S19.E14: Shadow of Your Love; S19.E15: Mama Who Bore Me

[Bort]

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It’s Maggie’s last day. Amelia’s relationship with Kai is tested, and Ben worries as Bailey’s doxing intensifies.

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With Levi’s help, a patient celebrates a milestone. Jo processes a difficult diagnosis, and Maggie and Winston decide their future.

Airdate: April 13, 2023

[shantown]

Between Owen giving advice about love and Schmidt giving advice about being a good doctor my eyes were gonna roll right out of my head.

Also Kai was maybe in a tough spot with needing to share their job news while also offering comfort to Amelia while she was spiraling. But waiting an entire day and romantic evening before telling Amelia they took a job in London was kinda harsh. They weren't wrong about being in different places in life, but that doesn't make a breakup any easier. (I've been in Kai's position before and it's not an easy or fun decision to make)

Glad Winston is staying. I thought Maggie's two moms in the elevator at the end was a nice touch.

Wish Nick had been in the episodes. I was looking forward to him doing more teaching with this group of interns. Is he even in charge of the program still?

[txhorns79]

1 hour ago, shantown said:

I thought Maggie's two moms in the elevator at the end was a nice touch.

I liked that too.

And did they explain what was stopping the two friends from calling ahead to just schedule an appointment with Maggie, instead of having them just show up with the one using the PA system to scream for her attention like a crazy person?  

And honestly Bailey, if you are scared for your children and their safety, dumping responsibility for Prue on an intern seems kind of ridiculous.   

[MarylandGirl]

What is with all the people accepting jobs in other cities without talking to their partner first? Meredith, Maggie, now Kai. Granted, Kai was already in a different city, but London is much further away. If my husband ever did that, pretty sure the marriage would be over, even if he asked me to come along.

I'm glad Kai didn't decide to stay. I'm not generally a fan of their character, but they were right that Amelia was making it all about her. At the same time, they should have told Amelia about it first--ideally before accepting it, but certainly before spending a loving, romantic night with her. I hope Amelia will be OK, having now lost Meredith, Maggie, AND Kai within a few months. Well, Meredith and Maggie are still in her life, just further away, but I assume this was a breakup with Kai.

Also, I'm glad Winston is standing up for himself and chose to stay. I was afraid that procedure on the heart patient would lead to her dying, he'd lose his confidence, and decide to go to Chicago.

I actually kinda liked Schmidt in this episode? Maybe peds would be a good fit for him.

[iMonrey]

Who else FF'd thru all the Kai and Amelia scenes? Hands?

[Infie]

Re: taking a job without telling your partner

I think Meredith, Maggie, and Kai are all very different situations. 

Maggie's married.  Her doing it was just completely outrageous.  A marriage isn't something you ignore for your job.

Meredith doing it was rude and dismissive of her relationship with Nick.  While they aren't married or engaged, he had demonstrated his commitment to her by moving his life to Seattle when she asked him to.  He deserved to be treated with respect, and their relationship did too. 

Kai, though, was in a long distance relationship with someone who they are not engaged or married to.  The extent of their commitment was that they're exclusive while they otherwise live separate lives.  I think it was insensitive to not disuss, but I don't think it was the offense that the other two were. 

On the Maggie topic - I am so annoyed that the writers somehow decided that this whole storyline with Maggie and Winston was actually about Maggie's empowerment as a woman.  Essentially, she loves her job more than her husband, which is OK, you do you, but then she told him that HE had to love his job more than her or she couldn't respect him.  More than that, when he said that he needed to switch so that he wasn't working under her because he felt the need to grow as himself, and that he wanted to be able to maintain the marriage while he did so, she completely lost it and told him that he would be wasting himself by not saving lives the way that SHE wants to save lives.  

So, I am all for female empowerment, and I am all for couples working together to have them both thrive, but I am not a fan of stories where it's so blatantly hypocritical as here.  Maggie isn't empowered in this; she is a bully who flatly refuses to see any side of the issue other than her own narrow point of view, and who is judgemental in the extreme to anyone who doesn't completely align with that view.    Just ... UGH.  I am glad that the character is gone. 

[Lady Calypso]

I completely didn't realize it was a two hour episode, so I was surprised when I decided to check the guide halfway through the episode to see it being two hours. 

It was a fine two parter. We've seen worse two parters, and I liked the cases that it had. 

Per the Kai/Amelia stuff, that relationship ending was always on the back of my mind the moment Kai told Amelia they don't want kids. That is a huge dealbreaker and it definitely felt like it was always a matter of time before they ended things. Now, the way Kai went about this was wrong; as Amelia's romantic partner, they should have informed Amelia about the job offer, if not only out of respect. Except they didn't, they accepted without talking to their partner and that just adds to why this relationship won't work out. Not that Kai needed to ask permission, but it shows that Kai may not be as serious about the relationship as Amelia is. 

And with what Kai said about splitting time, it's clear there's some issues with that and shows how Kai knew their heart wasn't fully with Amelia, and not for a while. If they loved Amelia, they would have been honest before accepting the job offer. I don't think Kai was necessarily wrong about Amelia being needy, either, but Kai was fully wrong in how they handled this. Amelia/Kai are pretty much done; no way they can come back from what Kai told Amelia.

Maggie had a decent sendoff, even if she has been cruel to Winston all season. If Maggie wants to prioritize her job and run away from her marriage, she can do that, but the way she's gone about this is entirely disrespectful to Winston. It's telling when he made that passive aggressive quip in the OR about being alone and happy. I know the writing for Maggie has often reflected quite badly on her (remember the Jackson disaster for two seasons?), but I do think they wrote her exit arc wrong. Maggie was never cold; if anything, she's been overly emotional and reactive (remember when she punched that patient's mother a few seasons back?). Maggie has never been like Ellis so it's weird they're making it seem like she has been just because she loves her job. There were other flaws of Maggie to touch on; her being cold seems like the complete opposite.

Ah, so we're getting more obstacles for Jo/Link. At least they're going to explore a child with a disability storyline with Luna. As a Hard of Hearing adult, I'm very intrigued but also very nervous with how they handle this. And at least this obstacle is better than another love triangle storyline they could have done. 

Schmitt FINALLY chooses a path after five and a half seasons. I did say for a while that Schmitt would excel in some sort of family doctor-type situation, so I guess peds is the closest thing to that. But he needs to stop being snippy at people.

How has none of the other interns commented on Mika working two jobs and not raised concerns at all? Do they think it's normal? Mika's getting burned out already, and it's only going to get worse. Blue stealing Mika's surgery was no surprise.

I am becoming more and more of a fan of Jules. They've really shown her care with patients and I like that she went to Winston to ask him to mentor her. It feels like the good old days when interns weren't treated as jokes and I love that they're slowly starting to show the interns figure out what specialty they want to go into. 

Nice surprise end shot of both of Maggie's mothers at the end.

[ams1001]

51 minutes ago, Lady Calypso said:

How has none of the other interns commented on Mika working two jobs and not raised concerns at all? Do they think it's normal? Mika's getting burned out already, and it's only going to get worse. Blue stealing Mika's surgery was no surprise.

I was wondering how long it’ll be before she makes a huge mistake and kills ( or nearly so) a patient because she’s too tired to work safely. Also as soon as she said she was taking a nap I said “she’s not making it to that surgery.” I actually thought she’d sleep through it completely and wake up hours later. 

[Snow Fairy]

Maggie got a way better send off than Meredith. Yes I know Mer will show up again, but still.

 

I hate the will they won't they between Link and Jo. And I want them together, but hate the plot that always tries to separate them.

[Quark]

Very happy Maggie is gone.

Owen next please.

[Shellie]

It's weird but somehow I thought Link and Jo were already together as a couple. Am I not paying enough attention?

[CarpeFelis]

What the heck was up with the best friend/bandmate of the woman with the cardiac tumor? Presumably she’s accompanied her to hospitals on multiple occasions and seen one crisis after another. Yet when her friend crashes she blithers about “this machine went off” rather than saying something like “she’s crashing” and later needs an explanation of what cardiac tamponade is—a condition they’ve undoubtedly run into before. Really? Either she’s incredibly stupid or the writers are.

So Maggie makes an incision to access the right jugular and then hands the scalpel to Winston to get the left? Is this hospital so broke they can only have one scalpel between them?!

These dumbass interns don’t know how to reject a call instead of silencing the phone or throwing it in the trash?

Amelia is back to annoying the crap out of me. Her last little guilt trip to Kai about “people abandoning me” was low. She seens to have done enough work on herself to be aware of the issue so why isn’t she doing something about it?

 

 

 

[Madding crowd]

Maggie was always a warm and caring person until this latest dust up with Winston. Obviously it is never a good idea to work with your spouse when one of you is the boss of the other; it just doesn't work. I would never agree that Maggie is anything like Ellis. Meredith yes, Maggie no. So I must be in a crabby mood because many people annoyed me tonight. I'm one of the few Owen Hunt fans but I do not like Teddy. She always seems neurotic, fragile and unhappy. I cannot imagine her ever having a good time. I don't usually mind Jo but lately she has been looking tired, sad and strange. What was with the huge, lumpy sweater she wore at the appointment for Luna? I don't really get how some of these doctors can work full time plus with kids. This hospital seems to have 24/7 daycare. Is that the norm for hospitals? My husband works for a huge hospital in Chicago and they don't have one at all. 

I like most of the interns except for Mika. She seems snobby, acts superior to everyone and we are supposed to be charmed by her cluelessness about things like mis-matched shoes. She also has snide remarks to say about everyone. I do like it that Amelia is the same person she always was; she is emotional and wears her heart on her sleeve. Some people are like that and I like that about her. Kai still seems wooden and cannot act. I don't see a love story between them and Amelia. Is Scott Speedman's character gone now that Meredith is gone? I didn't really miss her but it is odd hearing her voice overs when she is not in the episode. 

[chitowngirl]

1 hour ago, Madding crowd said:

I don't usually mind Jo but lately she has been looking tired, sad and strange. What was with the huge, lumpy sweater she wore at the appointment for Luna?

I’ve been noticing that all season and was wondering if Camilla was expecting again. Scrubs really are the best way to conceal a pregnancy. 

[marceline]

I'm calling it now. Yasuda will be the first of this class to die. She's giving me Heather Brooks vibes.

[transitfan]

20 hours ago, CarpeFelis said:

These dumbass interns don’t know how to reject a call instead of silencing the phone or throwing it in the trash?

 

 

 

 

Really.  Each time you saw the iPhone screen with the red (reject) and green (answer) buttons.  All they had to do is push the red button and done (I think it sends the call to voice mail when you do that, so it'spossible that the anti-abortion assholes might leave vile messages, then again they probably might not have the balls to do so).  Actually, with my iPhone (13), occasionally I get the red/green buttons on a call, but usually it's the swipe to answer thingie.  The latter is annoying when it is a spam call, because you don't want to answer those, even if if you immediately hang up, because then the spammer lowlifes know it is an active number.  Better to let it go, the lowlifes don't want to leave a voice mail because that doesn't help them, so they know enough to hang up before the voice mail kicks in, and more than likely, they move on to the next number on their list.  Of course, I promptly block them 👹

Edited April 15, 2023 by transitfan
left out word

[Avabelle]

Maggie going from warm to cold didn’t really shock me. I never felt they got as a couple and could buy her going off him. Her reasons are crappy and were she with someone she loved I don’t think they’d be there. I think he just isn’t her person and that’s why she acted how she did. I’ve never picked up a semblance of chemistry with them and Winston as a character is such a non entity that her not being into him anymore is believable to me. 
 

Are Amelia and Kai really popular with LGBTQ fanbases? I don’t get why they’ve dragged this out to such an extent. They’ve barely had scenes together this season so I don’t get why they couldn’t just leave them broken up last season. I don’t know if it was worth splitting Linc and Amelia for so not sure what they were hoping to achieve. Who are they going to put Amelia with now? Back to Linc?

Edited April 15, 2023 by Avabelle

[30 Helens]

On 4/14/2023 at 3:00 PM, Madding crowd said:

Obviously it is never a good idea to work with your spouse when one of you is the boss of the other; it just doesn't work.

I met my husband when I was the boss of him. It was good practice for him.

On 4/14/2023 at 12:17 PM, Lady Calypso said:

How has none of the other interns commented on Mika working two jobs and not raised concerns at all?

I guess I missed the part where she’s working two jobs. I just figured she was overworked at her one job. Because don’t interns get worked about 18 hours a day? How does she have time to take a second job?

I really like Maggie at first, but she has been written as completely sour and humorless for the last year or two. So I won’t miss her. I guess Teddi has to shoulder the sourpuss mantle all alone now. Although Amelia may be stepping in to help. What is it with the writing for women on this show? 

[ams1001]

59 minutes ago, 30 Helens said:

I guess I missed the part where she’s working two jobs. I just figured she was overworked at her one job. Because don’t interns get worked about 18 hours a day? How does she have time to take a second job?

She got Helm to help her get hired at the bar. She mentioned working a shift there the night before. 

I feel like Helm of all people should know better than to encourage her to do that.

Edited April 16, 2023 by ams1001

[KaveDweller]

26 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

She got Helm to help her get hired at the bar. She mentioned working a shift there the night before. 

I feel like Helm of all people should know better than to encourage her to do that.

I don't get how Yasuda's money problems are so much worse than anyone else's. I get that she has a lot of student debt, but don't all of them? And she is living rent free right now, so that should have helped. I think last week she mentioned sending her parents money, but why would her parents let her do that knowing she was living in a van?

How old is Luna supposed to be? Jo adopted her two seasons ago, and the end of that season included a time jump of almost a year, right? But it's like she's a perpetual baby.

[SilverLake0315]

On 4/15/2023 at 12:04 PM, transitfan said:

Actually, with my iPhone (13), occasionally I get the red/green buttons on a call, but usually it's the swipe to answer thingie.

Press the button on the right side of the phone once to silence, twice to send to voicemail, if you don’t get the red/green options. 

Peace out, Maggie. Won’t miss ya. You either, Kai. I’m sure you’re a nice person, but maybe acting isn’t the right path. 

[transitfan]

13 hours ago, SilverLake0315 said:

Press the button on the right side of the phone once to silence, twice to send to voicemail, if you don’t get the red/green options. 

 

Thanks for the tip!

[statsgirl]

Assistants re no longer allowed to pick up dry cleaning or run personal errands. Why does Bailey think that she can get a surgical resident to babysit her personal phone?  Or keep another one from doing medical stuff so he can babysit her child all day?  Paging HR, and the medical board.

I'm supposed to sympathize with Jo being upset that Luna is losing her hearing but it's something that happens to a lot of kids. (Also many mothers teach their babies sign language so they can communicate before they have verbal language.) Is she so helpless so that Linc can save her? 

Why is there not one relationship on the show that I want to root for? Some soap opera.

Why is Maggie supervising an oncology biopsy? Does Grey Sloan not have any oncologists on staff?

I loved Catherine's outfit. Did not love all the praise to Maggie at what a warm and loving person she is.

On 4/15/2023 at 12:38 PM, Avabelle said:

Are Amelia and Kai really popular with LGBTQ fanbases? I don’t get why they’ve dragged this out to such an extent. They’ve barely had scenes together this season so I don’t get why they couldn’t just leave them broken up last season. I don’t know if it was worth splitting Linc and Amelia for so not sure what they were hoping to achieve. Who are they going to put Amelia with now? Back to Linc?

My sense is that breaking up Amelia and Linc was to put Linc with Jo, and the relationship with Kai, which was 90% offscreen, was so that BA could show how cool and trendy they are. Even Owen's speech to the patient about how he knew that his relationship to his best friend was the one (not what we saw on screen since Amelia had to push Owen to go after Teddy) was done in order to push LInc to go after Jo.

With Meredith, Maggie and now Kai leaving, it's become misery porn for Amelia. First she sees her father murdered in front of her as a child. Her three sisters are witches to her and her mother makes Ellis Grey look warm and loving, all of which cause huge emotional issues around abandonment.. She has a drug addiction and an addicted boyfriend who dies in front of her.  She is pregnant, the fetus is anencephalic and she carries it to term so that she can donate the organs because it will die within a day or two.  Her only sibling who loves her is killed in an accident and Meredith doesn't even tell her in time to say goodbye to him. Her marriage to Owen is a mess. She finally has a baby and a good relationship with Linc which gets ends for plot reasons. Now first Meredith, then Maggie and now Kai are leaving her. The only person she has left to count on is Richard. Will Amelia start using drugs again???

Enough already. This isn't entertaining.

[RoxiP]

I actually have a setting on my iPhone that sends all numbers that are not in my contact list straight to voice mail.  If somebody wants to talk to me they can leave a voicemail and I will call them back.

[KaveDweller]

3 hours ago, statsgirl said:

With Meredith, Maggie and now Kai leaving, it's become misery porn for Amelia. First she sees her father murdered in front of her as a child. Her three sisters are witches to her and her mother makes Ellis Grey look warm and loving, all of which cause huge emotional issues around abandonment.. She has a drug addiction and an addicted boyfriend who dies in front of her.  She is pregnant, the fetus is anencephalic and she carries it to term so that she can donate the organs because it will die within a day or two.  Her only sibling who loves her is killed in an accident and Meredith doesn't even tell her in time to say goodbye to him. Her marriage to Owen is a mess. She finally has a baby and a good relationship with Linc which gets ends for plot reasons. Now first Meredith, then Maggie and now Kai are leaving her. The only person she has left to count on is Richard. Will Amelia start using drugs again???

Enough already. This isn't entertaining.

I hope they don't have Amelia relapse. Her addiction storyline on Private Practice was the only time I really hated her.

But I thought it too, since they are making her pretty miserable. At least she has her kid. Maybe they'll give her a new love interest? Or she can mentor her nephew.

[ams1001]

3 hours ago, statsgirl said:

Assistants re no longer allowed to pick up dry cleaning or run personal errands. Why does Bailey think that she can get a surgical resident to babysit her personal phone?  Or keep another one from doing medical stuff so he can babysit her child all day?  Paging HR, and the medical board.

Or she could put it on Do Not Disturb and set certain contacts (like her family and the hospital) as exceptions...

3 hours ago, statsgirl said:

Why is Maggie supervising an oncology biopsy? Does Grey Sloan not have any oncologists on staff?

When I had a biopsy it was done by a radiologist (in their office; not in the hospital).

 

[Verovee]

I had the same thought about Maggie consulting on the breast exam. She’s a highly sought after cardiologist, why is intern going to her for this?? Then everything they did in a matter of maybe a few hours. When I had a breast biopsy it was after my gynecologist referred me to a breast oncologist to review my mammogram results. Took a few weeks to get the appt where she reviewed my mammogram, did her own exam and I think sent me for new scans (sonogram maybe?). Then scheduled the biopsy, which I think I had done at a hospital. Then had to wait several days, at least, for the results. Later had a surgery to remove the benign mass. I know I know it’s tv but I’ve gotten increasingly annoyed with medical shows as I have more interactions with drs and surgeons myself.  I had back surgery recently and the surgeon didn’t come see me after my surgery, much less interact w my family or give me life advice. 

Edited April 17, 2023 by Verovee

[ams1001]

11 minutes ago, Verovee said:

Then everything they did in a matter of maybe a few hours. When I had a breast biopsy it was after my gynecologist referred me to a breast oncologist to review my mammogram results. Took a few weeks to get the appt where she reviewed my mammogram, did her own exam and I think sent me for new scans (sonogram maybe?). Then scheduled the biopsy, which I think I had done at a hospital. Then had to wait several days, at least, for the results. 

I had a routine mammogram which didn't show anything off but my doctor ordered an ultrasound because of dense tissue; that didn't happen until a couple weeks later. The radiologist looked at that while I waited and recommended a biopsy, which was scheduled for about three weeks later (could have been sooner but I couldn't take off work the day they had an opening), then waited about 5 days for the results (but that included a weekend), which I got from my doctor's office. Turned out to be a ruptured cyst so no surgery or anything, but I still had to see a specialist who did his own ultrasound. So it was almost two months from start to finish of all that (but I have to get rescanned at six months just to be safe). I can see moving a little quicker because of her specific symptoms but all in one day? Unlikely. And there still wouldn't be a cardiologist involved (just because it was her last day and she had nothing better to do?). Also doubt a surgical resident would be the one to tell her the results. She'd be referred to a relevant specialist.

[Lady Calypso]

14 hours ago, KaveDweller said:

But I thought it too, since they are making her pretty miserable. At least she has her kid. Maybe they'll give her a new love interest? Or she can mentor her nephew.

No to a new love interest. She hasn't been single in a very long time so I think, should she return for all of season 20, she should remain single that entire time.

But if she mentored Lucas, that would be such a great plot for her. It looks like Lucas needs some guidance. He has great instincts but has shown that he hasn't applied them quite yet. He still seems kind of lost compared to the rest of the interns, so Amelia spending time getting Lucas focused would be a great plot for her AND him. 

[DrBriCa]

I don't see how Schmidt is still just a fourth year resident, unless he really did stay away from the hospital for several months after his "Weber method" debacle and therefore is completely off-schedule in his training. I hate when the GA writers do large time jumps (like when Meredith had Ellis and the end of the covid season) and forget to apply that time to the residents' training years.

 

On 4/14/2023 at 11:16 AM, Snow Fairy said:

Maggie got a way better send off than Meredith. Yes I know Mer will show up again, but still.

I agree 100%. Meredith's felt so anticlimactic in comparison. There is some irony when you consider that Mer's goodbye cake was switched with a Bar Mitzvah cake, and then Maggie's final goodbyes occur during a Bar Mitzvah!

17 hours ago, Lady Calypso said:

But if she mentored Lucas, that would be such a great plot for her. It looks like Lucas needs some guidance. He has great instincts but has shown that he hasn't applied them quite yet. He still seems kind of lost compared to the rest of the interns, so Amelia spending time getting Lucas focused would be a great plot for her AND him. 

I third this! After the dumb plot of the other interns thinking Amelia was his paramour rather than his aunt that went on for far too long in the first chunk of the season, it'd be nice to see the two characters have more bonding time. Especially now that Amelia feels so disconnected from her "sisters."

[RoxiP]

Perhaps Amelia will move back into the dorm (oops, Meredith's mom's house) and become a mentor to all of the interns.  That way she will feel connected and superior at the same time.

[Shellie]

On 4/17/2023 at 2:27 PM, statsgirl said:

With Meredith, Maggie and now Kai leaving, it's become misery porn for Amelia. First she sees her father murdered in front of her as a child. Her three sisters are witches to her and her mother makes Ellis Grey look warm and loving, all of which cause huge emotional issues around abandonment.. She has a drug addiction and an addicted boyfriend who dies in front of her.  She is pregnant, the fetus is anencephalic and she carries it to term so that she can donate the organs because it will die within a day or two.  Her only sibling who loves her is killed in an accident and Meredith doesn't even tell her in time to say goodbye to him. Her marriage to Owen is a mess. She finally has a baby and a good relationship with Linc which gets ends for plot reasons. Now first Meredith, then Maggie and now Kai are leaving her. The only person she has left to count on is Richard. Will Amelia start using drugs again???

Enough already. This isn't entertaining.

After reading this through twice, I remembered that Amelia also developed a tumor and needed brain surgery.

[toomuchtv]

When Amelia was in bed with Kai and link was filling the apartment with flowers for Jo, who was watching Scout? 

[statsgirl]

28 minutes ago, toomuchtv said:

who was watching Scout? 

It was Linc's time with him. Kai told Amelia that the reason that they could work in a relationship is because they were only together when Scout was with Linc.

[LisaM]

Late to the party but binge watching all of Season 19 now. I thought that Maggie's departure was well done - particularly the elevator scene with her two mothers. 

Really like the idea of Schmidt going into pediatrics. Teared up at the actual Bar Mitzvah. 

Hope that Amelia does not fall off of the wagon. I never saw the chemistry between Kai and Amelia - perhaps because I don't feel anything from the actress playing Kai - so I am not sorry to see them break up. Between Amelia's sisters leaving and the breakup, she is primed for a fall.