S03.E10: Approaching The Altar

[Door County Cherry]

Quote

The ladies hit the strip club for their bachelorette party, while the guys get their hands dirty at the rodeo.  The wedding day arrives for two couples. 

[Cramps]

Oh SK and editors, how could you do this? 

[Zuleikha]

Poor Raven! My heart broke for her. SK's mom looked so sad, too. It was the sweetest when she mouthed "I do." 

I'm going to be anxiously waiting for the reunion special to see if SK and Raven continued dating. It definitely felt like SK meant "not yet" rather than "not ever," but that's a hard thing to put someone through.

I don't know what to expect for Bartise and Nancy. I thought they were done, but this episode sold me that he may say an excited "I do." I'm not sure if that's good or not. 

[Irlandesa]

Very much poor Raven. I loved the moments between SK's mom and Raven.

I think Bartise is going to say no.  He was pretty devastated by her gift.  That made me think it was a guilt reaction.  And all he sent her was a shot with "let's do the damn thing?" Is he a Bachelor watcher?

[Zima]

Why tf did SK sign up for this show, knowing full well that he was moving in 2 months? Seems like he just wanted to portray a well-liked character for social media clout.  Poor Raven. She became my favorite by the end of this thing.

Nancy! You idiot! 

[oldCJ]

It’s funny people thinking “poor Raven,” since she wasn’t attracted to SK. AT ALL. Both Raven and SK went on the show for clout, not love. Imo Raven fell in love with SK’s mom. She says isn’t close to her family, and his mom welcomed her with open arms. Finding a mother-in-law that treats you like her own daughter is the dream. She was getting a family and community, the husband who would be living thousands of miles away was irrelevant.

Cole… ugh. How delusional and gaslighting to think Zanab has a mental illness rather than the reality that you are a super annoying partner that she is struggling to be nice to. The shot of sad Cole on the couch with his fries on the table… 💀

Someone save Nancy from herself, pls. To want to marry a man who disrespects you that much?! I hope Barftiste runs into her brothers in an alley one night. 

[SoapDoc]

3 hours ago, Zima said:

Why tf did SK sign up for this show, knowing full well that he was moving in 2 months? 

This.

There are not many women who would marry someone in a month. An even smaller number of those would quit their jobs, uproot their lives, and move across country after one month to live with someone who is going to grad school without a job. It's a huge leap of faith that could end up in a horror show--even worse than a quicky wedding. One month isn't enough time for that kind of trust...

Hopefully the show will keep this particular scenario in mind when selecting contestants. I know they want the drama but this wasn't even good drama. It was just sad.

I do believe that Raven loves him. She loves the idea of having a family too but it seems like they vibed really well. I expect it may not be over yet.

[jabRI]

Bartise is totally going to say no, he's an idiot.  What do you think about the previews for Brennan next week?

[NeenerNeener]

I was kind of hoping for a gender-swapped Bob Hearts Abishola with SK and Raven, but I really didn't think it would work. I expected Raven to be the one to bail, though, after his family gave her the skinny on what is expected of the wife of a Nigerian man. When SK said no at the alter I was just as shocked as his mother.

Edited November 3, 2022 by NeenerNeener

[Starlight925]

I don't believe Raven did this for marriage for one. second.

I believe she did this to boost her IG, build a bigger base.

SK may have hoped to find a sweet girl who was willing to move with him.

I do believe that Raven fell in love with SK's mom, which was an unexpected accident for her.  I adore SK's mom, and I do hope he finds his sweet girl who can give her grandchildren one day.

Zanab annoyed the sh*t out of me, directing Cole like that, while he was trying to make dinner.  Then Cole took it one step further, by asking if she was Bipolar.  They are a combined mess.  Ain't no way this one works out for the long term.

[jabRI]

59 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

 They are a combined mess.  Ain't no way this one works out for the long term

Yeah, at this point I don't even get the vibe that they even like each other, just playing to the camera.  Both are acting totally phony.

[Zuleikha]

That was Cole's question to Zanab, whether she even liked him. I thought it was mature and aware. 

I don't think Zanab was intentionally manipulative, but it was interesting that she managed to flip the conversation so that she was the victim even before Cole snapped at her about being bipolar. She didn't seem to feel much remorse that Cole isn't even sure that she likes him. 

I think they're fundamentally incompatible and definitely need to break up rather than get married. But I think Cole's chances of finding someone who loves and appreciates his playfulness are higher than Zanab's chances of finding someone who loves and appreciates her constant irritation.

[EdnasEdibles]

Cole and Zanab very much have a Jon & Kate vibe. And honestly it reminds me a little bit of the dynamic with my ex-husband. I wasn't as nit-picky as Zanab about it and it came much later but there's absolutely this relationship vibe that I see quite often where the guy is kind of immature and careless and they don't have the sense to clean their toilet (or even flush it) before leaving on a multi-week trip. Then there's a woman who's kind of take charge and is a planner and I think on some level they think "great! She can take care of me!" only then it devolves into a weird control freak vibe and the guy slowly becomes more and more of a child until you're Jon & Kate (plus 8).

In reality, Cole needs to grow up a little bit in order to be a true adult partner to someone. And Zanab needs to stop controlling literally every aspect of her boyfriend's behavior and be smart enough to say "This ain't working for me" rather than thinking she can nag him into being what she wants.

They truly bring out the absolute worst in each other. Every once in a while I see glimmers of what makes them cool but they truly just bring out the absolute worst qualities in each other and absolutely should not be getting married to each other. 

Matt continues to scare me. He has a scary vibe. 

[jabRI]

17 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

Very much poor Raven. I loved the moments between SK's mom and Raven.

I think Bartise is going to say no.  He was pretty devastated by her gift.  That made me think it was a guilt reaction.

I was really annoyed with Bartise at the (bachelor party?) saying he was conflicted because his family was against Nancy, but his sister came right out and said they supported him.  And bringing up her ex'es involvement in her real estate business, I never heard anything about the ex since that time they saw the rental house, its not like he's all in their business.  He's looking for excuses so he can go find someone that looks like Raven and will break his heart in 6 months.

[kimbrchick]

It kind of bothered me that all the focus is on Raven adopting some Nigerian culture but SK wouldn't participate in the rodeo activity. Not a big deal but it made me think.

I felt bad for Raven but I think she should have known that this marriage isn't the right thing. She wanted to stay in Texas while he was in CA and have him pay half her rent. I do think her family situation might be driving her to want to get married because maybe she's lacking that closeness and warmth of family.

Cole and Zanab are just not compatible. He's goofy and immature and she doesn't seem to like that. She then kind of backtracks and acts like it wasn't a big deal but in the moment, he feels the annoyance she has for him. He has to ask, do you even like me?

I was hoping Nancy would say I don't. I think Bartise will say I do.

[Ms Blue Jay]

In a million years I will never ever believe that Raven was going to go through with it.  SK and Raven had this planned.

8 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

I don't believe Raven did this for marriage for one. second.

Thank you!

Notice in Zanaib and Cole's arguments, Zanaib never took accountability for anything.  She had a snap back defense for every thing she did.  It was immediate and without thought.  She does not want to grow, improve, change for anyone, no way.  Never.  She told him take it or leave it.  I'm the best catch on the planet, etc. etc.

Edited November 3, 2022 by Ms Blue Jay

[LuvMyShows]

I was surprised that SK said no.  If they didn't plan this together, then I truly believe she was blindsided.  

Wish Nancy had said no.  Scared Bartise will say yes.

[Irlandesa]

2 hours ago, kimbrchick said:

It kind of bothered me that all the focus is on Raven adopting some Nigerian culture but SK wouldn't participate in the rodeo activity. Not a big deal but it made me think.

I think trying food and incorporating something of Nigeria into her wedding is different than running after an animal for "fun."  Plus, based on how she reacted to the strip club, I doubt she'd consider the rodeo activities as part of her "culture" that she'd want him to try.

[noluvnoluck]

I'm thinking more and more that Cole and Colleen would've been the perfect match. 

[Jack Sampson]

7 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

In a million years I will never ever believe that Raven was going to go through with it.  SK and Raven had this planned.

Thank you!

Notice in Zanaib and Cole's arguments, Zanaib never took accountability for anything.  She had a snap back defense for every thing she did.  It was immediate and without thought.  She does not want to grow, improve, change for anyone, no way.  Never.  She told him take it or leave it.  I'm the best catch on the planet, etc. etc.

That was a wildly arrogant thing to say.  I would have said, "Clearly the men in your life didn't agree."

[LakeGal]

Bartise is going to say NO.  I think he was crying because reality hit him.  He realized that Nancy really does love him and expects to get married.  He knows he does not want to marry her.  He is going to be the big bad guy that breaks her heart when he has to say he does not want to marry her.  I think Nancy's mom and brother know exactly what is going to happen.  They dislike Bartise because they know he is going to break Nancy's heart.  They both had tears in their eyes and were looking at Bartise like they wanted to slap him.  

Bartise is too worried about looks.  He made comments about how his friends reacted when he posted photos of Nancy when he got his cell phone back.  The reaction his friends had about Nancy not being the type of female that Bartise usually dated.  This really bothered Bartise.  I can't say any of his friends were great looking.  Bartise is the type that probably brags to his buddies about the good looking girls he can get.  Nancy is attractive but not the type he usually dates.  Bartise wanted Raven because of her looks.  Bartise needs to grow up.  

[catherinejane]

i think Cole is the type of man who it would be fun to date.

but marry him? at 25? nope - you'd wait for him to grow up!

i did respect SK saying no to the rodeo/chasing animals - its not the nicest thing to do really, better to know one's own mind and say NOPE, not for me.

[Empress1]

9 hours ago, noluvnoluck said:

I'm thinking more and more that Cole and Colleen would've been the perfect match. 

1 hour ago, catherinejane said:

i think Cole is the type of man who it would be fun to date.

but marry him? at 25? nope - you'd wait for him to grow up!

Yes. I could see Cole and Colleen working, and Cole is kind of playful and that could be fun, but neither is ready to be married. They could date for a few years (maybe as each other’s first long relationship - I know Cole is divorced but I think that relationship was like six months start to finish) and then see where they are, but either of them marrying right now is a bad idea.

3 hours ago, LakeGal said:

Bartise needs to grow up.  

Yes. Some 25-26-year-olds are ready to be married. These people? Nah.

[pH-factor]

Z should run away.  Apparently that was the first time he even tried to cook for her.  Sure doesn't everyone have their fries after eating the rest of the meal!  The shooting nerfballs into the kitchen, idiot.  The gall to call someone bipolar, does he know anyone with mental illness?  He is too immature for marriage.

[pH-factor]

Sorry that was meant for another thread.  Dd SK discuss what she'd do if her spouse had to move for school or job?  He knew he was going to CA for school so he should have asked any of his  potential wives about it as well as financial issues.  Her exercise instructor pay was not enough for her living expenses thus the other gigs.  Is there a demand for fitness instructors in Berkeley?  Are Nigerian husbands  OK with their wives bartending or being bottle "girls"?  Did B throw the money around her Pod thinking she was a stripper?  Regardless SK should not have waited til after proposal to raise those issues. Makes me wonder how realistic these Pod talks really are.  Wonder if Raven let her dates know she wanted a sugar daddy?

[jabRI]

I remember SK talking about going back to school in the pods, I think?

Also, Colleen and Matt, she's giving off a Jessica and Mark vibe, like she wanted to get engaged to somebody, so she could not feel like a loser.  But she has her own red flags, like at her age her parents have never met a boyfriend? Her relationships last months not years?  Seems odd at her age.

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, jabRI said:

I remember SK talking about going back to school in the pods, I think?

Also, Colleen and Matt, she's giving off a Jessica and Mark vibe, like she wanted to get engaged to somebody, so she could not feel like a loser.  But she has her own red flags, like at her age her parents have never met a boyfriend? Her relationships last months not years?  Seems odd at her age.

Meh. She’s 25, and a young 25 at that. I can see it. What I find odd is her desire to go straight from keeping it light to marriage, with no longer-term dating in between. It reminds me of one of the Married at First Sight participants, Virginia, who had always been single and “promiscuous” (her words), and had no clue that she’d have to change her habits when she got married. “Why can’t I pass out on my guy friends’ couches when I come back drunk?”

[Jane Tuesday]

3 hours ago, jabRI said:

like at her age her parents have never met a boyfriend?

I don't know how long Colleen has lived in Texas, but her parents are in Pennsylvania. I would have to be super serious with someone to drag them cross- country to meet my family. 

[Jack Sampson]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Meh. She’s 25, and a young 25 at that. I can see it. What I find odd is her desire to go straight from keeping it light to marriage, with no longer-term dating in between. It reminds me of one of the Married at First Sight participants, Virginia, who had always been single and “promiscuous” (her words), and had no clue that she’d have to change her habits when she got married. “Why can’t I pass out on my guy friends’ couches when I come back drunk?”

How could someone like that make it past the "experts"?

[ichbin]

Does anyone else roll their eyes each time one of the participants refers to their situation as and "experiment"?  I'm sure it has to be at the request of production but it just sounds so ridiculous.  

22 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

In a million years I will never ever believe that Raven was going to go through with it.  SK and Raven had this planned.

I am right there with you on this!  These two seem to have had the least amount of connection.  Someone always has to accept or reject before the other even if it is a mutual decision. This way he gets the positive ego boost edit by her claiming to be ready to accept him. She gets the sympathy and good edit for being the one who is rejected. Plus they both got to participate from start to finish and walk away no worse for the wear.

On 11/3/2022 at 2:48 PM, EdnasEdibles said:

Matt continues to scare me. He has a scary vibe. 

I think if Matt were a woman with the past experience of having had a cheating spouse who impregnated another person and behaved the way he does people would be more sympathetic to how the past is affecting them their behavior by making them suspicious and fearful it could happen again.  If anything I think he probably could have participated in some good therapy  to deal with that situation before attempting to find someone new.

On 11/3/2022 at 10:08 AM, Starlight925 said:

Zanab annoyed the sh*t out of me, directing Cole like that, while he was trying to make dinner.  Then Cole took it one step further, by asking if she was Bipolar.  They are a combined mess.  Ain't no way this one works out for the long term.

The longer she stays with him on the show the more motherlike she behaves and she even looks older.  I hope these two don't go through with the wedding.  

[Ms Blue Jay]

4 hours ago, jabRI said:

Also, Colleen and Matt, she's giving off a Jessica and Mark vibe, like she wanted to get engaged to somebody, so she could not feel like a loser.  But she has her own red flags, like at her age her parents have never met a boyfriend? Her relationships last months not years?  Seems odd at her age.

I completely disagree that these are red flags or odd, personally.

[jabRI]

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I completely disagree that these are red flags or odd, personally.

You may be right, maybe it's just her immaturity and lack of real world experiences that I'm picking up on.  I think that's part of the disconnect with Matt, even at a young age he was in a 10 year (?) relationship with all it's ups and downs. She is a pretty young 25, so maybe she and Cole could mature together?  

[Jack Sampson]

On 11/3/2022 at 7:08 AM, Starlight925 said:

I don't believe Raven did this for marriage for one. second.

I believe she did this to boost her IG, build a bigger base.

I do believe that Raven fell in love with SK's mom, which was an unexpected accident for her.

I think she would have said yes.  It started off as publicity for her so, when her first pick didn't want her, she jumped to her fallback to stay on the show.  Later, Raven saw the chance to have a support base with an absentee husband who would be paying some bills.  No way she would have been faithful to him while he was in LA. 

[Empress1]

5 minutes ago, jabRI said:

You may be right, maybe it's just her immaturity and lack of real world experiences that I'm picking up on.  I think that's part of the disconnect with Matt, even at a young age he was in a 10 year (?) relationship with all it's ups and downs. She is a pretty young 25, so maybe she and Cole could mature together?  

Matt may have more long-term relationship experience but I don’t think he’s more mature than Colleen (or Cole). Neither of them are ready to be married, particularly to each other. 

[DearEvette]

Well the editing was a true psych-out with SK and Raven.  For what it is worth, I personally never saw their chemistry as a couple.  They feel mismatched.  But it could be that they are both pretty guarded/reserved people so they don't radiate all the big emotions or are super demonstrative or TMI like everyone else.  I come down on the side I think Raven was blindsided. I think she thought they could weather the long distance relationship.

I wonder if he was holding out hope that she would change her mind. But she might have been inflexible on that.  So no shade to her if she doesn't want to move to California and basically live the life of a grad student.

I can see that being an issue.  But what kinda pisses me off about SK is his continued concern trolling about her family.  She explained -- she has a mother, a sick grandma and an uncle expecting a kid and they either didn't want to or physically couldn't come to the wedding.  She has her found family with all her bff girlfriends who were there.  Like she said, what the fuck does he want her to do?  I think he gets off easy because he's so very even keeled and there is nothing objectionable about him one way or the other.  But like I said in one of my earlier posts, he gives a real passive energy to me where it feels like he has been silent about his real concerns and his own red flags only to finally confront them by saying no at the altar.  I would hope that he would have warned her, but it doesn't feel that way, imo.

I actually feel very sorry for her and don't think her motives were nefarious. 

I loved her moment with SK's mom.  That felt very genuine to me.

Also she and her bridesmaids looked gorgeous!  I loved the detailing on the veil.

I will say Bartise's suit and tie looked good.  Nice outfit.  And now I have come to the end of my nice segment about Bartise.  I also think he is going to say no.  This makes me both sad and happy for Nancy.

[Empress1]

3 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

I also think he is going to say no.  This makes me both sad and happy for Nancy.

Agree. It’ll hurt because she’s all in, but in the long run it’s best if they don’t get married. I actually hope he says no because I don’t think he and Nancy are a match.

[deSchenke]

17 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

Later, Raven saw the chance to have a support base with an absentee husband who would be paying some bills.  No way she would have been faithful to him while he was in LA. 

UC Berkeley is on the east bay side of San Francisco Bay. But I get your point. She certainly could have picked up some jobs doing Pilates instruction in the Bay Area. She just didn't want to.

[Irlandesa]

2 hours ago, ichbin said:

I think if Matt were a woman with the past experience of having had a cheating spouse who impregnated another person and behaved the way he does people would be more sympathetic to how the past is affecting them their behavior by making them suspicious and fearful it could happen again. 

I think, regardless of gender, people could be sympathetic to someone who may have some trepidation about a past infidelity.  But given how much heat Zanab is getting for passive aggressive comments or perceived "criticisms" of Cole, I do not think a woman would get sympathy for raging at a calm man.  Matt has trust issues and Matt has anger issues.  They are not inherently linked.  I think he'd have anger issues regardless if he had trust issues.

13 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

I actually feel very sorry for her and don't think her motives were nefarious.

Me neither.  I'd guess most people come on this show for something other than love.  Love might happen but most of the people who do this have a primary reason*.  Love is secondary.  All I want is an attempt at sincerity and I think SK and Raven had that in whatever relationship they had.  Something good and genuine came from it even if it's ultimately between Raven and SK's mom.  I find it harder to watch a Cole and Zanab where I feel like they just can't wait to escape.  Ditto for Bartise. 

*I always laugh a little when I've seen people (elsewhere) hold up the first season as some sort of "before-times" as if all anyone wanted in that season was love.  They seem to forget that Lauren pretty much admitted she came onto the show to launch her influencing career and didn't expect to actually get married.

[nomodrama]

On 11/3/2022 at 1:10 AM, Zima said:

Why tf did SK sign up for this show, knowing full well that he was moving in 2 months?

I had this question episodes ago when he first mentioned it. Why would they put him through on this show, it was only bound to cause a major obstacle. They had a couple on Married At First Sight, the woman is a doctor and she got a job offer in a different state. I am not sure it if happened while filming though as it was during Covid. They ended up staying married in the end and the husband followed her to her new job. Not sure if they are still together though and it seemed super unlikely that he was willing to do that. I had already marked them as a No based on this alone but I honestly thought that it would be Raven saying no. They did surprise me with it being SK. 

I am betting Bartise says no. In fact I'm at the point based on the couples and the previews, that I do not think any of them will say yes. All of the couple will end in failure and Nick and Vanessa can shove it.  Though maybe they are going to pull to totally switch from the editing and Colleen and Matt will say yes. 

[Zuleikha]

She certainly could have picked up some jobs doing Pilates instruction in the Bay Area. She just didn't want to.

Which is perfectly reasonable. It's a big move from Dallas to the Bay Area. She also clearly has a good circle of close friends, and we don't know anything about her actual job situation. Finding part-time Pilates work is easy, but finding a situation with a studio or a client base that can support full-time instruction (or mostly full-time instruction) is a lot harder.

SK is also going for a 2-year program. Why should Raven relocate her life when she just may have to do it again when SK graduates?

[DearEvette]

Quote

I think she would have said yes.  It started off as publicity for her so, when her first pick didn't want her, she jumped to her fallback to stay on the show.  Later, Raven saw the chance to have a support base with an absentee husband who would be paying some bills.  No way she would have been faithful to him while he was in LA. 

This feels like a really harsh reading of her.  There is nothing that Raven has shown to suggest she would be unfaithful.  She certainly didn't even entertain Bartise's compliments nor his not too subtle come on.  Nothing that she presented on screen seems to point to her being a playa.  Even at the strip club she looked like she was clutching her pearls the whole time.  All the other women were hooting and hollering and getting lap dances and she was sitting back with her girlfriends. She just didn't come off as flirty or coquettish.

During a separation, SK being part of a fairly smallish cohort of the entering class of MBA students would be in close proximity with them quite a bit, taking classes with the same group and doing projects and group work or team projects.   He'd actually have as much opportunity to be unfaithful given the probability  that some of his cohort could be attractive single women. He'd be in  close contact with that specific group for prolonged period of time.  In my grad program my entering class of students was our friend group for the most part and that was a lot of intra-group dating. 

Sure unfaithfulness has a higher than normal likelihood in a long distance relationship, especially such a new one that has been fast tracked.  But it seems unfair to automatically assume that she'd be the one cheating given the lack of anything  indicating that. 

Quote

UC Berkeley is on the east bay side of San Francisco Bay. But I get your point. She certainly could have picked up some jobs doing Pilates instruction in the Bay Area. She just didn't want to.

From what her friends said it sounds like she has a pretty solid client base.  And apparently it is one that is stable  enough to support her her lifestyle.  So it might not be that simple to pick up instruction or to establish herself in a new place that quickly.  It takes time to build a client base. And I could see how she could find it daunting.  Marriage, moving to a new home and loss/change of a job are three  the top ten lifestyle stressors.  She'd be doing all three at the same time. 

Also SK is going to be in a full time, 2 year, very competitive MBA program.  He'll be in classes, but he will also have to study, do group work, do projects, probably do a few practicums or some applied courses where he'll be onsite and placed in business offices.  He'll build a social network with his peers that won't be hers.

I know he said he is getting his tuition paid, but tuition is only part of the cost of going to school.  He didn't explicitly say, but if he is getting a graduate stipend most stipends are calculated so that they would just cover basic housing, food and books.  Most schools require you to have health insurance, if you are not covered they make you pay for the school's health insurance which is a cost on top of tuition.  And then there are additional fees for various things that get tacked on.  At our MBA program, there are several classes that require all students  to wear actual Business attire to class suitable for working in a corporation, so if he doesn't have any he'll have to make an investment to get some.  My understanding that this is not unusual in many programs.  He won't be able to work while he is in school so he won't be able to pull a real salary.  So unless he has money saved or plans to take out loans or that stipend is stupendous, then it will most definitely be a lifestyle hit.

[violet and green]

3 hours ago, DearEvette said:

I know he said he is getting his tuition paid, but tuition is only part of the cost of going to school.  He didn't explicitly say, but if he is getting a graduate stipend most stipends are calculated so that they would just cover basic housing, food and books.  Most schools require you to have health insurance, if you are not covered they make you pay for the school's health insurance which is a cost on top of tuition.  And then there are additional fees for various things that get tacked on. 

And then Raven expected him to also pay half her rent!

[Empress1]

11 hours ago, nomodrama said:

They had a couple on Married At First Sight, the woman is a doctor and she got a job offer in a different state. I am not sure it if happened while filming though as it was during Covid.

It did. She had just finished med school and was waiting to see where she’d do her residency. They were in New Orleans and she was matched somewhere in VA. She was a bad pick for the show for that reason - you go where you’re matched, so she’d have to leave if her match wasn’t in New Orleans (assuming that was even on the table, we don’t know what her choices were). I think her husband agreed to split his time. They ended up divorced.

8 hours ago, DearEvette said:

So unless he has money saved or plans to take out loans or that stipend is stupendous, then it will most definitely be a lifestyle hit.

Yep - he said he was going to have to “live like a student.” Berkeley is a high COL area so he’s going to be pretty broke for that time. If he lands a high-paying summer internship, that’ll help with the second year. My best friend is a lawyer and her BigLaw summer associate job between 1L & 2L helped fund the rest of law school, though she still came out with a ton of debt.

[jabRI]

I don't think Raven has such a big 'lifestyle' in Texas.  She has to supplement her Pilates work with bartending, bottle work, etc.  I don't think she'd be giving up all that much, financially anyway.

[Ms Blue Jay]

I don't think Raven showed any physical attractiveness towards SK.  That's just one of the many reasons I don't believe this coupling.  I also think SK seems too decent to reject Raven without warning her first.  Raven also did not seem that upset.  Just a lot of nervous laughter and smiling.  I just don't buy it.

There are defenses of Raven for not bringing her family around, but if she was really serious about the wedding and proud of the guy, maybe she would have put effort into bringing family around.  If I look at it from this perspective, it's incredibly easy to see why SK's mother had this hesitation.  She was scared for her son.

Edited November 5, 2022 by Ms Blue Jay

[LuvMyShows]

On 11/4/2022 at 4:43 AM, LakeGal said:

I can't say any of his friends were great looking.  Bartise is the type that probably brags to his buddies about the good looking girls he can get.  Nancy is attractive but not the type he usually dates.  Bartise wanted Raven because of her looks.  Bartise needs to grow up.  

I was very very very surprised to see his friends.  I expected fit and conventionally attractive men, comparable to him, and they were far from it.  Probably very nice guys, so why are they friends with him?  My only guess is that there may be some sort of feeling on their part of "wow, I must be something if a guy like that wants to be friends with me", kind of like a referred glory.  And maybe he prefers to surround himself with people who will not steal his shine.

[jabRI]

As someone else pointed out, compared to earlier seasons, we don't really get a feel for how these people live their real lives.  We've never seen Nancy doing speech therapy (client face could be obscured for privacy) or Matt, who is a VP, doing anything.  Just feels really disjointed in trying to care about these people when you don't really know how they live their lives.

And I love Alexa's father, to me he seems really down to earth, sincere, and a straight talker.

[HerkyJerky]

Cole & Zanab are just mismatched in their personalities. He just seems like such a goofy, fun-loving guy. When he went into the arena at the rodeo and did his best Russell Crowe imitation by shouting out, “Are you not entertained?”, I literally laughed out loud!

[DearEvette]

On 11/5/2022 at 9:58 AM, jabRI said:

I don't think Raven has such a big 'lifestyle' in Texas.  She has to supplement her Pilates work with bartending, bottle work, etc.  I don't think she'd be giving up all that much, financially anyway.

Your lifestyle doesn't have to be big to be one that you enjoy and are comfortable with, though.  It sounds like she has an apartment in an area she likes, her job, enough money to give herself some extras.  She mentioned taking off for a weekend to go to Cabo once in awhile.  I can see the idea of picking up and moving for two years could give her pause.  It isn't something she planned for herself it is kinda being imposed on her. 

12 hours ago, HerkyJerky said:

Cole & Zanab are just mismatched in their personalities. He just seems like such a goofy, fun-loving guy. When he went into the arena at the rodeo and did his best Russell Crowe imitation by shouting out, “Are you not entertained?”, I literally laughed out loud!

Yeah, I got this vibe very early on.  He has a somewhat juvenile sense of humor.  She can't seem to roll with that.  It can be fun in some contexts and  obnoxious in others.  I know the show likes to play stuff up for drama when they are crafting their stories for the couples, and from what we've seen it feels like Zanab is more often irritated by his humor than not.  It can be a small thing that looms larger.  And given how they interact I can see the more irritated she gets the more obnoxious he gets.  The only way they will succeed is if she can learn to just sigh exasperatedly when his humor gets to be too much and he learns to read the room when she's reached her limit and tone it a bit.

[SummerDreams]

Regarding Raven and SK: I think all of this was made up because in the first episodes I thought Raven didn't even like SK and it was very obvious that she didn't want this kind of relationship. They didn't even show them kiss or hug each other and suddenly Raven is crying at the altar because SK didn't want to marry her. I think that they asked the production to make the question to SK first so he says no and Raven promised them that she would cry and look sad. I don't believe for a moment that she had any feelings for him.