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S05.E11: Back To Square One


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(edited)

I am so disappointed in Usman for caving in to Kimbelly and giving her some "yammy". Her stupid gloating, "are you happy?" - like the encounter was ultra meaningful to him. I wish she would stop with her unending comments to Usman which are essentially fishing to hear how happy he is.

So glad that her ear-to-ear grin was wiped off her face when Usman brought up Zara. So now she suddenly feels stupid for ever going there. OK, fantastic. 'Bout time. Now go home to your MJ shrine. She kills me.

Edited by Breedom
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(edited)
On 3/1/2022 at 12:16 PM, nutella fitzgerald said:

All the suggestions for how Mike can find a woman who won’t sponge off of him fail to acknowledge that he pretty much went looking for a transactional relationship. It’s like coming up with ideas for where Darcey can buy sensible knee-length skirts and crewneck sweaters.

^This. All day. Every day.^ You described it much better than I did, thank you! The thing is, I think the Mike's and Ben's out there are too stupid and deluded to realize that they're transactional relationships, and now Ben's all concerned that MOWg'ny is shady? Look in the mirror buddy, there's your shady.

Edited by gingerella
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25 minutes ago, gingerella said:

^This. All day. Every day.^ You described it much better than I did, thank you! The thing is, I think the Mike's and Ben's out there are too stupid and deluded to realize that they're transactional relationships, and now Ben's all concerned that MOWg'ny aint is shady? Look in the mirror buddy, there's your shady.

It would be funny if his ex had been catfishing him and hired the woman to play Mahogany.

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2 hours ago, gingerella said:

I do know some mofo assholes who were shitass husbands and they're Jewish so there ya go.

So you’ve met my ex-husband. He makes himself out to be one step removed from Rabbi Schneerson, but is a complete and utter loser.

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On 2/28/2022 at 10:54 AM, Mr. Miner said:

I really wasn't thinking about Mike and his erections.

I wasn't either and I was eating.  I thought we were friends!

I am learning all kinds of things about the Jewish faith through this thread.  Thank you all!

So, Ben, 24 is okay but 22 is a bridge too far?

On 2/28/2022 at 5:09 PM, greekmom said:

Would love it if his daughter brought home a 75 yr old man for shits and giggles.

He would say it is God's will.

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12 hours ago, Gobi said:

True enough, but I think this was the first time someone questioned whether this really was where their soulmate lived.

The bigger question is why would TLC include this. There have been plenty of airbnbs used over the years. Sometimes because neighborhoods or HOA's wont let people film at their house, sometimes homes are too hard to film in because of space or have people living there that do not want to be filmed.  Plenty of the cast have admitted later that airport scenes are faked but they go along with it and pretend it is real, or TLC only shows the us perfect airport scene. TLC follows stories with the cast. there could be 100 cool things that happen during filming but they stick to one story, guy does not have a job, family hates each other, cultural differences. The only reason TLC left this scene in of Ben questioning is this her place, is because it is part of the story they want us to see. 

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1 hour ago, silverspoons said:

he bigger question is why would TLC include this

Occam’s Razor? The producers and editors thought it would entertain us. They read message boards and snark sites.

Another possibility is that they need to fill up more time than they thought they would, between Ella-Johnny being a bust and Alina-Caleb being shown the door mid-season, so there was a need to pick up the trash from the cutting room floor. 🤷‍♀️

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5 hours ago, silverspoons said:

The only reason TLC left this scene in of Ben questioning is this her place, is because it is part of the story they want us to see. 

I agree with with you. They definitely want to go with the "catfish or not?" storyline with these two. Realistically, the AirBNB segment was pointless. If she didn't want to bring Ben to her home, just have everyone meet at a restaurant. Easy peasy. Instead, the producers came up with a ridiculous fake housing scenario to pad this wafer thin plot. I'm actually very confused by this storyline. The producer shenanigans seem more heavy-handed than usual, so I have no idea what the actual truth is. I was definitely leaning on the side of everything being fake, until I saw a comment in the couples thread saying that

Spoiler

someone made an instagram (or twitter?) post (with picture) about running into Ben and Mahogany at a mall in Lima within the last week, with no TLC cameras in sight.

So now I don't know what to think, other than this whole thing turns my stomach.

And Mike: get a clue! How big does the red flag have to be before you see it? His answer to every nasty comment Ximena made was "I'm confused," even the brutally blunt, "I don't love you." That is the least confusing comment someone could say to you.

If I didn't know the larger story, from this episode I would think that Jasmine and Gino were a mostly normal couple (aside from the "report and verify" shit). They were both fairly calm, and his dorkiness (he saved her fingernail??) was met with indulgent smiles. However, Jasmine was clearly enjoying twisting the knife when she casually mentioned at the last minute that Gino would need to take off his hat at in her mother's home. She loooooved watching him squirm.

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I just can not imagine having Mike or Gino in bed with me. What is wrong with these women? Just plain nasty!!

 Well in Mike's case, his woman was using him as an ATM. Look at her----she is the Colombian version of trailer trash. If this was an American woman living in a hovel anywhere in the US with all her family, two kids by 24 by two different dads (one conceived in a jail visit), covered in tats and dressing the way she dresses, Mike wouldn't give her the time of day and I am sure the comments from his family would be different. But since she is a "espicy Latina" she is somehow more palatable. And because she wants to escape poverty, she will entertain the idea. But now the curtain has dropped and she either has a new guy on teh hook or her baby daddy in jail got wind of her trying to take off and has turned on teh charms again so.....she isn't willing. 

Gino and Jasmine----I would say it is transactional, but she actually sometimes seems to have a good head on her shoulders. She didn't stop her BC pills, she doesn't want her kids involved yet...so, who knows. 

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Regarding Mike wearing a rosary:

Each bead symbolizes a prayer, and "saying the rosary" takes quite a bit of time. One must take each bead at a time and recite (silently or aloud) the prayer it represents. Rosaries are not meant to be worn as necklaces, and it is somewhat of a Catholic rule not to do so.

and this:

Is it OK to wear a rosary if you're not Catholic?

No, it is not okay. The Rosary is a counting device for religious uses only, it is not an ornament or a jewellery set. Anything else other than the intended purpose is disrespectful and shows a lack of sympathy for religious sentiments. "It is totally disrespectful to the religious beliefs of Catholics"

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Mahogany is really Ashley Tisdale in a wig.

Did anyone else notice Ben’s creepy “mmmm” when he hugged Mahogany on the boardwalk? Yet another resemblance to David!

Ben playing Sherlock and struggling to realize it was an AirBNB really shows why Christian fundamentalists shouldn't home school.

Ben drawing the line at his daughters age...”Love knows no age.” 🙄

Ben: 🤤🤤🤤 "I will give you many children.” Ben after realizing Mahogany is really 22: "Ewww…thats icky. My daughter’s also 22." 😠😠 Fucking yikes. Even 24 is too young then.

WHERE. IS. MY. ASIAN. PRINCE?

I'm disgusted by Ximena's behavior. It's okay to fall out of love with someone (though I doubt if she was ever really in love). But what gives you the right to demand $5000 for a boob job if you don't even like him? I lost it when Ximena shrugged off the relationship like she just had a mediocre meal at Applebees. 🤷‍♀️ Man, she did not hold back with those words. Brutal! That last scene with Mike broke my heart. They’re not right for each other and I wish he won’t cave to her wishes, but I feel like he will because he thinks she’s the only woman who would like him. He’s incredibly insecure.

"Model" must be code for OnlyFans, or else social media has changed things. It's common knowledge that implants are a no-no in the fashion world. Most supermodels don't have big breasts.

I keep wondering why Kimbaaaly doesn’t put on coverup, base, mascara, and let her hair down, wear a dress (not a T-shirt like a kid), and she would be a solid 4/10.

Kimbaaaly finding out that the song that she likes, called “Zara”, is a song about a woman named Zara, and not “all the women in the world named Zara”.

Nobody, not a damn soul:… Kim: “LET ME TELL YOU DETAILS ABOUT THE SEX I HAD WITH USMAN LAST NIGHT!!” Her talking ‘sexy’ talk makes me physically cringe. ‘Are you tired?’ ‘Did I wear you out?’ ‘I hope I get cassava tonight.’ My imagination is too vivid for this and I hate it. I feel ill during all scenes involving her and Ben.

Gino kept Jasmine's fingernail? Yeah, that's normal. Is everyone ignoring that he not only literally took one of Jasmine’s fingernails to “remember her forever”, but also has 100 pens in his bag? That’s some serial killer shit. The fact that he was nervous to take his hat off for a prayer…this man needs therapy. Work on yourself, Gino. Jasmine is way too hot for him.

I think this is the most nauseating set of of couples yet in 90 Day history.

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2 hours ago, Hotel Snarker said:

Ben drawing the line at his daughters age...”Love knows no age.🙄

Ben: 🤤🤤🤤 "I will give you many children.” Ben after realizing Mahogany is really 22: "Ewww…thats icky. My daughter’s also 22." 😠😠 Fucking yikes. Even 24 is too young then.

Apparently, love knew no age when he thought she was 24, but 22 is a whole 'nother story! 

3 hours ago, Hotel Snarker said:

Kimbaaaly finding out that the song that she likes, called “Zara”, is a song about a woman named Zara, and not “all the women in the world named Zara”.

and that Zara is Usman's far prettier American ex who lost him over her jealousy, or so he claims.  

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36 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Apparently, love knew no age when he thought she was 24, but 22 is a whole 'nother story! 

and that Zara is Usman's far prettier American ex who lost him over her jealousy, or so he claims.  

Prettier assumes Kimbaaaaly is pretty at all.

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On 3/1/2022 at 3:31 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:
On 2/28/2022 at 8:54 AM, Mr. Miner said:

I really wasn't thinking about Mike and his erections.

I wasn't either and I was eating.  I thought we were friends!

I am learning all kinds of things about the Jewish faith through this thread.  Thank you all!

So, Ben, 24 is okay but 22 is a bridge too far?

Comedy gold eight there, thanks for the laugh!

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On 2/28/2022 at 7:53 PM, TzuShih said:

Bwahahahaha!!!  What about those old Friday Nite "Socials?"  Sooooo many Mikes.   🤓  Almost made me wanna wear a cross!  (Sorry for my youthful judgements....I suspect/hope that some of those guys went on to be loveable husbands.)  Mike SHOULD be able to make a connection....but, more likely, on his own home turf.)

 

Sure he could. But he thinks he deserves a "hot" young woman. Not the sorts of 30-ish, plain Jane, maybe awkward, maybe shy, maybe not very socially adept types of women he could meet that way. For some reason our guy Mike, who's no looker and doesn't come across as very worldly or even especially bright, thinks he can punch way above his weight. 

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Just now, Pepper Mostly said:

For some reason our guy Mike, who's no looker and doesn't come across as very worldly or even especially bright, thinks he can punch way above his weight. 

This!!! I blame the hook up culture of online dating apps....when I was online, if I contacted someone I considered my level or higher in terms of being attractive, if I got a response it was usually, send me nudes or just their address and a dick pic. Not all, of course, because my current BF was one of my hotties I reached out to---however, I will say I also reached out to the more average looking guys if they had a decently written profile. I think a lot fo people equate swipes and likes on an app with "she/he is in LOVE with me" and uh, no....

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15 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

But hey they run out!

I seriously doubt that he's hand writing the next great American novel, so there's no logical, rational excuse for having so many pens in his bag, even if they do run out, lol.

He's a nut job.  Period.  The end.  That's all, folks!

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3 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Sure he could. But he thinks he deserves a "hot" young woman. Not the sorts of 30-ish, plain Jane, maybe awkward, maybe shy, maybe not very socially adept types of women he could meet that way. For some reason our guy Mike, who's no looker and doesn't come across as very worldly or even especially bright, thinks he can punch way above his weight. 

Exactly.

And it's all of them.  Both the men and the women on the show over the years that think just because they have the 'American ticket' that they can get that unattainable good looking thing on their arm. Only a slight percentage have worked for some unknown factor. 

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1 hour ago, greekmom said:

think just because they have the 'American ticket' that they can get that unattainable good looking thing on their arm.

I feel like there are two camps...

1. those that KNOW the magic attraction of the green card and play sex tourist until they find the "one." I consider Tarik, David (of Annie & David), and Michael (with Juliana) and the creepy old guy who went to Haiti with the suitcase full of panties. If the foreign partner throws up too many barricades, they drop them and move on because they are in charge. 

2. Those that sort of underestimate the allure of the green card and honestly believe that these people who are way out of their league in terms of looks are truly in love with them for who they are .......they get so excited that they have the attention of a reasonably attractive woman or man and lose all sense and ignore all the red flags to make it work. 

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On 2/28/2022 at 7:24 AM, suzeecat said:
On 2/28/2022 at 7:20 AM, WahooLAH99 said:

I think he is wearing a Rosary. Which is not something people usually wear.  I have only seen old school, like back in the day, nuns wear them.

. . . and Madonna. 

I'm from 1940...that's "back in the day." Never saw it.  I came from a Catholic family (aunts were nuns), strict Catholic mother...12yrs of Catholic school where we were instructed to NEVER wear a rosary as a necklace.  NEVER!  I've known several orders of nuns and their rosaries were usually large beads hooked on a belt at their waist.  No "jullery"!  

I see people wearing them as necklaces ... and even featured on the runway. 

Audrey played an Anglican nun.

 image.png.c873ffe27167ac80810b0c495d2d219a.pngimage.png.d107544eb8fdd62efbcdb2d87eac7c7c.png

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18 minutes ago, Back Atcha said:

I'm from 1940...that's "back in the day." Never saw it.  I came from a Catholic family (aunts were nuns), strict Catholic mother...12yrs of Catholic school where we were instructed to NEVER wear a rosary as a necklace.  NEVER!  I've known several orders of nuns and their rosaries were usually large beads hooked on a belt at their waist.  No "jullery"!  

I see people wearing them as necklaces ... and even featured on the runway. 

Audrey played an Anglican nun.

 image.png.c873ffe27167ac80810b0c495d2d219a.pngimage.png.d107544eb8fdd62efbcdb2d87eac7c7c.png

Yeah I remember Madonna wearing them as jewelry to get attention and it worked.

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On 3/2/2022 at 5:02 PM, Hotel Snarker said:

I keep wondering why Kimbaaaly doesn’t put on coverup, base, mascara, and let her hair down, wear a dress (not a T-shirt like a kid), and she would be a solid 4/10.

I beg to differ. I would say a 1/10.

She always looks so harsh!

On 3/2/2022 at 9:10 AM, winsomeone said:

I just can not imagine having Mike or Gino in bed with me. What is wrong with these women? Just plain nasty!!

Please don't introduce this thought into my brain . . . specifically Mike. What would I think about myself in the morning? 🤮

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11 hours ago, Breedom said:

I beg to differ. I would say a 1/10.

She always looks so harsh!

She strikes me as a Cowboys fan:  Super arrogant about nothing to be arrogant about.  Come at me, Dallas fans!  (You do have an impressive stadium.)

On 3/2/2022 at 9:15 PM, gingerella said:

Comedy gold eight there, thanks for the laugh!

You are very welcome!

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Just because Ximeana is trash, it doesn't make Mike more than he isn't. He is strange acting, looks to be none  too clean, farts in public, and can walk around with poop on his shoes and not even notice. Not to even mention his looks..,I realize he was born with them, but they really are unfortunate.

How many years was Memphis in foster care I wonder? Her life can not have been an easy one.

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Just because Ximeana is trash, it doesn't make Mike more than he isn't. He is strange acting, looks to be none  too clean, farts in public, and can walk around with poop on his shoes and not even notice. Not to even mention his looks..,I realize he was born with them, but they really are unfortunate.

I agree, Mike is no winner. Certainly we all know good, decent people who for some reason remain single and just can't find a decent person to share life with. Some of that comes down to luck and timing, etc. However, that was one thing that I realized when I was single and dating---"damn, there is a good reason this guy is still single." I think Mike falls into that category---may be a nice enough person, but there is SOME reason he remains single. 

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(edited)

Given Mike doesn't appear to know he is Jewish, I'm not surprised he thinks the rosary is a necklace, and that the cross is the letter X for Ximena. 

Edited by bravofan27
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11 minutes ago, bravofan27 said:

Given Mike doesn't appear to know he is Jewish, I'm not surprised he thinks the rosary is a necklace, and that the cross is the letter X for Ximena. 

For Ximena the cross may stand for the crosshairs that her hitman ex  was fond of.

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On 2/27/2022 at 12:30 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:

I need to watch this again as I must have missed a lot.  I watched the whole thing on D plus but it was early.   Mahogs brought Ben to what was clearly a Airbnb.  I would have asked to see her bedroom and opened the closets to see zero clothing in there.  Mahogs lied about HER age, too.  Mahogs parents bring the best facial expressions in a long time.

Aren't all of these filmed in Air BNBs?  That felt like a major fourth wall break to me.   I guess the Caribbean hovel may be real.

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Rewatching the awkward “Ben Meets the Parents” scene in the totally bare apartment which had no signs of Mahogany or anyone actually living there...

Couldn’t help but notice that Ben’s MUA must not have instructed him to be sure and put makeup on his Adam’s apple. 

4AB62D47-660C-4F91-A025-25A641122F05.jpeg

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I don’t find it too surprising that Mike couldn’t find a friend or get to know some clothing store sales associates who can help dress him. Doesn’t have to be expensive clothing. Someone to help him give him some style and some confidence. He isn’t all that attractive but a few nice pieces of clothing will show that he takes care of how he presents himself. Gino, too, really. The sports shorts are not great. There are men’s walking shorts and some decent sandals. It is minor and it is a bit superficial. A lot of women do not want a schlump.

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Watching the bonus scene with Jasmine taking extreme pleasure when forcing Gino to eat the bowl of pigs feet, I realized she’s already starting to get her revenge for the “noots” he sent to his Ex. There’s more to come, Gino! You’ll be paying for this forever and I’m here for it. 

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24 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

I don’t find it too surprising that Mike couldn’t find a friend or get to know some clothing store sales associates who can help dress him. Doesn’t have to be expensive clothing. Someone to help him give him some style and some confidence. He isn’t all that attractive but a few nice pieces of clothing will show that he takes care of how he presents himself. Gino, too, really. The sports shorts are not great. There are men’s walking shorts and some decent sandals. It is minor and it is a bit superficial. A lot of women do not want a schlump.

I think Mike *thinks* he's a baller, the way he dresses in undershirts with the big X cross (🤣).  Gino is hopeless and would probably not let anyone dress him. They're both schlubs and schmuck. I'm watching the reply with extended scenes and when Gino is in the jewelry shop buying Jasmine that lovely $270 engagement ring, he's walking to the cashier and he itches his crotch. Thisnis who these two are. They have no clue how gross they are. Ximena and Jasmine are no prizes but damn, that green card must have a strong pull! 🤮

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Has Ben mentioned his eye issue? Has anyone else noticed it?  It appears that one eye is wider than the other.  I had that happen to me due to eyelid surgery once (blepharoplasty).  I had to have it corrected in a subsequent surgery.  

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1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Has Ben mentioned his eye issue? Has anyone else noticed it?  It appears that one eye is wider than the other.  I had that happen to me due to eyelid surgery once (blepharoplasty).  I had to have it corrected in a subsequent surgery.  

We've been discussing it here for quite some time. On SM, Ben admits to having a "droopy eye" but it hasn't been addressed on the show. 

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39 minutes ago, magemaud said:

We've been discussing it here for quite some time. On SM, Ben admits to having a "droopy eye" but it hasn't been addressed on the show. 

Oh, I tend to fall asleep and can’t participate much in the live thread.  

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That’s okay, many times the show puts me to sleep, too. Fortunately there are people here who are willing to bring us up to speed when we miss something or have a question 

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(edited)
Quote

He could meet someone. But he wanted a sexy, spicy Latina.

I actually think he could find a Ximena in the U.S.: maybe undocumented, definitely poor, a couple of kids by different useless dads, dependent family members, tatted up, realizing that the bad boys have left her destitute and desperate. A steadily employed nice guy who's willing to support the family can buy that lady's affection right here in the USA. If this is what he likes, he needs to be hitting on the women working the drive-thru at Wendy's or cleaning the office at night. They might even be able to have part of a conversation without a translator app.

Edited by IvySpice
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19 hours ago, IvySpice said:

I actually think he could find a Ximena in the U.S.: maybe undocumented, definitely poor, a couple of kids by different useless dads, dependent family members, tatted up, realizing that the bad boys have left her destitute and desperate. A steadily employed nice guy who's willing to support the family can buy that lady's affection right here in the USA. If this is what he likes, he needs to be hitting on the women working the drive-thru at Wendy's or cleaning the office at night. They might even be able to have part of a conversation without a translator app.

Absolutely Mike could find a woman in the US that was in need financially, under educated, lacking in marketable job skills with young children, enough tatoos to look like she ran thru a printing press, etc...but I think part of the charm of that relationship with Jicama was the distance, the exotic location, instant love without having to deal with the day to day life stuff because he knows up close he is no prize and dangling US citizenship was the hook he needed. Anyone local would see the real Mike and his living situation and that is something that Jicama most likely did not know about and once she got to the US it would be too late to run for the hills.

 

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1 minute ago, winsomeone said:

What sort of work does Mike do that he can do it online like he does? He doesn't live "big" at home, but does seem to have money for air fare?

What I heard once, and I think this is still true, is that the incentive for doing this show is people get their travel paid for. 

 

X is really not going to be happy without Mike giving her money for a breast augmentation, she is making that really clear and I'm not sure why Mike  isn't getting it.

Gino has the hairiest thighs I've ever seen. No wonder he wears the long gym shorts. 

 

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On 2/28/2022 at 10:00 AM, gaPeach said:

Ben is such a slow slug.  The moment she opened the door you could tell it was an RB&B and not her apartment.  Hahahaha the games on the shelve next to fireplace was a dead give away it was rental.  I thought the people playing her parents are also actors.  He kind of deserves it.

  Reveal spoiler

I read an article that producers found the actress to play Mahogany for the show.  I find it very plausible.  Not sure the real one could not be found or what but I find it all very fishy.  I don't think Ben is in on it.

 

I think it was probably a friend's place. But as to her parents being actors I don't think so.

As to what's in your spoiler tag, nope:

The above is recent. It's long past the time filming ended for this season. If there were any truth to what was posited in that article, there wouldn't be such strong evidence to the contrary.

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What is wrong with Mahogany's hair?? Is it just the worst haircut ever given or is it bad extensions? It doesn't look like extensions.  The hilights are kind of bad, too so maybe the same person did her whole head jacked up?

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As much as a lowlife as Jicama is in obviously using Mikey Mike Mike (and now that we know more about him, he deserves whatever he gets with this situation), I have to give the girl props for being so disgusted and grossed out by him that even she - a desperate single mother with two kids from different degenerate sperm donors who are both likely criminals - will not marry him just to better her living conditions. I guess that's something akin to self esteem? So today, on International Womens Day, I feel like giving her props for not caving in to marrying this guy because he grosses ME out and I'm seeing him on a TV! Speaking of which, what the fuck is up with his weird hair on his shoulders/arms? It looks like he shaves himself in some weird manner.

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