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S09.E07: It's Me Or The Bikini


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12 minutes ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

The big expense for a beach wedding would be getting to a beach from the Midwest

I think she wants to go to a beach in California to get married and stay there.  What part of Jibjab telling her how broke he is does she not understand? It is not a matter of Jib going to Chicago for a week or so to work on his album, (a phrase I cannot say with a straight face) so there fore she gets a beach wedding but the means to do it.  A beach wedding is not a bargaining chip when Jibjab hasn't got any chips. Just go to the court house and get married then have a beach wedding later...who would even be there as guests?  Now I want to see which pair of sunglasses will be attached to her veil and if they will both wear some sort of matching wedding attire.

Speaking in real life now, a beach wedding is not fun at all, it is windy, you have to walk in the hot sand barefoot, certainly not in heels, flip flops send sand flying up your skirt, it is loud from the roar of the ocean and there are always on lookers that will wind up in the background of photos.  As a guest I would rather not sit in the hot sun roasting in a dress waiting for some bride to walk down the aisle, sorry, not sorry.  Why can't the bride just take photos on the beach while the guests are comfortable inside?

We all need the background story on Grandma JibJab because she just made The Family Jib interesting.

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25 minutes ago, AR Traveler said:

My Sunday infusion of trash and snark!

Kobe/Emily:  Cameroon was a French colony, so the language is probably still spoken there, or it's in books like the picture book.  I thought starting Kovin (or whatever his name is) off in French was very cool; kids pick up a second language quicker than adults.  But no, Mama Emily had to swoop in like a vulture waiting to pounce.  Emily never has anything good to say to Kobe, it's nag, nag, nag and screeching "You're not doing it right!"  Previews have him finally breaking and yelling "Shut the *&^( up!" Glorious.

There is no way they will let that kid learn French or any other language cuz we're in MURICA  & we only speak Murican !

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22 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Supposedly she is a freelance writer.  Maybe she thought she could do that for a couple hours here and there while Avi was sleeping lol.

Given Ari's limited intellect, she probably watched Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City live in an expensive Manhattan apartment while writing an article a week and thought "I can do that," not realizing that SATC is a television show and thus not remotely realistic about either NYC finances or the income a freelance writer actually can expect, assuming their writing is good enough to be publishable.

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29 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Supposedly she is a freelance writer.  Maybe she thought she could do that for a couple hours here and there while Avi was sleeping lol.

Ari: "I'm a freelance writer"

Pepper Mostly: "Meaning she has a blog on WordPress that she hasn't posted on since 2019.

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11 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Speaking in real life now, a beach wedding is not fun at all, it is windy, you have to walk in the hot sand barefoot, certainly not in heels, flip flops send sand flying up your skirt, it is loud from the roar of the ocean and there are always on lookers that will wind up in the background of photos. 

Oil tankers and barges in the background, seagull shit lol.

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On 5/28/2022 at 2:15 AM, CrazyInAlabama said:

I think Emily's back up plan is to have another kid, so she doesn't have to go back to work.   

In her talking head, she looks pregnant.  🤷🏻‍♀️  

Having one baby has served her well. Another will keep her gravy train going. 

Ari’s parents were the smart ones to get them a place of their own and not have them move in, eventually squatting.  It’s really money well spent. 

Honestly, I don’t get these buffoons that thinks living with their parents and intended a good thing.  If my husband suggested this, I’d leave him.  If you cannot stand and live on your own, then you are not ready to get married.  

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1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Ari: "I'm a freelance writer"

Pepper Mostly: "Meaning she has a blog on WordPress that she hasn't posted on since 2019.

Oh, I think she's posted on it more recently than that but the question is, has anyone READ it? And, I don't know anything about such things, but how do you make money posting stuff you write? 

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(edited)
8 hours ago, AR Traveler said:

Emily never has anything good to say to Kobe, it's nag, nag, nag and screeching "You're not doing it right!"  Previews have him finally breaking and yelling "Shut the *&^( up!" Glorious.

First, AR Traveler, excellent post. All well said and I totally agree.

Honestly, Emily needs to show she cares about Kobe, his sacrificing as well as his accepting her like she is (who else would?) This is a new relationship, but Emily acts like they've been together decades and she just doesn't give a damn anymore. Other than their one night of sex, have they stepped out as a couple and connected to each other as a man and a woman? No. Has she made an effort in her appearance? No. It's all about her control issues, being unappreciative towards Kobe and acting like she's the be-all of mothers who knows all. Where is this chemistry she speaks of? She's another one who never takes the blame and if they split up, she will always think she was the perfectly unflawed one and trash Kobe. Oh, and nursing your baby is a wonderful bonding thing, but throwing out your boob nonstop, especially in front of your dad, is a bit much.

8 hours ago, AR Traveler said:

Maybe Jibjab should get a job, a real job.  Does he have any idea how few musicians actually break through?  How does Miona think people live in L.A., in the lifestyle she wants? 

Very true. Get a real job, Jibby while working towards your goal. I was surprised that Mimosa didn't jump at the chance to go to Chicago. Does she have any interest in learning about the country she supposedly wants to live in? Is her mind that closed up that she isn't capable of even wondering what the US can offer, other than her LA beach wedding and then settling there? Where's the money she saved for this said beach wedding? Mimi, there is something known as the internet. Perhaps you can take some time otherwise spent putting your makeup on to look to see what fun and interesting  things you can do in SD. Experience where you are. Find out if the US has states other than NY, SD and California. Educate yourself and maybe you can talk about something other than YOUR dream, which you have entirely put on Jibby to materialize.

Edited by Breedom
Switched two words to correct flow.
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That class reunion was the fakest thing I've ever seen since I bought a 4 carat diamonique ring from QVC. How gullible does Sharp Entertainment think we are? They could have at least put up a sign saying "Welcome back class of 2012" or whatever class Kara was in. There were no decorations aside from Kara's unspectacular balloon array. And really, did we have to watch her and Guillermo inflate balloons for what seemed like a good 20 minutes or so? 

Second on the fake parade was that gondola ride. Bilal and Shaeeda were apparently inside the vessel, but I don't think it was really going anywhere. Like their relationship.

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3 hours ago, AR Traveler said:

Jibri/Miona: If we drink every time Miona whines about moving to L.A., we'll be sloshed in no time.  Horses and their care, and farms are never going to be her thing.  Maybe Jibjab should get a job, a real job.  Does he have any idea how few musicians actually break through?  How does Miona think people live in L.A., in the lifestyle she wants?  They have lots of earned money.  Neither she nor Jib have the skills to make it out there, and the gap between the haves and have-nots is huge.  She doesn't realize how comfortable they have it now.  I also imagine beach weddings can cost a fortune out there because that's a common fantasy (never mind blowing sand and unbearable heat).  Michigan has beaches.

ETA: I had to go check "beach wedding venues" in SoCal.  The very cheapest I found started at $1500, and that was just for a grassy hill.  Catering, booze, music, etc. not included.  Even the $21,000 venue didn't include the catering.  Yikes.

Was this a Sid and Nancy reference?

I'm pretty sure that Miona wants an *LA* or at worst Santa Monica wedding.  I don't think she'd settle for the beach at home:

https://www.fs.usda.gov/recarea/blackhills/recarea/?recid=26155

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This Week’s Winners and Losers:

Winner: The Shirt Shack, which finally managed to unload those pink flannel shirts in a BOGO (buy one, get one) sale. Even after numerous months on the deep discount sales rack, no one in Rapid City had the lack of fashion sense and panache to purchase those monstrosities beauties until Jabroni walked into the store. The Shirt Shack ended up putting him on their mailing list because they have an entire storeroom of languishing items that will be shipped to some poverty-stricken emerging nations when/if the supply chain ever rights itself.

Losers: Yve’s friends, who were sent a few interrogation scenes from Law & Order scripts to help them understand the nuances of delving into a person’s proclivities, yet somehow ended up with the narration of a scene from Wild Kingdom, in which the innocent two week old gnu is surrounded and taunted by a family of cougars hyenas until they go in for the kill. They are hoping their breasts will be asked to return for another audition at some point.

Next Week: As an homage to Jasmine, Thais, in a fit of pique, grabs John’s (from Bawstin🎶) hat off his head and throws it out the door. After deciding to raise the bar and put her own spin on it, Thais places her pee-pad trained puppy on the hat and encourages the dog to relieve itself. 

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15 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Kara and her prom king clearly peaked in High School.

What do you mean, bro? The prom king is, like, the man, bro. 

On a similar note, if Kara truly doesn’t remember that her ex discovered evidence of her cheating and that that was the catalyst for their breakup, then it shows just how self absorbed she really is. Her behavior seems to have sent her ex into an irrecoverable tailspin (that appears to have trapped him in some odd adolescent state). And she just trotted along with her life, completely unphased? No wonder she’s never learned how to have a balanced relationship. She clearly has no self awareness or self reflection whatsoever. Yikes. 

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(edited)

Good remarks and I agree with everything said about these sad people.  The only thing you missed was that Kara and her ex would have also been prom king and queen, but it wasn't allowed to win two such elections in a row.  They were just that awesome.

Also, was Kara's cheating just a kiss?  Doesn't make it right and I get that her ex justly feels betrayed, but she was just a teenager and could  certainly have matured.  I don't think it means she's a serial cheater, but there could be more to it.

Can't remember names, but the nut incident...  If she hadn't bitched at everything he did, he would be more understanding about the choking.  Why didn't they crush the nut so the kid could taste it?

Edited by Johann
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(edited)
7 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Ari: "I'm a freelance writer"

Pepper Mostly: "Meaning she has a blog on WordPress that she hasn't posted on since 2019.

“Freelance writer”/aspiring rapper/model-yacht girl/hopeful MMA fighter = no visible means of support

Edited by Auntie Anxiety
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1 hour ago, mmecorday said:

Second on the fake parade was that gondola ride. Bilal and Shaeeda were apparently inside the vessel, but I don't think it was really going anywhere. Like their relationship.

The QVC comment you made was also funny, MMECORDAY.

And to add to that, what about the drive Emily and Koban made in the car? Are we supposed to think the car was actually moving? So fake.

40 minutes ago, Spectator said:

What do you mean, bro? The prom king is, like, the man, bro. 

Grow up. You're around 30 and you look, act and sound like you stopped progressing as a teenager. Bro!

39 minutes ago, Johann said:

Also, was Kara's cheating just a kiss?  Doesn't make it right and I get that her ex justly feels betrayed, but she was just a teenager and could  certainly have matured.  I don't think it means she's a serial cheater, but there could be more to it.

I have no idea. I had to zone out and stop listening it was so boring.

I wonder why Ari's parents live in an apartment? He's a doctor, and she is an RN I think. I would think they would be swimming in $$$.

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3 hours ago, Welshman in Ca said:

And just like sex on the beach when you're young, sand in places you didn't know you had.

Every damn time!

26 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

“Freelance writer”/aspiring rapper/model-yacht girl = no visible means of support

I don't want to live in a world where Ari becomes a cam girl.

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9 minutes ago, Breedom said:

I wonder why Ari's parents live in an apartment? He's a doctor, and she is an RN I think. I would think they would be swimming in $$$.

Read their couple’s thread and all will become clear.

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4 hours ago, Welshman in Ca said:

There is no way they will let that kid learn French or any other language cuz we're in MURICA  & we only speak Murican !

According to Wiki, they also speak pidgin, but Kobe's English is impeccable nonetheless.

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(edited)
20 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Every damn time!

I don't want to live in a world where Ari becomes a cam girl.

Porn addicts could use her to break themselves of their addiction.

Edited by MrBuhBye
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So, in this week's installment:

Bilalzebub and Shaeeda: On the Gondola to Nowhere.  He is the man of her dreams - has a nice house, drives a nice car, can give her stuff. But lies and plays games. Come clean about the not wanting more kids part. If you love and respect her, she needs to know and then decide if she can just be a bonus mom to your two kids.

Guillermo and Kara: Well, that's a slice of life in going to your fiancee's high school reunion. As the balloon helper and then as her guest. You find out about her past, see her high school boyfriend, learn how popular she was in high school (aka mean girl) and see how she's developed past that - no responsibility for her 'cheating' (granted she was maybe 17 or 18, still immature, etc. She's almost 30 and faces turning 40 still being the same. She is showing you who she will be in the future. Believe it.

Jibri and Miona: No, being on Grandma's farm is not part of Miona's life plans. Life's a bitch, er, beach.  Out of nowhere, some producer wants to help out Jibby's band? Chicago is a big city and she might like it. Good shopping, good nightlife. Ah, but caviar dreams and a shrimpball budget are not fun. She is still fixated on the beach wedding - yeah, that might happen at some point. Unless you can find a lake in the area that has a bit of a beach, you and Jibs can't afford to fly to LA and spend a few thousand dollars that you don't have on an even simple beach wedding.

Kobe and Emily: What exactly is his purpose? To find a job and take care of Ems and the baby? I did understand her not wanting him to drive. For practical reasons, like he is not on her insurance policy. Not because there is a baby in the car. He seems kind and nice and patient, but her behavior is wearing him thin. Don't know if they can have a happy relationship right now and get married. She is set in her ways, runs her family, and risks running him.

Bini and Ari: So he has dreams of being an MMA fighter. Ari's family seems nice and dysfunctional. As for Bini's sisters - give him a couple of days to land, get settled, get over the jetlag, etc. Ari needs to find some sort of job. Maybe her dad has connections.

Mohamed and Yve: Did they talk about life when he would get to the US? Would she be expected to covert to Islam? He had a point about her visible underwear being tacky. Her friends had no business grilling him on his past life in Egypt - any girlfriends, etc. He did not have to call them weird or stupid. It's how some people are in North America. Ask him about Alexandria - the Catacombs, the lighthouse being one of the ancient Seven Wonders, the spiders (have been there). Yve had no idea she would have to change some of her ways? Take orders from a 25 year old? I'd probably choose the bikini over him.

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1 hour ago, Frozendiva said:

Bini and Ari: So he has dreams of being an MMA fighter. Ari's family seems nice and dysfunctional. As for Bini's sisters - give him a couple of days to land, get settled, get over the jetlag, etc. Ari needs to find some sort of job. Maybe her dad has connections.

Geez, give the guy a break. There are a million things they could have talked about other than going straight for the throat (Bini's). Make it a get-to-know-you dinner/first meeting for the sibs. Ask about how he grew up, what he'd like to see in the US. Make it a fun dinner party, welcoming Bini to the US. But not this group. They demand to know answers, and now. Meanwhile, Ari just sits there, enjoying this interrogation. She's dreamed of this moment for months and here it is.

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17 minutes ago, Breedom said:

Geez, give the guy a break. There are a million things they could have talked about other than going straight for the throat (Bini's). Make it a get-to-know-you dinner/first meeting for the sibs. Ask about how he grew up, what he'd like to see in the US. Make it a fun dinner party, welcoming Bini to the US. But not this group. They demand to know answers, and now. Meanwhile, Ari just sits there, enjoying this interrogation. She's dreamed of this moment for months and here it is.

Love to know what the brother with the weird shaved head does for a living. 

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That boat ride Bilal and Shaeeda took looked like the canal that runs next to an outdoor shopping mall (there is a Hall's Department Store there that I totally enjoyed way too much), my ex boyfriend from 20 years ago used to be head of security there and wound up in that water chasing a shoplifter, oh well, such good times.  Seriously tho, did that boat ever leave the dock? 

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4 hours ago, Breedom said:

I wonder why Ari's parents live in an apartment? He's a doctor, and she is an RN I think. I would think they would be swimming in $$$.

Probably because supporting their Princess/freelance writer is sucking them dry!

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(edited)

I don't understand why Yve and other women on this show date and want to marry Muslim men and then constantly complain about them and their "rules" about dressing modestly and not drinking alcohol, etc. Those are tenets of the religion. If you don't like them there are plenty of Christian, Jewish, Atheist, name your religion, men you can date and marry. It's annoying hearing them bitching and whining about the same thing every season from Memphis to Laura and on and on.

Edited by Matty
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I just watched Bini's conversation with his sisters.  The translation was consistently, "When Ari spilled wine, " not, "When we threw wine in her face."  And the sisters joked that Ari spilled wine because she was drunk, not because she told them that she was happy that she'd never have to see them again.  Bini confided in his sisters that he's apprehensive about meeting Ari's family, because they know all about their difficulties, and they think that he cheated on her.  Bini and his sisters agreed that it would be good if Ari sponsors Bini, even if the relationship falls apart, so that he can stay in the United States.  In his talking head, Bini said that he has to stay with Ari because he lost his first son and doesn't want to lose this family (Ari & Avi).  

If I were the mother of his first child, her husband or the child, I'd be livid about his insincerity and exploitation.  And, he should have fretted about meeting Ari's family to Ari - as if it would have helped - not to his sisters.  Instead, he just let Ari browbeat him into postponing their inevitable bickering about whatever he said in NYC.  For all his pining for his first child, he never brought up actually wanting to contact the child or reuniting with him.  

I didn't have time to ruminate more on how much I dislike this couple and their fake drama, because Bile & Shaeda on the gondola was the next scene.

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8 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

“Freelance writer”/aspiring rapper/model-yacht girl/hopeful MMA fighter = no visible means of support

It also equals Mommy & Daddy pay all the bills.

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12 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Ari: "I'm a freelance writer"

Pepper Mostly: "Meaning she has a blog on WordPress that she hasn't posted on since 2019.

Over on the reddit, I suggested she probably once submitted a BuzzFeed quiz.  

Tell Us What Your Favorite Cheese Is, and We Will Tell You Which Member of OTown You Are. 

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12 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

Having said that, Kobe feeding his son whole peanuts (he said "ground nuts," but the camera shot showed a whole peanut) is a big no-no. At that age, Koban's windpipe is small enough that he could choke to death on one.

I took "ground nut" to mean a type of nut, so I had to look it it up. There are ground nuts and tree nuts, and peanuts are a type of ground nut.

You are so right about young children and nuts. Emily and her mom showed up just in time, which makes me wonder if we are being manipulated again. At any rate, I'm so relieved Koban wasn't fed any of them.

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(edited)
7 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Love to know what the brother with the weird shaved head does for a living. 

Both brothers (Elliott and Bradford) appear to be law school graduates but the one with the weird haircut (Brad) is a realtor. 

Edited by magemaud
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4 hours ago, renatae said:

I took "ground nut" to mean a type of nut, so I had to look it it up. There are ground nuts and tree nuts, and peanuts are a type of ground nut.

You are so right about young children and nuts. Emily and her mom showed up just in time, which makes me wonder if we are being manipulated again. At any rate, I'm so relieved Koban wasn't fed any of them.

Good point about the nuts, he meant grown on the ground, not ground up to small pieces.     That was a big no-no, as a choking hazard.   

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21 hours ago, AR Traveler said:

Kobe/Emily:  Cameroon was a French colony, so the language is probably still spoken there, or it's in books like the picture book.  I thought starting Kovin (or whatever his name is) off in French was very cool; kids pick up a second language quicker than adults.  But no, Mama Emily had to swoop in like a vulture waiting to pounce.  Emily never has anything good to say to Kobe, it's nag, nag, nag and screeching "You're not doing it right!"  Previews have him finally breaking and yelling "Shut the *&^( up!" Glorious.

Being a biracial kid named after a pandemic with a trash bag mother in Salina, KS. He should probably learn how to fight or how to take a beating.

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I haven't watched the whole show so I'm probably missing something, but didn't Kobe say in another episode that he was raised in the English speaking part of Cameroon and that his French was not as good as his English (but hey - it is a lot better than my non-existent French for sure!).

I recently met a woman from Cameroon who is from the French speaking part and all I could think of was random facts that I learn on 90 Day Fiancee...LOL!

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32 minutes ago, RoxiP said:

I recently met a woman from Cameroon who is from the French speaking part and all I could think of was random facts that I learn on 90 Day Fiancee...LOL!

I used to work with international students and faculty at a major university. The one faculty member that I met who was from Cameroon was from the English-speaking part. He also mentioned that there had been clashes between the French speakers and the English speakers.

Me being me, I decided to Google "languages of Cameroon" and...oncoming rabbit hole alert: Don't click on this link if you have someplace to be.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Cameroon

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On 5/28/2022 at 3:09 PM, magemaud said:

I guess you don't have a loyal "squad" who looks out for your best interests while getting a free alcohol-fueled dinner and the chance to be on TV

But is a dinner worth it to go on TV looking like a total jerk?  That's what I don't understand!  How do they get these "friends" to behave like this?  I mean I wouldn't do it for a free meal or $1k or $2k etc.....I am sure when it comes down to it there is a price I would do it at, but 90 days isn't paying that!

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5 minutes ago, Opine said:

But is a dinner worth it to go on TV looking like a total jerk?  That's what I don't understand!  How do they get these "friends" to behave like this?  I mean I wouldn't do it for a free meal or $1k or $2k etc.....I am sure when it comes down to it there is a price I would do it at, but 90 days isn't paying that!

They just want a few minutes of fame (infamy?).

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It just must be me, but if I am able to do something to help someone feel comfortable, I will do it.  Although not mandatory, if I am in an elevator and the other people in it have masks on, I will put mine on to help them feel comfortable.  If I invite my Mormon friends over I will have decaffinated tea/coffee for them and not serve alcohol.  So, if I was going to meet up with a friend and their Muslim significant other, I would wear a top that did not show my breasts.  If I can help someone feel comfortable I choose to do so (and I can go maskless, drink caffeine and alcohol while showing my breasts when they leave...).  Therefore, I just find it rude that people are so "I will do/wear/say what I want" without consideration of others.

And, although it pains me to write it, I believe Mohammed that Yve did agree to not wear a bikini again (and in her interview, the way her eyes shifted immediately after she denied saying such a thing seem to indicate that she was lying).  

And, here's a big idea-if one doesn't care for the expectations/demands of the other person, then don't enter into a relationship with that person.  I think Yve gave assurances to Mohammed due to wanting his young body and is now regretting/denying making those promises.  

So far there isn't anyone in Emily's biological family that I like (well, of those we have seen anyway).  As far as blaming Kobe for Covid's fussiness, I think it's a combination of the helicoptering of Emily's family along with all of the lights, cameras, and personnel of the filming crew (that would make me a bit fussy as well).

And I just can't believe how many people are willing to be filmed being rude, dismissive, and worst just to be on t.v.  Not only the participants and their families, but friends/acquaintances/etc. that are so willing to go along with these stories for a moment of fame/infamy.  

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(edited)
19 hours ago, Matty said:

I don't understand why Yve and other women on this show date and want to marry Muslim men and then constantly complain about them and their "rules" about dressing modestly and not drinking alcohol, etc. Those are tenets of the religion. If you don't like them there are plenty of Christian, Jewish, Atheist, name your religion, men you can date and marry. It's annoying hearing them bitching and whining about the same thing every season from Memphis to Laura and on and on.

THIS.

Like Yve, I don't want my husband to have say over what I wear...which is why I specifically married a man who doesn't want any say over what I wear.

It feels like sometimes the U.S. half of these couples expect their intendeds to change into different people as soon as they set foot onto the vaunted shores of America, like they'll shuck their cultures and religions completely.

Edited by the-grey-lady
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On 5/30/2022 at 1:43 PM, Breedom said:

Perhaps you can take some time otherwise spent putting your makeup on to look to see what fun and interesting  things you can do in SD.

It looks like she sits in front of the mirror ALL DAY! 

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18 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

All I can think of when I look at Miona is traction alopecia, from that supertight pony tail, and how cold she's going to be in a South Dakota winter.    

Who would think 60 years later young women would want to look like Granny Clampett?

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