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  1. I feel like I'm 50% ewwwww and then 50% . . . I get it. OK, so to illustrate. I'm in my mid-40s. I live in the midwest. I divorced a few years ago. I've been trying to date. So far this year: A 50 year old man who told me that I was too old. A 42 year old man who has never been married and never had kids and isn't ready for a commitment after ending a relationship 3 years ago. A 40 year old attorney who told me that he usually only dates women in their 20s. I did not hear from him again. A 40 year old man who spent the entire first date complaining about how his ex-wife is a "whore" who cheated on him. I did not contact him. A 43 year old man who's been divorced for 5 years, also mentioned his ex was in her 20s. Spent a month dating him and then he finally ghosted me and I wrote him to be like "What's going on" and he told me that he felt no chemistry with me. And a 45 year old man who lied about how many times he's been married. Lied about whether he smokes (which I wouldn't care about the smoking but I care about the lying). I'm getting a general bad feeling about him and can't put my finger on it so I'm going to end it. So that's what's out there. With the last guy, he's OK looking. He has a job. He's been attentive but not too attentive. He's been a little over the top though. A little too faux humble. A little too "aww shucks, you're pretty" in a way that rings false. I am in a cranky mood lately so I dont' feel like dealing with it. But, I absolutely have been spending way too many days trying to figure out if I should bother or if I'm being too picky? Or what? So I kind of get it. You go out. You try. Society keeps telling you that you're old and middle aged and past your prime. And I weigh more than I did the last time I was single. I have stretch marks and scars that weren't there in my 20s. I'm lonely. Friends tell me I'm being too picky. So I doubt myself. I can see how someone would doubt themselves enough to overlook the issues. And if you're really vulnerable and hurt . . . I don't know. I can't see it and yet . . . I can.
  2. Oh Brandt rings so true to me. I feel like I encountered so many Brandts in high school. This seems young for the Brandt types. But yeah, I think it's more of a comment on toxic masculinity. I think on some level Brandt liked Maya but she's not cool. She's kind of a weirdo actually. It's easier for him to stay cool by making fun of her. As a weirdo, this kind of macho behavior lasts into college - hell, into adulthood, for some men. I know of so many women who experienced a first kiss or a first sexual experience with a Brandt-like guy. He's so nice in private, so into you . . . and ignores you or is outright hostile in front of others. I also remember so many Maura types from my youth. Hell, even my adulthood.
  3. I have nothing to do with this podcast but I subscribe to it and today noticed that they're discussing Love Fraud. It's really interesting and they look at his sociopathy and "how he was able to trick these women" - So check out Real Crime Profile for the Love Fraud discussion there too. It's a nice supplement to the show.
  4. I think Krab Kingz is a franchise. We have one near me and there was (or might still be?) one about 10 minutes away. I went once for take-out. It's not bad. Very salty. It's very "crab boil" where you get a big aluminum tray filled with crab legs, corn, potatoes. It's all covered in salty seasoning and you get butter on the side. Its not terrible but not my favorite. Not fancy at all. But also not really cheap. I could not believe he convinced the one Krab Kingz lady that the owner wasn't his girlfriend but that she was just obsessed with him and the other Krab Kingz lady dated him. For like 3 days. And they had a ton of selfies together in their three day relationship. I was side eyeing that lady. And the owner. Why would you stand for this? Good lord. HE ISN'T EVEN CUTE.
  5. I see what you mean. Yes. It's a good distinction. I still go out plenty without a man and enjoy dressing up and having fun even if I'm not dating anyone. I'd just prefer to be dating someone - ha! But yes, there are a lot of people who don't know how to function without a significant other. I remember there was an episode of How I Met Your Mother where one character broke up with his long term girlfriend and was sad about not going out to brunch and his friends were like "You do know you can get brunch with other people, right?" I really do believe that the majority of people online are looking for love. Or sex. But at least they're honest. But there is a small percentage that have terrible intentions. And those guys can sniff it out. There was a case here that hit our weekly of a man who was swindling money out of women and money out of a grieving dad by saying he was going to make a documentary about his son. He's a pretty cute guy too. I went to college with him. He'd be a great season 2 of Love Fraud. But a simple google search would uncover so much about this guy.
  6. I know this is likely a sign for disordered eating on my part but man, I would love to have someone who just told me what I can eat and what I can't eat. But with a normal calorie allowance. Like a dietitian, I guess. But a very pushy bossy dietitian. "Hey, can I eat four more of those salted caramel almonds from Aldi?" and she'd be like "NO! Dammit, you just had 4 like 2 minutes ago. What is WRONG with you? Do you want to spend all of your extra money buying new pants?!" Someone develop a cult like this. But you know, again, with a normal amount of calories based on my height and activity level.
  7. There's a difference though . . . I mean, I'm divorced and I am looking hard for someone to be in a relationship with. I know I can have a perfectly fine life without a man. I know that's possible. I have friends I go out with. I have traveled with friends. I take lessons in things that interest me. I volunteer with groups. But you know, sex. Kissing. Cuddling. Physical intimacy. I hate it when friends are like "You don't need a man!" - I know I don't NEED a man. I'd like a man to have regular sex with. Plus, I have learned this year that when the shit hits the fan and you're knee deep in a global pandemic, a bunch of tertiary friends aren't going to come over and spoon you on the couch. So I don't really think there's anything wrong when people say "I would like to feel physically intimate with someone who cares about me" which is all that people are saying when they mention wanting a significant other. A friend is great. I have plenty of friends. But they fill very different roles in your life. That being said, I'm not so lonely or desperate that I miss red flags. Being online with a bunch of apps, most of the time people are just out there trying their best to find someone. But there have been a few instances of guys who set off all of my warning bells. They try to move too fast, too soon. They are very effusive. It always sets off my spidey sense when they're like "You are stunning!" - Sir, I am cute on a good day. Simma down a bit please. I had one guy who was so effusive so quickly. Non-stop compliments and declarations that he felt like we had SO much in common. Looked him up on our state's casenet and he had a listing a mile long for stalking and domestic abuse. And he had said he was divorced for two years but according to the courts, he had only been divorced for one week when he reached out to me. Another guy kept changing the time we were meeting and where we were meeting. A tiny bit of digging after the date revealed that he was still living with his girlfriend. Hadn't moved out. Hadn't broken up. So I don't think it's bad to want someone in your life romantically. But you have to do due diligence. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. If they're coming on super strong, be wary. Google is your friend and public records are illuminating. There's no way I'd get engaged to someone or give him any money at all if I hadn't met any of his friends or family or done a records search on him.
  8. I absolutely think that was the case with Sarah. She was not really a successful actress. The clip of that vampire show is cringey. This allowed her to make money and perform and be on stage and be famous in a small circle. There's even that scene of Keith directing her and being like "No, you need to be bigger and say 'GOOD MORNING!'" and it was probably like getting notes from a director. I think she loved that aspect of it. In the podcast she talked about how she'd convince people to join and be like "It's only $2,000!" and if they were like "But I don't have that" she'd then come back with "But if you needed surgery and that surgery was $2,000, wouldn't you be able to find that money? Talk to the friends who you think would help you with that. Sell your car. Do what you have to do because you're creating your future!" -- really icky stuff like that and she didn't see any problem with that. So, knowing stuff like that is keeping me from feeling really sorry for her. I know that people change and they learn more but Bonnie is kind of my hero in this. It took Bonnie very little time to be like "The hell? This is messed up!" and I applaud her for that. I do laugh at the fact that Allison Mack is the Tom Cruise of this cult. Like . . . her? That's as big as you could get? Her? I can't help but think that the Smallville set must have been a terrible place when she and Kristen joined up. Poor Tom Welling. The stories he could tell.
  9. Watching this made me dig deep into the podcasts surrounding it. Good lord, what a mess. My feeling on Mark is that if it weren't for the sex stuff, he would have stayed in it forever. He loves that new agey "Be the Secret!" stuff and I don't even thing the MLM aspect of it bothered him at all. It was losing his wife if he stayed and the idea of the sex cult. But with Sarah, I don't know what to say about her. I feel like she would have stayed with it forever. With the branding I feel like she didn't want to be branded but also that she was OK coercing people and hoodwinking them, but was upset to discover that she was coerced. I think she thought she was at the top of the pyramid and when she discovered she's not one of the organizers and deciders and is instead someone to coerce, she was annoyed.
  10. This is going to sound terrible because the show is riveting and horrifying but . . . I really can’t stand Michelle’s overly dramatic writing/narration. I know it’s not her narrating it. But “I hunted a killer with a laptop!” Makes me 🙄 a little. I feel that with so much of the narration and then I feel bad.
  11. I have no sympathy for her with the $16,000. I always get really prickly when people think they're "owed" a certain amount of money in life. Like when people get upset that they don't get a lot of money when someone dies and they expected it. Things happen. There's no guarantee that even if she had stayed married to Dan she would have been rich her whole life. Maybe he would have died of a heart attack? Maybe he would have lost his practice? Who knows? She did pay her dues but that's no guarantee. You can pay your dues in a career only for a recession to hit. You can expect an inheritance and then the person donates it to their college. Money is not a guarantee. Nothing is. Work with what you got. You can't count your chickens before their hatched. You only have the chickens you have at any given moment. And $16,000 worth of chickens is a damn good amount. A divorce almost always negatively affects the wife's income more than the man's. I certainly have less money now than I did when I was married. But I have 100% control over the money I do have and that makes quite a bit of difference. If Betty had worked the gallery job and also had her $16,000/month she would have been just fine. But even with the money issue, she was insane with the phone messages and the smearing of the cake and the shattering of the Christmas tree. That's bonkers. I mean, my ex-husband is nowhere close to Dan. Our divorce was not contentious and there have been MANY times I have wanted to take a bat to something. But I see a therapist. I have a number of amazing friends who will listen to me rant on the phone or take me out for margaritas and I move on.
  12. I was annoyed this year that there were no older daters. Last year we had at least one older guy going on dates.
  13. The odd guy was weird but slightly endearing. I mean, I wouldn’t want to date him because of the awkwardness but I was glad he found someone. I felt so bad for him when the lady was like “I don’t feel a romantic connection” - I’ve gotten that before and you always think you’d prefer that to ghosting but it hurts just as bad. Rejection just hurts. My least favorite person was the make-up artist in the gold dress who thought she was way more deep than she actually us and was drunk on all of her dates. 🙄
  14. I binged the entire series and I love this show. I'm sad there's not more chatter here. I wonder if it's a show that would benefit from having one thread for all episodes rather than individual breakout eps?
  15. It is interesting to watch this when the LIfetime movie was super sympathetic to Dan and this show is very sympathetic to Betty. I'm in camp "Both are jerks" - I mean, Betty did sacrifice a lot for Dan. She did raise his kids and live a life of wealth . . . but nothing is guaranteed. Sure going from $300,000/month to $40,000/month would be jarring but she was hardly on food stamps again. Life goes on. Dan could have easily have dropped dead of a heart attack before meeting Linda and Betty would have had to figure out how to make do. Being rich at one point in your life does not mean you get to be rich forever. Dan was clearly manipulative and narcissistic but Betty was also petulant and unhinged. So I am in Camp "I feel bad for the kids" I mean, I'm divorced. I didn't expect it to happen. I live much more frugally now than I did when I was married. My ex has moved on and has a girlfriend living with him. Do I get the desire to drive your car through the front of someone's house? YES. Oh my god. Yes. There are some days that I have little bleeding marks in my palm from clenching my fists so tightly so I don't scream at him. But I clench my fists. I found a therapist. I joined dating apps. I signed up for an adult ballet class and some running groups and I am trying to live my best life. Life happens when you're making other plans and you can either shut down or you can move on. Betty had the choice. She shut down and marinated in her anger.
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