Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Jeanne222]

Before this covid pandemic I used to eat at Panera Bread.  Several times we were seated close to a couple and over the lunch it became apparent they were meeting for the first time.

Interesting how that works.  I watch a lot of the ID channel shows so I'm pretty much sitting on the edge of my seat!  It pays to be cautious and careful.  There are some really bad people out there.

[Jenniferbug]

Agreed @Jeanne222! My husband and I actually discovered we had a mutual friendly acquaintance, so I felt more comfortable meeting him in person that first time since I knew someone else I liked and trusted had known him (and his family) for years. He's also a teacher so I jokingly reminded him that his fingerprints were in the system. Before I met in person with anyone while I was dating people I met online, I would forward 2 of my friends his contact info and name, the details of where we were going to meet (always in public, always drove myself there), and then I'd text them when I got there and when I was leaving and then again when I got home. Nothing is ever 100% safe, but I felt like I took a lot of precautions. 

[emma675]

I tried a dating since before Covid and it was kind of a disaster. I put a lot of thought and time into creating my profile, answering all of the questions, stating my likes and dislikes, what I was looking for, etc. And I kept getting tons of messages with either shirtless pics at the gym, guys who were way too young, and even a few dick pics. It ticked me off since I put so much effort into saying exactly what I was looking for, so I gave up pretty quickly. I settled into my spinsterhood and haven't looked back, lol. The Duggars would pity me. 

[Westiepeach]

2 hours ago, emma675 said:

I'll just be sitting over here in my own corner, because I love all sports. The NBA bubble last summer was a bright spot for me and I miss college football games with thousands of fans, bands, cheerleaders, and all of the fanfare. I can't play a single sport to save my life (I have basically no hand/eye coordination), but I enjoy watching almost all kinds (except golf and boxing). 

So... I like and understand baseball. That is it. I am not allowed to watch football or basketball... or basically any other sport because apparently I ask stupid questions. (Especially with football.) I am not denying it at all. Husband now calls me “Sporty Deb” to mock me. I do not disagree with him.

[Oldernowiser]

I’m sorry, but I’ve always wondered...in what universe does a dick pic actually work? While it certainly performs useful functions on occasion, it’s not exactly the nicest-looking part of the anatomy. Why do people do this? 

Some days being old has some real advantages...

 

[GeeGolly]

Just now, Oldernowiser said:

I’m sorry, but I’ve always wondered...in what universe does a dick pic actually work? While it certainly performs useful functions on occasion, it’s not exactly the nicest-looking part of the anatomy. Why do people do this? 

Some days being old has some real advantages...

 

Its true though. Thank goodness they don't make pants showing side penis.

[DangerousMinds]

4 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I got called at 9 am and told come early for the appointment. I came early and will be here until 3 pm which was my original time. Wasted cab fare. I could have taken the bus and not have rushed. 
 

 

And they keep giving me pregnancy tests. There is no way I am pregnant. Unless God himself impregnates me.

What kind of appointment?

3 hours ago, jcbrown said:

I grew up in Bloomington IN in the golden age of men's IU basketball so I watched college basketball every year. Decades ago, a guy who was trying to impress me took me to a pro game. He was mansplaining the hell out of it to me and I was kind of ignoring him. Then something happens on the court and I burst out, "do they not call travelling in the pros?" To his slight credit, he realized his mansplaining was not required. 

Ha! I was a freshman at IU the year they won the NCAA. Everyone rushed outside of the dorm and so did I, even though I had no idea why!

[DangerousMinds]

2 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

Yours truly cannot get a real date to save her life. But so far got 3 green card marriage proposals! Haha

Probably not a great idea during a pandemic, anyway.

[Jenniferbug]

33 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I tried a dating since before Covid and it was kind of a disaster. I put a lot of thought and time into creating my profile, answering all of the questions, stating my likes and dislikes, what I was looking for, etc. And I kept getting tons of messages with either shirtless pics at the gym, guys who were way too young, and even a few dick pics. It ticked me off since I put so much effort into saying exactly what I was looking for, so I gave up pretty quickly. I settled into my spinsterhood and haven't looked back, lol. The Duggars would pity me. 

That really sucks. I'm sorry it was a disaster for you. I would be super ticked off too, especially after spending time to actually make a decent profile. I think once the apps took off, it became more about hooking up than actually connecting with people. 

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, iwantcookies said:

I don’t ask about $. I just turn them down! 

Where do you find these men?

[Zella]

I've always been afraid to try online dating. I read and watch way too much true crime and just assume everyone is an axe murderer waiting to happen. (I guess, to be fair, I might be an axe murderer waiting to happen too. 😉 ) 

Edited February 25, 2021 by Zella

[Oldernowiser]

4 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

For those who need a laugh

 

https://people.com/food/nearly-half-of-americans-say-peanut-butter-preference-would-be-a-romantic-deal-breaker-survey/

This is...dumb is the only word I can come up? Also maybe I’m an outlier, but I’m team Crunchy and couldn’t be more of an introvert if I tried...there are days when I don’t even want to talk to myself.

Mr. Wiser is Team Smooth. So we have the utterly groundbreaking solution...drumroll...two jars of peanut butter. 😱

If this really is a “deal killer” for that many people, the human race should die out in short order.

[Leeds]

6 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Its true though. Thank goodness they don't make pants showing side penis.

Instead they just make pants highlighting a flacid penis. 

When will men realise that drawing attention to a tiny pee-pee isn't really a turn on.  And what the hell do they do with it in those tight trousers when it gets "happy"?

(Not to mention that a naked penis, up or down, is really not a pretty thing.  If we're talking about organs, I'm as likely to be attracted by a spleen.)

Edited February 26, 2021 by Leeds
Clarification

[QuinnInND]

1 hour ago, Oldernowiser said:

I’m sorry, but I’ve always wondered...in what universe does a dick pic actually work? While it certainly performs useful functions on occasion, it’s not exactly the nicest-looking part of the anatomy. Why do people do this? 

Some days being old has some real advantages...

 

You're supposed to be so impressed with the size and or length of it, you'll automatically want to go out with them. Or some shit. 

[QuinnInND]

My husband brought dinner home today. I hate it when they try and make nouns into verbs. This is from Arby's. 

[DangerousMinds]

5 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

My husband brought dinner home today. I hate it when they try and make nouns into verbs. This is from Arby's. 

I hate that too! Just make it stop.

[iwantcookies]

52 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

This is...dumb is the only word I can come up? Also maybe I’m an outlier, but I’m team Crunchy and couldn’t be more of an introvert if I tried...there are days when I don’t even want to talk to myself.

Mr. Wiser is Team Smooth. So we have the utterly groundbreaking solution...drumroll...two jars of peanut butter. 😱

If this really is a “deal killer” for that many people, the human race should die out in short order.

That’s what I was thinking. PB is like $2 a jar. Buy 2. Real dumb article.

[Oldernowiser]

17 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

You're supposed to be so impressed with the size and or length of it, you'll automatically want to go out with them. Or some shit. 

Yes, but does that ever work? Is that ever the most important (or only) criterion? Because anything else someone might have on their profile is pretty much obliterated...look, he graduated summa cum laude from Stanf...PENIS PENIS PENIS.

[QuinnInND]

4 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Yes, but does that ever work? Is that ever the most important (or only) criterion? Because anything else someone might have on their profile is pretty much obliterated...look, he graduated summa cum laude from Stanf...PENIS PENIS PENIS.

For some, it might be. Lol  Men are overly impressed with their organ, and think everyone else is too. And women will be impressed. Like women who think men are impressed by big boobs. 

Edited February 26, 2021 by QuinnInND

[Oldernowiser]

13 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

For some, it might be. Lol  Men are overly impressed with their organ, and think everyone else is too. And women will be impressed. Like women who think men are impressed by big boobs. 

In a just and kind world, those people would only ever be matched with each other.

[iwantcookies]

For women I know it’s the size of the bank account that matters. 
 

If he is hung like a horse and a big bank account: 🎶 hallelujah x 100.

[rue721]

When men send dick pics, I think they just get off on the idea of a woman seeing their dick. Like men who expose themselves on the subway. Forcing women to see their dick is an end in itself 🙄

I’ve done a ton of online dating and it’s been great. I did get burned out for a while (lots of dates and even a few relationships, but no real connections). I met my boyfriend on Tinder last summer, though, and I’m so glad we stuck it out in that wasteland long enough to meet! And if it weren’t for online dating, not only would I not have met Nick, but I would have been stuck dating the people I know in real life (and honestly, they’re not that great 😂). 

I probably should have been more cautious, but as long as we met in a public place and I had my own transportation, I wasn’t too worried — and things went well. Thankfully!

Edited February 26, 2021 by rue721

[jcbrown]

2 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Ha! I was a freshman at IU the year they won the NCAA. Everyone rushed outside of the dorm and so did I, even though I had no idea why!

1976, 1981, or 1987? I was there for all three. In 1976, my parents and two other couples from our church had an arrangement where our families alternated houses and shared dinner and basketball for a lot of games. IU basketball was a big deal in Bloomington at that time.

[Oldernowiser]

20 minutes ago, rue721 said:

When men send dick pics, I think they just get off on the idea of a woman seeing their dick. Like men who expose themselves on the subway. Forcing women to see their dick is an end in itself

Well, I don’t haul out “back in my day” too often, because it’s just asking for an eyeroll, but this used to be called indecent exposure and was, you know, a crime. Now it’s just a potential part of the online dating experience?

In my day, we would call that bullshit.

[Leeds]

2 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

You're supposed to be so impressed with the size and or length of it, you'll automatically want to go out with them. Or some shit. 

How are you supposed to know from a photo how "big" it is? Do they pose with a coke can/wine bottle/gherkin?

Okay. I'm stopping now.  I'm sure I'm not alone in being grossed out by what I'm posting.

 

[Jeanne222]

This is a whole new world in terms of relationships.  I have had to swallow twice when I see what we've become.

There's no not accepting anything anymore.  A few years ago I wasn't going to go to the shower and wedding of a couple that had been living together for two years.  Turns out I would have been the only one staying home.  We went and had a wonderful time.

With that said I've found following my grandmother's advice of "never interfere with affairs of the heart" to hold a special place in my heart.

Be quiet and smile!

[Jeanne222]

2 minutes ago, Leeds said:

How are you supposed to know from a photo how "big" it is? Do they pose with a coke can/wine bottle/gherkin?

Okay. I'm stopping now.  I'm sure I'm not alone in being grossed out by what I'm posting.

 

Actually I was married and had two children before I even knew each was different!  I had only seen one and it was my husbands.

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was sitting in somebody's office reading Vanity Fair and the article was talking about differences!  I almost fainted!

Aww the good old days.

[Zella]

It's disgusting, but I get the delusional lizard brain mindset that sends unsolicited dick pics. [I have what I am told is a rather intense vibe, so I don't usually have people asking for my number or hitting me up on social media, which lessens the chances fr this. And the ones that do are so obviously yeehaw crazy that I don't give them my number or accept their friend requests, so I am not really on the receiving end of these.)

But one of my friends showed me one she got, and he still had his underwear on, and I must confess we analyzed the mindset behind that like it was the freaking Rosetta Stone. We were passing her phone back and forth while we were at a restaurant. I wonder what Mr. Dick Pic would have thought if he'd known his little missive was going to be reduced to something she giggled about with her friend. 

[Oldernowiser]

1 minute ago, Zella said:

I wonder what Mr. Dick Pic would have thought if he'd known his little missive was going to be reduced to something she giggled about with her friend. 

Hey, I suspect in flasher circles they call that a two-for-one. 🙄

Freud was an interesting guy with some pretty insightful theories, but wow, did he ever miss the mark with the whole “penis envy” thing. Gimme a break!

Okay! Subject change? All in favor?

[Leeds]

11 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

This is a whole new world in terms of relationships.  I have had to swallow twice when I see what we've become.

There's no not accepting anything anymore.  A few years ago I wasn't going to go to the shower and wedding of a couple that had been living together for two years.  Turns out I would have been the only one staying home.  We went and had a wonderful time.

With that said I've found following my grandmother's advice of "never interfere with affairs of the heart" to hold a special place in my heart.

Be quiet and smile!

A long time ago my grandparents and I used used to write to each other frequently, the old-fashioned way.  After they found out that I had moved in with my boyfriend (thanks Mum) the only one who signed the letters was my Grandpa.

[Pinke]

1 hour ago, Oldernowiser said:

Well, I don’t haul out “back in my day” too often, because it’s just asking for an eyeroll, but this used to be called indecent exposure and was, you know, a crime. Now it’s just a potential part of the online dating experience?

In my day, we would call that bullshit.

It is definitely a form of sexual harassment. I'm not sure exactly what you mean by ''call that bullshit''. Calling out a man who sends a dick pic can potentially backfire and/or be dangerous; it's usually not worth the risk. At best he'll call you a bitch and then move on to its next victim, at worst, technology now allows men an infinite number of ways to seek revenge and punish women for existing in the digital space.

This is more of an extreme example and may not apply in this specific context (though you never know), but deepfake porn, among other things, is becoming more and more realistic and easy to make (and has been used as a form of revenge porn).

If by ''call that bullshit'' you meant something more general, I'll say that women have denounced it. Unfortunately legislation on it varies, not to mention the fact lawmakers tend to struggle and lag behind when it comes to technology-related laws. There's often not much people can do when they're sent an unsolicited dick pic.

Sorry if I'm coming on strong, I just feel strongly about those things and as a 31-year-old woman and a feminist, I am exhausted.

[emmawoodhouse]

7 hours ago, emma675 said:

I'll just be sitting over here in my own corner, because I love all sports. The NBA bubble last summer was a bright spot for me and I miss college football games with thousands of fans, bands, cheerleaders, and all of the fanfare. I can't play a single sport to save my life (I have basically no hand/eye coordination), but I enjoy watching almost all kinds (except golf and boxing). 

Me too! Add MMA to the "won't watch" list. I'm currently switching between college and pro hoops. 

[Jeanne222]

2 minutes ago, Leeds said:

A long time ago my grandparents and I used used to write to each other frequently, the old-fashioned way.  After they found out that I had moved in with my boyfriend (thanks Mum) the only one who signed the letters was my Grandpa.

Aww I'm sorry Leeds. I'm sure that hurt you.  

[QuinnInND]

15 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

Actually I was married and had two children before I even knew each was different!  I had only seen one and it was my husbands.

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was sitting in somebody's office reading Vanity Fair and the article was talking about differences!  I almost fainted!

Aww the good old days.

😂 I've seen more than my share and then some. Thousands. They're different and yet the same just like breasts. Subject change! 

We've got a chance of snow next Wednesday. Seriously? In March? And on my birthday? Ugh. 

[Jeanne222]

Just now, QuinnInND said:

😂 I've seen more than my share and then some. Thousands. They're different and yet the same just like breasts. Subject change! 

We've got a chance of snow next Wednesday. Seriously? In March? And on my birthday? Ugh. 

Gosh we do have things in common!  I'm a March birthday too!  Guess the day and my age!  Lol

[Leeds]

1 minute ago, Jeanne222 said:

Aww I'm sorry Leeds. I'm sure that hurt you.  

Thanks.  It did. As you can probably tell by the fact that I'm posting about it on an anonymous board decades later.  (And once again Coronavirus really isn't helping.)

[emmawoodhouse]

4 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

😂 I've seen more than my share and then some. Thousands. They're different and yet the same just like breasts. Subject change! 

We've got a chance of snow next Wednesday. Seriously? In March? And on my birthday? Ugh. 

Oh that's right. We wish you happy birthday and simultaneously tell Smuggar to suck a bag of dicks. 

[Oldernowiser]

@Pinke, I wasn’t clear. What I was trying to say is that it IS bullshit that anyone has to be subjected to a dick pic when they’re just trying to find a nice person to possibly have coffee with. I thought I made that clear when I called it criminal, but my use of the word “call” may have been interpreted as “call out.” Not what I was saying.

And at this point, I really, really vote for a subject change? 

[Suzn]

I am used to being in the extreme minority in being a NON-sports fans.  At best it bores me and at worst I actively dislike it.  So it's a surprise to find so many others here who don't like it.   The only sports I willingly watch is some Olympic events.  I think it's a matter of taste, but the expectation is that everybody interested is sports and people are surprised to find someone who doesn't care about the "big game".  I don't even pretend an interest - no one is going to pretend an interest in the things that are important to me.

Edited February 26, 2021 by Suzn
Very bad grammar!

[rue721]

20 minutes ago, Leeds said:

A long time ago my grandparents and I used used to write to each other frequently, the old-fashioned way.  After they found out that I had moved in with my boyfriend (thanks Mum) the only one who signed the letters was my Grandpa.

Your Grandpa sounds like a sweetheart.

To bad your Grandma had some hangups and took them out on you, that’s so hurtful. But glad to know your Grandpa didn’t have time for that, wasn’t letting some BS come between him and his granddaughter! 😊

[Zella]

In the name of a subject change, I like some sports. I never could get into basketball or baseball, but I do love football. I've become uncomfortable with the head injury issue in recent years since for a long time I just naively assumed the helmets offered more protection than they do. I don't necessarily watch a lot of football anymore, but I still root for my Chiefs (pretending that super bowl didn't happen) and my Hogs. 🙂 

I actually used to watch boxing with my dad when I still lived at home. He did amateur boxing in the military back in the early 80s, and he was quite informative about it. I understand why the sport turns a lot of people off--and truthfully I never need to see someone knocked out--but I have weirdly fond memories of watching it with him. 

I also like the Olympics, though I can't get reception for NBC since the Sochi Olympics. But I always liked the random sports nobody sees. Especially the Winter Olympics! I tend to find the commentators super annoying, so I always muted their asses. 

[Pinke]

2 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

@Pinke, I wasn’t clear. What I was trying to say is that it IS bullshit that anyone has to be subjected to a dick pic when they’re just trying to find a nice person to possibly have coffee with. I thought I made that clear when I called it criminal, but my use of the word “call” may have been interpreted as “call out.” Not what I was saying.

And at this point, I really, really vote for a subject change? 

Gotcha! I figured I'd offer a different perspective but I see what you meant now.

I always take too long to write and send posts lmao so I often miss the boat in conversations (both IRL and online). Something to work on.

I'm good with a subject change as well, for sure.

[emmawoodhouse]

5 minutes ago, Zella said:

In the name of a subject change, I like some sports. I never could get into basketball or baseball, but I do love football. I've become uncomfortable with the head injury issue in recent years since for a long time I just naively assumed the helmets offered more protection than they do. I don't necessarily watch a lot of football anymore, but I still root for my Chiefs (pretending that super bowl didn't happen) and my Hogs. 🙂 

I actually used to watch boxing with my dad when I still lived at home. He did amateur boxing in the military back in the early 80s, and he was quite informative about it. I understand why the sport turns a lot of people off--and truthfully I never need to see someone knocked out--but I have weirdly fond memories of watching it with him. 

I also like the Olympics, though I can't get reception for NBC since the Sochi Olympics. But I always liked the random sports nobody sees. Especially the Winter Olympics! I tend to find the commentators super annoying, so I always muted their asses. 

I adore Olympic sports. I could (and have) watch figure skating and gymnastics all day. 😄

[Zella]

Just now, emmawoodhouse said:

I adore Olympic sports. I could (and have) watch figure skating and gymnastics all day. 😄

YES! Neither seems like something I'd be into, but they are very watchable. I would always make sure I got to watch them. 

[DangerousMinds]

2 hours ago, jcbrown said:

1976, 1981, or 1987? I was there for all three. In 1976, my parents and two other couples from our church had an arrangement where our families alternated houses and shared dinner and basketball for a lot of games. IU basketball was a big deal in Bloomington at that time.

1987

[Suzn]

7 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

@CouchTater, your kitties are so pretty...but your room caught my eye and it is GORGEOUS. Love the art, the plants, love the furniture. Yum.

Okay, dog owners, I’ll see you rabbit poop and raise you bear poop and bobcat poop. When we lived in the wilds in Maine, my dogs would sniff anything canid (foxes, coyotes) and decline...but bobcat? Bear? Apparently a rare delicacy. 😝

 

A friend has the prettiest, white fluffy little American Eskimo dog.  I have a picture of her wearing coyote poo and a big smile.

[jcbrown]

35 minutes ago, Suzn said:

I am used to being in the extreme minority in being a NON-sports fans.  At best it bores me and at worst I actively dislike it.  So it's a surprise to find so many others here who don't like it.   The only sports I willingly watch is some Olympic events.  I think it's a matter of taste, but the expectation is that everybody interested is sports and people are surprised to find someone who doesn't care about the "big game".  I don't even pretend an interest - no one is going to pretend an interest in the things that are important to me.

I am still chagrined every year because until I moved to the Bay Area (~24 years ago) I was able to fulfill my goal of not knowing who was playing in the Stupid Bowl. Living in a place where people revere pro sports makes that much harder. And sometimes even NPR betrays me and talks about it!

30 minutes ago, Zella said:

I also like the Olympics, though I can't get reception for NBC since the Sochi Olympics. But I always liked the random sports nobody sees. Especially the Winter Olympics! I tend to find the commentators super annoying, so I always muted their asses. 

I love to watch gymnastics, figure skating, some skiing, and fencing (and maybe others that I am not currently remembering). My husband and I fenced for a while and holy crap is it hard to see what the fencing judges see.

[Leeds]

19 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

I adore Olympic sports. I could (and have) watch figure skating and gymnastics all day. 😄

These plus track and field.

For over fifty years, my mum's uncle and aunt went to every summer Olympic Games.  Back in the day, tickets were free or cheap.  The trips became their lifelong Grand Tour.  I only met them a few times, but they are still a cherished part of my family history.  (And I'm realizing how nice it is to have this space to share the story, even if no-one except me really cares!  And that I need to keep boring my children with family history.)

[Leeds]

8 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

 

I love to watch gymnastics, figure skating, some skiing, and fencing (and maybe others that I am not currently remembering). My husband and I fenced for a while and holy crap is it hard to see what the fencing judges see.

Isn't it all electronic these days?

[emmawoodhouse]

1 minute ago, Leeds said:

Isn't it all electronic these days?

Yeah, a buzzer goes off with a successful strike (parry? I don't know fencing lingo).