S04.E01: Who Doesn't Like Thirds?

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

The Davises and the Foleys each navigate their way through the many trials and tribulations of polygamy with the ultimate goal of bringing in a new sister wife. The Merrifields haven't seen Roberta in over a year and have decided to seek a third.

Original air date 2022.06.06

[xwordfanatik]

I'm looking forward to snarking with everyone watching this crapfest!

[Maybeitsme]

What fresh hell is this?

[Maybeitsme]

Nobody watching? I am and I see you Danielle 😆 

[Shmoopaloop]

So wait a minute, Nick stays home and reads all day? These men are terribly creepy. I feel bad for the kids in these families. 

[Cancun]

It seems like Danielle is pushing Garrick for a third wife, only because she knows that will knock Roberta off the “special” block. Great way to stick it to old’ Bert. It makes me sick how they openly talk of Garrick making babies with Bert  in front of those poor boys. Worst parents ever.

Garrick seems to have aged a lot - tired, slouchy, hairline receding  On the other hand, Dannielle is blossoming.

[CSunshine76]

Nick and his two wives. What the hell?! They all sleep in the same bed. The two ladies work so that he can read and research all day? The two ladies are married to each other, and I assume neither ever married Nick? What on earth do they get out of this relationship? And the older wife claimed they made “plenty” of money on their own, yet mentioned they live in the smallest possible house.  Something is fishy with their story! Dude creeped me the hell out. Yuck.

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Shmoopaloop said:

So wait a minute, Nick stays home and reads all day?

Well, he not only reads, he THINKS! Then he launches into a big discussion about quantum physics while his two wives look on adoringly and smile and nod like he’s Einstein. 

[South]

I had a feeling that another season was on its way, as I’ve noticed reruns lately of last season.  I tried to be strong by not seek any information about the beginning of said new season.  Then tonight, it found me.  I flipped to TLC just to see what was going on before I turned off the tv for the night.  There it was with 15 stinking minutes left, and I was re-hooked.  I’ll watch the full episode tomorrow to see what I missed.   Soooo.  Yes!  Dddanniellle looked fabulous.  I didn’t really notice the dirtbag because my eyes were on her.  The new couple featured towards the end?  I didn’t catch their names.  I have about 15 questions about them, and tomorrow evening I’ll likely have 25 more.  The more I watch, the less I understand.   Not slamming plural marriage, at least not here, but the folks on this show always seem particularly ill-prepared, to say it as nicely as I might.  Thus ensuring TLCs continued place on our screens.

Oh Lordy, I just reread the earlier comments.  I have a feeling I’m going to loooove Nick.  

[BAForever]

I'm in 100%. It's a guilty pleasure I save for the weekend. It replaces "Unexpected", my former guilty pleasure. Garrick is a pig. No Snowdens or Johnny Depp wanna-be Sidian?

[suzeecat]

It was driving me crazy who Nick's younger, um, pal? reminded me of.  I finally got it - Laraine Newman from her SNL days. 

Edited June 7, 2022 by suzeecat

[Spectator]

Good for Danielle! Weirdly, I totally see her point - three wives is way better for her than two since she was clearly the odd woman out in the Bert/Garrick/Danielle trio. I really wish she’d just leave this turd and find a guy who cherishes her and only her, but if she’s determined to stay, this plan definitely gives her a lot more of the power back.

[Madding crowd]

I think Garrick isn’t having sex with Bert very often since she hasn’t moved yet so he is trying to find someone else to have sex with. The stay at home dad guy with the two women who work and probably do all the cooking and cleaning has a great set up for himself.

The guy with the boat ( forgot his name) was attractive and it would seem like he is the type to want a trophy wife in a bikini. Instead he has one plain looking wife and looking at another plain woman in a mumu. All of these women seem desperate to have a man and the men just want sex with somebody new. Don’t believe a single one of these guys have spiritual reasons for polygamy.

[candall]

Wow, that was quite a lot of gristle to process.

Nick did everything but wink-wink at the camera to show us he is well aware of the cozy catbird seat he has landed in.  Two women tucked in next to him every night, praising him, giving him sex whenever he wants, both going off to work every day to bring home the paychecks.  And they seem to adore him!

I grudgingly want to say "more power to you, buddy" since it looks like it works for everyone, but then of course he has to be a greedy pig and add a little fresh strange into the mix.  This fragile tower of marbles is about to come crashing down around them all.

(I smirked when Nick gave his prayer "in our name."  It's supposed to be "in God's name," doofy.)

#############

Another season of horseface Gareth mentally abusing Danielle.  Blerg.  Well, I guess it could be worse--it could be the Snowdons.

I notice Danielle got in a couple of jabs, though.  She pointed out that Gareth had been unable to impregnate Roberta and then later, she referred to Gareth's "giggle."  Danielle has acquired some sniper moves.

[Adeejay]

So let me see if I understand this. April and Jennifer are married to each other.  Their “husband” short, ugly, skinny Nick doesn’t have to work because he is a trophy husband?!  It would be one thing if he was easy on the eyes, but he clearly isn’t. Gee, I wonder what he brings to the table. 

That Roberta has her visa and still hasn’t come to the US, tells me that she probably changed her mind about being in a plural marriage with the Merryfields.  Someone should probably tell Dannielle what happened with Meri Brown after she suggested that her husband take another wife. 

 I hate to admit it, but Steve is cute.  I can well imagine the number of women who will be trying to get with him. 

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

Oh boy, I had hoped Dannielle would have wised up and left that fool. I totally think she is ok with the 3rd wife just to make Bert jealous and I am here for it. The dude with the two wives now is out on a date with a 22 year old wearing a too tight dress for her portly body..lawd, plus they all sleep in the same bed?  That is creepy. The other guy, Steve? I really want to know why the 1st wife left and why did he choose this lady over his actual wife of 12 years? He is also "dating" a 21 or 22 year old who isn't the least bit attractive. The previews look like a dumpster fire and I am giddy

[TooMuchRealityTV]

So Danielle is hopping on board the 3rd wife train to watch Bert be as tortured as she was watching Garrick and Bert last season, right? Nothing says functional plural marriage like suggesting a 3rd wife to upset the 2nd wife.

And Nick, I sort of admire the game here. He found two women who expect nothing of him other than sex and conversation. They even take on all the bills so he can do nothing all day. I mean, hell, he may have stumbled upon the perfect life.

[EtheltoTillie]

How did I miss this premiere?  Must catch up on demand.  

[vintagesac]

Danielle is LOVING hearing that Bert is very insecure and jealous about the search for a third wife 😆

That little man who stays at home while his wives work is so funny. I’m glad they enjoy his telling them what he learned in sixth grade when his moms get home. 

[xwordfanatik]

Ick clearly gets off on making Danniele miserable and jealous.  And now, the joke is on Bert, only being #2 in a lineup of dumb fameho women that he expects to fall at his ugly feet.  

Nick has it made in the shade.  So why does he insist it's not an "open" relationship when he's free to bring in another fool to support his quasi-intellectual do-nothing life?  Dude thinks he's all that, and I beg to differ.

Dumpster fire, gotta love watching these delusional fools.

[Kerrey92]

How are going to fit that third “wife” in their bed?   Weird set up and weird family. 

Danielle is getting her revenge on poor little Bert isn’t she?   Way to put the cart before the horse talking marriage to someone they met online THREE weeks ago!   Yikes.  

[deirdra]

19 hours ago, Shmoopaloop said:

So wait a minute, Nick stays home and reads all day? These men are terribly creepy.

Apparently he reads, thinks, and loads the dishwasher while the women work all day and come home and make dinner and clean the house, yet they all think he is the ideal "house husband".  Slacker!

Steve got the strawberry shortcake AND the whip cream, but what did his wife of 12 years get? Bupkis!

Edited June 7, 2022 by deirdra

[deirdra]

8 hours ago, suzeecat said:

It was driving me crazy who Nick's younger, um, pal? reminded me of.  I finally got it - Laraine Newman from her SNL days. 

Ha ha!  I was wondering who she reminded me of and it's Laraine!

[LEILANI2]

Danielle has glowed up. I think she secretly hates him now. Love the jabs about his height insecurity and everything else. I hope she ends up leaving him. She can do better then ICK.

Roberta isn't looking as cute and young now that she has her braces off.

The other couples I'm gonna need a minute digest everything going on but I'm glad this show is back.

[waterytart]

Oh trashy goodness, how I've missed you! Can't wait to see everyone's take and wondering what on earth Lea sees in Garrick. (Or anybody for that matter.)

[SilverLake0315]

11 hours ago, BAForever said:

No Snowdens or Johnny Depp wanna-be Sidian?

The Snowdens imploded. Majorly. 

Emo-wannabe Sidian is part of this season, he just wasn’t in the premiere. From the “this season on”, it looks like there’s at least one other family that also wasn’t in the first ep. 

I am HERE for Dannielle’s subterfuge 👏🏻

[EtheltoTillie]

The Icks are living in a motor home!  His family tossed them out.  I guess Bert didn’t get pregnant from that last visit. 

What’s with this guy Nick and his family. The first woman knew him in college but she had a kid with someone else. What’s that about?  They just spouted a lot of word salad. 

[toomuchtv]

This whole show is just so crazy but Danielle is definitely pushing a third wife to stick it to Roberta. I found it odd that they were meeting this potential third they knew online for a whole three weeks, but made it sound like so much longer. Makes it seem like the show approached them with another season and they said oh shit we need to find a third who will do the show for us and this is the first person who said yes

24 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

The Icks are living in a motor home!  His family tossed them out.  I guess Bert didn’t get pregnant from that last visit. 

What’s with this guy Nick and his family. The first woman knew him in college but she had a kid with someone else. What’s that about?  They just spouted a lot of word salad. 

And she was in her mid 30s I think it said, but Nick looks older to me. I missed where/when wife #2 came in

[HorrrGoodnight]

Nick is a 'stay at home dad'? To ONE grown ass boy?? And the wives who work are still cooking and cleaning??? What in the low self esteem is going on here... Jesus be some spanx! 

[princelina]

10 hours ago, Adeejay said:

So let me see if I understand this. April and Jennifer are married to each other.  Their “husband” short, ugly, skinny Nick doesn’t have to work because he is a trophy husband?!  It would be one thing if he was easy on the eyes, but he clearly isn’t. Gee, I wonder what he brings to the table. 

Weren't you listening - he thinks about things and then shares his thoughts 😂😂😂

2 hours ago, waterytart said:

Oh trashy goodness, how I've missed you! Can't wait to see everyone's take and wondering what on earth Lea sees in Garrick. (Or anybody for that matter.)

Bert wanted to move to the US (or thought she did).  Lea wants to be on tv.  I too am a huge fan of the revenge Dannielle is taking this year!  I wonder if anyone is going to mention that since Bert is part of their "family"  she should have a say in other wives?

1 hour ago, toomuchtv said:

And she was in her mid 30s I think it said, but Nick looks older to me. I missed where/when wife #2 came in

Wife #1 was 36 and wife #2 was 24.  They claimed that 1 met 2 at work and brought her into the "family".  Now 1 has met and brought in #3 - she's like the dude's pimp in addition to everything else 😂 

ETA:  the best thing Mr P and I did a few years was upgrade to a king size bed!  And if a third person tried to climb in there with us there'd be trouble and she'd be kicked right back out!  That's why I have trouble believing all these stories 😄

Edited June 8, 2022 by princelina

[CSunshine76]

10 hours ago, candall said:

(I smirked when Nick gave his prayer "in our name."  It's supposed to be "in God's name,"

YES! What was that?! I assumed they have their own “religion”? Strange!!

[CSunshine76]

50 minutes ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Nick is a 'stay at home dad'? To ONE grown ass boy?? And the wives who work are still cooking and cleaning??? What in the low self esteem is going on here... Jesus be some spanx! 

A grown ass boy, who 1) is not his and 2) could not be bothered to say one word on camera!  Nick has to stay at home to read and think and pontificate! For the good of us all, clearly! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[South]

Okay.  After catching the final 15 minutes of this gem last night, I have now watched it in full.  Good glory!  Nick, our deep thinker, and his family will be interesting.  I saw a few of you mention that the women also do the cooking and cleaning.  Are you guessing that’s the case or did they actually say so?  I didn’t catch it either way.  There was a clip of him washing dishes.  I saw one of the wives walk over to stir a pot, but that doesn’t mean “cooking” to me.  His young, prospective 3rd?  Hmmm.  Nick likes that she is a skeptical thinker.  I wonder if he meant that she is a critical thinker.  If that’s the case, then I need to help him out.  “Nope, Nick.  She ain’t one.  She ain’t one of those.”  If he thinks being critical is impressive, then I need to tell him “Nick.  She’s what, 21?  Maybe she just doesn’t understand how things work, how life functions, and you’re mistaking her criticism for discernment.”  
Boat Boy.  Didn’t catch his name, but I have a feeling he’d like “Boat Boy” just fine.  When he compared two thinking (?) functioning human beings to shortcake, strawberries and whipped cream… I knew that BB had risen to the top of his earthly arc.  Good for you, ya wackadoo.  You’re on TLC.

Ddddd and Garrick.  I love that Ddddd has found her voice.  Her diggy, snarky, plotting voice.  I really do think that a 3rd wife will both make her situation easier as well as make Bert miserable.  The bestest part is G will probably be a wreck worrying about Bert’s state of mind, as he really doesn’t seem over the moon about a 3rd right now.  Never mind that when Ddddd expressed jealous thoughts last season, he told her to “suck it up, lady.  God’s a-talkin to me about poontang” when she had this crap sprung on her after years of marriage.  B, who entered into this wreck of her own choosing, is being given so much more consideration than Ddddd ever was.

One final question, at the end, did Lea (?) say something about her relationship with Bert getting off on the wrong foot?  If so, does that mean that they’ve been chatting?  I remember Dimitri and Hellcat had two hopefuls chatting amongst themselves before meeting the Snowdens.  I fear that if B is commiserating with L, and G is whimpering about and sighing heavily, that L might decide to not rock the boat and just go home.  Then Ddddd is back to being the odd wife out.

[South]

The Winders?  Where are those voices of reason and authenticity?  I hope they are returning for a check-in.

[EtheltoTillie]

Loved how many times Dannielle repeated that Bert was jealous. 

[South]

1 minute ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Loved how many times Dannielle repeated that Bert was jealous. 

That could be the start of a very satisfying drinking game.

[SilverLake0315]

4 hours ago, South said:

The Winders?  Where are those voices of reason and authenticity?  I hope they are returning for a check-in.

They aren’t part of the show anymore 😕

[heatherchandler]

On 6/7/2022 at 12:15 PM, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

Oh boy, I had hoped Dannielle would have wised up and left that fool. I totally think she is ok with the 3rd wife just to make Bert jealous and I am here for it. The dude with the two wives now is out on a date with a 22 year old wearing a too tight dress for her portly body..lawd, plus they all sleep in the same bed?  That is creepy. The other guy, Steve? I really want to know why the 1st wife left and why did he choose this lady over his actual wife of 12 years? He is also "dating" a 21 or 22 year old who isn't the least bit attractive. The previews look like a dumpster fire and I am giddy

I've never seen a gut like that on a 22 year old.  

Dating the dude who sits at home and reads and then explains various topics to his wife(s)... I am BEYOND excited for this season.

[South]

7 hours ago, SilverLake0315 said:

They aren’t part of the show anymore 😕

Oh.  I guess that makes sense, though.  Thanks for the update SILVERLAKE.

[Shauna]

On 6/7/2022 at 9:51 AM, candall said:

I notice Danielle got in a couple of jabs, though.  She pointed out that Gareth had been unable to impregnate Roberta and then later, she referred to Gareth's "giggle."  Danielle has acquired some sniper moves.

Don't forget about Gareth's hang up about his height.  Danielle was sure to mention that.

[princelina]

18 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

A grown ass boy, who 1) is not his and 2) could not be bothered to say one word on camera!  Nick has to stay at home to read and think and pontificate! For the good of us all, clearly! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

In fairness to the boy - he is not obligated to bother to entertain us just because his mom's a wacko.  I hate when unfulfilled adults who are finally getting their 15 minutes of fame on TLC (or Bravo!) drag their clearly unwilling kids into it.  

14 hours ago, South said:

Okay.  After catching the final 15 minutes of this gem last night, I have now watched it in full.  Good glory!  Nick, our deep thinker, and his family will be interesting.  I saw a few of you mention that the women also do the cooking and cleaning.  Are you guessing that’s the case or did they actually say so?  I didn’t catch it either way.  

Yes - they said having more cooks and cleaners is a perk of having multiple wives 😄

[South]

33 minutes ago, princelina said:

In fairness to the boy - he is not obligated to bother to entertain us just because his mom's a wacko.  I hate when unfulfilled adults who are finally getting their 15 minutes of fame on TLC (or Bravo!) drag their clearly unwilling kids into it.  

Yes - they said having more cooks and cleaners is a perk of having multiple wives 😄

Thanks, Princelina.  I reckon my brain was protecting me from processing that nugget last night.

[waterytart]

18 hours ago, South said:

Boat Boy.  Didn’t catch his name, but I have a feeling he’d like “Boat Boy” just fine.  When he compared two thinking (?) functioning human beings to shortcake, strawberries and whipped cream… I knew that BB had risen to the top of his earthly arc.  Good for you, ya wackadoo.  You’re on TLC.

🤣 🤣🤣

[xwordfanatik]

Yeah, Steve the Stud didn't impress me, either.  He's way too full of himself, shades of Dimitri.  

These polygamist wannabes seem to gravitate to women that are barely old enough to drink.  Well, a lot of them, anyway.

[Morgalisa]

Danielle lightened her hair and got some new tatas.  She is pulling a Mary Brown. I think the new wife will be fodder. Bert  is his Robin. He still has the hots for her. Poor Danielle is always going to be odd woman out.

[anoninrva]

9 hours ago, Morgalisa said:

Danielle lightened her hair and got some new tatas.  She is pulling a Mary Brown. I think the new wife will be fodder. Bert  is his Robin. He still has the hots for her. Poor Danielle is always going to be odd woman out.

She looked better as a brunette.  Arguably, redhead.  I hadn't noticed the tatas.  Perhaps that explains the haltertop for family dinner.  Yuck.

[princelina]

I also thought botox and a few makeup lessons.  She should take advice from Boat Boy's first wife and hit the road.  They're already divorced!

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Finally got a chance to watch.  Oh yes, the rolling dumpster fire is back aflame!

Nick, Jennifer, and April, seriously.  Why are both April and Jennifer in tears talking about how Nick stays home and does all of the heavy thinking to let them know life will be good?  Then Nick gives them his freshman year, I did part of the reading assigned for week three explanation of quantum physics.  Wait until he makes it to chapter five!  Their minds will be blown! 

Nick met April when she was in college.  She already had a young child.  She is now 36; April is 24.  I can see no appeal to Nick. Zero.  When his wives are saying how great he looks dressed  up for his date, all I see is a well pressed shirt that is much too big for him.  He looks more like a child dressed up for school photo who hasn't grown into his dress shirt yet and unbuttoned it as soon as he could. Then I saw his date, one-N Danielle, and decided he can wear whatever he wants.  The fashion choices on this show. 😬

Garrick and two-N Dannielle are back!  And they haven't seen Bert in over a year!  I had forgotten the picture of Garrick with Bert where it looks like Garrick picked up some glasses from The Golden Girls set.  Leah is beautiful, artistic, has a solid career as a nurse --  WhyTF get involved with this clan? 

Boat boy's strawberry shortcake analogy did not seem to play well with his wife.  His wife is talking about her concerns about aging.  Maybe since boat boy ended the day bright red he might want to look into some sunscreen too.   

[TLoez88]

I'm curious if anyone else saw the trailer to episode 2? Am I the only one livid with Steve telling Brenda he'll protect this new woman over his wife?

[Pepper Mostly]

On 6/8/2022 at 2:17 PM, heatherchandler said:

I've never seen a gut like that on a 22 year old.  

Dating the dude who sits at home and reads and then explains various topics to his wife(s)... I am BEYOND excited for this season.

Oh, my peeps, we are in for a wild ride! 

My question, who gave Nick his allowance for his date? 

Nick's date. Oy. He talked her up as an "old soul" who was thoughtful and deep. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh dear sweet little tap dancing baby Jesus, how I laughed. She looked like she was struggling to keep up with Nick's conversation seconds after they got past "hello". I'm just.....I can't. They are all going to be a glorious train wreck and I am here for it. 

Oh, and they're poly, right? I mean, they're calling it sister wives and polygamy, but they are totally polyamorous. Sleeping in the same bed? The women are married to each other? They're not fooling anyone. They want Nick to date so they can have a little girl time. 

I love how Nick can barely stuff the canary wings in his mouth when he talks about being a house husband who "reads" and "thinks" while the women work. He'd love to add another woman income to the mix. Bet he finds all kinds of interesting conspiracy theories on the internets while they toil.  I bet he watched "Plandemic" and thought it made a lot of sense. And thinks Elvis is still alive, pumping gas in Duluth. 

Loving the new snarky Dannnnnnnnielle. Didn't take long for her to figure out how to get the upper hand and rule the roost. Though of course its crazy unhealthy and she should just take her kids and get the hell out. She hates Bert. She's hanging in just to watch Bert go down in flames. 

Boat Boy and his perpetual shirtless state. Hoo boy. And a shiny quarter says they're poly too. He thinks he's really a catch.