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S09.E01: Ketchup To My Mustard


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Divorced dad Bilal plans to test his fiancee when she arrives; Kara heads to the Dominican Republic to pick up her young beau, Guillermo; Jibri hopes to sway his Serbian love to stay in his hometown; Emily welcomes Kobe to meet their son.

Brand new season. Brand new possibilities.  Let the snark begin!

First Look: 4/15/22; Full Episodes: TLC: 4/17/22; Discovery+: 4/17/22

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What I gathered from the preview.

Bilal. The whole OCD thing has to be for the camera. If the dude lives alone, who would mess his house? It doesn't even look like he has the kids around all that much as kids would have toys, drawings, etc. The fiancé isn't a yoga instructor but a wannabe model or insta influencer I am betting.  I feel that  bougie will be on my bingo card.  The prenush for these guys will be the main storyline with the fiancé being shown as a "gold digger" angle. 

Kara the balloon lady. Do not tell me she doesn't have a van for god's sake. And I can tell she wants to be a wanna be influencer or breakout star as well.

Jibri can't say much at this time.  

Emily needs to learn the words prophylactic and contraceptives.

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I don't know anyone's names yet.

Real estate developer guy has a smart ex-wife. He sees himself as bougie? The fiance has to know he has some financial means. Unless he got a cheap travel wardrobe to disguise who he is. The thing is, some gold diggers are very good at digging. They will be sweet and play the long con but they can sense you have money. Some gold diggers are not. If you think you will attract one, you will. When she sees his home, his real clothes, etc., will she be shocked or play along? Doubt she also wants the smallish town life and wants the creature comforts of the big city. Not sure she is a yoga instructor, either. Probably has some influencer type angle.

The balloon lady who found a guy in the Caribbean? Uh, he is 23 years old now. Maybe a little young for you. Expect him to act immaturely. The only bonus is that she got to work down there for several months. Sometimes the bartender just meets a pretty girl and that's it.

Don't know much about the South Dakota guy. Missed the other lady. We got some glimpses of the new folks, including one of Bini's friends throwing wine in Ari's face. 

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1 hour ago, greekmom said:

It doesn't even look like he has the kids around all that much as kids would have toys, drawings, etc.

They’re 16 and 13.

Guillermo reminds me of Daniel from that Caribbean spin-off and not just because they are both from Venezuela.  He must really want a green card because that chick gives me annoying Ari vibes.

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4 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

We got some glimpses of the new folks, including one of Bini's friends throwing wine in Ari's face

I predict that scene will be repeated over and over and I will LOVE it EVERY...DAMN...TIME! 

 

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17 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Guillermo reminds me of Daniel from that Caribbean spin-off and not just because they are both from Venezuela.  He must really want a green card because that chick gives me annoying Ari vibes.

I'm getting more Stephanie (of Ryan and) vibes from her but it sure is creepy how she keeps referring to him as a "beautiful boy." 

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So far, I like Bilal and I really like his ex-wife.  That means there's something horribly wrong with him somewhere.   Frozen is right; sometimes you can sense money even in someone wearing grubs.  Just his body language alone says "money".  We know little of the fiance yet, and frankly, so does he.  

I have a balloon phobia, a very real thing.  I am literally terrified of balloons.  So Kara's room would be the nightmare to end all nightmares.  I'll have to FF any time a balloon enters the picture.  Anyway, she's a hard 29 dating a now 23 year-old?  Just as the wise Frozen pointed out, he's not going to be on her level of maturity.  Yes, she worked down there, but I suspect much of their time was spent frolicking on the beach or in bed.  She gives me vibes of that pretty blonde who went down to Jamaica and brought back her fling (can't remember his name either) to Pennsylvania.  Then she was all shocked that he turned into a playboy.   That same outcome here won't surprise me one iota.

Agreed that 15 seconds of Patrick was 14 too many.  I christen thee Colt 2.0 and this season's biggest jackalope (so far).

I thought it was Bini's sister who threw the wine, but no matter, Ari has had it coming for what, two years?  The only one I feel for is their son.  Bini must be wondering if a fling was worth all this drama.

The rest of these nincompoops I'll just have to subject myself to tomorrow night.

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1 hour ago, AR Traveler said:

I thought it was Bini's sister who threw the wine,

Yes, it was, only I don't remember whether it was Wish or Mimi. (WHY on earth do I remember their names?) 

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@AR Traveler, it is more of a case of to thine own self be true. Don’t pretend to be poor when you are rich. People who are not rich can buy nice things from eBay or outlet stores. Be honest with your prospective partner.

23 years old is a bit young to settle down with anyone for all the days of your lives. Lots of life experiences to experience. Sure, the guy may have been out on his own since 17 years old. The girl may be less mature and have less life experience than him. A lot of these marriage are starters and the couple will wake up a couple of years later having no idea who they are or who they are married to. It is a cynical view. Give it another couple of years and then settle down.

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Bilal is approaching Libby 2.0 territory with his self-declared & self-defined bougie-ness and real estate developer/agent labels.  He is so pleased  with his introduction of dichotomies; he's so deep.

Kara and Guillermo may be the same age intellectually.  I suspect that her foreign careers were on cruise ships.  She was the model for all her promotional shots of balloon wreaths, and they were taken around her home.

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6 hours ago, Welshman in Ca said:

This is what Easter has come to................. Happy Easter everyone.

 

 

image.png

This my friends is what we call nightmare fuel...

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I was on Team Bilal until his final sequence: I HATE HATE HATE people who deliberately deceive their friends or loved ones with the justification of "I was testing you." Well guess what, jackass? I was testing you as well: I was testing to see if you could treat me honestly. You failed.

Emily and her father were both making excellent points at the dinner table: No, Emily hasn't been around Kobe enough to know if he's the one she should marry, but Emily's mom and dad became engaged after they'd known each other for all of a month, so these kinds of snap marriages can work. As for Emily's mom bod: I'm sure Kobe's seen her naked via IM a time or ten since they've been apart.

Emily and her family live in Salina, Kansas. True story: My best friend was doing temporary consulting work in nearby Hutchinson, Kansas, back in the fall of 2008. One of the locals asked him what he thought of the Presidential race. Not wanting to get involved too much, he just mentioned that he had attended Columbia University when Barack Obama was an undergrad there, although they didn't know each other. Within a day, people around town were calling him a "n----- lover" and he had to leave the area early. No joke. Oh, and people told him they never went to Kansas City because "It's not safe because that's where the n-----s are." Unless that area of Kansas has seriously changed in the last 13 years, they aren't going to like Kobe at all.

Jibri: Your lady is ALREADY TELLING YOU she doesn't want to live in South Dakota. Believe her. And good luck getting a regular job with those neck tattoos.

As a poster above said, anyone hauling around balloons for a living should be driving either a SUV or a truck with a canopy.

Edited by Sir RaiderDuck OMS
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18 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

@AR Traveler, it is more of a case of to thine own self be true. Don’t pretend to be poor when you are rich. People who are not rich can buy nice things from eBay or outlet stores. Be honest with your prospective partner.

 

 

1 hour ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

I was on Team Bilal until his final sequence: I HATE HATE HATE people who deliberately deceive their friends or loved ones with the justification of "I was testing you." Well guess what, jackass? I was testing you as well: I was testing to see if you could treat me honestly. You failed.

 

You both make an excellent point I hadn't thought of immediately.  Be honest from go about who and  what you are.  Any relationship begun otherwise is a relationship built on the sand of a lie.

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On 4/15/2022 at 11:10 PM, Frozendiva said:

Don't know much about the South Dakota guy. Missed the other lady. We got some glimpses of the new folks, including one of Bini's friends throwing wine in Ari's face. 

I don't get the impression he really likes girls.  His mom, though, I will happily watch. I can't wait to see the sparks fly between her and the fiance.

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The first episode and I already don’t like Bilal and Kobe.  That Bilal is testing Shaeeda by pulling a prank, is a huge red flag. He is clearly insecure if he feels that women are only with him for his money.    

Two of Emily's ex-boyfriends are currently incarcerated, and her baby daddy is an a-hole. I want to feel sorry for her parents, but it’s clear that they are too lenient with her. There is no way in hell my husband and I would be taking care of our daughter, our grandbaby, and the baby daddy.    

Kara looks way older than Guillermo.  Jibri and Kardashian wannabe, Miona are DOA.

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4 minutes ago, renatae said:

I can attest to this. My mom and dad met in an Army hospital; she was his nurse and they married six months later and were together 49 years before he died. My husband and I knew each other six months before we married; my parents couldn't object on that count, lol. Fifty-two years in June. :)

My husband and I met in January, were engaged in February and married in October.  Three of the months in between, I was in China (this was set up before we even met).  I got some "Are you sure?" but it's 25 years this October :).

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Now I really see where you're coming from, those who saw more of the preview and the prank.  A prank like Bilal's would see me going back home, and justifiably so.   Now I also see where I think his OCD comes from.  He's so insecure about where he came from and who he is that he has to make the outside perfect.  No disorder allowed.  Nothing is allowed to intrude and remind him of that boy he used to be and the inner turmoil I think he denies to himself now.

I already don't like Kobe and he isn't even in that little house yet.  No way would my husband and I take on supporting Emily, the baby, and Kobe (don't know if sister works; she seems more practical and settled.  Also don't  know if Mom works). If I were Grandma, I'd watch the baby while Emily got a job,  and then I'd go to my job.  And Kobe would be working at something-anything-ASAP.   And why do I get the vibe that Baby #2 is going to show up?

Jibri and Miona:  This has crash and burn written all over it, but I'd gladly watch an entire season of Jibri's wonderful parents.  However, I think they let Jibri go way too wacky, and now he doesn't have a marketable skill nor an appearance that would impress many employers, especially in conservative South Dakota.  Doesn't anyone realize that being a successful musician is very difficult and so have a plan B?  

Kara and Guillermo: There's already a "Mommy" vibe in their relationship.  The "beautiful boy" thing is jarring.  So is her reminding him of this and that, telling him what to do, and of course going down there (at her expense) to bring him back, as if she can't trust him to figure it out.  I also agree that 23 is pretty young for marriage.  You change a whole heck of a lot between 20 and 25 (I did).  How compatible are they now, and what happens when he really does mature?

 

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Yay, a new shitshow to watch!

Emily's sing-song voice drove me nuts, all the inflection in the wrong place. It made her sound even more immature than she really is. Her parents are sponsoring Kobe, obviously, and they will end up with, not just the baby to take care of but their adult child and her husband, who is, as one poster mentioned above, not likely to find many friends in the area. Ugh.

Bilal is coming over as douchey, although this may well be a producer-driven storyline about the 'test' for his fiancee. She looks beautiful. His ex-wife is great.

Jibri is a hot mess of a child. I liked his parents, although the mother's hairstyle was horrendous. His fiancee is going to lose her shit living in Nowhere, ND.

The ones I hold out most hope for are Kara and Guillermo. They've actually lived together for an extended period of time, rather than just had a couple of vacations together. Yes, he is young, but it's not like the age gap is 20 years or anything. I think they could work, and the previews for the 'cheating' storyline are there to create drama.

I do not want to see any more of Bini and whats-her-face. The other guy they showed looks like Prime DoucheBro. Bring it on!

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2 hours ago, essexjan said:

The ones I hold out most hope for are Kara and Guillermo. They've actually lived together for an extended period of time, rather than just had a couple of vacations together. Yes, he is young, but it's not like the age gap is 20 years or anything. I think they could work, and the previews for the 'cheating' storyline are there to create drama.

I do not want to see any more of Bini and whats-her-face. The other guy they showed looks like Prime DoucheBro. Bring it on!

Kara and Guillermo seem to genuinely love each other, which is oddly unusual for this show.  Her behavior seems a bit on the neurotic side, and the "beautiful boy" stuff does creep me out a bit.  But I'd agree, so far, they look like the most viable couple.

Couldn't agree more about Arielle.

5 hours ago, AR Traveler said:

Jibri and Miona:  This has crash and burn written all over it, but I'd gladly watch an entire season of Jibri's wonderful parents.  However, I think they let Jibri go way too wacky, and now he doesn't have a marketable skill nor an appearance that would impress many employers, especially in conservative South Dakota.  Doesn't anyone realize that being a successful musician is very difficult and so have a plan B?  

You mean you don't think ClownPunk is going to be the next new trend?  He's a quirky guy.  I don't see him making enough money to live the lifestyle she wants in LA period.  Hopefully, they don't take the plunge and end up in an RV on the side of the road.

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9 hours ago, AR Traveler said:

My husband and I met in January, were engaged in February and married in October.  Three of the months in between, I was in China (this was set up before we even met).  I got some "Are you sure?" but it's 25 years this October :).

I worked a year with my future husband, and then he asked me out. Five weeks later was his proposal, with our wedding 4 months later. Lasted 40 years, 363 days. 

Topic: I really like Guillermo and hope he doesn't have his spirit or his heart broken. As for Balloon Dame: Shoving balloons into a car?! That's for us Normals buying a birthday balloon from the Dollar Tree!

Soja Boy.2. He sure likes his crazy fashions! I think he has a few closets.

Big Mama with the sensible Dad: Don't get your hopes up for Kobe. After two years? And with his adding to that crowd in your house? Nope. 

 

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1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Dippy Kansas chick who likes "bad boys". Sigh. I have a lot of thoughts. I'm sure her parents have been in despair since 2008. She was a "party girl". At least two of her exes are in jail. She was stupid enough to get knocked up by her vacation boy toy. Lets just say she doesn't strike me as a person who makes good decisions. 

Other than birth control, I don't know how many other poor decisions she's demonstrated.  Her beau seems to be very invested in being a father, which is admirable to me.  I'm sure there will be manufactured drama, but they seem more equal than most of the couples on this show.

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59 minutes ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Does Bilal think they don’t have Google Maps in Trinidad? Has he blocked his fiancée on all social media? His prank is so last century.

Bilal is just another 90day asswipe who thinks he's the greatest thing ever because he made a little money. Never start a relationship with lies, it's just downhill from there. I don't think she has any idea what she's letting herself in for and hopefully the ex wife is honest with her.

I like Kara and Guillermo, she is a little too controlling for my tastes but cute and he seems to let her be controlling and take over, less for him to do. Pretty sure her middle name is Karen,she seems to think she can go and sort out any immigration problems he may have by asking to see the manager. I have hope but I'm sure they will disappoint as most on this show do. 

The dippy Kansas chick just thinks she's clever. The smirk on her face when explaining that 2 of her exes were incarcerated told me all I needed to know about her. She's crying out for attention from her parents & thinks this would be the best way to get it.

 

As for Jibri & Miona she's a wannabe kardashian & while his look may make him stand out in South Dakota he will just be another tatooed, bleached blond bum in LA and he will find it difficult to adjust to being just another weirdo in a city full of weirdos.

Edited by Welshman in Ca
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Jibri thinks he needs just “one hit song” and he will be able to provide for Miona. That sounds like every broke gambler who just needs one run of luck to be in the clear.

I already feel sorry for Jibri’s and KS party girl’s (Emily?) parents. 

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I'm wondering what caused Bilal's divorce?  Did his wife step away from the faith (I noted she wasn't wearing any hair covering (although she was in their wedding picture).  I'm not sure what the rules are, but I see that his sister had her hair covered and it is obvious his new fiancee covers her hair also (and that woman is beautiful in my opinion).  Also his daughter did not have her hair covered.  Or did his OCD drive her completely crazy?

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So much to say about this new batch of delusional lovebirds. Hey Emily, birth control, have you heard of it? Off she goes to China, meets an "international underwear model", sleeps with him and gets pregnant all in a matter of weeks. Not a care in the world. Emily, you created a living, breathing human being with someone you just met. Are you thinking about the gravity of the situation? Of course not. Just go home to Mom and Dad in Kansas, live with them, have the baby, bring the "international underwear model" over to the US and decide what to do then. Wow. Amazing. I can't even.

Miona, you will not live the "Kardashian lifestyle" in South Dakota. Google it. It's time to ditch Jibri and find a new sucker to bring you over. You' ll have to find one who hails from LA not Rapid City.

Edited by Matty
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Just watched. This is my take on them so far.  I might change my mind. Lol


Kobe and Emily. Oh dear.  They don’t know each other.  They are old enough to know better. I don’t believe he invested money in a cafe during covid.  Unless, he paired up with Azun, like he told Nicole. Lol Emily reminds me so much of Kalani, Season 6.  They even speak a like. 
 

Kara and Guillermo.  I could say some things, but……he’s so damned attractive!  I get where Kara is coming from.  😍 
 

Bilal and Shaeeda.  Lol.  Bilal seems fake to me.  Sometimes control freaks are particularly bothered when their love interest break free, like he describes getting heart broken.  They play the victim to garner sympathy, like he has from his sister.  Underneath, he seethes with resentment and  that’s why he’s so suspicious and wants to TESTS his fiancé.   Let’s see how much Shaeeda can take.  He’s too impressed with himself.  He’ll likely push her buttons.  I see no issues with the fact she wants a baby ASAP and he doesn’t.  Lol

I don’t have much to say about the rest yet.    

 

 

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5 hours ago, Welshman in Ca said:

Bilal is just another 90day asswipe who thinks he's the greatest thing ever because he made a little money.

Did he?  Maybe everything he uses and wears is rented, leased, borrowed--or on an over-extended credit card.

He used the word "stunting" too easily; he's probably been accused of that all his adult life...wait...all his post-elementary school life.

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In light of this ep's title, the show is starting off as a poor, shrivelled hot dog in a bun looking for something to make it taste better.

Bilal and Shaeeda: Reator guy has built his engagement foundation like a professionally staged home. He's OCDish maybe, he gets engaged to a woman with whom he has spent one week. His ex wife seems to know his 'deal' and he also has two kids. He's a hood bougie, which made me think head bougie, and I just don't get the business of bougie. He does have nice things, and maybe he just keeps his previous house as a reminder or something to keep him motivated to keep going. Shaeeda seems beautiful. Don't know how yoga fits in to the Muslim faith, but it probably does in some way. Bilal's sister complains that his new fiance has never been married at the old folks' home age of 37. Shaeeda is not obligated to share her entire past with any of them. Maybe a fiance died in a car crash, maybe took a job in another country, he cheated on her and vice versa, they weren't long term material. But it's okay that her brother has been divorced and has two kids. Probably cultural that there is something wrong with her. Bilal also mentions that he doesn't share much of his life with Shaeeda - in case she is nothing more than a gold digger. Dude, your gold stash is not that huge. You cannot build any relationship on a series of lies. Not showing your house, not telling her where you live, talking to her against a blank wall. Uh, the fiance should have some idea of the living conditions! The house, the yard, what's around, shopping, libraries, you name it. And then you plan to test her by taking her to your old home, to see if she really wants you for who you are. I don't think she has any idea who you really are - just the guy she was talking to that she's created her own narrative of who she thinks you are. I would be beyond angry and offended at his prank.  Show me the house at some point - and not just a reflection of your massive insecurity. Good luck to these two.

Kara and Guillermo: He is cute and there is something sexy about him. He is also a boy who still has many years to grow and mature in to a man that might be ready for commitment and marriage. She reminds me of the blonde who bound the younger guy on the Caribbean show. At 23, he may not have much to offer in a relationship. They did seem to actually spend time together and live together and have some idea who they really are, so this may work for a couple of years til they outgrow each other. Kara may also need to consider some sort of van for her balloon business. The car is not working.

Emily and Kobe: Another birth control failure relationship based on maybe guilt and obligation. She's been immature, made some not so great life decisions which may bite her back when she gets serious about a job/career and finds out that she needs to upgrade her education. Don't know the parental dynamic. She goes travelling, meets some black underwear model in China - she likes black men - well, some women don't mind men of any shape, size, or colour - and lo and behold, they have a fling and she gets knocked up. Because of Covid, she returns home and has a baby boy. Kobe is waiting for his visa - might be a challenge for someone from Cameroon who is maybe living in China to get one. He doesn't seem the world's best husband prospect, but who knows. The season's bun is fresh from the oven and is a bit soft. The parents don't really want to support three adult children and a baby. Emily may be a single parent to her little one, and I don't know if Kobe will like life in Kansas(?) to stick around. At some point, he and Emily may need to move to a larger city for their relationship to work. And here's hoping another little lost bun doesn't find its way to the oven.

Jibri and Miona: I keep wanting to call her Fiona and I am getting Shrek vibes. So he's a dude who was in a band and was living in Serbia and he met Miona at one of his gigs? His mom is a therapist so hello free unwanted advice and judgment. His music career has kinda been in the toilet for the past couple of years - no gigs, no audience, and Covid hit hard. The A list bands didn't suffer that much but the semi successful local band did. Granted, I don't know how successful he was. So he is now home in South Dakota, 28 years old, living with mom and stepdad, and having to do some chores to earn his keep. Plus he is bringing over his fiance. Who will hate South Dakota and small town life with a passion. She is expecting LA and the fun and excitement and musician's wife lifestyle there. Maybe a cow will listen to her woes. Will be a moooving experience for both. His parents think she may be too much for their neck of the woods - yeah, skimpy outfits and Instagram type modelling may not be appropriate for small town South Dakota. She can wear whatever she likes, but she may have to make some temporary adjustments. The wannabe Kardashians are a dime a dozen in LA. Ya gotta have your own gimmick. And Jibri needs to have some really good songs to sell and make some money via gigs. Streaming royalties are very very low. Culture shock, space punk music that belongs in other cities, a dude who is looking for his nearest hustle..... yeah, this will last.

 

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5 hours ago, anoninrva said:

You mean you don't think ClownPunk is going to be the next new trend?  He's a quirky guy.  I don't see him making enough money to live the lifestyle she wants in LA period.  Hopefully, they don't take the plunge and end up in an RV on the side of the road.  FIFY 😉

Jibri seems like a unique, fun guy, but he is not ready to face the responsibilities of the K-1 Visa - he hasn't even DISCUSSED financials with his fiancé.  Hopefully his parents are too sensible to co-sign the K-1 financial liability for him.

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5 hours ago, Cini said:

Jibri thinks he needs just “one hit song” and he will be able to provide for Miona. That sounds like every broke gambler who just needs one run of luck to be in the clear.

I already feel sorry for Jibri’s and KS party girl’s (Emily?) parents. 

Actually, one megahit can pay your bills for life but probably not if you live extravagantly and not unless it's recorded by a megastar person or group.
I once saw an interview with the fellow who wrote "Daydream Believer," which the Monkees made a hit and which is one of my all-time favorite tunes. He said that song had pretty much supported him for life. He also performs but he's by no means a "name" performer. And that was in the days before streaming off of which as someone mentioned, performers make very little. I think most money is made now in touring.

Some of my favorite songs were one-hit wonders. 

But you can't assume you'll be the one to get struck by lightning.

And sadly, so far on 90 Days, there's never been a songwriter/performer who performed something that seemed like, "Oh, yes. That really could be a hit." 

Edited by JeanJean
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