Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[bigskygirl]

It snows and the next day the snow melts is nice, but the sun light hitting the snow makes me eyes unhappy campers due to the light sensitivity. It has been a little bad so far this winter. The dry eyes are the worse part. Oh well, it could be worse. I feel bad for the poor people in the south and back east. We are use to it in Montana, but some parts of the country are not use to snow, ice and freezing rain.

Edited January 5, 2018 by bigskygirl

[ChiCricket]

I'm curled up in bed (because it's only 2° out) reading a new book I just bought for my kindle. 

Edited January 6, 2018 by ChiCricket
Trying not to be bad

[Catfin]

-8 here, whole household recovering from the crud. This Friday is very, very welcome.  Work system upgrade over New Year went horribly awry, lot of client fallout leading to a hellish week. Wondering if I have the heart for this crap any longer, but knowing I have two teens to get through college.  

[Love2dance]

31 minutes ago, Catfin said:

-8 here, whole household recovering from the crud. This Friday is very, very welcome.  Work system upgrade over New Year went horribly awry, lot of client fallout leading to a hellish week. Wondering if I have the heart for this crap any longer, but knowing I have two teens to get through college.  

Oh, my. Hang in there, @Catfin. Wishing you better weather and work conditions. Hugs!

[Arwen Evenstar]

Brrrrrrrrrrr! ☃️❄️??

[Marigold]

Ok, well the update with the dance studio mess is:

My daughter got bullied badly on social media. Did not instigate anything. Thank God she came to me immediately and showed me what happened.  

We will not be returning.  I'm also going to address this with the other families. 

 

It's so hurtful when it is friends. Not friends anymore but still...

Edited January 7, 2018 by Marigold

[lookeyloo]

1 minute ago, Marigold said:

Ok, well the update with the dance studio mess is:

My daughter got bullied badly on social media. Did not instigate anything. Thank God she came to me immediately and showed me what happened.  

We will not be returning.  I'm also going to address this with the other families. 

 

It's so hurtful when it is friends. Not friends anymore but still...

Hard decision but the right one.  What is wrong with people?!?!?!?!

[Marigold]

@lookeyloo

I suspect it's jealousy.  What they posted about my daughter is disgusting. 

[lookeyloo]

Just now, Marigold said:

@lookeyloo

I suspect it's jealousy.  What they posted about my daughter is disgusting. 

I'm glad you got her out of there.  I was talking to granddaughter last week about this situation.  I think I posted something on it.  She is 14 and a half and has been in this dance place a long time. The owner came to dance through her own disabilities and has her children in the place.  While not perfect, she is very kind in her direction (from my own observation) and doesn't tolerate what you are talking about.  Granddaughter confirms this and says sometimes other girls (there are a few boys and they had an incident with one that she dances with and he and his family had an "intervention" of sorts and he cleaned up his act) are not nice, but Miss (owner) is quick to address.  Daughter in law is on top of things and hasn't had an issue so far.  I'm guessing things aren't perfect there because kids will be kids, but, certainly not from the top down.  I hope your family can find another dance home that works for you.

[Marigold]

Thanks.  

I'm just so upset right now. It's not fun to read nasty stuff on social media about your child. 

I took a screen shot of everything and printed it all out. I will be handing it out to the mothers. No confrontation. I'm done and we are done. But I'm not gonna leave without a proper goodbye. (wink, evil grin)

[CherryMalotte]

I'm so sorry this happened to your child Marigold, and you are handling this just the right way.  I'd wager that some of these other mothers have no clue what their little darlings are up to - and need this pointed out.  The good parents will address the issue with their children and make sure it never happens again.  Unfortunately there's always the bad apple of the bunch that with protest that their child would never ever ever do something like that - and it's bullshit.  You have the evidence.  This instructor definitely shouldn't be teaching if she acts like a mean girl herself.    

[Temperance]

I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Epiphany/Three Kings' Day/Twelth Night. Sorry if it's a little late, but it is today (1/6). 

I also want to wish those for whom this isn't part of your religion or tradition. Happy Saturday! 

[Arwen Evenstar]

19 minutes ago, Temperance said:

I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Epiphany/Three Kings' Day/Twelth Night. Sorry if it's a little late, but it is today (1/6). 

I also want to wish those for whom this isn't part of your religion or tradition. Happy Saturday! 

Happy Saturday! Gut Shabbes! Happy Trikin Day (??)

[ChiCricket]

1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Happy Saturday! Gut Shabbes! Happy Trikin Day (??)

Today is the last day I can get away with having my Christmas lights on.

I always celebrated 3 Kings Day so my kids would get a little taste of their dad's Puerto Rican heritage, so we always kept the lights on up to this day (and including tonight.)

My little red house will look so dreary without them. But I'm not taking them down until it's at least above freezing! (Yes,I know it's blurry, my hands were shaking..lol)

Edited January 7, 2018 by ChiCricket

[Love2dance]

2 hours ago, Marigold said:

Ok, well the update with the dance studio mess is:

My daughter got bullied badly on social media. Did not instigate anything. Thank God she came to me immediately and showed me what happened.  

We will not be returning.  I'm also going to address this with the other families. 

 

It's so hurtful when it is friends. Not friends anymore but still...

I am so sorry this is happening to your daughter. Nothing hurts worse than when your children are hurting. You are doing the right thing, and hopefully this will put an end to it. If it doesn’t, and any of the bullies are at her school, you can take it to the principal to put a stop to it. I really hope you find a wonderful dance home for your girl.

[lascuba]

I am so sorry, @Marigold. You're doing the right thing with such an awful situation. 

[zoomama]

2 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Today is the last day I can get away with having my Christmas lights on.

I always celebrated 3 Kings Day so my kids would get a little taste of their dad's Puerto Rican heritage, so we always kept the lights on up to this day (and including tonight.)

My little red house will look so dreary without them. But I'm not taking them down until it's at least above freezing! (Yes,I know it's blurry, my hands were shaking..lol)

adorable house!!!!   love red....

[Arwen Evenstar]

2 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Today is the last day I can get away with having my Christmas lights on.

I always celebrated 3 Kings Day so my kids would get a little taste of their dad's Puerto Rican heritage, so we always kept the lights on up to this day (and including tonight.)

My little red house will look so dreary without them. But I'm not taking them down until it's at least above freezing! (Yes,I know it's blurry, my hands were shaking..lol)

Such a sweet little house! I can’t blame you for not wanting to take them down. Our Houston green Christmases don’t give us this view. We don’t covet the rest of what getting snow often entails. 

I’m sure that Christmas and 3 King’s Day wasn’t as joyful in Puerto Rico this year because people there are still suffering from lack of power and water and employment in many parts of the island. No news stories about it, either.

[BitterApple]

15 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Today is the last day I can get away with having my Christmas lights on.

I always celebrated 3 Kings Day so my kids would get a little taste of their dad's Puerto Rican heritage, so we always kept the lights on up to this day (and including tonight.)

My little red house will look so dreary without them. But I'm not taking them down until it's at least above freezing! (Yes,I know it's blurry, my hands were shaking..lol)

I love your house!!! It looks like a storybook cottage, with the snow and the lights!

[jcbrown]

So my dad is in a memory care facility and we have been paying a caregiver there to get him out and about (he likes to go to the drugstore, out to lunch, Target, whatever). He mentioned earlier that they had "gotten really close." It came out today that they have actually embarked on a sexual relationship. The facility fired her immediately, as they had to. He is a bit embarrassed but says he never thought he would have feelings for another woman (Mom dies of Alzheimer's ten years ago after a fifty-year marriage and longer than that relationship and he was her caregiver and they were each other's only partners ever). My sister and I are struggling with what, if anything, to do with this. On the one hand, I am happy he found someone to make him happy for the time she did. On the other, I am less than happy we were paying her to do so. And I am struggling with the fact that if the genders were reversed, I would likely want the police involved. One of the "features" of the disease, for those who do not know, can be inappropriate sexual behavior.

I posted much of this on the Alzheimer's.org board but you folks are often smarter.

[kassygreene]

Strictly my impression, but if this is a paid caregiver, then the relationship was abused - by her.  I of course can't tell if he has the cognitive ability to enter a consensual relationship, but sorry, on the simple facts as you recounted them, the person being paid is exploiting the person in her care whatever the "true feelings" are.

My brother has autism; he would never ever EVER be able to enter a consensual relationship with anyone, and any caregiver who did that would (as far as I had the power to make it happen) be facing criminal charges.  That the facility immediately fired her is as much for their protection as your father's, as they have (on the simple facts as you recounted them), failed to fulfill their duty of care.  Please remember your family and the facility will have different priorities, and don't let them fast-talk you into any kind of settlement.

Take gender out of it - it's the same crime/malfeasance/skeevy behavior either way.

[ginger90]

Just curious, was the care giver employed by the facility, or by you through an agency, jcbrown ?

[Catfin]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

A friend has something similar with her recently widowed father-in-law. He's 85, his new "special friend" is 47. "Dad" is blinded to the reality of what is at play.  Heartbreaking. Our parents need as much protection as our young kids from preying creeps.

[Absolom]

I don't know about any other states, but here to be "allowed" to be placed in memory care, by definition the person can not be competent.  It would absolutely be taking advantage of someone by a caregiver.  What is up with a facility permitting caregivers to be paid extra by families anyway?  Here they do take people out from memory care, but it's all under the auspices of the facility with no extra charge.

[bigskygirl]

Hmmm... I would go to the county or state about this because something is wrong here. Just my opinion. She was fired, but this may not have been the first or last time she will do something like this. You paid her to help take care of him not to fool around with him. My husband has been dealing with some issues at work himself. He works in a group home for the developmentally disabled. A few of his former females coworkers were causing some problems for him by saying a female client said he was her "boyfriend" and also told her mother the same thing. He was transferred to another group home, and he has not been allowed to spend time with the one female client. I know my husband, and he is not doing any type of abuse with said client. It is a few troublemaker staff members causing the problems and have been allowed to get away with it. I have thought of contacting the state and a lawyer because this type of crap is not appropriate, and the clients are not receiving the care they need because of it. I have been attempted on going to the main office and hunt down the three female staff members and group home manager and ripping into them big time and threaten a lawsuit and going to the media with all of this, but I know doing so right now will cause more problems for my husband. Plus the fact I am a police department volunteer, so going off and telling someone off and slapping the crap out of them would not look good for the department, but it is so tempting. May karma come a calling one day soon.

[Marigold]

@jcbrown

My first impression is that is abuse. 

The woman was being paid as a professional caregiver. Having sex with a client who has Alzheimer's seems predatory. 

I have spent 25 years working with special needs people, mostly children and some adults.  Adults that were in my care, were in my care for a reason. It was my job to protect them.  Not have sex with them or have any type of sex acts performed.  I'm not familiar with Alzheimer but if you say that in appropriate sexual acts are part of his disease then any caregiver should be aware of this. 

I have worked with many disabled adult males who have taken out their penis or tried to masturbate in front of me. I have also have my breasts touched a few times also.  I am a professional and know that this happens with adult males in my care.  I don't take that as an opportunity to have sex or think that it's Ok because he wanted it.  I have worked with all quality agencies who have an action plan in place for when this type of thing occurs. 

 

I do think you need to consult with a lawyer. 

I'm so very sorry that this whole thing happened.  XOXO

Edited January 8, 2018 by Marigold

[bigskygirl]

I worked with special needs adults for two years before my back and neck said no more. Male clients hit on me and tried to do the ole grab of certain body parts. I even had a female client pushed her breasts in my face. I certainly did not think sex was part of the job in anyway shape or form. I agree about consulting with a lawyer plus county and state agencies which oversees care facilities like the one your dad is in. The sad and sick thing is this is probably not the first time she has done something like this. I think this falls under inappropriate sexual behavior on the part of the worker who should have known better than have a sexual relationship with an Alzheimer patient.

[ginger90]

It is abuse. If this caregiver was licensed, the state would be notified and her license revoked. 

[jcbrown]

9 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Just curious, was the care giver employed by the facility, or by you through an agency, jcbrown ?

Employed by the facility. We had another agency at first but the facility suggested this caregiver could take over their duties (and then some, as it turned out!).

I do have contact with an elder care attorney in Dad's city (he is in Indiana; I am in California. I was thinking she would be a good place to start and I was actually drafting an email to her. We originally asked for this caregiver to do the same as we were paying the other agency to do: two four-hour shifts a week. We just got the bill for her services in December and it is more than twice as much as other months. No way we are going to pay her to abuse Dad and there is no excuse for doubling the amount of hours we asked for without my sister and I okaying it, even if it were not extra creepy since we would be basically paying for her sexual services.

When we learned about this yesterday, I was sort of confused and felt sorry for Dad. Today, I am leaning more toward fury. I am concerned, though, that we not poison the relationship with the facility if we can help it since it has been a good fit before this. I am wondering if that is an unachievable goal, however.

Oh, and someone on the Alzheimer's board suggested that we also should get him screened for STDs and HIV. Ah, this sucks.

[Marigold]

2 hours ago, jcbrown said:

Employed by the facility. We had another agency at first but the facility suggested this caregiver could take over their duties (and then some, as it turned out!).

I do have contact with an elder care attorney in Dad's city (he is in Indiana; I am in California. I was thinking she would be a good place to start and I was actually drafting an email to her. We originally asked for this caregiver to do the same as we were paying the other agency to do: two four-hour shifts a week. We just got the bill for her services in December and it is more than twice as much as other months. No way we are going to pay her to abuse Dad and there is no excuse for doubling the amount of hours we asked for without my sister and I okaying it, even if it were not extra creepy since we would be basically paying for her sexual services.

When we learned about this yesterday, I was sort of confused and felt sorry for Dad. Today, I am leaning more toward fury. I am concerned, though, that we not poison the relationship with the facility if we can help it since it has been a good fit before this. I am wondering if that is an unachievable goal, however.

Oh, and someone on the Alzheimer's board suggested that we also should get him screened for STDs and HIV. Ah, this sucks.

This is a lawsuit and a criminal case. 

This is freaking insane. Absolutely insane. 

I'm just curious, how old is this caregiver?  Is this a woman of the same age who maybe thinks she is in love or a younger girl who is nuts or what? 

[zenme]

Marigold, whatever you get paid is not enough!

[jcbrown]

1 hour ago, Marigold said:

This is a lawsuit and a criminal case. 

This is freaking insane. Absolutely insane. 

I'm just curious, how old is this caregiver?  Is this a woman of the same age who maybe thinks she is in love or a younger girl who is nuts or what? 

We don't know how old the caregiver is but I can guarantee she is not as old as my 82 year-old father. We never met her, since neither my sister nor I lives near him. We trusted the recommendation of the facility.

I am going to contact the elder law attorney tomorrow. We may ask her to draft a letter for us explaining why we will not be paying $1500 for the caregiver's "services" on the latest bill. Tha facility told my sister they would report this to the state. I will also ask for confirmation that has occurred.

[Arwen Evenstar]

@jcbrown, so sorry you are having to deal with this. Abuse of elderly people, even once, is one time too many.  No person in memory care or anyone in any condition (mental or physical) that renders them unable to consent or enter into a legally binding agreement should be subjected to predatory behavior.

Sadly, nursing homes and other elderly care facilities aren’t well regulated, their employees are often poorly paid, improperly trained, or not at all, and the facilities are often filthy.  State and local agencies don’t have the personnel to oversee the quality of care, either.  All too often, our local news reports bad behavior of nursing / assisted care homes.  It seems nothing much gets done about them.  Not everyone is physically or logistically able to care for their elderly family, so they’re  stuck with whatever is available, what Medicare will pay for...It’s very sad when too many families realize that they inadvertently left their precious loved one in the care of those unqualified to provide any sort of care.

[louannems]

I would also be concerned that this caregiver may be trying to get at your dad's money. We hear stories of the elderly being scammed.

[jcbrown]

36 minutes ago, louannems said:

I would also be concerned that this caregiver may be trying to get at your dad's money. We hear stories of the elderly being scammed.

She would be disappointed if that were the case but  I don't  discount the possibility. My sister and I put  most of his assets into a Medicaid trust months ago and we have a financial manager looking out for his walking-around money and sending us monthly statements. Plus, we requested the last few months of his credit card statements, just to review a second time. But thanks for the thought.

[jcbrown]

53 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

@jcbrown, so sorry you are having to deal with this. Abuse of elderly people, even once, is one time too many.  No person in memory care or anyone in any condition (mental or physical) that renders them unable to consent or enter into a legally binding agreement should be subjected to predatory behavior.

Sadly, nursing homes and other elderly care facilities aren’t well regulated, their employees are often poorly paid, improperly trained, or not at all, and the facilities are often filthy.  State and local agencies don’t have the personnel to oversee the quality of care, either.  All too often, our local news reports bad behavior of nursing / assisted care homes.  It seems nothing much gets done about them.  Not everyone is physically or logistically able to care for their elderly family, so they’re  stuck with whatever is available, what Medicare will pay for...It’s very sad when too many families realize that they inadvertently left their precious loved one in the care of those unqualified to provide any sort of care.

Thank you. Yes, poorly paid and improperly or untrained is definitely the norm. Medicare does not even pay for assisted living in-home care so  we are fortunate that my parents had long-term care insurance. This has really brought home to me how terrible our system is at dealing with aging  in the US.

[emma675]

jcbrown, how did the facility catch onto the fact that this happened? I'm not defending the caregiver at all, but having had a relative with Alzheimer's, I know how things can get confused in their minds. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

I have a question for you all. It’s not a tragic or serious matter, just an exasperating one. My credit union won’t even give me an increase in my credit line so I can transfer a balance from a card where it’s expiring.  

Not looking to rack up debt, but SSDI doesn’t cover all my bills, nor was it intended to. I’m paying quite a bit a month to service my existing debt, rather than paying principal. Trying to be responsible and still have some credit for emergencies and out of pocket medical and premiums. Without a car payment and CC debt, SSDI would cover us.

Our house is worth at least 4 times what we owe on it, and we have a fair amount in IRAs, so we aren’t without assets. Pisses me off that now that we really need help, we’re made to feel like damaged goods. My credit score is above 760, we have no late payments, liens, judgments, or collections against us. Damning is that neither of us has a job. We only tap the IRA as needed. How stupid is that, but credit unions aren’t interested in other assets. I get they’re nonprofit and don’t have big bank lending capacity, but now I see they can be just like dealing with a big bank. 

 After 2 years of being underemployed and unemployed and then a year of being too sick to work, it looks like a no brainer to me WHY I might have accumulated debt.  And, my husband has been out of work all this time. I rarely carried a balance on any card before all this happened.  It’s maddening.

[Marigold]

12 hours ago, jcbrown said:

We don't know how old the caregiver is but I can guarantee she is not as old as my 82 year-old father. We never met her, since neither my sister nor I lives near him. We trusted the recommendation of the facility.

I am going to contact the elder law attorney tomorrow. We may ask her to draft a letter for us explaining why we will not be paying $1500 for the caregiver's "services" on the latest bill. Tha facility told my sister they would report this to the state. I will also ask for confirmation that has occurred.

OH MY GOD.

I missed the part where your dad is 82!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought maybe he was in his 60s.

That is sexual abuse, rape and everything else. 

 

You're not paying the $1500?  YOU NEED TO FILE A LAWSUIT.  THEY OWE YOU MONEY FOR THIS ABUSE. 

[ginger90]

The whole situation is awful. 

Something I don’t understand.....why was this caregiver allowed to be an employee of the facility and basically privately employed at the same time? I work in healthcare and have never heard of such a thing, which obviously doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

[bigskygirl]

10 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

I have a question for you all. It’s not a tragic or serious matter, just an exasperating one. My credit union won’t even give me an increase in my credit line so I can transfer a balance from a card where it’s expiring.  

Not looking to rack up debt, but SSDI doesn’t cover all my bills, nor was it intended to. I’m paying quite a bit a month to service my existing debt, rather than paying principal. Trying to be responsible and still have some credit for emergencies and out of pocket medical and premiums. Without a car payment and CC debt, SSDI would cover us.

Our house is worth at least 4 times what we owe on it, and we have a fair amount in IRAs, so we aren’t without assets. Pisses me off that now that we really need help, we’re made to feel like damaged goods. My credit score is above 760, we have no late payments, liens, judgments, or collections against us. Damning is that neither of us has a job. We only tap the IRA as needed. How stupid is that, but credit unions aren’t interested in other assets. I get they’re nonprofit and don’t have big bank lending capacity, but now I see they can be just like dealing with a big bank. 

 After 2 years of being underemployed and unemployed and then a year of being too sick to work, it looks like a no brainer to me WHY I might have accumulated debt.  And, my husband has been out of work all this time. I rarely carried a balance on any card before all this happened.  It’s maddening.

I hear ya! My credit rating has went downhill the last few years from being sick and not being able to work or find and keep a job I can do. Medicaid does not cover dental and vision care even when the care is deemed medically necessary. Montana has been hit with a budget shortfall, so more cuts in social services have been made. I have applied for disability, but I was turned down. I am appealing right now, but I rather have rehab services in order to find and keep a job, but no funding available right now. My anxiety level is going though the roof right now, my sleeping is off and on, having headaches almost on a daily basis, and feeling like crap is certainly not helping at all. All of this would not have happened if the idiot doctor in Great Falls did not make mistakes with the one medication. Angers me he got away with it. I thought about filing a complaint against him and the Great Falls Clinic, but it probably would be a major pain in the behind to do so. I now refuse to go to any doctor in Great Falls especially at the one clinic. I am crossing my fingers the local hospital will get a new sleep specialist soon because I need to find a new one. I am not saying all doctors in GF are bad, but the experience with the one doctor and dealing with the one clinic has left a bad taste in my mouth. I am a lot more picky about who I see for medical care because of the lack of good quality medical care in the first two years after I had the one radiation treatment. I am also not too pleased with the one dental clinic I went to two years ago. I was showing signs of periodontal disease and cavities and no treatment or mention of it. Really... No postcard or phone card saying to come in for cleanings or checkups for one year. They expect you to pay the bill, but you end up with worse medical problems because the lack of care you needed at the time. Sorry, but I think if the doctor(s) or clinic made mistakes affecting your health to the point of having multiple health issues you did not have before said care or treatment or lack of care or treatment you obviously needed, you should not have to pay the bill.

Thanks for letting me rant on!

[Arwen Evenstar]

@bigskygirl, I would report your bad experience with the drug to the FDA and the drug manufacturer.  Who knows, there’s probably a class action lawsuit.  I’d say to go get another doctor, but I’m sure Medicaid limits your choices to the doctors that accept it.  Montana Sadly doesn’t even begin to have the choices Houston has for medical care. 

Believe me, if I could be healed well enough to no longer need disability, I would be elated. Stage 4 cancer is rough.  I’m currently pain free except the neuropathy, but my stamina and energy are limited. I was told 12-18 months for my particular strain, but after 10 months, I don’t feel too terribly bad. There is still a lot of uncertainty, but I’ve figured if this is all the time God has granted me, then so be that. The uncertainty is hard. Mr E wouldn’t do well at all on his own, so I worry about that.

I can definitely empathize with the headaches. I suffered from migraines for nearly 30 years. Sumatriptan really helps (if you can take it), and it’s finally available in generic form.  GoodRx should have a decent price for it as well.  

[bigskygirl]

3 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

@bigskygirl, I would report your bad experience with the drug to the FDA and the drug manufacturer.  Who knows, there’s probably a class action lawsuit.  I’d say to go get another doctor, but I’m sure Medicaid limits your choices to the doctors that accept it.  Montana Sadly doesn’t even begin to have the choices Houston has for medical care. 

Believe me, if I could be healed well enough to no longer need disability, I would be elated. Stage 4 cancer is rough.  I’m currently pain free except the neuropathy, but my stamina and energy are limited. I was told 12-18 months for my particular strain, but after 10 months, I don’t feel too terribly bad. There is still a lot of uncertainty, but I’ve figured if this is all the time God has granted me, then so be that. The uncertainty is hard. Mr E wouldn’t do well at all on his own, so I worry about that.

I can definitely empathize with the headaches. I suffered from migraines for nearly 30 years. Sumatriptan really helps (if you can take it), and it’s finally available in generic form.  GoodRx should have a decent price for it as well.  

@Arwen Evenstar I see a specialist in Helena for my hypothyroidism and believe me he is a major improvement over the Great Falls doctor. The doctor here was the one who told it looks like I am sensitive to the one thyroid med. I guess 1 out of 10 patients can become sensitive to it. I can tell he is not happy with the doctor in Great Falls either. Maybe I should contract the FDA and the drug manufacturer because I hate to think of others dealing with the same things I am.

I wish I could make you well enough too. I am amazed at cancer patients. You are one tough cookie. I cannot imagine how scary it can be. I remember what my husband went though with dialysis and a kidney transplant. Each day he has his kidney is a good day. We had a lot of scares along the way, but he is alive today because is a tough stubborn man along with the great medical team and one tough and stubborn wife. *lol* I know he would be okay if something happened to me, but someone needs to be around to try to keep him in line. The sad fact is we cannot expect on his own family to be here for him. GRRR!!! He got more love, support and understanding from our four legged family members in the last 17 years than his own family.

I think part of the reason why my headaches are staying around is due to side effects from the meds I take at night, the blasted sleep apnea and the snow aka the light sensitivity. The whiteness of the snow blinds me. Throw in the cold weather, and it seems every kicks in all at once. I am a lot luckier than other patients with thyroid disorders. One time I went in for a blood test, and the lab tech told me about another lab tech who had to quit her job because her thyroid disorder was causing serious eye problems. The specialist I see now told me he talk with people who ended up in mental hospitals because their symptoms go so severe.

[zoomama]

oh my word! the rain is comin' down and it is really comin'.  it was predicted to bypass us till last night and then they changed the weather report. wow!!!  needless to say, i love it.   but for those in the burn areas, its not gonna be pretty. 

[Absolom]

54 minutes ago, zoomama said:

but for those in the burn areas, its not gonna be pretty. 

No, sadly it has been very rough for some including deaths.

[kokapetl]

On 07/01/2018 at 10:06 AM, ChiCricket said:

Today is the last day I can get away with having my Christmas lights on.

I always celebrated 3 Kings Day so my kids would get a little taste of their dad's Puerto Rican heritage, so we always kept the lights on up to this day (and including tonight.)

My little red house will look so dreary without them. But I'm not taking them down until it's at least above freezing! (Yes,I know it's blurry, my hands were shaking..lol)

That house is Hallmark Channel movie quality. 

[lookeyloo]

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am in a situation.  About 10 years ago I had my hip replaced.  It was the state of the art implant.  Now the dr. tells me that the metal degrades and gets into the blood stream.  I went back to him because my back was hurting and wanted to rule out the hip.  He thinks it is my back and not the hip but advised that we needed to do blood work to see if there was metal in my blood.  There is.  Next step is special MRI because implant is steel.  If the worst case scenario comes true I will have to have a surgery to somehow get the implant out and put in a new one.  He said it is not an easy surgery with lots of places to go wrong.  I trust him.  He was my second opinion the first time around.  I did a lot of research the first time.  I know revisions are not good.  I don't want one.  I came to this big city the first time because of the skill here.  Now we live here so that is a bit easier.   Plus I am 10 years older, not a spring chick.  I hope that we can just watch.  He said if I live long enough the implant will fail.  How long is long enough.  Don't know.  Since my tendency is to Pollyanna, head in sand, live in denial, please no horror stories!!  Thanks for listening!!

[bigskygirl]

No horror stories from me. Sending you good luck and {{{HUGS}}} I don't blame you for not wanting one.

[Arwen Evenstar]

4 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

 

I wish I could make you well enough too. I am amazed at cancer patients. You are one tough cookie. I cannot imagine how scary it can be. I remember what my husband went though with dialysis and a kidney transplant. Each day he has his kidney is a good day. We had a lot of scares along the way, but he is alive today because is a tough stubborn man along with the great medical team and one tough and stubborn wife. *lol* I know he would be okay if something happened to me, but someone needs to be around to try to keep him in line. The sad fact is we cannot expect on his own family to be here for him. GRRR!!! He got more love, support and understanding from our four legged family members in the last 17 years than his own family.

Yes, I remember you telling us about your husband going through dialysis. That’s ROUGH indeed. I think a lot of my progress aside from having a great medical team, is the fact that I’m as tenacious as an English bulldog. And like my tuxedo cat who decided that being diabetic was boring and reversed.  Determination is a lot of winning the battle against disease or disability.  Encouragement and even a little faith don’t hurt, either.

[Arwen Evenstar]

@lookeyloo, I had a friend who went through what you did. He successfully sued DePuy and won a sizable award, and he’s doing fine.   He’s not one who is into suing people, but he felt upset enough by the inconvenience and health scare. 

I’m so very sorry you are having to deal with this mess. I hope they can clean up your blood.  Heavy metal is only good when it’s music  but no good when it’s poisoning us. My friend had cobalt poisoning .

I’m glad they caught it  and I pray it hasn’t done too much damage to your vital organs and that you’ll make the right decision for yourself wrt to your options.{{{{{HUGS}}}}