S13.E08: Family & Friends & Feelings, Oh My!

[ByTor]

56 minutes ago, glitterpussy said:

Jose continues to be unbearable.  I'm dying to know why they haven't had sex.

I thought they said they did.

[Kira53]

 

On 9/8/2021 at 11:20 PM, Adeejay said:

I can’t help but believe that something happened between Zach and Michaela to which viewers weren’t privy.  And, given how adept Michaela was in lying to the other ladies, I am not sure we will ever find out what happened.

 She has shown a great ability to lie quickly and adeptly. What she told Zack how she would resolve disagreements was totally a lie. I do believe she has a personality disorder an/or a mood disorder. A mood disorder can get better with medication but the personality disorder is here to stay. Either way, Zach has been here before, and knows he doesn’t want to be in a toxic relationship that can’t be fixed. The producers knew Zack‘s past experience and deliberately picked the unstable Michaela as his wife.

I believe her sisters did not come to the warming because they didn’t want to Address what’s wrong with Michaela.  They know the truth about her and they always knew that. You know that Michaela has given her sisters her version of why she “had to” act crazy and those sisters had to disappear/not to show up because they would have been asked about those nasty behaviors. her brother-in-law definitely didn’t wanna be there.  If pressed, I think he might have said something that was truthful and his wife would never forgive him.

On 9/9/2021 at 1:39 AM, buttersister said:

Michaela’s friends were lying. Bring back her sisters.

See above.

On 9/9/2021 at 1:06 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

I’m calling it right now. Michaela has a borderline personality disorder. Generally, people who have personality disorders don’t think they have a problem and don’t seek help; it’s the people around them who end up seeking help because they cannot deal with the disordered person. Zack realizes that Michaela has emotional problems and that’s not what he signed up for. Her sisters know she has a problem but make it a “cute” thing, referring to her as a hurricane/tornado/I cant remember. A real expert would not have been fooled by how Michaela presented herself at the interviews prior to being chosen for this shitshow.

 Experts don’t get to pick and the producers knew exactly what Michaela was capable of. When they call you a hurricane it is not some thing that a normal person is proud of but her family thought that was a good way of expressing her personality. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

36 minutes ago, Kira53 said:

I believe her sisters did not come to the warming because they didn’t want to Address what’s wrong with Michaela.  They know the truth about her and they always knew that. You know that Michaela has given her sisters her version of why she “had to” act crazy and those sisters had to disappear/not to show up because they would have been asked about those nasty behaviors. her brother-in-law definitely didn’t wanna be there.  If pressed, I think he might have said something that was truthful and his wife would never forgive him.

Very insightful observation. A++

[Auntie Anxiety]

4 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

The other day I was looking at characteristics of narcissist and found it interesting that it’s more common in men, usually not feeling love or approval from a parent, only caring about their own feelings rarely considering others feelings  plus an exaggerated sense of their own attractiveness. . Hmm raise your hand  Johnny because you ain’t that cute and you best go back to another 100 first  dates. 

I’m pretty good at picking up Narcissistic Personality Disorder because I used to be married to one and when I encounter one, in life or on tv, my reaction is visceral. It’s kind of like a combination of whistles, red flags, and screaming meemees. That doesn’t happen with Johnny. He seems very damaged and did the whole frat boy/serial dating/life of the party schtick as a way to “self-medicate.” To me, he’s a bottomless pit of need. In the first episode, he matter-of-factly stated that he longs for affection. A NPD wouldn’t have that kind of self-awareness, I don't think.

Edited September 10, 2021 by Auntie Anxiety

[Kira53]

20 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Yes I understood the money over there. I didn’t make my question very clear. Why does Gil have his money in Columbia and not the USA and why couldn’t she see it and how much?  

I think he said he sent all his extra jobs money since he was quite young over there!

I don’t know. I like Gil but something seems a bit off on that one. 

It was my understanding that the money was going there to take care of his mother.  I wonder if Myrla sends shoes to her mother?   Both Gil and Myrla grew up extremely poor, they just reacted differently to money issues as adults. In addition, Gil is a relatively new junior fireman.  I read somewhere he recently qualified as a junior Fireman. I think Gil looks through the lenses of how far that money would go in his home country while Marla looks at what she can buy for herself with her money. Neither is right or wrong but they’re hell a far different.  Gil was a physical trainer before that, So he probably didn’t have that much money to send to his mom before

3 hours ago, glitterpussy said:

My take on Johnny is that he is subconciously recreating his father's rejection over and over. He needs to be in a situation where he's running after the woman. With Bao she's all over him, so it's uncomfortable for him. He doesn't know how to receive approval and love. He's a goddamn mess.

Same for Hurricane K. Unbelievable that she just thought some fake tears and eyelash batting would fix it with Zach. He ain't having it. She is so fake. Fake with the other wives, her friends, the experts and her husband. Very scary.

WTF, I liked Myrla this week a little bit?! So she can afford her tacky bougie stuff after all. Fine then. I don't see why she would be lying about credit card debt.  She single, no kids, makes a good living and obviously isn't spending all her money on her apartment...lol. And maybe she's fine with making more and financing the finer things she wants. If Gil doesn't care, then maybe? Her face and hair are so distracting. I get you don't want to wear much makeup and IRL she probably looks ok, but you're on TV! You need it! And that long stringy greasy hair is doing you no favors

Jose continues to be unbearable.  I'm dying to know why they haven't had sex. And what gives him the idea that his "finances" are something to talk and brag constantly about? His family seemed well over it. Rachel ain't impressed.

 I think the producers egg him on regarding his financial successes. Jose is so proud of what he’s done he doesn’t see that they make getting fun of him. Oh and they both said they had had sex a couple of days into the honeymoon. ,

[Jeanne222]

2 minutes ago, Kira53 said:

It was my understanding that the money was going there to take care of his mother.  I wonder if Myrla sends shoes to her mother?   Both Gil and Myrla grew up extremely poor, they just reacted differently to money issues as adults. In addition, Gil is a relatively new junior fireman.  I read somewhere he recently qualified as a junior Fireman. I think Gil looks through the lenses of how far that money would go in his home country while Marla looks at what she can buy for herself with her money. Neither is right or wrong but they’re hell a far different.  Gil was a physical trainer before that, So he probably didn’t have that much money to send to his mom before

 I think the producers egg him on regarding his financial successes. Jose is so proud of what he’s done he doesn’t see that they make getting fun of him. Oh and they both said they had had sex a couple of days into the honeymoon. ,

If I remember correctly Gil said his odd jobs money has been going over there since he was young. 

I thought he meant a savings account since money was their topic discussion. 
But maybe it is for his mother. 

Gosh I thought he was a long time Fireman. Been reading they are really underpaid. 

[AussieBabe]

1 hour ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I’m pretty good at picking up Narcissistic Personality Disorder because I used to be married to one and when I encounter one, in life or on tv, my reaction is visceral. It’s kind of like a combination of whistles, red flags, and screaming meemees. That doesn’t happen with Johnny. He seems very damaged and did the whole frat boy/serial dating/life of the party schtick as a way to “self-medicate.” To me, he’s a bottomless pit of need. In the first episode, he matter-of-factly stated that he longs for affection. A NPD wouldn’t have that kind of self-awareness, I don't think.

As someone who was once with a narcissist, I see more of the traits like manipulation, gaslighting, the change in cadence, body language, subtle micro aggressions, etc. in Michaela. Johnny is no doubt in need of therapy. He absolutely has daddy issues and needs to be healed. 

Michaela, though? The fact that she hurt Zack with her words and actions and only apologised because it sounded good but didn’t really feel empathy jumped off the screen. Her ability to lie with such ease is another pause for concern. Her straight faced lying to Zack and his parents about her conflict resolution styles were classic mirroring. Like it sounds absolutely wonderful like when you’re taking the piss and BSing through an interview. The change in her voice and body language during this week’s episode was scary. That head tilt was the stuff horror movies are made of. “We’re married, Zack.” You were also married when you irrationally packed your bags and moved out because he stepped outside of the home without messaging you—after you declared that doing just that was abusive in your eyes. It was two hours. He didn’t pack his belongings and leave permanently. I noticed that she was escalating, and he backed up a bit so she changed her tone and inflection to be calmer. Then, the “sweet” side came out like, “Our marriage is young.” She admitted to being vindictive. She admitted to knowing she hurt him, but there’s no sense of urgency to even promise to do or be better because she doesn’t care. She even said even if she had known that he would be upset about the cancellation, she probably would’ve still done the same thing. Oh so you know you’re hurting him and you still want to do it? The lack of self-awareness and empathy are glaring. When he asked her, “How do you think your behaviour made me feel,” and all she could say was textbook sentences like, “I think you’re hurt.” No real understanding of how he felt or why and then to ask…well, when are you going to be over it was also a problem. Like his feelings and being hurt or concerned weren’t falling in line with her timeline of needing to get to her level of normalcy.

[kristen111]

4 hours ago, Kira53 said:

I’m calling it right now. Michaela has a borderline personality disorder. Generally, people who have personality disorders don’t think they have a problem and don’t seek help; it’s the people around them who end up seeking help because they cannot deal with the disordered person. Zack realizes that Michaela has emotional problems and that’s not what he signed up for. Her sisters know she has a problem but make it a “cute” thing, referring to her as a hurricane/tornado/I cant remember. A real expert would not have been fooled by how Michaela presented herself at the interviews prior to being chosen for this shitshow.

I’m so happy to have read your post.  It totally makes sense.  My Cousin is like Michaela and was driving me crazy.  For a month now, I won’t answer my phone anymore as she was calling me five times a day with her problems.  As a result, my blood pressure went way down, seriously.  She was killing me, so I chose me and ended our friendship.  She was always right and lied thru her teeth.  I couldn’t win with her.  Thank you.

[Gypsy Blue]

I'm glad to see some of us are easing up on Myrla.  I didn't care much for her in the beginning, mainly because of appearances.  But as I started to like and understand her a bit, I did not understand the hate towards her.  She doesn't ever badmouth Gil and seems to speak to him and about him with affection.  I think they do actually like each other.

I totally get her spending.  I used to spend a ton of money on clothes, but really only wore a handful of them.  That's because I bought cheap clothes whenever I had the opportunity.  They never lasted long, never fit well, and were quickly relegated to "at-home wear" while I bought something new.  I recently had to replace everything I own.  Since I had a fair amount to do that with, I decided I'd splurge and buy a few expensive outfits.

What I've learned is that I can spend roughly the same amount of money, fewer shopping trips, and clothes that last longer and fit better.  I don't wear the red bottom shoes, and am well past the age where I'd be wearing spiked heels.  But I do buy quality expensive shoes that are in the same range.  Like Myrla, I only have to shop a couple times a year, and I shop when I have the money to do so comfortably.  I don't carry credit card debt either.  I live in a smallish house that is nothing spectacular because I don't need a big fancy house.

I think some of the things she does to make herself look younger age her a bit.  I think she might be a bit insecure because she knows she's getting older.  Going without makeup, however, is commendable and smart for her skin.  I follow a skincare guy religiously.  His skin is flawless, but usually has this glowy, almost greasy look to it.  I just noticed the other day, it reminds me of Myrla's skin.  I think she probably has a skincare routine to keep her skin healthy, either as repair or as preventative, but comes off looking a little greasy.  I have nothing good to say about her hair, but I'm beginning to like her so much, I'll give it a pass.

Johnny, you're going to break Bao's heart and drive her away, and you're going to regret it someday.  I hope she never takes you back.

Ryan is an introvert, but I think he really likes Brett.

Rachel, I'm not sure you have the confidence to leave Jose, but I hope you at least stick up for yourself and keep being the lovely person you are.

Zach, I didn't think I would like you, but I do.  Run away, don't look back.

[princelina]

14 hours ago, Booger666 said:

Honestly asking, what are you all seeing with Mikaela that I’m missing?  The only aggressive thing I remember her doing is slamming down what looked like paper towels when Zach wasn’t in the apartment.  I’m not clear on if Zach texted about the dog day care and when he got home - she seemed genuinely upset and clueless about where he was but I don’t think he’d lie over something like that.  After their fight totally understand not wanting to host a party when things are tense.  Don’t recall seeing or hearing any physical, verbal or emotional abuse coming from Mikaela, but absolutely believe Zach is feeling very anxious around her.  The editing is bizarre.

Others seem to have covered her behavior in Houston, so I'll go back to the tantrum on the honeymoon because he was sick.  She didn't just cry "Oh this sucks" and then calm down; she kept wailing and yelling at him about it, because she was married and supposed to be with her husband dammit!!! 

Actually I have a conspiracy theory about that 😄 .  Because they had the wedding, the day-after brunches, they had sex, flew to Mexico and then he wasn't feeling well and she returned home, and apparently everyone except Zach was fine.  But I believe they said he showed up 5 days later with flowers, saying he tested negative.  I just wonder if he didn't feel a little under the weather and production decided a Covid storyline would be awesome; he agreed and she had a tantrum because she wanted to be on a honeymoon on tv, not the sad covid bride who got sent home early.  The timing of everything just seems off.  But what do I know 😃

 

 

[Blissfool]

On 9/8/2021 at 10:42 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

He didn’t want to wake up to a boiling bunny.

Or a Misery situation. 

On 9/8/2021 at 7:57 PM, kristen111 said:

So kill me.  I feel sorry for Johnny.  He doesn’t feel it with Bau, and he’s petrified and sorry he went into this experiment.  He took a chance for some reason, and it isn’t working, so far.

Johnny's dad: "I told you so."

On 9/8/2021 at 8:12 PM, Katie111 said:

I think Johnny thinks he is a lot hotter than he actually is.  

Those sunglasses behind the neck said a lot 

 

[Blissfool]

On 9/9/2021 at 12:02 PM, shannew said:

Gil couldn't wait to spill the tea to Myrla.    Not attractive to me that a man gossip like that, it's one thing if she asked. 

I thought it was cute. It showed a connection. 

"Girrrl, don't worry. I won't tell anyone (except my husband.)"

On 9/9/2021 at 4:44 PM, JocelynCavanaugh said:

 

Yes! It's so strange. In real life, Ryan is the kind of guy I'm friends with, went to college with, generally know and like. He seems to have a hilarious wit when it actually makes an appearance, and he has one of the most adorable doggie puppy bebes ever on the show, so there must be some good inside him. He comes across as passably intelligent and self-aware... and yet, the Resting Blank Face.

I kinda have a crush on Ryan. I love a man that does manly things and knows how to order good food. And although he is quiet, I can tell he's thinking snarky thoughts. 

 

17 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think the reason why Johnny was reduced to tears was that he was presented with just about the most perfect woman for him and yet he still couldn't find her acceptable or warm up to her.

I'm curious to see what exactly is Johnny's type. They way he and Bao talk about college-Johnny, it seems like he might have dated crazy party girls.

[zenme]

On 9/9/2021 at 1:09 AM, endure said:

Myrla owns her shit and she is one of the most confident women I’ve seen on this show.  She is constantly being judged but she doesn’t appear to let it get to her at all, at least not so far.  They seem to play off each other so they might accept and even enjoy their differences……i can see them both being strong but accepting and vulnerable too…. I really hope they fall deeply in love. I can see a lot of respect and shared values.

Myrla likes being teased about being a “princess.” That validates her. I wouldn’t feel too bad for her. She’s fine with it.

[Gator Stud]

On 9/8/2021 at 6:00 PM, Elizzikra said:

I find myself… liking Myrla. She doesn’t have credit card debt and she has savings so I’m going to lay off my shopping criticisms (which I should maybe aim at myself anyway)… and she was cute with Gil’s mom…

Me too.  I've been harshing on her, but Gil did confirm that she has healthy savings, so I take back what I said back about her spending too much $$$ on her clothes. 

[Gator Stud]

On 9/8/2021 at 8:30 PM, Elizzikra said:

I think the whole debate about Bao's shower schedule has been blown completely out of proportion. I'm sure that, a majority of the time, Bao showers daily. She probably misses one every once in awhile when she's tired or isn't feeling well or has just had one of those days. 

I think Johnny gets so in his head and so stuck on little things that he can't really get out of his own way enough to figure out if he be attracted to Bao or not. I think Bao is a great catch. She is gorgeous, smart, gainfully employed, self supporting... If she doesn't tick all of Johnny's boxes, Johnny needs to reevaluate his boxes.

Girlfriend needs to shower after working out or after travel.  Periodt point blank. Nonnegotiable. What happened to Jose's checked boxes?  Did Rachael agree to give her banking username and passwords to Jose?

On 9/8/2021 at 8:58 PM, mythoughtis said:

The savings in question was  first his version of a retirement plan, and second ….. money for his Mom  to live on in Columbia.

In Miami and Texas people do this all the time. Send money back to Cuba or Mexico.  I think it is admirable. But Gil was being kinda cagey with his amount of savings.  Does he have zero or low savings? Unclear.

[Gator Stud]

On 9/9/2021 at 6:41 AM, Empress1 said:

Debts, savings/assets, and I think most importantly, approaches to money (how much do we save for emergencies, retirement, what’s our slush fund, what’s our “anything over this amount requires discussion” amount, etc.) should all be laid bare. I couldn’t be with someone who could afford to save but did not. Jose is annoying and a saver to what appears to be an extreme degree, but he’s right that financial issues are one of the leading causes of divorce. Money matters.

I thought Gil being shocked that Myrla spent $350 a month on groceries was weird. that’s not excessive to me. $150 every three weeks, which is what he said he spends, is very lean. I guess he eats at the firehouse when he’s working, but still - he was like “$350?!” and I was like “So?” That’s less than $90 a week.

I worked for eHarmony and Activision in LA.  They provided breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I only paid for food on the weekends, and sometimes Fridays I would take leftovers for the weekend.  His $150/3weeks spending would make sense for me that he eats at the Firehouse for free. 

[seacliffsal]

When Myrla said that she only goes shopping a couple of times a year I thought that she might go to the after season sales and get deep discounts on what she buys.  I used to get really nice/expensive shoes on sale (but not red soles or high heels) as they last forever and the same for nice purses (now that I'm retired I don't need as many clothes...nor do I have the income that I had while working...).  That made a lot of sense to me as she also has savings and is credit card debt free (I'm envious as that is what I'm currently working towards).  My attitude towards Myrla has changed quite a bit as we have gotten to know her better.

I know this will sound strange, but I think having the covid scare at the start of the honeymoon was probably the best thing that could have happened to Zach (and I would never have thought that if he suffered for months and it was a devastating case of covid) as it kept him away from Michaela.  I think she would be far worse if they had deepened their relationship, but the covid scare put a halt on their relationship (and I think it's far better to deal with this situation when he has friends, family, and his own place nearby).  I hope this didn't sound too awkward or that I would want anyone to have covid, it's just that I think time and distance were the best things for this relationship.  I am glad that Zach has awareness of the precarious nature of this relationship.  However, I am sad that he seemed to really want to be married and this is how it ended up.

I, too, like Ryan.  Some of the snarky comments he makes (at times under his breath) are exactly what I would want to say.  

[Maximadc]

On 9/9/2021 at 10:39 PM, Jeanne222 said:

Yes I understood the money over there. I didn’t make my question very clear. Why does Gil have his money in Columbia and not the USA and why couldn’t she see it and how much?  

I think he said he sent all his extra jobs money since he was quite young over there!

I don’t know. I like Gil but something seems a bit off on that one. 

Money laundering 

[Maximadc]

On 9/10/2021 at 1:44 AM, Yeah No said:

You really have nailed Michaela here - thank you for bringing this up.  I admit I'm a bit weary of labeling the disorders of the wackos on this show so thank you for doing it for me, LOL.

Oh yeah for sure any real expert would have seen her coming a mile away, but I personally think they love to cast volatile people like her because they amp up the drama.  It's really evil and irresponsible though because these are real people and real lives they're messing with - and they never know when one of these wackos is just crazy enough to snap and hurt themselves or someone else.  They should know that people this far gone are a risk.  And I don't buy that they couldn't see her coming.  I guess they haven't learned their lesson from season 2 and Jessica's restraining order.  It's all about the ratings with them, screw how they hurt people in the process, both emotionally and possibly physically too.

 

100%. I feel so bad for Zack. He is just a toy in this Mental Hunger Games series.

 

 

 

 

 

[Flip Flops]

As soon as Mikaela threw down the Lysol Wipes in anger because Zach had left without saying something , I thought “No thanks”. 

[Empress1]

3 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I worked for eHarmony and Activision in LA.  They provided breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I only paid for food on the weekends, and sometimes Fridays I would take leftovers for the weekend.  His $150/3weeks spending would make sense for me that he eats at the Firehouse for free. 

Fair, but he didn’t seem to recognize that not everyone does that given how shocked he was at Myrla’s grocery budget. I spent $81 today on groceries for the upcoming week, and I typically spend $70-$80 a week as a single person who eats the majority of meals homemade (and is a very good cook, it’s one of my hobbies). I don’t know if Myrla can cook but her $360 a month on groceries (and she said it fluctuates) doesn’t sound crazy high to me.

I think Gil also says he buys the same stuff every week, which sounds boring to me but again, cooking is equal parts necessity and hobby for me.

[mythoughtis]

== I don’t know if Myrla can cook but her $360 a month on groceries (and she said it fluctuates) doesn’t sound crazy high to me.==

Especially if she is buying cleaning supplies, personal products, etc too. I usually pick those items up when I’m buying food. 

My guess is that Gil eats out regularly on non work days, which reduces the grocery list too. 

Edited September 11, 2021 by mythoughtis

[Blissfool]

And you know Myrla isn't shopping at no Piggly Wiggly. She's shopping organic and she's shopping at Whole Foods.

[princelina]

And if she's not a cook she's buying premade meals, which are more expensive.

[LuvMyShows]

Mikaela on Unfiltered came off very poorly when she was talking about feeling like she's under a microscope and she had to be on eggshells to show she's not this confrontational person.  Yes, girlfriend, it's called consequences.

She also said that after the Pastor Cal visit, she and Zack had a phone conversation, in which he said they talked and reconciled, but she said really it was only a few sentences and then he said he had to get off the phone, which pissed her off.  So she felt like why would she want to be with him at a housewarming when he had been like that.  Again, going with her first emotion, rather than calming down before making any rash decisions.  She also said that she gets over things quickly and seemed resentful that Zack takes longer...well, duh, he was the one on the receiving end of some serious sh*t from her!  

13 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I just don’t get this whole money thing at all.  If they fall in love and stay together, they have one account.  If she has kids and stays home, he’s the sole provider.  Everything is 50/50.  A stay at home Mom is an expensive job in itself.  He will be the sole provider.  She knows her lifestyle will have to change.  Kids are expensive.  That’s if they stay together, which I don’t know about that.  I didn’t hear Gil sends money to his Mother.  That’s very admirable.

I don’t think Myrla is as bad as she seems.  She knows things will have to change.  ( I’m repeating myself up there while making breakfast and typing).  Half awake.

Unless she is a good actress and this is the role that has been scripted for her to play (which wouldn't be out of consideration for this show), I really don't get the sense that she has any belief or intention that things will have to change.  She has said it repeatedly, to lots of people, in a pretty adamant way.  But I am a little confused about the stay at home mom part...I don't see why that would have to happen if they fall in love and stay together, nor why they would need only one bank account.

10 hours ago, suzeecat said:

According to her friend at the party, he has NEVER seen her show any PDA with anyone.  RED FLAG right there!  I'm pretty introverted myself and I can manage a kiss for someone I care about.  This girl has intimacy issues, big time. 

I really wish they had explored that more.  He even said something like "in 13 years" or however long it had been.  All we've heard from her is going slow and what she won't do in certain timeframes, but we've never heard what she actually has done in any timeframes.

21 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

The savings in question was  first his version of a retirement plan, and second ….. money for his Mom  to live on in Columbia.

So this was confusing.  I inferred as well that the second account, since it was in Columbia, was money for his mom.  If that's the case, then it shouldn't count at all towards their savings, but he was having it count, although with the caveat that it's not very accessible.  If he just wanted to show Myrla that he would have had a lot more, but he has been putting money aside for his mom, then that's great....but that is not how he presented it, so it definitely wasn't clear. 

15 hours ago, azprimadonna said:

From the subtle comments (Johnny says "We'll talk about this later") and other comments that have been made indicate to me that Bao and Johnny have two different relationships.  The on-camera relationship is where they try to talk reasonably about their issues and off-camera, they are big time fighting.  

  Hide contents

Johnny has said on Unfiltered that he has not spent one night in the apartment with Bao, so the scenes where they spend quality time in bed is so much BS.  

 

OK, I went back to listen to this, because I remember him saying something about not spending the night, but I couldn't remember how far-reaching it was or wasn't.  So, near the end of the Unfiltered from August 24, they played a clip of Bao and Johnny talking, and then Myrla was stunned by it and asked Johnny, "You left, like, the first night?"  And Johnny replied, "I didn't stay there after honeymoons, no."  I think he had to have been referring to the fact that after the honeymoon, he didn't stay there, which was true, but he came back the next day.  I can't imagine that the producers would have let his comment be broadcast if he really never spent the night there again after the honeymoon, especially at this point in the season, when as a couple they are nowhere near the Mindy and Zach level of dysfunction where we 'officially' found out that Zach was not staying in the apartment.

[Yeah No]

On 9/10/2021 at 7:17 PM, Kira53 said:

It was my understanding that the money was going there to take care of his mother.  I wonder if Myrla sends shoes to her mother?   Both Gil and Myrla grew up extremely poor, they just reacted differently to money issues as adults. In addition, Gil is a relatively new junior fireman.  I read somewhere he recently qualified as a junior Fireman. I think Gil looks through the lenses of how far that money would go in his home country while Marla looks at what she can buy for herself with her money. Neither is right or wrong but they’re hell a far different.  Gil was a physical trainer before that, So he probably didn’t have that much money to send to his mom before.

What bothers me is that Gil, his friend and even people watching the show think Myrla spends too much but yet she is the one with the bigger bank account and no credit card debt (I believe her I don't see why not).  If she has a modest apartment at least she's saved something to make it worthwhile.  It's noble that Gil is supporting his Mom but why isn't he talking about changing that somewhat now that he's married?  Myrla didn't sign on to be told she has to scale back so that he can support his family, especially when she saves more money than he does that can potentially be used to benefit both of them.  Something is unfair about that picture, but she isn't even complaining to him about it!  She seems OK with what he's doing, so why is he being so hard on her?  Just because she has a bigger budget for personal expenditure than he does?  That's not fair - she has more disposable income. 

I think Gil is looking at this from the POV of a man (much like José) that thinks his woman should give over her income to him to control and spend as he wishes and he begrudges her wanting to spend anything on herself.  It also irks and threatens his macho self image that she can afford to do so.  That's why he's making cracks about her spending all the time.  And I can't help but see that as a sexist attitude, which I also felt coming from his male friend.  Why should she be shamed for not wanting to live in his dumpy apartment or told give up her wardrobe when she can obviously still have those things because together they can afford better?  So he can continue to send money to his Mom but expect his wife live poorer than she or both of them together can really afford?  Why doesn't he see her savings as potentially benefiting both of them to enjoy a higher standard of living?  Because he wants to be the one in control of her money, where they live, how they live, how much they spend, etc. and doesn't like it that she might be able to spend any of her own money on personal care without needing his consent.  He is not looking at this as an equal partnership.  She has said that she won't change her lifestyle for anyone, but I see no real reason why she has to compromise her standard of living if she or they together can afford it.  Obviously she can afford to help them find a better place to live AND keep her present lifestyle, so what is his and his friend's problem with that exactly?  She should be barefoot and pregnant and let him control her financial situation?  Ummmm.....No thanks!  No wonder she hasn't kissed him yet.  And she shows a lot of class taking all of his criticism of her in stride without any push back or argument with him about the way he chooses to spend his own money.  She just stands her ground politely.  I am actually admiring her more every week.

Edited September 12, 2021 by Yeah No

[kristen111]

13 hours ago, Blissfool said:

And you know Myrla isn't shopping at no Piggly Wiggly. She's shopping organic and she's shopping at Whole Foods.

 

Speaking of Myrla.  There was one snippet of a scene that sold me on Myrla.  She was sitting outside somewhere, and Gil pulled up in the fire truck.  She got the biggest smile on her face when seeing him, and walked over to the truck to speak with him.  She likes him, a lot.  I have a feeling they will fall in love and make it.  They talk to each other, listen, and banter, which is good.  She has a nice disposition.

 

[Gator Stud]

On 9/9/2021 at 9:43 AM, StatisticalOutlier said:

This really grates because I don't think any female babies emerge from the womb thinking, "I hope nobody sees me before I have a chance to put on some lipstick and a little mascara."  So where does that come from? 

People don't ever say about a man, "He looks sickly.  He needs to do a little sumtin-sumtin, especially at his age." 

My problem with Myrla's looks is that she has those eyelashes that look unnatural, which creates a mismatch when she doesn't have a face full of makeup to go with them.  That mismatch is jarring to me.  And her skin texture is kind of slick, like it's the product of facials or dermabrasion or whatever, which also looks unnatural to me. 

Interesting.  I wonder if that factors into people's harsh judgments. 

I think I am into Myrla now. You should always look your best when you first start dating someone and especially on TV.  Guys get trashed for looking ghostly. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

It's noble that Gil is supporting his Mom but why isn't he talking about changing that somewhat now that he's married? 

Maybe he isn't planning to change it. Maybe he plans to continue to help her for the rest of her life. There's nothing wrong with that.

Quote

I think Gil is looking at this from the POV of a man (much like José) that thinks his woman should give over her income to him to control and spend as he wishes and he begrudges her wanting to spend anything on herself.

I don't read Gil this way at all. I think that Gil just thinks it's ridiculous to spend $800 on a pair of shoes or $2,000 on a bag, whether you technically can afford it or not. That's fine; he's allowed to have that opinion. Many people do. I don't think that he should dictate to Myrla what she can and cannot spend her money on, but I don't think that he is calling out the designer items because he feels entitled to her income. 

I do think that, if they are going to stay together, they have to figure out finances in some way. Myrla can continue her "bougie" lifestyle (and I say that as someone who also likes designer items and hair extensions - I'd do eyelashes too but I'm allergic) and Gil can continue with a more frugal approach. I think they have to figure out what they will consider to be their "joint" income that will dictate where they live, what they drive, where they travel and how often, etc. But they can still each maintain separate accounts to use how they like. I think this is an entirely solvable problem if they want to solve it.

Quote

Speaking of Myrla.  There was one snippet of a scene that sold me on Myrla.  She was sitting outside somewhere, and Gil pulled up in the fire truck.  She got the biggest smile on her face when seeing him, and walked over to the truck to speak with him.  She likes him, a lot.  

I saw that too and I thought it was sweet. I'm not sure they will make it but I did think there was some genuine affection in that scene.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

Maybe he isn't planning to change it. Maybe he plans to continue to help her for the rest of her life. There's nothing wrong with that.

No but then why is that OK but it's not OK for Myrla to spend money on herself just because he supports his mother?  Especially if she can afford it and accumulate a decent amount of savings?  I see a value judgment in there that IMO does not belong.  Myrla is getting called selfish and irresponsible when she is not, IMO - I think she is entitled to spend money on some vanity items - I don't see an awful lot of them in her closet, which IS rather small, BTW.  Plus we don't even know how much she bought them for!  I am sure she is not paying list price! 

The point is, she shouldn't have to be Mother Teresa just to match Gil's selflessness.  She isn't spending foolishly by anyone's account, even Gil's - his face lit up with approval at her savings balance.   He should show her some respect for her accomplishments and overall responsibility instead of criticizing her over a few expensive items.  I am just so over self righteous people that try to make someone feel guilty for spending a little money on some frivolous items especially if they can afford them.  We all need to do that sometimes, Gil included, who was himself wearing Gucci sneakers on Unfiltered this week.  So I am sorry but unless she had a big credit balance and no money in the bank, Gil should just STFU.

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't read Gil this way at all. I think that Gil just thinks it's ridiculous to spend $800 on a pair of shoes or $2,000 on a bag, whether you technically can afford it or not. That's fine; he's allowed to have that opinion. Many people do. I don't think that he should dictate to Myrla what she can and cannot spend her money on, but I don't think that he is calling out the designer items because he feels entitled to her income. 

No, it's not that he feels entitled to her income - it's that he wants to CONTROL how she spends her money, and IMO that's coming from a sexist attitude just the same way Jose is coming off as sexist about his and Rachel's finances.  José wants one big account where he gets to control the money.  Gil is showing signs of coming from a similar place.  If not he would just be accepting her right to her control over her own money the way she is respecting his, and concentrating on how they would come together with their money, not issue constant judgment of her personal spending habits.

Edited September 12, 2021 by Yeah No

[Gator Stud]

On 9/9/2021 at 3:43 PM, Jax7917 said:

I couldn’t be in a relationship with either Johnny or Zack . It would give me anxiety that anytime I was upset about something , they’d say they can’t stand the arguing and they are turned off and need a break away from me . In regard to Zacks concerns , I do feel that Michaela is bat shit crazy at times And needs to work on her delivery .. but their marriage is so new , he needs to tell her how he feels and then see if she handles a disagreement differently the next time rather than just holding a grudge . 
Johnny is just Never going to be happy no matter who he’s with . I think he needs the type of girl that would put him in his place rather than a sweet girl like Bao . He walks all over her and he just nitpicks at everything . Also , he keeps saying many times already that he likes her body but I get the idea that he’s not attracted to her facially . 

Disagree.  Its not Zacks job to fix a batshit woman. If they had paired me with her I would be out- onto the next first date as Johnny put it.  Shrinks are supposed to fix batshit people, not your new partner. Also, Machaela left Zack, not the other way around. She seems to lose her shit over every little thing and doesnt know how to count to 10 before responding.

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I do think that, if they are going to stay together, they have to figure out finances in some way. Myrla can continue her "bougie" lifestyle (and I say that as someone who also likes designer items and hair extensions - I'd do eyelashes too but I'm allergic) and Gil can continue with a more frugal approach. I think they have to figure out what they will consider to be their "joint" income that will dictate where they live, what they drive, where they travel and how often, etc. But they can still each maintain separate accounts to use how they like. I think this is an entirely solvable problem if they want to solve it.

Yours, mine, and ours is the most equitable thing to do with an income disparity, as it appears they have. They spend and save a percentage of their joint income, and whatever is left is theirs. For Gil, maybe that goes to supporting his mother; for Myrla, maybe it’s for her shopping. I agree that this is a solvable problem (though I think it’s moot because I don’t think they’ll make it).

[seacliffsal]

I really think that at some point the producers have an obligation to remove someone from the show and fill out the paperwork for an annulment.  I can see how some people with issues can make it through the interviews (many socio/psychopaths can be quite charismatic).  As for the nickname "hurricane" I can also see producers not realizing just how descriptive that truly is.  I am in no way excusing the producers for some of their matches, but I do think people can slip through.  I think they should have kicked off Chris last season (even though Paige made the decision to stay with him) and I think the same about Michaela.  I think we are really seeing just the tip of the iceberg with her and Zach is right (IMO) to stay elsewhere.  There is a point at which the producers should help a participant leave an extremely volatile situation (even if the participant wants to stay due to the allure of being on t.v.).

Oh, and totally unrelated to my previous paragraph-Myrla's grocery bill is quite low considering that she is also buying expensive champagne (per the empties in her apartment [and yes, I realize she probably doesn't buy it all the time...]).

[Chatty Cake]

I feel bad for Bao. Johnny’s a real jerk. He shouldn’t have signed up for the show if he didn’t want to be married. What a baby he was crying and carrying on over nothing.

I think they are making too much of Myrlas spending. She can obviously afford it. She would like to get a house, they need to figure out how to reach that goal. I don’t like her not liking his dog. Hype seems like a sweet boy and all she does is mention that he slobbered on the floor. Get a paper towel and clean it up you lazy spoiled prissy bitch. And it’s time for her to kiss that man and give him a little. They’re married. Be a wife. 

I am in the minority but I think Jose and Rachel are adorable. It’s great that he bought his own home and manages his money well. 

Mikaela needs to change her behavior immediately and grow the hell up. 
 

 

 

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I really think that at some point the producers have an obligation to remove someone from the show and fill out the paperwork for an annulment.

I don’t think they can legally do this; the most they can do is refuse to film them but you can’t force people to marry or split up - can you imagine if you can annul somebody’s marriage for them? Chaos. You can tell people you think they should split up but you can’t force them to do it. I think I read that Pastor Cal advised Paige to split from Chris but all he can do is advise, he can’t divorce him for her.

I would bet my last dollar that the contracts they sign absolve the show from liability if things go south; I think that’s standard for reality shows.  If I recall correctly, in one of the early seasons before I started watching, one of the wives had to get a restraining order against her ex and the show is still going.

[Lindz]

On 9/8/2021 at 6:13 PM, Katie111 said:

Jose needs to stop talking to everyone about their finances.  I don’t know how any of my married friends handle their personal finances.  

He. Brought. Out. The. Whiteboard!!!!! WTF?!?!! 😅😂

[Lindz]

On 9/8/2021 at 7:02 PM, Straycat80 said:

Zack sounds like he’s done already. 

He should be. She's an erratic liar.

[AussieBabe]

I really want people to go back and listen to what her sister said and how she described Michaela during these fits of rage.

While they were getting ready for the wedding, Michael’s sister said Hurricane K comes in “fast, hot, mean, brutal, destructive, and then, she settles all down like huh?”

Michaela followed up by saying, “When Hurricane K comes in, I’ve been pushed, and it is all business. I don’t care who the f-ck you are, what the f-ck you do, and how much money you make. When I come out of it, it’s like, “I’m sorry, such and such. If my husband is who he needs to be, I’m not concerned. He’ll be able to manage it.”

What part of that sounds appealing to deal with two weeks or at any point in? That man has every reason to be worried, and he doesn’t even know Hurricane K exists and that’s what her family calls her.

[LuvMyShows]

On 9/10/2021 at 7:11 AM, Vanderboom said:

Johnny is so caught up in what Bao isn't that he fails to appreciate all that Bao is.

Yes!

On 9/10/2021 at 3:57 PM, glitterpussy said:

He needs to be in a situation where he's running after the woman. With Bao she's all over him, so it's uncomfortable for him. He doesn't know how to receive approval and love. He's a goddamn mess.

Well, actually, he said the opposite.  He made very clear in his selection interviews that he likes the "stage 5 clingers" who are very needy.  I don't think Bao is all over him.  I think he knows that Bao can do just fine without him, so her love and approval scare the sh*t out of him.  With the clingers, he knows they are damaged goods, so it's not a true, earned love and approval...it's just blind adoration, and he can deal with that. 

On 9/10/2021 at 7:40 AM, ByTor said:

That's just it, she said her shopping happens 2-3 times a year. We don't know exactly how much she spends on each of those trips, but I think she's probably doing fine because she's not doing it all the time.

That may be for her big shopping trips, but I have something in the back of my mind from the very beginning, where maybe they were talking about what they like to do in their free time or something, and she mentioned shopping.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

it's that he wants to CONTROL how she spends her money, and IMO that's coming from a sexist attitude

I understand what you are saying, I just don't agree. I don't think that Gil particularly wants to control Myrla's money. He's not pushing for a joint account the way that Jose is. I think he just thinks that the luxury items she purchases for herself are crazy overpriced. A lot of people think that. 

Quote

I don’t like her not liking his dog. Hype seems like a sweet boy and all she does is mention that he slobbered on the floor. Get a paper towel and clean it up you lazy spoiled prissy bitch. And it’s time for her to kiss that man and give him a little. They’re married. Be a wife. 

I love dogs. I have four. But Myrla was clear about not wanting a dog. Gil knows she doesn't want a dog. She should tolerate Hype because Hype is Gil's dog and I think when you take in a pet, you are responsible for it until the end of its life. But she doesn't have to like it. Constantly cleaning up dog slobber and dog hair and muddy paw prints is a pain in the ass that is really only ameliorated by the love you have for them. If you don't have love for them, it's just a pain in the ass. 

My husband had a cat when I married him. I don't love cats. This particular cat likes to nip at me and claws the shit out of our furniture (and one of my good bags before I learned my lesson about not leaving them where she can reach them). She likes to prance across the kitchen counter when I'm preparing dinner and I'm always scared to death that she will sneak outside when the door is open. I take care of her to lessen the load on my husband; plus she is an animal and is wholly dependent on us for her wellbeing. I don't complain about her constantly. But my husband is definitely aware that when Kitty finally shuffles off this mortal coil, I don't want another one. 

As for Myrla "being a wife," I could not disagree more. Sure, sex is part of marriage (as is kissing and all other physical intimacy). But there is no timeline. No obligation for her to do her "wifely duties" until and unless she is ready and willing. She doesn't owe Gil anything.

[Retired at last]

I just wonder at what point does Myrla generally feel comfortable enough with a date to kiss him good night? She and Gil have been living together (supposedly) for more than 2 weeks now, so he is clearly not a stranger anymore. And I also wonder how long her dating relationships have lasted, because there aren't too many guys who will wait around for just a sliver of affection.

That said, it assumes some degree of legitimacy to the living/sleeping arrangements and assumes that she shares a bed with him every night. (Which, again, I am beginning to doubt more and more for any of them!)

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 9/11/2021 at 1:15 PM, Gator Stud said:

In Miami and Texas people do this all the time. Send money back to Cuba or Mexico. 

They're called remittances, and apparently people all over the country do it all the time because remittances by immigrants in the U.S. are three times the amount of foreign aid the U.S. sends to other countries.  In 2017, remittances were almost $150 billion.

1 hour ago, Chatty Cake said:

I don’t like her not liking his dog. Hype seems like a sweet boy and all she does is mention that he slobbered on the floor. Get a paper towel and clean it up you lazy spoiled prissy bitch.

It's not her dog, and she doesn't even want a dog, no doubt in part because she doesn't like slobber (Myrla and I have that in common; I'm not sure how she feels about rheumy eyes, but they gross me out).  Why should she have to clean up after it?  The cleaning up should be done, in order, by (1) Hype, (2) Gil, (3) Pastor Cal.  I think Myrla would would be number infinity on that list. 

I actually feel kind of sorry for her because it's annoying to have people pooh-pooh your stated preferences, and she's going to be judged a terrible person because she doesn't want to clean up dog slobber and dog shit.  I ran into the same shit with my insistence that people I went out with didn't have kids, only to be told, "Oh, you haven't met my kids.  They're great!"

1 hour ago, Chatty Cake said:

And it’s time for her to kiss that man and give him a little. They’re married. Be a wife.

As others have observed, she showed real affection when he pulled up in the fire truck.  I think she likes him and if she's not inclined to kiss him--yet--I don't think she should feel obligated to.  If Gil doesn't like it, he can choose not to continue the marriage.  It might seem like a raw deal, but it's no more of a raw deal than being forced into an apartment with a pit bull mix whose owner doesn't come home every day.

2 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

Oh, and totally unrelated to my previous paragraph-Myrla's grocery bill is quite low considering that she is also buying expensive champagne (per the empties in her apartment [and yes, I realize she probably doesn't buy it all the time...]).

I don't know what numbers she was looking at when she said what she spends on groceries.  In Texas, grocery stores can sell wine but not hard liquor, so champagne might be part of a grocery store run, but tequila wouldn't.  So is tequila from the liquor store considered a grocery purchase?  And as someone else noted, people buy all kinds of stuff at grocery stores these days.  I bought bath towels at H-E-B once; I wouldn't consider that groceries, but it's on a grocery store receipt.  Same with cleaning products, batteries, flip flops in Corpus.

[Lindz]

Johnny said he feels like this is like war & the guys are in the trenches with him. WAR??? REALLY??!! WTF?!! No wonder he's where he is. He has the WORST attitude!!! How could he have a successful marriage with such an awful attitude??? EW!

[buttersister]

Quote

We all need to do that sometimes, Gil included, who was himself wearing Gucci sneakers on Unfiltered this week

A gift from Myrla? LOL! Her hobby is shopping and she's alluded to doing it a couple of times a year (sale time, no doubt). She can afford it, she appears to manage her money well, imo her grocery bill isn't excessive, she has her priorities (and until she knows this marriage is going to stick--not that it is--when is she supposed to change her spending/saving habits?). 

Watching 60 Minutes earlier, in the words of a chief who died in service to his firefighters, according to his firefighter sons: As a firefighter, you'll never be rich, but you'll always be happy (doing what you love to do). I hope Gil will be happy in his personal life after this--and I hope Myrla will be, too. Just don't see it happening with each other. That wouldn't make them unusual for this train wreck of a show. 

STFU, Johnny.

[Lindz]

HAAAAAAAA!! Johnny said José feeds Rachel AGAINST HER WILL!!!! 😂😂😂😂

[Kiss my mutt]

2 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I just wonder at what point does Myrla generally feel comfortable enough with a date to kiss him good night? She and Gil have been living together (supposedly) for more than 2 weeks now, so he is clearly not a stranger anymore. And I also wonder how long her dating relationships have lasted, because there aren't too many guys who will wait around for just a sliver of affection.

That said, it assumes some degree of legitimacy to the living/sleeping arrangements and assumes that she shares a bed with him every night. (Which, again, I am beginning to doubt more and more for any of them!)

When Cal was interviewing them as a couple, I think she said she dates someone several months before kissing, so if she’s on the same timeline here maybe by the end of the show! She does seem to be sweet on him which makes her more likable to me to see her defenses down with a genuine smile. 

[Lindz]

On 9/9/2021 at 9:53 AM, shannew said:

I recall Michaela saying at the bachelorette party that she's being her authentic self, but turn around and says she not wanting to share the info on her marriage with the others ladies.   I also remember her saying to the camera that Myrla need to open the F up with the process.   Hypocrite.

Yup! She didn't tell the others cuz they would look at her like she's the psycho she is. They would've had SOME sympathy for Zack leaving & not saying bye, which would've quickly disappeared after she told them she moved out. Heck. They might've even ridden with her on that... until she told them how she cursed him out later... Then again, they might've supported that. She could've told them in a way that didn't sound as bad as it looked. They definitely would've been judgey to the cameras/producers tho. 😅😂 She should hide her crazy actions from the others cuz she should be embarrassed & ashamed.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I understand what you are saying, I just don't agree. I don't think that Gil particularly wants to control Myrla's money. He's not pushing for a joint account the way that Jose is. I think he just thinks that the luxury items she purchases for herself are crazy overpriced. A lot of people think that. 

And I think Gil and those people would be wrong, at least about how "crazy overpriced" some of those things are.  Right now I see brand new in box Louboutin's on EBay and Poshmark similar to the ones Myrla was holding going for between $300 - $500 a pair.  Plus there are other ways to get them that cheap as anyone who watched enough Sex and the City might remember.  Myrla really doesn't have that many pairs if those boxes on the top shelf of her closet are all she has.  I knew all along that she was very careful about how she spends her money.  I've been saying here that I doubted she was irresponsible with her money.  I too was like her once, although I never bought shoes that expensive.  I had a few Coach bags and designer outfits, though.  All of them were purchased at very discounted prices.  My friends used to marvel at the clothing bargains I got.  They thought I was amazing and wanted to know my secrets.  Myrla strikes me as having that kind of talent or she wouldn't be doing as well as she is financially.

Also, over the years my husband has at times owned a few fine items like watches and stereos that are worth money even used.  He has been known to sell them when he's done with them.  Louboutins are in that category.  I know from reading the social media thread that Myrla has at least one item up for sale online right now.  She is no spendthrift.  She is a smart woman that knows the value of money.  At least what she buys has resale value and obviously she is willing to sell her stuff online.  That is no accident, IMHO.

IMHO Gil is not educated enough about such things to know that.  He thinks she is out there wasting money.  Not when the stuff she has are investment pieces.  I am hoping she gives him an education in this!

I sell my unused and used clothing online so this is something I know something about.  I just think the assumptions about Myrla are being blown sky high out of proportion based on appearances.  I think Myrla likes having people think that she can afford to pay $1,000 for a pair of shoes.  To her it is a bragging point to make people think that but it's all an illusion that she likes to perpetuate.  The truth is she can't afford it and doesn't have to because she knows how to get them for less.  She is willing to settle for older and more common styles that cost less.  Her friends and some people watching the show probably wouldn't know that so she can fool them.  The people most impressed by designer names are usually middle class folks or even rich people not into designer names who see that and think a person must have to spend a lot to get them.  But the truth is you can get a lot of them for much less if you know what you're doing, are careful and don't get taken in by fakes.

Also the value judgment about what she spends her money on as if shoes are a waste and an indulgence - I remember a time when women in my mother and grandmother's generation all aspired to own a fur coat.  No one thought it was a waste but a symbol of having made it.  My mother came from nothing and so for her to buy a fur coat was a huge accomplishment.  Of course she could not afford mink so it was something cheaper like muskrat.  Most men would not even know there was any difference, LOL.  But back then most men would have appreciated a woman with enough class to want to own a fur coat.  Those were the values back then.  Now we look at that very differently but the point is that it's all a matter of values and I don't think it's fair to disparage Myrla's.  When my mother no longer wanted her fur coat she sold it to a friend.  It was considered an investment piece.

Also no one would judge a man for owning some fine items.  Some of the things the men on this show have owned are not cheap whether it be their cars like BMWs, nice watches or other items.  But no one made a huge deal about them.  Some people spend a lot on things that most people wouldn't even think are that expensive like fine cookware and knives.  So I still think it's really unfair to judge Myrla for her shoe collection and it still feels sexist to me.  Just because it's fashion it's considered "frivolous".  I don't like the implication.

To Myrla, those shoes are her symbol of having made it - Having come from nothing and achieved some financial success.  Gil criticizing that feels like he begrudges her enjoyment of her success.  If a man acted that way to me about my things I'd take it as a sign that he's telling me I'm too expensive for him.  A lot of men see a woman as a financial dependent that they have to support.  He already supports his mother - now he thinks he has to or will have to support Myrla too.  It's just the way he is probably looking at her as his wife.  Meanwhile she is not asking him to support her.  She supports herself.  She is not making her shoe purchases his responsibility, but the way he's acting makes me think that's the way he is seeing it whether she wants him to or not.  And IMO, it's just another ingrained sexist perspective that some men have.

Edited September 13, 2021 by Yeah No

[Lindz]

On 9/9/2021 at 11:45 AM, Jax7917 said:

Zack keeps saying he’s had confrontational women in the past and it’s a red flag .. maybe the red flag is that you run away at the slightest bit of confrontation ? 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

He said they were, "loud, boisterous, & made a scene." That is inappropriate "confrontation." No one should have to deal with unhealthy, unproductive confrontation. It's perfectly reasonable to walk away from confrontation with a psycho. That crazy behavior is a major red flag. That's different from running from the "slightest bit of confrontation." Apples to oranges.

[Lindz]

On 9/9/2021 at 9:09 AM, Retired at last said:

For her to keep saying that she didn't know he would be upset if she cancelled the party and expecting that to be good enough - did she ask? I am sure she didn't and was just her angry, spontaneous self.

Did she care? No. She thinks she can do whatever she wants & he'll just go along... cuz she's a scary psycho. Like WHAT DOES HER CRAZY MIND EXPECT???? Actions have CONSEQUENCES. I wonder if she's still punishing him for leaving & not saying bye & now he left the apartment & everyone supports & pities him.