S05.E15: Cold And Calculated

[Xebug67]

On 3/28/2022 at 6:25 PM, Frozendiva said:

Maybe Covid health restrictions were in effect and limited guests.

Also maybe they couldn't get everyone to sign waivers that allow them to be filmed.

[Frozendiva]

17 minutes ago, Xebug67 said:

Also maybe they couldn't get everyone to sign waivers that allow them to be filmed.

True. They may have filmed for a half hour and then when the camera crew left, the real party happened.

[Xebug67]

On 3/28/2022 at 8:31 PM, Back Atcha said:

Mike needs counseling. He also needs someone to coach him about human interaction.  He should attend some meetings of a "Me Too" sort of group. How many times did Ximena try to tell him no.  Not me with you.  Not you with me.

Surely, after his family watches all of his episodes (GEE! WHAT "Tell All" be like???), they will have serious talks with him.  He's NOT okay!  He doesn't know how "romance" works ... and has probably listened too intently and seriously to the young firefighters when they're bragging about women.  

Mike comes off as some innocent nice guy--and he probably is...in many ways.  DO NOT CROSS HIM!  Now his family and friends see that he can deteriorate into something dangerous--to himself and others (See Note) Ximena didn't cross him; she actually tried to like him--at least accept him.  Sometime a human's scent, attitude, and general hygiene are ghastly--rarely can a horrible first impression be fixed, MIKE!

NOTE:  Apparently former farm boy Brandon's parents are on Mike's side.

Bad breath and/or poor hygiene are deal-breakers for me.  I've never been interested in fixer-upper men.  Any guy who's let themselves get to the point of being malodorous in any way, shape or form demonstrates a lack of self-awareness, self-respect and/or consideration for the other people in their lives.  Maybe those train wrecks are fixable (like how Mike kept reminding Ximena of how much he'd already changed himself for her, according to her wishes), but someone other than me would have to do the fixing.

[Mr. Miner]

2 hours ago, magemaud said:

While I was screenshotting...

Johnny’s “O Face” cracks me up! 

He's watching Ella take her panties off.

[Xebug67]

On 3/29/2022 at 11:17 AM, lilmarysunshine said:

What I can't figure out is why did she kiss him?  It is so obvious she has no real interest in him. I guess it was to keep the storyline going - tease him a little. (Not that I feel bad for the creeper. But just "eww" on her part.)

I've posted before that Ximena is as cold as ice. lol  She cracks me up with shit. I am not surprised AT ALL that she met him through her webcam business. He didn't want her doing that for other guys so started sending her money to compensate her for stopping it. My guess is her parents aren't too thrilled with that, either, and saw Mike as an opportunity to get her away from that profession.

I think they are both pretty yucky people. Ximena was still trying to get a boob job out of him like a week ago - dangling a wedding in front of him. I think she finally figured out, though, that she honestly cannot stand him. His friend is right. He disgusts her and really I don't think she can help that.

We all know the only reason he wanted to "say goodbye" to the boys was to manipulate the situation and them in getting Ximena to agree to stay in the relationship.

I find Jasmine and Gino's relationship utterly boring. Same with Kimbaaaly and Usman. The South American ones are the only ones of interest to me.

 

It didn't help either that he's constantly shadowing her, and seemingly not giving her breathing room away from him.  He's a smotherer (and scarily I think in more ways than one - emotionally needy on the one hand, and on the other possibly capable of stalker/slasher level smothering when he's rejected).

[Mondrianyone]

1 minute ago, Xebug67 said:

He's a smotherer (and scarily I think in more ways than one - emotionally needy on the one hand, and on the other possibly capable of stalker/slasher level smothering when he's rejected).

Everything about his body language was telling me Ximena was lucky to have a film crew around. He was like a coiled beast--an owl maybe, but still . . . They're raptors.

No, seriously, I saw every likelihood that he would have gone at her physically if not for the cameras.

[1011101010001]

20 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

Everything about his body language was telling me Ximena was lucky to have a film crew around. He was like a coiled beast--an owl maybe, but still . . . They're raptors.

No, seriously, I saw every likelihood that he would have gone at her physically if not for the cameras.

Not that it makes it right but I’m pretty sure she would beat his ass.

[Nickieca]

I’m wondering if Memphis knew or suspected she could be pregnant before she went over, if she actually that took pregnancy test with her from the states....

[Mondrianyone]

37 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Not that it makes it right but I’m pretty sure she would beat his ass.

I'm not as sure as you are. Mike looks slack and pasty, but he is a firefighter, so he may have muscles that don't show but that actually work. X may rely on her collection of bad boys to take on her fights. Who knows?

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, Mondrianyone said:

Everything about his body language was telling me Ximena was lucky to have a film crew around. He was like a coiled beast--an owl maybe, but still . . . They're raptors.

No, seriously, I saw every likelihood that he would have gone at her physically if not for the cameras.

There was definitely a point where the switch flipped and Mike went from pathetic to sinister. He's so stunted I don't think he's able to process emotions like a normal adult. I could easily see him hauling off and hitting someone. 

 

[hookedontv]

You know what else bugs me about Memphis? How she doesn't call Hamza's sister by her name: Rawia. Memphis only refers to her as "Sister." I don't know if Memphis just calls Hayet "Mother?" These names don't seem to hard to pronounce.

To me, it's shades of Angela not calling Michael by his true name. I don't remember (and really don't care to revisit those two) the history of calling him "Michael", but it screams of an arrogant american not willing to put in some effort to pronounce a foreign sounding name correctly.

[Hotel Snarker]

Mike couldn’t get a woman so he found a camgirl and thought he could buy her for real. Welp, you can’t always buy a woman, and if you go in TRYING to buy her, how do you get surprised when you realize the entire relationship is transactional?? OBVIOUSLY it is, or she wouldn’t be with you and you wouldn’t have to pay her rent for her to unenthusiastically have sex with you then call you a bug. I’m so confused with anyone on Mike’s side here, Ximena is a little hoodrat hoe but at least she’s not lying about who she is, unlike Mike. He wants to pretend to be some nice guy, a savior, when he wanted a hot girl. He didn’t care when she clearly was not attracted to him. She gave the rings back, GO AWAY. Also, real nice to try to throw it in her face that she’s a cam girl when YOU found her as a client on a cam girl site, weirdo. The pure delusion.

How you can stay somewhere you’re not welcome is beyond me. Paying for it or not. The way my jaw dropped when she said to leave please and he flat out says “no”. This has to be harassment. He’s forcing himself on her. She has respectfully been honest about her feelings with him with what seems like a hundred times. Mike is a garbage human and I am so glad she was able to get him to leave! He was so manipulative and would have brought her the the US to control and demean her like a second class citizen! When he said “I could have made you happy” and she came back and said “my children do that”, QUEEN!!! Mike is lucky he didn’t spend his last night in a Colombian jail cell.

How old is Ximena's sister? She's really got the 13 or 30 thing going on, and then she navigated those negotiations like a pro. She even towed the line perfectly of be nice to Mike to get him to leave, but not too nice, cause he'd definitely interpret that as she was in to him. I loved when you could tell she was about to pat him on the back while he was crying then pulled back. Girl's smart.

Guys, Ben is really starting to scare me. He’s CHASING her!! Preaching to her about God constantly! 🚩🚩 His telling Mahogany that no one can separate what God brings together was Level 100 Manipulation. Then I guess if she’s able to walk away it shows it wasn’t God after all…

IDGAF, I love Mahogany and her absolute lack of fucks to give. Mahogany: "This is my university 😊. " Ben: "Why don't you live on campus?" Mahogany: "I don't know, good question. 🧐"

Kimbaaaly really needs to learn to love herself the way she deserves than rely on some dude from another country.

Her superfan mentality with Michael Jackson and then Usman seems emotionally underdeveloped to me. Like, is she 12? It's sad.

Gino is the type of weasel who probably tried to entice Jasmine by saying he was more financially secure than he really is. So, I don't feel sorry for him at all.

If Jasmine earns $3000 a month, how come she can’t pay $700 in rent? And Gino has to pay the rent and the cable and the electric and everything else? It doesn’t make sense.

Guys, do you think Jasmine was being unreasonable about making the ex wife change her last name? Why or why not?

This really does feel like the world’s longest season…I recently realized Caleb and Alina were on this season and had to double check on Google. Feels like they were on a year ago.

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Mondrianyone said:

I'm not as sure as you are. Mike looks slack and pasty, but he is a firefighter, so he may have muscles that don't show but that actually work. X may rely on her collection of bad boys to take on her fights. Who knows?

He’s a volunteer firefighter.  Not sure those have to meet any fitness standards.  He’s an IT nerd for employment, which is why he can work from her apartment.

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

24 minutes ago, Hotel Snarker said:

Guys, do you think Jasmine was being unreasonable about making the ex wife change her last name? Why or why not?

She's being ridiculous. Gino has ZERO legal authority to make his ex-wife change her last name. She can name herself whatever she likes and there's nothing Gino or anyone else can do about it.

[Mondrianyone]

35 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

He’s a volunteer firefighter.  Not sure those have to meet any fitness standards.  He’s an IT nerd for employment, which is why he can work from her apartment.

Trust me, I know he's not a professional firefighter. I'm a native NYer, and NYFD look like gods, not like Mike. But most volunteer FFs do have to pass a physical fitness test. I don't know what specific department he belongs to, but I checked the requirements in the towns around Thiells, and most do require a test. It'd be bad enough to wake up with your house on fire, worse still to see Mike come in to save you, and horror-movie scary to know that your mole-faced hero didn't need to prove he was at least capable of dragging you out to safety.

[magemaud]

5 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I thought he said he hadn’t dated since he was 14.  And he doesn’t seem like the type who would have had sex that early.

Yes, his last "serious girlfriend" was when he was 14 and I'm positive he wasn't sexually active then. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he was still a virgin until he was "deflowered" (ha ha, love that term) in Colombia unless his firehouse buddies took him to a whorehouse. 

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, Hotel Snarker said:

She gave the rings back, GO AWAY.

I noticed that last week he threatened to take back everything he had ever given her, now she tried to give him back the rings and he said something like "keep them in case we work things out." 

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

She's being ridiculous. Gino has ZERO legal authority to make his ex-wife change her last name.

If I was the Ex, I'd say, "Sure, I'll change my name back but it's gonna cost you big time!" The more he spends on the name change process, the less money he has to spend on Jazmine. Since the Ex is already labeled a bitch when she hasn't done anything to Jazmine she's got nothing to lose by pissing her off. 

Edited March 30, 2022 by magemaud

[rr2911]

On 3/28/2022 at 12:34 PM, gingerella said:

 When he called her a 'hija de puta' he was calling her a motherfucker, not a son of a bitch. Neither he nor the TLC translator can get this shit correct.

I read that it can mean motherfucker, but it literally means "daughter of a whore".  Hija is daughter and Hijo is son in spanish.

[Me from ME]

Quote

I thought he said he hadn’t dated since he was 14.

Quote

Quote

 

 

 

I thought that he had been a virgin until I learned that he had been paying for camgirls. Now I wonder if he had visited a worker of the world's oldest profession at some point in the past.  However, probably it wasn't recent since he was so proud of his performance with X and was looking for a compliment. Also he probably used  his money for a camgirl instead of a callgirl.. Who knows, the local call girls may have stopped taking his calls given his hygiene issues and general creepiness.

 

Regarding his claim that he was a volunteer firefighter. My old, out of shape, non physically active brother was a volunteer at his local fire department for years. He did their books on a non professional basis (think along the lines of Quickbooks) and directed traffic at fires. I know, he even gave me a baseball cap that says Fire Police with the name of his fire department emblazoned thereon. He also oversaw their venison dinner fundraiser. So, my point is that to be a volunteer firefighter in a volunteer fire department  doesn't necessarily mean that there is fire fighting involved.

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

37 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I noticed that last week he threatened to take back everything he had ever given her...

When watching last week's Pillow Talk, I cracked up when Robert sarcastically asked if Mike was going to carry Ximena's dining room table on the plane.

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Mondrianyone said:

Trust me, I know he's not a professional firefighter. I'm a native NYer, and NYFD look like gods, not like Mike. But most volunteer FFs do have to pass a physical fitness test. I don't know what specific department he belongs to, but I checked the requirements in the towns around Thiells, and most do require a test. It'd be bad enough to wake up with your house on fire, worse still to see Mike come in to save you, and horror-movie scary to know that your mole-faced hero didn't need to prove he was at least capable of dragging you out to safety.

He looks about 5’2” I doubt he could carry a victim out lol.

[Baltimore Betty]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

I noticed that last week he threatened to take back everything he had ever given her, now she tried to give him back the rings and he said something like "keep them in case we work things out." 

What color is the sky in Mike's world?

[Gobi]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

If I was the Ex, I'd say, "Sure, I'll change my name back but it's gonna cost you big time!" The more he spends on the name change process, the less money he has to spend on Jazmine. Since the Ex is already labeled a bitch when she hasn't done anything to Jazmine she's got nothing to lose by pissing her off. 

Plot twist: Gino and his ex had the same last name before they were married.

Edited March 31, 2022 by Gobi

[Mondrianyone]

51 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

He looks about 5’2” I doubt he could carry a victim out lol.

Maybe he specializes in rescuing small pets.

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Mondrianyone said:

Maybe he specializes in rescuing small pets.

His head resembles an unwatered Chia pet.

[monagatuna]

On 3/30/2022 at 5:43 PM, Mondrianyone said:

Maybe he specializes in rescuing small pets.

I would die rescuing my cats before I'd trust him to do it.

"Hija de puta" may literally translate to "daughter of a bitch" but dude literally said "ha ha ha" into a translator app so I really don't trust his Spanish skills to know what he was saying.

Edit: it's actually (literally translated) "daughter of a wh**e," but it just goes to show that literal translations mean nothing. hijo/a, perra/puta, it means "son of a bitch." But again, no way could he know that. 

Edited April 2, 2022 by monagatuna

[Back Atcha]

8 hours ago, Xebug67 said:

Any guy who's let themselves get to the point of being malodorous in any way, shape or form demonstrates a lack of self-awareness, self-respect and/or consideration for the other people in their lives. 

Boy-O-Boy-O-BOY!   I'm with ya...no fixer-uppers for me.  I can't remember: is Mike living with his father and grandfather?  If that's the case, perhaps all three generations are in need of hygiene information/education.  AND...picture those cute little boys AND THEIR MOM, moving into THAT living situation.  OY!

[1011101010001]

53 minutes ago, Back Atcha said:

Boy-O-Boy-O-BOY!   I'm with ya...no fixer-uppers for me.  I can't remember: is Mike living with his father and grandfather?  If that's the case, perhaps all three generations are in need of hygiene information/education.  AND...picture those cute little boys AND THEIR MOM, moving into THAT living situation.  OY!

Three generations belching and farting.  What a symphony.

[Pepper Mostly]

14 hours ago, Hotel Snarker said:

How you can stay somewhere you’re not welcome is beyond me. Paying for it or not. The way my jaw dropped when she said to leave please and he flat out says “no”. This has to be harassment. He’s forcing himself on her. She has respectfully been honest about her feelings with him with what seems like a hundred times. Mike is a garbage human and I am so glad she was able to get him to leave! He was so manipulative and would have brought her the the US to control and demean her like a second class citizen! When he said “I could have made you happy” and she came back and said “my children do that”, QUEEN!!! Mike is lucky he didn’t spend his last night in a Colombian jail cell.

@Hotel Snarker I loved your whole post but wanted to address this bit in particular. Ximena is not without fault, to be sure, and clearly she and her family have had a very hard life. I really think she was trying to make a better life for herself and her family by marrying Mike. She'd be away from the very mean streets of her hometown and her boys would have a chance to grow up free from poverty and fear and crime. She would be sacrificing her own happiness, at least in the short term, for them. Her options were certainly few. I don't judge her for being a sex worker, and I don't blame her one bit for dumping Mike. She could have gritted her teeth and followed through but in person he was a bridge too far. The notion that she should be grateful, even for a stinky, boorish, socially inept, crude oaf like Mike is unpleasant to contemplate. She's tough, she's hard, she's made questionable choices, but she clearly loves her kids and her family. And you just KNOW that once she got to the US, Mike, and his equally grubby and oafish father and grandfather, would treat Ximena like a servant, throw her immigrant status and sex worker past in her face at every opportunity, and demean and belittle her. I don't think anyone deserves that. We've seen these kinds of relationships before. 

[mytmo]

Voluntary Firefighters are no joke.  Stipe Miocic is a local volunteer here in the Cleveland area.  Mike is a disgrace.

[lilysmom]

17 hours ago, Me from ME said:

I thought that he had been a virgin until I learned that he had been paying for camgirls. Now I wonder if he had visited a worker of the world's oldest profession at some point in the past.  However, probably it wasn't recent since he was so proud of his performance with X and was looking for a compliment. Also he probably used  his money for a camgirl instead of a callgirl.. Who knows, the local call girls may have stopped taking his calls given his hygiene issues and general creepiness.

 

Regarding his claim that he was a volunteer firefighter. My old, out of shape, non physically active brother was a volunteer at his local fire department for years. He did their books on a non professional basis (think along the lines of Quickbooks) and directed traffic at fires. I know, he even gave me a baseball cap that says Fire Police with the name of his fire department emblazoned thereon. He also oversaw their venison dinner fundraiser. So, my point is that to be a volunteer firefighter in a volunteer fire department  doesn't necessarily mean that there is fire fighting involved.

I agree that there are many non physical jobs in a volunteer fire department. My son in law is a chief in such a department and I can attest to the fact that he and his colleagues are willing to risk their lives to save yours. There are many classes and tests involved in "volunteering" your time and also much $$ spent from the volunteers' pockets. Those fundraisers like pancake breakfasts and bashes are vital in raising funds to keep these organizations going, and the volunteers who cannot physically fight a fire are very important in keeping those other things going. Much like the military, not everyone is capable o doing the physical side, but their contributions are important.

Also it is important to remember that these volunteers are exactly that. They have full time jobs that they are sometimes called away from to fight a fire or direct traffic around an accident, etc. One cannot expect all of them to have the physical abilities of a professional firefighter, whose job it is to fight fires.

I'm not defending anything about Mike, I am supporting volunteers of any kind!

Edited March 31, 2022 by lilysmom

[BitterApple]

47 minutes ago, mytmo said:

Voluntary Firefighters are no joke.  Stipe Miocic is a local volunteer here in the Cleveland area.  Mike is a disgrace.

Hell, if he was a firefighter in my local department, I'd be calling 911 on a regular basis! 😍🤪

[Xebug67]

14 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

What color is the sky in Mike's world?

The same color as his rose colored glasses, LOL.

[Stuckathome]

17 hours ago, BitterApple said:

There was definitely a point where the switch flipped and Mike went from pathetic to sinister. He's so stunted I don't think he's able to process emotions like a normal adult. I could easily see him hauling off and hitting someone. 

According to a live X posted, Mike DID get physical and she was surprised TLC cut that footage and that the crew really did NOT step in. It wasn't physical against her, I think she said he punched a hole in the wall.....If that is true, shame on production for NOT shutting that shit down and also for not airing it. They certainly are doing their best to keep painting him in the best light. not sure why

[Me from ME]

Quote

here are many classes and tests involved in "volunteering"

No argument there. I recall him prepping for the CPR test. He absolutely loved knowing everyone in town and being known by everyone.

[ALittleShelfish]

1 hour ago, mytmo said:

Voluntary Firefighters are no joke.  Stipe Miocic is a local volunteer here in the Cleveland area.  Mike is a disgrace.

Things I wish I knew when I lived there.  Dang.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

Hell, if he was a firefighter in my local department, I'd be calling 911 on a regular basis!

If you become morbidly obese, like the 600 Pound Lifers, you can call the hunky firefighters to come move you! 

I’m laughing to myself imagining Mikey posing for one of those firefighter calendars. (Compare this to Stipe)

Edited March 31, 2022 by magemaud

[Back Atcha]

1 hour ago, Me from ME said:

No argument there. I recall him prepping for the CPR test. He absolutely loved knowing everyone in town and being known by everyone.

Can we hear from some of the women in town?

[Back Atcha]

21 hours ago, Breedom said:

Yup, agree. Who goes into their own wedding without an inkling of an idea of what it's going to be like? WHO? No one with a shred of intelligence.

This is why people in her community should be concerned about her profession: NURSE PRACTITIONER.   

21 hours ago, Breedom said:

She just goes along with it, in pure ignorance,

She's a good example of those people who fall through the cracks...they seem to be getting by, but some of their decisions will have long, long side effects.  BAD SIDE EFFECTS.

[FrancescaFiore]

https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2022/03/ben-rathbun-fired-following-arrest-i-didnt-drink-and-drive-i-was/

 

Sure, sure, sure. Homeless people he was "helping" offered him a cup of wine, which they'd spiked with drugs, because you know how homeless drug addicts looooove giving away their drugs for a laugh. 

<whispering wind> Loooooooooooserrrr

Edited March 31, 2022 by FrancescaFiore

[BitterApple]

10 minutes ago, FrancescaFiore said:

https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2022/03/ben-rathbun-fired-following-arrest-i-didnt-drink-and-drive-i-was/

 

Sure, sure, sure. Homeless people he was "helping" offered him a cup of wine, which they'd spiked with drugs, because you know how homeless drug addicts looooove giving away their drugs for a laugh. 

<whispering wind> Loooooooooooserrrr

My first thought was Ben went to the motel to meet a hooker, not help the homeless. 

[magemaud]

13 minutes ago, FrancescaFiore said:

Sure, sure, sure. Homeless people he was "helping" offered him a cup of wine, which they'd spiked with drugs, because you know how homeless drug addicts looooove giving away their drugs for a laugh. 

And that lame explanation doesn't mention him driving on a suspended license and probation violation which led to his recent arrest. Apparently the judge didn't buy his story back when the incident occurred in 2020:  "In January 2021, he was sentenced to 18 months probation. It seems Ben had a probation violation hearing on February 7, and he did not appear for it. The judge issued a bench warrant that supposedly led to Ben's arrest. He was taken into custody at the Oakland County Jail. Ben was released on bond on the same evening after spending over 18 hours in jail at 6:59 pm."

[Mr. Miner]

As I was being pulled from the raging fire in my semi conscious state. All I can remember is the distinct smell of dogshit and I knew I was safe with volunteer Mike. (Mike had stepped in dogshit at the scene, of course he did)

[1011101010001]

Wine is Jesus juice donchaknow?

[1011101010001]

Boy his hairline has receded a lot since filming.  Looks like has lost weight too.

 

Edited March 31, 2022 by MrBuhBye

[magemaud]

57 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Boy his hairline has receded a lot since filming.  Looks like has lost weight too.

Reality "stardom" can do that to a person. 

[FrancescaFiore]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

Reality "stardom" can do that to a person

So can getting caught drunk driving, dodging your court date, grooming too-young women, losing your job and being exposed as the ubercreep you truly are. Tiny violin for Ben. 🎻

Edited March 31, 2022 by FrancescaFiore

[nutella fitzgerald]

9 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

And you just KNOW that once she got to the US, Mike, and his equally grubby and oafish father and grandfather, would treat Ximena like a servant, throw her immigrant status and sex worker past in her face at every opportunity, and demean and belittle her.

Quoted for truth. We saw Mike try his best to throw her sex work history and his US citizen status (“I could have given you so many opportunities to live in America and work a better job!”) during this fight, there is no way he wouldn’t have played that card if she actually had moved to America and gotten whatever job is “better” in Mike’s 270 degree rotating head 🦉

At least he finally answered all the “why doesn’t Mike find a nice girl in his hometown?” questions. You can’t hold US residency and work status over the head of the phlebotomist you met at the local watering hole.

[Texasmom1970]

Every season there are many unlikeable characters on this show. I think this season has the most unsavory bunch of assholes every. I cannot think of any of these couples having any redeeming qualities. Hell most of them cant even pretend to like each other.