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Erin and Chad: Fifty Shades of Pink

Meredith Quill

By Meredith Quill
in Bringing Up Bates

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Meow Mix
Meow Mix

Here's what really annoys me about Chad and Erin.  They both actually have skills that should have allowed them to take care of themselves financially.  They aren't Jill and Dave Rodrigues who have no

Peanut6711
Peanut6711

Usually just a lurker, but had to chime in and agree that something is fishy.  A fraction of an ovary coupled with the onset of menopausal symptoms, which would suggest that partial ovary was shutting

BitterApple
BitterApple

That set-up is absolutely ridiculous, especially the triple bunk bed. Those poor girls are going to conk their heads every time they sit up. I felt claustrophobic just looking at it. Erin also wasted

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zenme

zenme

Yeah, Carson is adorable, but the poop stained jammies are not.

 

True, but I will let that pass since everything Carson does is probably adorable to them. 

 

This was a cute episode, and I really don't think Chad can be any sweeter.  It's been said before, but he really is seemingly perfect spouse.  He really loves that girl. 

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Sew Sumi

Sew Sumi

Seriously, how many pregnancies can she realistically sustain without difficulty? The heparin shots are a must, and the risks for both mama and baby are still present through delivery. If she keeps up with the quiverfull mantra, she's going to lose that lottery at some point. :( 

 

If she's smart, she'll quit while she's ahead. They think God saved Carson, I guess it's God's will if something bad happens, but what prevents them from being proactive and limiting family size? Facing facts, it obviously isn't God's will for her to spit out a football team plus a soccer team (minus the goalie) like Kelly did. 

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KarmaG

KarmaG

God's will if something bad happens, but what prevents them from being proactive and limiting family size

 

This is where I chuckle every time. Why? Because clearly God's will is for them to not have children. Yet they, and so many others, go to the dr to have science do it's magic and then turn back around and say it's in God's hands now. 

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SugarHigh

SugarHigh

If she's smart, she'll quit while she's ahead.

 

This. I wouldn't blame her if she attempted one more pregnancy as I could easily imagine a lot of couples in her position making the same choice, but I think the smartest thing they could do would be to take some sort of birth control into consideration, even if they just go the NFP route. Chad clearly loves Erin so much that I don't know if he could get over it if something happened to her as a result of pregnancy/childbirth. 

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Absolom

Absolom

Chad has already said that they will consult with medical professionals about how many pregnancies are safe for Erin.  They aren't being the typical Gothardized leave it in God's hands types.  I don't expect they're willing to invite too many miscarriages or very sad ending pregnancies into their lives.  They seem much more realistic about their situation. 

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trimthatfat

trimthatfat

I think they'll be fine if Carson is their only child. He is such a cutie. The pregnancy and labor was no walk in the park for Erin and I think it'll be some time before she warms up to the idea of going through it again.

 

I was looking at Erin's IG and she recently mentioned recording music with a close friend from college. I really like that the kids have social lives outside of their family and that it's no biggie to have opposite sex friends. 

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cereality

cereality

I'm way behind on the episodes but I watched one where it was Chad to the rescue for everything -- planting a garden, cleaning out a storage shed, haircuts etc. It's nice that they have such a handy young guy as a son in law and moreover he feels enough a part of the family that he wants to be involved, but they need to lay off of him and not burn him out. I mean I know Gil would not ask the same of John or Brandon bc he knows neither is particularly interested in being around the family for any extended stretch of time -- yet he feels ok calling Chad at work and asking him to stop by to help preschoolers with a garden??

 

! I like this family, but it's clear they have made their way with 19 kids and 1 income by "hinting" how much they need things and jumping on any offers made and couching it as "God sent us this blessing." Just bc Chad can do everything from carpentry to haircuts, doesn't mean he should be asked to do so. I mean presumably the family figured out something for haircuts before Chad arrived on the scene 2 yrs ago.

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BitterApple

BitterApple

! I like this family, but it's clear they have made their way with 19 kids and 1 income by "hinting" how much they need things and jumping on any offers made and couching it as "God sent us this blessing." Just bc Chad can do everything from carpentry to haircuts, doesn't mean he should be asked to do so. I mean presumably the family figured out something for haircuts before Chad arrived on the scene 2 yrs ago.

Agree 100%. As much as the Bateses are exponentially more likeable than the Duggars, Gil and Kelly are on par with JimBob and Michelle when it comes to grifting. I also agree that Gil senses Brandon and John only tolerate the family at best, whereas Chad is more eager to be a part of the fold and make Erin happy. Throw another baby into the mix and I guarantee Chad is going to get a lot crankier when Gil summons him to dig a hole for the new mailbox.

cereality

cereality

I think Chad is just an energetic guy who likes doing things -- not just going to work and then sitting on the couch. Given that there's not that much to do in rural Tenn -- he's likely happy to jump in on all kinds of tasks from gardening to finishing Zach's nursery. Thing is -- at some point he's going to have projects to complete in his own home and he may realize the Bates clan isn't dropping by to help him add a room to his house or whatever. And now he has more of a "reason" to sit on the couch after work -- with Carson. When Carson's a little older, I can see him being that involved dad who wants to get out of work right on time to go coach soccer or at least go watch his kid's game. That's when he may get a bit resentful -- that not only do his inlaws not help him with stuff as much as he helps them, but also that they have 10 (8? 6? whatever) strapping boys at home who can clean out a shed, yet they pull him away from his young child to do such tasks.

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Sew Sumi

Sew Sumi

I was a little distressed that Erin seems to have baby fever, talking about how Carson needs a sibling. Thankfully, Chad was there to shut that one down tout de suite, and Erin conceded that being a parent was harder than she'd thought. 

 

Enjoy the one you have! There's no reason to rush having the next one, especially given the cost and stress of the heparin shots, not to mention risks inherent in her pregnancies. 

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andromeda331

andromeda331

Enjoy the one you have! There's no reason to rush having the next one, especially given the cost and stress of the heparin shots, not to mention risks inherent in her pregnancies.

 

Yes! There is no need to rush around. Enjoy the baby they have now. I know they think the rest of the world is crazy but

most don't race off to have baby number two the second baby number one is born and not just because of cost. Most

parents want to enjoy their first child. Look forward to watching him or her learning to crawl, to walk and talk. The first

birthday, all of the firsts. The first Christmas, the first Halloween. There's so much for them to enjoy and have fun with

before deciding to add a second child. They should be enjoying that and not worrying about the next babies.    

Sew Sumi

Sew Sumi

I know she recorded music for an upcoming CD. Maybe it's being released? I want to make this so; I don't want that poor girl to be announcing a pregnancy when her little Carson is just four months old! 

 

I guess another possibility is that Chad is going into business for himself making furniture? Probably not, but I'm just trying to deflect the pregnancy talk! lol

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andromeda331

andromeda331

(edited)
I know she recorded music for an upcoming CD. Maybe it's being released? I want to make this so; I don't want that poor girl to be announcing a pregnancy when her little Carson is just four months old!

 

 

Neither do I and am trying to come up with other ideas. Maybe it is the CD? She did record music. Other ideas are

missionary or maybe Nathan announcing a courtship with the NY girl, but I don't think that's something Chad would

announce. Maybe Bring up Bates has been renewed for season three? Something, anything but another pregnancy.

Edited by andromeda331
birkenstock

birkenstock

Maybe they're moving back to Chad's hometown. I thought I read somewhere Chad moved for the courtship and they were going to live in their house until Erin graduated college or something. It seems out of the norm for Gothard males to relocate and finally moving home could get Chad pumped. However, they are part of the show and Erin loves being around her family. I don't know, but it's an alternate to new baby.

Gweilo

Gweilo

Chad really is a great husband and father. Erin won the lottery with that one.

 

I think it's a sign of precisely how incredibly fucked up their belief system is that we're all praising Chad (And I'm including myself in this, not singling anyone out!!) to the skies for doing basic things like 1) Being proud of his wife's accomplishments 2) making decisions about family size based on his wife's health and ability/desire to carry a child 3) pitching in with housework and childcare 4) Treating her with kindness and respect.

 

It makes me so mad, because the above things are the BARE MINIMUM I would expect any normal man to do for his wife.  Saying "my partner is supporting me in my study/career/hobby/interests" should be met with a "well, yeah, and your point is...?"  It just horrifies me that in this bizarre, Christian, woman-hating subculture we're referring to Erin as 'lucky'.  As if having a husband who treats you like a FUCKING HUMAN BEING is only down to luck.  That it's not a prerequisite for marriage (or for being a competent human being), but might (if you're lucky), be an added bonus. 

 

Didn't mean to get so sweary there.  I do like them and I think they are a good team.  It just breaks my heart that these girls are told to prepare for marriage without believing that they are worthy of such basic human respect.

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BitterApple

BitterApple

They said it was a surprise, but what can you expect when you're not using any birth control? I'm starting to think Erin and Chad don't really care about the health risks.

I said on the Duggar thread I was hoping they wanted to give Carson a sibling, then close up the baby factory, but it doesn't look that way. The fact that they aren't using birth control pretty much confirms they're still "leaving it up to God." Otherwise, I think they would've spaced it out a bit more.

BitterApple

BitterApple

(edited)

I know they want to leave how many pregnancies they have up to God, but even it can kill you? Is birth control really a sin even when it might save your life?

I find their carelessness really infuriating because it's just stupid.

It just goes to show that no matter how much prettier, shinier and more likeable the Bateses are, they're still neck deep in the Gothard Kool-Aid. I can't imagine Erin's doctor would've advised her that it was okay to get pregnant so quickly. It's not like Erin's 39 with a ticking biological clock. Edited by BitterApple
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Sew Sumi

Sew Sumi

If Erin is due in August, that's just 15 months between the kids. Kelly had a string of kids 14 months apart. If she just makes it 32 weeks, which was the target for Carson, that gives her pretty much Irish twins.  Erin is definitely her mother's daughter; she can sure "catch a baby" about as easily as most of us breathe. 

 

But is it really advisable to have such risky pregnancies so close together? It just seems foolhardy to me, like they're just DARING God to do something bad to them. I hope this has a happy ending. 

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BitterApple

BitterApple

I hope it ends happy too but they really seem to be asking for trouble. And why can't they just be happy with

the child they have? They still have plenty of firsts and fun ahead with Carson why not just enjoy them?

Fundies are never happy with the kids they have. It's always about the next potential blessing. Jill Duggar was talking about more kids before she was even released from the hospital.

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cereality

cereality

Honestly I'm a bit disappointed. They seemed SO thrilled to have one child, that I thought they'd relish that, have 1-2 more if they could have taking appropriate time for Erin's body to heal and then close up the shop with thankfulness for the family God gave them. Carson is what -- about 9-10 months? And I assume Erin has been pregnant for a few months if they're announcing it -- so did they really NEED to get pregnant within 6 months of a rough pregnancy?? I mean they didn't just have trouble conceiving, but rather Erin had to be giving herself shots to keep from miscarrying. With so much medication and chemical in your body, why not give yourself a yr or two to fully recover? Esp. when you're not age 35 or 40 and there isn't a huge "rush." I'd like to think that they want to have 2-3 kids back to back and then say enough, but I don't know -- the way they did this so quickly and without too much consideration for what would be good for Erin's body, makes me think it isn't about having 2 kids quick but about having every blessing they possibly can.

 

I wonder if they're close to Chad's family at all? I realize they're fundies too but Chad's dad and granddad are both doctors -- I wonder if they have given up their MDs for fundie thinking and think this is fine bc God will protect. Or I wonder if they're thinking -- wow -- a woman with an uneventful pregnancy is supposed to wait 6-12 months, WTH are they doing??

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Clemgo3165

Clemgo3165

Sometimes all the planning in the world doesn't prevent a pregnancy. Once she became pregnant, they would do everything they could to maintain it even if the timing isn't ideal. Hopefully the doctor will insist on something a bit more permanent in the near future. I don't think her body can handle more than 2 or 3 pregnancies.

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