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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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Stay out of the TV Tropes thread if you haven't finished OITNB. Someone posted a major spoiler in there that ruined things for me. 

My peeve is that. The show has been out for less than a week. It's not necessary to start posting spoilers all over unrelated forums.

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I know it's useless; that there's NOTHING I can do about this, but dammitalltohell: GRAMMAR PEEVE!!!!😬

Constantly typing "Their" when the person CLEARLY means "They're" as in "they are."

Constantly typing 'Your" when the person OBVIOUSLY means "you're" as in "YOU ARE."

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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On 7/27/2019 at 10:16 AM, TattleTeeny said:

The damn doctor already prescribes me Ativan for a checkup so don't make me wait!

My boss gets a Xanax from her gyn, she has major issues with these appointments, I feel so bad for her.

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1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

Stay out of the TV Tropes thread if you haven't finished OITNB. Someone posted a major spoiler in there that ruined things for me. 

My peeve is that. The show has been out for less than a week. It's not necessary to start posting spoilers all over unrelated forums.

I'm about halfway through the new season of Veronica Mars on Hulu, & I've been kind of spoiled because regular news sites have been putting stories in their entertainment section with something that happens in the last episode in the headline. I haven't read any of the stories (so I'm only partially spoiled) but I don't expect to see spoilers on random sites I go to.

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I got a collection notice in the mail yesterday. My psych doc (well, the clinic, which is part of the hospital system) sent my bill (from only February!) to collections. I never got a single bill from the doctor! I am INCENSED!

It's $189. I saw that my credit score dropped 20 points(!!!) last month but didn't know why.

I had just gotten my score up to just over 700, having a perfect payment record since losing my condo 5.5 years ago.

I plan to read hospital billing the riot act tomorrow when I'm off. I hope that since it's in collections, I can at least settle it for less that I owe. That's the only good thing, since I don't have $189!

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1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I know it's useless; that there's NOTHING I can do about this, but dammitalltohell: GRAMMAR PEEVE!!!!😬

Constantly typing "Their" when the person CLEARLY means "They're" as in "they are."

Constantly typing 'Your" when the person OBVIOUSLY means "you're" as in "YOU ARE."

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you see the Friends episode when Ross took Rachel to task after she had written an 8 page letter("both sides") about those two words?  It was so funny and I was cheering him on. 
 

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1 hour ago, bilgistic said:

I got a collection notice in the mail yesterday. My psych doc (well, the clinic, which is part of the hospital system) sent my bill (from only February!) to collections. I never got a single bill from the doctor! I am INCENSED!

It's $189. I saw that my credit score dropped 20 points(!!!) last month but didn't know why.

I had just gotten my score up to just over 700, having a perfect payment record since losing my condo 5.5 years ago.

I plan to read hospital billing the riot act tomorrow when I'm off. I hope that since it's in collections, I can at least settle it for less that I owe. That's the only good thing, since I don't have $189!

Before you engage the collections agency call the doctors office and don't read them the riot act. Tell them you never received a bill, offer to pay it and ask them to tell the collections agency it was a clerical error. They can get it out of collections and off your credit report.

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3 hours ago, GaT said:

I'm about halfway through the new season of Veronica Mars on Hulu, & I've been kind of spoiled because regular news sites have been putting stories in their entertainment section with something that happens in the last episode in the headline.

Spoilers in headlines is one of my pet peeves.   I know enough to not read stories about TV shows and movies that have just come out, but sometimes big spoiler are in the headlines of stories that you can't help glance at on a computer screen or newspaper.   I remember just a few days after "Thelma and Louise" first came out I saw a headline spoiling the ending on the first page in the news section of the paper.    

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2 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I got a collection notice in the mail yesterday. My psych doc (well, the clinic, which is part of the hospital system) sent my bill (from only February!) to collections. I never got a single bill from the doctor! I am INCENSED!

It's $189. I saw that my credit score dropped 20 points(!!!) last month but didn't know why.

I had just gotten my score up to just over 700, having a perfect payment record since losing my condo 5.5 years ago.

I plan to read hospital billing the riot act tomorrow when I'm off. I hope that since it's in collections, I can at least settle it for less that I owe. That's the only good thing, since I don't have $189!

I’ve had similar experiences, not necessarily having the first notification be from a collections agency, but several times my first statement from a hospital or other healthcare provider shows that my account is 90 days old or something, which is apparently how long it takes for the insurance paperwork to be processed, the insurance company to roll the dice on how much of the total amount they are going to pay, and then the healthcare provider to send a bill for the balance. Annoying as fuck. 

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2 hours ago, AnnaCody said:

Did you see the Friends episode when Ross took Rachel to task after she had written an 8 page letter("both sides") about those two words?  It was so funny and I was cheering him on. 
 

159B8FB8-F13A-40B3-9B8E-0B3A3B341417.png.66d71681af13ba83ba1cd9b6b340b7ae.png

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DAMMIT. They won’t refund the towing charge. Because while my lease stated the correct permit number, Athe permit I actually was given was one that the property never used. So because my lease had the correct one, clearly it’s my fault that I didn’t actually have it.

To be honest, when I moved here, I was a mess. Just getting out of an abusive situation, and just so glad I was free that I didn’t pay attention to the permit design or number. Just stuck it on my car. Then six months later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and dealing with the surgery and chemo and asshole boss who fired me after chemo was done. I just took it for granted everything was in order.

So l’m going to try one more thing-write to the corporate office, explaining the situation, PLUS, the fact that there are other tenants who were also given the wrong permits.

I doubt it will do much good, but at least I will have done everything to get my money back.

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(edited)
3 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

DAMMIT. They won’t refund the towing charge. Because while my lease stated the correct permit number, Athe permit I actually was given was one that the property never used. So because my lease had the correct one, clearly it’s my fault that I didn’t actually have it.

To be honest, when I moved here, I was a mess. Just getting out of an abusive situation, and just so glad I was free that I didn’t pay attention to the permit design or number. Just stuck it on my car. Then six months later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and dealing with the surgery and chemo and asshole boss who fired me after chemo was done. I just took it for granted everything was in order.

So l’m going to try one more thing-write to the corporate office, explaining the situation, PLUS, the fact that there are other tenants who were also given the wrong permits.

I doubt it will do much good, but at least I will have done everything to get my money back.

When I read your story it all came into play when you said you had new mgmt. That was my experience at one time. It made me question my sanity. 

To cut to the chase I found emails and any written records valuable. While our hardships were different (they promised new floors and paint) I like you was relentless with scanned documents and maintained all emails. That’s key- stay off the phone and put it in writing. You can and will prevail. 

Logic dictates six years no problems- but just like a job- everything can change with new management. But paper trail them and you’ll win. 

 If you had the right /wrong/maybe permit It doesn’t matter and parked home all those years it was fine- be relentless. 

I wish we you nothing but good health and happiness.  Life can really knock us when we need it not to.  

Edited by KnoxForPres
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9 hours ago, KnoxForPres said:

When I read your story it all came into play when you said you had new mgmt. That was my experience at one time. It made me question my sanity. 

To cut to the chase I found emails and any written records valuable. While our hardships were different (they promised new floors and paint) I like you was relentless with scanned documents and maintained all emails. That’s key- stay off the phone and put it in writing. You can and will prevail. 

Logic dictates six years no problems- but just like a job- everything can change with new management. But paper trail them and you’ll win. 

 If you had the right /wrong/maybe permit It doesn’t matter and parked home all those years it was fine- be relentless. 

I wish we you nothing but good health and happiness.  Life can really knock us when we need it not to.  

Thanks. And I'm one of those that keeps everything! I've got ALL emails saved; all paperwork saved. Hell, I still have my welcome packet that includes the temporary parking tag they gave me.

So I'll be contacting Corporate during my lunch hour today.

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On 7/23/2019 at 9:20 AM, shapeshifter said:

Sure. And they might be commuting in their bike outfits. But there is a bike trail running parallel to the road just one block over. So annoying!

My issue with bike riders on the roads is that, in my experience, they do not obey traffic laws. Over the past 25 years, I can easily say that I can count on *one hand* the number of cyclists I've seen who have stopped at stop signs and/or red lights. They usually just coast through the intersections. 

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This may be mean and petty and childish and immature of me, but I don't care. I wrote a full two-page letter, documenting everything, and also including the facts about the rash of thefts and vandalism that have taken place over the past three years, the latest which happened to me, and the property couldn't do anything, and which led to me having to purchase a new vehicle. Also how they had towed me last year because PEPCO needed to work on the place in front of where I was parked and neglected to tell me that they'd towed me to the other side of the community, which had me in a panic, and calling the police to file a fucking report. Only to learn later that my car hadn't been stolen.  Attached the email chain between the property manager and myself, along with invoice and pictures.

But the mean, petty, childish and immature part is that I mailed them in a large envelope (no folding of papers) with my firm's name. And the letter was addressed to the President of the Property Management. I am not up to dealing with Senior VP of this or Executive V.P. of that or anyone who isn't the top dog.

Let's see if Mr. President responds. I asked to be contacted within 7 days, confirming my request would be honored. NOT to ask if he would grant my request. You know, like the saying, "Better to ask for forgiveness than permission?"

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5 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

This may be mean and petty and childish and immature of me, but I don't care. I wrote a full two-page letter, documenting everything, and also including the facts about the rash of thefts and vandalism that have taken place over the past three years, the latest which happened to me, and the property couldn't do anything, and which led to me having to purchase a new vehicle. Also how they had towed me last year because PEPCO needed to work on the place in front of where I was parked and neglected to tell me that they'd towed me to the other side of the community, which had me in a panic, and calling the police to file a fucking report. Only to learn later that my car hadn't been stolen.  Attached the email chain between the property manager and myself, along with invoice and pictures.

But the mean, petty, childish and immature part is that I mailed them in a large envelope (no folding of papers) with my firm's name. And the letter was addressed to the President of the Property Management. I am not up to dealing with Senior VP of this or Executive V.P. of that or anyone who isn't the top dog.

Let's see if Mr. President responds. I asked to be contacted within 7 days, confirming my request would be honored. NOT to ask if he would grant my request. You know, like the saying, "Better to ask for forgiveness than permission?"

Good for you!  I just bought  a 2019 4Runner and immediately got new wheels and tires before I left the lot. I was quoted x for that. When I got home I realized it was x plus more than I said. (That was cash and not financed)

I called twice. Both times people were overwhelmed “someone will call you”. 

No one called. They sent a “how did your car buying” email this week and I gave them all 5 stars as the service was good but said yes I need someone to talk to. 30 minutes later via email and description of what’s what’s wrong about I’ve got a 390 check coming my way.  Phone got me nothing. Email and reporting gets you everything!

My words were “you all were very happy to take my money but getting it back has been difficult to say the least”. 

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I've got a pet peeve & it has to do with the produce industry breeding the taste out of tomatoes. I can't remember the last time I ate a tomato that had that sweet tomato-y flavor...maybe 2005? And seedless watermelons? Excuuuuse me...they have tinier seeds that are a PITA to get rid of (I can't have food with seeds so this bugs me). Bring back the watermelons w/ the big black seeds--at least you can see & easily get rid of them.  Seedless means nothing, IMO.

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7 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

I've got a pet peeve & it has to do with the produce industry breeding the taste out of tomatoes. I can't remember the last time I ate a tomato that had that sweet tomato-y flavor...maybe 2005? And seedless watermelons? Excuuuuse me...they have tinier seeds that are a PITA to get rid of (I can't have food with seeds so this bugs me). Bring back the watermelons w/ the big black seeds--at least you can see & easily get rid of them.  Seedless means nothing, IMO.

Both things annoy me, too.  I only eat tomatoes out of the garden, because the factory farmed ones are so horrible, and I'm going crazy waiting for my first BLT of the year -- I didn't plant a garden this year, my parents got theirs in late, and my friend's tomato plants are not producing for some reason. 

There is one local market that carries "real" (with the big black seeds) watermelon from a local farm, but that means everyone who wants one goes there, so half the time I go looking for one they're out.  And the tomatoes they stock aren't very good.  Better than those at the chain grocery stores, certainly, but still not up to par.

There used to be a farmers market on Thursday afternoons, but now the ones left are all weekend mornings, and I don't do mornings.

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I can't even remember what a carrot pulled from the ground tastes like; I just remember that I used to know. Some strawberries have enough of a hint of fresh-picked taste to remind me of what that was like. I'm just grateful for the memory of apples on a tree as big as softballs even though I can't recall the flavor. 😢

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On 7/27/2019 at 5:40 PM, fairffaxx said:

At my HMO, it's standard practice to take BP with the patient seated in a chair, feet flat on the floor, following a wait of at least 15 minutes after arriving (not immediately after driving, parking, walking across the lot, climbing stairs, etc.).  If those results are high, they wait at least 10 minutes and then test again with the patient standing, arm extended at heart level, hand resting on the BP machine -- that almost always helps to bring my numbers down.

reminds me of MANY years ago, being very pregnant, going to the doctor.  After an hour in the waiting room, my BP was high - it's never high.   He proceeded to lecture me about resting, putting my feet up (my feet and legs were swelling), making sure to walk around, etc.   I told him to take a look in his crowded  waiting room, and tell me how all those pregnant women and I are supposed to put our feet up?  

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My pet peeve, and it's not major, just annoying. 

I need to order an item from Target.  I go on their website, to order it for a pickup at the store.  (large item, I need my husband to get it in the car)  to order, I have to open an account.  I can't open an account, because apparently at one time I had opened one, and I don't know what password I used.  so, I have top ask for a code in order to change the pw.    Then, I log in and order the item.   Easy enough.  

BUT -  I have an email telling me the code to change the pw, another email saying my pw was successfully changed, another email saying they received my order, and ANOTHER email saying they are processing my order and it will be ready in 2 hours, and then, 10 minutes later an email saying the order is ready to be picked up.  

Yes, it's very convenient, but It seems they could find a way without 5 emails in 10 minutes.  

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16 minutes ago, tinkerbell said:

It seems they could find a way without 5 emails in 10 minutes.  

It gripes me as well; I set up message filters to delete all that auto-send shit. I'm just gonna assume you received my order and are charging, processing, shipping, and tracking it, okay? Also, if I want to add a review for the purchase or complete a survey, I'll do so.

Silver lining: message filters!

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And don't ever fall for ordering something online from Target that is supposed to give you a free gift card. I've done it twice over the years and both times I was charged for the "free" gift card. I only ever go for those deals in store now.

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23 minutes ago, tinkerbell said:

My pet peeve, and it's not major, just annoying. 

I need to order an item from Target.  I go on their website, to order it for a pickup at the store.  (large item, I need my husband to get it in the car)  to order, I have to open an account.  I can't open an account, because apparently at one time I had opened one, and I don't know what password I used.  so, I have top ask for a code in order to change the pw.    Then, I log in and order the item.   Easy enough.  

BUT -  I have an email telling me the code to change the pw, another email saying my pw was successfully changed, another email saying they received my order, and ANOTHER email saying they are processing my order and it will be ready in 2 hours, and then, 10 minutes later an email saying the order is ready to be picked up.  

Yes, it's very convenient, but It seems they could find a way without 5 emails in 10 minutes.  

Target was one of the first (in my memory) companies that had it's customer database hacked and users' identities compromised, so this seems unsurprising. IIRC, shortly after that hack was when they started requiring customers to enter a pin code every time we use our Target cards. (Yes, I shop at Target too often, and it doesn't help that it's now 2 miles from my apartment in a residential neighborhood.)

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Grrrrr. My Outlook is screwed up & keeps throwing a large part of my email into junk. I have repeatedly (& repeatedly & repeatedly & repeatedly) clicked on "not junk" & "always trust email from...", I have closed it down, I have rebooted, & it is still putting a bunch of my emails into junk. 

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4 minutes ago, tinkerbell said:

Follow up: I picked up my order from target.  While leaving the parking g lot, I received ANOTHER email, saying, Hooray! Your order was picked up! 

Duh.

eBay does this, when I leave feedback for something I bought they send an email telling me it was delivered. Do they think I left feedback for something I didn't get?

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I have few words today that I can use without being "political", so I'll say just this: I hope you all and your loved ones are safe. I'm devastated by the world we live in, and despite being agnostic, remain convinced we are in literal Hell.

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50 minutes ago, MikaelaArsenault said:

The back to school ads when it’s way too early for this.

Stay out of Hobby Lobby, they have Christmas stuff up already.  School around here (Northern California) has already started.

Edited by GaT
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On 8/3/2019 at 1:05 AM, annzeepark914 said:

The only store-bought tomatoes that have a decent flavor, IMO, are Campari & Roma. 

Sprouts sells Heirlooms which are delicious. I make sure to buy a bunch when they are on sale to chow down on.

 
 
 
 
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6 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

My pet peeve, and it's not major, just annoying. 

BUT -  I have an email telling me the code to change the pw, another email saying my pw was successfully changed, another email saying they received my order, and ANOTHER email saying they are processing my order and it will be ready in 2 hours, and then, 10 minutes later an email saying the order is ready to be picked up.  

 
 
 
 
5 hours ago, palmaire said:

It gripes me as well; I set up message filters to delete all that auto-send shit. I'm just gonna assume you received my order and are charging, processing, shipping, and tracking it, okay?

4 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

Follow up: I picked up my order from target.  While leaving the parking g lot, I received ANOTHER email, saying, Hooray! Your order was picked up! 

Duh.

The reason for the types of emails, especially the 'your password has been changed', the order confirmation and order pick-up is security and fraud prevention. I'm glad you're able to filter out the messages so they don't annoy you but there is a legit reason for them.

 
 
 
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5 hours ago, bilgistic said:

And don't ever fall for ordering something online from Target that is supposed to give you a free gift card. I've done it twice over the years and both times I was charged for the "free" gift card. I only ever go for those deals in store now.

What did Target say when you asked them about it? I've been behind people who were upset with the customer service desk for deducting the free-with-purchase gift card from the return about but the receipts clearly list the return value of the items when there is a FWP gift card.

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56 minutes ago, GaT said:

Stay out of Hobby Lobby, they have Christmas stuff up already.  School around here (Northern California) has already started.

You have to get the Christmas stuff to make stuff early, though, because if you wait for after Thanksgiving, it's not happening. (At least it's not for me.) School starts here in a couple of weeks.

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Every once in a while I run across an item that someone has included a floral smell way too liberally.  It doesn't happen often enough that I get unscented everything.

But OMG, I used a soap that was basically a concentrated botanical perfume.

You would have all been highly amused at how my hands shot out to try to keep them as far from my nose as possible as I took off for a sink to try to remove the stench.  It may have looked like I was trying to fly, but I really wasn't.

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10 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

Every once in a while I run across an item that someone has included a floral smell way too liberally.  It doesn't happen often enough that I get unscented everything.

But OMG, I used a soap that was basically a concentrated botanical perfume.

You would have all been highly amused at how my hands shot out to try to keep them as far from my nose as possible as I took off for a sink to try to remove the stench.  It may have looked like I was trying to fly, but I really wasn't.

In addition to the smell getting to me via my nose,
scented soaps, detergents, etc. give me hives. 
I guess that makes me the more special snowflake.

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10 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

Follow up: I picked up my order from target.  While leaving the parking g lot, I received ANOTHER email, saying, Hooray! Your order was picked up! 

Duh.

Could this be to let you know the item had been picked up, in case the person who picked it up wasn't you?

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I have an appointment for Thursday to take my car in for an oil change. I made the appointment last Thursday. So far I have gotten three emails and one text message reminding me of my appointment that is still 4 days away.  I know there will be more reminders between then and now.  Then, after I have the oil changed and pick it up, I will get no less than 3 emails, one telling me my car is ready (usually I've been driving home for at least 15 minutes when I get that one), one thanking me for using MazdaDealer, and one to do a survey.  

Related to that peeve is that I am peeved with myself. I wasn't paying attention on Thursday (because I was looking at my mileage and thinking about how I needed to make an oil change appointment) and I backed into my garage door while it was still opening.  It should've been open by that point but yeah.  I'm an idiot. I will also need touch up paint at the dealer. There's a dent too, not a big one, and I don't particularly care about it, but I don't want the paint chip to rust.  Bah.

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The one that makes me grind my teeth is people using "I" instead of "me".  I guess they think using "me" sounds ignorant.  I remember a teacher advising us to remove the other person's name as a test: The company gave my husband and I a few samples to preview. Remove my husband and.  

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1 hour ago, annzeepark914 said:

The one that makes me grind my teeth is people using "I" instead of "me".  I guess they think using "me" sounds ignorant.  I remember a teacher advising us to remove the other person's name as a test: The company gave my husband and I a few samples to preview. Remove my husband and.  

At least IRL when I hear "I" when it should be "me," I know the speaker is making the error.

When I hear it on TV, it takes me out of the scene while I ponder:

  • Did the script have "I" or did the actor substitute "me"?
  • Did the writer use "I" on purpose knowing it was wrong, to make the character appear to be an uneducated person pretending to be educated?
  • Did the writer not know any better?
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1 hour ago, annzeepark914 said:

The one that makes me grind my teeth is people using "I" instead of "me".  I guess they think using "me" sounds ignorant.  I remember a teacher advising us to remove the other person's name as a test: The company gave my husband and I a few samples to preview. Remove my husband and.  

I have a friend that always says "me and so-and-so went to the movies.  Now, that drives me absolutely batty.  She's in her 40s, a college graduate, works in the medical profession, so I feel correcting her would be wrong, but one of these days I'm going to lose and scream "So and So and I!!!!!!!!!!!"

My other pet peeve, since it just happened, is people who tell their life stories to clerks, tellers, checkout people, etc, when there's a line.  There were two people working at the post office and the one guy got through 3 people while the other one was patiently listenting to this lady go on and on and on.  Now to be fair, it did have to do with her mail delivery, but the clerk had told her a few times that she didn't know the answer, her supervisor was at lunch, etc.  Adding every single detail was doing nothing but annoying me.

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I'm a college-educated 42 y/o and still struggle with "and me" and "and I". I installed Grammarly which helps but I'm certain things I say makes people cringe. Sorry. 

My current peeve is IM software. My company has an internal Google Hangouts that doesn't show if someone is offline. I hate it so I rarely log in and people get pissed that I'm not responding. Send me a fucking email if it's that important. I don't use IMing software because most of what I need also needs the paper trail of an email

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2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

When I hear it on TV, it takes me out of the scene while I ponder:

  • Did the script have "I" or did the actor substitute "me"?
  • Did the writer use "I" on purpose knowing it was wrong, to make the character appear to be an uneducated person pretending to be educated?
  • Did the writer not know any better?

Ha - I fixate on that, too.  I wonder whether a professional writer made an error with such a basic thing, or if the writer and/or actor know it's wrong but did it intentionally because the character would say it incorrectly.  It only bothers me if it's out of character, but when it's in character it's often hard for me to guess whether it was intentional characterization or an error that just lucked into being right for the character.

Edited by Bastet
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49 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I have a friend that always says "me and so-and-so went to the movies.  Now, that drives me absolutely batty.  She's in her 40s, a college graduate, works in the medical profession, so I feel correcting her would be wrong, but one of these days I'm going to lose and scream "So and So and I!!!!!!!!!!!"

LOL, if you have the right kind of friend, she'll probably laugh if you do.

Using the objective form ("me") as a subject can be a deliberate choice to use slang, so I might be the snooty one if I called out the speaker —which is just one more thing to ponder when you hear it than when "I" is used for "me."

39 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

I'm a college-educated 42 y/o and still struggle with "and me" and "and I".

My 38 y/o "work daughter" who has a masters degree in English has this problem. Fortunately she's not teaching English. Both of her parents came to the US from Korea shortly before she was born. I would never correct her (or anyone). Restating the phrase as part of the conversation in the correct form is as far as I'll go.

I agree, this is the best way to determine which is correct:

2 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

 I remember a teacher advising us to remove the other person's name as a test: The company gave my husband and I a few samples to preview. Remove my husband and.  

—but I was reared by parents whose own immigrant parents insisted that only grammatically correct English was to be spoken in the home, so maybe that trick doesn't work for others?

BTW, my mother not only corrected my grammar, but when we moved to the Midwest, my sister and I were corrected if we used the local flat sounding short a.

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38 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Ha - I fixate on that, too.  I wonder whether a professional writer made an error with such a basic thing, or if the writer and/or actor know it's wrong but did it intentionally because the character would say it incorrectly.  It only bothers me if it's out of character, but it's often hard for me to guess whether it was intentional characterization or an error that just lucked into being right for the character.

I'm sorry that I can't remember the specific thing, but I remember I was watching Young Sheldon and Sheldon made a grammatical error while speaking (I think it was an I/me thing, but I'm not even sure of that).  I was like, come on, Sheldon wouldn't say that.

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