Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Katy M]

12 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Couldn’t they have let you go so you could have collected unemployment?  Horrible situation for you.

I think they get in trouble if they lay someone off to allow unemployment and then hire someone else to do the exact same job.  But, I think there should have been policies put in place for people whose circumstance wouldn't allow them to work at their jobs even if the job still existed.

[Nicmar]

On 2/2/2021 at 8:47 PM, theredhead77 said:

Glad I could help. If you have Trader Joe's near you, or Whole Foods their house lines are also cruelty free. The hardest part for me is finding companies that don't sell in China as they require all products to be tested on animals even if they are cruelty free in the states and/or Europe.

I use Not Your Mother's brand hair products, EOS shave gel, method body wash and am a big fan of the Raw Sugar Brand lip balm and lotion. They all work great for me but obviously YMMV.

 

I believe the brand NARS is made in China, for some odd reason

[WinnieWinkle]

My TV related pet peeve of the day: commercials that have doorbells in them.  I don't really clue in to commercials most of the time but at least twice today (so far) I've gotten up to go to the door only to realize "duh" the bell ringing was on the TV not at my front door.

[Growsonwalls]

I got a peeve: bathroom selfies. WHY? A friend of mine just posted THREE bathroom selfies. One has her sitting on the toilet (which she made sure to say was an expensive toilet.) Another has her making sexy faces into the mirror where you can see the big shower curtain behind her. A third has her leaning against her towel rack. Again, I take selfies too but WHY IN THE BATHROOM?

[GHScorpiosRule]

3 hours ago, Katy M said:

I think they get in trouble if they lay someone off to allow unemployment and then hire someone else to do the exact same job. 

And yet, this is something that employers do all the time. Fire someone or lay them off, and hire someone in their place. That's been my experience.

[peacheslatour]

2 hours ago, Growsonwalls said:

I got a peeve: bathroom selfies. WHY? A friend of mine just posted THREE bathroom selfies. One has her sitting on the toilet (which she made sure to say was an expensive toilet.) Another has her making sexy faces into the mirror where you can see the big shower curtain behind her. A third has her leaning against her towel rack. Again, I take selfies too but WHY IN THE BATHROOM?

Maybe the best light is in there? I don't do selfies because they're stupid but apparently some people feel driven. It's weird.

[WinnieWinkle]

11 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Maybe the best light is in there? I don't do selfies because they're stupid but apparently some people feel driven. It's weird.

A day does not go by where my niece hasn't shared at least 2 or 3 selfies on FB - probably even more on various other social media sites that I don't access.  Anyway she does bathroom selfies all the time, I am guessing because the light is good but mainly because she uses the mirror a lot.  Thankfully, so far though she hasn't treated us to any pics of herself  on the toilet!

[SoMuchTV]

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

 I don't do selfies because they're stupid ...

I don't do selfies because although I think I look fine in the mirror, I look horrible in any photo.  And that's my peeve..  What's wrong with every camera in the world?

[PRgal]

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

Maybe the best light is in there? I don't do selfies because they're stupid but apparently some people feel driven. It's weird.

I do some of my selfie videos in the bathroom - you won't know it's the bathroom since my backdrop is the bathroom door.  The lighting there is excellent during the day.   

[SuprSuprElevated]

4 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

I don't do selfies because although I think I look fine in the mirror, I look horrible in any photo.  And that's my peeve..  What's wrong with every camera in the world?

Get out of my head!

 

[Cobb Salad]

8 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

And yet, this is something that employers do all the time. Fire someone or lay them off, and hire someone in their place. That's been my experience.

Mine too.  Several years ago I was reassigned from a job that I was in for a few years to another one in a related area because they had to cut headcount for the coming year.  They hired a contractor to fill my spot (I was FTE) then the next year they hired him.  I guess I got lucky because other times they had to cut back they just showed people the door.  

About people taking selfies in the bathroom - when I used to go to the gym all the time, a couple of times I noticed someone taking selfies of themselves in the locker room which I could never figure out because the lighting wasn’t any better there than anywhere else.  

[RealHousewife]

8 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

I don't do selfies because although I think I look fine in the mirror, I look horrible in any photo.  And that's my peeve..  What's wrong with every camera in the world?

Lol! Seriously, this is why I like selfies. I too normally think I look fine in the mirror, but photos are the true test. I take pictures and can tell if I need to powder my face, my hair has gotten frizzy, whatever. I don't know why I don't notice all this stuff looking in the mirror.

[SuprSuprElevated]

17 hours ago, Growsonwalls said:

I got a peeve: bathroom selfies. WHY? A friend of mine just posted THREE bathroom selfies. One has her sitting on the toilet (which she made sure to say was an expensive toilet.) Another has her making sexy faces into the mirror where you can see the big shower curtain behind her. A third has her leaning against her towel rack. Again, I take selfies too but WHY IN THE BATHROOM?

And if not in the bathroom, in the car.

It's a mad mad world.

[Callietwo]

10 hours ago, Cobb Salad said:

About people taking selfies in the bathroom - when I used to go to the gym all the time, a couple of times I noticed someone taking selfies of themselves in the locker room which I could never figure out because the lighting wasn’t any better there than anywhere else.  

That is SUCH a violation of others that might be in the locker room.  In some gyms, using your phone to take pictures in a locker room would get you banned from the facility.  Or even criminal charges.

[WinnieWinkle]

2 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

And if not in the bathroom, in the car.

My cousin does this all the time!  She can't seem to get in the car to go to the store without letting her "audience" know about it accompanied by an extreme close up of her sitting in the car.  These pictures are not flattering to her but no one is going to tell her that!  If she's happy, why not I guess.  But I do have to wonder why people (a) post multiple times a day about the minutae of their lives, and (b) post pictures that do them no favours.  

[auntlada]

40 minutes ago, WinnieWinkle said:

My cousin does this all the time!  She can't seem to get in the car to go to the store without letting her "audience" know about it accompanied by an extreme close up of her sitting in the car.  These pictures are not flattering to her but no one is going to tell her that!  If she's happy, why not I guess.  But I do have to wonder why people (a) post multiple times a day about the minutae of their lives, and (b) post pictures that do them no favours.  

Or why they post pictures that say, "Hey! I'm not home right now."

[supposebly]

5 minutes ago, auntlada said:

Or why they post pictures that say, "Hey! I'm not home right now."

You'd think Google tracking would take care of that. 😉 

[peacheslatour]

19 minutes ago, auntlada said:

Or why they post pictures that say, "Hey! I'm not home right now."

Or on FB "We're going to be out of the country for two weeks, please come rob our house!"

[Mindthinkr]

19 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Or on FB "We're going to be out of the country for two weeks, please come rob our house!"

I think that and obituaries are ads for crooks that a house will be empty at such and such time, so please come help yourself to all my valuables. We always have a family friend stay at the home to set up, heat foods if necessary and have a presence when the family is at a wake or funeral. 

[auntlada]

17 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

I think that and obituaries are ads for crooks that a house will be empty at such and such time, so please come help yourself to all my valuables. We always have a family friend stay at the home to set up, heat foods if necessary and have a presence when the family is at a wake or funeral. 

I have heard since I was a child that weddings and funerals were prime opportunities for burglars, especially weddings in areas where the bride's family displayed gifts in the home for people to see before the wedding. (I swear that was a thing. I don't know if it still is.) People who did that got a family friend to stay in the house during the wedding.

[WinnieWinkle]

2 minutes ago, auntlada said:

(I swear that was a thing. I don't know if it still is.)

Probably stop being a thing when most people started giving money as gifts instead of actual items.  I know some people still give a toaster or whatever but most weddings I've been to now seem to have the bridal shower as the time for giving from a gift registry and the wedding as the time for cheques.  Which brings me to my wedding pet peeve: when did it become common for a shower gift to be Major Present Time??  I don't want to seem ungenerous but if I'm expected to come up with a nice cheque for the wedding I certainly don't think I should also be expected to give a $400 food processor as a shower gift!

[BooksRule]

19 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

...I look horrible in any photo.  And that's my peeve..  What's wrong with every camera in the world?

I know!  I hate being in photos because if I have to smile it looks strained and fake.  I did learn something one time (maybe everyone else knows this tip, but I didn't)--a friend told me that if you just smile the biggest fakest smile you can (and you really feel foolish while you're doing it), photos usually come out with a reasonable-looking smile. As long as you don't have the crazy eyes at the same time. A few years ago I took the best photo of my life when I renewed my driver's license.  I was amazed and was very unhappy when I had to renew and have a new photo taken. 

My peeve for today: oranges that won't peel, but only allow you to take off the rind in tiny little bits. (This had better be one good-tasting orange when I finish peeling it!)

ETA:  The orange is pretty good.

Edited February 10, 2021 by BooksRule

[KittyMom4]

2 hours ago, WinnieWinkle said:

My cousin does this all the time!  She can't seem to get in the car to go to the store without letting her "audience" know about it accompanied by an extreme close up of her sitting in the car.  These pictures are not flattering to her but no one is going to tell her that!  If she's happy, why not I guess.  But I do have to wonder why people (a) post multiple times a day about the minutae of their lives, and (b) post pictures that do them no favours.  

We might have the same cousin. Mine posts a selfie.every.single.place.she.goes. All day. The grocery store, the post office, the dog groomer, and if it isn't a a super close-up selfie, it's a pic of whatever she did or purchased. "Mailed this package to my daugher today!" with pic of box on the post office scale. "Can't wait to make these steaks" with pic of steaks in a grocery cart, etc. 

[WinnieWinkle]

22 minutes ago, BexKeps said:

We might have the same cousin.

With the exception of the dog groomer you mention we definitely could be sharing a cousin!  Mine posts every single time she leaves her house - I really can't get through a day without knowing she stopped at Tim Horton's for a coffee on her way to Sobey's to buy groceries and from there popped into the pharmacy to pick up a prescription!  In fairness she doesn't usually post pictures of the coffee, groceries or prescription so there's that.

[peacheslatour]

Quote

 I know!  I hate being in photos because if I have to smile it looks strained and fake.  I did learn something one time (maybe everyone else knows this tip, but I didn't)--a friend told me that if you just smile the biggest fakest smile you can (and you really feel foolish while you're doing it), photos usually come out with a reasonable-looking smile.

Back in the earliest days of photography, when I was a model, we were told to smile at the camera as if it were our lover. It used to work a treat but I can never remember that admonition until the picture's already been took.

[BookWoman56]

2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Or on FB "We're going to be out of the country for two weeks, please come rob our house!"

These people are the modern equivalent of a character Agatha Christie described in one of her mysteries. I no longer remember the exact words, but it was something to the effect of a woman who would loudly tell her friend, while someplace like a grocery store, that she had certain valuables in her house but is planning on being away for a few days, all while in hearing range of the local petty thief. IIRC, the narrator commented that this character might easily end up dead because she returned early from her planned trip and interrupted the thief robbing her house. 
I have a niece by marriage who is equally idiotic about posting invitations to robbery. “We just got a new smart TV plus other big ticket items, and we’re also going on vacation starting this Saturday.” One day she’s going to come back to a robbed house or walk in on a burglary. 

[Browncoat]

3 hours ago, WinnieWinkle said:

Which brings me to my wedding pet peeve: when did it become common for a shower gift to be Major Present Time??  I don't want to seem ungenerous but if I'm expected to come up with a nice cheque for the wedding I certainly don't think I should also be expected to give a $400 food processor as a shower gift!

I feel like giving two presents is recent!  When I was in my 20s and everyone I knew was getting married, we just gave one gift per wedding.

 

My petty pet peeve for the day is the crusty bit that forms at the end of the pump on a hand lotion bottle.  It also can happen on hand soap pumps.  Wherever it is, it usually makes the lotion or soap squirt in fun and interesting directions, and I hate it.

[Hangin Out]

On 10/9/2020 at 8:55 PM, icemiser69 said:

The honest answer is when my body starts to break down.  Also when my body can't tolerate the foods I used to eat.  I have to limit my salt intake for blood pressure reasons.

Same here.  Now I have to cook the main meal for 1 pm, then something very light in the evening.  Reflux.  I love salt, but now it’s a no no.    Also, cannot open jars anymore.  Why do they make them too tight?

Edited February 10, 2021 by Silver Bells

[KittyMom4]

3 hours ago, WinnieWinkle said:

Which brings me to my wedding pet peeve: when did it become common for a shower gift to be Major Present Time??  I don't want to seem ungenerous but if I'm expected to come up with a nice cheque for the wedding I certainly don't think I should also be expected to give a $400 food processor as a shower gift!

Omfg, yes! And please don't invite me to the bridal shower unless I am your family member (within one generation) or close friend. I hate getting invited to showers when I barely know the bride and I'm expected to spend $$$, it's very gift-grabby to me. 

44 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

I feel like giving two presents is recent!  When I was in my 20s and everyone I knew was getting married, we just gave one gift per wedding.

Yep, These whippersnappers have bridal showers, bachlorette weekends, spa days, etc. My daughter was in a wedding where she was expected to contribute and take part in all of these things, in the end with the bridesmaid dress and all that stuff she probably spent close to $1,000. What a waste.

44 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

My petty pet peeve for the day is the crusty bit that forms at the end of the pump on a hand lotion bottle.  It also can happen on hand soap pumps.  Wherever it is, it usually makes the lotion or soap squirt in fun and interesting directions, and I hate it.

We call them "lotion boogers" in my house.

Edited February 10, 2021 by BexKeps
too many nnn's

[Hangin Out]

Never mind .. too depressing.

[Bastet]

17 minutes ago, BexKeps said:

Yep, These whippersnappers have bridal showers, bachlorette weekends, spa days, etc. My daughter was in a wedding where she was expected to contribute and take part in all of these things, in the end with the bridesmaid dress and all that stuff she probably spent close to $1,000. What a waste.

Some of you probably have painful memories of the six months I spent complaining about being a maid of honor, but at least my friend was not a greedy asshole about gifts, and didn't make being a member of the wedding party a big expense. 

Her husband wanted to create a gift registry (where, I do not know), and she shut that down immediately - they were in their 40s and 50s and already owned a house filled with two of everything.  No gifts, period, but certainly no asking for specific things.

I got to pick my dress (she picked the color [unfortunately], but I got to pick the style), and that was my only expense.  The rehearsal dinner was hosted, as was the spa day.  She paid for the hair stylist and make-up artist.  No shower, no bachelorette party.

I think all that went into even that comparatively low-key production was ridiculous, but at least they understood it was their production, not something participants or guests should be asked to help fund. 

[Quof]

26 minutes ago, BexKeps said:

Omfg, yes! And please don't invite me to the bridal shower unless I am your family member (within one generation) or close friend. I hate getting invited to showers when I barely know the bride and I'm expected to spend $$$, it's very gift-grabby to me. 

In my day (shut up, I'm old), showers were for practical things to set up housekeeping.   Wedding gifts were fancier, and less practical (I didn't ever see a registry).  My aunt always gave the best shower gift - 2 or 3 really good quality laundry baskets, big Costco size containers of laundry detergent (regular, delicate), fabric softener,stain remover etc, a folding drying rack and clothes pins.  Cuz who couldn't use that?  And don't you hate to buy it yourself?

[Hangin Out]

6 minutes ago, Quof said:

In my day (shut up, I'm old), showers were for practical things to set up housekeeping.   Wedding gifts were fancier, and less practical (I didn't ever see a registry).  My aunt always gave the best shower gift - 2 or 3 really good quality laundry baskets, big Costco size containers of laundry detergent (regular, delicate), fabric softener,stain remover etc, a folding drying rack and clothes pins.  Cuz who couldn't use that?  And don't you hate to buy it yourself?

Geeze.  How I miss my clothesline and clothes pins.  I had no dryer for the first five years, and I washed and ironed mu husbands shirts .. with spray starch.  Diapers came off the line stiff in the winter.  

[peacheslatour]

28 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Geeze.  How I miss my clothesline and clothes pins.  I had no dryer for the first five years, and I washed and ironed mu husbands shirts .. with spray starch.  Diapers came off the line stiff in the winter.  

I had a washer and dryer but I still used to do things like sheets, pillow cases and towels on the line. Nothing smells as good as fresh sheets dried in the sun.

[auntlada]

4 hours ago, BooksRule said:

I know!  I hate being in photos because if I have to smile it looks strained and fake.  I did learn something one time (maybe everyone else knows this tip, but I didn't)--a friend told me that if you just smile the biggest fakest smile you can (and you really feel foolish while you're doing it), photos usually come out with a reasonable-looking smile. As long as you don't have the crazy eyes at the same time.

I tried that once. I don't think I had crazy eyes, but maybe I did because the photo was horrible. My smile looked weird and awful. It was one of the worst photos I've ever taken. I find my best picture smile is a slight smile that makes the photographer keep telling me to smile. That's a photo peeve for me. I get my face set the way I know I want to look in the photo, and I'm not changing it, but the photographer keeps saying, "Smile! It's not that bad," or trying to get me to talk, which is just going to mess up the photo.

3 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

These people are the modern equivalent of a character Agatha Christie described in one of her mysteries. I no longer remember the exact words, but it was something to the effect of a woman who would loudly tell her friend, while someplace like a grocery store, that she had certain valuables in her house but is planning on being away for a few days, all while in hearing range of the local petty thief. IIRC, the narrator commented that this character might easily end up dead because she returned early from her planned trip and interrupted the thief robbing her house.

I want to say that was in "The Mirror Crack'd" when Miss Marple was talking about the woman who died. She said the woman was like the woman who talked too much with no regard for who was around her because she only ever saw things as they related to her (or something like that). I might be wrong about the book, though, as I've read all of them numerous times. It was definitely Miss Marple talking, though.

[Kelly]

6 hours ago, auntlada said:

I have heard since I was a child that weddings and funerals were prime opportunities for burglars, especially weddings in areas where the bride's family displayed gifts in the home for people to see before the wedding. (I swear that was a thing. I don't know if it still is.) People who did that got a family friend to stay in the house during the wedding.

It’s definitely a thing (still is)...my mom did it for me/my sisters.  She set up the buffet and side table in her formal dining room, and when the gifts started coming in...they were opened, information logged in a little book for thank you notes, and then the gifts were displayed artfully w candles, fresh flowers etc  During this time, my moms friends would come over for coffee/cake, and look at the gifts/talk about them.  😂 

[peacheslatour]

9 minutes ago, Kelly said:

It’s definitely a thing (still is)...my mom did it for me/my sisters.  She set up the buffet and side table in her formal dining room, and when the gifts started coming in...they were opened, information logged in a little book for thank you notes, and then the gifts were displayed artfully w candles, fresh flowers etc  During this time, my moms friends would come over for coffee/cake, and look at the gifts/talk about them.  😂 

I thought they only did that in movies from the fifties. Cool. But I bet she didn't put it out on social media.

[Kelly]

7 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I thought they only did that in movies from the fifties. Cool. But I bet she didn't put it out on social media.

No, thank goodness!  No social media back then (I got married in the early 90s).

Edited February 10, 2021 by Kelly

[peacheslatour]

11 minutes ago, Kelly said:

No, thank goodness!  No social media back then (I got married in the early 90s).

I just remember it from the Father of the Bride movie with Elizabeth Taylor and Spencer Tracy.

[Bastet]

15 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I thought they only did that in movies from the fifties.

Same here (well, '40s -- I've never seen it done in real life, so it just makes me think of a scene in The Philadelphia Story).

[BookWoman56]

 

Quote

I want to say that was in "The Mirror Crack'd" when Miss Marple was talking about the woman who died. She said the woman was like the woman who talked too much with no regard for who was around her because she only ever saw things as they related to her (or something like that). I might be wrong about the book, though, as I've read all of them numerous times. It was definitely Miss Marple talking, though.

I think you’re absolutely right. Not sure if this was about the same woman who died, but Miss Marple described her as someone who would show up with a caraway seed cake to welcome new neighbors, completely oblivious to the fact that many people can’t stand the taste of caraway seeds. 
 

On the topic of wedding gifts, I feel that either a nice wedding present or shower gift is fine, but I would never feel compelled to buy both. I fail to understand the mindset of people who spend thousands or tens of thousands of dollars on weddings, when that money could be used for a down payment on a house or as an emergency fund. Some of the wedding stories I have seen online horrify me; let’s just say that anyone who informs me that a gift that costs less than $400 is unacceptable will not be receiving a gift at all. Back when I got married the first time, there were gifts from a few elderly family members on fixed incomes, and I understood that their inexpensive gifts were just as meaningful as more expensive gifts from others, if not more so because they had very limited funds and yet chose to send a gift. I can’t imagine feeling so entitled as to set a threshold of how much a gift must have cost to be willing to accept it. 

[peacheslatour]

11 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Same here (well, '40s -- I've never seen it done in real life, so it just makes me think of a scene in The Philadelphia Story).

Oh yeah, that's right. I love that movie.

[Bastet]

15 minutes ago, BookWoman56 said:

Some of the wedding stories I have seen online horrify me; let’s just say that anyone who informs me that a gift that costs less than $400 is unacceptable will not be receiving a gift at all.

Wow - $400?!  I can't remember the last wedding gift I gave - I don't go to many weddings to begin with (and I don't send a gift if I'm not going), and the last few were all for people who requested "no gifts, please" on their invitations - but I probably spent around $100. 

Curious, I just asked Google how much one should spend on a wedding gift, and this was the first result:

Quote

The average wedding gift amount hovers right around $100, which is a great place to start, and you can increase or decrease that based on how close you are. If you're very close or related to the couple (and have the wiggle room in your budget), you may choose to spend more—about $150 per guest (or $200 from a couple).

That sounds perfectly reasonable to me.  Those "anything less than $400 is unacceptable" people are crazy!  And total assholes.

[WinnieWinkle]

12 minutes ago, Bastet said:

That sounds perfectly reasonable to me.  Those "anything less than $400 is unacceptable" people are crazy!  And total assholes.

I notice a fair number of news stories about "bridezillas" (have to admit over usage of that term is a pet peeve of mine!!) who expect their guests to spend ridiculous amounts on gifts - one story even claiming that a bride-to-be provided a tiered menu that meant the more you spent on the gift the better the meal that you got at the wedding!  But I have some reservations about how true many of these stories actually are - they just seem to good to be true - but then I guess there really are some terrible people out there so who knows!

 

Edited February 11, 2021 by WinnieWinkle

[bilgistic]

This conversation is timely because my coworker/friend has been asked to be a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding. She's a lesbian and is seriously dreading all the Southern heteropatriarchal traditions. Her (conservative) brother and his fiancee are getting married in some cave in Kentucky in October (so, you know, when it'll still be pandemicking) and it's going to be so ridiculously over the top. I think weddings are generally atrocious and I'm straight, so I feel really bad for her. I wish I could go support her in person.

[RealHousewife]

Greediness & stinginess are both major pet peeves of mine.

Those folks mentioned above who expect extravagant gifts from everyone are assholes. I agree with the person that sometimes smaller gifts mean even more if they're from folks who don't have lots of money to throw around. Some of my favorite gifts ever were dear to me just because they were from people who were super special, the gifts were totally unexpected, or just really thoughtful. For me it's never been what's cost the most. 

I also find cheapskates really unattractive, especially when they expect generosity from others. If you're frugal, that's different. I'm referring to those who like for others to cover their share at restaurants, constantly borrow money and never pay anyone back, eat more than anyone else in the office but never bring anything in, not very becoming. 

[SuprSuprElevated]

20 hours ago, BexKeps said:

We might have the same cousin. Mine posts a selfie.every.single.place.she.goes. All day. The grocery store, the post office, the dog groomer, and if it isn't a a super close-up selfie, it's a pic of whatever she did or purchased. "Mailed this package to my daugher today!" with pic of box on the post office scale. "Can't wait to make these steaks" with pic of steaks in a grocery cart, etc. 

This sort of photo journaling of one's (mundane) life is truly a phenomenon to me.  I can't decide if it's arrogance, or some sort of weird response to a lack of self-esteem.  Either way, it's going to cause me eye problems, due to the severe eye rolling it induces.

 

[KittyMom4]

15 hours ago, WinnieWinkle said:

I notice a fair number of news stories about "bridezillas" (have to admit over usage of that term is a pet peeve of mine!!)

I blame reality TV, too many brides & grooms these days feel that they are the standard by which they should live. A wedding I was invited to last year (but thankfully had to be downsized to 50 people due to covid so I didn't have to attend), the bride has been posting non-stop photos from it because "for all of you who missed it". Really? A pic of the bride & groom and few pics of the wedding party and the reception would suffice. I don't need to see all 90+ photos!

 

18 hours ago, Quof said:

In my day (shut up, I'm old), showers were for practical things to set up housekeeping.   Wedding gifts were fancier, and less practical (I didn't ever see a registry).  My aunt always gave the best shower gift - 2 or 3 really good quality laundry baskets, big Costco size containers of laundry detergent (regular, delicate), fabric softener,stain remover etc, a folding drying rack and clothes pins.  Cuz who couldn't use that?  And don't you hate to buy it yourself?

I'll sit next to you in my rocking chair @Quof! I remember those days, showers were for household type gifts, wedding gifts were finer things or cash. These days most couples have already set up a household - nothing wrong with that! - so when I'm expected to gift them a $300 ninja blender or a $250 wine cart I roll my eyes. And then I have to fork over $$$ for the wedding gift as well. Sheesh.

 

11 hours ago, bilgistic said:

heteropatriarchal traditions.

I've never heard it put that way, but that is exactly what they are and I hate them as well. All that's missing is the dowry and a cow to give to the groom....

Edited February 11, 2021 by BexKeps

[Katy M]

18 minutes ago, BexKeps said:

I blame reality TV, too many brides & grooms these days feel that they are the standard by which they should live. A wedding I was invited to last year (but thankfully had to be downsized to 50 people due to covid so I didn't have to attend), the bride has been posting non-stop photos from it because "for all of you who missed it". Really? A pic of the bride & groom and few pics of the wedding party and the reception would suffice. I don't need to see all 90+ photos!

 

I think 50-100 people is the most I would want at a wedding Covid or no.  Preferably closer to 50, but I don't know how big of a family my imaginary groom has.

I've only been a bride's maid twice and both times the bride kept the dresses down to $30 or $50.  Plus shoes, but the second dress was so close in color to the first that I got to use the same shoes again.  How lucky was that?

[peacheslatour]

54 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I think 50-100 people is the most I would want at a wedding Covid or no.  Preferably closer to 50, but I don't know how big of a family my imaginary groom has.

I've only been a bride's maid twice and both times the bride kept the dresses down to $30 or $50.  Plus shoes, but the second dress was so close in color to the first that I got to use the same shoes again.  How lucky was that?

My parents paid for all of my bridesmaids dresses. My husband's parents paid for all of the tuxes. I know not everyone can afford to do this but we felt that our friends were giving up a lot of their time, what with parties, rehearsal and the wedding itself, they shouldn't have to fork over more cash than they had to.