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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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My pet peeve these days is the term "old", especially "old lady."  I find it's a way that people dismiss others because of their age.  There was a story about a woman who helped Keith Urban out at a store when he didn't have cash.   Most stories headline it "retired school teacher..."   But one story starts with "OLD LADY helps out Keith Urban."   the woman looks to be 60-ish.  Keith Urban is 50.  Is he and "old man?"  His wife is 51 - is she an "old lady?"    I hate the label, because to me, and old lady is a 90 year old in a nursing home.   NOt a woman who has grey hair who appears to have an active life, who decided to help out a stranger.  

It irks me.  just because you've had a certain number of birthdays, you get treated like a doddering fool, and people are amazed that you can actually function appropriately. 

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On the topic of verbal pet peeves.....

 

"Borderline" is another word popping up way too much lately.  When someone wants to make an accusation but is not sure they can justify it, they call it "borderline....." whatever term.  That's "borderine racist" or "borderline sexist".  Just call it racist or sexist and back up your point.  Don't try and weasel your way out of making the accusation by adding "borderline" to somehow soften the point in case someone disagrees.  So annoying.  See it everywhere. 

Also hate the phrase "So this just happened".......just say what happened.  Such an empty, meaningless and pointless saying. 

Also agree coincidence does not mean ironic, even though its used that way all the time.  I believe people THINK it makes then sound smarter to say ironic instead, but in reality, its just the opposite.   If you know the meaning of ironic, it makes them sound dumb instead.  Which, by the way, actually could fit the definition of irony........that will make your head spin.   

Edited by DrSpaceman
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6 hours ago, DrSpaceman said:

Also agree coincidence does not mean ironic, even though its used that way all the time.  I believe people THINK it makes then sound smarter to say ironic instead, but in reality, its just the opposite.   If you know the meaning of ironic, it makes them sound dumb instead.  Which, by the way, actually could fit the definition of irony........that will make your head spin.

I never use the words ironic or irony because I don't understand it and I'm pretty sure I sound dumb enough already! (Oh and don't try to explain, many have tried, all have failed.)

Peeve of the day - riding the bus after a rainstorm. People get rained on, seats get wet, and I get a damp butt when I sit down!

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8 minutes ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

I never use the words ironic or irony because I don't understand it and I'm pretty sure I sound dumb enough already! (Oh and don't try to explain, many have tried, all have failed.)

I completely respect you for just avoiding a word rather than trying to use it when you don't know what it means.  And, I'm not sure if that's going to look sarcastic on screen, so I'll just say I'm being totally sincere.   Knowing what you don't know is actually a really important asset.

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There was this commercial on the radio a few years ago. It was for a smoking quitline.  They were interviewing one of the successful quitters.  They asked him how he decided to stop.  He said "ironically, I heard one of your commercials and I called...."  Every time that commercial came on, I screamed in frustration.  That is the exact opposite of irony.  It would have been ironic if he heard the commercial and decided to take up smoking, possibly so he could later stop, or not, either way.

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This disturbed me:  I have a cell phone that is limited to only friends and family, and I don’t use it to go online.  If I visit a website, it is always on my PC, and if, for some reason, I have to list a phone number, I always give my landline.  Much to my surprise, we had our primary election recently, and I received a text on my cell which basically said  

Hello < name>, this is so and so representing <candidate>.  We have you on record as living at <address>, and your polling location is <XXXX>.  The polls are open until 8 a.m. until 8 p.m.  Please get out and vote.    

This is way too intrusive.  

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1 hour ago, Fable said:

This disturbed me:  I have a cell phone that is limited to only friends and family, and I don’t use it to go online.  If I visit a website, it is always on my PC, and if, for some reason, I have to list a phone number, I always give my landline.  Much to my surprise, we had our primary election recently, and I received a text on my cell which basically said  

Hello < name>, this is so and so representing <candidate>.  We have you on record as living at <address>, and your polling location is <XXXX>.  The polls are open until 8 a.m. until 8 p.m.  Please get out and vote.    

This is way too intrusive.  

Text message spam is illegal, but just like phone call spam, the volume is torrential and it's incredibly hard to bring offenders to justice. Also as with phone call spam, non-commercial messages (including political stumping) are permitted. 

It's a bunch of garbage.

Edited by bilgistic
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20 hours ago, backformore said:

My pet peeve these days is the term "old", especially "old lady."  I find it's a way that people dismiss others because of their age.  There was a story about a woman who helped Keith Urban out at a store when he didn't have cash.   Most stories headline it "retired school teacher..."   But one story starts with "OLD LADY helps out Keith Urban."   the woman looks to be 60-ish.  Keith Urban is 50.  Is he and "old man?"  His wife is 51 - is she an "old lady?"    I hate the label, because to me, and old lady is a 90 year old in a nursing home.   NOt a woman who has grey hair who appears to have an active life, who decided to help out a stranger.  

It irks me.  just because you've had a certain number of birthdays, you get treated like a doddering fool, and people are amazed that you can actually function appropriately. 

I've got a similar pet peeve about "grandmother."  I often seed headlines such as "Grandmother Runs for Congress" or "Grandmother Climbs Mount Everest" or "Grandmother Opens Restaurant."   I've never seen a headline saying "Grandfather Runs for Congress" or "Grandfather Climbs Mount Everest." The assumption seems to be that most grandmother are "little old ladies" who do nothing but sit at home knitting.  And of course a woman can be a grandmother in her 40s or earlier.  Headlines almost never refer to whether or not a man has any children or grandchildren, unless the story is about his caring for them (or murdering them).  

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OK, here's a fashion Pet Peeve I saw the other day: someone wore TWO pairs of sunglasses on their head and neither of them actually covering their eyes? What's up with that? I mean, if they couldn't make up their mind about which pair to wear, why not have the 2nd pair in one's pocket. Oh, and they were inside not in the bright, glaring outdoors so that IMO added to the dork factor.

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24 minutes ago, Blergh said:

OK, here's a fashion Pet Peeve I saw the other day: someone wore TWO pairs of sunglasses on their head and neither of them actually covering their eyes? What's up with that? I mean, if they couldn't make up their mind about which pair to wear, why not have the 2nd pair in one's pocket. Oh, and they were inside not in the bright, glaring outdoors so that IMO added to the dork factor.

You mean on top of their head like a headband? That sounds dorky AND uncomfortable!!

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6 minutes ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

You mean on top of their head like a headband? That sounds dorky AND uncomfortable!!

One around the midforehead and the other directly  framing the top of the head to be exact! Does that take away any of the dork factor?

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16 hours ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

I never use the words ironic or irony because I don't understand it and I'm pretty sure I sound dumb enough already! (Oh and don't try to explain, many have tried, all have failed.)

Peeve of the day - riding the bus after a rainstorm. People get rained on, seats get wet, and I get a damp butt when I sit down!

I used to have a boss who had extreme views on acceptable writing styles.  Her only problem with me was I never used semicolons.  I finally told her that I make a concerted effort to write short clear sentences in order to avoid excess punctuation* because I don't like it and I will never ever remember the rules for their proper usage.  If she needs a semicolon, feel free to add it but know that my brain will never adapt to do it.

I worked as a financial analysis and was assigned the most complex audits because I could unravel the math/follow the money.  As an added bonus, I could break down the problems to TPTB so that corrective action could be required.  Improper semicolon usage was not going to besmirch my professional standing.

 

*of any kind

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I went to Walgreens yesterday to pick up a prescription and they had a aisle of Halloween candy out already. IT'S AUGUST. 

On the plus side, they had Cadbury Screme Eggs, which I've never seen before. I got two. 

So I guess it was a sort of peeve.

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On 8/25/2018 at 6:15 AM, ALenore said:

I've got a similar pet peeve about "grandmother."  I often seed headlines such as "Grandmother Runs for Congress" or "Grandmother Climbs Mount Everest" or "Grandmother Opens Restaurant."   I've never seen a headline saying "Grandfather Runs for Congress" or "Grandfather Climbs Mount Everest." The assumption seems to be that most grandmother are "little old ladies" who do nothing but sit at home knitting.  And of course a woman can be a grandmother in her 40s or earlier.  Headlines almost never refer to whether or not a man has any children or grandchildren, unless the story is about his caring for them (or murdering them).  

Designing Women had a good scene about this; one of the characters read one of those awful headlines, and they all complained about it for the obvious reasons.  Julia said something about how you'd see "Grandmother Wins Nobel Prize," but post-election coverage (this was the Bush I era) didn't read, "Grandfather Elected President."

Edited by Bastet
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Here is one of my biggest pet peeves: Hard to open plastic bottles. I have been trying to open a bottle of prune juice for the last 15 minutes. I can not get it open. My hand is torn up and I need to go potty. Dammit! Yesterday I tried to get the tap started on a box of wine. I ended getting the pliers and stripped the thing so it won't shut off. KMN.

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45 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I have been trying to open a bottle of prune juice for the last 15 minutes

 

45 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I need to go potty

So the prune juice worked just through the power of suggestion?

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The way Amazon boasts about their "frustration free" packaging, it seems to be a common peeve. The ones that bother me are the plastic foil tops on ketchup bottles and the like. They have a half arc of plastic that we're supposed to grip to peel the foil seal off, but that's a fool's game. I always need to take out a knife or fork to poke through the foil and pry it off.

The other big one for me -- because I eat a lot of string cheese -- is string cheese. The pieces are individually shrink wrapped with a portion of the top unsealed so you can grab it and pull the plastic wrap apart. Well, the manufacturing plants need far better quality control because 30% of the time the top has also been sealed and there's no way to open it except by cutting around the shrink wrap.

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4 hours ago, 2727 said:

The ones that bother me are the plastic foil tops on ketchup bottles and the like. They have a half arc of plastic that we're supposed to grip to peel the foil seal off, but that's a fool's game. I always need to take out a knife or fork to poke through the foil and pry it off.

I swear I thought about posting this last night after opening a jar of mayo! I always thought maybe I just didn't know the right angle to pull the half arc of plastic!

the pliers come in handy for opening those pesky bottle seals, grabbing the tab on the foil seal of coffee cans, etc.

That's an especially good idea for the foil seal of coffee cans - that foil can be sharp!

Edited by Nordly Beaumont
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8 hours ago, 2727 said:

The way Amazon boasts about their "frustration free" packaging, it seems to be a common peeve. The ones that bother me are the plastic foil tops on ketchup bottles and the like. They have a half arc of plastic that we're supposed to grip to peel the foil seal off, but that's a fool's game. I always need to take out a knife or fork to poke through the foil and pry it off.

The worst is the seal on a bottle of bleach with the tab attached in the middle. Half the time it will pull off and then you're stuck with a bottle of bleach you have to try to open without jerking it too much so you spill bleach all over yourself. The rest of the time, the tab yanks off the seal so fast, there's a good chance you're going to spill bleach all over yourself then. I never open a bottle of bleach without putting on old clothes.

Another grammar peeve is the use of the word "myself." "Joe, Mary and myself are going to the store." No, you are not. "Joe, Mary and I are going," but you cannot be "myself" with Joe and Mary. You can only be yourself (myself) with you (me).

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13 hours ago, auntlada said:

The worst is the seal on a bottle of bleach with the tab attached in the middle. Half the time it will pull off and then you're stuck with a bottle of bleach you have to try to open without jerking it too much so you spill bleach all over yourself. The rest of the time, the tab yanks off the seal so fast, there's a good chance you're going to spill bleach all over yourself then. I never open a bottle of bleach without putting on old clothes.

Another grammar peeve is the use of the word "myself." "Joe, Mary and myself are going to the store." No, you are not. "Joe, Mary and I are going," but you cannot be "myself" with Joe and Mary. You can only be yourself (myself) with you (me).

I have learned to keep a pair of needle-nosed pliers in a drawer next to my kitchen sink because my mother is prone to stop up the regular sink, in an attempt to wash dishes, with the little rubber stopper that goes on top of the garbage disposal, and always ends up putting it in upside down, so there's a tab of hard plastic in the middle. If you've ever tried reaching into a sink full of soapy water to grasp that tab, which does not want to come loose anyway because of the pressure of the water on top of it, you know what I'm talking about. My solution is to use the pliers and hide the stopper for the garbage disposal. My mother has now killed the original regular sink stopper, and I've bought a replacement.  I feel bad because she's attempting to wash dishes to be helpful, but I've also had to emphasize to her that she can be much more helpful by just loading the dishwasher rather than doing dishes by hand.

As far as using the word "myself" incorrectly, I've tried to convey how to use it correctly, when working with colleagues and students, but they typically don't care about the reasons behind when it is appropriate to use it and when it's not. The best I've been able to come up with are a few examples:

  • John and myself are going to the movies. (Would you say, "Myself is going to the movies"? No, you would not. It's "John and I are going to the movies." Note: same concept applies to the incorrect statement, "John and me are going to the movies.")
  • I cut myself accidentally when using a sharp knife to punch through the lid of a jar I couldn't get to open. (This is a reflexive use of the pronoun "myself";  you wouldn't say, "I cut me accidentally," and you sure as hell wouldn't say, "I cut I accidentally...")
  • I made the cake myself. (This is an intensive use of the pronoun "myself." In this case, it's there to emphasize that instead of taking the easy way out and getting a cake from the grocery store, bakery, restaurant, etc., you put in the time to assemble and mix the ingredients, bake the cake, and put the icing/frosting on it, and you damn well expect people to appreciate your efforts.)
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Easy way to remember and explain - If that person isn't already isn't in the sentence, they don't get a "self".  You don't get a "self" on your first appearance.  

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On 8/25/2018 at 9:15 AM, ALenore said:

I've got a similar pet peeve about "grandmother."  I often seed headlines such as "Grandmother Runs for Congress" or "Grandmother Climbs Mount Everest" or "Grandmother Opens Restaurant."   I've never seen a headline saying "Grandfather Runs for Congress" or "Grandfather Climbs Mount Everest." The assumption seems to be that most grandmother are "little old ladies" who do nothing but sit at home knitting.  And of course a woman can be a grandmother in her 40s or earlier.  Headlines almost never refer to whether or not a man has any children or grandchildren, unless the story is about his caring for them (or murdering them).  

In some cultures, addressing a woman of a certain age as "grandmother" was traditionally considered polite/respectful.  Growing up, friends from Cantonese speaking families called my grandma "Poh Poh," (maternal grandmother) even though she was not THEIR Poh Poh.  A generation later, many boomers, particularly those who aren't grandmas yet (and ESPECIALLY those who don't live in, say, Hong Kong), find it difficult to accept.  There are people my age (late 30s) who still think they're "jeh jeh" (big sister) rather than "yiyi" (auntie) to KIDS.  I don't mind being an Auntie/Yiyi to anyone.  It's certainly better than kids calling me "Cynthia" - or worse, "hey, you!" 

 

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19 minutes ago, PRgal said:

In some cultures, addressing a woman of a certain age as "grandmother" was traditionally considered polite/respectful.

There was a point in my 20s and even 30s where I'd take offense at being called "ma'am." I gradually came to accept the fact that referring to me as "miss" had become absurd.

I give a slight eye roll about grandparents who insist on being called something else -- nana, gigi, pawpaw, or other made up name. Sometimes it's a family tradition but often it's "Don't call me grandmother!" syndrome.

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51 minutes ago, 2727 said:

nana, gigi, pawpaw, or other made up name.

So you think a child should address her grandmother as "Grandmother"?   Not Grandma, Grammy, Nana, MeeMaw?   

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On 8/25/2018 at 12:13 PM, peacheslatour said:

I need to go potty.

Not to pick on you, but I can't stand it when adults use the term "potty" if they're not talking to children about the children going to the bathroom.  Even then I don't love it but I can sort of see it.  But among adults?  It bugs.

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2 hours ago, 2727 said:

There was a point in my 20s and even 30s where I'd take offense at being called "ma'am." I gradually came to accept the fact that referring to me as "miss" had become absurd.

I give a slight eye roll about grandparents who insist on being called something else -- nana, gigi, pawpaw, or other made up name. Sometimes it's a family tradition but often it's "Don't call me grandmother!" syndrome.

As I've gotten older, I've gotten increasingly annoyed by the tradition of addressing some family members by their familial role rather than by their names. For example, it's considered perfectly fine to address one's parents as "Mother" and "Father," or "Mom" and "Dad," while most people wouldn't dream of addressing their siblings as "Brother" or "Sister."  I don't really see the sense in that. And I will admit to being a proud part of "Don't call me grandmother!" syndrome. When I was growing up, my paternal grandparents preferred to be addressed by their first names, while my great-grandparents did not. My maternal grandparents preferred being addressed slightly differently. So, when speaking to them in a group, it was "John," "Mary," "Grandma ABC," "Grandpa ABC," "Mama DEF," and "Grandpa DEF." This would have been confusing if they had all insisted on being called simply "Grandmother" or "Grandfather"; it was confusing enough as a kid to listen to other people address my paternal great-grandparents and maternal grandparents by their first names but remember that I was supposed to call them something else.  It was much easier to remember that everybody called my paternal grandparents by their first names and stick with that. I'm trying not to inflict my will on my grandson, but when he calls me "Grandmother," I remind him that my name is [actual first name].  What's wrong with simply addressing all family members by their first name?

On a practical basis, I run into this situation all the time. My daughter prefers to call me "Mother," which is fine although there's a tradition in our family of calling parents by their first names. With her friends, though, there usually comes a point when I have to inform them, "You can call me [my first name]" because they don't know my name. My surname is different from my daughter's name, and so they've usually attempted to call me "Mrs. [Daughter's last name]" and I have to explain there's nobody by that name in the household. I suppose I could fault my daughter for not introducing my properly, but when I meet her friends for the first time, she usually uses a fairly informal introduction of just telling her friends, "This is my mother." Same thing goes with my son. When I first met his paternal grandmother, my former MIL, she insisted that I call her "Mom" and I just could not bring myself to say that word. I've never  used "Mom" even with my own mother, and I sure as hell wasn't going to use it with her. So I simply never addressed her directly by any name, and in conversations with others, referred to her by either her first name or by the term "My MIL" and left it at that. 

Edited by BookWoman56
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44 minutes ago, BookWoman56 said:

When I first met his paternal grandmother, my former MIL, she insisted that I call her "Mom"

I don't think it's right to insist on that.  I'm never getting married, so there is no chance of having to deal with this issue, but hypothetically:  I would not be comfortable calling my mother-in-law "Mom" (and I wouldn't want to hear my husband address my mom that way, either [nor would my mom go for that - yes, this has come up in conversation]).  If someone says, "You can call me Mom," okay, because that's just an offer one can accept or decline, but insisting?  Nope.  I generally think you should address someone they way they request, but I'd take a hard pass on that one.

Quote

I suppose I could fault my daughter for not introducing my properly, but when I meet her friends for the first time, she usually uses a fairly informal introduction of just telling her friends, "This is my mother."

Huh.  I don't think I've ever heard anyone do that, just say, "This is my [Whatever]," rather than "This is my [Whatever], [Name]." 

Edited by Bastet
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47 minutes ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

My pet peeve is people in retail calling me "sweetie" or "hon" or "dear." I am not your sweetie or honey, and the fact that I'm buying something from your store does not make me dear to you. So knock it off! 

I'll go one further and say that I hate anyone but family members or an SO calling me any of those things.  My boss called me sweeties once and I snapped back, "I'm not your sweetie."  I've worked there 15 years and he hasn't done it again.  Must have been a particularly effective snap.  LOL.

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29 minutes ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

My pet peeve is people in retail calling me "sweetie" or "hon" or "dear." I am not your sweetie or honey, and the fact that I'm buying something from your store does not make me dear to you. So knock it off! 

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: it's not so much what they call me, but how they say it. I don't like it when people say "hon" or "dear" in the same tone of voice you'd say "you fucking moron".

My mom, husband, and friends can use all the terms of endearment they want. If you're not my mom, husband, or friend, kindly refer to me by my first name... or Ms. Fitch if you're nasty (cheap joke for the over 30 set!).

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3 hours ago, Bastet said:

I don't think it's right to insist on that.  I'm never getting married, so there is no chance of having to deal with this issue, but hypothetically:  I would not be comfortable calling my mother-in-law "Mom" (and I wouldn't want to hear my husband address my mom that way, either [nor would my mom go for that - yes, this has come up in conversation]).  If someone says, "You can call me Mom," okay, because that's just an offer one can accept or decline, but insisting?  Nope.  I generally think you should address someone they way they request, but I'd take a hard pass on that one.

Huh.  I don't think I've ever heard anyone do that, just say, "This is my [Whatever]," rather than "This is my [Whatever], [Name]." 

She has at times introduced me as "This is my mother, [my actual name]," and then there has often been some confusion because we don't share the same last name, although you'd think in these days there would be less confusion about that. Adding to the complexity of the situation is that my daughter plans to have her name legally changed, to remove her existing surname, have her existing middle name become her last name, and change her given first name, and to a lot of her friends, she is known to them primarily as [Future first name followed by existing middle name]. So explanations are usually reserved for after they've been friends for a while, or if they meet in a setting where they will hear her current legal name, and then she will later on let them know that she prefers to be addressed by a different name. My son is a product of my first marriage to a different man, and so his last name is also different from mine; his wife is from Hong Kong and while she uses his last name for some purposes, she has retained her Cantonese last name as her legal name. She has a Cantonese first name and an Anglicized middle name. I am at times tempted to just create a diagram of names/relationships. All of which leads me to another name-related peeve: Why can't people just retain the name they are given at birth, or legally change their name later if they don't like it, instead of this craziness where the vast majority of women in the U.S. change their names when they marry? It causes a lot of paperwork, such as having names changed on SS cards, drivers licenses, etc., and then if the marriage ends and the woman wants to change back her name, there's all the paperwork again.  I did not change my name either of the two times I've been married, and I can attest that it has made my life much easier when it comes to having my employment history and education verified, etc. I've been asked a few times to verify that I worked with a particular person, and it's taken me a minute to figure out that Jane Doe used to be Jane Watson when I was working with her. 

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4 hours ago, Bastet said:

I don't think it's right to insist on that.  I'm never getting married, so there is no chance of having to deal with this issue, but hypothetically:  I would not be comfortable calling my mother-in-law "Mom" (and I wouldn't want to hear my husband address my mom that way, either [nor would my mom go for that - yes, this has come up in conversation]).  If someone says, "You can call me Mom," okay, because that's just an offer one can accept or decline, but insisting?  Nope.  I generally think you should address someone they way they request, but I'd take a hard pass on that one.

Huh.  I don't think I've ever heard anyone do that, just say, "This is my [Whatever]," rather than "This is my [Whatever], [Name]." 

This discussion about one's in-laws wanting them to call them "Mom" and "Dad" made me think about when a couple marries and the in-laws say, "We're not losing a son; we're gaining a daughter!" or "She's like the daughter we never had!" I always think that sounds super incestuous since the son (or "son") and "daughter" (or daughter) are getting married, so people should really think about what they're saying...they're saying they're siblings.

Grandparents' names: my mother hated that we called our paternal grandparents something so close to her parents' nicknames, but I guess whatever my paternal grandma told us to call them stuck. I am the oldest grandchild on the paternal side. They were Papaw (rhymes with "clap"-awe) and Mamaw (sounds like "ma'am"-awe). Mom's mother is Momaw (MOM-awe) and father was Papa (PAH-PA (equal emphasis on both syllables), not PA-pa or pa-PA! Ha!) I'm the fourth grandchild on the maternal side.

Momaw turned 92 in March and bought herself a new truck. She has to have something in which to bring home mulch for her gardens. She still does all the yard work at her house.

My mom somehow worked it out that my nieces called her Nana [First initial of last name] and made my (step)dad Pop [Initial].

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12 hours ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

My pet peeve is people in retail calling me "sweetie" or "hon" or "dear." I am not your sweetie or honey, and the fact that I'm buying something from your store does not make me dear to you. So knock it off! 

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!  The beauty manager at a store I frequent is openly gay and that it's okay for him to call ANY WOMAN "hon."  I used to avoid him whenever I'm there until last time, when I FINALLY told him to stop.  Straight guys would have been called out A LONG TIME AGO.   He looked shocked when I told him.  I think many women don't mind BECAUSE he's gay.  Errr...NO, dude.  

@BookWoman56: Regarding confusion: Try being a Cantonese-speaker!  A middle (female) child is "mui mui" (younger sister) to the older sibling, but "jeh jeh" to the older one.  And if one sibling is male and the other is female, she'd have a different name to her nieces and nephews once the siblings grow up and have kids.  Then there are the grandparents - a paternal grandfather is "Yeh Yeh" while a maternal grandfather is "Gung Gung" (grandmothers have different names on different sides as well).  It's to the point that even my Cantonese-speaking, Hong Kong-raised cousin doesn't know if I'm "bew yee" (the literal translation is "cousin aunt" or first cousin, once removed) to her daughters or not.  Now the kids call me Auntie Cynthia.  As for what kids call me:  I totally expect one of the following: Ms. Mybirthlastname Marriedname (though that would probably be too long), Mrs. Marriedname or Auntie Cynthia.  Mykid'sname's Mom (well, once my kid is born, anyway) is kind of okay.  Cynthia isn't.  And most definitely NOT okay is "hey YOU!"

Edited by PRgal
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I seem to be the odd one out. 

  • I don't really care if someone calls me sweetie or the like*, as long as it is not in that same tone of voice (as @Wiendish Fitch noted ) you would say "you effin' moron"; 
  • My kids' friends frequently call me Mrs. Their-Last-Name which I definitely no longer am.  Even though it was a bitter severing, the friends are using it in association  with my kids, not him, so it doesn't get under my skin; and
  • When I was married, even after the bitter severing**, I still called his parents what I always called them - Pops and Mom (or Grandma Judy), Grandma Jill, Grandma Jane (there were lots of grandmas all beginning with the letter J).

*I don't tend to use those terms with strangers, but do with family, close friends and my kids' friends.

**  My relationship with the in-laws stayed pretty strong even when things got super ugly.  Truth was, he never had a great relationship with his family and it got better when we were together. 

None of my SILs call my parents Mom and Dad.  Two would have and started to once they got married, but my brothers did not call their parents Mom and Dad so that petered out.  Calling my MIL Mom did not bother me nor my Mom.  The usage of the word would never approach the actual relationship between us so it wasn't something to get offended over.

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On 8/25/2018 at 12:21 PM, emma675 said:

I went to Walgreens yesterday to pick up a prescription and they had a aisle of Halloween candy out already. IT'S AUGUST. 

On the plus side, they had Cadbury Screme Eggs, which I've never seen before. I got two. 

So I guess it was a sort of peeve.

I was in Dollar Tree on Saturday and they had Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations out as well as Halloween. 

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36 minutes ago, DeLurker said:
  • I don't really care if someone calls me sweetie or the like*, as long as it is not in that same tone of voice (as @Wiendish Fitch noted ) you would say "you effin' moron"; 

I don't care, either, with the same caveat you have.

My name has a diminutive that was put on me as a baby and I've always used it, but I don't care if people use the formal one.  Or a diminutive of the diminutive, which new acquaintances for some reason use.  Maybe it's because they can't remember if I like the formal or the diminutive, now that I think about it.

But sometimes people will ask, "Which name do you prefer?" and I've always said I don't care, because I honestly don't care at all.  But I realized recently that that doesn't really help them out, so I've been trying to interrupt myself before I say "I don't care" and make myself pick one, just to take the burden off them. 

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16 hours ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

My pet peeve is people in retail calling me "sweetie" or "hon" or "dear." I am not your sweetie or honey, and the fact that I'm buying something from your store does not make me dear to you. So knock it off! 

You don't live down South, do you? Because since I've moved to NC, I find I'm called that in must about every store I've been in, especially small shops.

When I was married, my wife called my parents by their first names, but I called her mother Mom - but then everyone called her Mom.  Her father was always "Mr. A" - he wasn't the warm, fuzzy type, although he did like me.

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17 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Not to pick on you, but I can't stand it when adults use the term "potty" if they're not talking to children about the children going to the bathroom.  Even then I don't love it but I can sort of see it.  But among adults?  It bugs.

Not to pick on you, but one of my pet peeves is when Americans say bathroom when they mean toilet.

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16 minutes ago, Brookside said:

Not to pick on you, but one of my pet peeves is when Americans say bathroom when they mean toilet.

I used to call it "bathroom' (because usually at least 65% or more toilets are in a home's 'bathroom'), or 'restroom' if I was in a restaurant.  But after marrying my french husband nearly 20 years ago and spending a lot of time with his french family, I now always say "toilet.'  And it gets me some weird looks sometimes from waitstaff, and occassionaly from an acquantaince who may overhear me, who doesn't know me well.

Edited by Hanahope
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19 minutes ago, Hanahope said:

I used to call it "bathroom' (because usually at least 65% or more toilets are in a home's 'bathroom'), or 'restroom' if I was in a restaurant.  But after marrying my french husband nearly 20 years ago and spending a lot of time with his french family, I now always say "toilet.'  And it gets me some weird looks sometimes from waitstaff, and occassionaly from an acquantaince who may overhear me, who doesn't know me well.

I once asked my British brother where the bathroom was; he asked me if I needed a towel.  I imagine if I'd asked for the restroom (how euphemistic can you get?) he'd have handed me a pillow.

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1 hour ago, Moose135 said:

You don't live down South, do you? Because since I've moved to NC, I find I'm called that in must about every store I've been in, especially small shops.

Yeah, lord knows I get my dander up about a lot of things, but I let go of most people calling me "hon", "dear" or "sweetie". It definitely depends on the situation and tone. If it was someone speaking condescendingly ("Look, sweetheart, I don't care what you think...") or in a work setting, it would absolutely not be OK, but a store proprietor saying it as part of being cheery and welcoming is folksy and pretty normal in the South. I find myself saying it to other women and kids ("Thank you, dear!), and I think, "Where did that come from?!" My grandparents' rural/farmer roots come out from time to time.

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Quote

Not to pick on you, but one of my pet peeves is when Americans say bathroom when they mean toilet.

I hate when people say something like, "The dog went to the bathroom on the kitchen floor" (although if one literally has to cross the kitchen to go into the bathroom, I suppose it could work).

Edited by TattleTeeny
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4 hours ago, Popples said:

I was in Dollar Tree on Saturday and they had Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations out as well as Halloween. 

I think this bugs EVERYONE.  I was at Starbucks yesterday and they have a countdown for pumpkin spice latte.  Launches tomorrow.  Sorry, but it's much too early for that (didn't it come out in September last year?).

ETA: Another pet peeve - being shamed for being "too integrated" (have I mentioned this before?).  And not by people from your own culture, but by outsiders who are "trying to be PC." 

Edited by PRgal
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19 minutes ago, PRgal said:

think this bugs EVERYONE.  I was at Starbucks yesterday and they have a countdown for pumpkin spice latte.  Launches tomorrow.  Sorry, but it's much too early for that (didn't it come out in September last year?)

My grocery store already has a whole bunch of 'pumpkin spice' flavored cereals.  But so far, no PS creamer or other items.

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1 hour ago, PRgal said:

I think this bugs EVERYONE.  I was at Starbucks yesterday and they have a countdown for pumpkin spice latte.  Launches tomorrow.  Sorry, but it's much too early for that (didn't it come out in September last year?).

ETA: Another pet peeve - being shamed for being "too integrated" (have I mentioned this before?).  And not by people from your own culture, but by outsiders who are "trying to be PC." 

"Too integrated"? What is that? Is that like "acting white"? (I'm not trying to be obnoxious here or anything. I really don't know for certain.)

The only places it doesn't bug me when holiday stuff is out early is in craft stores because people who are going to make holiday things have to start earlier. So if Hobby Lobby or Michael's or wherever has Christmas stuff out in July, I figure it's OK because if I were going to make Christmas stuff, I would have to start in July to finish it by December.

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Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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