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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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11 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Eventually the college hired a cleaning service for the campus, but prior to that, my Master of Library Science degree duties included cleaning tables.

Wait, the I-school made you clean tables? Or was that during an internship? (I didn't go to I-school myself, but I have worked with/hired many people who did, and this is the first time I've heard about anyone having to clean tables.)

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56 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

Wait, the I-school made you clean tables? Or was that during an internship? (I didn't go to I-school myself, but I have worked with/hired many people who did, and this is the first time I've heard about anyone having to clean tables.)

This was a liberal arts college where I was employed as a librarian after I had my MLS. We all cleaned tables, but after several years, the College finally contracted a company for maintenance that realistically allocated resources needed, so we librarians seldom did any cleaning after that, and students only dusted shelves (with dust masks provided).

Sorry for the confusion. 

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6 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

Wait, so is ASMR the same thing as the “warm fuzzies”?

Yes - well, sort of, there's sometimes an overlap.  It's a bit of a nebulous concept.

But most things shoved out there into broadcast space as ASMR either don't do anything for me or irritate me rather than giving me the tingles, so I share the peeve.  I remember looking up the first Super Bowl commercial to capitalize on this phenomenon that it brought to my attention a couple of years ago, and I'm not any more impressed today.

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Two peeves today (so far) :

People who pass along conspiracy theories or other idiocies and insist they are just "speaking my truth".  I'm not sure where this expression came from but I am pretty sure it was not meant to be invoked by those who are passing off ill informed opinions as fact.

Mainly advertisers who are using words as verbs, that aren't verbs, most recently "That's why I Walmart" and "Your friends will want to chef in this kitchen".

Edited by WinnieWinkle
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15 minutes ago, WinnieWinkle said:

People who pass along conspiracy theories or other idiocies and insist they are just "speaking my truth".  I'm not sure where this expression came from but I am pretty sure it was not meant to be invoked by those who are passing off ill informed opinions as fact.

I hate the term "my truth" in general.  Every set of person does not get their own set of facts. Something is either THE truth, or it is not. This is not in any way, shape, or form, meant to belittle people's individual experiences.  I just don't like the expression.  It's the truth, it's your experience, it's what happened, it's your trauma, whatever.  Just "my truth" bugs the crap out of me.

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1 minute ago, Katy M said:

Just "my truth" bugs the crap out of me.

Same and maybe I'd feel differently if the people I know personally who use it were only referencing their own memories of a past incident but that's not what they're doing.  "I don't care what the experts think about X, this is my truth".  Ugh.

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On 9/1/2021 at 11:17 AM, BexKeps said:

Same here, when it was just the girls and myself, working full-time, running them to practices and events, it was important for my sanity and health to let go of freshly prepared everything. Now that I have a bit more time on my hands I don't mind making from scratch, but I do love the pre-cut veggies that my Wegmans offers! If I can shave off 10-15mins of chopping peppers/onions/carrots that means I get some extra wine-sippin' time! 

Glad he's leaving soon, I dealt with a young boy on a minibike for 2 or 3 years at my old house. He'd zip around on the street unsupervised for hours on end during the warmer months. First was my fear that he'd get hit, 2nd was my annoyance at the sound. :) 

my neighbors do that and a remote control car that makes a lot of noise too.

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2 hours ago, Katy M said:

I hate the term "my truth" in general.  Every set of person does not get their own set of facts. Something is either THE truth, or it is not. This is not in any way, shape, or form, meant to belittle people's individual experiences.  I just don't like the expression.  It's the truth, it's your experience, it's what happened, it's your trauma, whatever.  Just "my truth" bugs the crap out of me.

I have the same problem with "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

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4 hours ago, WinnieWinkle said:

Two peeves today (so far) :

People who pass along conspiracy theories or other idiocies and insist they are just "speaking my truth".  I'm not sure where this expression came from but I am pretty sure it was not meant to be invoked by those who are passing off ill informed opinions as fact.

Mainly advertisers who are using words as verbs, that aren't verbs, most recently "That's why I Walmart" and "Your friends will want to chef in this kitchen".

"But what is truth? Is truth unchanging law?"--just had to quote Jesus Christ Superstar.  I had a class many, many years ago that asked us to define the concepts of truth and also the concept of justice. It was more difficult than it seemed and the class was surprised with the variety of answers.

I am not saying that everything that everyone believes should be accepted universally as fact or truth--just that people need to keep open minds. 

My biggest peeve is not the "my truth" people, but those who dismiss, deride, and mock anyone who disagrees with them out of hand, without having any more independent sources, knowledge, or first-hand experience to back up their "truth."

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The "my truth" thing... IMO it depends on context.  I think it originated with the idea that your experiences are "your truth", while acknowledging that someone else's experiences - even of the same event - can be different.  We are all shaped by our own backgrounds and past events, and that makes us perceive things differently, and sometimes there is no one "truth".  What is true for me might not be true for you.  It allows people to tell their stories, and other people to hear those stories, without getting bogged down in defensiveness.

But there's a massive difference between that and saying things like, "The covid vaccine has killed more people than covid!  I don't have to prove it, that's my truth!"  Actual facts that can be proven one way or another are just "truth", not "my truth" or "your truth".

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My latest pet peeve is Macy's customer service. During their Labor Day sale, I ordered two coats on their website for the upcoming fall/winter season. Got a shipping confirmation with UPS tracking number on 9/8, saying the package will arrive on 9/15. Not only did the package not arrive on 9/15, it hasn't even been picked up by UPS yet, according to the tracking status. I emailed and called customer service multiple times asking them to investigate. At first they promised to call me back the next day, but didn't follow through. When I reached out again they said they couldn't do anything until ten days had passed.

You'd think for a company whose sales have been declining steadily in recent years (even before the pandemic, which impacted many other retailers), they'd make it a priority to deliver impeccable customer service, but apparently the company's leadership doesn't see it that way. Macy's used to be such an iconic brand, but I guess it'll be going the way of Blockbuster if their leadership team and board of directors don't pull their heads out of their respective asses and start making big changes.

Edited by chocolatine
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After a local event was renamed to eliminate a word with a racist connotation, my mother posted a gross comment on Facebook and ended her diatribe with, "It is my opinion, you don't have to agree." My sister sent me a screenshot of it and my mother's "friends'" responses, which were all unfortunately in agreement. I'm massively ashamed of her and glad I'm not on Facebook. She didn't post it on Instagram, where I do have an account, probably because she knew I'd collect her. My mother is 72.

Saying something is "my opinion" doesn't absolve you of assholery nor allow you to dismiss the lived experience of an entire race. You can learn why a name was changed and why the old one was damaging. Do the work to be a better person like you purport to be in your "religion", Mom.

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1 hour ago, Jane Tuesday said:

But there's a massive difference between that and saying things like, "The covid vaccine has killed more people than covid!  I don't have to prove it, that's my truth!"  Actual facts that can be proven one way or another are just "truth", not "my truth" or "your truth".

This. As the saying goes, you're entitled to your own opinion. You aren't entitled to your own facts. 

And even with opinions, you're entitled to have them, yes, but by the same token, people are also entitled to comment on them and do not have to respect them. 

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1 hour ago, chocolatine said:

My latest pet peeve is Macy's customer service. During their Labor Day sale, I ordered two coats on their website for the upcoming fall/winter season. Got a shipping confirmation with UPS tracking number on 9/8, saying the package will arrive on 9/15. Not only did the package not arrive on 9/15, it hasn't even been picked up by UPS yet, according to the tracking status. I emailed and called customer service multiple times asking them to investigate. At first they promised to call me back the next day, but didn't follow through. When I reached out again they said they couldn't do anything until ten days had passed.

You'd think for a company whose sales have been declining steadily in recent years (even before the pandemic, which impacted many other retailers), they'd make it a priority to deliver impeccable customer service, but apparently the company's leadership doesn't see it that way. Macy's used to be such an iconic brand, but I guess it'll be going the way of Blockbuster if their leadership team and board of directors don't pull their heads out of their respective asses and start making big changes.

Oh that's so annoying I'm sorry! I have always had good customer service with Macy's, but it has been a bit since I've done an online order. I hope this isn't the norm now, because I've always loved Macy's. I like that it's a good balance of being a nice department store but also having a lot of affordable items. The downfall of retail makes me sad as a gal who loves to shop. 

 

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3 hours ago, Jane Tuesday said:

The "my truth" thing... IMO it depends on context.  I think it originated with the idea that your experiences are "your truth", while acknowledging that someone else's experiences - even of the same event - can be different.  We are all shaped by our own backgrounds and past events, and that makes us perceive things differently, and sometimes there is no one "truth".  What is true for me might not be true for you.  It allows people to tell their stories, and other people to hear those stories, without getting bogged down in defensiveness.

But there's a massive difference between that and saying things like, "The covid vaccine has killed more people than covid!  I don't have to prove it, that's my truth!"  Actual facts that can be proven one way or another are just "truth", not "my truth" or "your truth".

Of course there are things that can be proven as false, that is not what I meant by my peeve. I more meant what you were stating in your first paragraph.

However, I do have a peeve about people who state something as “fact” when they themselves have no basis for it— no studies, journal articles, etc. and get angry and dismissive when questioned about said “ fact.” Science is based on questions— without questions, there would be no science. 

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On a similar note I can't stand when people say you should respect their 'opinion' based on nothing even if you disagree.  

No, I don't.  Not if you're wrong and having nothing to base it on.  

Especially with vaccines.  If you're arguing you should allow people to make up their own mind in vaccines you are fundamentally not even understanding the point of them and how they work on a population basis. 

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13 hours ago, Adiba said:

Of course there are things that can be proven as false

I was surprised when I looked up definitions of "truth" about how vague it really is.
So.
If I wanted to craft a witty but also helpful retort to an annoying "my truth" that was nobody's truth, would it be correct for me to say something like:
     Keep in mind that "truth" cannot be proven, but your truths might be proven to be false.
?
IDK. It needs work, for sure.
 

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37 minutes ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

On a similar note I can't stand when people say you should respect their 'opinion' based on nothing even if you disagree.  

No, I don't.  Not if you're wrong and having nothing to base it on.  

Especially with vaccines.  If you're arguing you should allow people to make up their own mind in vaccines you are fundamentally not even understanding the point of them and how they work on a population basis. 

Or on fundamentally immoral things and various “—ism”s. Hell no I do not have to “respect” your biases that you call “opinions”!

Related, calling ME a “sheep” for doing what I feel is right while you do the exactly the same thing, only in the opposite direction. “Make up your own mind and don’t fall for what ‘they’ tell you!” Back at you, asshole; your “they” is different than mine (ie, mine are, like, actual people who hold medical degrees), but you’re doing the same thing!

On a lighter note, my DVR has changed its mind about recording that show I mentioned (the one I set and it ignored); now it’s recording every repeat showing, while not letting me correct it. So be it—it clearly it has strong opinions about how to proceed and I’ll just let it do what it feels is best!

Edited by TattleTeeny
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29 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

calling ME a “sheep”

Ooo, being called a sheep curls my hair!
(Well, actually that's the humidity, but being my father's daughter, I can't resist a good play on words.)
But in order to calm down, I just repeat what Mom always said (mostly as an admonishment to me): 
     "The faults that we see in others are most often our own."

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8 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Curious what everyone likes to eat on a first date!

What I'd like to eat under any other circumstance - whatever most appeals to me among the restaurant's selection of regular menu offerings and specials for that particular meal.

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1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

Lack of foods that aren't either messy, cause gas or bad breath. Curious what everyone likes to eat on a first date!

There aren't a ton of attractive vegetarian options. 

A vegetarian rice or noodle* dish is always good, or if the restaurant has large/filling salad options as a main course, that can also work.

As for bad breath, I wouldn't worry so much since your date is presumably also eating a meal from the same kitchen. I carry a tin of mints with me and pass them around after a meal (not just on dates, but also when I'm dining with friends/family/coworkers).

* Some people find eating long noodles like spaghetti or pad thai to be messy, but I always ask for a spoon and fork (even in Asian restaurants) because that's the only way I can eat it neatly.

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On 9/17/2021 at 2:29 PM, Adiba said:

"But what is truth? Is truth unchanging law?"--just had to quote Jesus Christ Superstar.  I had a class many, many years ago that asked us to define the concepts of truth and also the concept of justice. It was more difficult than it seemed and the class was surprised with the variety of answers.

I am not saying that everything that everyone believes should be accepted universally as fact or truth--just that people need to keep open minds. 

My biggest peeve is not the "my truth" people, but those who dismiss, deride, and mock anyone who disagrees with them out of hand, without having any more independent sources, knowledge, or first-hand experience to back up their "truth."

Truth is that which is the case.

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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I thought of all of the late sleepers here this morning when my next door neighbor started raking her driveway at 7 a.m. Even I thought that was rude. At least I waited until 8 yesterday to push an a/c unit out of the window.

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40 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Truth is that which is the case.

Trying this on for size here as a response:

  • [Kool-Aid Drinker] I'm just speaking my truth.
  • [shapeshifter] Truth is that which is the case.
  • [Kool-Aid Drinker] {befuddled silence} 
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17 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

There aren't a ton of attractive vegetarian options. 

My peeve is regular restaurants (not counting some regional cuisines) not having a lot of vegetarian options period. There's usually the deep-fried cheese, which is not for me as I don't eat deep fried food, some salad, which I don't like either and maybe one or two pasta options.

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On 9/17/2021 at 2:29 PM, Adiba said:

I am not saying that everything that everyone believes should be accepted universally as fact or truth--just that people need to keep open minds. 

My biggest peeve is not the "my truth" people, but those who dismiss, deride, and mock anyone who disagrees with them out of hand, without having any more independent sources, knowledge, or first-hand experience to back up their "truth."

Ditto,  I find myself peeved with the "my truth" people but I often feel like the people arguing with the "my truth people" are in fact also "my truth" people a lot of the time even if they don't utter that stupid, stupid phrase.  Because frankly, the level of misinformation or spin going around leads me to the opinion that people are often arguing bitterly about topics that they don't have enough facts to back up their "truth".

My work trained my brain to look three steps ahead for the unintended consequences across a broad range of possibilities and plan for them. And I instinctually apply that to everything; which annoys me to no end because that low level hum of anxiety at all times is the gift that keeps on giving these days. 

Just generally speaking, anyone who is arguing like there is a clear cut truth without acknowledging that the opposing opinion hasn't germinated from some (often legitimate) concern over something just comes across to me as right fighting and not really understanding people at all.  To me it adds nothing constructive to the world.

I find myself hoping a lot that people on social media don't act in their real life the way they say that do on social media. 

It seems like responding with anger and hurling labels like extremist at people is the least productive way of handling anything.  Its just going to make people dig in to their position.  Frankly, the worse thing about the mandates is that its making not getting the vaccine a form of protest against a variety of things that aren't really about the efficacy of the vaccine.

It seems like it would be better to acknowledge that handling of communication and policy about a lot of the stuff going on could have been done or explained a thousand times better and suggesting that this needs to put aside and for the sake of themselves, family, and friends they should consult with their physician who knows their situation and then make a decision.  And if they've done that or won't do that, then just shut up about it because its just going to entrench their POV further and raise the volume.

Here is why I think this.  The news about the FDA response to the booster came out

One news outlet leads with the "approved for narrow group" and buries the "not approved wider group" 

Another news outlet leads with the "not approved wider group" and buries the "approved for narrow group"

My doctor sends a newsletter that is completely straight forward and pragmatic.

Its a reminder that everything we hear is playing to the base and to the ratings and to the narrative they want.  Talk to your Doctor who knows your situation.  And base your decisions on that. And when you are talking to other people, keep in mind that you and they are both being manipulated to be emotional and take a step back to try to give people the benefit of the doubt and try to help instead of trying to win.

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We finally went to the drive-in last night, only to find that the speakers didn't work... they were broadcasting everything over two different radio stations that we were supposed to tune our radio to. That would have been fine, had my dad not switched out his work vans. We were in the one that had been at the garage for months, and had air-conditioning that worked. The other one is at the garage - and that's the one that has an FM radio. My dad was going to order another radio, whenever he got the van, but then didn't want to spend something like $100, when he didn't absolutely need it. 

So we had to get our money back, and come home. I have been so depressed. I was trying to just fob it off, but I started to cry, once we got home. I can't believe none of the speakers worked. They did last year. 

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2 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

Ditto,  I find myself peeved with the "my truth" people but I often feel like the people arguing with the "my truth people" are in fact also "my truth" people a lot of the time even if they don't utter that stupid, stupid phrase.  Because frankly, the level of misinformation or spin going around leads me to the opinion that people are often arguing bitterly about topics that they don't have enough facts to back up their "truth".

My work trained my brain to look three steps ahead for the unintended consequences across a broad range of possibilities and plan for them. And I instinctually apply that to everything; which annoys me to no end because that low level hum of anxiety at all times is the gift that keeps on giving these days. 

Just generally speaking, anyone who is arguing like there is a clear cut truth without acknowledging that the opposing opinion hasn't germinated from some (often legitimate) concern over something just comes across to me as right fighting and not really understanding people at all.  To me it adds nothing constructive to the world.

I find myself hoping a lot that people on social media don't act in their real life the way they say that do on social media. 

It seems like responding with anger and hurling labels like extremist at people is the least productive way of handling anything.  Its just going to make people dig in to their position.  Frankly, the worse thing about the mandates is that its making not getting the vaccine a form of protest against a variety of things that aren't really about the efficacy of the vaccine.

It seems like it would be better to acknowledge that handling of communication and policy about a lot of the stuff going on could have been done or explained a thousand times better and suggesting that this needs to put aside and for the sake of themselves, family, and friends they should consult with their physician who knows their situation and then make a decision.  And if they've done that or won't do that, then just shut up about it because its just going to entrench their POV further and raise the volume.

Here is why I think this.  The news about the FDA response to the booster came out

One news outlet leads with the "approved for narrow group" and buries the "not approved wider group" 

Another news outlet leads with the "not approved wider group" and buries the "approved for narrow group"

My doctor sends a newsletter that is completely straight forward and pragmatic.

Its a reminder that everything we hear is playing to the base and to the ratings and to the narrative they want.  Talk to your Doctor who knows your situation.  And base your decisions on that. And when you are talking to other people, keep in mind that you and they are both being manipulated to be emotional and take a step back to try to give people the benefit of the doubt and try to help instead of trying to win.

In the parking lot of the grocery store tonight, I saw a van covered in posters and writing. I don't know if I can mention it all here, but it was definitely extreme. There was some kind of fencing on the top, that looked like barbed wire. It was insane. I have no problem saying that. I try to understand where people are coming from, but that person is the type that worries me. I don't think there would be nearly so much arguing, if it wasn't affecting so much offline. 

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3 minutes ago, Anela said:

In the parking lot of the grocery store tonight, I saw a van covered in posters and writing. I don't know if I can mention it all here, but it was definitely extreme. There was some kind of fencing on the top, that looked like barbed wire. It was insane. I have no problem saying that. I try to understand where people are coming from, but that person is the type that worries me. I don't think there would be nearly so much arguing, if it wasn't affecting so much offline. 

I'm not saying extremism doesn't exist.  But that it does is why its so dangerous to go straight to that word when it doesn't apply. And people are doing that.  They are doing that a whole lot.

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4 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

I'm not saying extremism doesn't exist.  But that it does is why its so dangerous to go straight to that word when it doesn't apply. And people are doing that.  They are doing that a whole lot.

I agree, but I think that applies to the conspiracies floating around, because it takes away from reality - like side-effects that do exist for some people. Throwing around really out-there stories about things, takes away from the real ones that people might take seriously, if they weren't bombarded with everything that's currently flying around.

I can't really give an example, which is frustrating, but I also appreciate that this board doesn't allow certain topics, because I need a break from it. It's everywhere, and this place is the only place that I really get one. I'm going to shut up now, because I can rant, but I don't want to.

Edited by Anela
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12 hours ago, Anela said:

We finally went to the drive-in last night, only to find that the speakers didn't work... they were broadcasting everything over two different radio stations that we were supposed to tune our radio to. That would have been fine, had my dad not switched out his work vans. We were in the one that had been at the garage for months, and had air-conditioning that worked. The other one is at the garage - and that's the one that has an FM radio. My dad was going to order another radio, whenever he got the van, but then didn't want to spend something like $100, when he didn't absolutely need it. 

So we had to get our money back, and come home. I have been so depressed. I was trying to just fob it off, but I started to cry, once we got home. I can't believe none of the speakers worked. They did last year. 

Reading this↑ I can imagine your experience being a scene in a movie.
--perhaps a movie others will watch at the drive-in in the 2030s.
Probably a sad movie I wouldn't watch, but maybe an Oscar winner.  ;)

Anyway, if you want to give the drive-in another try, and if either of you have an iPhone, and if you can determine ahead of time the call numbers/letters for the FM station you need to hear the drive-in audio, you should be able to press the Home Button on the iPhone so the swirly circle appears and then say "Play WBEZ" --except it would be whatever the call letters are for that station.

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10 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

Guests that take early morning flights requiring me to take them to the airport at 5:30 am. 

I did it for friends when we were young and I knew shelling out for a cab would mean something to their budget, but now?  That's a big nope.  If I was staying with someone, I generally wouldn't schedule a late night flight in/out, and, if I did, I wouldn't burden my host with picking me up/taking me; odd hour transportation is on me.

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1 hour ago, Bastet said:

I did it for friends when we were young and I knew shelling out for a cab would mean something to their budget, but now?  That's a big nope.  If I was staying with someone, I generally wouldn't schedule a late night flight in/out, and, if I did, I wouldn't burden my host with picking me up/taking me; odd hour transportation is on me.

To be fair, it was my 75 year old mother in law, but still - 5:30 am!

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12 minutes ago, ABay said:

Whenever I see a post that begins with "Does anybody else think... or "Am I the only one who..." I am so tempted to respond "No" to the first and "Yes" to the second.

LOL, same. I especially tend to think this whenever I'm in a discussion in one of my fandoms somewhere, where people are sharing opinions they think are totally unpopular and it turns out that no, actually, they're pretty popular. In fact, they're usually about topics that have been hashed out countless times already :p. 

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I've posted this before, but loving to bake and not having anyone to bake for anymore. Prior to covid, I'd sometimes take cookies into work or bake for parties. My circle of folks is either diabetic or super into fitness, so the main person who consumes my treats is me. I recently baked cookies, and I ate almost all of them. 😳

 

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On 9/19/2021 at 6:19 AM, ABay said:

I thought of all of the late sleepers here this morning when my next door neighbor started raking her driveway at 7 a.m. Even I thought that was rude. At least I waited until 8 yesterday to push an a/c unit out of the window.

Were you trying to hit your neighbour with it?  :-)

 

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8 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I've posted this before, but loving to bake and not having anyone to bake for anymore. Prior to covid, I'd sometimes take cookies into work or bake for parties. My circle of folks is either diabetic or super into fitness, so the main person who consumes my treats is me. I recently baked cookies, and I ate almost all of them. 😳

 

I know the feeling. I bake for relaxation. I've found a great outlet in my dad's care facility. Those poor, overworked (especially these last eighteen months) people adore getting home baked goods.

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I used to find baking bread very soothing. But I now can buy sprouted grain bread (better for pre-diabetes condition), and while I might like sprouting the grains, I'd have to get a food processor, and I don't know that the kneading and rising would be the same--which was the soothing part.

 

Pet peeve I'm trying to get over that I mentioned some weeks ago:
For 40 years --including 20 in California and 20 in Illinois-- I've never had to begin reciting my phone number with the words "area code," but now in Western NY I do. It feels like a telecommunications time warp. 

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