S03.E07: If You Got It Flaunt It

[Ms.Lulu]

Original Air Date: 09/28/2021

Quote

Olivia goes on a girls' trip with Helena and Moriah in hopes that it will be a stress reliever from her current marital problems. Sparks fly as Micah goes on a date with a girl he met online. Ethan takes extreme measures to cope with Olivia's absence.

 

[PicnicLife77]

Whoa. The producers really tried for some drama with Helena v Leah. I can't really pick between those two. There are things I like and don't about both. 

I know I'll develop many more thoughts as soon as I hit submit, but ... I do really like Olivia. I also really like Ethan. And not that this is the most important takeaway by any means, but I feel for Ethan's not wanting to lose his outside space. I couldn't do it either. Good for him for enjoying "tinkering" and hobbies. I don't think he will be happy in an apartment, and he shouldn't have to be. But Olivia's needs matter too, and I don't see why it has to be an apartment. Compromise and rent a house. 

[Adeejay]

I was surprised to hear Olivia say that perhaps she was too critical and stubborn and didn’t handle things with Ma and Pa Plath as well as she could have. I wonder what brought about that startling realization.

[PicnicLife77]

2 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I was surprised to hear Olivia say that perhaps she was too critical and stubborn and didn’t handle things with Ma and Pa Plath as well as she could have. I wonder what brought about that startling realization.

I think she's a lot more mature and self-aware than people give her credit for. She tries hard to grow. 

[readheaded]

4 hours ago, PicnicLife77 said:

I think she's a lot more mature and self-aware than people give her credit for. She tries hard to grow. 

Agreed. I do think she takes therapy seriously and is introspective enough to try to figure herself out. 

When have we ever heard Kim or Barry say they ever might have done something wrong in their relationships? 

Edited September 29, 2021 by readheaded

[Jeanne222]

7 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I was surprised to hear Olivia say that perhaps she was too critical and stubborn and didn’t handle things with Ma and Pa Plath as well as she could have. I wonder what brought about that startling realization.

Well she's alienated Ethan from his family and now the troubles are in their own home for starters.  She's made Ethan miserable.  Both so very stubborn.  Sometimes you have to just be kind.  Distant and kind.

[JayDub1987]

I'm just watching last night's episode as early morning TV is much easier for me. Quick question.

Micah took his dating app date to their farm to ride his horses. He then took her on a tour of the house, which was still furnished and had unmade beds. Who is living in the house on the farm now and why did Micah just walk through a home that someone else is obviously living in with a girl and a camera crew?

[readheaded]

3 minutes ago, JayDub1987 said:

I'm just watching last night's episode as early morning TV is much easier for me. Quick question.

Micah took his dating app date to their farm to ride his horses. He then took her on a tour of the house, which was still furnished and had unmade beds. Who is living in the house on the farm now and why did Micah just walk through a home that someone else is obviously living in with a girl and a camera crew?

I think they’re renting it out. 

[JayDub1987]

14 minutes ago, readheaded said:

I think they’re renting it out. 

Gotcha. Those are some very understanding tenants HAHA

[charmed1]

Leah seemed nice and I like how she countered  Micah’s assumption of college being “a waste of money.” I hope that he took the young lady to get something to eat in addition to a horseback ride and some bottled water. I think Micah would benefit from some serious therapy as well. He seems lost and unsure of where he wants to go in life. He seemed to be deeply affected by his brother’s death and expressed sadness about Isaac and Ethan being so close.

[JayDub1987]

8 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

Leah seemed nice and I like how she countered  Micah’s assumption of college being “a waste of money.” I hope that he took the young lady to get something to eat in addition to a horseback ride and some bottled water. I think Micah would benefit from some serious therapy as well. He seems lost and unsure of where he wants to go in life. He seemed to be deeply affected by his brother’s death and expressed sadness about Isaac and Ethan being so close.

I think it's safe to assume that all these kids are going to need therapy. It cannot be overstated how much Kim and Grinning Barry have effed their kids up. Humans are (mostly) naturally inclined to be social beings who learn about ourselves and others by interacting with people who aren't just like us. The fact that these kids were only allowed to befriend people who were raised just like them is saddening and sickening. I'm not sure that they'll all end up getting professional help, but they will sure as hell all need it.

 

Kim and Barry are so terrified that their children may fall into the deep, dark hole of soft drinks and TV shows (which they have no problem profiting from) that they've created their own little family cult where anyone who doesn't look, act, and think like them are the enemy. Additionally, Kim's hypocritical stance on sugar continues to crack me up, as she looks more and more like a bowling ball the more episodes I watch.

 

 

[bichonblitz]

2 hours ago, charmed1 said:

I think Micah would benefit from some serious therapy as well. He seems lost and unsure of where he wants to go in life.

They all are lost and unsure of where they want to go in life thanks to Ma and Pa Plath. The fact that got his license revoked or suspended or what ever is a red flag. At the ripe old age of 20 and not able to drive anymore. How may accidents did he have before that?  

I wish Micah would keep pursuing his modeling career while he is still young enough. His modeling photo's are outstanding, he could go far but he said last night that he's losing interest. The life span of a modeling career is not very long, he should go have a blast doing it for the next 5 yrs or so, get to see the world and save some money while he is doing it, then focus on a different career after that. Micah, are you listening? lol!

Edited September 29, 2021 by bichonblitz

[bichonblitz]

2 hours ago, JayDub1987 said:

Additionally, Kim's hypocritical stance on sugar continues to crack me up, as she looks more and more like a bowling ball the more episodes I watch.

Right???? Must be loading up on carbs. Lots of mac n' cheese, potatoes, biscuits and chips! 

[Ziggy]

6 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Right???? Must be loading up on carbs. Lots of mac n' cheese, potatoes, biscuits and chips! 

Mmmm, carbs!  I remember the days when we thought "fat free" meant, "Eat as much as you want with zero guilt!"  Oh, I'm so screwed up :-)  And addicted to carbs!

[RedDelicious]

Ethan is miserable because he's afraid of everything and wants to stay in his little bubble in Plath-adjacent-ville. He's afraid of having fun (he said so himself) and he seems to be afraid of being friends with people who aren't related to him. That isn't normal or healthy. I see shades of Barry's behavior in Ethan which is to be expected but is also not okay. If Ethan wants to be the boy in the bubble, he should stay there and not hold Olivia back from living a normal life. In other words, if he wont get help to overcome his fears, help him build healthy relationships and grow as a person, especially in his own marriage, he and Olivia should cut their losses. She deserves better.

ETA: I dated a guy who was a closeted fundy who had behaviors very similar to Ethan's. I've written about him before. He was also afraid of having fun and being friends with people who weren't pastors or in some form of church employ. He was in counseling but he would only go to a "faith based" counselor who yessed him to death. These people who just want to stay in their bubbles are extremely resistant to change and growth. It really is better just to get out and move on.

Edited September 29, 2021 by RedDelicious

[PicnicLife77]

It seems to be coming to light that the core issue between E and O isn't really the move but that she doesn't feel accepted by him. I wonder what more there is to this? I like and support both of them, but it's interesting. I wonder if it's in an emotional sense, as in he isn't as into her or in a Barry-and-Kim sense where she feels judged. And if so I wonder what those issues are. Clothing choices? Marijuana in California? Things like that? Does Ethan have a controlling side like B and K? Or is he simply afraid of change and so conditioned to only be attracted to the very lifestyle that damaged him?

[Rootbeer]

I don't think it is a problem of acceptance as much as it is that Olivia has changed in ways that Ethan has not.  When they first married. she was fine with living in Cairo; she seemed perfectly happy to put down roots and they bought a house.  In part, I expect that the ongoing conflicts with his parents are at least part of the reason she doesn't want to stay, but. also think that, as she broke away from her fundy parents, she also started to see the wider world out there and now wants a broader range of experience than can be found by staying in Cairo.  Meanwhile, Ethan doesn't seem to like change much and also wants to remain physically near his brothers and sisters.  I think this is not uncommon when two people marry very young, especially when they've both had rather sheltered childhoods.  They didn't know when they married that they were not going to evolve in the same direction.  Happens all the time and is nobody's fault.

I do think Ethan is suffering emotionally and would do well to receive some therapy and, that, with therapy, he might be willing to consider other options.  For that matter, once she gets a taste of life in a small apartment in a big city, Olivia might find she is more suited to small town life than she thought.

[Madding crowd]

Ethan and Olivia are just 22 and starting out in life. Ethan works full time repairing copiers and likely meets people while doing his job. I have never heard him say he wants to be fundie, be like his parents or never do anything enjoyable .I have lived in the city my whole life but I  know several people who like living in the country. Doesn’t make them an idiot or a dolt as Ethan has been called. He has agreed to move but doesn’t want an apartment which is just as valid as Olivia wanting one. Considering she hangs around with Ethan’s 18 year old sister and Micah’s friend, I’m not sure Olivia is as worldly as she proclaims.

The scene where Micah brought his date to the old farm ( now air b&b) was interesting . I noticed he mentioned their old house was messy and chaotic all the time and he didn’t seem to have fond memories of living there.

[RedDelicious]

I called Ethan a dolt because he closes himself off and doesn't want to grow, learn and figure things out. 

1 hour ago, PicnicLife77 said:

It seems to be coming to light that the core issue between E and O isn't really the move but that she doesn't feel accepted by him.

I think you hit the nail on the head. That is one of the primary reasons I ended things with Mr. Closeted Fundy. I had to accept all of his restrictions for what he would and wouldn't do, but he couldn't accept me for who I was and the things I wanted to do. For us to get along, he wanted me to live like him.  

Not for nothing, copiers are usually in a space by themselves because they make noise and are disruptive to office environments. Even if Ethan does meet people while doing his job, I scarcely doubt he actually talks to anyone. 

It's actually the perfect job for him.

[Madding crowd]

We don’t see Ethan at work or know what he does the majority of time he isn’t on TV. I believe he does want to grow but at his own rate and time. To me owning a home and having a job at age 22 is ever bit a sign of growth as getting a tattoo or nose stud. How does Olivia make friends? She travels to other cities a few days a month to photograph weddings. Most people are too busy at their wedding to befriend the photographer. 

[PicnicLife77]

1 hour ago, Rootbeer said:

I don't think it is a problem of acceptance as much as it is that Olivia has changed in ways that Ethan has not.  When they first married. she was fine with living in Cairo; she seemed perfectly happy to put down roots and they bought a house.  In part, I expect that the ongoing conflicts with his parents are at least part of the reason she doesn't want to stay, but. also think that, as she broke away from her fundy parents, she also started to see the wider world out there and now wants a broader range of experience than can be found by staying in Cairo.  Meanwhile, Ethan doesn't seem to like change much and also wants to remain physically near his brothers and sisters.  I think this is not uncommon when two people marry very young, especially when they've both had rather sheltered childhoods.  They didn't know when they married that they were not going to evolve in the same direction.  Happens all the time and is nobody's fault.

I do think Ethan is suffering emotionally and would do well to receive some therapy and, that, with therapy, he might be willing to consider other options.  For that matter, once she gets a taste of life in a small apartment in a big city, Olivia might find she is more suited to small town life than she thought.

I completely agree with this, and maybe she's using the wrong terminology, but she has said multiple times and appears to say again next week that the issue is that he doesn't accept her. Initially I took this the same way, that he didn't accept her new desires in life, but the more I listen it sounds like she's feeling he also doesn't accept her as a person. 

[JayDub1987]

5 minutes ago, PicnicLife77 said:

I completely agree with this, and maybe she's using the wrong terminology, but she has said multiple times and appears to say again next week that the issue is that he doesn't accept her. Initially I took this the same way, that he didn't accept her new desires in life, but the more I listen it sounds like she's feeling he also doesn't accept her as a person. 

I think Ethan and Olivia were good for each other when they got together at 18 (I think?). She's discussed how similar their families were, and she was obviously looking to get away from hers. And all of Kim and Barry's kids need to get away from them. However, I just don't think that they still work as a couple, and that's OK. Maybe they were just supposed to get each other out of the hellish lives that they were born into. I don't think Ethan still accepts her, and she deserves someone who does. Similarly, he deserves someone who is fine with small-town living. 

18 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

We don’t see Ethan at work or know what he does the majority of time he isn’t on TV. I believe he does want to grow but at his own rate and time. To me owning a home and having a job at age 22 is ever bit a sign of growth as getting a tattoo or nose stud. How does Olivia make friends? She travels to other cities a few days a month to photograph weddings. Most people are too busy at their wedding to befriend the photographer. 

He said he travels into Tallahassee for his job as a copier repair guy.

[RedDelicious]

We saw Olivia in action last season. She's good with people. If you're going to be a successful photographer, you have to be able to build trust with your clients and forge lasting connections (and in turn great photos) by really getting to know them. Most photographers around here started out with wedding photography and as their clients progressed through various seasons of life, they (the photographers) branched out to maternity, baby, family, senior portrait and professional headshots. It's not transactional - it's about building relationships and Olivia seems well suited for it. Part of me thinks Ethan doesn't like Olivia investing her time in others, and wants her just to stay with him.

[Madding crowd]

Olivia does adventure/travel weddings where people get married at unusual locations. She isn’t doing family photography and is in a different place all the time. I did hear Ethan say he works in Tallahassee, but I don’t see how that proves he doesn’t talk to people or want/have friends. We only see the storyline the show wants us to see. I think they are both doing great considering the lack of education, fundie upbringing and young age.

[SongbirdHollow]

9 hours ago, readheaded said:

I think they’re renting it out. 

Yes, it’s on Airbnb 

[JayDub1987]

2 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

Olivia does adventure/travel weddings where people get married at unusual locations. She isn’t doing family photography and is in a different place all the time. I did hear Ethan say he works in Tallahassee, but I don’t see how that proves he doesn’t talk to people or want/have friends. We only see the storyline the show wants us to see. I think they are both doing great considering the lack of education, fundie upbringing and young age.

If he's a traveling copier repair guy, he probably spends much of his work day alone in a vehicle. Once he gets to where he's working, it's probably more of a deal where he goes in, fixes their copier, and leaves. A friend of mine is in the same line of work, and he talks all the time about how he has little to no human interaction on a daily basis. However, he loves that fact LOL.

[Ms.Lulu]

The reason Micah could walk into the farmhouse is that they are renting it out on airbnb.  No address here, so I hope it is okay to put the link:  https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/39961821?source_impression_id=p3_1632960464_VkME5NKiFeAIMeL%2B&guests=1&adults=1

The cabin on the farm is also available.

Kim is a superhost.

Edited September 30, 2021 by Ms.Lulu

[Back Atcha]

3 hours ago, Ms.Lulu said:

Kim is a superhost.

This alone cracks me up.

[Back Atcha]

9 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

I noticed he mentioned their old house was messy and chaotic all the time and he didn’t seem to have fond memories of living there.

I'd bet there are nine different opinions and experiences...depending on each kid's place in the family.   I remember chaos...especially on Saturdays when we three girls (starting at 6, 8, 10) had to help our struggling "separated" mother clean the house.  My memory (I'm 10) is that our mother yelled at us to get up, yelled at us to do the work her way, yelled at us that we weren't doing anything right.  My sister, the 6yr old, remembers that "Saturdays were the greatest. We played the radio and sang along while we were all doing our jobs.  The work was finished in no time."

Wouldn't it be fun to have each kid visit the old house and take us on "their" tour?

[Back Atcha]

13 hours ago, charmed1 said:

I think Micah would benefit from some serious therapy as well.

AND a college education!  Start as small as possible--if he can even get into college.

13 hours ago, JayDub1987 said:

Kim and Barry are so terrified that their children may fall into the deep, dark hole of soft drinks and TV shows (which they have no problem profiting from) that they've created their own little family cult where anyone who doesn't look, act, and think like them are the enemy. Additionally, Kim's hypocritical stance on sugar continues to crack me up, as she looks more and more like a bowling ball the more episodes I watch.

This cracks me up.  I bolded it to keep it separate from the first sentence--which should be borrowed by the producers and used to introduce various episodes of the show.  SUPERB!!   (P.S. And why does SHE get to wear jeans and her daughter's can't?  Is she modeling for The Gap?"

[JayDub1987]

9 hours ago, Back Atcha said:

AND a college education!  Start as small as possible--if he can even get into college.

This cracks me up.  I bolded it to keep it separate from the first sentence--which should be borrowed by the producers and used to introduce various episodes of the show.  SUPERB!!   (P.S. And why does SHE get to wear jeans and her daughter's can't?  Is she modeling for The Gap?"

Thanks. Now I can't get the image of Kim modeling out of my head. 

[overtherainbow]

Obviously we don't know the whole story and they are very different people, but I wonder if there's a slight possibility that the reason they drifted apart as well is because Ethan is actually a lot more controlling than Olivia lets on. Considering the kind of environment he was raised in, even years after moving out it's often hard for people to let go of that and remove a part of that from their personality. She definitely seems to feel boxed in.  There is more to this than they are telling us.

Edited September 30, 2021 by overtherainbow

[Baltimore Betty]

I am not shocked they are in their current situation, most people who were in an abusive, controlling home life for their entire life should figure themselves out first before they get married, I am sure sex was one of the factors for them marrying young, if you don't know yourself and have had trauma in your life how could you enter in to a relationship where you should easily be able to have emotional intimacy but with so much noise going on in your head I do not see how you would have a successful relationship.

Also, the older Plath kids are all nice looking and seem only to find and hang out with equally good looking people, how does that happen?

[JocelynCavanaugh]

On 9/29/2021 at 11:34 AM, bichonblitz said:

The fact that got his license revoked or suspended or what ever is a red flag. At the ripe old age of 20 and not able to drive anymore. How may accidents did he have before that? 

I don’t remember anything about accidents, just a lot of speeding tickets. Micah seems kind of impulsive and not great at self-regulating.

Is it just me or is Helena a bit dull? I barely remember her from the last season, but on the beach trip every time she talked I ended up skipping ahead. The way she speaks is excruciating to me, and she doesn’t say anything interesting. I kind of feel bad for her being so obviously hung up on Micah while he’s out on dating apps getting plenty of non-Helena attention. It happens to a lot of people, but I’m afraid Helena’s processing speed is going to keep her from moving on in time to avoid major damage.

Barry and Kim get plenty of much-deserved criticism and I’m no fan of either, but I’m not finding any of these main characters all that sympathetic either. I understand they’re products of their upbringing, but they’re all a little bratty, too. I was impressed that Olivia owned up to her part in the poor relationship with her in-laws. She normally strikes me as someone who thinks she’s more mature than she actually is, but that was real progress. Begrudging points to Olivia, MVP of the episode due to attrition!

[RedDelicious]

2 hours ago, overtherainbow said:

Obviously we don't know the whole story and they are very different people, but I wonder if there's a slight possibility that the reason they drifted apart as well is because Ethan is actually a lot more controlling than Olivia lets on. Considering the kind of environment he was raised in, even years after moving out it's often hard for people to let go of that and remove a part of that from their personality. She definitely seems to feel boxed in.  There is more to this than they are telling us.

The skating rink episode was a real eye opener for me with regards to Ethan's potential true colors. His behavior when they arrived at the rink is what I was referring to when I said I saw shades of Barry in Ethan. When he was getting out of the car/getting away from Olivia and she asked where he was going, his response of "nowhere" was so cold and sneering. He was really nasty to her and she didn't deserve that. He could have said I just need a minute to cool down. I felt so bad for Olivia in those scenes. After he skated around and actually began enjoying himself, he became Mr. Nice Guy again and said he was sorry. But what if there hadn't been an activity to diffuse Ethan's nastiness? It reminds me of that meme with the hand slapping a giant piece of tape on a gushing water tank.

[Back Atcha]

2 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

On 9/29/2021 at 9:34 AM, bichonblitz said:

The fact that got his license revoked or suspended or what ever is a red flag. At the ripe old age of 20 and not able to drive anymore. How may accidents did he have before that? 

I don’t remember anything about accidents, just a lot of speeding tickets. Micah seems kind of impulsive and not great at self-regulating.

I agree...speeding.  It's not that he can't drive "anymore," it's a suspension for a specific amount of time.  His license wasn't revoked.  No matter how short the period, any kid will think it's too long.  Any driver will think it's too long.

[Back Atcha]

2 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

She normally strikes me as someone who thinks she’s more mature than she actually is, but that was real progress.

I have the opposite opinion.  I think she TRULY IS more mature than other Plaths on the show...and she has good insight for someone of her age-- expecially with her background.

[TrininisaScorp]

I'm not terribly impressed with any of these people, and much of that, IMO, comes very much from the environments they were raised in.

Very much my opinion - I completed agree that the fun, happy, silly Ethan isn't actually the real Ethan.  I think the cold, closed off, and kind of rude Ethan is more natural to him.  He's a damn adult, but rarely acts like it, and when he gets to a place, his coldness is offputting.  Does he even like Olivia anymore?  If she is "so different" and he doesn't like what she is, he should walk away and let her go too vs. this continual cold shoulder.  "I need to cool off" is a totally acceptable answer to your wife; the silent treatment and childish "nowhere" are not, IMO.  Olivia is a pain at times, but it feels like she is the only one trying to wrap her head around the situation, and finding where her responsibility for causing some of the issues is.  Ethan is too angry to be introspective, and Kim/Barry literally think they have done nothing wrong.  Everyone is to blame.  The moment all of them realize that is the moment they can possibly heal the relationships.  But, do they even want to?  Ethan seems so angry all the time.  Olivia seems so sad all the time.  Kim and Barry, who IMO hold the most responsibility, don't seem to feel any kind of way other than sad they can't talk to their child (but also have no interest in changing their behavior that got the child upset in the first place). 

I know sometimes there is a lot of "Well, Olivia made Ethan isolate from his family" and such.  I don't know about that feels fair from my POV...Ethan may be sheltered, but he is a whole person, and many of the older kids seem to have a level of anger about the way they were raised and how their parents, particularly their mom, use the siblings against them. Olivia has a POV about her in-laws.  Ethan's anger comes from the past (parental treatment and how his parents also treated his wife) and his accountability (not defending Olivia when they were shit talking). Ethan may or may not resent her, but the separation, IMO, wasn't totally all on Olivia. 

[Jeanne222]

Many kids tend to blame their parents for all of their lifes problems.  Even though mom and dad warned about such a rushed marriage Ethan went full steam ahead.  Now every problem he and Olivia encounter is mom and dad's fault.

Barry and Kim are raising nine children according to their beliefs.  Who are we to judge.

College is available.  Why don't they sign up?  Nope it 's The parents fault!  Maybe they're lazy kids.  Micah hasn 't even been returning modeling calls.  Mariah had to be a handful for most parents.

The oldest daughter and the praying daughter seem to be living their faith.

These kids need to get their own acts together and stop blaming parents raising their family according to their faith.

If you want to read about dysfunction read The Glass Castle.  There's some real shame in that game.

[lightninggirl]

The fact that Micah related that his parents discouraged college/university both angers and saddens me. I shouldn't be surprised but I actually seethed when I heard him say that. It is just another disgusting way for Kim and Barry to keep their children ignorant and dependent upon them while exercising their unending control.

The rest of the episode was really a nothingburger.

[Twopper]

They have shown that family picture in at least two episodes.  All I can say is that those brown dresses the girls are wearing are some of the most hideous dresses I have ever seen including the red dresses Ma Duggar had her girls wearing.   That is all I got from this episode.

[gingerella]

On 9/29/2021 at 4:21 AM, Jeanne222 said:

Well she's alienated Ethan from his family and now the troubles are in their own home for starters.  She's made Ethan miserable.  Both so very stubborn.  Sometimes you have to just be kind.  Distant and kind.

I don't think she's alienated Ethan from his family. Kim and Barry, the Dumbfuck Parents, have alienated their kids from themselves. Ethan finally heard that his wife felt belittled and chastised and ostracized by his parents and that she needed her husband's full support with that situation. Ethan had no choice but to distance himself from those toxic parents because they will never change, so he had to. The thing is, Ethan hates change and is extremely change-averse, so while he knows he did the right thing for his wife, he also hates that it makes his siblings unavailable to him now unless he grovels at the feet of said toxic parents. Both Ethan and Olivia are in a no win situation. And it will never get better because Ethan won't take therapy seriously and go regularly so he will never address his issues and try to fix them. It's so sad because he could have a great life with Olivia if he just got it together.

[Jeanne222]

On 9/27/2021 at 10:31 PM, Ms.Lulu said:

DBM  sorry  

 

So now Olivia is having the same problems with Ethan that his parents had. 

Strong willed and stubborn and will not take advice. 
 

 

Edited October 1, 2021 by Jeanne222

[TrininisaScorp]

17 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Many kids tend to blame their parents for all of their lifes problems.  Even though mom and dad warned about such a rushed marriage Ethan went full steam ahead.  Now every problem he and Olivia encounter is mom and dad's fault.

Barry and Kim are raising nine children according to their beliefs.  Who are we to judge.

College is available.  Why don't they sign up?  Nope it 's The parents fault!  Maybe they're lazy kids.  Micah hasn 't even been returning modeling calls.  Mariah had to be a handful for most parents.

The oldest daughter and the praying daughter seem to be living their faith.

These kids need to get their own acts together and stop blaming parents raising their family according to their faith.

If you want to read about dysfunction read The Glass Castle.  There's some real shame in that game.

With respect, I fundamentally  disagree.  They agreed to and make good money off putting themselves on TV about their really **interesting** beliefs and parenting, so I'm 100% going to feel comfortable having some opinions.   

I do agree that not all Ethan and Olivia's problems are Kim and Barry's fault, but a lot of the kids have problems that stem pretty directly with the way they were raised. Kim and Barry specifically worked to raise them out of society, and the initially marketing of the show was about the pride they felt at the kids not having sugary drinks or knowing who Spiderman was.  Well, now the kids who are growing into adults struggle to function in society, and all the siblings we've met seem emotionally stunted.  I refrain from too much comment about the eldest daughter b/c while she certainly may be following their whole thing, she also made sure and moved herself away. 

I highly recommend Educated.  It's about a young woman raised in a fundy lifestyle, and it created a feeling in me that, in fact, these young people have every right to be pissed about the way they were raised according to some version of a faith.  It feels like the highest level of narcistic behavior to me to say that "other Christians" aren't Christian enough, as though it is a contest, but people like Kim and Barry are absolute in their belief that they are better than other people.   Micah alluded to that when talking about the lack of friends and such they were allowed to have. I believe there is blame all around, but to absolve Kim and Barry of the parts they played in having and raising a mess load of kids like this (as we see over and over) isn't possible for me.  I wouldn't have never known about them if they didn't put themselves on tv.

Edited October 1, 2021 by TrininisaScorp

[Jeanne222]

I'm thinking from what Ethan said he is supporting his wife.  He bought the house and he pays the bills.  At least last episode he said 'you aren't happy with what I have given you'.   He's pretty darn handy fixing copy machines and able to repair and redo cars.  That takes some talent that you don't need college to do.  Everybody seems to think the end all is college but there are people making a very nice living in the trades.

Ethan, Micha and Moriah are all free now.  Free to pursue their own wants, desires and happiness. 

I watch the Bates and Dugger families and they are happy as can be except for that one bad apple in the bunch..Josh.  They were all raised fundy and they survived.  Those girls are beautiful and very ambitious and no college there on any of them except one or two of the SIL's.

Believe me I have no dog in this race but I just felt like Kim and Barry were getting a black eye and wanted to speak up.   Maybe we don't agree with their parenting but maybe they don't agree with ours either. 

Luckily all of us aren't appearing on a reality show so we aren't being torn to pieces for our parenting. 

I'll be concluding my support until next episode. 

[Xena]

4 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I watch the Bates and Dugger families and they are happy as can be except for that one bad apple

That's happy?  Brainwashed?   No choices?  No diversity in thought\personlity\relationships?   If that's happy, I must be the most miserable person on earth.  

 

Edit to add - so happy for the children of the corn who are breaking free of their shackles.  Ethan's plight shows how hard it is, when you have been sheltered and not allowed to have friends \ significant others with different thoughts and beliefs of their own.  He will make it, but not without difficulty.  Not so sure he and Olivia will be together, but they are both learning, and I  think they will both be better people at the end of this (if together or apart).

 

Edited October 1, 2021 by Xena
Add the Plaths into the discussion!

[bichonblitz]

On 9/29/2021 at 3:47 PM, Madding crowd said:

To me owning a home and having a job at age 22

Do they own that home? I was under the impression they rented because Olivia acts like all they have to do pack and go. 

[bichonblitz]

On 9/30/2021 at 12:45 PM, JocelynCavanaugh said:

I don’t remember anything about accidents, just a lot of speeding tickets. Micah seems kind of impulsive and not great at self-regulating.

I thought he had a really nice sports car and totaled it. I do remember seeing the car but I could be wrong about him wrecking it.  

[b2H]

On 9/30/2021 at 2:45 PM, TrininisaScorp said:

9 hours ago, TrininisaScorp said:

I refrain from too much comment about the eldest daughter b/c while she certainly may be following their whole thing, she also made sure and moved herself away. 

 

Yes, she did move far away.  As in Indiana.  Momma ain’t just dropping in or using spies at that distance.

[emmawoodhouse]

1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Do they own that home? I was under the impression they rented because Olivia acts like all they have to do pack and go. 

This is apparently going to be addressed on next week's episode.