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S14.E01: May The Gods Of Good Pies Be With Us!


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I seem to remember this being brought up on other message boards when NeNe Leakes was on CA - If I recall correctly, celebrities are paid a lump sum, or base salary, to start, and then, they are paid continuously for each episode they stay without being eliminated or "fired".  

This makes sense to me because Piers even said something like "if I were your agent" to Keisha, implying that it would be in her financial best interest NOT to be fired from the show...

The people on reality shows tend to be ok with drama for dramas sake because they know the camera doesn't want to watch them on the couch eating Cheetos. So then they take part in a storyline...and then try to outdo each other with the name calling. Brandi loves to say things just for effect then play the victim. She's a train wreck and is well casted for this show for drama. Have never seen the Atlanta housewives but I guess they are even worse, which is scary.

 

You've never seen the ATL Housewives but guess they are worse based on ____?

 

Identifying her as a "movie star" was already the show being pretty generous. Admittedly Kill Bill and Independence Day are two huge credits to have under your belt, but those (EDIT - okay, and maybe "Booty Call") are most of her movie career (other than tons of Direct to Video fodder).

That's just not true.  Vivica has a long movie career including successful mainstream and independent movies.  Some of her notable ones (aside from what you mentioned) are Soul Food, Two Can Play That Game, Set It Off and Why Do Fools Fall In Love.  She also has appeared on many television shows.

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Gilbert Godfried is mindfucking everyone there - fellow contestants, Trumps, and court jester/cheering squads like Piers. I have a feeling he's learned from his spiritual predecessors on how not to go too far: Penn and Tom Green, and to tow the line when it comes to having to choose between continuing to slip in digs and commentary at the farce that this all is or breaking character and getting righteous ala Adam Carolla.

 

And for now I'm on Ian's side. I can always root for an aww shucks guy/gal. So far he comes across as having the humility we all wish Stevie B had at their comparable umm level. Like you can tell mispronouncing his name or being presumed to be among the bottom of the fundraising list even AFTER it was made known that he was not hurts his feelings, but not in a chip-on-his-shoulder sort of way.

 

I like the two Olympians as well. They seem very "What are we doing here?!" but not like deer in headlights. They seem pretty chill and whatevs and are ready to snark on the Housewives, Kate, Vivica, Geraldo and whomever else needs their egos kept in check.

Edited by Tandaemonium
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I think he's probably just trying to capitalize on his fame from the Deadliest Catch as much as he can and for as long as he can. To pad his nest egg, maybe, so he can retire at some point and not end up like poor Captain Phil!

Hope so. Seems like the kind of job you'd want to retire from at an earlier age if you could.  During one episode, a factoid popped up on screen prior to commercial break that said Alaskan fishing is the most dangerous job in the world.  I wonder if it's because of the cold temps, slippery decks and equipment they use? Or because of all the cigarettes and booze they drink while out on the high seas for weeks. Combo of both?

 

If I'm wrong I apologize but my post was a general warning to those who might not be familiar with any of the mega drama that will come with this casting.

I don't think you're wrong.  Brandi is vile but I've never seen her resort, yet, to the brutish (physical) behavior that some of the Atlanta housewives have. Some of the New Jersey cast is awful like that, too. Brandi did slap a RHOBH cast member but so far, no lunging across a room and tackling anyone or pulling anyone's weave almost off. 

 

I'd watch Brandi try to flip Trump's table, though. 

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I'm a diehard DC watcher, too, Friedbaloney.  Sig seems to be much easier going when he's not captaining, which is probably a good thing for the rest of these twits.  I can't see him having much patience with the "celebrity" phoniness and posturing.  I am very curious to see if he keeps a relatively low profile and slips under the radar; I hope to hell he doesn't kiss up to that fucking purse-lipped candied yam.

 

I missed this, the first time around.  Purse-lipped candied yam. Best description of Donald Trump I've ever heard, walnutqueen!  Dead.

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Does Ian know that the sharks and The Peach Pit aren't real? He kept talking about his experiences fighting sharks and working at The Peach Pit like those were real jobs he was doing, not parts he was playing.

I think Ian and Lorenzo aren't the brightest bulbs.  They might of taken out loans and paid to be on the show.

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No, actually, they're not that bad. I quit watching other franchises except for ATL. Their relatives, however, can be a different story. Kromm, give Brandi time and you'll find out what she's like when she thinks she may be in trouble of going home, or when she doesn't get her way. Like the petulant child she is, she'll start dropping F-bombs right and left, and telling others to STFU. Then smile sweetly at Donald and say "I didn't really mean it. I was just joking."

I couldn't help but wonder if they edited IN more of the Cosby talk based on the scandal? And Keisha saying she didn't call because she hadn't spoken to him in years really made my hair stand on end. The big ol' elephant in the room was starting to get too comfy for me.

Atlanta Housewives? With the exception of Kenya, who may have little in the way of manners ...the rest of the cast is scary and dumb.   Tell them to go to the boardroom and they would end up at Home Depot in the drywall dept.

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I missed this, the first time around.  Purse-lipped candied yam. Best description of Donald Trump I've ever heard, walnutqueen!  Dead.

 

ryebread - I've referred to Trump as a purse-lipped prick (and much, much worse!) since the first time I saw him, but when Stephen Colbert called him a candied yam, I just had to incorporate it.  If I could've worked in a clever reference to Bill Maher's orangutan/birth certificate joke, I'd have myself a trifecta.  :-)

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ryebread - I've referred to Trump as a purse-lipped prick (and much, much worse!) since the first time I saw him, but when Stephen Colbert called him a candied yam, I just had to incorporate it.  If I could've worked in a clever reference to Bill Maher's orangutan/birth certificate joke, I'd have myself a trifecta.  :-)

You are a gem of walnutty goodness, Walnutqueen.  I didn't know about Bill Maher's joke.  For those of you who also aren't familiar, this is hilarious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdEiCGyLlGk  1:50 and the lawyer's letter are my favorite bits. 

 

Topic?  One of the teams should have created a candied yam pie.

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"I don't watch the Real Housewives but I already can't stand either of those women."

Arkay, I watch them all (wasted life lol) and trust me Brandi is the worst of the worst. If you can't stand her now, just wait till you get to "know her" a little better.

*Edited because I'm still working on how to do quotes. And still failing.

Edited by Rbonnie
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I've heard Bill Cosby is the antithesis of Cliff Huxtable for years and years.

 

I agree with you.  Whilst I might not have contacted Cosby directly, I would have had "my" people call "his" people and see if he'd be interested in donating since it was for charity and all.

 

The onus would be on him for being a tightfisted assclown if he turned down helping "Rudy" with a charitable donation.  

 

Would have been a win/win for Keisha.  

I doubt he would have helped her or she would have called him.  Years ago I worked someplace where Cosby had an account.  He was very much the opposite of Cliff Huxtable.  I never spoke with him but I read some correspondence and my superior had to deal with him and it wasn't pretty. 

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I doubt he would have helped her or she would have called him.  Years ago I worked someplace where Cosby had an account.  He was very much the opposite of Cliff Huxtable.  I never spoke with him but I read some correspondence and my superior had to deal with him and it wasn't pretty.

 

I've always perceived him to be very arrogant.   I'm assuming that's correct.

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I am watching this for the total chaos that will surely ensue between Kenya, Brandi and Kate.  They were either absolute geniuses or idiots to cast the 3 of them at the same time.  I wasn't even aware that shawn was on it - so GO SHAWN!!!  I live in the same city as her :) 

I was also very impressed with how Shawn handled herself in the board room, I thought she'd be a bit more shy and nervous but she seemed very comfortable when having to answer Trump. 

 

And it seemed to me that Kate and the snow boarder girl did most of the cooking work so I was kinda surprised that Kate didn't get any recognition for that. I think it killed her that the snowboarder girl got all the credit for the winning pie.

And it seemed to me that Kate and the snow boarder girl did most of the cooking work so I was kinda surprised that Kate didn't get any recognition for that. I think it killed her that the snowboarder girl got all the credit for the winning pie.

Well cooking and coming up with the recipe aren't necessarily the same thing.  It looked like there was a beginning bit where they made a big bunch of the filling, and maybe that was mainly the snowboarder girl and her judgment, and then Kate was more of a soldier helping fill pie crusts and put them back in the oven.

The only one I'm really interested in is Syg--since I watched every single one of the Deadliest Catch episodes.  (He's a lot shorter than I thought he was!) I think he'll probably do well if he gets a chance to be project manager.

 

 

They've shown previews of him screaming on a couple of different occasions, so I expect there will be an issue.  I think he makes a good team member because he respects authority and has a good work ethic, so he's not going to slouch in terms of carrying his weight.  However, as a boss?  He's used to COMPLETE authority, and you're never going to have that with a bunch of celebrity bozos.   So when he screams, I don't expect people to say "wow - Sig's mad, better do what he says right away."  And that's what he's used to.

 

I wouldn't worry about his bank account, though -- he's pretty loaded.  He seems to have limited the crazy out of control spending to his youth,  as opposed to so many of the guys who have fished for decades and have nothing to show for it.  When the show first started I remember him saying it wasn't money -- he could retire right then if he wanted to. 

 

Interesting that the Jonas guy used the term “bloviating” to describe Geraldo.  George Will famously called Trump a “bloviating ignoramus.”

 

What astonished me most this episode?  Geraldo can’t speak Spanish!

Edited by kassa
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Keshia being fired for not bringing Cosby on the show reminds me of a few seasons ago, when Trump fired Michael Andretti for not giving Buick the public Andretti endorsement he probably promised the execs. "You had ONE job..."

I don't see a product tie-in here, so a better example may be the very first CA firing, when the Playboy Playmate didn't call Hef.

I live in NYC and this is the first time I have ever heard of Pie Face. Maybe that's why they need to be featured on reality show challenges, lol. Looks like crappy food.

 

I lurve Pie Face. The sweet is awesome (yummy apple, lemon, chocolate...) and the savory pretty good too. And they're cute! Tiny food with happy faces; what's not to love?

 

It is an Australia chain but I think they moved too fast.  Last time I looked they had closed all of their NYC stores.

 

 

I really wished I could have afforded a franchise, and investigated it - although in retrospect probably a good idea I couldn't! Last I heard the original store was the only one open.

 

 

CA is the flame, and I am the moth - I can't not be drawn to it, and watch it, even though doing so eats my soul and leaves me spitting mad.  It's one of the very few shows I actually hate-watch (State of Affairs is the only other current), and each season I vow with solemn oaths never to watch again.  And then I do, as soon as a new one is shown.  I haven't actually watched last night's episode yet, but it seems to have run 100% true to form, guaranteed to make me shriek aloud my hatred of Trump.  Can't wait.  

 

I'm ashamed of myself. I detest and ABHOR Trump and feel like CA is a weak sauce version of the real thing. But I cannot resist some of the cannon fodder interactions, and I continue to mourn REAL Apprentice. So, here I find myself. I wish I knew how to quit you, Apprentice (in all incarnations).

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And when voice-over guy referred to Ian Ziering as "television icon" in the show opening, I asked my husband (who was watching Revolution in another room) just how the hell I was supposed to watch this by myself when they were already throwing out gems like that right out of the gate?!?

Wow, you guys sure are gluttons for punishment! ;)

  ITA.There was a day when Apprentices, if not the Celeb ones, sold items (even rented apartments!) and won on that basis alone. What is the frickin’ point of making pies or sandwiches or anything to sell, if the Rolodex is all that matters? Just put these people in a room with nice chairs and let them cajole and wheedle their contacts for an hour. Sadly, Piers was 100% correct in his advice. They all DO know to line up donors before the show’s filming begins, right? :-P

 

 

This is my first post ever!  I should probably be embarrassed that the first show that inspired me to post and stop lurking was Celebrity Apprentice, but I'm not.  My comments:

 

1.  I don't mind the fundraising tasks.  Not every task on CA is about bringing in money, so contestants without the Piers Morgan sized Rolodex can still compete.  Which leads me to my next point....

2.  People that go on this show know there will be fundraising tasks, so why do they not line up some donors ahead of time?  I mean they are "celebrities", although that term gets used very loosely these days.  They know people with money, even if just casually.  It's for charity and everyone love positive publicity.  I find it very hard to believe that some of these people have absolutely NO ONE to call. Hell even I could get someone to throw more than $100 bucks my way, especially for charity on a TV show.

3.  For some reason I've always like Lorenzo Lamas.  I also like "Eye-on".  Gilbert Godfried made me literally laugh out loud with supervising the balloons.  Geraldo doesn't bother me either.  I like Shawn and the other Olympic medalist, can't remember her name but I liked her boardroom outfit.  Like both Vivica and Leeza but both have had a bit too much work done on their face or if not something there is off.

4.  Don't like Kenya or the Jonas brother.

5.  Whoever I didn't mention I probably don't know who they are.

 

I am a little amazed at the lack of preparation from a good # of the contestants.  This show has been on air for a while.  There's always 2-3 fundraising challenges where the rolodex is important.  Line up people ahead of time.  Trump is stuck in the 70s and 80s.   And he's stuck on big names.  Be prepared to talk about your celebrity in that era and who you might know.  If you have a bad or nonexistent relationship with someone that your name is attached to, have a story at the ready.  Also, you're going to have to name your team.  Brainstorm before you get there.  Come up with something to say so that you're not stuck with Vortex.    A little advance prep people!

 

For Keshia, I don't know if she had an incident with Bill Cosby but clearly she didn't feel comfortable in reaching out to him.  While this is before the whole Hannibal Burress blast, it wasn't that much of a secret.  She should have known someone would mention his name.  And have been prepared with an out.  Something innocuous like, Mr Cosby is very generous to charities he supports like his Alma Matter, he focuses on education (or something).  If Trump/Piers/whoever persists, respond in kind.  Mr Trump, think about if you got calls from all the Miss America (or USA whichever is his) contestants, you can't support everyone's charities.  And then give up a name of someone who did contribute.  Like Phylicia Rashad.

 

And hell, give yourself through family! 

 

I totally agree that the sides are very uneven.  Johnny Damon's pockets and rolodex is going to be much fatter than an Olympic athlete.  I'm surprised Meryl wasn't on the woman's team.

 

I did like how Kenya got trapped trying to toss Kate G under the bus by calling her lazy.  Oh you're the lazy one Kenya, you didn't even take the effort to pick the right insult!

 

No one on the men's team annoys me too much yet.  Sig looks like he's going to be annoying.  The Jonas brother is a bit full of himself but eh.  On the women's team, the athletes bore me.  Vivica is eh.  Kate doesn't bother me yet.  I'm kinda used to her personality.  I'm also used to Kenya and Brandi since I'm a RH devote but I don't like either and am not looking forward to them continuing.

 

One of the stupid things Trump said was criticizing Keshia going up against Geraldo in a fund raising challenge.  This wasn't picked out in the open like some challenges are so how would she know who she was up against?

 

And Piers can DIAF.  I'd be hard pressed to be polite to that blowhard. 

 

One season, people were able to fax their donations in.  It sounded like in this challenge, the donations had to be hand delivered.  OK.  What about an online donation?  Why didn't one of the millennials who grew up with social media (as 3 of them had to repeatedly tell us), create a donate button via PayPal (or on FB) for this purpose?  Then all the checks that were outside of NYC could make it.  As could the Twitter fans also contribute.

 

And shut up Piers about the women wasting time on SM.  If it is an in-person fundraiser, does it matter how many total followers you have or rather how many that are local?  And if it's about big checks and not sales, then it doesn't matter at all does it?  #jackass.

 

During one episode, a factoid popped up on screen prior to commercial break that said Alaskan fishing is the most dangerous job in the world.  I wonder if it's because of the cold temps, slippery decks and equipment they use? Or because of all the cigarettes and booze they drink while out on the high seas for weeks. Combo of both?

Can't speak for Sig's crew or anyone else's but I have a friend who does work on a similar fishing boat that sails to Alaska and it IS a dangerous job- cold temperatures (winter time), wild weather/storms, slippery decks (storms AND slippery decks is even worse)- equipment, the cargo itself- hauling the pallets you name it-- long work hours(I believe at times 16+ hours)- at least a month at sea.  Very little time for smoking (some do- my friend quit a while back) and as far as I know I don't think they are even allowed to drink- maybe in port stops on their own time.

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Interesting that the Jonas guy used the term “bloviating” to describe Geraldo.  George Will famously called Trump a “bloviating ignoramus.”

 

What astonished me most this episode?  Geraldo can’t speak Spanish!

Bloviate is a great term that should be used more. I didn't know about the Trump history with the term, and it's interesting that got past Trump's representatives on the production staff (or even Trump himself, who certainly must have seen a final edit before it aired).

Supposedly he does speak Spanish. Then again it could just be another empty Gerry Rivera claim to pile on top of his many others. I personally was unable to find any online footage of him speaking Spanish, but he's half Puerto Rican and had plenty of relatives on his father's side to teach him. This article describes his family situation, and it sounds like he SHOULD know Spanish from it: http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/opinion/2014/05/16/geraldo-rivera-on-being-jew-rican-rare-mixed-breed/

As for that Jonas kid? Fuggedabout him! He's a nobody!!!

 

For Keshia, I don't know if she had an incident with Bill Cosby but clearly she didn't feel comfortable in reaching out to him.  While this is before the whole Hannibal Burress blast, it wasn't that much of a secret.  She should have known someone would mention his name.  And have been prepared with an out.  Something innocuous like, Mr Cosby is very generous to charities he supports like his Alma Matter, he focuses on education (or something).  If Trump/Piers/whoever persists, respond in kind.  Mr Trump, think about if you got calls from all the Miss America (or USA whichever is his) contestants, you can't support everyone's charities.  And then give up a name of someone who did contribute.  Like Phylicia Rashad.

Phylicia Rashad is very much in Cosby's corner (coming out TODAY in fact with a big statement that she thinks these are coordinated attacks on Cosby designed to "destroy his legacy"--a statement her sister Debbie Allen also made last year). I guess I'm saying that I bet Keshia isn't any more in contact with Rashad than she is Cosby, because Rashad seems like an apologist/stringent defender of Cosby and if Keshia really was wary of Cosby, going to Rashad or keeping in touch with her over the years seems almost as unlikely.

Edited by MarkHB
Quoted unshielded spoiler
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Funny, I get the opposite read from Ian.  I think he's in on the joke, and seems competent, willing to work hard, and plays a "clean" game. 

 

I agree.  I've been a fan of Ian's since his 90210 days and he's always come across as a humble, laid back and a generally nice guy.  I hope he goes far here.

 

As far as Lorenzo goes, I saw his episode of Celebrity Wife Swap and was impressed with him.  I didn't think much about him beforehand - - knew him from Falcon's Crest and his marriages/relationships and felt he was probably a boneheaded player - - but I thought he seemed very likable and down to earth on CWS.  He also seemed game for the show and very appreciative of his fans.

 

I'm sorry that Keisha was fired but not surprised.  If the task is going to be primarily about fundraising, the teams need to be more even.  I'm sure everyone assumed that Keisha would have the big fish Cosby on her line but as others have pointed out, Jesse James showed that wasn't a given. 

 

Does Kate ever shut the fuck up?  Holy cow, I wanted to throat punch her.  She can't get fired soon enough in my book.

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I find it strange that you would agree to be cast on this show and not have donations lined up. Or maybe they're required to sign a contract stating they won't contact anyone before filming the episode? I can see someone like Geraldo, who works for Fox News, telling his coworkers he's going to be on CA and they respond by saying they want to donate. I'm not always a fan Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly, however both are very generous and give away a lot of money. I wasn't surprised to hear that they each gave 10k to Geraldo.

What does blow my mind is that Kate and Lorenzo had $0 in donations. That said, other than that I thought they both pulled their weight in the task and we're certainly not "lazy". Brandi can go choke herself, she's as much of a bitch as Kate, but at least Kate isn't a trampy trash mouth.

I really felt bad for Keisha and I'm sorry she's gone, but dang, girl, you should've rung up BC -- so what if you haven't spoken in 5 years, it's for charity!! And yes, I do believe he's guilty of the many allegations of sexual misconduct -- but, that aside, I think he would have generously given to Keisha's charity that she created.

That board room must have been something else. About half the women were in tears which really kind of stunned me.

Edited by msblossom
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What does blow my mind is that Kate and Lorenzo had $0 in donations. That said, I thought they both pulled their weight in the task and we're certainly not "lazy".

 

 

Here is the rub with celebrities like Kate and Lorenzo - - surely you don't want to bring a low number in donation-wise but you also don't want to use up the people you have on stand-by on tasks where you aren't the PM.   

 

This is part of what is wrong with the straight up fundraiser tasks - -  people with limited resources/contacts are going to come up short if they aren't PM (and sometimes even if they are.)  

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In hindsight, what needed to happen for the women's team is that the biggest fundraiser, whoever that is, needed to step up as PM for this first task because that is how Joan Rivers' team won the first task in her season. Did they say which woman raised the most? (If it was Keshia, then never mind.) I feel the men's team, since they have a deeper bench, it is not as crucial that your biggest fundraiser go first, but for the women, it is.

I agree with you psychoticstate, but could they not have not tried to tap into say 2 or 3 contacts that would have netted each $500-$600? Surely they know some people that would happily give smaller donations without having to tap into the big donors reserved for later. That's kinda lame on their part and selfish bc no one is guaranteed they'll survive before becoming pm.

This is part of what is wrong with the straight up fundraiser tasks - -  people with limited resources/contacts are going to come up short if they aren't PM (and sometimes even if they are.)

 

Yea, you're kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you know you're not going to be able to pull much money, you definitely don't want to give it all out when you're not the PM, in case you end up needing it later. BUT....then DT gets all over your ass for not raising any. I.HATE.FUNDRAISER.TASKS. 

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Um, I haven't had the chance to watch any episode but the first one, and so I'm reading the comments in the section that only pertains to that episode. I guess there's no reason to watch the next one, since I now know who was fired.

RBonnie, ITA. I love Previously TV because they have separate episode threads and I also wish people would confine their remarks to this episode only, or at least use spoiler tags. The commenter did spoil the next episode by alluding to how long someone "lasted."

Edited by Arkay
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Bloviate is a great term that should be used more. I didn't know about the Trump history with the term, and it's interesting that got past Trump's representatives on the production staff (or even Trump himself, who certainly must have seen a final edit before it aired).

Supposedly he does speak Spanish. Then again it could just be another empty Gerry Rivera claim to pile on top of his many others. I personally was unable to find any online footage of him speaking Spanish, but he's half Puerto Rican and had plenty of relatives on his father's side to teach him. This article describes his family situation, and it sounds like he SHOULD know Spanish from it: http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/opinion/2014/05/16/geraldo-rivera-on-being-jew-rican-rare-mixed-breed/

As for that Jonas kid? Fuggedabout him! He's a nobody!!!

 

Phylicia Rashad is very much in Cosby's corner (coming out TODAY in fact with a big statement that she thinks these are coordinated attacks on Cosby designed to "destroy his legacy"--a statement her sister Debbie Allen also made last year). I guess I'm saying that I bet Keshia isn't any more in contact with Rashad than she is Cosby, because Rashad seems like an apologist/stringent defender of Cosby and if Keshia really was wary of Cosby, going to Rashad or keeping in touch with her over the years seems almost as unlikely.

Yea, today I read that.  I posted that yesterday.  My comment overall still stands.  Keshia could have called someone that she did know from her Cosby family days and mentioned that person's name as giving a donation.

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