Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Joe Jitsu913]

Scroll down to about the fifth photo in this article:

http://davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/david-story/

I think that one epitomizes David's flare.

I really just want to invite him to P-town and introduce him to Judy Garland and Barbara Streisand's music. I bet he would have a gay old time!

[ginger90]

From: http://davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/david-story/

It was toward the end of my third year of life that I recognized I was a sinner and that the punishment for sin is eternal separation from God in a horrible place of torment that He calls hell. I remember talking to my parents about my placing my trust in Christ as my only hope for salvation. I also remember the calm assurance that swept over my soul after giving my life to Jesus Christ and trusting Him alone for salvation.

At 3, wow!

Edited September 13, 2014 by ginger90

[Fostersmom]

Yeah, I kinda see that as child abuse. Your 3 year old shouldn't be convinced he's "bad" or going to hell. A 3 year old shouldn't even know what hell is. 

[kalamac]

I'm a non-believer, but if someone told me I wasn't going to heaven because I was gay, I'd be fine with that. Because why would I want to spend an eternal afterlife with a being who hates me for something about myself that I have no control over. That wouldn't be heaven for me.

[truthtalk2014]

Yeah, I kinda see that as child abuse. Your 3 year old shouldn't be convinced he's "bad" or going to hell. A 3 year old shouldn't even know what hell is. 

I was told all that BS a child growing up- and I do believe it is child abuse - and something passed down from generation to generation.  But it is cruel none the less.  I still have bad feelings for my mother putting that crap in my head.  No child should go though that. I grew up in a small town- and honestly at some point, you realize that there is nothing else to do but join a freaking bible group and be involved in something.  

 

I went in and out of the bible bs - wild child and then bible thumper.  I even went to one of the crazy bible thumper university for a year.  My brain was literally destroyed by the bs I was taught as a child and later. 

 

Thankfully, the internet came along and much later, I learned that all the bs I was taught was just that. And much later I met a wonderful man from the west coast that didn't really judge me, but enlightened me to the bible bs.   I just feel so bad for children that never get the chance to realize the same.  

Edited September 15, 2014 by truthtalk2014

[andromeda331]

I'm a non-believer, but if someone told me I wasn't going to heaven because I was gay, I'd be fine with that.

 

 

I remember asked my grandpa that question whether or not gays went to Heaven or not because everyone said they didn't and my grandpa was the most religious Christian I ever met, he knew the Bible back  and forth, had such an absolute faith in Jesus that he was always the best person to ask about anything. He answer was 'Why wouldn't they?' he said Jesus said the way to Heaven was through him, he didn't say except the gay people. Considering he was and is our Lord and Savior he figured if Jesus was going to be specific He would have said so. He could never figure out why people would put gays in the group of sinners or going to Hell. Hell he told me was for the truly horrible of humanity: murders, mass murders, people who hurt children or hurt other people. 

[GrapeEarth]

Saw the episode today with David, Anna's brother-in-law. There are no words.

 

He was talking about Josh's body within two minutes of seeing him and yikes all the touching. David is so very very fabulous.

[Fuzzysox]

Just read on a Bates Family fan FB page that they are filming their show once again The United States Of Bates to appear in 2015!! Woot does Boob know?

Edited September 21, 2014 by Fuzzysox

[bigskygirl]

Ugh!!! The title bugs the heck out of me. I guess TLC is getting desperate. I cannot stand the Bates either.

[Fuzzysox]

Come on now!!!! It will give us something to snark about. In my mind I find Kelly to be much better personality wise then Mullet.

[CarolMK]

I think the Bates family is more realistic than the Duggars even if they follow the same Gothard religion and rituals. Too bad the public had to miss out on the past year of the weddings of 3 of their kids. Though Zach and Whitney are about to have their first child, so maybe we'll see something related to that.

Another thing I like about the Bates, the older kids do seem to have real jobs...Erin has a degree now and teaches music, Michaela works as a nanny at least part time, Lawson runs a landscaping business and Nate, I think, wants to be a minister and has actually preached sermons. It doesn't seem to matter to the Bates that their daughters have real jobs, whereas it seems frowned upon by the Duggars. I don't recall the Bates ever referring to jurisdictions of their kids or the buddy system. Some of their kids even have bedrooms that only have 2 or 3 kids rather than a bootcamp dormitory.

[Ljohnson1987]

The Bates are cominng back, but not TLC. A network called UP, which is like a Christian network will show them.

[cereality]

The Bates believe the same stuff as the Duggars but are more "watchable" bc they live their lives differently. They have allowed their kids -- esp the older ones -- to carve out lives within their beliefs; seems like each of the older ones is attending college or working full or part time. The colleges and professions may not be the full spectrum of what's available in the real world -- but it is better than being a 24 yr old sitting around in the Duggar home doing nothing.

 

I think they have a lot to show right now -- Chad/Erin and Zach/Whitney are nearby living their own lives, Michaela is courting, there are others running small businesses or going to school etc; I suspect they'll feature a visit to Alyssa and John in FL. I don't feel like they'd have to "create" a lot of trips and activities -- i.e. soap box derby cars -- in order to have something to film.

[Ljohnson1987]

I agree, Cereality.  The Bates are more marketable than the Duggars. The kids are allowed to live their own lives, and Kelly actually parents them their whole lives.

[Fuzzysox]

While Whitney got pregnant right away and we know Erin sadly miscarried,  Alyssa hasn't jumped on the honeymoon baby making band wagon  so I have higher hopes that the Bates girls will turn out so much better than the Duggar girls that have no other interests except to be a prop on their daddy's horse and pony show.

[cereality]

I don't think the Bates kids have been raised to "fear" their parents like the Duggars. With the Duggars, it's all about falling in line with the family so that you don't somehow jeopardize the TLC ship. With the Bates -- their kids can live how they want. I'm sure they will have kids who get pregnant right after they marry and have a kid every yr or two until they can't. I'm sure they'll also have kids who choose to be child free or have 1-2 max. Somehow I think Gil and Kelly will be ok with all of that and will not be lecturing a couple with an only child about how Godless they are.

 

Alyssa said on Nightline that she couldn't see herself handling 10 kids -- a very honest assessment that a Duggar would not feel comfortable stating; she said she could see 6-8 max. Her husband is one of 6 kids; some of his siblings are older and married and all seem to have between 1-3 kids. So while he's from a big family, he may not want a dozen kids of his own. Chad and Erin -- I'm sure they suffered a lot with their miscarriage, and it's possible that they didn't try again right away. They may just be taking the time to recover from that, support each other, have fun together, and then have a child when they can -- even if that means they're waiting a yr or more. These are concepts that seem lost on the Duggars.

[Sew Sumi]

Just read on a Bates Family fan FB page that they are filming their show once again The United States Of Bates to appear in 2015!! Woot does Boob know?

It won't be on TLC. It's on something called the UP Channel. Apparently, it used to be the Gospel Music Channel. Channel 338 on DirecTV, don't see it at all on Comcast (never heard of either channel before I saw the tumblr entry).

[andromeda331]

On Comcast, its Channel 135, I have it they play a lot of 7th Heaven and Touched By an Angel.

I'm kind of excited to see what the Bates show will be like I really liked their original show when they replayed it a couple months ago. I agree the Bates compared to the Duggars seem more normal or at least more natural around each other. The kids are relaxed and joke with each other, the dad has no problem teasing his kids and Kelly seems to know each of her kids. I like that the kids are allowed to have personalities and hobbies. Many of those have turned into careers or jobs. Erin is married, graduated from a college and works. The kids also seem to have a real relationship with their parents. I remember one episode for her birthday Alyssa and her dad went hunting, they were so natural with each other and had a great time. I can't really think of any of the Duggar kids who feel so natural or relaxed with their parents. Unless its one of the little girls with their sister-mom. I also really liked Kelly saying in one of their first episodes that she was the Mom and it was her job to raise her kids, she chose to have 19 kids not them and it wasn't up to her kids to have to help raise them. There's something you'd never hear Michelle say. Mrs. I have 19 kids and chose to raise 0 of them. 

[LazyToaster]

I don't get this channel regularly - I run across it once in awhile, must be a promotional thing from my satellite company that is offered from time to time. 

 

There was a reality show on Up that I watched a few times.  It was a Christian family on a ranch (forget the name) that takes in foster kids and also raised their own kids (when I saw it their youngest was in high school if I remember right).  It was a good show and they seemed so much more "real" to me.  They were dealing with teens and I'm sure it isn't always easy.  I liked the way it was presented more than what you see from TLC.  It was clear they have a lot of faith, but it wasn't crazy strict.  It will be interesting to see how they show the Bates family!   

Edited September 22, 2014 by LazyToaster

[CarolMK]

Some people might be familiar with the Jeub family..Chris and Wendy Jeub have 16 children and are friends with the Duggars. Their two oldest girls are out on their own and have been for several years, the oldest one was in fact made to leave since she was showing signs of rebellion (according to her parents) at age 19. Now their second two daughter, Cynthia and Lydia, and living away from home in their own apartment and seem to be experiencing a similar shunning, they are 22 and 20. Both Cynthia and Lydia are on Twitter. The Jeub family was featured on Kids by the Dozen a few years ago. Though not as intense as the Duggars in terms of the way they raise their children, apparently it's been difficult for the oldest 4 daughters. There is a thread about it on Free Jinger if anybody cares to look it up under the Jeub daughters.

[floridamom]

IMO, the Jeub family should be ashamed of themselves. Would the Lord turn His back on anyone? No. Isn't that what they preach? That God loves you and forgives you with his mercy and grace? So, why don't they practice the same type of acceptance and love and their God? The Duggars obviously agree with this sentiment towards their children. We now know what the real consequences would be to the Duggar children if they were to develop any of their own ideas even if they modify slightly from their parents'. I have asked of the Duggars to give a real honest, truthful interview about such things and what their actions would be. If any of their children chose a more mainstream route of Christianity in their own lives, (nothing radical here, just dress more contemporarily, work outside the home, etc) would those children still be welcome at their dining room table when visiting? These issues, of course, are NEVER addressed because they would be shunned. Shame on them.

[floridamom]

I'm not sure of the timeline here, because TLC is so far behind real time. I believe the reason JB "ok'd" Derick for Jill is because Gil Bates' daughters were marrying "up". From what I remember, there is a senator's son, a dentist's son in Fl and at that time, Jessa had Ben. JB needed to find at least a college educated guy for one of them, so he dug up Derick from his prayer list. Even Priscilla Keller, married a Waller, yes I know, fabulous David, but isn't that a BIG name in their circles? It's all a competition for JB no matter what the game is.

[GEML]

The only reason I cut JB some slack is that within Gothardism itself, marriages are far more likely to take place around 25-28, as the ability to provide for a family is not insignificant.

[CarolMK]

I've been reading Cynthia Jeub's blog (it's under her name, just google it to find it). Apparently both she and her sister Lydia were thrown out of the house last year. Also, she has made 3 recent statements about how she and her siblings all suffered physical abuse from both of her parents, and it has been going on for many years now. She's in therapy now. Some of her family is now commenting on her blog, including her older sister Alicia who is now about 30, the one sister Alissa, who is married to a Muslim and is living in Australia, has not commented just yet. It's incredibly sad to read, especially since Chris and Wendy Jeub claim to be such wonderful parent and publish parenting books such as "Love in the House". I only saw the Jeubs on that Kids by the Dozen show though I understand that they did make another tv special. The kids were all homeschooled and I think they're conservative Baptist but not sure if they follow Gothard or not. 

[GEML]

That's what potentially very scary about this entire deeply fundamentalist world.  I've been close enough to know that when it works, and the husband is not power hungry (or alternatively, feels inadequate)  and the wife isn't a doormat type (or alternatively, so needy that she constantly berates her husband for his lack of "leadership")  that it isn't a terrible way to run a marriage and raise a family.  There really are some truly godly ministers out there, leading good churches.  But one small part goes wrong, and it can be so costly for everyone involved.

[Micks Picks]

Which are the Jeubs?  I remember seeing a family in Callifornia where they were sending the oldest or one of the oldest girls to college in Santa Barbara, I think.  The mom was the mother of all of the kids, but the dad came along later.  Is that the Jeub family?

[mythoughtis]

The Jueb's were on some special 'Kids by the Dozen', and have been photographed with the Duggars at various functions (and mentioned as 'Very Good Friends'.   My understanding is that the wife had two children prior to being with this husband (can't remember that backstory), but they have 14 together. 

 

The oldest had a child out of wedlock, and was shunned for quite some time before they remembered the story of the prodigal son and 'forgave ' her.  However, given the blog comments, it seems she has fallen out of favor again now. 

When your 4 oldest daughters are all shunned because they chose to be adults and discover their own beliefs and values rather than hold to yours,.... that's pretty telling, don't you think? I read the last few blog entries, and I recognize that kind of old-style parenting, where the belt and fist are daily happenings.

Edited October 8, 2014 by mythoughtis

[Bella]

 

When your 4 oldest daughters are all shunned because they chose to be adults and discover their own beliefs and values rather than hold to yours,.... that's pretty telling, don't you think?

 

To jokingly convey the unwavering nature of maternal love, my mom used to say something like "you can shoot the preacher and set the church on fire, and your mother will always love you." Evidently she was not talking about Gothard mothers.

[Fuzzysox]

I don't see Kelly and Gil going to the Benessa wedding sinc etheir new grandson will be born at the end of the month. I would hope they would rather be with the baby then hanging out with ole Boob thinking about all the special times they have had together. (not really but they keep the BS going)

[CarolMK]

The Jeub story keeps getting worse every day. In Cynthia Jeub's latest update posted today, she tells about how Michael and Debi Pearl visited their family and that their parents worshipped them. Apparently the physical abuse after that became horrific after that visit.

Chris Jeub, her father, actually had the nerve to put out a podcast from him and his oldest 4 children still at home (ranging in age from 14 to 18), that what their parents did wasn't abusive, it was just "normal". Ugh..all 4 of them go on for about a half hour of how yes, they admit they were disciplined, etc. but don't believe

that there were in fact abused. Even when Wendy punched her oldest son so hard, he needed makeup to cover it for the filming of their Kids by the Dozen show. The next younger son admits that his mother threw silverware at him when he didn't do the dishes. But it was okay with him because she apologized.

And Chris admitted the whole family needs counseling. They want Cynthia to go to counseling with them. Not by herself, with them. His podcast was deleted but is now posted on Cynthia Jeub's blog under her post of today. It was very hard to listen to, knowing that he put his kids up to this.

[CarolMK]

Wasn't the Bates first grandchild due today? Is there any update from the family about how they're doing now?

[Fuzzysox]

Wasn't the Bates first grandchild due today? Is there any update from the family about how they're doing now?

I think 10/22 was his due date. I haven't seen or heard anything yet.

[Literata]

In the "Jill's wedding" thread, someone posted Kelly's news that the Bateses are going to have a new show on the UP network after the first of the year. Anyone know anything about this? I can't find anything online. 

[Fuzzysox]

Bradley Bates was born on Wednesday the 29th!!

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-moms/news/bringing-up-bates-stars-whitney-and-zach-welcome-baby-boy-picture-20143010

Will Boob and MEchelle send them a gift from their warehouse for the baby? I'd like to know!

[ooh.boo]

Here's what's on the UP TV website. 

 

http://www.uptv.com/bringingupbates

 

 

[BitterApple]

Aw, congrats to Zach and Whitney, their baby is beautiful. 

 

Fuzzysox, I'm sure Michelle directed her minions (i.e. the J'slaves) to run to Goodwill and buy several spit-up stained outfits to send to the new mommy! Or she sent Whitney a copy of their book... You know the Duggars would never fork out money for a nice baby gift.

[Literata]

Excellent find, ooh.boo! Thanks!

 

 

The new season will explore new, ever-changing family dynamics as the Bates celebrate the birth of the first grandchild with son Zach (25) and his wife Whitney; foster the courtship of Michaella (24) and Brandon Keilen by allowing him to share an extended visit with the family during the holiday season; support Erin (23) and her husband Chad Paine as they face a health issue that challenges their hope of starting a family; check in on newlywed Alyssa (19) as she finds her way in Florida with new husband, John Webster, the son of a U.S. Congressman and makes a surprise announcement; encourage Tori (18) to bring order to the family schedule and step up to meet the challenges of child training as her parents have become more lax in their later years.

Urgh. I hate that they have to refer to it as "child training" instead of "child raising."

 

Anyway ...

 

I wonder what health issue Erin and Chad are facing ... maybe something hormonal that caused her to miscarry? I'm not a huge Erin fan, but I hope she's OK.

 

I'm glad to see this show is going to be happening. I've always preferred the Bateses to the Duggars -- primarily because although Gil and Kelly are obviously Quiverfull and all kinds of (IMO) crazy, they obviously love each and every one of their kids, and the genuine affection between all of them is nice to see. 

[Fuzzysox]

:( On the health issues for Erin. I can't imagine these girls who's only journey in life is to get married and make as many babies that they can then they can't and it's just life altering.

[floridamom]

I sincerely hope that the Bates family and all families who interact with Erin will be supportive and TACTFUL when addressing the "baby thing" with her, especially Meeechelle Duggar. I don't know what's up with Erin and conception, I remember she miscarried an "empty sac" very early on,(?) I think, but these people are totally about reproduction and not much else after marriage. I hope Erin isn't made to feel less of a woman, Christian or human being if there is a permanent issue for her.

[Fuzzysox]

I feel bad for Erin. I really like her and think she deserves to become a mother. I hope that God will  bless them with multiple kids Erin would make a loving mother and Chad would just be so happy to become a dad.

Edited October 30, 2014 by Fuzzysox

[mimionthebeach]

So, what happens if a couple in this culture go through the whole courtship and marriage thing and then find out that the woman can't have children? With the emphasis on breeding and it being a wife's only purpose, is there a provision for a man to get out of a "barren" marriage so that he doesn't have to bear the shame of being childless? Can he return or exchange?

 

I realize my wording is reflecting my squickiness but it's a genuine question.

[ouinason]

I'm pretty sure adoption is an option if there is no way for them to have kids. I think that there are some families with adopted kids in that circle. Now whether the kids are treated the same I can't know. It really depends. There are groups that poo poo the idea of adoption, but I don't believe that this is one of them.

[andromeda331]

I've always preferred the Bateses to the Duggars -- primarily because although Gil and Kelly are obviously Quiverfull and all kinds of (IMO) crazy, they obviously love each and every one of their kids, and the genuine affection between all of them is nice to see.

 

 

I do too. Mostly because they really do seem to love their kids. I liked their old show. The kids seemed to act like kids. Also they seem to have more going on. In a mere two years they had three weddings, a courtship, the first grandchild, Erin graduated from College. The kids are allowed to have interests and do things where the Duggars aren't allowed to do anything. Then again I've always suspected the Duggars only allowed their courtships because of the Bates started getting attention from their courtships. 

I always hoped that if the Bates got enough attention from their kids going to college and graduating that maybe the Duggars would finally be allowed to go to college if they really wanted too. I'm probably wrong but it would be nice if they were allowed to do things and follow their own interests the way the Bates kids seem to be doing. 

[Ljohnson1987]

I'm sure the health issue in relation to Erin is her miscarriage. 

[Fuzzysox]

Whitney Bates is adopted. I hope that they will open their hearts to an adoption if Erin can't conceive.

[GEML]

In Gothardism, there is no adoption. It's one of the ugliest aspects of what is an already narrow minded religion. That doesn't mean Erin and her husband have to follow that rule, though.

[Darknight]

.

Whitney Bates is adopted. I hope that they will open their hearts to an adoption if Erin can't conceive.

No adoption in fundieland. Unless Erin husband is not gothard

[Spencer Hastings]

I believe Kelly Bates also has sisters that were adopted into her family, whether legally or through pure love. Her parents don't follow Gothard, though.  I wonder if that's one aspect they will pick and choose from.  

[GEML]

I hope that the newest generation discards that ugly part of Gothardism. The idea that the sins of the father are passed to the children are just ludicrous. A for people like Gil and Kelly, with Gil serving on the advisory board, to make it a point to welcome an adopted daughter- in-law gives me some hope. But an adopted grandchild would be especially lovely.

[CarolMK]

Haven't quite a few of the Duggar's friends adopted kids? One that comes to mind is the Vanderhoffs..they adopted a bunch from one of the African countries, I think. The Duggars have said now several times that they in fact are praying about adoption, though I haven't heard anything lately. I've never heard the Bates say this, and in fact I think at one point Kelly said in an interview that she thought her time of having babies was now over , or something to that effect. I don't think Michelle will ever admit that she can't have any more kids, even after she goes through menopause.