Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[GeeGolly]

I wonder if any non Fundy folks would hire Michaela as a nanny. Some might be nervous about discipline styles and such, And if a family had older girls they may want a different type of role model.

[Arwen Evenstar]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I wonder if any non Fundy folks would hire Michaela as a nanny. Some might be nervous about discipline styles and such, And if a family had older girls they may want a different type of role model.

Yeah, she might start blanket training infants or handcuff a small boy she caught wanking. She'd lose her shit if she saw what most kids get up to.  Asaaand she'd snitch.

[Marigold]

OK guys, I am still stuck on the anal sex detail.

Tim is very homophobic?  Hmmmmm....i will just throw that thought into the universe...

[Arwen Evenstar]

Just now, Marigold said:

OK guys, I am still stuck on the anal sex detail.

Tim is very homophobic?  Hmmmmm....i will just throw that thought into the universe...

But ...but...that was a female anus...  I don't get it either...plenty of homophobic men I know say they are down with anal as long as it's a man with a woman...and that two men together is "sick", but two women together is "high art."

I wouldn't be surprised if his limited Fundyland knowledge of anatomy caused him to think that was where her coochie was. All I'm thinking is it sounds like he probably didn't use a condom either...double yuk.

Not making light of the assault...unwanted penetration of anyone by another person without consent  is assault as well as grabbing their breasts or genitalia without consent. 

[Marigold]

1 minute ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

But ...but...that was a female anus...  I don't get it either...plenty of homophobic men I know say they are down with anal as long as it's a man with a woman...and that two men together is "sick", but two women together is "high art."

 

For regular people, I agree.

For Tim?  This extreme homophobia and then we find out it's alleged anal sex with a woman? hmmm....

 

Well whatever. Tim is a very sick man who has proven himself to violent with a woman and a rapist, allegedly.  I don't care what kind of Christian you are and how much Jesus lives in your heart.  Tim is a sick fuck. 

[Bitter Betty]

I just wonder if Tabitha knew the anal detail. With as sheltered as she is, I have to believe that has to be a "WTF???" type of reaction for her. Would it even occur to people as sheltered as these people are that such a thing is possible?

[RazzleberryPie]

25 minutes ago, Marigold said:

OK guys, I am still stuck on the anal sex detail.

Tim is very homophobic?  Hmmmmm....i will just throw that thought into the universe...

I'm stuck on that detail, too, but I don't think Tim is being over homophobic because he is secretly into men. I think this was more about dominating, controlling and overpowering, and doing something bad to a bad woman. 

3 minutes ago, Marigold said:

For regular people, I agree.

For Tim?  This extreme homophobia and then we find out it's alleged anal sex with a woman? hmmm....

 

Well whatever. Tim is a very sick man who has proven himself to violent with a woman and a rapist, allegedly.  I don't care what kind of Christian you are and how much Jesus lives in your heart.  Tim is a sick fuck. 

This. Except we can remove the allegedly, because he did indeed allocute to sexual assault that consisted of anal sex with an unconsenting woman. That is proven to me. He may never do it again, he may be remorseful (yeah, I'm being generous on that one), he may have turned his life around completely, etc., but for that one instance, he was found guilty. 

[ariel]

1 hour ago, Marigold said:

OK guys, I am still stuck on the anal sex detail.

Tim is very homophobic?  Hmmmmm....i will just throw that thought into the universe...

I am too.  A sleazy straight guy who is taking advantage of a passed out woman doesn't usually go for her anus.

ETA  - would like to add the word "rape".  "Taking advantage" makes the deed sound much more benign than it is.

Edited January 28, 2017 by ariel

[Arwen Evenstar]

2 minutes ago, Marigold said:

For regular people, I agree.

For Tim?  This extreme homophobia and then we find out it's alleged anal sex with a woman? hmmm....

 

Well whatever. Tim is a very sick man who has proven himself to violent with a woman and a rapist, allegedly.  I don't care what kind of Christian you are and how much Jesus lives in your heart.  Tim is a sick fuck. 

ITA, Marigold.  There's no way what he did was benign or harmless in any way, shape, or form.  Most homophobic males I know are just uncomfortable with the idea because it's just not their cup of tea, but they would never go as far as to post hate filled sanctimonious screeds online against gays. It makes him all the more a hypocrite. I thought ATI/Gothard was all about vaginal only and missionary position. 

Even among consenting adults in loving relationships, there's still potential  for this act to be injurious to tissue or be very uncomfortable. To force that on somebody is just too brutal and cruel and humiliating to imagine. He should be ashamed of himself, but he doesn't sound as remorseful as he should for what he did. I get he found religion again, and believes he's all washed clean and right with God, but I guess he missed that part in the Bible about 'earthly consequences" still applying to him. The court of public opinion in his church, his sense of shame for hurting another human being. Had he said that she was a stripper, but went on to say that didn't justify him taking without asking, and that doing such a thing to anyone regardless of their reputation is never right.  But he didn't.

Poor Tabby better sleep on her back at night. He might think that because he's married, he can try this again. If she's down with that, then fine. If she doesn't want to...that's another thing.  I can't believe this creep is the best that her father can find for her. Tabby, you deserve so much more!!!!

[JoanArc]

Quote

Tim is very homophobic?  Hmmmmm....i will just throw that thought into the universe...

Humiliation? Birth control?

[Sew Sumi]

Subject change.... Lexi Mae has arrived (she was so stupid to post the name then delete it). 1/26, 7:20pm, 6lbs.2oz. Right on time, pretty much. 

eta: I just found this BUB album. Haven't seen it, but I suppose it's cute. http://uptv.com/shows/bringing-up-bates/news/alyssa-bates-webster-and-husband-john-welcome-daughter-lexi-mae-to-the-world/V

Edited January 28, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[andromeda331]

26 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Subject change.... Lexi Mae has arrived (she was so stupid to post the name then delete it). 1/26, 7:20pm, 6lbs.2oz. Right on time, pretty much. 

eta: I just found this BUB album. Haven't seen it, but I suppose it's cute. http://uptv.com/shows/bringing-up-bates/news/alyssa-bates-webster-and-husband-john-welcome-daughter-lexi-mae-to-the-world/V

Wow, Alyssa's kind of lucky. Allie's born on her due date, and Lexi two days before.

[Arwen Evenstar]

I guess we should just call Tim "Cornholio". (Beavis and Butthead)

Thanks for the change of subject, Sew.   What a pretty little baby.  Some babies just born don't look so pretty right away due to being pushed out through the birth canal. Takes some of them about a week to stop looking like Wilson Churchill before they really get cute. But this one is so pretty.

[RedheadZombie]

33 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Subject change.... Lexi Mae has arrived. 1/26, 7:20pm, 6lbs.2oz. Right on time, pretty much. 

I usually think newborns look a little generic, but that baby looks just like Alyssa. 

[Sew Sumi]

I still can't figure out who Allie Jane looks like, or if she's an outlier like Jessa Duggar. 

eta: I forget that she can look like Websters. I have only seen a couple siblings and the Congressman. I don't even recall what he looks like, other than tan nasty. 

Edited January 28, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[Muffyn]

On ‎1‎/‎26‎/‎2017 at 5:57 PM, Sew Sumi said:

That was my recollection as well. I wonder how long men have to wait to have the swimmers tested?

Just one caveat, for the men to get their swimmers tested, they would need to produce said swimmers.  For most men, that means a bottle  of lotion, some porn, a private room and a small container to shoot into.  Hands are involved.  I think we all know that the fundie men are not allowed to touch themselves.  Whatever will they do?  Think on Jesus until they get hard?   

[lookeyloo]

4 hours ago, Muffyn said:

Just one caveat, for the men to get their swimmers tested, they would need to produce said swimmers.  For most men, that means a bottle  of lotion, some porn, a private room and a small container to shoot into.  Hands are involved.  I think we all know that the fundie men are not allowed to touch themselves.  Whatever will they do?  Think on Jesus until they get hard?   

I'm just guessing here, where is @doodlebug - way back a very long time ago my mother was trying to get pregnant.  I was a child, but remember them saying my grandmother had to come over to babysit me, while my parents had intercourse, and then they both went to the doctor to test whatever was produced inside of her.  (We lived in a small town and the doctor's office was very close) Okay, back then I had no idea what all that was about, but, I did remember it.  I don't know if they can do a sperm count for that or they were testing her girlie parts to see if she killed them off.  Anyway, shortly thereafter, she got pregnant.  And I don't know if there was any intervention back then.  I'm talking 65 years ago.  

[kokapetl]

9 hours ago, Marigold said:

For regular people, I agree.

For Tim?  This extreme homophobia and then we find out it's alleged anal sex with a woman? hmmm....

 

Well whatever. Tim is a very sick man who has proven himself to violent with a woman and a rapist, allegedly.  I don't care what kind of Christian you are and how much Jesus lives in your heart.  Tim is a sick fuck. 

A non violent offense, according to the boxes ticked on the indictment 

9 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

I'm stuck on that detail, too, but I don't think Tim is being over homophobic because he is secretly into men. I think this was more about dominating, controlling and overpowering, and doing something bad to a bad woman. 

This. Except we can remove the allegedly, because he did indeed allocute to sexual assault that consisted of anal sex with an unconsenting woman. That is proven to me. He may never do it again, he may be remorseful (yeah, I'm being generous on that one), he may have turned his life around completely, etc., but for that one instance, he was found guilty. 

He plead guilty, so there was no trial where he was found guilty. 

The details of what happened are really scant. Josh's lying porn star created more paperwork. 

The way the American justice system works, I don't trust it. Innocent people will gladly plead guilty if it means no jail time. The prosecutors just want to score a conviction. 

[satrunrose]

On 1/26/2017 at 10:21 AM, tabloidlover said:

So, Tabby has kept herself pure for a man twice her age that was a registered sex offender.  Her first time will be with a man who sodomized a passed out drunk woman the moment her boyfriend ran to the store??  This is God's will for her? 

If this actually happens (I wish it wouldn't but don't have my breath held), I wonder if Chad will ever leave Erin in a room with him.   No way that happens.  They can spout forgiven and God's grace all they want, I don't see it happening.

*Dripping in sarcasm* Silly Tabloidlover, Erin would never drink or pass out or be a stripper. She is a godly woman and therefore in no danger whatsoever. Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! What is wrong with these people!?!

[bigskygirl]

 Praying that God will use you mightily to share His love as you grow up!  Seriously...Words escape me!!!

[Arwen Evenstar]

2 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

 Praying that God will use you mightily to share His love as you grow up!  Seriously...Words escape me!!!

It sounds like a standard Fundy blessing to be repeated every year after this little one's birthday...drippy sundaes to follow after first birthday cupcake.

[GeeGolly]

3 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

 Praying that God will use you mightily to share His love as you grow up!  Seriously...Words escape me!!!

Must be how you encourage that servant's heart. We love you, but we'll love you more when you begin spreading the message of Jesus. Welcome to the world!

[Marigold]

6 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

I'm just guessing here, where is @doodlebug - way back a very long time ago my mother was trying to get pregnant.  I was a child, but remember them saying my grandmother had to come over to babysit me, while my parents had intercourse, and then they both went to the doctor to test whatever was produced inside of her.  (We lived in a small town and the doctor's office was very close) Okay, back then I had no idea what all that was about, but, I did remember it.  I don't know if they can do a sperm count for that or they were testing her girlie parts to see if she killed them off.  Anyway, shortly thereafter, she got pregnant.  And I don't know if there was any intervention back then.  I'm talking 65 years ago.  

I have posted before that i have had many miscarriages and also children.  Those many miscarriages have led to many appointments looking for the cause. 

Yes, that is still how they do it.  It's called a "Post Coital".  You have sex and then head to the doctor.  They take a sperm sample.  They do it this way because it looks at a few things at one time.  Obviously, the sperm.  They grade and analyze the sperm.  They also see how the sperm functions inside of the vagina.  With a "cup sample" of sperm, you are only getting the sperm.  That's helpful but a sample from the vaginal tells a lot more. 

It was no big deal really.  Sex and a GYN standard pelvic exam.  

[Arwen Evenstar]

19 minutes ago, Marigold said:

I have posted before that i have had many miscarriages and also children.  Those many miscarriages have led to many appointments looking for the cause. 

Yes, that is still how they do it.  It's called a "Post Coital".  You have sex and then head to the doctor.  They take a sperm sample.  They do it this way because it looks at a few things at one time.  Obviously, the sperm.  They grade and analyze the sperm.  They also see how the sperm functions inside of the vagina.  With a "cup sample" of sperm, you are only getting the sperm.  That's helpful but a sample from the vaginal tells a lot more. 

It was no big deal really.  Sex and a GYN standard pelvic exam.  

Maybe they aren't having enough sex?  As ignorant as they all are about such things, it wouldn't surprise me they aren't doing it enough or at the right time. Most of these type of Fundy aren't even possessed of the knowledge available in the pamphlets at any OBGYN office. Maybe Fundy OBGYN only provide this to married straight women who haven't yet "figured it out".

Edited January 28, 2017 by Arwen Evenstar

[Marigold]

My IFB background was obviously "lite" compared to this crap.  Everyone knew about fertility etc. No birth control but everyone knew everything. 

I doubt that Michael is that unaware...Maybe she is????  

[Arwen Evenstar]

10 minutes ago, Marigold said:

My IFB background was obviously "lite" compared to this crap.  Everyone knew about fertility etc. No birth control but everyone knew everything. 

I doubt that Michael is that unaware...Maybe she is????  

The IFB church I grew up around from age 9 to 14...was also lite compared to Gothard nonsense. Gothard makes most IFB churches look liberal and hedonistic by comparison. I don't recall the IFB church I went to ever preaching against birth control, but big on modesty and purity.

With some of the speculation about Brandon being forced to be "cured" by marriage....or that he may just not have a high sex drive to begin with...as sex obsessed as Boob and M are, not everyone has a high libido.  I've always had a higher drive than most men I know or have been in a physical relationship with...I may be an outlier, but I know plenty of men and women who have little to no interest in sex. Different people have different needs..and it's all valid.

Edited January 28, 2017 by Arwen Evenstar

[Absolom]

I have forgotten, possibly deliberately, but along with other OT rules/laws didn't Gothard also peddle waiting after a woman's cycle?  That has caused some orthodox Jewish infertility and if Michael ovulates early and they are strictly following Gothard that might be another explanation. I can't believe we're having this discussion either. 

[louannems]

On the latest BUB show, Brandon seemed fine about the delayed pregnancy.  He said it will happen if and when god wishes it.  He said they are meant to be just a couple right now.  If only Michaela could be using this time attending classes or working outside the home.  The older she is once she does start a family, the fewer she will probably have!

[Marigold]

1 hour ago, Absolom said:

I have forgotten, possibly deliberately, but along with other OT rules/laws didn't Gothard also peddle waiting after a woman's cycle?  That has caused some orthodox Jewish infertility and if Michael ovulates early and they are strictly following Gothard that might be another explanation. I can't believe we're having this discussion either. 

I THINK Michelle talked about waiting a certain number of days after giving birth as per OT law

It's a weird conversation but the Bates and Duggars always talk about this subject so openly. 

[Albanyguy]

1 hour ago, louannems said:

Brandon seemed fine about the delayed pregnancy.  He said it will happen if and when god wishes it.

I think this is the first time I've heard anyone connected with Gothardism actually interpret "As many children as God sends us" to mean "Sometimes God may want us to have a baby and sometimes He may not." Usually they take "As many children as God sends us" to mean "Do everything possible to get pregnant as often as possible, no matter what the consequences." Anna, Jill, Jessa and the rest of them seem to regard not getting a positive result every time they pee on a stick as a crushing failure. And that monster of fertility, Michelle, was always slightly crazy, but she only turned into a real bug-eyed loon when the stream of babies dried up. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

Seems that Brandon has it more right as far as that particular belief goes. God may not be ready to send them one just let.  The Bates and Duggar daughters are under tremendous pressure since their uber fertile moms had so many and most of the already married daughters got pregnant in the blink of an eye. I'm sure I'd think something was wrong with me too had I come from such stock with such beliefs.

Because of Erin's issues, more than one of her sisters may have inherited this disorder. They'd be very wise to rule that out.

[doodlebug]

23 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

I'm just guessing here, where is @doodlebug - way back a very long time ago my mother was trying to get pregnant.  I was a child, but remember them saying my grandmother had to come over to babysit me, while my parents had intercourse, and then they both went to the doctor to test whatever was produced inside of her.  (We lived in a small town and the doctor's office was very close) Okay, back then I had no idea what all that was about, but, I did remember it.  I don't know if they can do a sperm count for that or they were testing her girlie parts to see if she killed them off.  Anyway, shortly thereafter, she got pregnant.  And I don't know if there was any intervention back then.  I'm talking 65 years ago.  

Looking for me?  Anyway, we used to do postcoital testing a lot.  That's the one where the couple does the deed and then the woman comes to the office and the doc does a swab of the vagina and looks at it under the microscope to see if his boys were busy swimming for home, etc.  However, research ultimately showed that it didn't correlate very well with ultimate baby-making results and that treating 'abnormal' PCT's didn't work either.  There may be occasion to do them these days, but not often.

We still do the semenalysis which does involve the guy doing the deed into a cup.  Fundie guys could probably claim they were doing it for Jesus and didn't enjoy it.  It is also quite possible for the partner to provide some assistance to him in producing the specimen.

[BitterApple]

I think they're just not having sex frequently enough or at the right times in Michael's cycle to get her pregnant. IIRC, Erin had no problems conceiving, she just couldn't hold on to the pregnancy. Michael didn't admit to any miscarriages, but Brandon's blase attitude of "it'll happen when it happens" doesn't strike me as the demeanor of a man who's watched his wife go through the trauma of losing a baby. 

[Sew Sumi]

I was going to post what @BitterApple said. No mention of miscarriages. I doubt Michael has Erin's condition, but not having conceived, I guess we can't TOTALLY rule it out. Alyssa hasn't admitted any miscarriages either, but mentioned the condition when Erin finally succeeded in keeping her pregnancy. I bet she's been tested, if it's permissable with no history of miscarriages. 

Michael's issues seem to be different.

[Arwen Evenstar]

23 hours ago, Absolom said:

I have forgotten, possibly deliberately, but along with other OT rules/laws didn't Gothard also peddle waiting after a woman's cycle?  That has caused some orthodox Jewish infertility and if Michael ovulates early and they are strictly following Gothard that might be another explanation. I can't believe we're having this discussion either. 

That sounds accurate...but I'm not sure.  The whole Orthodox ritual of "bedikah" (checking) and immersing oneself in a Mikvah (cleansing bath) to do it properly doesn't seem to be Gothard doctrine, otherwise we would have certainly heard about it. It's very intricate and complicated, so too much effort for Duggars.

Having sex while one still has their period is gross IMO...I'm usually feeling too bad to even contemplate it.  No doubt these poor Gothard wives are grateful for a little peace, not to pawed over and groped and having to joyfully do their "duties".  Those home births probably tore too many of these women from stem to stern, and it makes things more uncomfortable for them, since the idea of any of them actually receiving pleasure from their awkward and boorish husbands isn't probably likely.

[GeeGolly]

If Brandon is a true believer this could be a problem. 

https://tbarramblings.wordpress.com/2010/09/05/what-exactly-does-bill-gothard-teach/

... Gothard advocated couples follow such old covenant rules as abstaining from sexual relations:

• 1.  During a woman’s menstrual cycle
• 2.  Seven days after the cycle
• 3.  Forty days after the birth of a son 
• 4.  80 days after the birth of a daughter and
•  5. The evening prior to worship. 

http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2011/12/mr-gothards-sexual-rules-part-2/ 

... Mr. Gothard’s approach to having self-control – don’t have sex for 14 days out of each month. 

 

And Gothard can't even make up his mind as to why he making these rules.

Edited January 29, 2017 by GeeGolly

[Arwen Evenstar]

Gothard styled himself as a never married sworn virgin...he sure gave a lot of advice about something he didn't know much about....

[TaxNerd]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

If Brandon is a true believer this could be a problem. 

https://tbarramblings.wordpress.com/2010/09/05/what-exactly-does-bill-gothard-teach/

... Gothard advocated couples follow such old covenant rules as abstaining from sexual relations:

• 1.  During a woman’s menstrual cycle
• 2.  Seven days after the cycle
• 3.  Forty days after the birth of a son 
• 4.  80 days after the birth of a daughter and
•  5. The evening prior to worship. 

http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2011/12/mr-gothards-sexual-rules-part-2/ 

... Mr. Gothard’s approach to having self-control – don’t have sex for 14 days out of each month. 

 

And Gothard can't even make up his mind as to why he making these rules.

....don't they worship daily?

[riverblue22]

Don't they say that most miscarriages occur so early that the woman doesn't even know she is pregnant?  I'm wondering if Michael could have the same condition as Erin, only worse.  Maybe with a more serious clotting condition the embryo wouldn't even survive a week or two.

[Sew Sumi]

Well, we certainly know that they test at 3 weeks. I have no clue if the condition has grades of severity, hell, I've forgotten the name of the condition! I did look it up at the time, but don't remember anything about gradations. I would assume a blood test would confirm the condition, no matter how mild or severe (if that's even an issue). 

I wonder if Michael can walk into an OBGYN's office and ask to be tested at any time, given her family history, or if she has to have known miscarriages herself before a doctor will test for it?  This brings me to insurance. Does IBLP even offer it, or do they have to go the Scamaritan route and hope that members will essentially crowd fund the cost of the test? Will Scamaritan (or another similar Christian crowdfunded outfit) pay for infertility testing? After all, even Brandon mentioned God's timing. If fundies are true to their word, wouldn't that preclude any kind of infertility testing at all? Or is this when they invoke God's creation of modern medicine, as they did when they had to defend Kelly taking progesterone to sustain her last two or three pregnancies? I get that sustaining is different from conception; that's why I want to know where they draw the line with "God's timing." 

[Arwen Evenstar]

Kelly once said that once they knew about the pregnancy they felt a moral imperative to do whatever was necessary to keep it going.  Honestly, I do believe there was some rivalry between the Duggars and Bates as to who had the mostest blessings, but it did seem friendly. Fundy women like to compete with one another.

I would think "leaving it up to God", at least to me means not doing anything to actively prevent pregnancy, but not looking to pee on a stick every time you do the deed. At least wait for a missed period...they don't drink, use drugs, smoke, and likely take little in the way of medication, so they don't engage in the high risk behavior that would compromise a pregnancy...so why pee on sticks all the time?

[janey]

As long as they have been trying for a year they can walk into any doctor and ask for testing. I don't know what kind of insurance they have, but in Illinois it is required that HMOs cover fertility services (I think there is an employee minimum). It is very possible she has the same or similar to Erin. I do and I never got pregnant without fertility treatments. It is also NOT a part of traditional screening. (At least it didn't used to be. I had to go trough two rounds of IVF, two miscarriages of three babies and a fabricated suspected diagnosis of something else in order to get the bloodwork done because insurance denied the request for recurrent miscarriage test - all after 4 failed rounds of clomid and 3 failed IUIs. It is not a fun process). 

Edited January 30, 2017 by janey

[questionfear]

It depends so much on insurance. I know that if you can document an issue, you can get treatment ahead of trying for a year. My wife and I were able to get coverage right away from my insurance, though the fertility clinic did tell us they were going to argue that since two women physically couldn't make a baby we had an argument for "infertility" right from the jump. Don't know if that worked or if they were able to present some other data, but insurance covered just about everything (except the, ahem, requisite missing biological material; we had to buy that ourselves). 

[GeeGolly]

I also think age is a factor in being tested for infertility too. If you're over 30 insurance companies will cover it sooner.

[ChaChaSlide]

On January 30, 2017 at 5:00 PM, janey said:

As long as they have been trying for a year they can walk into any doctor and ask for testing. I don't know what kind of insurance they have, but in Illinois it is required that HMOs cover fertility services (I think there is an employee minimum). It is very possible she has the same or similar to Erin. I do and I never got pregnant without fertility treatments. It is also NOT a part of traditional screening. (At least it didn't used to be. I had to go trough two rounds of IVF, two miscarriages of three babies and a fabricated suspected diagnosis of something else in order to get the bloodwork done because insurance denied the request for recurrent miscarriage test - all after 4 failed rounds of clomid and 3 failed IUIs. It is not a fun process). 

My heart goes out to you, I hope your journey ended with a happy and healthy baby!

I am currently going through similar, 3 miscarriages (but they won't count two because they're happening right after implantation and before my cycle is due ) and an ectopic all after several failed IUI rounds and a failed IVF round over the span of 3 years. My insurance STILL won't do a miscarriage test, best I can get for now is a chromosomal abnormality/compatibility test on both my husband's and my blood. According to my doctor, im still 2 miscarriages short of their requirements for miscarriage testing, which includes a panel for natural killer (NK cells). 

The American Society of Reproductive Medicine recommends going in to a reproductive endocrinologist after trying for 12 months, or 6 months if you're older than 35. I got my referral after 6 months at 21 though because I knew and my doctor agreed that conceiving would be an uphill battle with PCOS and Endometriosis pretty much since puberty. 

Edited February 1, 2017 by ChaChaSlide

[janey]

3 hours ago, ChaChaSlide said:

My heart goes out to you, I hope your journey ended with a happy and healthy baby!

I am currently going through similar, 3 miscarriages (but they won't count two because they're happening right after implantation and before my cycle is due ) and an ectopic all after several failed IUI rounds and a failed IVF round over the span of 3 years. My insurance STILL won't do a miscarriage test, best I can get for now is a chromosomal abnormality/compatibility test on both my husband's and my blood. According to my doctor, im still 2 miscarriages short of their requirements for miscarriage testing, which includes a panel for natural killer (NK cells). 

The American Society of Reproductive Medicine recommends going in to a reproductive endocrinologist after trying for 12 months, or 6 months if you're older than 35. I got my referral after 6 months at 21 though because I knew and my doctor agreed that conceiving would be an uphill battle with PCOS and Endometriosis pretty much since puberty. 

Oh my heart goes out to you too! It is such a trying, uphill battle. My journey did end happily - after a 5 year process (and the use of blood thinners) we had our first. Over the next 7 we were able to have two more. 

I always thought it cruel that part of the diagnostic process did not include blood testing for known complications and that insurance companies would rather follow strict guidelines when for so many this process could be streamlined by doing this bloodwork earlier in the game. 

I send you positive energy and prayers of hope for you and your husband on your journey. On those days when things seem hopeless know that someone is hopeful for you.

To bring it back around topic, I hope that due too family history Michaela can skip some of the heartache of the process and get answers. 

Edited February 1, 2017 by janey

[Marigold]

I have mixed feeling about Brandon and his attitude of "in God's timing"

Michael wants a baby and this is her whole life.  I think it's cruel to deny her that. However, they all drink the same kool aid so who the hell really cares anyway.  Michael chooses to follow whatever Brandon says so this is the result. 

[lianau]

Brandon was in no hurry to get married so I think he's also in no hurry to have children .

[Absolom]

His family doesn't seem to have the same rush to marry and have kids dynamic as Duggars and Bateses.

[Lunera]

If Brandon does follow those Gothard rules they might be having sex only twice a month. He does have a full time 9-5 job so it's normal he would be tired after work, so maybe only the weekends. He doesn't seem like the kind to initiate sex and neither does Michael.

Edited February 2, 2017 by Lunera