S6.E12: Meet Me At The Altar

[SummerDreams]

Quote

Walk away or say "I do"? Life changing decisions await the remaining couples as the big day approaches and pre wedding festivities kickoff.

I was right for all three of the remaining couples. It was obvious that Chelsea and Jimmy created all this drama to get air time. It was obvious Clay would say no. He is not ready for marriege, he said. So why apply for this show?

Bad season in my eyes, almost everyone was there to be on TV, fake behaviors, fake love, fake commitment, even fake eyelashes.

Edited March 6 by SummerDreams

[Chicago Redshirt]

I am addicted to this show despite how it often irks me. I do not want another participant to claim someone is their "person" or their "best friend," after a few weeks of dating at most. Unless someone has been living under a rock for their entire lives, it shouldn't be possible for someone to be a best friend to a 20+ year old in that time. 

Anyway, I feel like this episode revealed a lot about Clay that put some of what he said and did more in context. He is not merely athletic, but he was an All-American track stud. That makes his thing about if AD ever got out of shape he would make her get her ass back to the gym more understandable (if not condonable). It seemed clear for most of the season that Clay had issues with his dad's infidelity running through his head. But seeing his dad -- even though he's obviously a cheating scumbag, he just had a ton of riz, as the kids say. I could see even more how that would mess up Clay's mindset (as well as where Clay gets his from). Even if there had been a chance for him to say yes, it was utterly torpedoed when the dad showed up.

Clay brought up concerns about AD's finances as being a stumbling block too, but I don't remember them ever discussing that. We saw that Clay has been successful and has a nice house and a lot of stuff, but I don't know if we saw or heard much about AD's money or lack thereof.

I feel really bad for AD, and a little sympathetic for Clay. Most of the "I don't" couples have had (IMO) a clear villain, and I feel it's less so with them. I want someone great for AD, and I do wonder if she thought Clay was truly that, or if she just was happy to be picked. Going back to the pods, I think that she was open to dating Matthew when he was such a weirdo suggests it was less about finding the right one, and more about finding anyone. Which again, is a shame, because AD seems a genuinely sweet person. I hate to sound old-fashioned, but maybe she should not have taken Clay for all those test-drives. 

I know there are contracts and all that, but I don't know how you could ever be like "I love you, you're my person, but I'm not going to marry you in a public humiliating way. Oh, and I want to continue to date you while I work on myself." Good on AD for calling it quits...I hope. I guess we'll see in the reunion show.

I will give Jimmy a little credit for not making Chelsea go through the charade of a wedding to say no since it was clear that was where he was at from the jump. The whiplash of him, though, when he goes "I've no doubt you're my person (grr)" and then seemingly in about a minute "I'm set on not going." is bizarre. As is his reasoning (at least as he articulated it): she said multiple times that Amy and Johnny were the strongest couple (which is apparently objectively true, and even if it were not, why should that matter that she thinks another couple is stronger than them?) and she complained about him being close to a woman friend he slept with still and said something on camera about it when he had asked her not to. I'm with Chelsea: Jimmy was making excuses since he didn't want to get married to a non-Megan Fox lookalike. I would have much more respect for him if he had been honest enough to say "Look, I tried, but it's clear this isn't working" without the continued talk of how he loved her, and how finding her was the greatest thing he had done, and she's his person. He doesn't love her because if he did, he wouldn't do her like that. He obviously did greater things in his life. And you don't walk away from your person like that over a few arguments and relatively minor issues. 

Congrats to Amy and Johnny. It's funny: I think individually they seem cool, but as a couple they are boring and charisma-free. 

[NeenerNeener]

Yeah, pretty much ended the way I thought it should. I wonder if there were other couples in this iteration that we didn't see, and how many of them actually got married. I know that's happened in previous seasons. 

[Empress1]

13 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

Clay brought up concerns about AD's finances as being a stumbling block too, but I don't remember them ever discussing that. We saw that Clay has been successful and has a nice house and a lot of stuff, but I don't know if we saw or heard much about AD's money or lack thereof.

I don’t think we did either - I would have remembered because I think discussing and being on the same page about finances is crucial. I hated that Clay kept kissing AD after - I was like “get off her!” She wasn’t kissing him back and I found it to be kind of disrespectful of him - she’s humiliated and heartbroken, give her physical space. I know what AD meant about feeling used - his next GF is probably who he’ll marry, and she feels like that woman gets the benefits of her work on Clay. She said herself she picks men who need fixing; she needs a man who is fully formed.

(But AD, girl, “what the fuck?” in front of the pastor? Ha!)

18 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

The whiplash of him, though, when he goes "I've no doubt you're my person (grr)" and then seemingly in about a minute "I'm set on not going." is bizarre.

And it seemed like Jimmy was fully dumping Chelsea, not just saying he couldn’t marry her. I didn’t get the vibe that he was saying “I don’t think we’re ready to get married but let’s still be a couple.” She’s not it for him at all (or anyone, she needs some therapy first). When they were fighting she kept making the case for why they shouldn’t get married without meaning to, and then he basically said that - “thanks for confirming that I’m doing the right thing,” or something, and I thought “ouch.” But they have no business marrying. 

Amy and Johnny really do seem happy, so good for them.

When was this filmed? Wondering how much time has lapsed between the weddings and reunion.

[SummerDreams]

18 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

When was this filmed?

I think it was September of 2023. But they will say it on the reunion.

[Caseysgirl]

What was Clay’s purpose in signing up for this show?  He telegraphed his ultimate answer with every remark he made.  We could all see weeks ago that his admiration for his father and, I suppose his father’s choice of lifestyle, trumped whatever feelings he had for AD ( or any woman, even his own mother). She was a lot more understanding than I would be.  Meanwhile, the mothers were the true heroes here. Clay’s father, not taking ownership of his part in his son’s messed up opinion of marriage & trying to blame his OWN father, really aggravated me.  I’m hoping that AD stays done.

[retired watcher]

I FF a lot. Did they say why AD walked herself down the aisle? Why not let Mom do it?

I am so glad Jimmy broke up before having a wedding. They both need a lot of work before getting into another relationship. I think Jimmy is probably already in a relationship with the girl he slept with. She needs to drop his sorry ass too.

[Chicago Redshirt]

20 minutes ago, retired watcher said:

I FF a lot. Did they say why AD walked herself down the aisle? Why not let Mom do it?

I am so glad Jimmy broke up before having a wedding. They both need a lot of work before getting into another relationship. I think Jimmy is probably already in a relationship with the girl he slept with. She needs to drop his sorry ass too.

I don't think they explicitly said. But some folks are traditionalists: it's Dad or nothing. I don't remember if the show established that AD's dad has passed, was not approving of the possible marriage, wasn't available or what. Also, some people don't get "given away." 

As to Jimmy/girl friend with benefit(s), I dunno. I find it plausible that they just had a fling that they moved past.  The notion of him trying to preserve her "honor" strikes me as ridiculous. 

I think Jimmy has almost certainly tried to hook up with Jess since the show wrapped filming, and almost certainly succeeded. 

[Empress1]

44 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

I don't remember if the show established that AD's dad has passed,

He passed. She commented on how surreal it was to have to put “deceased” for him on the marriage license. (Been there, thought not for a marriage license. Those moments when it hits you again are hard.) I believe her parents were divorced when her dad passed.

44 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

As to Jimmy/girl friend with benefit(s), I dunno. I find it plausible that they just had a fling that they moved past.  The notion of him trying to preserve her "honor" strikes me as ridiculous. 

Yeah, it sounded to me like they were friends, hooked up once, and decided not to make a go of it as a couple. I don’t know that I understand his motivations for keeping that a secret, but I will say that I agreed with him in that if I can’t trust you to keep my confidence (and Chelsea wasn’t really sorry), that’s a problem.

1 hour ago, Caseysgirl said:

Meanwhile, the mothers were the true heroes here. Clay’s father, not taking ownership of his part in his son’s messed up opinion of marriage & trying to blame his OWN father, really aggravated me.  I’m hoping that AD stays done.

The moment when AD thanked her mother for helping her leave and her mother said “you are so welcome” made me tear up. Her mom is a real one. Clay’s father blaming HIS father for his infidelity made me mad too. I was like … sir, at your big age? Please be serious. Clay’s parents having that conversation was almost too intimate - that was real shit.

[SummerDreams]

56 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

I don't remember if the show established that AD's dad has passed, was not approving of the possible marriage, wasn't available or what.

He died last year and it's something that hurts her a lot.

56 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

As to Jimmy/girl friend with benefit(s), I dunno. I find it plausible that they just had a fling that they moved past.  The notion of him trying to preserve her "honor" strikes me as ridiculous. 

He said it happened once and I appreciate his wanting to keep it a secret for her sake. She was kind enough to appear on a ridiculous show for him, the least he could do was keep her private life private.

58 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

I think Jimmy has almost certainly tried to hook up with Jess since the show wrapped filming, and almost certainly succeeded. 

Oh for sure!

[retired watcher]

2 hours ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

I don't think they explicitly said. But some folks are traditionalists: it's Dad or nothing. I don't remember if the show established that AD's dad has passed, was not approving of the possible marriage, wasn't available or what. Also, some people don't get "given away." 

As to Jimmy/girl friend with benefit(s), I dunno. I find it plausible that they just had a fling that they moved past.  The notion of him trying to preserve her "honor" strikes me as ridiculous. 

I think Jimmy has almost certainly tried to hook up with Jess since the show wrapped filming, and almost certainly succeeded. 

Oh I don't look at it as given away. I loved having my parents walk me down the aisle. In a Jewish ceremony you aren't given away.

I don't know about Jimmy and Jessica. I don't think she was so thrilled when she met him. I think the flirting was more in line with look what you could have had. I heard speculations that Jimmy wasn't in it for marriage so that is why he didn't want to hurt a 10 year old.

[ZaldamoWilder]

“you met me but you wasn’t good to me”

::flaps open MLK fan::  Ch’urch, let us pray.

When Clay’s nogoodassdaddy said you know I didn’t have too many examples…and Ms. Margarita said now Imma stop you right there.  I forgave you, but you need to be accountable for your actions and give your son a full-throated apology for some of the things you did that I’m just finding out about as a result of this show.   Big age trash ass man in a big age trash ass pity party.  No!  Including A.D., her mama Tesh and Ms. Rita, Clay has been cloaked with women who’ve coddled and encouraged him in the gentlest ways that it’s possible to treat a grown man.   At the end of the day, she’s fortunate.  He could’ve let her think he was healed and tried faking it till he was making it.  She’s a better woman than I could ever imagine being.  I tapped out at the luncheon where they were talking about his work schedule keeping him a away from home and he delivered this “then what’s the problem then?” with a lil too much sauce, for me.   Slickmouthing in the middle of a calm conversation is an automatic abort mission.   But if all of the things that kept him from saying yes weren’t specific to her, why bring your commitment phobe ass on a show whose purpose is to wind up in a commitment?   A.D. “it was a waste of my fucking time”…..for all of us, gurl.  For all of us.

Producers I’m gone need for you to do better, much damb better.  When a jilted bride is leaving her own wedding in a double-R, the driver needs to open her door.  TF?

I see the #FreeJimmy movement was a success.   If we can imagine a couple who’s been married for years and the wife says something in front of company that was shared on the condition of confidentiality, that’s a rough climb, even with loads of prior trust built in.   Her insecurities drove everything out of proportion, she didn’t accurately listen to what was being said in the moment, had no idea what it meant to respect boundaries and wasn’t interested in initiating de-escalation.   There’s no upside.

I never remember Amy and Johnny until I see em.  She needs to get her goofy ass on the pill though.  There’s a man made contraceptive so popularly effective that it doesn’t even have a name, it’s just called THE pill and she’s worried about how it will affect hormones that it was manufactured to work in conjunction with.  It’s giving Disney.  You’re a whole wife, talk to your OBGYN.

 

 

 

 

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, retired watcher said:

I heard speculations that Jimmy wasn't in it for marriage so that is why he didn't want to hurt a 10 year old.

If he’s not ready to be a stepdad, he shouldn’t be (and I maintain that I don’t think a single parent of an underage child going on this show is appropriate). Even if his reason is “I don’t feel like it,” that’s a good reason - the best reason, really.

44 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

If we can imagine a couple who’s been married for years and the wife says something in front of company that was shared on the condition of confidentiality, that’s a rough climb, even with loads of prior trust built in. 

And “company” in this case is “everybody with access to a Netflix subscription.” It would be bad enough if she just told her group of friends, but she told EVERYBODY. I don’t care about Jimmy and his friend one way or the other, but you should be assured that your person won’t put your business on front street if you ask them not to. And if they do, they should be genuinely apologetic. Chelsea was like “I mean, it’s how I felt so whatever.”

44 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Slickmouthing in the middle of a calm conversation is an automatic abort mission.  

His whole comportment screams “not ready.” Even the way he approached her at the altar said it. “I mean, why does the timing matter” - sir, please read the room and approach the situation with some humility. You don’t get to get defensive here. The way he handled their talk afterward said it - don’t be hugging up on her when you broke her heart! If you want absolution, go to church. 

I said elsewhere that he’s probably one relationship away from being ready and I stand by that. AD might end up as the one who got away.

[ZaldamoWilder]

52 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

If he’s not ready to be a stepdad, he shouldn’t be (and I maintain that I don’t think a single parent of an underage child going on this show is appropriate). Even if his reason is “I don’t feel like it,” that’s a good reason - the best reason, really.

And “company” in this case is “everybody with access to a Netflix subscription.” It would be bad enough if she just told her group of friends, but she told EVERYBODY. I don’t care about Jimmy and his friend one way or the other, but you should be assured that your person won’t put your business on front street if you ask them not to. And if they do, they should be genuinely apologetic. Chelsea was like “I mean, it’s how I felt so whatever.”

His whole comportment screams “not ready.” Even the way he approached her at the altar said it. “I mean, why does the timing matter” - sir, please read the room and approach the situation with some humility. You don’t get to get defensive here. The way he handled their talk afterward said it - don’t be hugging up on her when you broke her heart! If you want absolution, go to church. 

I said elsewhere that he’s probably one relationship away from being ready and I stand by that. AD might end up as the one who got away.

Hmmph! Gurl in the Council of Bosoms group chat I said she went ahead and built a bear for some other lady.  Meanwhile, whomever that is might have a more Clay-pleasing face, but emotionally, he’ll never do better.  He’s gone be older than his old man in the club ass daddy by the time he realizes it too.

[eclectcmoi]

I guess Chelsea can be grateful that Jimmy didn't do to her, leaving her at the altar like Clay did to A.D. And we were spared the endless whines and pouts and so much of her drama.

My heart broke for A.D. I believe she truly was in love and Clay was just in lust. I know they know what they've signed up for but still... so painful. A.D. definitely deserves better than Clay and I hope she finds it.  

Jimmy and Amy are adorable and I hope they go the long haul.  Their families, actually all of the families that we saw were pretty incredible this season. 

Looking forward to the reunion! 

[Irlandesa]

8 hours ago, Empress1 said:

When was this filmed? Wondering how much time has lapsed between the weddings and reunion.

This was filmed last March/April.  There's usually about year between filming and airing on LIB.  So this filmed spring 2023.  I believe Tampa filmed in Fall 2023 and we'll probably get that season then.  Minneapolis is filming now and we'll probably get that in spring 2025.  There may be another season filmed elsewhere in the US if they want to up to 3 a year but I'm guessing they'll fill in the breaks with international seasons.

5 hours ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

As to Jimmy/girl friend with benefit(s), I dunno. I find it plausible that they just had a fling that they moved past.  The notion of him trying to preserve her "honor" strikes me as ridiculous. 

I think it's because people can be weird about being friends with someone you hooked up with, especially if they're very platonic now.  I think honesty is the best policy but I can see why he'd want to let her control that revelation for future partners for herself instead of having it being shared to everyone. 

2 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

I never remember Amy and Johnny until I see em.  She needs to get her goofy ass on the pill though.  There’s a man made contraceptive so popularly effective that it doesn’t even have a name, it’s just called THE pill and she’s worried about how it will affect hormones that it was manufactured to work in conjunction with.  It’s giving Disney.  You’re a whole wife, talk to your OBGN.

She has shared that there are medical reasons she has been hesitant about the pill.  I'm sure they're working towards a solution but I'm guessing she couldn't make an appointment with her doctor within the confines of the filming schedule.   I know it takes me a while to get an appointment. 

What I don't get is why everyone is acting like they're not being intimate.   Amy has said that they're 'having fun' which means they could be doing a whole lot of sexual activity that don't involve a pregnancy risk.

Overall,  this wedding episode was better than many in the past even if it did come down to one couple sharing generational joy vs. another sharing generational pain.

I loved Amy and Johnny's families together and Clay's mom delivered the best line to her ex.  But I do wonder if Clay is ever going to truly be ready.  If they're still dating, I hope she's getting something out of the relationship. 

[DearEvette]

Oh, Chelsea. Yeah, keep proving to Jimmy why he was making he right decision.  I was kind of with her when he went from 'I love you, you did everything I wanted you to, You're my person." in one breath to 'I don't want to do this at all." in literally the next.

But then she kept minimizing their issues.  And then when she simply could not understand the importance of something told in confidence, I just couldn't with her.   Even the way she just kept saying it 'You fucked her' making it sound as disrespectful as she could.  Come on! He was right to tell you about his sexual history and specifically did it off screen so as to not put that woman's business on the street. And Chelsea just turned around and did them both dirty. All because she is so insecure.  That's right, Cry.  I can't believe I ended up team Jimmy out of all the guys.  Sigh.

Oh, Clay. You do not deserve.  But I think AD dodged a bullet.  I don't understand how he could stand there and smile and mug and joke with her mom knowing he was going to say no. And then to get in her space after and try to get hugs and kissing.

Oh Clay's dad.  GTFOH.

Oh, AD.  "What The fuck?' indeed.  You deserve better.  I hope she really is done.  And doesn't date him.  Please!!  On another note, she looked fantastic.  I love the unfussy, clean  look.  Her mother looked gorgeous as well.  Kinda reminds a just a little bit of Khandi Alexander.

My husband said their pastor was giving Proposition Joe (if you watch The Wire then you know...).  He also said Clay's dad looks like Merle (from the Walking Dead) only black.  LOL.

Honestly, Johnny and Amy were anti-climactic.  I am happy for them.  But they never captured my imagination.  They are a more successful Kelly and Kenny.

I am looking forward to the reunion.

[Empress1]

13 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

On another note, she looked fantastic.  I love the unfussy, clean  look.

I would have done a bolder lip, a necklace (I can hear my mother saying “you need something around your neck!”) and that slit was really high. I love a slit (I‘m tallish and have long legs) but I’d be worried about showing too much with a slit that high, so I’d want it closed a couple of inches.

[ZaldamoWilder]

4 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I would have done a bolder lip, a necklace (I can hear my mother saying “you need something around your neck!”) and that slit was really high. I love a slit (I‘m tallish and have long legs) but I’d be worried about showing too much with a slit that high, so I’d want it closed a couple of inches.

I told my sister I was disappointed that she didn’t have a MUA.    I was really looking forward to seeing her in a lash less ostrich-y and makeup with color in it.  Even if not different than normal, that’s probably the one day I’d want to look like a professional did my face. A lot of people liked/loved the dress.  It looked great on her, but it was a little nekkid for me.  Arms, chest, shoulders and thigh meat is a couple too many areas out on a day that’s supposed to be *sacred*

[LakeGal]

I thought AD's slit was much too high and wide.  She would have looked better with less leg showing.  

[Racj82]

13 hours ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

As to Jimmy/girl friend with benefit(s), I dunno. I find it plausible that they just had a fling that they moved past.  The notion of him trying to preserve her "honor" strikes me as ridiculous. 

Its not really ridiculous.

I think you are kind of trivializing.

Not everyone wants to be on TV or be famous. I'm sure the woman would not have appeared on the show if her business was put on full blast. I also bet Jimmy promised no such shenanigans would happen but Chelsea gonna Chelsea. She gets drunk and word vomits. Also, says hurtful things.

Any logical person would want to take a step back from that. Alcohol be damned

[Chicago Redshirt]

5 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Its not really ridiculous.

I think you are kind of trivializing.

Not everyone wants to be on TV or be famous. I'm sure the woman would not have appeared on the show if her business was put on full blast. I also bet Jimmy promised no such shenanigans would happen but Chelsea gonna Chelsea. She gets drunk and word vomits. Also, says hurtful things.

Any logical person would want to take a step back from that. Alcohol be damned

Let me articulate a little more why I feel it is ridiculous. And in retrospect, maybe ridiculous is the wrong word.

The friend in question hasn't been directly identified by the show. Now that might just be editing by LIB. Maybe Chelsea 100 percent outed the woman. We viewers can jump to the conclusion that it's probably one of Jimmy's female friends who met Chelsea, Barbara and Maddie, but it isn't for sure. 

If it is Barbara or Maddie, they both agreed to appear on the show. She put themselves in the narrative, knowing that she and Jimmy fucked and knowing that she and Jimmy text and talk constantly. If you know anything about reality or reality shows, you should expect that would come out that you slept together. Yes, she could have suspected that she'd only be portrayed as a good friend who happens to be a girl. But that seems a little naive to me.

But the main reason I think it ridiculous is that we aren't expecting Jimmy's friend to wear a scarlet A for having fucked him in the past. It's not something that is going to have the septa from Game of Thrones walking behind her with a bell and saying "Shame!" while she's driven through the streets naked.

Assuming the truth is as presented -- they slept together once, decided they don't work as a couple and remain close friends -- who really cares in 2024? 

Most members of the public probably won't. Admittedly, the internet contains gossips and people are speculating about which one it was and digging into the social media history of them. But at least some of that is driven by the mystery of it. If Jimmy had simply said "Barbara/Maddie/whoever and I had a fling but now it's over," I don't think there'd be nearly the same level of attention. Yes, it probably isn't a great feeling having thousands of people speculate about you. But in the long term, not a big deal that you had consensual sex with a guy once.

Most people who know them probably either already knew they'd fucked or suspected it. 

This is a different issue from Chelsea betraying Jimmy's confidence -- of course she shouldn't have done that.

In other words, I don't think it is wrong for Barbara/Maddie/whoever to want their privacy. A little naive, and if it's Barbara or Maddie, they volunteered to at least somewhat give up their privacy. 

However, I tend to doubt that is Jimmy's true motive in wanting to keep it confidential that he'd slept with a friend the one time. I think it is suspicious that he asked her to have it be confidential in the first place.

I wouldn't be surprised if Jimmy -- who has been either lying about his true intentions and feelings or been very confused about things from the moment he saw Chelsea -- asked her to keep it confidential because he and the friend have an ongoing thing or did it more than the once. 

So the large part of my thinking it is ridiculous is the notion that Jimmy was all Sir Galahad protecting the honor of his fair former bedmate when a) it's not a dishonor and b) I suspect ulterior motives.

[Starlight925]

While I feel for AD, we knew Clay, from the pods, from the get-go, was trying to talk himself into truly believing he wanted all this.  Remember he kept saying, in the pods, that attraction does matter (I agree with him, but not the point), and on the honeymoon, he made those comments about pushing her to get to the gym if she got off track.  

He had little shut-downs, which he tried to explain away.  He mentioned his "suave dad" so many times, and the fact that he didn't trust himself with respect to infidelity.  He stayed out late at least once that we know of without a great explanation, and AD kept believing him when he'd say but baby, I love you, baby, you're the one.

That convo between Clay's mom & dad was a bit painful to watch, as the man simply will not take accountability or responsibility for putting Clay in the middle of his unfaithful actions.  That stuff stays with you for a lifetime.

My dad's dad was a POS too, and my dad's mom broke down and tried to find "any man".  She'd take my dad's sister, who was then FOUR years old, to bars with her, while she tried to snag a man.  That sister ended up with the most painful of romantic lives as an adult, so we see how the cycles continue.

AD is a sweetheart, but she, like Clay's mom, fell for the suave, good-looking dude where she'd have to be on eggshells her whole life.  Had he said yes, she'd forever fear that of  a 3 lb. gain or some random female DM'ing him.

[Rlb8031]

35 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

However, I tend to doubt that is Jimmy's true motive in wanting to keep it confidential that he'd slept with a friend the one time. I think it is suspicious that he asked her to have it be confidential in the first place.

I wouldn't be surprised if Jimmy -- who has been either lying about his true intentions and feelings or been very confused about things from the moment he saw Chelsea -- asked her to keep it confidential because he and the friend have an ongoing thing or did it more than the once. 

So the large part of my thinking it is ridiculous is the notion that Jimmy was all Sir Galahad protecting the honor of his fair former bedmate when a) it's not a dishonor and b) I suspect ulterior motives.

I thought I heard him say that he wanted to not be shared because of how her current/future significant other might respond to knowing that information. From that perspective, I actually think he was 100% in the right, especially if both of them came to the conclusion that it was a one-and-done situation. Beyond all of that, if your girl/boyfriend shares a "secret" and you turn around when drunk and throw it back in their face, it's a sign that the other person isn't able/capable of fighting fair and should cause you to put the brakes on.

[Chicago Redshirt]

7 minutes ago, Rlb8031 said:

I thought I heard him say that he wanted to not be shared because of how her current/future significant other might respond to knowing that information. From that perspective, I actually think he was 100% in the right, especially if both of them came to the conclusion that it was a one-and-done situation. Beyond all of that, if your girl/boyfriend shares a "secret" and you turn around when drunk and throw it back in their face, it's a sign that the other person isn't able/capable of fighting fair and should cause you to put the brakes on.

Don't remember Jimmy saying that, but assuming he did, that strikes me as a weak reason to ask for confidentiality. 

If Jimmy's friend hasn't told her new partner/doesn't tell her new partners that she and Jimmy slept together, it's on Jimmy's friend especially if Jimmy is going to be as prominent a part of her life as he seems to be. It isn't something in general that needs to be hush-hushed that she's not a virgin or that she specifically slept with Jimmy.

Again, not condoning that Chelsea betrayed Jimmy's trust. She shouldn't have done that. 

[Bobcatkitten]

It doesn't matter what his reason for asking for confidentiality was. He asked for it. She agreed and then threw it at him on camera when she was drunk and being crazy. And then never sincerely apologized. 

 

I would have zero trust it wouldn't happen again. 

[katiepotatey]

18 hours ago, Empress1 said:

His whole comportment screams “not ready.” Even the way he approached her at the altar said it. “I mean, why does the timing matter” - sir, please read the room and approach the situation with some humility. You don’t get to get defensive here. The way he handled their talk afterward said it - don’t be hugging up on her when you broke her heart! If you want absolution, go to church. 

Omg, Clay asking AD for a hug (to comfort him?!) right after he hurt her so badly! That is all he sees women as, something to provide comfort and support to him while he gives nothing back. And then to keep kissing her when she obviously was not reciprocating and wanted her space... total creep! AD really dodged a bullet when he said no, and I hope she can one day see that. 

[SummerDreams]

3 hours ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

But in the long term, not a big deal that you had consensual sex with a guy once.

We as strangers don't care but maybe she does care that a guy she now dates or she will date or even marry in the future knows this secret of hers, given the fact that she and Jimmy continue to be best friends and talk and meet very often. She has the right to demand nobody knows her private matters even if it's a reality show, she was not a person who signed up for it and her privacy should have been protected also by the producers who could very well not air that part. She had the right that when she has a kid who will be familiar with Jimmy, that kid and their friends and the friends' parents don't know she once slept with Jimmy.

Yes it's 2024 and usually nobody cares that a woman slept with a man once or more times, still her privacy means something and it should have been kept private.

[nlkm9]

Chelsea is jelous of anything or anyone who get in between her and Jimmy. I dont blame him for nt wanting to be with this ridiculously and sadly insecure woman who is constantly seeking reassurance and has no problem with yelling at him constantly. It seemed like Jimmy really tried. 

Maybe jell get back with jessica lol. Chelsea needs to be happy with herself before she can be happy with anyone else. 

[Rlb8031]

3 hours ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

Don't remember Jimmy saying that, but assuming he did, that strikes me as a weak reason to ask for confidentiality. 

If Jimmy's friend hasn't told her new partner/doesn't tell her new partners that she and Jimmy slept together, it's on Jimmy's friend especially if Jimmy is going to be as prominent a part of her life as he seems to be. It isn't something in general that needs to be hush-hushed that she's not a virgin or that she specifically slept with Jimmy.

Again, not condoning that Chelsea betrayed Jimmy's trust. She shouldn't have done that. 

But Jimmy's friend came on tv specifically to support Jimmy and not to have her sex life discussed on national television. You are absolutely right that it should be entirely her choice as to whether to disclose that to her partner and people in her life, and now Chelsea has taken that right away. Since we don't know anything about this woman, I want to give credence to Jimmy's perspective and say it is a BFD.  We don't know anything about what that's woman's background is and maybe the knowledge that she has been intimate with Jimmy puts her in an awkward position with friends, family, her church, whomever. This is one time where we as a viewing audience simply don't know enough to judge whether or not it should be as big a deal as Jimmy says it is, but I don't think he's wrong for pointing out to Chelsea that what she did was entirely fucked up as it puts someone who is not Jimmy in the position of having to explain something that maybe she didn't want to.

[DearEvette]

2 hours ago, katiepotatey said:

Omg, Clay asking AD for a hug (to comfort him?!) right after he hurt her so badly! That is all he sees women as, something to provide comfort and support to him while he gives nothing back. And then to keep kissing her when she obviously was not reciprocating and wanted her space... total creep! AD really dodged a bullet when he said no, and I hope she can one day see that. 

The entire post wedding stuff from Clay was a testament of narcissism and damage control.

"Stop crying you're making me feel bad."

"Seeing you crying is hurting me."

"I've grown so much through this process"

"It is hard for me to look in the mirror and say that I am ready"

"Can I get a hug"

And of course,  he didn't want to seem "indifferent" and that was why he went to see her and dump on all his 'me' feelings on her in the first place. 

Meanwhile she is literally hoarse from crying.

No doubt he absolutely makes sense.  He should not be marrying someone.  But if , as he stated one of his reasons was "I could not see myself being married after two weeks of knowing someone" then you shouldn't have fucking proposed! 

Edited March 7 by DearEvette

[Cornhusker12]

20 hours ago, DearEvette said:

I don't understand how he could stand there and smile and mug and joke with her mom knowing he was going to say no.

Siiiigh I think Clay seems like a smart and earnest guy and a good person, but there are a lot of times when he has a very childlike naivete. I think he genuinely thought the day would go well, and his reasoning would make sense, and they would just happily move on to the post-show world together as a smiling success story couple.

The scenes with his dad were really illuminating. Clay has talked about how he thinks his dad's past has affected his own ability to be in a relationship, but seeing him light up and go into a little bit of awe around his dad made a lot of things click.

Again, he was a little bit like a kid, he hasn't quite come to grips with how much his dad/idol really did him and his family wrong. And you could see why! His dad really was "smooth" as Clay always said, but man, the way he was just speaking in platitudes and rattling off his own track accomplishments, it just bummed me out to see Clay lapping it all up. 

Anyway, people usually say this in a condescending way but I mean it sincerely - I hope Clay really does go to therapy! Haha I think his heart is in the right place, and there are some "issues" that stick out like a sore thumb that could probably change his life quite a bit. Maybe even go with his dad! I think there is a lot of love there, but also a lot of weirdness and past situations that need to be revisited and ironed out for both of them.

...Wait what show is this again?

[JenE4]

I’m going to need Netflix to give Mama Clay and Mama AD their own spin-off show in which they give people the tough talk, life lessons they need to hear. I really thought after that lunch with Mama AD, things started to click with Clay about how he can’t carry on this trauma that his dad burdened him with. Then when Mama Clay managed to very compassionately express to her ex that Clay needs an apology from him—while  subtly implying she just found out he brought that poor young boy cheating with him. I guess it was too little too late for Clay to just to start to work past his childhood issues. But when he was talking to his brother and friends, I was actually hopeful! They were really propping him up about how much he’s grown as a man—and Clay seemed pretty confident that he was ready to be the man that AD deserved. But then dad came in, and it was all over. All of that progress was out the window the second he painted the picture of little Clay literally chasing after dad on the track. The man must have just read a daily affirmations calendar or something and spewed out the whole month of July in a row. I really wonder whether the outcome would have been different if his dad didn’t come in to talk to him.

[call me ishmael]

I wonder if it would be possible for Clay and AD’s mothers to take over from the experts on Married at First Sight.  That show might have a chance then.

[Racj82]

16 hours ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

So the large part of my thinking it is ridiculous is the notion that Jimmy was all Sir Galahad protecting the honor of his fair former bedmate when a) it's not a dishonor and b) I suspect ulterior motives.

That's all fine but I dont see the need to look that deep into this. Is term deep dark secret was super extra but he trusted Chelsea with serious information, he put said friend in the spotlight and Chelsea betrayed that just. It doesn't matter what others think of it. Its also a window of things to come. Chelsea gets drunk and throws a bunch accusations and things that will hurt you back in your face. Its hard to trust someone like that. Something important for marriage.

I know personally I feel like shit for putting my friend in the situation and having to be blindsided about it later.

Now people are turning her into a storyline. Trying to guess which friend it was. Literally what's happening right now. He didn't want that for. It doesn't need to he anything bigger than that.

11 hours ago, Rlb8031 said:

But Jimmy's friend came on tv specifically to support Jimmy and not to have her sex life discussed on national television. You are absolutely right that it should be entirely her choice as to whether to disclose that to her partner and people in her life, and now Chelsea has taken that right away. Since we don't know anything about this woman, I want to give credence to Jimmy's perspective and say it is a BFD.  We don't know anything about what that's woman's background is and maybe the knowledge that she has been intimate with Jimmy puts her in an awkward position with friends, family, her church, whomever. This is one time where we as a viewing audience simply don't know enough to judge whether or not it should be as big a deal as Jimmy says it is, but I don't think he's wrong for pointing out to Chelsea that what she did was entirely fucked up as it puts someone who is not Jimmy in the position of having to explain something that maybe she didn't want to.

Thank you.

[Chicago Redshirt]

5 hours ago, Racj82 said:

That's all fine but I dont see the need to look that deep into this. Is term deep dark secret was super extra but he trusted Chelsea with serious information, he put said friend in the spotlight and Chelsea betrayed that just. It doesn't matter what others think of it. Its also a window of things to come. Chelsea gets drunk and throws a bunch accusations and things that will hurt you back in your face. Its hard to trust someone like that. Something important for marriage.

I know personally I feel like shit for putting my friend in the situation and having to be blindsided about it later.

Now people are turning her into a storyline. Trying to guess which friend it was. Literally what's happening right now. He didn't want that for. It doesn't need to he anything bigger than that.

100 percent agree that Chelsea was shitty to break the confidence, and that Jimmy would be right to take that as a dealbreaker (although I think that the deal was broken for him from the moment he saw she didn't look like Megan Fox.)

While not condoning Chelsea's action, I understand where it comes from. She knows that Jimmy slept with FWB. She knows that Jimmy texts and hangs out with FWB a lot. She knows Jimmy has googly eyes for Jess. She certainly has a lot of insecurity, but that's not helped by Jimmy's demeanor. Looking at Jimmy in the best possible light, he is someone who is at least somewhat disappointed with how Chelsea looks and is struggling to maintain the connection that they made in the pods. Alternatively, he's known for most of the real world time that he has no intention of marrying Chelsea and is playing out the string for air time or to not seem like a superficial jerk. I think that all this creates a feedback loop where even someone who is more secure than Chelsea would be questioning whether Jimmy is trustworthy.

I have some sympathy for the friend. But even if Chelsea had not said anything, the issue would likely still have come up. By appearing on the show, they agreed to a situation where strangers would be speculating on whether Barbara and/or Maddie had done it with Jimmy anyway. At the time of their appearance, people on Reddit and elsewhere were wondering if Barbara had slept with Jimmy based on body language and some of the questions and things she said. Now maybe that thought might not have been put in their minds if there hadn't been a preview of the "YOU FUCKED HER!" outburst. But I think even what, nearly 40 years after "When Harry Met Sally," there is still the widespread notion that women and men can't truly be friends without some level of sex getting in the way. 

I have some sympathy for the other friend. Assuming for discussion's sake that Barbara was the one who slept with Jimmy and Maddie didn't, people are still going to nose around in Maddie's business. But then I come back to that there's nothing wrong or embarrassing with either of them (or both of them) having slept with Jimmy and their consenting to being on LIB in the first place, so...

[Snapdragon]

1 hour ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

 

I have some sympathy for the other friend. Assuming for discussion's sake that Barbara was the one who slept with Jimmy and Maddie didn't, people are still going to nose around in Maddie's business. But then I come back to that there's nothing wrong or embarrassing with either of them (or both of them) having slept with Jimmy and their consenting to being on LIB in the first place, so...

I disagree.  I would find it endlessly embarrassing if I had slept with Jimmy. 

[Alexander Pope]

On 3/6/2024 at 3:50 PM, Empress1 said:

I would have done a bolder lip, a necklace (I can hear my mother saying “you need something around your neck!”) and that slit was really high. I love a slit (I‘m tallish and have long legs) but I’d be worried about showing too much with a slit that high, so I’d want it closed a couple of inches.

She did have a necklace---a very delicate one Clay gave her (?).  It didn't stand up to the dress.  Agree that the slit was a bit too high.

On another note, if I never have to hear Clay speak again, I will be a happy woman.  What a load of hot air and cliches come out of his mouth on a regular basis--he was clearly nervous and so upped the chatting, but with all those words he was saying NOTHING.  Just platitudes.  Then Dad arrived and I saw where this trait came from--how many empty words is it possible for one man to say?  all these meaningless affirmations when the real elephant in the room was his cheating made my head explode  That's another reason why Clay's mom confronting him with plain and direct and well-chosen words was so intimate and powerful.

 

[LakeGal]

I thought Clay's dad was talking more about himself than about his son in that convo before the wedding.  He is one self involved man.  

[ichbin]

I think AD needs to differentiate between looking fine and being fine. She mentioned Clay's looks too many times for it not to be a thing with her. She seems to even put a big emphasis upon looks regarding herself considering how she preened, postured, and commenced shimmying when her own looks were mentioned.  That ridiculously slitted gown!  It would benefit her to see beyond the physical. She's got more to offer than that and deserves better in return.

[Artsda]

I do wonder if Clay would have gone through with it had he not spoken to his father before hand. 

Amy and Johnny have been the most real and loved them getting married and building a life together.  When I saw them making Ikea furniture, I was sold on them as being able to make it. Lol 

On 3/7/2024 at 2:00 PM, Rlb8031 said:

But Jimmy's friend came on tv specifically to support Jimmy and not to have her sex life discussed on national television. You are absolutely right that it should be entirely her choice as to whether to disclose that to her partner and people in her life

I agree and it sounded like it was spoken to in confidence between 2 people engaged with the promise it would stay out of the recording cameras.  Then she went and made a huge production of it on camera.  

 

[topanga]

On 3/11/2024 at 7:32 PM, ichbin said:

I think AD needs to differentiate between looking fine and being fine. She mentioned Clay's looks too many times for it not to be a thing with her. She seems to even put a big emphasis upon looks regarding herself considering how she preened, postured, and commenced shimmying when her own looks were mentioned.  That ridiculously slitted gown!  It would benefit her to see beyond the physical. She's got more to offer than that and deserves better in return.

 

On 3/11/2024 at 8:36 PM, Artsda said:

I do wonder if Clay would have gone through with it had he not spoken to his father before hand. 

I think Clay had doubts all along. He mentioned to A.D. several times that he wasn't sure he was ready for marriage. That meant he wasn't ready. And he said "I could see myself being married to AD," not "I love her and can't wait to marry her," or "I'm scared, but I really want to be with her forever."

And I think AD kept bringing up Clay's looks as a way to convince the public -- and maybe herself-- that he was still a catch. Despite his emotional immaturity and concerns about cheating on her. 

[Lindz]

HAAAAAAA!!! Wow! Jim said he didn't wanna go through with the wedding! Good on him! I thought that's all that he was doing, but he also ended things? Oh well. That's perfectly fine. The finger pointing certainly seemed relationship ending. They should've been over after that dramatic argument over him going out. So he slept with one of those friends she met??? Bet it's the busty one! And they've played that clip a few times so it's really out there! She did cross the line by screaming that secret. He was probably done at that moment. Clay should've had that decency to tell AD he didn't want to go through with the wedding. WTF did he think would happen?!! She said either they get married then or it's over. She should've listened to his subtle warnings. He asked why they had to marry on that day. If someone says they have things they need to work on, leave them alone because they're not going to be ready for anything until they are. He was right to say no because he didn't feel ready. He should've DIRECTLY told her that when he knew instead of embarrassing her at the altar.

[Lindz]

They always try to make the sure yes couple seem like it doesn't go that way, huh? NOBODY'S FOOLED!!! Amy's father was going on & on, like okay. We get it. Enough already. He took wayyyyyyy too long talking. John's hair is still so bad, I can't! 😅 I love that he's scared of an unplanned pregnancy. If he's actually trying to prevent one, even better. Everyone should have that thought since it is the serious risk taken. 🤷‍♀️

[SoMuchTV]

On 3/6/2024 at 8:56 AM, NeenerNeener said:

Yeah, pretty much ended the way I thought it should. I wonder if there were other couples in this iteration that we didn't see, and how many of them actually got married. I know that's happened in previous seasons. 

Sometimes I wonder, would it be worse to go on this show and have everyone in Netflix-land see all my dirty laundry, or to go on this show and then find out that I ended up on the cutting room floor. 
 

And every season, I say, no more! But then I get sucked in to another season. Good thing, though, so I can keep up with the cool kids’ vocab. First it was “giving xyz vibes” then “giving xyz” then just “giving”. What’s next!?!!

Oh and I just noticed—for the one couple that actually did get through the ceremony, the officiant pronounced them “man and wife”. Does anyone actually use that phrase anymore?  Apparently yes?

Edited April 7 by SoMuchTV