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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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35 minutes ago, Gramto6 said:

I am one that will be early to any appointment or engagement or I would feel rude for being late and inconveniencing someone. 

Being early can just as rudely inconvenience someone as being late, depending on the circumstances.  My rule on arriving early - whether I'm doing the arriving or the waiting - is:  If a professional appointment, don't check in until five minutes before the established time to get started.  If a social meeting somewhere out and about, grab a drink upon arrival and wait.  If arriving to a social gathering at someone's home, wait until at least the start time if not five minutes after to knock on the door.

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12 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Being early can just as rudely inconvenience someone as being late, depending on the circumstances.  My rule on arriving early - whether I'm doing the arriving or the waiting - is:  If a professional appointment, don't check in until five minutes before the established time to get started.  If a social meeting somewhere out and about, grab a drink upon arrival and wait.  If arriving to a social gathering at someone's home, wait until at least the start time if not five minutes after to knock on the door.

All of my appointments are at doctors, They all require you check in at least 15 minutes or before  appointment time so sometimes I am 20 min early. As far as social engagements. .. since the pandemic I really haven't had any...

Edited by Gramto6
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I had a sister in law do that a couple of times decades ago. I would tell her what time we were eating for a family get together and she and her husband would be late. I stopped waiting for them and made no attempt to keep things warm. They started showing up on time.

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8 hours ago, Kitty Redstone said:

but a cute young couple who couldn't help but step over the tape lines in order to get from point a to point b drew her ire.  She made them feel foolish and it was mean and unnecessary.

It sounds like this couple didn't think the rules applied to them. Maybe they do this consistently, maybe the museum has had an issue with people damaging property. Those tape lines are there for a reason. If the couple didn't want to be admonished they shouldn't have crossed over the boundaries. 

Obviously, people who think the rules don't apply to them is a major peeve of mine.

Edited by theredhead77
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1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

It sounds like this couple didn't think the rules applied to them. Maybe they do this consistently, maybe the museum has had an issue with people damaging property. Those tape lines are there for a reason. If the couple didn't want to be admonished they shouldn't have crossed over the boundaries. 

Obviously, people who think the rules don't apply to them is a major peeve of mine.

No, that wasn't it at all.  There was a large statue in the middle of a small, narrow gallery.  It was difficult to avoid running into the statue without slightly stepping over the tape lines.  Their violation occurred while walking past the statue to get to the rest of the gallery. They weren't standing over the line breathing on the paintings or anything.  The docent saw exactly what happened but wanted to exercise her little bit of power anyway.

People who get a frisson of pleasure by making other people feel foolish is probably my biggest pet peeve.  Well, that and judgemental people.  I don't like bullies.

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23 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

My crazy butt hopes I run into these people again so I can redeem myself. 

If it makes you feel better they probably didn't notice, and if they did it's unlikely they remembered after the interaction ended.

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As I get older I've let go of many of my pet peeves -- lest I become "peevish" -- but I still dislike it when someone is habitually late and keeps others waiting.  A funny thing I noticed about a work colleague who was like this -- After we both retired and I invited him and other work friends to my house for lunch -- He rang my doorbell 15 minutes EARLY!  I was still rushing around straightening things, finishing in the kitchen, etc.  Luckily I had finished dressing.  As irritating as it was, I had to laugh, especially thinking about it afterward.

In my dislike of lateness, I do tend to arrive early everywhere I go but I sit in my car waiting until at least the time specified before I appear at the host's door.

I agree that arriving early at someone's house can be as bad or worse than being late.

Edited by graybrown bird
Another thought.
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20 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Running into people from your past looking terrible. 😰

This happened to me one Saturday morning.  I ran down to the corner to get a soda because I need caffeine in the morning and I don't drink coffee. My teeth were unbrushed, wearing the t-shirt I'd slept in but no bra (because I was only going to the corner), sporting a Pebbles Flintstone hairdo with no makeup and basically looking like I should be standing on a street corner with a tin cup.  The guy in front of me in line turns around and greets me enthusiastically and by name.  I had no idea who he was and assumed it was somebody from my office building, which was cringy enough.  He told me his name when he could see I didn't recognize him.  Turned out to be someone I hadn't seen in 30 years, since the 8th grade.  I hope we don't cross paths again for another 30 years.

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I used to get really upset when guests arrived early. Now, my target time for being ready is at least 30 minutes ahead. This way I'm not running around. Instead, I'm relaxed and just starting to sip a glass of wine. No idea why it took me years to switch to this system 🙄.

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27 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

This happened to me one Saturday morning.  I ran down to the corner to get a soda because I need caffeine in the morning and I don't drink coffee. My teeth were unbrushed, wearing the t-shirt I'd slept in but no bra (because I was only going to the corner), sporting a Pebbles Flintstone hairdo with no makeup and basically looking like I should be standing on a street corner with a tin cup.  The guy in front of me in line turns around and greets me enthusiastically and by name.  I had no idea who he was and assumed it was somebody from my office building, which was cringy enough.  He told me his name when he could see I didn't recognize him.  Turned out to be someone I hadn't seen in 30 years, since the 8th grade.  I hope we don't cross paths again for another 30 years.

I’m impressed he remembered you ! Very cool !

I usually run errands looking not great haha.

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19 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

All of my appointments are at doctors, They all require you check in at least 15 minutes or before  appointment time so sometimes I am 20 min early. As far as social engagements. .. since the pandemic I really haven't had any...

That's a peeve of mine - if you make my doctors appointment for 9am, then that's when I should be expected to show up.  If you "need" me there 15 minutes early, make the appointment for 8:45.  This annoys me no end.

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18 hours ago, ebk57 said:

That's a peeve of mine - if you make my doctors appointment for 9am, then that's when I should be expected to show up.  If you "need" me there 15 minutes early, make the appointment for 8:45.  This annoys me no end.

Gotcha on that one! At least most of my providers give me appointment time and when I should check in.

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My pet peeve is people canceling 1-2 hours before you are supposed to meet. Or being late by an hour.

Or not responding to texts in a few days. Just text hey I’m busy I will get back to you when I can.

Edited by oliviabenson
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When I forget to turn on the dishwasher before bed.

It's noisy so I run it right before bed because I can't hear it upstairs, and the cycle is done by the time I am ready for sleep. I don't use the heat dry and when I wake up they dried naturally. 

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19 hours ago, ebk57 said:

That's a peeve of mine - if you make my doctors appointment for 9am, then that's when I should be expected to show up.  If you "need" me there 15 minutes early, make the appointment for 8:45.  This annoys me no end.

Yeah, I get there five minutes before my appointment, because that's plenty of time to get checked in.  The 15 minute thing is not happening; it takes a lot of effort for me to get places on time, so 15 minutes early is absolutely not happening, especially for no good reason.

Edited by Bastet
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1 minute ago, Bastet said:

Yeah, I get there five minutes before my appointment, because that's plenty of time to get checked in.  The 15 minute thing is not happening; it takes a lot of effort for me to get places on time, so 15 minutes early is absolutely not happening.

I had a doctor's appointment at 8. The instructions I got were to arrive a half hour early. I think I did 20 minutes.  They didn't unlock their doors until 8.

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1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

When I forget to turn on the dishwasher before bed.

My dishwasher has a delay timer for 2, 4, or 8 hours (pet peeve: why is there no 6 hours?) so I usually set it around midnight to go off around 4:00AM when we're asleep.

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20 hours ago, ebk57 said:

That's a peeve of mine - if you make my doctors appointment for 9am, then that's when I should be expected to show up.  If you "need" me there 15 minutes early, make the appointment for 8:45.  This annoys me no end.

As a doctor as long as you're on time and not later. 

We have a fifteen minute time window to be considered on time and even that is flexible. The patients that show up 20 minutes late and demand to be seen, infuriating.  At least for me.  Mostly because then everyone else is late being seen then because of that one person. 

The problem is you tell them no and they throw a fit and you spend more time dealing with that and then the office complaint and everything else, it's your time wasted now or later. 

I'm generally on time unless another patient throws things off. 

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On 8/18/2022 at 6:29 AM, Shelbie said:

I had a sister in law do that a couple of times decades ago. I would tell her what time we were eating for a family get together and she and her husband would be late. I stopped waiting for them and made no attempt to keep things warm. They started showing up on time.

The very first time I met my future in-laws, my (then) boyfriend and I had arranged to pick them up at a certain time.  When we got to their place at the appointed time, they were just sitting down to eat breakfast, in their pajamas.  As someone who is admittedly somewhat of a control freak and who was raised in the "arrive five minutes early and wait around the corner" school of thought, this was an unfortunate start to a never easy relationship.  Both of them talking with their mouths full and removing dentures at the table didn't help.  I spent a lot of time during non-negotiable shared meals (think Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) in the kitchen.

On 8/15/2022 at 11:25 AM, GHScorpiosRule said:

I've only used it once to drive to the farm to get me some peaches (which were DEEELICOUS-white and yellow), tomatoes (also DEELICIOUS) a couple weeks ago. Other than running to the post office or short errands less than 3 miles roundtrip, the car's been sitting in the parking lot. So it'll have like 75% of gas, because I had to fill up when we went to the farm. And they always give you a car with 1/4 tank or less full.

Why did you have to fill the tank?  Why not just put in $20 worth?

On 8/17/2022 at 10:37 AM, StatisticalOutlier said:

BMW:  The Ultimate Driving Machine.

Some modern cars (including BMWs) have a thing where the engine turns off if you're sitting still for a certain amount of time.  Maybe that's what you were feeling.

I learned to drive in an army jeep with a manual transmission, and am forever grateful.  Thanks, Dad, even if it was embarrassing because you'd painted it orange to match the high school's colors.  I still remember the first time I got behind the wheel of a car with an automatic transmission in Driver's Ed, and I didn't know how to make it go.

I once had an automatic rental whose (?) engine turned off when you stopped.  It was freaky because I kept thinking I'd stalled.

I learned to drive with my dad.  He never "taught" me how to do a hill start, I just (successfully) did it by instinct.  Before my test, I had a couple of lessons through a driving school because it was a way to learn the routes the testers used.  The instructor "taught" me how to do a hill start the "right" way - something about watching the bonnet.  It was totally unnatural to me, so of course I failed the test.

Edited by Leeds
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On 8/10/2022 at 12:34 PM, peacheslatour said:

I just have a QFC (Kroger) a Safeway and Costco. I have only been in Costco once and like others here, it freaked me out. My husband goes about every six weeks for stuff like paper goods, cat litter, cereal and laundry detergent. He also like their shoes.

LOL on the shoes part.

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People who think “feedback” always has to equal ripping apart a creative project and then acting smug about it. 

I was encouraged to post my final project for school in a Discord I’m in for that profession because I stated that on the discussion board, no one complimented on or commented on my work. (Even the instructor said the directions were “compliments or comments/questions,” not “tear the project to shreds.”) I shared the link in the Discord, happy that someone was encouraging me, and this person ended up tearing apart my project because “(they) work in software testing, so (they) like to break things”, they nitpicked every setting, and then was just like “you should have better instructions in this place.” I didn’t even get a “great job” or “nice choice of topic.” It really hurt. 

At that point, the final project deadline had passed and my work had been submitted for grading. What was I going to do after being ripped apart? I think the person just wanted to feel like they were on a high horse and better than me. I’m not going to work in course development I decided because I don’t have an eye for graphic design and audio editing and making sure everything lined up and is visually pleasing and functions. And someone else tried to tell me I should learn to take and accept feedback because I have to grow. But why should I accept being torn to shreds and ignored by classmates who all got their work complimented? Because someone said so? I’m pissed that they got to enjoy praise and recognition and I was overlooked completely as if I didn’t also work hard. And for the record yes I did try to apply feedback and advice from my instructor and peer reviewer. 

At least in the fanfic community we have “concrit” (constructive criticism) and “non-concrit (no constructive criticism) for stories. The writers who want concrit get betas (like peer reviewers from their fandom) and will post in appropriately marked threads or otherwise indicate they want concrit. If you don’t want it you can say “no concrit” and people respect that. This particular last exercise was the equivalent of “no concrit” but someone obviously decided they were above the rules because they felt they need to critique. And now I’m just hurt and angry.

Edited by Cloud9Shopper
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My Peeve .. When are the networks going to put some new movies on t.v.?  Every week it’s the same crap.  Sweet Home Alabama, Meet the Fockers, Sixteen Candles, etc, etc.  We are paying thru the nose for cable.  Go in the vault and put new movies on already.  I’ve seen these movies a million times already.

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20 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

My Peeve .. When are the networks going to put some new movies on t.v.?  Every week it’s the same crap.  Sweet Home Alabama, Meet the Fockers, Sixteen Candles, etc, etc.  We are paying thru the nose for cable.  Go in the vault and put new movies on already.  I’ve seen these movies a million times already.

Probably because few watch network TV these days (especially the demographics who like said movies) so they don't bother to renew the licence to air them.  We only have cable because my husband likes sports and watches the finance channel (and CNN).  Everything else is on some streaming service (which we are ALSO paying through the roof...we have Prime, Netflix, Disney+ and Crave (which is more or less our equivalent to HBOMax).

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5 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Probably because few watch network TV these days (especially the demographics who like said movies) so they don't bother to renew the licence to air them.  We only have cable because my husband likes sports and watches the finance channel (and CNN).  Everything else is on some streaming service (which we are ALSO paying through the roof...we have Prime, Netflix, Disney+ and Crave (which is more or less our equivalent to HBOMax).

We just have basic cable but there are some good shows if you look for them. I get that a lot of them are older but FXM has a lot of the newer movies too and we watch a lot of PBS, CBC and Ovation for British mysteries.

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The only reason I have cable these days is because it’s packaged with my Internet, which I need because I work from home full time. If I had to go to an office for a portion or all of the week I’d cut the cord. And yes, I too get sick of seeing the same movies, most of which I don’t even care about. Or the ones I do like are on channels not included in my package. 

I must be feeling a little (a lot?) grouchy this weekend because my latest pet peeve is people who announce their monthly wedding anniversaries. Yes, congratulations Katie you’ve been married for three months!  How impressive! And you were together with your husband for 10 years before that anyway. One of my other friends is doing this too and between the hundreds (it seems like) of wedding photos they posted and now the monthly anniversary posts I just want to be like yes we get it. You’re married. 

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2 hours ago, PRgal said:

Probably because few watch network TV these days (especially the demographics who like said movies) so they don't bother to renew the licence to air them.  We only have cable because my husband likes sports and watches the finance channel (and CNN).  Everything else is on some streaming service (which we are ALSO paying through the roof...we have Prime, Netflix, Disney+ and Crave (which is more or less our equivalent to HBOMax).

Yes, that’s a lot to pay for, right?  My kids pay way over $300 a month and have everything too.  I go on and off with Netflix as I’ve seen everything already.   Now, they are even charging extra for certain sports games on regular tv.  Rip off.

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2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

We just have basic cable but there are some good shows if you look for them. I get that a lot of them are older but FXM has a lot of the newer movies too and we watch a lot of PBS, CBC and Ovation for British mysteries.

Us too.  I don’t mind old as I love black n whites.  I used to love Colombo every morning.  No more for a few years.  Murder She wrote too.  I hate game shows.  Husband has to watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune every night.  I watch the Housewives and TCM.  I like a good movie.  Musicals especially.  Anything with nice scenery too.  Also, I could watch Sex and the City all day long.  When Samantha was on.  In fact it was on last week or so.  I watched all day.

Edited by kristen111
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7 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

my latest pet peeve is people who announce their monthly wedding anniversaries.

This is another one of those things were inaccurate usage is so commonplace it becomes an accepted secondary meaning, but I'm sticking with anniversary as an annual event.

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13 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

The only reason I have cable these days is because it’s packaged with my Internet, which I need because I work from home full time. If I had to go to an office for a portion or all of the week I’d cut the cord. And yes, I too get sick of seeing the same movies, most of which I don’t even care about. Or the ones I do like are on channels not included in my package. 

I must be feeling a little (a lot?) grouchy this weekend because my latest pet peeve is people who announce their monthly wedding anniversaries. Yes, congratulations Katie you’ve been married for three months!  How impressive! And you were together with your husband for 10 years before that anyway. One of my other friends is doing this too and between the hundreds (it seems like) of wedding photos they posted and now the monthly anniversary posts I just want to be like yes we get it. You’re married. 

At the rate marriages are going, soon they will be celebrating divorces too, lol.

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1 hour ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

The only reason I have cable these days is because it’s packaged with my Internet, which I need because I work from home full time. If I had to go to an office for a portion or all of the week I’d cut the cord. And yes, I too get sick of seeing the same movies, most of which I don’t even care about. Or the ones I do like are on channels not included in my package. 

I must be feeling a little (a lot?) grouchy this weekend because my latest pet peeve is people who announce their monthly wedding anniversaries. Yes, congratulations Katie you’ve been married for three months!  How impressive! And you were together with your husband for 10 years before that anyway. One of my other friends is doing this too and between the hundreds (it seems like) of wedding photos they posted and now the monthly anniversary posts I just want to be like yes we get it. You’re married. 

Same.  And also why we have a landline (okay, it's also we could have a landline with the 416 area code...LOL).

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39 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I pay for HBO max. My sister has her own profile, but constantly uses mine. It's so annoying because I lose where I'm at on shows. 

My grandies use it more frequently than I do so when I do go to see what’s on, it’s all Sci-Fi, fantasy and other stuff I don’t watch. It is annoying. 

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21 hours ago, stewedsquash said:
10 hours ago, PRgal said:

If those guys think they’re going to marry again, they’ll have to think again.  

6 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Idiots. Gee, I wonder why their wives left them.

That's harsh. We have no idea how their marriage was or who left who. Maybe their wife was cheating, or an awful human and their divorce is truly a reason to celebrate. Had this business existed I would have totally bought something for my brother-from-another when he broke up with his ex. She is an awful, cruel, manipulative person and her cheating was awful but what he needed to break free from her grasp.

Edited by theredhead77
to clarify who "him" is.
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Peeve: mixed bags of candy that are completely missing one flavor. I opened a bag of mixed-fruit hi-chew and there are no raspberry. It' all black cherry and blueberry. I know the balance is never going to be even but missing an entire flavor is a QC issue. Before anyone asks, I'm reaching out via their customer support page. 

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1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

I pay for HBO max. My sister has her own profile, but constantly uses mine. It's so annoying because I lose where I'm at on shows. 

If I'm remembering correctly, HBO max always leaves the default on the left-most profile (I think they're presented in the order they were created) so she's picking that one because it's the fewest clicks?.  Maybe leave your profile up as a decoy so it doesn't affect you if she uses it, but create a new one with some kind of generic name where you keep your real stuff.  There's probably not a way to transfer all your shows over automatically but at least going forward you'd be good.  And my peeve is that the HBO Max app doesn't default to the profile you used last time.

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23 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

The only reason I have cable these days is because it’s packaged with my Internet, which I need because I work from home full time. If I had to go to an office for a portion or all of the week I’d cut the cord. And yes, I too get sick of seeing the same movies, most of which I don’t even care about. Or the ones I do like are on channels not included in my package. 

I must be feeling a little (a lot?) grouchy this weekend because my latest pet peeve is people who announce their monthly wedding anniversaries. Yes, congratulations Katie you’ve been married for three months!  How impressive! And you were together with your husband for 10 years before that anyway. One of my other friends is doing this too and between the hundreds (it seems like) of wedding photos they posted and now the monthly anniversary posts I just want to be like yes we get it. You’re married. 

It bugged me when my sister got married, and suddenly started addressing things to people like my mum, as Mrs (dad's name). Not just his last name, but his first and last name. As though she ceased being a person, once she had that ring on her finger. 

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3 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Peeve: mixed bags of candy that are completely missing one flavor. I opened a bag of mixed-fruit hi-chew and there are no raspberry. It' all black cherry and blueberry. I know the balance is never going to be even but missing an entire flavor is a QC issue. Before anyone asks, I'm reaching out via their customer support page. 

Agreed, also reminds me of another pet peeve. I love to share my treats, but it's a pet peeve of mine when people take out specific stuff out of a bag/box. I like to try it all or enjoy the mixed taste of something. For example, it's annoying when the trail mix no longer has anything sweet in it.

3 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

If I'm remembering correctly, HBO max always leaves the default on the left-most profile (I think they're presented in the order they were created) so she's picking that one because it's the fewest clicks?.  Maybe leave your profile up as a decoy so it doesn't affect you if she uses it, but create a new one with some kind of generic name where you keep your real stuff.  There's probably not a way to transfer all your shows over automatically but at least going forward you'd be good.  And my peeve is that the HBO Max app doesn't default to the profile you used last time.

Thank you! That is a great idea. 

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5 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Thank you! That is a great idea. 

Ooh. Ooh. You could call the new profile something like “Add payment method” or “cancel subscription” to reduce the chances of anyone else trying to use it. 

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On 8/21/2022 at 9:31 PM, stewedsquash said:

To clarify my above post, which I didn't put a comment in when posting, I think it is great if someone is able to find an outlet to express how they felt after ending a stressful situation, in this instance a divorce. It was serendipity that I had come across the divorce guy yard sign trending earlier and then a post about celebrating divorce here. 

7 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

 but create a new one with some kind of generic name where you keep your real stuff.  

4 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

Ooh. Ooh. You could call the new profile something like “Add payment method” or “cancel subscription” to reduce the chances of anyone else trying to use it. 

My oldest son has his Netflix profile as No!No!No!, his Hulu as This Is Not Your Profile, Disney/Marvel as My Profile, Not Yours! (with Dr. Strange as the pic). He sets up  profiles for me using Michael Scott quotes. 

Edited by stewedsquash
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13 hours ago, Anela said:

It bugged me when my sister got married, and suddenly started addressing things to people like my mum, as Mrs (dad's name). Not just his last name, but his first and last name. As though she ceased being a person, once she had that ring on her finger. 

In my grandmother's obituary (very late 60's) all my married aunts were listed as "Mrs John Smith (Mary)". Not sure why anyone would still use that form of address though!

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