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S03.E13: Put on a Sweater and Chill


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Quaylon cracks under pressure from Shavel; Jessica stuns Maurice; Dylan sees Heather's true colors.

They're back!  The season three fools are back on our screens.  Flappy's flap will flap again.  Shawn will desperately try to convince himself that Destinie is his destiny and not a raging beast.  Dylan will realize that Heather is more than a little off.  Maurice will spend some quality time with Jessica's ass.  Please tell me Jessica does not stun Maurice with a pregnancy (does no one think about waiting before having kids? That is, waiting for more than their sperm or egg donor to get out of prison). Tyrice will continue to dream about the ass he is not tearing up; that is, Chanda's. Shavel will continue to pressure and bribe Quaylon to stay with her.  

Original air date 2020.10.09

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OMG, Jessica having a baby would be the worst news ever.  She would be the next Sarah.  

She is a miserable, unattractive and whiny human being and Maurice is going to figure out he can do better.  She would be raising that child as a single mom.

LOL, Shawn worried about that 50k!

Sowee!  I think Destiny is strung out, look at that foot go!  And so proud of resorting to physical violence.  And LOL, girl you go out with that credit card, but remember how declined that credit card was last time.  Ha ha. 

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If you took a shot every time Lindsay complained you'd be drunk by the first commercial break.  

And LMFAO, Scott hasn't even gotten sex yet.  Hilarious!

And HERE is the problem Shavel.  He JUST came out of prison and he has been in for 12 years, the idea of pushing Quaylon into an insta family is bound to fail. 

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OMG, Tyrisha's eyelashes.  I've seen more drag queens with more subtle eyelashes.  

Ha ha, yeah there is a good reason Chandra didn't call....because she doesn't want to talk to you!

Ugh, terrible news, every single person, including that unborn child are in for a terrible time.  Jessica looks downright haggish.  

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LOL, Heather couldn't hold it together for even three hours after Dylan got out of prison.  

She is literally jealous of a 90 year old woman with an oxygen tank.

You just wait until some young waitress or hostess makes eyes at him.  Heather will lose her shit. 

LOL, Heather has crazy eyes!

 

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8 hours ago, RealReality said:

OMG, Jessica having a baby would be the worst news ever.  She would be the next Sarah.  

They should do Facetime so Sarah can give Jessica lessons on the accent to use when yelling at or about her husband.

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Heather is insane.  Is she actually jealous of her old aunt talking to her boyfriend?  Oh excuse me husband.   Dylan was so polite and friendly to them, which is the right thing to do when someone is letting you stay in their home.  She's a mess.

I think it's so funny that Scott is sleeping by himself on the sofa.  Get used to it Scott it's your new permanent bed. I feel so bad for Miley Grace, that poor kid has two shitty parents and I get the feeling Grandma is tired and doesn't really want to raise her anymore. 

Well it didn't take long for Quaalude to get cranky.  I don't think he's ready to be an instant husband/father and I don't blame him, but he probably told Shovel differently when he was in jail.  Now she wants him to be the person he said he was and he doesn't want to. 

Is anyone surprised that Shanda hasn't replied in over two months?  Nope only Tyrice.  His daughter's eyelashes were ridiculous, she looked like she was having trouble seeing.   

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Doesn't Lindsey's chyron description say she's 28? If Mylie Grace is 10 and Lindsey had her 15 years ago, shouldn't she be 25?

Surprised to see Lindsey actually helping move the sofa. Also, that 'allergic reaction' Flappy blamed for his flap sure has been sticking around a long time. He looks more repulsive every time we see him.

Tyrise was really planning on bringing Chanda back to that shabby apartment? The buckling formica countertop, the crooked cabinets, the general air of 'this place was built in the 60's and hasn't been touched since'. Also, I'm less and less convinced that he is an 'engineer', unless it's of the 'sanitation' or 'maintenance' variety. Even so, he should be able to attract somebody better than Chanda (although she looks nice in her talking heads).

Speaking of should be able to attract somebody better, WTF is Dylan doing with Heather?? She looks old enough to be his mom in her talking heads, quite aside from being crazy. I'm assuming these 2 took on these colorful personalities in order to make some quick $. (Does anyone have insight on why Aunt Diane is covered with those bloody looking marks)?

11 hours ago, RealReality said:

I think Destiny is strung out, look at that foot go! 

 Yeah, she was actually twitching all over. I refuse to believe that Shawn owns that nice, chic house. He also looks worse with each episode. I'd be rooting for him to lose his $50K, except that would possibly hurt his ability to support his kids.

Jessica spends her income on buying Maurice fancy clothes and silly haircuts instead of getting her missing teeth replaced. And thinks they're ready to be parents, oy.

After the black screen summing up of the situations of the last bunch of idiots (last week), I assumed we were done with them, finally. Apparently they're back AGAIN in November?

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1 hour ago, SevenCostanza said:

Is anyone surprised that Shanda hasn't replied in over two months? 

Added burn she’s below average and still rejecting him.  For his age he’s reasonably attractive, he should grow up and date a peer like a Yolanda on 90 Day.

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My new fave saying. "Put on a sweater and chill". 

I love Dylan.  I must have fast forwarded through his story, though. What was he incarcerated for and how long was he in prison? 

1 hour ago, sempervivum said:

I refuse to believe that Shawn owns that nice, chic house.

It has to be an AirBnB. 

Jessica pregnant. Oh, god. Her family is going to be thrilled. 

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On 10/10/2020 at 10:27 AM, sempervivum said:

And thinks they're ready to be parents, oy

She’s 33 maybe she feels the clock is ticking.  Especially because he said he wants two more.

On 10/10/2020 at 11:41 AM, bichonblitz said:

I love Dylan.  I must have fast forwarded through his story, though. What was he incarcerated for and how long was he in prison?

He said it was for selling ecstasy to an undercover.  The chyron also mentions residential burglary which is something addicts use to pay for the next fix.  He was in for five years.

Edited by MrBuhBye
It was ecstasy not meth
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1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

I can kind of understand the prisoners (of both genders) NOT wanting to settle down into a routine right away.  They have lived in a FORCED routine for their entire prison terms.  Some of these partners on the outside just seem to want to become the new warden (but with "benefits").

I agree.  I put the blame on the nonconvicts that want to get married the minute their partner gets out of prison.  I could never understand what the rush is, especially when there are children involved.  It's a lot of pressure for the excon to deal with immediately.

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This show gives me life.

Heather is absolutely bonkers, if she wanted alone time with her freshly released man, she should have booked a hotel room. I was hoping Auntie Diane would have whooped her ass. There is no way that is Shawns house, Air B n B yes, dishes laid out on the table like a photo from Better Homes & Gardens. I agree with @MrBuhBye that Tyrices' place is a shit hole, the kitchen is the size of my coat closet and his car and blue suit are probably more valuable, however I am shocked that he hasn't heard from Shonda 😉. I have a feeling that Mr Lips isn't the money bags he claims to be, we haven't seen him drive anything other than his "work truck" a circa 1992 Ford Ranger. Shovel and her man, you can tell he is just getting fed up by her, run home to mom in Houston

 

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13 hours ago, RealReality said:

LOL, Heather couldn't hold it together for even three hours after Dylan got out of prison.  

She is literally jealous of a 90 year old woman with an oxygen tank.

You just wait until some young waitress or hostess makes eyes at him.  Heather will lose her shit. 

Heather's fury at her old auntie who is kind enough to give her a roof was a sight to behold. It was hilarious and kind of cute to see Dylan and Auntie Diane chatting and sharing photos. Heather's blood was boiling! 

No waitress or hostess worth her salt would ever flirt with a man who was accompanied by a woman. The key is to befriend the woman and pay more attention to her than the man. (I say this as a former waitress and bartender who knew what side my bread was buttered on). That being said, clearly Heather will never be able to go anywhere with Dylan without thinking that all women they encounter are throwing themselves at him. She is nutty as an Almond Joy. No waitress, sales clerk, barista, ticket taker at the movies will be safe from her ire. She wanted to flatten her auntie for crying out loud, 

5 hours ago, zenme said:

Dylan’s bonding with the aunts. He seems like a respectful and decent guy. Once he gets in better with the aunts, they’re gonna kick out Heather and keep Dylan. Dylan would probably help out around the house, cut the grass, etc., and be more of an overall positive person. 
Ditch Heather, keep Dylan!!

Well, at least until Dylan relapses and starts selling all her furniture and appliances. 

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When Tyrice opened the front door it looked damaged on the exterior.  I don’t know if it had been shot at or the sheriff had used a battering ram to evict someone or execute a search warrant but holy shit fix that before you rent to a new tenant.

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

It was hilarious and kind of cute to see Dylan and Auntie Diane chatting and sharing photos.

Dylan was trying to fix up Aunt Diane and his dad.  If jealous Heather had a clue she would realize it would benefit her to keep Aunt Diane occupied.  

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12 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

No waitress or hostess worth her salt would ever flirt with a man who was accompanied by a woman. The key is to befriend the woman and pay more attention to her than the man. (I say this as a former waitress and bartender who knew what side my bread was buttered on). That being said, clearly Heather will never be able to go anywhere with Dylan without thinking that all women they encounter are throwing themselves at him. She is nutty as an Almond Joy. No waitress, sales clerk, barista, ticket taker at the movies will be safe from her ire. She wanted to flatten her auntie for crying out loud, 

Heather is a younger version of Grangela.

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1 hour ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

Tyrices' place is a shit hole, the kitchen is the size of my coat closet and his car and blue suit are probably more valuable . . . 

Probably easy to check out.  It still has a couple of tags on it.

They left off part of his job description, I bet.  Like the word "custodial" in front of "engineer."

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I think that all of these people are acting like they ordered merchandise online and now that's its been delivered are finding that it is not working to specifications as promised.  Especially the non-felons here, they are fine as long as their convict sweeties do as expected but as soon as they act like independent human beings they get frustrated and mad. The exception to this would be Destinie who is just a trashy human inside and out. 

I think the almost instant demands for marriage and sex from the ones on the outside and their complete refusal to understand that getting out of prison is a difficult adjustment and requires support and patience from them are the worst.  John's weirdness with Kristiana, for example. But the one I think is absolutely the worst of the worst is Shavel.  For all intents and purposes she has latched onto a man who is still basically a seventeen year old boy and is demanding that he put all his attention and future onto her and her kid. She is an awful person. I hope Quaylon gets away from her ASAP and goes to his mom where he can learn to be a grown free man with the proper support he needs.  I want to slap that woman every time I see her.

Chanda was very clear with the interviewer and producer that she had no use for Tyrice other than for clothes and spending money as soon as she got out. Only Tyrice seems not to see that. I'd say his daughter sees it too but I don't think she can see anything through those false eyelashes. What would possess a person to look in a mirror and think that was a good look? Strange woman.

If I was Lindsey I'd be going out of my mind too. 

Dylan is a very attractive man and has excellent manners.  Heather is a lunatic and both her aunts know it. She needs to leave Aunt Diane's house ASAP before she kills the poor old woman with the stress of the crazy. And Dylan needs to extract himself quick as he can. Heather will probably stalk him and get him arrested somehow in retaliation so he'd better be careful. Too bad he's on parole and can't just leave the state and hide from her.

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Q should be honest with Shavel about his fears. Her pastor seemed nice. But they shouldn't have talked that way in front of her daughter when they were in the car. I thought Heather was joking when she was getting upset. Dylan is well spoken. Chanda used Tyrice,his daughter is right,he probably is obviously embarrassed. Jessica seems very immature.

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9 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

She’s 33 maybe she feels the clock is ticking.  Especially because he said he wants two more.

]

Jessica looks terrible for a 33 year old.  Like really, really bad.  I think she has to be lying because she looks mid-40.  At best. 

11 hours ago, SevenCostanza said:

 

Well it didn't take long for Quaalude to get cranky.  I don't think he's ready to be an instant husband/father and I don't blame him, but he probably told Shovel differently when he was in jail.  Now she wants him to be the person he said he was and he doesn't want to. 

Is anyone surprised that Shanda hasn't replied in over two months?  Nope only Tyrice.  His daughter's eyelashes were ridiculous, she looked like she was having trouble seeing.   

I think Quaylon absolutely told Shavelle that he was ready to settle down and be a husband and father.  

I also don't think Quaylon lied about that.  

I imagine that to survive in a prison environment you idealize your life outside the walls.  You'd have to, in order to survive.  You must imagine that life outside of prison will be perfect and wonderful, like a sitcom.  You'll fully feed into the fantasy of being a husband and father.

But then when you get out, everything is different.  The world is moving fast, you have to make money, you have to "parent" a child who you don't know and is calling you daddy, you have to get along with your girlfriends family, you have the pressure of your own family, you have to try to live in an environment that isn't as structured.  You're not in prison anymore where you pretty much only see and interact with one woman....now you're seeing a world full of young, attractive women.....some of whom don't have children.  

I think its easy to get caught up in a fantasy of what the outside will be like when you're in prison.  But the world outside is overwhelming and full of choices and options you never had in prison.  And I think thats what Quaylon is going through.  If he and Shavel break up, her family will claim that he was just using her for money, but I don't particularly think thats it.....I just think he is overwhelmed and is seeing the truth and not his fantasy sitcom life. 

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I think Dylan is my favorite ex con ever on the show.  He obviously wasn't getting too high on his own supply, since he remains intelligent, well spoken, and he has all his teeth.

Heather is my favorite irrational nut job.  And the best part of all is that there are zero children involved to make me potentially care.

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So I just finished watching this and let me get this straight:  Heather was jealous of her elderly Aunt, who has an oxygen tank attached to her, talking with Dylan?

Run, Dylan, run.  She's not hot enough to be that fucking crazy.  Well, she's not even hot.

Edited by Boo Boo
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On 10/9/2020 at 9:36 PM, RealReality said:

Dylans dad was in Milli Vanilli.

Heather at level 10 in record time! 

Why was she introduced so late in the season.  She is cray cray!

Whew Dylan is a cutie patootie!

I was wondering if she and Dylan were a "backup" couple when filming started but then the (bat)shit hit the fan and they belatedly realized they had reality TV gold.  They really hit the dumpster fire jackpot with this season, but Heather and Dylan have surpassed the other couples.  

Dylan is not only extremely attractive, he's so articulate and well spoken.  I was so impressed by his interactions with the aunts, sharing pictures of his family and just being so goddamned charming.  Most women (that aren't completely and utterly insane) would have been delighted to have their significant other and their family hit it off so well.  But not Heather. 

Dylan was seeing red flags with Heather even before he was released.  However, I still don't think he was prepared for the depths of her craziness.  And he was so gracious to the aunts when leaving, too.  Unlike Heather.  

I normally don't enjoy physical violence on this show, but goddamn...I wanted to smack Shawn upside the head myself so I embarrassingly almost applauded Destinie when she actually did it.  This guy is an even bigger buffoon than Vince.  And at least Vince didn't have any children he was dragging into his idiotic shenanigans.  

Tyrice, I think Chanda took that money and closed the book on your chapter.  I can't think of any reason she wouldn't have contacted you in all this time, except she just didn't want to.  Even if she had been locked back up, she'd have found a way to contact you.  Of course, she probably will contact him again...when she wants some $ added to her books.  And he will likely fall for it.  

I can't wait until next week's episode.  This shit is a like manna from heaven.  

 

Edited by Persnickety1
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On 10/10/2020 at 12:42 PM, MrBuhBye said:

He said it was for selling meth to an undercover.  The chyron also mentions residential burglary which is something addicts use to pay for the next fix.  He was in for five years.

Ohhhh didn't know that. He seems very sincere that he wants to change his life. He actually knows how to talk, too. I don't know how long any of that will last if he keeps hanging with cray cray Heather. 

The only model Heather could have ever been is a porn or nudie model if there even is such a thing. She's disgusting in looks and personality. 

Edited by bichonblitz
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Actutally, Dylan wasn't selling meth, he was selling ecstasy in the club.  That is a higher level of dealing than the usual street addicts we see on this show.  What I mean is that he could be a well educated, well brought up, otherwise normal person who fell into selling some ecstasy in the club as opposed to the trainwreck street hustlers we mostly see on this show.  My fear is that Heather is a trainwreck street hustler type who is going to get him re-arrested just by proximity. In fact, she's crazy and jealous enough to get him re-arrested on purpose so she can put him where she can be sure he won't talk to any other women but her. 

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10 minutes ago, Andyourlittledog2 said:

Actutally, Dylan wasn't selling meth, he was selling ecstasy in the club.  That is a higher level of dealing than the usual street addicts we see on this show.  What I mean is that he could be a well educated, well brought up, otherwise normal person who fell into selling some ecstasy in the club as opposed to the trainwreck street hustlers we mostly see on this show.  My fear is that Heather is a trainwreck street hustler type who is going to get him re-arrested just by proximity. In fact, she's crazy and jealous enough to get him re-arrested on purpose so she can put him where she can be sure he won't talk to any other women but her. 

What about the residential burglary though?  

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On 10/9/2020 at 8:25 PM, MrBuhBye said:

I already hated Heather but this week really sealed the deal.  Are her aunts 20 years apart or was Diane a great aunt?

The Mutant Lip needs to stop talking about intimacy.  You are a trick, nothing more.

Speaking of tricks, for a successful engineer Tyrice sure lives in a depressing shithole.  It looks like one of those nooner motels where the coroner picks up overdosed streetwalkers on the regular.  His daughter is quite the animal trainer, getting those tarantulas to perch on her forehead all day.

Shawn and Destinie, it’s all been said.

Shavel looks like Rerun in drag.

OMG! "animal trainer" 🤣🤣🤣 hilarious!

 

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16 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

I was wondering if she and Dylan were a "backup" couple when filming started but then the (bat)shit hit the fan and they belatedly realized they had reality TV gold.  They really hit the dumpster fire jackpot with this season, but Heather and Dylan have surpassed the other couples.  

Dylan is not only extremely attractive, he's so articulate and well spoken.  I was so impressed by his interactions with the aunts, sharing pictures of his family and just being so goddamned charming.  Most women (that aren't completely and utterly insane) would have been delighted to have their significant other and their family hit it off so well.  But not Heather. 

Dylan was seeing red flags with Heather even before he was released.  However, I still don't think he was prepared for the depths of her craziness.  And he was so gracious to the aunts when leaving, too.  Unlike Heather.  

I normally don't enjoy physical violence on this show, but goddamn...I wanted to smack Shawn upside the head myself so I embarrassingly almost applauded Destinie when she actually did it.  This guy is an even bigger buffoon than Vince.  And at least Vince didn't have any children he was dragging into his idiotic shenanigans.  

Tyrice, I think Chanda took that money and closed the book on your chapter.  I can't think of any reason she wouldn't have contacted you in all this time, except she just didn't want to.  Even if she had been locked back up, she'd have found a way to contact you.  Of course, she probably will contact him again...when she wants some $ added to her books.  And he will likely fall for it.  

I can't wait until next week's episode.  This shit is a like manna from heaven.  

 

The second she told me she tattooed his name in six different languages....I would have taken her off the bench and put her in the game!  

I'd like to see a season of Heather trying to hunt Dylan down after he chews his way out of his restraints.  

I'm disappointed that a 48 year old man is unable to see the game for what it is.  Honestly, he probably got off easy.  The house may be shabby, but its probably in his name and worth something.  If she had really gotten her hooks into him she could have cleaned him out and then taken off.  I hope he has learned a lesson and will find someone more age/situation appropriate next time.  

Also, his daughter was all kinda of weird to me.  The eyelashes were problematic of course, but she kept weirdly swinging her hair.  It looked so unnatural, I can't tell if she practiced in front of the mirror because she was going to be on TV.  

It truly is manna from heaven!

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Tyrice's daughter was definitely putting on a show for the cameras.  Foot long eyelashes and swinging hair say it all.  However, she's not wrong that Tyrice got used by Chanda.  Ah, Chanda of the pure soul and big ass.  How could she ever take advantage of him?  Apparently he will let a significantly younger than him motherfucker with a big ass use him.  Words he never should have said.  We all knew they would come back to bite him in his average ass.  

I want to see Tyrice's son again.  He certainly knows his father was played for a fool on national TV and he is laughing along with us on this ride. 

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On 10/10/2020 at 5:59 AM, AZChristian said:

They should do Facetime so Sarah can give Jessica lessons on the accent to use when yelling at or about her husband.

 

On 10/10/2020 at 8:07 AM, ethalfrida said:

Oh, please, no!!! Please, no!!!

Well, clearly the only way to effectively communicate with black men is with blaccent.  I think its very selfish of you to deny Jessica this opportunity to learn effective communication skills so she can nag Maurice in the most racially insensitive and ridiculous way possible.  

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9 hours ago, RealReality said:

 

Well, clearly the only way to effectively communicate with black men is with blaccent.  I think its very selfish of you to deny Jessica this opportunity to learn effective communication skills so she can nag Maurice in the most racially insensitive and ridiculous way possible.  

You are hilarious. And you’re right on all points.

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4 hours ago, not you again said:

I just saw a blurb for Life After Lockup starting this November, and it looks like it's some of the same boring couples I won't watch, with the addition of Shovel & Q and Flappy & Prison Makeup.  Is that what everyone else understands it to be?  Blech.  I won't watch it.

As long as its not Brittney and Marcelino, I'll probably watch.  LOL.

 

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On 10/10/2020 at 12:36 AM, RealReality said:

Dylans dad was in Milli Vanilli.

Heather at level 10 in record time! 

Why was she introduced so late in the season.  She is cray cray!

Whew Dylan is a cutie patootie!

Who was Dylan's dad? I keep seeing this and I can't figure out if it's a joke or not. Rob Pilatus died in 1998. His son's name is John (Dylan's name is Dylan Ohsicho Smith) and I didn't think Fab had a kid. On IG Dylan says his dad's name is Kevin. 

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