Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[TattleTeeny]

I feel like let the people do whatever the hell they want -- but warn others first, haha!

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

If this pandemic has any potential good, it might be that more people realize they can have a small wedding wherever the fuck they want to, and use Zoom or something similar to share the wedding ceremony with other family members/friends who can't come in person. Again, unless everyone involved has a ton of disposable income, expecting people to spend thousands of dollars to travel to a destination wedding is a jerk move. And even if everyone has the money, people shouldn't feel obligated to travel to exotic location ABC just to attend a wedding. 

Yes. This would have been so much better than what happened August 2019 --which wasn't ridiculously expensive or extravagant or anything, but this would have been better for most of the bride's family, and so would have made her happier, and she and the groom were footing the bill. Here's hoping a Zoom Wedding Element will become standard so there will be less chance of immediate family who say they are coming and don't. 

 

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

I wanted a croque en bouche instead of a "traditional" wedding cake

I had to look this up. It's lovely and festive, and much better than many wedding cakes. 

[Bastet]

On 9/9/2020 at 12:33 PM, Quof said:

I have no problem with hosts saying "no alcohol" or "no meat", for whatever reason they might have - guests can go without for one meal.  But basic hosting etiquette  = not charging your guests.

I would never not serve something - e.g. alcohol or meat - that's traditionally part of a nice dinner just because I didn't eat/drink it myself.  But I agree, FAR tackier to charge your guests for anything than to not have something available; you can schedule and structure an event so it makes sense to only serve snacks, to not have a bar, etc., but you can never justify charging your guests.

I've been to several receptions where the bride and/or groom were vegetarians, and one where both were vegans, and there were still meat options for dinner; I've never been to one where the whole menu was vegetarian.  I've only been to one reception where the bride and groom who didn't drink also didn't serve any alcohol - the reception was in the afternoon though, so it felt more natural.

Edited September 10, 2020 by Bastet

[Bastet]

5 hours ago, Katy M said:

On a related note, we got a break from it this year, but am I the only one who thinks that promposals are ridiculous?  What happened to "hey, you want to go to the prom?"  If you want to be more formal you can leave off the "hey." 😆

I forgot about this in all the wedding talk, but, no, you are not the only one.  In my day, if you were dating exclusively ("going with") someone at the time of prom, it was a given you were going together and you just discussed the logistics; there was no asking to begin with.  If you were going to ask a date or friend to go with you, yeah, it was along the lines of "Wanna go to prom?"

That doesn't mean I think there's something wrong with any sort of gesture, like giving someone flowers and asking.  But a "promposal"?  Hell, I think marriage proposals are ridiculous, so that kind of production for one teenager asking another to a school dance?!

[Trini]

4 hours ago, Quof said:

I have no problem with hosts saying "no alcohol" or "no meat", for whatever reason they might have - guests can go without for one meal.  But basic hosting etiquette  = not charging your guests. 

Doesn't the money paid go to the venue?

Edited September 9, 2020 by Trini
oy, grammar

[SuprSuprElevated]

1 hour ago, BexKeps said:

Also, in 1990 it was still pretty common that women did not hold jobs

Uh, wut?  I've been had.

[emma675]

I went to a wedding once, in the evening, where the reception had a cash bar, there were only appetizers, and the cake was so small that they ran out before everyone got a piece. Plus, the bride and groom had a "house fund"--basically a big pail where they wanted guests to deposit cash to help them pay for a down payment on their dream house. And this was a couple who was fairly well off. I didn't feel guilty when a group of us left halfway through the reception and went out to dinner (with drinks).

[SuprSuprElevated]

If I'm honest, I guess I've always felt that large weddings are simply well-dressed money grabs, and for the most part, I resent them, lol.

Mine was for family only, done for about $1000 including dress (street length, off-the-rack), flowers, cleric's graft, venue rental, hubs tie/pocket square.  First and only marriage, still going 29 yrs on.

[auntlada]

3 hours ago, Katy M said:

the other thing is though, if you have a cash bar, that's technically run by the venue.  Therefore, if one of your guests goes out and gets in an accident, you're not liable.  If you are providing the alcohol, you very may well be.  That's also not a concern with dessert or chicken.  But, basically, I fall into the no alcohol at all at my reception group.  It will be in the basement of my church so having alcohol isn't really even an option.

That's how my wedding reception was -- in the church's fellowship hall. No alcohol. For that matter, no dinner. It was an afternoon wedding with cake, punch, mints and nuts. It was what some wedding book described as an uppity Baptist wedding: You serve those things, and everyone stands around talking to the people they came with. My mother made my dress, my maid of honor maid the bridesmaids' dresses (she was a good seamstress and volunteered), my mother-in-law made the cake, and a friend of my mother's asked to make the groom's cake. The biggest expenses were probably the flowers and the photography, and they weren't that expensive.

51 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Uh, wut?  I've been had.

Me, too. I graduated college in 1990 and got a job, as I had expected to do. All my friends also got jobs (or continued their education), and most of their mothers had jobs. I've known groups of women over the years who didn't have jobs but did a lot of volunteer work in the community. They were a much higher economic class than anybody I usually hung out with.

[Quof]

My mother was employed, in the late 1960s.  I didn't realize it was weird, until I went to a friend's house after school one day and asked "Why is your mother home? Is she sick?"

[bilgistic]

1 hour ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Uh, wut?  I've been had.

Really. I was a 15-year-old girl in 1990 and had a job.

[ParadoxLost]

1 hour ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Uh, wut?  I've been had.

Yeah.  That's not true.  The highest participation rate of women in the workforce was 1999..  And every year in the 90s was higher than 2012 -2016.  I looked it up. Bureau o f Labor Statistics.

 

[SuprSuprElevated]

1 hour ago, auntlada said:

That's how my wedding reception was -- in the church's fellowship hall. No alcohol. For that matter, no dinner. It was an afternoon wedding with cake, punch, mints and nuts. It was what some wedding book described as an uppity Baptist wedding: You serve those things, and everyone stands around talking to the people they came with. My mother made my dress, my maid of honor maid the bridesmaids' dresses (she was a good seamstress and volunteered), my mother-in-law made the cake, and a friend of my mother's asked to make the groom's cake. The biggest expenses were probably the flowers and the photography, and they weren't that expensive.

Me, too. I graduated college in 1990 and got a job, as I had expected to do. All my friends also got jobs (or continued their education), and most of their mothers had jobs. I've known groups of women over the years who didn't have jobs but did a lot of volunteer work in the community. They were a much higher economic class than anybody I usually hung out with.

I was 30 in 1990, and had been working for 15 years at that point.  My mother went to work full time in 1970.

[theredhead77]

1 hour ago, emma675 said:

I went to a wedding once, in the evening, where the reception had a cash bar, there were only appetizers, and the cake was so small that they ran out before everyone got a piece. Plus, the bride and groom had a "house fund"--basically a big pail where they wanted guests to deposit cash to help them pay for a down payment on their dream house. And this was a couple who was fairly well off. I didn't feel guilty when a group of us left halfway through the reception and went out to dinner (with drinks).

Wow! That's... something. 

I've been to a handful of weddings. Some were completely dry. One did drink tickets - everyone got 2 or 3 for anything at the bar and they had a deal on drinks for anyone who wanted to keep drinking. It kept it within their budget and their guests happy.

The one that sticks out as WTF was one a few years ago, the couple wasn't 'young and struggling' but they chose a fancy venue in a popular area right before Christmas so they had holiday rates to contend with. Their bar started out open bar, but opps, just kidding. It was only supposed to be open bar for the wedding party. And oh! They don't take cash! So a bunch of guests got a couple drinks for free, others were charged then everyone was charged and others didn't bring a card and couldn't drink without getting spotted. It was a cluster. Then they forgot to call the tables in the back of the room for the buffet as others were going up for seconds. The reception room was designed in such a way, almost like an L shape that the back of the room literally couldn't see the wedding party or anything. That's where the coworkers ended up, and I ended up at a leftover table. I had never been to a wedding before, or since, that made me feel like I was invited for the gift, not my attendance.

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

Yeah.  That's not true.  The highest participation rate of women in the workforce was 1999..  And every year in the 90s was higher than 2012 -2016.  I looked it up. Bureau o f Labor Statistics.

 

That’s what I thought.  I think they meant that it wasn’t too unusual for MARRIED women not to work.  And yeah, lots of my elementary school friends’ moms were stay-at-homes.  

[Gramto6]

My first wedding was in 1967, my family was dirt poor, my mother being the sole support of the family of 5. My husband to be had a fairly wealthy family and they paid for the wedding basically. I sewed my own gown a designer pattern. My soon to be sister in law made her own gown. Talk about awkward, my parents were divorcing at the time. I think I knew maybe 15 of the around 50 guests. They were friends of the groom's family They were Chinese so the food was yummy and since in the church no alcohol. No way my family could have afforded any of it. I paid for my dress fabric from babysitting money. 16 years and 2 kids later that marriage went down the drain...

Later, I married my 2nd husband, we married in a small chapel in the local church where he had a mountain cabin. My kids, my best friend and 3 of his best friends and one of his kids were there. It was beautiful and loving and after we kicked soccer balls all over the parking lot (we met because he was my adult women's league soccer coach). Both marriages were true and loving, you don't have to spend a fortune to get married. The getting married part is what is important.

[peacheslatour]

3 hours ago, Quof said:

My mother was employed, in the late 1960s.  I didn't realize it was weird, until I went to a friend's house after school one day and asked "Why is your mother home? Is she sick?"

My mom worked from the time I was about 7. She owned 2 popular boutiques and I was very proud of her. The worst was the neighborhood mom's who used ask " But who takes care of you and your daddy, honey?"

[Annber03]

Just now, peacheslatour said:

My mom worked from the time I was about 7. She owned 2 popular boutiques and I was very proud of her. The worst was the neighborhood mom's who used ask " But who takes care of you and your daddy, honey?"

My mom got a bit of that from some of her co-workers, too. They seemed surprised that my dad would stay home and take care of me (and later, my sister), during the day while my mom was working, or would go grocery shopping for us, or do other things of that sort. And that was in the 1980s. 

 

[Gramto6]

My dad was an alcoholic, I loved him dearly but he did not/could not contribute to the family income on a regular basis. Basically my mom  was the sole support of the family. Back in those days 50's & early 60's a woman supporting the family was very unusual. I give her every hurrah I can for her supporting us 3 kids. She had her flaws but she did her darndest to see we had food and care.

[Annber03]

Yeah, my grandmothers were very involved in running their households, too. My dad was just eight years old when he lost his father, so his mom had no choice but to take care of everything (and as my dad got older, he did his part to help out and would handle his own stuff as well). And with my mom's parents, my grandpa was a truck driver and on the road for weeks at a time, so my grandma went out and got her own job as well, to help keep things running back home. She controlled the family finances in general, really. 

Edited September 10, 2020 by Annber03

[KittyMom4]

11 hours ago, PRgal said:

That’s what I thought.  I think they meant that it wasn’t too unusual for MARRIED women not to work.  And yeah, lots of my elementary school friends’ moms were stay-at-homes.  

Sorry, didn't mean to offend, I was also working when I got married, and have continued to do so this day, my comment was to point out that at that time, many women who were married weren't working the high paying jobs, most of the women I knew were working full time but could not afford to fund a BWW with all the fanfare.  Today women have better jobs than were available in 1990 and more can afford to do so, which is why I disagree with the parents having to pay.

Edited September 10, 2020 by BexKeps
better explanation

[Blergh]

Mechanics who quote a price for 'all the work' THEN say they 'found something else' that had to be fixed- and tack that extra stuff on!  How can they give an estimate for 'all the work' when they haven't even opened up a compartment to see what it was BEFORE they find that 'something else'?! ARGGHH!!! BOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cobb Salad]

1 hour ago, Blergh said:

Mechanics who quote a price for 'all the work' THEN say they 'found something else' that had to be fixed- and tack that extra stuff on!  How can they give an estimate for 'all the work' when they haven't even opened up a compartment to see what it was BEFORE they find that 'something else'?! ARGGHH!!! BOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’d like to add dental procedures on to that as well.  If it has a CPT/ICD whatever code attached to it the insurance company has a set $ amount to it per those codes ... why the actual cost and what they’d cover per the coverage is different (and results in the insured paying more in the end) than the initial estimate they provided is a mystery.  

[PRgal]

7 hours ago, BexKeps said:

Sorry, didn't mean to offend, I was also working when I got married, and have continued to do so this day, my comment was to point out that at that time, many women who were married weren't working the high paying jobs, most of the women I knew were working full time but could not afford to fund a BWW with all the fanfare.  Today women have better jobs than were available in 1990 and more can afford to do so, which is why I disagree with the parents having to pay.

That's true.  My mom was lucky to be working in IT and in a managerial position at that time.  She's still fairly tech-savvy for someone her age.

[Nicmar]

18 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

My first wedding was in 1967, my family was dirt poor, my mother being the sole support of the family of 5. My husband to be had a fairly wealthy family and they paid for the wedding basically. I sewed my own gown a designer pattern. My soon to be sister in law made her own gown. Talk about awkward, my parents were divorcing at the time. I think I knew maybe 15 of the around 50 guests. They were friends of the groom's family They were Chinese so the food was yummy and since in the church no alcohol. No way my family could have afforded any of it. I paid for my dress fabric from babysitting money. 16 years and 2 kids later that marriage went down the drain...

Later, I married my 2nd husband, we married in a small chapel in the local church where he had a mountain cabin. My kids, my best friend and 3 of his best friends and one of his kids were there. It was beautiful and loving and after we kicked soccer balls all over the parking lot (we met because he was my adult women's league soccer coach). Both marriages were true and loving, you don't have to spend a fortune to get married. The getting married part is what is important.

My husband and I married in 1997 by the justice of the peace. We didn't tell anyone, I wore a white dress from Mervyns . We have been married for 23 years no kids because we don't want any.

[peacheslatour]

24 minutes ago, Nicmar said:

My husband and I married in 1997 by the justice of the peace. We didn't tell anyone, I wore a white dress from Mervyns . We have been married for 23 years no kids because we don't want any.

My parents paid for our wedding because we didn't care about a church wedding and they did. My dress was $150.00, probably the most expensive part of the wedding. They also paid for our honeymoon, which was only 3 days long because we both worked in our respective family business' and they wouldn't give us more time off. We would have been happy with a justice of the peace but the wedding was very pretty and I don't regret that my whole family were there and it was a fun day.

[Bastet]

59 minutes ago, Nicmar said:

I wore a white dress from Mervyns

Ah, good ol' Mervyn's; it was my go-to store for basics when I was in college.  I found some cute household stuff there, too.

Edited September 10, 2020 by Bastet

[MargeGunderson]

Mr Gunderson and I eloped 20 years ago next month. We got married in New Hampshire because it was close by and didn’t require witnesses. We chose the inn we stayed at because the innkeeper was a justice of the peace. We got married in the living room of the inn with some flowers that were left over from a previous wedding. Spent 3 days in NH and then back to work. I got my dress at Talbots, and my mom still owes me $150 for it (she said she would buy it but I should have known better). 

Edited September 10, 2020 by MargeGunderson

[SuprSuprElevated]

20 hours ago, Annber03 said:

And with my mom's parents, my grandpa was a truck driver and on the road for weeks at a time, so my grandma went out and got her own job as well, to help keep things running back home.

Sounds very much like my husbands parents.  His dad had several jobs, but the during my hubs formative years, his father was a gasoline hauler, on a regular route between Chicago and Cleveland.  His mother, even though his dad made good money, always worked.  Factory work.  From sewing in clothing manufacturing to her last job, which was operating a punch press for an automotive supplier.  She would then come home and make dinner for her family, and have it on the table by 6pm.  This was in the 50's, 60's, 70's.  She retired when her husband, my father-in-law (whom I never met), dropped dead at the dinner table at 58 yrs. old.  She was 66.  I'm not saying this was necessarily the norm, but I'm really perplexed to understand the thought that "most women didn't work in the 90's".   Now if you said that most women didn't work in their 90's, I'd definitely agree with that.

Edited September 10, 2020 by SuprSuprElevated

[shapeshifter]

I got married in a heathered dark pink dress I'd made previously to wear to church--which is where we got married--so I didn't feel right wearing it again to church afterwards.
I thought we were just going to stand up at the end of the service and get some sort of blessing and do some I-dos (I was not born into Christianity). 
But the congregation included a cake decorator, so it was a little bit of a hoopla.  And I already had 2 kids.
Anyway, I didn't wear the dress again until 10 years later when we had to go to court to get the divorce finalized, after which I gave the dress away.
I wish I still had it. 
The dress.
Not the husband. 

Edited September 12, 2020 by shapeshifter

[Cobb Salad]

11 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

I'm not saying this was necessarily the norm, but I'm really perplexed to understand the thought that "most women didn't work in the 90's".   Now if you said that most women didn't work in their 90's, I'd definitely agree with that.

Something I’ve observed is any time there’s a news article about someone in their 90s going to work every day without fail for over 70 years or something it always seemed that it was a man so I’m with you on your observation about working women in their 90s.

[BooksRule]

I can't comment much on weddings (never had one myself, was a bridesmaid for one, and attended several others--none considered 'fancy'), but I'll put my two cents in about waste disposal and trash pickup.  I'm lucky that I live in an area where you can put just about anything out at the curb where it will either be picked up by the regular trash pickup people or by a 'picker' that usually makes the rounds on the weekend (our trash pickup is on Mondays). There's no extra charge for 'extra' trash. I've seen mountains of cut limbs and bags of grass clippings, etc. at the curb and they usually get picked up unless it's after a storm when it might take a couple of weeks.  Almost every other type of 'stuff' that gets put at the curb gets taken by somebody, too. I put a microwave out there one day (definitely didn't work) and it was gone in less than an hour. An ugly loveseat was gone before dawn the next day. I put an old rolling desk chair with a torn seat out one time and happened to look out to see the man across the street walk over and push it back to his house.  I was surprised, though, that the time I put out the 20 gallon aquarium (no leaks) and the aquarium stand (solid wood, but had a few carpenter bee holes because it had been stored on the back patio) no one picked them up.  They sat until the regular trash pick up that week. I think the only things that won't get picked up (because you aren't supposed to put them out there anyway) are tires and hazardous waste (gasoline, oil, paint, etc.).  You're supposed to take that stuff to the once-a-month drop-off spot. However, I do have a peeve with the yard trash pick-up. If you have more than just a few limbs (a handful), they use the big 'claw' that reaches down and picks up the limbs and puts them in the truck.  However, when they do, it just gouges the heck out of the lawn near the curb.  I've started just putting out a few limbs at a time so I can preserve what little grass I have. 

[BookWoman56]

On 9/9/2020 at 5:03 PM, auntlada said:

That's how my wedding reception was -- in the church's fellowship hall. No alcohol. For that matter, no dinner. It was an afternoon wedding with cake, punch, mints and nuts. It was what some wedding book described as an uppity Baptist wedding: You serve those things, and everyone stands around talking to the people they came with. My mother made my dress, my maid of honor maid the bridesmaids' dresses (she was a good seamstress and volunteered), my mother-in-law made the cake, and a friend of my mother's asked to make the groom's cake. The biggest expenses were probably the flowers and the photography, and they weren't that expensive.

That's pretty much how my first wedding reception went, except it was evening and no dinner. In my part of the country, at that time, dinner at a wedding reception just wasn't a thing. My mother worked at an upscale women's clothing store, which was one of maybe two stores in town that routinely carried wedding dresses and bridesmaids' dresses. She bought my wedding dress and paid for the bridesmaid dresses for my sister and my cousin; the MOH and another bridesmaid paid for their own dresses, but at a discounted price. I deliberately chose dresses that didn't look like traditional bridesmaid dresses and could be repurposed; the mother of one bridesmaid in fact called my mother a couple of months later to express her appreciation that she'd been able to take her daughter's bridesmaid dress, have a bit of beading/braid added to the neckline, and repurpose it for a country club dance. We had the wedding cake made by a one-person cake shop; my mother's friends made the punch and mints, and another friend made the groom's cake. We just bought the nuts and served coffee and tea in addition to the punch. (Again, this was fairly common at that time. My mother and her friends had helped each other out over the years making punch, mints, finger sandwiches, etc., for graduation teas and other relatively small parties.)

In retrospect, while it wasn't that expensive, it was still a bit OTT for my own personal preferences and was done to accommodate my parents'  and the in-laws' wishes. My second wedding was much more low key, done at my parents' house. I've been divorced for a long time now and can't envision ever getting married again, but if that were to happen, it would be a courthouse ceremony in everyday clothes, no guests, no reception, etc., because I have neither the energy nor the inclination to plan a "wedding" at this point in my life. Much of my annoyance when watching the wedding-related AITA videos was how often the couple wanted something low key but the parents insisted on a big blow-out, and how often the couple and their family members turned into complete jerks because they've been brainwashed by the wedding industry and others that things must be a certain way or else the wedding doesn't count. Literally, telling a bridesmaid she has to dye her hair so that the bride is the only person in the wedding party who has blonde hair, etc., or that while everyone else can bring a plus one, cousin Joe can't bring his same-sex partner because not everyone knows he's gay and we can't have any distractions from the couple, in case the homophobic members of the extended family choose that moment to throw a hissy fit over cousin Joe's sexual orientation. That's in addition to the ones in which the couple/parents insist that wedding guests "must" give gifts equal or greater in value to the cost per person of the event. In roughly 95% of those videos, I'd have told the parents and/or the couple that I would not be attending if I had to jump through their insane hoops. Watching those videos and reading the comments about them have convinced me that far from being a nice event with family and friends to celebrate a couple getting married, entirely too many weddings bring out the absolute worst BSC and entitled behavior that one can imagine. 

Edited September 11, 2020 by BookWoman56

[SuprSuprElevated]

11 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

another friend made the groom's cake

I can honestly say that I had never even heard of such a thing until I watched the film Steel Magnolias, and the Julia Roberts character talked about her husband's Aunt Fern, who always made an Armadillo groom's cake.  Shirley McClaine's character said it 'looked like an autopsy', lol.  I haven't been to a ton of weddings in my life, but I have never been to one with a groom's cake that I recall.

[PRgal]

My parents married in the early 70s in Hong Kong.  Dinner receptions were most certainly a "thing" there (still is), and was the typical multi-course Chinese banquet (it's funny, the (colloquial) term for a banquet is "hui yum" (go drink)).  I don't know if they had any alcohol beyond wine.  Open bars probably weren't a thing there back then.

 

New pet peeve:  Perhaps I'm just sensitive, but I follow a body image/size diversity activist on social media and she often complains about fitness schemes.  As someone who works with a trainer (not right now, but I WILL be going back soon.  Meanwhile, I've been working out at home), I find it a little offensive.  It's as if what I do, especially to help with my stress levels, is "wrong" and that my so-called "eating well" (sort of a hybrid of the "Mediterranean" and "Okinawa" diets considered "dieting."  

[BookWoman56]

42 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

I can honestly say that I had never even heard of such a thing until I watched the film Steel Magnolias, and the Julia Roberts character talked about her husband's Aunt Fern, who always made an Armadillo groom's cake.  Shirley McClaine's character said it 'looked like an autopsy', lol. 

Can't remember if the movie explained the function of the groom's cake, but it's essentially just an alternative to the wedding cake. The groom's cake might be chocolate or some other type of cake that isn't as bland as the wedding cake. I've been to weddings where the groom's cake was chocolate (as it was for mine), strawberry, or something like Italian creme cake. I have never IRL seen anything resembling the armadillo groom's cake. 

[shapeshifter]

48 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

12 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

another friend made the groom's cake

I can honestly say that I had never even heard of such a thing until I watched the film Steel Magnolias, and the Julia Roberts character talked about her husband's Aunt Fern, who always made an Armadillo groom's cake.  Shirley McClaine's character said it 'looked like an autopsy', lol.  I haven't been to a ton of weddings in my life, but I have never been to one with a groom's cake that I recall.

1 minute ago, BookWoman56 said:

Can't remember if the movie explained the function of the groom's cake, but it's essentially just an alternative to the wedding cake. The groom's cake might be chocolate or some other type of cake that isn't as bland as the wedding cake. I've been to weddings where the groom's cake was chocolate (as it was for mine), strawberry, or something like Italian creme cake. I have never IRL seen anything resembling the armadillo groom's cake. 

Put me down as someone who has never before heard of a groom's cake (didn't see the movie either).
But if I had a choice, the groom's cake sounds way better.

 

[shapeshifter]

43 minutes ago, PRgal said:

New pet peeve:  Perhaps I'm just sensitive, but I follow a body image/size diversity activist on social media and she often complains about fitness schemes.  As someone who works with a trainer (not right now, but I WILL be going back soon.  Meanwhile, I've been working out at home), I find it a little offensive.  It's as if what I do, especially to help with my stress levels, is "wrong" and that my so-called "eating well" (sort of a hybrid of the "Mediterranean" and "Okinawa" diets considered "dieting."

Living in a society /country with so many brands of so many foods, even when shopping at a small grocery store or at a small Target, just making selections is a kind of "diet," whether it be low-sugar, or low-fat, or low-price, or mostly chocolate. 

But, yeah, we all type stuff online without knowing how it will be interpreted. I would guess if you are not alone in being offended, there will be plenty of others chiming in online, even if you don't feel like risking being the first. 

Edited September 11, 2020 by shapeshifter

[emma675]

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

she often complains about fitness scheme

Maybe she's referring to mlm fitness schemes like Beach Body or even Plexus? I would complain about those.

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

Put me down as someone who has never before heard of a groom's cake (didn't see the movie either).
But if I had a choice, the groom's cake sounds way better.

 

If I had my wedding to do over I would have had German Chocolate or Black Forest cake instead of that insipid whited tiered thing I had. And I would have worn the red dress I wanted. 

[Bastet]

6 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

I can honestly say that I had never even heard of such a thing until I watched the film Steel Magnolias,

Same here; I've never been to a reception that had a groom's cake, and the only time I'd ever heard of one was in the film*, so I thought it was a southern thing (since I've never been to a wedding in the South).

*I love when Ouiser serves Drum the butt and tail of the armadillo cake ("Thanks, Ouiser, nothin' like a good piece of ass"). 

Quote

Can't remember if the movie explained the function of the groom's cake, but it's essentially just an alternative to the wedding cake. The groom's cake might be chocolate or some other type of cake that isn't as bland as the wedding cake.

Why are people serving bland cake?  Why not just get a good cake - they're usually tiered, so you can already have at least two flavors.

Now that I've read the explanation of a groom's cake, I'm peeved - why is the "good" cake credited to the groom?

Edited September 12, 2020 by Bastet

[PRgal]

48 minutes ago, emma675 said:

Maybe she's referring to mlm fitness schemes like Beach Body or even Plexus? I would complain about those.

No.  It was about losing weight because she’s a size activist.  She shouldn’t shame people who want to lose weight.  She always seems to imply that people should be happy the way they are.  I mean, I’m skinny, but want to look more toned (and without all those gross, super-sweet protein powders).  Am I not allowed to?  
 

38 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Same here; I've never been to a reception that had a groom's cake, and the only time I'd ever heard of one was in the film*, so I thought it was a southern thing (since I've never been to a wedding in the South).

*I love when Ouiser serves Drum the butt and tail of the armadillo cake ("Thanks, Ouiser, nothin' like a good piece of ass"). 

Why are people serving bland cake?  Why not just get a good cake - they're usually layered, so you can already have at least two flavors.

Now that I've read the explanation of a groom's cake, I'm peeved - why is the "good" cake credited to the groom?

The groom’s cake is the “better” one?  And my cake wasn’t bland at all. I had both chocolate and vanilla tiers (though vanilla buttercream - on the outside, anyway). 

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

Now that I've read the explanation of a groom's cake, I'm peeved - why is the "good" cake credited to the groom?

Indeed! Reading here for my first time about tasty chocolate Groom's Cake (maybe with ice cream or whipped cream frosting?) I feel like we've been robbed. 

 

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

If I had my wedding to do over I would have had German Chocolate or Black Forest cake instead of that insipid whited tiered thing I had. And I would have worn the red dress I wanted.

I find a measure of comfort imagining that there are infinite alternate universes where this and all those other missed opportunities happened.
Some might think this just feeds my should've/could've/would've thinking.
Regardless, this week I heard an interview with theoretical astrophysicist and author Katie Mack which included scientific explanations backing up my apparently not-so-magical alternate universes. 
But I will still find it necessary to say "I like to imagine" the alternate universe where, for example, I had a chocolate wedding cake when I married one of several young men in the 70s when I wasn't ready to tie the knot, because people will otherwise think I have a few screws loose. 

 

[Mittengirl]

During the early days of This, my library switched from getting ebooks through CloudLibrary to Overdrive.  I understand their thinking; Overdrive works with Kindles, which CloudLibrary did not.  But I hate the switch. CloudLibrary had more books and a better app (IMO, of course.).  But my peeve is their slipshod manner of purchasing book series..  I found out the book I am currently reading is book 7 of 8.  So I go to the app to order the other ebooks, only to find out my library (or Overdrive) doesn’t have them.  I could understand only having the first few, either because you haven’t yet ordered the rest or due to lack of interest.  But why in the hell would you only have one book in the middle of a series!!??  This is not the first time I have had this issue with Overdrive, but it never happened with CloudLibrary.  I have sent several strongly worded emails to my library and have only received generic replies.  Get them all or get none, but for corn sakes do not just order one or two from the middle of the series.

[Brookside]

19 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

She bought my wedding dress and paid for the bridesmaid dresses for my sister and my cousin; the MOH and another bridesmaid paid for their own dresses, 

 Much of my annoyance when watching the wedding-related AITA videos was how often the couple wanted something low key but the parents insisted on a big blow-out, and how often the couple and their family members turned into complete jerks because they've been brainwashed by the wedding industry and others that things must be a certain way or else the wedding doesn't count. Literally, telling a bridesmaid she has to dye her hair so that the bride is the only person in the wedding party who has blonde hair, etc., or that while everyone else can bring a plus one, cousin Joe can't bring his same-sex partner because not everyone knows he's gay and we can't have any distractions from the couple, in case the homophobic members of the extended family choose that moment to throw a hissy fit over cousin Joe's sexual orientation. That's in addition to the ones in which the couple/parents insist that wedding guests "must" give gifts equal or greater in value to the cost per person of the event. In roughly 95% of those videos, I'd have told the parents and/or the couple that I would not be attending if I had to jump through their insane hoops. Watching those videos and reading the comments about them have convinced me that far from being a nice event with family and friends to celebrate a couple getting married, entirely too many weddings bring out the absolute worst BSC and entitled behavior that one can imagine. 

What are MOH, AITA and BSC?

 

[Katy M]

4 minutes ago, Brookside said:

What are MOH, AITA and BSC?

 

maid or matron of honor, am I the asshole (reddit site) and I don't know about BSC.

[Gramto6]

OK, I have had this pet peeve since I move to MT  from CA 16 years ago. I am constantly bombarded with ads for restaurants 200-400++ miles away. Popeye's. Sonic, Olive Garden. Red Lobster, etc. etc . I understand it is cheaper for them to advertise nationwide vs areas where they actually have a physical presence, but I wonder if any of them think that through. Even if I was visiting an area where there was one of  those restaurants, I would boycott them just because of the torture they put me through watching something I could never eat in my area.

[shapeshifter]

28 minutes ago, Katy M said:

33 minutes ago, Brookside said:

What are MOH, AITA and BSC?

maid or matron of honor, am I the asshole (reddit site) and I don't know about BSC.

According to The Urban Dictionary, "BSC" = "Bat Shit Crazy."

[Brookside]

I live in state that is 100% vote by mail.  Can someone explain why I (as a tax payer) am paying for the USPS to send out an oversized postcard telling us how to go about signing up to vote by mail?

[Gramto6]

I have voted by mail for years. I have gotten that card both at my PO box and at home mailbox. I registered years ago for vote by mail and have voted that way every year.

Edited September 12, 2020 by Gramto6