Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[emma675]

Arwen and our other Houston peeps, please check in when you can! I'm worried, it's been very, very bad down in Houston and south Texas. 

[crazycatlady58]

Not sure how I quoted   myself  I did not mean to.

I am fine. I am north  of Houston  we are having  a lot of rain a areas around  me are flooding  I am getting  a little  concerned  but that is because  I over worry. Other places  are in bad shape . Hopefully  Arwen checks in soon.

[Westiepeach]

Sending prayers and good thoughts to all of my hurricane peeps. Hoping flooding is at a minimum, and damage is also minimal. Check in when you can! Full frontal hugs to all!

[Love2dance]

12 hours ago, OneMoreStop said:

Help. My husband and my teen are fighting. She's a good girl and he's a loose cannon. I feel so helpess and broken for her. He wants total respect without understanding what bothers her or who she is. It's late here and not the time to do it. I feel like he is taken total advantage of her exhaustion. I've made it clear that they need to talk it out and air their differences. She is a dream child and just an introvert. She is aftraid of approaching him. Many of factors. We are physically safe and I am aware of what is spoken

@OneMoreStop, Sending you love, and hugs, and the courage to do whatever you need to keep you and your daughter safe from abuse. I lived with that for 24 years and can only say my life has been so much better away from my ex. But my children were 18 and 20, so that made it easier to make the break. I'm so glad you are getting counseling and I also agree that documentation and a good lawyer would be mandatory if you decide to leave before your daughter is 18. You have so much on your plate right now. Hope you are getting comfort sharing with us.

[crazycatlady58]

2 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

Sending prayers and good thoughts to all of my hurricane peeps. Hoping flooding is at a minimum, and damage is also minimal. Check in when you can! Full frontal hugs to all!

Thanks sadly the flooding  and damage  is in a lot of areas is catastrophic . 

[Love2dance]

5 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Thanks sadly the flooding  and damage  is in a lot of areas is catastrophic . 

The pictures we are seeing on the weather channel are unbelievable and they are saying more is to come. Hoping they can rescue those in need and provide enough help for those stranded in their homes. Devastating. Stay safe.

[crazycatlady58]

Thank you I will, my area  in town does not seem to flood. Hopefully  my company will let us be closed  tomorrow  also. Even if we do not get as much  rsin as expected  I do not see us being busy.

[Arwen Evenstar]

4 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Quote

 

Arwen  how are you? Any high water?

Thankfully, we are still dry and have power and consider ourselves thankful and blessed. It would have been catastrophic for 2.5 million in Houston ( 6 million in our metro area) to be stuck in a giant parking lot and our cars could gave been turned into coffins had the storm struck before we could all have gotten out.  

The main lanes on most if not all of our freeways are under water.  Several hospitals including our trauma center have been evacuated.  You know you are in trouble when the US Coast Guard is on your roadways.  Pray for us as well as the other communities impacted.

[crazycatlady58]

I love how people  are coming  out with their  personal  boats and helping  evacuate  people . You see both the bad side and good side of people  at a time like this. So far we seem to be seeing  the good  side.

[bythelake]

6 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Thankfully, we are still dry and have power and consider ourselves thankful and blessed. It would have been catastrophic for 2.5 million in Houston ( 6 million in our metro area) to be stuck in a giant parking lot and our cars could gave been turned into coffins had the storm struck before we could all have gotten out.  

The main lanes on most if not all of our freeways are under water.  Several hospitals including our trauma center have been evacuated.  You know you are in trouble when the US Coast Guard is on your roadways.  Pray for us as well as the other communities impacted.

Stay safe all you peeps in the Houston area, we are watching it unfold on tv and it is truly devastating.. Our prayers are with you all.

[Arwen Evenstar]

15 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

I love how people  are coming  out with their  personal  boats and helping  evacuate  people . You see both the bad side and good side of people  at a time like this. So far we seem to be seeing  the good  side.

Yes, people are really stepping up to help and it's  heartwarming. Watching this unfold has been so heartbreaking.  It's so surreal to watch this.  You almost can't believe what you're seeing.  Houston schools were supposed to start tomorrow, but now won't until after Labor Day.  Hobby Airport is closed until Wednesday.  All public transportation has been suspended until further notice. 

[lookeyloo]

What a mess!  I keep in touch with my "peeps" in South Louisiana and heard that the Cajun Navy has been authorized to come help.  they are a great group.  No grifters!!  We really feel for all of you in the Houston/Southwest Louisiana area.  

[MORGANH]

Thank you again everyone.  I've documented everything and have a plan to keep my daughter out of my house while I 'm not here. I've been living this with him for 19 years and have been good at redirecting him when it comes to me when necessary. The plan has always been to leave. I just need to get her through this. I can't get her to therapy- he woould never sign off on it. He thinks he's in the right. He suggested therapy once when he was blaming me for issues and I told him "ok then you'll have to talk about x and x and x" . He didn't like that. He pretended not to remember some of the things which I now know is classic manipulation. So he dropped therapy. This was years ago. I wish I could do it sooner, but my daughter will suffer the consequences.

Thank you again 

[DangerousMinds]

I hope you can get your daughter out of there.

[GeeGolly]

@OneMoreStop, your husband does not need to "sign off" for your daughter to get therapy, all you have to do is make her an appointment and bring her. Or she could seek out a counselor at her school, because it appears to that your daughter is suffering consequences now. I hope you're able to get your child some added support if you both are to remain with your husband.

[CherryMalotte]

Quote

Now that he has begun an attempt at "parenting"15 years in, it feels kind of late. I warned him years ago to get involved and his answer always was "when you have something  to do come get me"

OneMoreStop - I am that daughter.  The day my mother died, laying there in the hospice bed, my father made a move to hug me.  He never had before in my life, and I turned on him and spat out 'you are 49 years to late for that shit' and walked out of the room.  And now, because he's lived his life with his head up his ass I am his driver and caretaker of the bills.  You know, the responsible one.  And I hate hate hate it, and have no feelings for him whatsoever.  None, zip, zilch.  Fuck that shit - you daughter's father has missed that boat, at one point when she hits magic number 18 and truly decides not to have anything to do with him, good for her.  She should not have to put up with that toxic relationship just because he put some DNA in the mix.  It's all his loss.  One day he'll wonder why she's not around...and he'll have nobody to blame but himself.  She should never be ashamed or even think twice about cutting him out of her life, or even just limiting her time around him.  Hopefully counseling will help her see that.

[Jellybeans]

12 hours ago, OneMoreStop said:

Thank you again everyone.  I've documented everything and have a plan to keep my daughter out of my house while I 'm not here. I've been living this with him for 19 years and have been good at redirecting him when it comes to me when necessary. The plan has always been to leave. I just need to get her through this. I can't get her to therapy- he woould never sign off on it. He thinks he's in the right. He suggested therapy once when he was blaming me for issues and I told him "ok then you'll have to talk about x and x and x" . He didn't like that. He pretended not to remember some of the things which I now know is classic manipulation. So he dropped therapy. This was years ago. I wish I could do it sooner, but my daughter will suffer the consequences.

Thank you again 

Your husband does not have to sign off on anything.  You are the parent and can sign off on therapy.

Remember you have as much, if not more power than him.  Contact a domestic violence shelter.  Emotional violence counts as well.  They should be able to provide both of you with assistance.

[bythelake]

Hope the posters in the Houston area are ok. I see Arwen has posted today but Crazycatlady hasn't. The pictures on the news are just heartbreaking. Please stay safe.

[crazycatlady58]

3 minutes ago, bythelake said:

Hope the posters in the Houston area are ok. I see Arwen has posted today but Crazycatlady hasn't. The pictures on the news are just heartbreaking. Please stay safe.

I am fine. Thank you for asking. I am in no danger of flooding, have electricity  and food and water. I did not have to open the store  so that's good . My heart breaks  for all the people  stranded and out of their homes. TV. Is showing  Houston , but there are  many  small towns  around  Houston  that are in the same shape . 

[bythelake]

58 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

I am fine. Thank you for asking. I am in no danger of flooding, have electricity  and food and water. I did not have to open the store  so that's good . My heart breaks  for all the people  stranded and out of their homes. TV. Is showing  Houston , but there are  many  small towns  around  Houston  that are in the same shape . 

So glad to hear from you. The news reports are just devastating. Stay safe.

[jennblevins]

On a non-storm-related subject, I'd like to say thank you to @BckpckFullaNinjas for posting that helpful farther/further mnemonic in the Jinger/Jeremy thread -- it popped into my head today when I was trying to figure out which one to use in a work email. 

[bigskygirl]

Those poor people! I cannot imagine what they are going though right now. {{{HUGS}}}

[Rabbittron]

A funny thing happened to my iPhone it refreshed itself and all my icons got changed and now this site has the gay flag as the icon ?

[bigskygirl]

17 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

A funny thing happened to my iPhone it refreshed itself and all my icons got changed and now this site has the gay flag as the icon ?

A message from above. *lol*

[Temperance]

22 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

A message from above. *lol*

yes, clearly a SIGN.

[MORGANH]

As I go through my issues surrounded by so much support, with I pray for those in the Houston area that are going through the most traumatic time right now.  I hope they can be safe, saved and receive the support that they so desperately need. You have all be a lifeline for me. I can only hope that they can experience the support and help that I have received from you when I needed you most. 

We may not know each other individually but it is so evident to me that words of comfort and guidance can restore a spirit. I pray that those in need can experience this as I have from you. I know that the experiences of those affected by the hurricane will be drastically  different from mine and our roads to recovery will not be equal, but you all have made a difference for me . I hope that those affected by the hurricane can experience the help, courage and wisdom that I have received from you in these past few days.

[Rabbittron]

 I want to tell the people who have been flooded out that I know exactly what you're going through because people do say but they know what you're going through but they really don't.  I do know what you're going through because I lost everything I had in  the Boulder Colorado flood a few years ago and I am still recovering from it to this day.

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Rabbittron said:

 I want to tell the people who have been flooded out that I know exactly what you're going through because people do say but they know what you're going through but they really don't.  I do know what you're going through because I lost everything I had in  the Boulder Colorado flood a few years ago and I am still recovering from it to this day.

So sorry. I feel you, we are still feeling the effects of a devastating weather event 6 years ago. It takes along time to recover financially, emotionally and with everyday practical matters. My heart goes out to you as well as all the folks in TX.

[crazycatlady58]

There are some many. On face book at least  3 of my high school  friends  have been flooded out. No telling  how many  more . This is never good at any age but we are in our 60s. There are many more that are older who are in the same position . Now they are releasing  water from the dams which will make it worse by the river. A question  please , how much airtime  is this being given  nationally ?  I know  the weather  channel  is covering  it almost  24/7 but that coverage  will lessen because  Harvey is moving  to La. and they will have major problems also.  Is it just a news update  every once in a while  ? Just curious . 

[Nysha]

On 8/27/2017 at 9:12 AM, OneMoreStop said:

 Yes, she may testify as a teenager and specify who she wants to live with but unless we can prove physical abuse or abandonment, he'd still get some kind of custody and my daughter said no way.

 

Staying until she is 18 may be a better option than leaving right now. If you're there, you can help put physical distance between your daughter and your husband. Which it sounds like you're doing by having her go to your mom's after school instead of having your husband pick her up. Is she in counseling? If not, and your husband objects, you might be able to convince him by telling him that her grief from losing her grandfather is making it difficult to open up to him. If you leave now, it's going to be hard to prove abuse and chances are he's going to, at the bare minimum, get unsupervised visitation and you won't be there to support her.

[MargeGunderson]

33 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

 A question  please , how much airtime  is this being given  nationally ?  I know  the weather  channel  is covering  it almost  24/7 but that coverage  will lessen because  Harvey is moving  to La. and they will have major problems also.  Is it just a news update  every once in a while  ? Just curious . 

It's all over the local news here in the greater Boston area. NPR was doing special coverage most of the day yesterday; I'm not sure about today. Stay safe!

[Marigold]

43 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

A question  please , how much airtime  is this being given  nationally ?  I know  the weather  channel  is covering  it almost  24/7 but that coverage  will lessen because  Harvey is moving  to La. and they will have major problems also.  Is it just a news update  every once in a while  ? Just curious . 

It's Harvey 24/7 up here in the NYC area. We are all very aware of what is going on and how people are suffering etc. 

I hear nothing but sympathy, prayers, well wishes etc for the areas that are flooded and continue to be battered.  

[crazycatlady58]

Thanks  for  letting  me  know . I feel  helpless ,  I am fine but with no car and I want to help..somewhere...but I cannot . It is nice to know people  are aware and from what I see on the news we are getting  help from all over . I want to thank everyone  for there prayers  they are much appreciated . Again I am fine  but so many people  are not. I have been off work  sense Sunday  but I can use vacation  pay for that , I am becoming  concerned  about the store staying open, with so many  homeless  would  they be able  to afford  what we sell.

[Marigold]

6 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Thanks  for  letting  me  know . I feel  helpless ,  I am fine but with no car and I want to help..somewhere...but I cannot . It is nice to know people  are aware and from what I see on the news we are getting  help from all over . I want to thank everyone  for there prayers  they are much appreciated . Again I am fine  but so many people  are not. I have been off work  sense Sunday  but I can use vacation  pay for that , I am becoming  concerned  about the store staying open, with so many  homeless  would  they be able  to afford  what we sell.

I think as the storm rages, it's difficult to help down there.  I saw last night on local news that the NY/NJ area is now sending help and more will come. 

After living through Sandy, I know that the out of state help was what made the difference. I don't know about funding but it was the boots on the ground that got my power back on after weeks. Michigan workers came to my area. 

I know you guys like politics so...there is some local discussion how Ted Cruz did not vote to fund Sandy relief but is asking for Harvey relief. He is currently wiggling around that topic.   However, that is political crap and has nothing to do with actual humans. People here are supportive of getting help down to Texas, asap.  Ted Cruz? Not a favorite up here.  

[bythelake]

You have made some excellent points.  My ex dil is an alcoholic. When my son saw the first lawyer, he was told that she would probably get custody because she was their mother. He stayed because he was afraid of what would happen if she were their sole caregiver. Fast forward 2 yrs and 2 DUI's, one night she physically abused their daughter. He grabbed the kids went to the police station and filed for a restraining order, then filed for divorce.  Because he filed a complaint of abuse against her DFS was involved. She was not compliant with their requirements.  She refused counseling, AA meetings and still drank. The court was not happy with her and there was no custody battle. He was given full custody, but she still received limited visitation but no overnights, no vacation time. She did not contest the ruling.

 My son had lots of documentation.  As I mentioned before, everyone had to see the court appointed psychiatrist. The children gave statements to him and even her brother and sister threw her under the bus.  

My grandchildren benefited tremendously from therapy. Now they are both over 18 and doing well.

Sorry, the above post was meant for @Nysha thought I linked it. 

[doodlebug]

2 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

There are some many. On face book at least  3 of my high school  friends  have been flooded out. No telling  how many  more . This is never good at any age but we are in our 60s. There are many more that are older who are in the same position . Now they are releasing  water from the dams which will make it worse by the river. A question  please , how much airtime  is this being given  nationally ?  I know  the weather  channel  is covering  it almost  24/7 but that coverage  will lessen because  Harvey is moving  to La. and they will have major problems also.  Is it just a news update  every once in a while  ? Just curious . 

The national news shows are covering it extensively, devoting about half of their time or more to it since the weekend.  It is also the focus of our local news shows.  Every local broadcast I've seen has had at least a couple of stories; usually one summarizing the current status with the weather team and another giving information about local connections to the flood (people with family down there) as well as information on how to contribute to disaster relief.  

Last night's local news spent most of their time with the local Red Cross; explaining how to volunteer even if you can't go down there, why it is better to give cash than stuff (with sad footage of all the donations that were wasted in previous disasters because they couldn't be sent to the right places at the right times) and even information on how to donate blood, reminding everyone that the Southeastern Texas Red Cross wasn't able to  run donor centers for now and the foreseeable future and every little bit helps.

Edited August 29, 2017 by doodlebug

[crazycatlady58]

Thank you.

[Barb23]

Hi guys!  I've been out of the loop for over a week.  I was  in hospital with bad case of pneumonia.  Home now & recuperating. Pulmonologist not sure how I got it. Went to ER with my usual vomiting spell to get IV & boom -pneumonia shows up on xray.  I was in ICU for a few days & think I had every test in the book, especially when I felt the worst.  I  have some funny stories to share later. I was  really hallucinating at times. Nurses said it happens & it has for me before.  Funny part was that I answered all their questions  correctly - my name, name of hospital, day of week, why I was there, etc. Also have to share roommate stories as well. There's nothing like your roommate getting a bed extender put on her bed at 5 am!  Well off to recuperating & catching up with the Duggars.

[Arwen Evenstar]

 @Barb23--sorry to hear of your illness, and I hope you get your strength back soon.  If you don't "feel right" after a few days, INSIST that they take any complaint you have seriously.  Pneumonia doesn't always get knocked out first time.

@Rabbittron--thank you for sharing your story about your flood experience. So sorry you had to go through that. The recovery in Houston will be long and hard for many people. There's heartbreak everywhere you look.

Mr E and I are still safe and dry and have power, and we are so thankful. We feel bad since we're both out of work and have been for a long time and don't have much in the way of funds to donate. Because of my illness, I'm unable to volunteer any help due to my immune system being weak. I feel sad for those who have had to lose a week's wages due to their places of employment being closed or they're unable to get to work because of having to evacuate, impassable roads or they have to rely on public transportation, which has been suspended.  Many people can't afford that.

Lots of evacuation orders are going on due to rising rivers and levee breaks.  It seems easier to ask which communities do not have to evacuate vs those who do. The system is almost out of here and is expected to be on its way to Louisiana around 6 pm tonight.

[mimionthebeach]

5 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

There are some many. On face book at least  3 of my high school  friends  have been flooded out. No telling  how many  more . This is never good at any age but we are in our 60s. There are many more that are older who are in the same position . Now they are releasing  water from the dams which will make it worse by the river. A question  please , how much airtime  is this being given  nationally ?  I know  the weather  channel  is covering  it almost  24/7 but that coverage  will lessen because  Harvey is moving  to La. and they will have major problems also.  Is it just a news update  every once in a while  ? Just curious . 

In Toronto, Harvey is still headlining, state lines notwithstanding. 

[crazycatlady58]

Thank you mimionthebeach, yes Arwen ,  and Louisiana  is one place  that needs it less   than we did.

[emma675]

I'm in Dallas so Harvey is dominating everything, everywhere. We've got neighborhoods, businesses, animal shelters, people mobilizing to gather donations, drive down with boats, take people/pets in, etc. It's going to be months if not years of clean up so if you can't donate just now, keep it in mind for the future.

[crazycatlady58]

So true.

[lookeyloo]

All true and so sad.  Louisiana hasn't recovered all the way from Katrina.  And think of the folks that relocated to Houston from the New Orleans area. Some of them are going through the same thing.  We had damage from Gustave.  And then Baton Rouge had the Great Flood of 2016 and lots of folks still aren't back in their homes.  There is misery and heartache everywhere.  I'm donating to the Houston Food Bank, because, well, people have to eat.

[Marshmallow Mollie]

We are currently getting hit by Tropical Storm Irma (it is no big deal, even in light of Harvey). You know how these storms are distinct - just like how you can feel it in the air that it is going to snow, you know how tropical storms/hurricanes feel different than a thunderstorm? It's a weird mind fuck to be reading about Harvey and seeing the pictures, while having a tropical storm outside. 

My area was hit hard by Matthew last year. People drowned in cars, people couldn't be rescued during the storm, National Guard, curfews...the whole nine. I cried when, however many days later, I could be a Lookey Lou and saw the flooding. My heart goes out those affected by Harvey.

[Marigold]

Where are people donating?

I'd like to donate whatever we can but I'm always afraid the donations don't make it to the people in need. 

[doodlebug]

5 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Where are people donating?

I'd like to donate whatever we can but I'm always afraid the donations don't make it to the people in need. 

Money is always welcome as it allows those providing aid to put it where it is most needed and avoid the huge expense of storing and transporting goods.  I am personally fond of the Salvation Army in these situations.  I once practiced at a SA hospital and a more dedicated group of people who live their faith in a very concrete way you will never find. I loved 'em. They've also got an excellent track record as far as minimizing their expenses/overhead and maximizing the services they provide.

http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/

[Marshmallow Mollie]

I worked for our local food bank when Katrina hit. Some of our staff were deployed by Feeding America to the Houston Food Bank. Feeding America set up a food bank in a Walmart parking lot in New Orleans. At home, we were slammed with donations and volunteers to pack donations to send. It was an incredible time!!

But a few weeks and months later, all the food and money donations were going to Katrina victims, which is great of course, but we suffered because of it. Our food bank had four aisles of food, and we went down to two. We had to ration out food to agencies. It was tough. I've already warned my friends who work in the nonprofit sector to be prepared for donations to go down.

Long story long, anyone can use your time, your money, and/or your donations of supplies. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

2 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Thank you mimionthebeach, yes Arwen ,  and Louisiana  is one place  that needs it less   than we did.

Louisiana doesn't need any more water, either.  The pumps in NOLA are still not fixed.  Lake Charles to NOLA have had a glut of flooding rains already this month.

https://www.youcaring.com/victimsofhurricaneharvey-915053

This was started by Houston Texans player JJ Watt, a local favorite.

[doodlebug]

10 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Louisiana doesn't need any more water, either.  The pumps in NOLA are still not fixed.  Lake Charles to NOLA have had a glut of flooding rains already this month.

https://www.youcaring.com/victimsofhurricaneharvey-915053

This was started by Houston Texans player JJ Watt, a local favorite.

JJ Watt is quite a guy.  He started this on Monday and has already raised over $3.5 million.