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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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^^^^^Unless you're always asking to borrow money from her , WTF business is it of hers how you spend your (hard earned) money? When my son was senior in high school he was working really hard in AP classes, studying for the SAT's and ACT exams and she kept asking when he was going to get a job. I finally shut her down when I replied "Why, does he owe you money?"

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I was SO happy to be back to my home, kitties and bed yesterday. I love my family, truly, but I was tired of them after two days. My mom followed me around with, "Whatcha doin'? Whatcha lookin' for? Whatcha readin' on your phone?" GET OFF ME, MOM! I'M 43!

I was endlessly "sleep-shamed". It took me until 4am or 6am to fall asleep in The Worst Bed Ever (that thing feels like steel coils with a tissue glued on top of them), but once I'm asleep, I can pretty much stay asleep. So, I slept six to eight hours once I got to sleep. Oh, the shaming. "You slept until noon!" I get that it means less time with the family (we're just sitting around the house), but I'm doing my best here. Depression means my sleep is always a mess.

How about I just not come back? Would that be better?

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3 hours ago, 2727 said:

This doesn't really annoy me, but I have to wonder why people take the time to reply to online questions with non-answers. Like on Amazon product reviews:

Q: Am I able to use this for [X] purpose?

A: Sorry, I don't know.

That actually annoys me.

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40 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Haha, maybe the people who answer think they're the only ones who get the e-mail from Amazon--they feel obligated to respond!

I've never received an email from Amazon to review a product I hadn't already purchases. As for the Question and Answer, this tells me the person who answered was trolling. You have to go to the item, scroll to the Q&A section, and then type your question or answer. It's not something Amazon sends you--it's actually questions other would be purchasers are asking other people who have bought the items.

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29 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I've never received an email from Amazon to review a product I hadn't already purchases. As for the Question and Answer, this tells me the person who answered was trolling. You have to go to the item, scroll to the Q&A section, and then type your question or answer. It's not something Amazon sends you--it's actually questions other would be purchasers are asking other people who have bought the items.

I have received emails from Amazon asking if I can answer a question about something I've bought. Not frequently (at least compared to how often I order stuff), but it has occurred. I too am annoyed by those answers, but I can see my mom answering like that (which does not make it less annoying).

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2 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

I have received emails from Amazon asking if I can answer a question about something I've bought. Not frequently (at least compared to how often I order stuff), but it has occurred. I too am annoyed by those answers, but I can see my mom answering like that (which does not make it less annoying).

I bought some jeans at Amazon and I swear I have had like 20 people asking me about them. One of them was kind of funny: "What size should I get?"  No other information.

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5 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

For instance, my husband and I like to travel---we have no kids and work hard, so I feel like we've earn the right to do this. Yet my mom loves to toss the "you'd have more money if you stayed home more" insult at us.

My husband and I like to eat out at local restaurants and support our city's food scene. Yet my mom loves to toss the "you'd have more money if you ate at home more" insult at us.

My husband and I like to host parties and get togethers at our place. Yet my mom loves to toss the "you'd have more money if you didn't host all those gatherings" insult at us.

 

My parents retired after they sold the family resort and got a motorhome with plans to travel, see the country, and basically do what they wanted. It was about a year later, I was 17 at the time and in school that day, that my dad was working in the yard of our new home and felt chest pain coming on. Mom drove him to the hospital and he was dead on arrival at the emergency room.

Mom lived another 34 years, passing at the age of 91. I often noticed her staring out the living room window and she would say to me "we had all these plans ...," or "today was your dad's birthday," or "today was our anniversary."

No one is born with a warranty certificate stating how long you're going to live, and I know from attending numerous motor vehicle accidents that even teenagers with a whole life ahead of them can have it terminated right then and there.

If I can offer any suggestion, it's enjoy your traveling, enjoy your restaurants, and enjoy your get togethers. Live happy, live content, and live without regrets. Don't find yourself like my mother saying "we had all these plans ..."

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4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I bought some jeans at Amazon and I swear I have had like 20 people asking me about them. One of them was kind of funny: "What size should I get?"  No other information.

It's amazing how Amazon has you work for them for free just because you bought stuff from them...

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13 hours ago, 2727 said:

This doesn't really annoy me, but I have to wonder why people take the time to reply to online questions with non-answers. Like on Amazon product reviews:

Q: Am I able to use this for [X] purpose?

A: Sorry, I don't know.

There's an internet pet peeves forum.  I posted my annoyance with stupid answers to questions on Amazon about a year ago, and someone responded that Amazon sends emails to people asking them to answer questions, and there's an "I don't know" option you can click. 

http://forums.previously.tv/topic/25959-internet-pet-peeves/?do=findComment&comment=2835911

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Jeff Bezos is now the richest man in the world. Amazon has the worse customer service in the world. I am Amazon free and happy to be done with them.

Greedy company asks for reviews and doesn't give anything except the privilege. Gives discounts only if you pay extra for it with a yearly fee.

No thanks. 

https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/jeff-bezos-is-worlds-only-100-billionaire-will-he-finally-start-giving-his-money-away.html                                    

Edited by rcc
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52 minutes ago, rcc said:

Jeff Bezos is now the richest man in the world. Amazon has the worse customer service in the world. I am Amazon free and happy to be done with them.

Greedy company asks for reviews and doesn't give anything except the privilege. Gives discounts only if you pay extra for it with a yearly fee.

No thanks. 

https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/jeff-bezos-is-worlds-only-100-billionaire-will-he-finally-start-giving-his-money-away.html                                    

I've never purchased anything from Amazon.  Once I got a $25 Amazon gift certificate from my Health Insurer, and I gave it away to a friend.

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I hate shopping to the point where I will make presents instead of buying them. That being said I use Amazon exclusively for clothes (name brands I know fit) cosmetics, vitamins, household gadgets, small appliances, all sorts of things. I don't care if I have to pay a little more. If I want to buy something I research it on Amazon. Customer reviews are extremely helpful. I've never had a problem returning anything.

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I keep my Amazon shopping to a minimum (maybe twice a year, when I can't find what I want at a retailer I'm more inclined to patronize), so maybe that's why I've never received one of these requests for customer feedback being discussed. 

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I enjoy shopping, but the experience is marred by people, because I don't generally like people.   Today, I encountered any number of families out shopping, and the parents were just letting the children wander, unfettered, to paw through displays and mess them up, or touch every single thing on the rack. Every once in a while, the parent would call the child's name.  Just the name, over and over again. The child didn't respond, the parent never followed up with "Come here" or "Answer me when I call you."  The children had such names as Goodman. And Heart. And Maverick.  If that were my name, I wouldn't respond either. 

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14 minutes ago, Quof said:

And Maverick.  If that were my name, I wouldn't respond either. 

Maybe the parents are Top Gun fans?  Of course, if so, they didn't listen to Charlie when she thought that was his name rather than his call sign and asked, "Did your mother not like you?"

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I love Amazon and don't begrudge Bezos his billions. It's the first place I go to buy anything because I loathe shopping, especially clothes shopping. Between the weird lighting, whatever chemicals they put on the clothes, and having to deal with people, clothes shopping in person makes me twitchy and then belligerent. I can just about tolerate running into Home Depot and the grocery store, otherwise Amazon all the way. Prime pays for itself pretty quickly when you don't have to have a minimum order to use it--if I ordered as much from other sites as I do Amazon, the shipping costs v. minimum total would impoverish me.

I'm not sure what the problem is with having reviews by people who have ordered the thing? All online outlets do that, and I find the reviews helpful. Since Amazn is the shipper and not the retailer, negative reviews aren't censored for not being glowing. The problem with the questions, is that the first time you receive the "can you answer this" email, it looks like it's going to go directly to the questioner along with other responses, so "I don't know" is a legitimate response. It's not until you see it online that you realize your answer is going to be public. So that's annoying.

I have never had a problem with Amazon customer service at all, and I've returned plenty of stuff. I have something to return tomorrow, in fact. I do wish the vendors would use USPS instead of UPS or Fedex, and the Amazon would not allow them to use the system where the item begins at UPS or Fedex and is then transferred to USPS because it typically adds a day to the arrival date.

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Experiences may vary. I hate shopping more than needed so I love Amazon and have never had less than a great experience with their customer service reps. It probably helps that I only do the online chat sso the rep can read my issue. I've never noticed that items cost more without it and often the daily essentials cost the same, or less than Target and show up at my door. Personally I like reviews and am haopy to write a brief summary of things I love or hate so others can make an informed decision. Same reason I'm a fan of Yelp.

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So I post on a gossip-related Facebook group and I think I'm the only "conservative" there.  Most people seem to have a problem with Ava Phillippe's "coming out"/cotillion/debut, yet I do not.  Most think it's sexist, dated, etc.....However, I think it sounds kind of fun, and, yes, I am upset that I wasn't presented - not even in a small event (was told that it was "not in the culture" (Chinese OR modern Anglo-Canadian)).  I ALMOST went to finishing school though (yes THAT kind of finishing school.  In Switzerland).  I only backed out because I developed a fear of flying after 9/11.  I feel like people have a problem with me NOT having issues with debutantes.  I mean, we don't have problems with quinceaneras or bat/bar mitzvahs, so why this?

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I don't like Amazon.  I ordered from them once and it wasn't from them but from a retailer. I don't understand how anyone can order clothing or food from Amazon?   There are better online retailers who make more sense to me.

I also don't trust online reviews.  What I think is too big someone else may think is too small, it's all subjective.    Also companies/restaurants review themselves because they want positive reviews.

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I feel like people have a problem with me NOT having issues with debutantes.  I mean, we don't have problems with quinceaneras or bat/bar mitzvahs, so why this?

I think the issue is that quinceanaras or bat/bar mitvahs are for all young people of a certain age (although a family's income may dictate how elaborate the affair is).  Debuts, by their very nature are only for the elite.   No poor girl is going to get "presented" to society. 

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21 minutes ago, Quof said:

I think the issue is that quinceanaras or bat/bar mitvahs are for all young people of a certain age (although a family's income may dictate how elaborate the affair is).  Debuts, by their very nature are only for the elite.   No poor girl is going to get "presented" to society. 

The gossip group was talking about them being sexist, not about money.  And have you SEEN some bat mitzvahs and quinceanaras today?  For many, it's about out-doing another family.  (insert eyeroll)

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Oh, I think they're sexist too. But the elitist part is more offensive to me.

Theoretically, every practising 13 year old Jew will have a bar/bat mitzvah (at least the religious service part, which is supposed to be the important part, isn't it?).  Sure parents go overboard, the same way parents do with 1st birthdays, Sweet Sixteens and junior proms that cost more than many weddings.   

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38 minutes ago, Quof said:

Oh, I think they're sexist too. But the elitist part is more offensive to me.

Theoretically, every practising 13 year old Jew will have a bar/bat mitzvah (at least the religious service part, which is supposed to be the important part, isn't it?).  Sure parents go overboard, the same way parents do with 1st birthdays, Sweet Sixteens and junior proms that cost more than many weddings.   

Actually, girls don't HAVE to have a bat mitzvah the way boys do (most do, though).  My sister-in-law was given the choice of a bat mitzvah or a sweet sixteen.  She chose the latter.  A camp friend whose parents are Israeli did not have one either.

Debuts don't have to be "seen" as sexist - just that someone is now an adult.  You can have a tea debut for your child to let your friends know that they are now "eligible" to be invited to grown-up committees, or even to address your friends by their first names (opposed to Mrs./Ms./Auntie/etc)

Edited by PRgal
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37 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Actually, girls don't HAVE to have a bat mitzvah the way boys do (most do, though).  My sister-in-law was given the choice of a bat mitzvah or a sweet sixteen.  She chose the latter.  A camp friend whose parents are Israeli did not have one either.

Debuts don't have to be "seen" as sexist - just that someone is now an adult.  You can have a tea debut for your child to let your friends know that they are now "eligible" to be invited to grown-up committees, or even to address your friends by their first names (opposed to Mrs./Ms./Auntie/etc)

I have no opinion of debuts or sweet sixteen parties.  If that's what you want, go for it.  As a formerly observant Jew (now a cultural Jew, or "Jew-lite" as my sister says) I do quibble with your comparison to bar/bat mitzvahs and quinceanaras, as both of those are (allegedly) religious ceremonies.  I realize that not all youngins have to have them, but that's what they are rooted in.  The parties are just an incredibly ostentatious extension of the religious ceremony.

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1 minute ago, ebk57 said:

I have no opinion of debuts or sweet sixteen parties.  If that's what you want, go for it.  As a formerly observant Jew (now a cultural Jew, or "Jew-lite" as my sister says) I do quibble with your comparison to bar/bat mitzvahs and quinceanaras, as both of those are (allegedly) religious ceremonies.  I realize that not all youngins have to have them, but that's what they are rooted in.  The parties are just an incredibly ostentatious extension of the religious ceremony.

SIL did not have a religious ceremony either.  Nor did my camp friend.  DH, however, did, because he's a guy and he "had to."  It was explained to me that girls = optional. 

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2 minutes ago, PRgal said:

SIL did not have a religious ceremony either.  Nor did my camp friend.  DH, however, did, because he's a guy and he "had to."  It was explained to me that girls = optional. 

Well, no one actually "has" to be bar/bat mitzvahed, boy or girl.  When I was bat mitzvahed, back in the stone age, it was still sorta new that most girls were having one.  But still - not required.  However, if you do have one, it's about the religious ceremony.  Not the party.  So the choice of a bat mitzvah or a sweet sixteen seems like a false choice - to me anyway.  She could have been bat mitzvahed without the party, then party at sixteen...if that's what she wanted.

 

As I said, if you want to be a debutante, or have a sweet sixteen, or any of that, it's fine.  Do what you want.  I just don't see the comparison to the religious part.

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6 hours ago, PRgal said:

bar/bat mitzvahs and quinceanaras, as both of those are (allegedly) religious ceremonies.  

Quinceanaras aren't religious ceremonies, they're cultural and pretty similar to  deb balls in the sense that supposedly it's now OK for girls to date after that.  There isn't a  general Catholic equivalent really - confirmation I guess? but since you're typically 12 or 13 at confirmation  you're sure as shit not going to be having a Look Boys Here She Is All Systems Are Go party to celebrate  it.

ETA: the quote function attributed the above quote to PRGal when is was actually ebk57.  I don't know why that happens here sometimes.   Sorry.

Edited by ratgirlagogo
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9 minutes ago, ratgirlagogo said:

Quinceanaras aren't religious ceremonies, they're cultural and pretty similar to  deb balls in the sense that supposedly it's now OK for girls to date after that.  There isn't a  general Catholic equivalent really - confirmation I guess? but since you're typically 12 or 13 at confirmation  you're sure as shit not going to be having a Look Boys Here She Is All Systems Are Go party to celebrate  it.

Thanks.  I tried to do a little research before I posted and read that there was often a Mass attached to it, so I extrapolated...  I shouldn't do that... 

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21 minutes ago, ratgirlagogo said:

ETA: the quote function attributed the above quote to PRGal when is was actually ebk57.  I don't know why that happens here sometimes.   Sorry.

If you quoted the text from PRGal's reply that itself quoted the text, rather than quoting it from ebk57's original post, that's why - the system will always attribute to the author of the post from which you're selecting the text, even if the text you're selecting is from a quote of a previous post.  If not, I've got nothing.

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10 hours ago, ABay said:

I love Amazon and don't begrudge Bezos his billions. It's the first place I go to buy anything because I loathe shopping, especially clothes shopping. Between the weird lighting, whatever chemicals they put on the clothes, and having to deal with people, clothes shopping in person makes me twitchy and then belligerent. I can just about tolerate running into Home Depot and the grocery store, otherwise Amazon all the way

Agreed. I love Amazon and would buy everything off of it if I could.  I can't stand a single thing about the brick-and-mortar shopping experience.

10 hours ago, Quof said:

 Today, I encountered any number of families out shopping, and the parents were just letting the children wander, unfettered, to paw through displays and mess them up, or touch every single thing on the rack.

I have no tolerance for unruly children, and it really gets my blood boiling if I see that the reason why the parents are allowing such behavior is because they are absorbed with their phones. I have to resist the urge to throw their phones out of their hands and say "Put your phone down and parent your child, asshole!"

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7 hours ago, AgentRXS said:

 Today, I encountered any number of families out shopping, and the parents were just letting the children wander, unfettered, to paw through displays and mess them up, or touch every single thing on the rack.

Admittedly, sometimes it's tough for some parents to help that; I remember when my mom used to take my brother and me shopping with her and they were sooooo slow trying on clothes/paying bills that I'd inevitably end up wandering to another department to check out toys or look at jewelry. I never tore up displays or messed up anything, but I remember being shocked when I was trying on hats one time and some old lady shouted at me, "QUIT PLAYING WITH THE HATS!!!" I found it baffling since I was typically an easygoing kid who kept to myself and always put things away, but she wasn't the first old lady who shouted at me for random reasons. Hell, I'll probably morph into that old lady eventually given how wild kids act in public nowadays.

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18 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Just wait, in a couple more years there will be hordes of little Katniss',  Rues, Gales and Peetas. And after that I bet we see more than a few Thors, Kylos and Reys.

At least Thor MEANS something (and I've always liked the somewhat rare feminine form Thora) and as long as folks recognize that Rey actually is the Spanish word for 'king', I'm okay with it. The others, UGH (especially Katniss- not catness which somewhat soured those books for me).

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but I remember being shocked when I was trying on hats one time and some old lady shouted at me, "QUIT PLAYING WITH THE HATS!!!" 

Sorry, a kid who clearly has no intention of buying a hat, trying on all the hats just to pass the time?  Yuck.  (not saying you had cooties, but who knows?)  I once encountered a child trying out all of the hairbrushes in a pharmacy.   It was a good lesson for me to never use a new hairbrush without sterilizing it first.  

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18 hours ago, ABay said:

I love Amazon and don't begrudge Bezos his billions. It's the first place I go to buy anything because I loathe shopping, especially clothes shopping. Between the weird lighting, whatever chemicals they put on the clothes, and having to deal with people, clothes shopping in person makes me twitchy and then belligerent. I can just about tolerate running into Home Depot and the grocery store, otherwise Amazon all the way. Prime pays for itself pretty quickly when you don't have to have a minimum order to use it--if I ordered as much from other sites as I do Amazon, the shipping costs v. minimum total would impoverish me.

I'm not sure what the problem is with having reviews by people who have ordered the thing? All online outlets do that, and I find the reviews helpful. Since Amazn is the shipper and not the retailer, negative reviews aren't censored for not being glowing. The problem with the questions, is that the first time you receive the "can you answer this" email, it looks like it's going to go directly to the questioner along with other responses, so "I don't know" is a legitimate response. It's not until you see it online that you realize your answer is going to be public. So that's annoying.

I have never had a problem with Amazon customer service at all, and I've returned plenty of stuff. I have something to return tomorrow, in fact. I do wish the vendors would use USPS instead of UPS or Fedex, and the Amazon would not allow them to use the system where the item begins at UPS or Fedex and is then transferred to USPS because it typically adds a day to the arrival date.

THIS.

I also have never had any problems with Amazon's customer service. There were a couple of times where they never received something I returned, and I showed them the return label and everything and got the refund. Same with a pair of jeans I returned--apparently I printed out the same label twice, but since the warehouse said they received it according the UPS tracking...no problem. They've often credited my account if something didn't arrive within the time frame "guaranteed."

Amazon is the place I go, because quite often, the prices there are cheaper than if I went into the actual store or the brand's website.

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On 11/22/2017 at 6:26 PM, bilgistic said:

I got a robocall the other day (I didn't answer) telling me how they could help me with selling my home. Interesting, since I have rented an apartment for the past four years.

I still have my old cell phone number with a Long Island area code.  Last week, I got a call from the same area code, with an actual guy trying to sell me a new roof for my house.  I thanked him, and told him I rented an apartment in Charlotte, so I didn't think I needed his services.

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I'm contrary in that I go to Amazon to see reviews of things I'm interested in buying and then once I've made my decision, I usually buy it at a local store. I do love free shipping though so I will buy gifts for my parent and have them sent from Amazon.

When I get a robocall I hang right up but if it's a person, I just put the phone down on the table and go back to what I was doing. It's amazing how long those people will talk to nobody.

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I love in-person shopping for fun stuff (particularly secondhand/vintage/flea markets, etc.) but I find Amazon to be a godsend for boring stuff like household crap or when I need something so specific that running around and browsing isn't even necessary. And at Xmas it's a total stress reliever (especially because I cash in all my credit card points for the year for Amazon gift cards, which I either use to order gifts online or stash to give as gifts).

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I'm broke.  So I buy cheap cat food (except for the RX diet for my indoor), cat medications/supplies, coffee, cigarettes, and discounted grocery items.  Period.  Every once in a while I'll use my Khol's 30% discount and my anniversary cash coupon to buy some clearance tees to live & sleep in.  Amazon has nothing for me.  Please don't argue with me - I have already checked the prices of everything I buy.  My local vendors offer better deals, and much as I hate shopping, I know where to find the 50% off foodstuff, all the time.

 

ETA - My pet peeve is someone you've just met saying "I'm a hugger" and closing in on your personal space.  I say: "I'm not" and move away.  Hey - I'm not in Hawaii anymore where that sort of thing was cultural (and never creepy).

Edited by walnutqueen
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1 hour ago, walnutqueen said:

ETA - My pet peeve is someone you've just met saying "I'm a hugger" and closing in on your personal space.  I say: "I'm not" and move away.  Hey - I'm not in Hawaii anymore where that sort of thing was cultural (and never creepy).

A person I worked with years ago lived in Montréal for some time. She was laughing one day telling me about how a lot of guys there would "enhance" themselves by putting their wallet in their front pocket.

Nope. Sorry, I told her. If you're going into a crowded place you do that to make sure you still have a wallet when you leave. I had my wallet lifted once and $100 cash went missing so no strangers invading my space.

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Christmas music stations should, here in December, play actual Christmas music. I've been peeved for years now as the beautiful carols like Silent Night or Hark the Herald Angels Sing are replaced with crap by John Lennon and Mariah. This year things have sunk to a new low. This morning I heard one where the singer was sick of Christmas and wasn't going to participate. It was the I-hate-Christmas song. The next was just about snow. The final insult was some crap about losing her boyfriend who'd previously pounded her till her knees were weak. I don't know if the word Christmas was uttered somewhere in the song because I got mad and turned it off. Yeesh. 

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I think the Christmas music I wan to hear depends where I am. Out in public, I kind of want to hear the classic carols. If I'm shopping or something like that, I just want the background to be "Christmas".

In my house, when I'm playing music while making cookies or decorating, I'm up for more variety which damn well better include Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis and The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping. 

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I like Christmas Wrapping and Christmas in Hollis, too.  There aren't many traditional Christmas songs I like (in fact, right now I can't come up with anything other than Carol of the Bells), so my Christmas playlist would consist of things like Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis (Tom Waits), River (Joni Mitchell), 2000 Miles (The Pretenders) and Fairytale of New York (The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl). 

Elvis Presley's rendition of Blue Christmas is about as "traditional" as I get, as I just don't care for most Christmas ballads or carols.  Oh, I do like Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, but with the original lyrics.

My Christmas music peeve is the very existence of Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmas Time.  That song is astoundingly awful, and if I walk into a store when it's playing, I turn around and come back later.

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1 hour ago, Random Noise said:

A person I worked with years ago lived in Montréal for some time. She was laughing one day telling me about how a lot of guys there would "enhance" themselves by putting their wallet in their front pocket.

EW and NO!

1 hour ago, southpaw said:

On parents shopping with kids, this is not a peeve, just a story my mom told me.

Mom used to take each of us kids [5 in all] on our very own solo shopping trip with her around this time of year.  This time it was the youngest’s turn.  My little brother was about three, very blonde with a dark patch of hair at the crown, this would eventually also turn blonde and it made him very easy to spot in a crowd of other kids.

Mom’s rule with him was that he had to hold onto her coat at all times when they were out shopping.  She was wearing a fur coat which he loved to pet so she was pretty confident he wouldn’t let go, and she often looked down to check that he was still with her.

She was making her way around a circular counter of gloves, they were on sale and other women started crowding in around her.  She happened to glance across the counter to the other side and was stunned to see my little brother over there, holding onto the fur coat of a stranger.

Mom didn’t want him to see her and to panic so she tried to back out of the crowd and make her way around to the other side of the counter.  Something dropped and crashed, my brother looked up and saw our mother, looked up at the woman whose coat he was clutching and let out a scream.

It took several hugs and kisses and I’m sorry’s to calm my brother down after that experience.  Oh, and a sundae helped too.

Granted this was 35 years ago, but when my sisters and I went to the grocery store or drugstore with my mother, she would tell us before we went into the store, "You say beside or behind me. You don't touch anything. You don't ask for anything. You don't act up." I had a healthy fear of her. I knew she loved us, but she was also the boss.

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