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MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation


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On 9/1/2018 at 7:53 AM, Yeah No said:

As much as the immature side of my brain loves the idea of Jon getting it on with Dr. Jessica, I have to agree with you.  I don't care if there are "loopholes" that supposedly make it "OK", even if that's true, (which I doubt it is) it's still smarmy and speaks of a lack of ethical boundaries and caring how things look to the world.  When you're a professional you have to be concerned with how the public might perceive your actions, so it's not just about "loopholes".   It wouldn't be so bad and not so poorly looked upon if they had waited a few years after they were not engaged in any kind of professional relationship with each other.  It has been done before by real professionals, but especially because they're in the public eye they should have erred on the side of caution. Plus I never had much respect for Jessica or any of the "experts' on this show.  If these "experts" were truly professional experts they wouldn't be involved in this farce and trying to pass themselves off as legitimate.  I am sorry but I may sound like a cranky "old lady" but increasingly, young people today have absolutely no ethics whatsoever and will find any way to justify anything because it pleases them.  They act really serious and defensive about it, but it's still a compromise of ethics.  I apologize if I've offended anyone.  Present company is always excepted!

On 9/1/2018 at 7:37 AM, humbleopinion said:

I work in the mental health field and what Dr. Jessica is doing is completely unethical. I don't care how she and Jon are spinning this, but mental health professionals are not supposed to get involved with any clients, current or former. There is a great power imbalance in any counseling relationship and boundaries exist to protect the more vulnerable party--the client. She might keep claiming that Jon and Molly were never "officially" her clients but she was offering them relationship advice under the guise of being a "professional". If she weren't a "professional", she wouldn't have been hired for the show. She can't have it both ways. I agree completely with what you said and this is coming from a young woman...Dr. Jessica is her 40s. I wouldn't exactly call her a young woman. She and Jon are both old enough to know better, but she's one who's willing to put her professional reputation at stake to pursue some reality show contestant. Plenty of other fish in the sea, for both of them.

  • Love 15
On 8/31/2018 at 11:57 AM, gonecrackers said:

What's happening now is completely unprofessional but being excused just because she's on TV, & please let me explain why I feel that way... True they can claim they're not 'legitimate' therapeutic sessions, but these self proclaimed 'experts' are giving some strong advice & counsel, as well as using counseling tools of the trade with people in very stressful (& in some cases traumatic) situations.

They're basing their ability to do that on their credentials which they mention repeatedly. "Dr." Jessica repeatedly reminds us she's a psychologist, ironically specializing in trauma, & "Pastor" Cal repeatedly reminds us he has counseled who knows how many couples for years...   not only that, but often they're using those tools of the trade to screw around with the people to cause havoc & drama. She's definitely not the only one of course; it happens every season with all the 'experts'; she just happens to stand out more strongly at the moment & this affair, IMO, highlights that lack of professionalism.

None of the 'experts' are true professionals no matter what their damn credentials say.

If these aren't real "therapeutic counseling sessions", then why are the marriages "real" and legally-binding? Why not just hold a "spiritual union" so when if the couple were to split, the husband and wife won't have an actual divorce on their record?

Edited by discoprincess
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1 hour ago, discoprincess said:

If these aren't real "therapeutic counseling sessions", then why are the marriages "real" and legally-binding? Why not just hold a "spiritual union" so when if the couple were to split, the husband and wife won't have an actual divorce on their record?

That's how I feel. If these aren't real counseling sessions, it essentially undermines the entire show. Like @Gobears says, Jessica can't have it both ways. Either she's a reputable psychologist with all the ethical standards that implies, or she isn't.

I'm in therapy. If I found out my therapist had met her partner because he was her former patient, I'd stop seeing her.

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1 hour ago, discoprincess said:

If these aren't real "therapeutic counseling sessions", then why are the marriages "real" and legally-binding? Why not just hold a "spiritual union" so when if the couple were to split, the husband and wife won't have an actual divorce on their record?

They want people to take it seriously - as in it's "real" & "legally-binding", so the only way out is divorce.  But then it's also described as an "experiment" - what a mixed message. Same with- well they're not really counseling sessions ... they want people to take this seriously yet they also want their out so the show & 'experts' (credentials explained so they can be called 'experts'), have no responsibility or liability.

Amazing because real life doesn't work that way - just on TV - but arguably it's not working there either.

  • Love 7
2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

They want people to take it seriously - as in it's "real" & "legally-binding", so the only way out is divorce.  But then it's also described as an "experiment" - what a mixed message. Same with- well they're not really counseling sessions ... they want people to take this seriously yet they also want their out so the show & 'experts' (credentials explained so they can be called 'experts'), have no responsibility or liability.

They want to limit their liability, but they try to encourage the bride and the groom to stay together until the show is over, if not past Decision Day, even if it's apparent things aren't going to work out, if what is alleged is true. Hmmm...

 

On 8/26/2018 at 7:18 PM, humbleopinion said:

Thx to JLAW and crgirl412 for the photos...

Fingers crossed that Jon and Dr. Jessica will be one of the couples on M@FS:Happily Ever After......the spin off show.

 Dr. Jessica would be the ultimate spin off and double dipper...Consultant to the show and giddy in love

I like them as a couple...ethics...smecthics....

If that's true, she either should have to sit out at least one season of M@FS or leave the show all together.

Edited by discoprincess
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2 hours ago, Empress1 said:

That's how I feel. If these aren't real counseling sessions, it essentially undermines the entire show. Like @Gobears says, Jessica can't have it both ways. Either she's a reputable psychologist with all the ethical standards that implies, or she isn't.

I am totally disgusted by Dr. Jessica's behavior and bullshit justification. This woman spends two minutes at the beginning of every episode listing her "expert" credentials. She is absolutely there in a professional capacity, otherwise, why is she there? Also, if she is not "counseling" the participants, then why are the experts even involved past the matching process? Her behavior on this show is even more reprehensible in light of her relationship with Jon. Every single other couple experiencing conflict she has counseled to work through their issues and stick it out. Even Tristan and lying thieving Mia! The one time she got on her high horse and took a participant to task and recommended parting ways was the one with the guy she is now dating. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not, but it looks mighty shady and unethical to me. She needs to be off the show in my opinion.

I never thought I would say this, but I long for the days of Dr. Logan the sexologist. Who knew she would be the most professional third chair expert?!?

  • Love 10

"Tony from Houston"... 

Interesting, that Mia apparently has an ex in Houston, where Tristan wants her to move with him, that still thinks Mia is the best thing since sliced bread!

...Re-watching last week's episode with Pastor Cal making stupid remarks. Sorry, Cal old boy, but I don't think any family has ever existed that never commented to an adult child that they have reservations about something their child's spouse is saying or doing (or even talking about doing).

No matter how old they get, your children are still your children, and while it's true, you should bite your lip a lot, there are still times when legitimate issues relating to your own child's well-being are more important than being polite.

Besides, it wasn't Mia's father doing the talking --it was her sister.

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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On 9/3/2018 at 10:08 PM, Gobears said:

I work in the mental health field and what Dr. Jessica is doing is completely unethical. I don't care how she and Jon are spinning this, but mental health professionals are not supposed to get involved with any clients, current or former. There is a great power imbalance in any counseling relationship and boundaries exist to protect the more vulnerable party--the client. She might keep claiming that Jon and Molly were never "officially" her clients but she was offering them relationship advice under the guise of being a "professional". If she weren't a "professional", she wouldn't have been hired for the show. She can't have it both ways. I agree completely with what you said and this is coming from a young woman...Dr. Jessica is her 40s. I wouldn't exactly call her a young woman. She and Jon are both old enough to know better, but she's one who's willing to put her professional reputation at stake to pursue some reality show contestant. Plenty of other fish in the sea, for both of them.

I generally agree with you.  It would be a rare case where it would be OK with the APA, but it is not forbidden or considered unethical as long as the circumstances are within certain very specific and (in their terminology) unusual circumstances.   The thing is that those circumstances are very defined and rare.  Dr. Jessica probably thinks they are that rare in their case, but I remain skeptical, especially because there is a significant age imbalance and she is the older one.  I would have a hard time believing that she could make a strong case for there being no exploitation involved, plus I'm not even sure they are outside the two year prohibition either.  I agree with you that she can't have it both ways - Either she is a legit professional and had a legit professional relationship with Jon or she is revealing that the show is fake and phony and that her relationship with Jon was never a professional one.  I have been talking about this since day one with this show because I don't see how any real professionals would be involved in it in the first place because to do so would be unprofessional in any capacity.  I once theorized that they sign some kind of agreement that they are not really practicing psychotherapy or acting as professionals on the show, although I can't figure out how that would hold either.  No matter how I look at it, it stinks.

See this:

http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec04/ethics.aspx

  • Love 3
4 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I generally agree with you.  It would be a rare case where it would be OK with the APA, but it is not forbidden or considered unethical as long as the circumstances are within certain very specific and (in their terminology) unusual circumstances.   The thing is that those circumstances are very defined and rare.  Dr. Jessica probably thinks they are that rare in their case, but I remain skeptical, especially because there is a significant age imbalance and she is the older one.  I would have a hard time believing that she could make a strong case for there being no exploitation involved, plus I'm not even sure they are outside the two year prohibition either.  I agree with you that she can't have it both ways - Either she is a legit professional and had a legit professional relationship with Jon or she is revealing that the show is fake and phony and that her relationship with Jon was never a professional one.  I have been talking about this since day one with this show because I don't see how any real professionals would be involved in it in the first place because to do so would be unprofessional in any capacity.  I once theorized that they sign some kind of agreement that they are not really practicing psychotherapy or acting as professionals on the show, although I can't figure out how that would hold either.  No matter how I look at it, it stinks.

See this:

http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec04/ethics.aspx

...And I generally agree with you. I am convinced that the show very carefully chooses its words when it describes its 'professional' "experts". They have legit degrees, I'm sure. However, I don't think they are officially 'counselling' these show participants. 

I mean, hey, I'm pretty sure I could 'counsel' them; I've got over 40 years experience at marriage. But I don't [quite] have a degree in psychology. 

  • Love 1
17 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

...And I generally agree with you. I am convinced that the show very carefully chooses its words when it describes its 'professional' "experts". They have legit degrees, I'm sure. However, I don't think they are officially 'counselling' these show participants. 

I mean, hey, I'm pretty sure I could 'counsel' them; I've got over 40 years experience at marriage. But I don't [quite] have a degree in psychology. 

I do have a degree in psych. but even with that I don't profess to be any kind of "expert" based on that alone.

I just wonder if the APA would recognize any kind of arrangement where professionals don't act as professionals.  I'm not sure that defense would hold water with them.  It's like being a doctor and appearing on a commercial pushing a certain drug, then saying, "well, I wasn't acting in my role as a doctor when doing that, just giving my personal opinion and acting a part".  Ummmm......Sounds like creative loophole making to me.  If they weren't trying to pass themselves off as being professionals in a professional relationship with these participants on the show, it might hold, but they are actively trying to make it look like they are engaging in actual professional counseling with them.

  • Love 5
6 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

Ethical or not, it is...inappropriate for one of the experts to date on the cast.  And I think Jessica needs to step down from the show.  This taints her participation, in my mind, and affects her ability to be neutral when matching future couples or interacting with them.  

I agree with this. I didn't like Molly but Dr. Jessica went after her with more vitriol than she did Mia, who lied and stalked and was arrested at the airport FFS. It makes sense now, though, since Dr. Jessica was interested in Jon and has no interest in Tristan.

She does need to leave the show. The "experts" should not be using the cast for their dating pool.

  • Love 7

After reading the other posts, I’m agreeing that the whole charade or saying she didn’t really counsel him makes the whole show a joke.  Well, and it WAS already a joke, but they do spend a lengthy amount of time spelling out their professional credentials so we will find them somewhat necessary.  

Someone said above Dr J is in her 40’s.  How old is Jon?

  • Love 7
1 hour ago, Happyfatchick said:

After reading the other posts, I’m agreeing that the whole charade or saying she didn’t really counsel him makes the whole show a joke.  Well, and it WAS already a joke, but they do spend a lengthy amount of time spelling out their professional credentials so we will find them somewhat necessary.  

Someone said above Dr J is in her 40’s.  How old is Jon?

30ish. He was 29 when the show was filmed. Amber and Dave are the oldest people the show has had, as far as I know (I didn't see the first two seasons).

Edited by Empress1
  • Love 1

I remember reading something a few years ago from the APA on this issue, using Dr. Phil as an example.  Long story short, they found that dispensing "advice" on a tv show is basically entertainment. not therapy, and that no patient/client relationship was ever formed.  

As an attorney, we too have a voluminous Code of Ethics. The first thing that went through my mind when I saw this is that our code specifically says that if something is not technically a violation, but might appear as such, we as professionals - for our own good and more importantly, for the good of the profession in general - nonetheless should strive to avoid even the "appearance of impropriety."  I have never read (and honestly, am not interested enough to take the time to do so lol) the ethics code for psychologists in whatever state Dr. Jessica is licensed, so I don't know if they have a similar provision or not.... but it seems at least possible, if not likely.  And while I don't think I personally have a problem with Jon and Dr. Jessica under these specific circumstances and am inclined to believe that Dr. Jessica isn't violating the code of ethics under which she practices, I do think it's a hard sell to say that Dr. Jessica isn't giving at minimum the appearance of impropriety.

That being said, regardless of her motivation, I am also inclined to believe Molly was a total bitch to Jon and that Dr. Jessica did her a favor by calling out the behavior.  Maybe bringing it to her intention in that way helped Molly develop enough self-awareness to realize that verbally abusing people is not okay and to then work on developing a healthier way to interact with others.

Edited by SabineElisabeth
  • Love 12
1 hour ago, SabineElisabeth said:

I remember reading something a few years ago from the APA on this issue, using Dr. Phil as an example.  Long story short, they found that dispensing "advice" on a tv show is basically entertainment. not therapy, and that no patient/client relationship was ever formed.  

As an attorney, we too have a voluminous Code of Ethics. The first thing that went through my mind when I saw this is that our code specifically says that if something is not technically a violation, but might appear as such, we as professionals - for our own good and more importantly, for the good of the profession in general - nonetheless should strive to avoid even the "appearance of impropriety."  I have never read (and honestly, am not interested enough to take the time to do so lol) the ethics code for psychologists in whatever state Dr. Jessica is licensed, so I don't know if they have a similar provision or not.... but it seems at least possible, if not likely.  And while I don't think I personally have a problem with Jon and Dr. Jessica under these specific circumstances and am inclined to believe that Dr. Jessica isn't violating the code of ethics under which she practices, I do think it's a hard sell to say that Dr. Jessica isn't giving at minimum the appearance of impropriety.

That being said, regardless of her motivation, I am also inclined to believe Molly was a total bitch to Jon and that Dr. Jessica did her a favor by calling out the behavior.  Maybe bringing it to her intention in that way helped Molly develop enough self-awareness to realize that verbally abusing people is not okay and to then work on developing a healthier way to interact with others.

 

Thank you, this sounds like stuff I've heard from various sources over the years, including a good friend that's a lawyer.  Striving to avoid the "appearance of impropriety" for the good of the profession would be a more professional way to behave, but there may be no rule or penalty against it in this case.  And more often than not today people don't give a crap about the appearance of impropriety.  We used to be a culture that was all about doing things for the appearance of propriety.  I think it was good that some of that went away, but these days it even extends to stuff like this, which I think is sad.

Edited by Yeah No
  • Love 2
On 9/7/2018 at 2:42 AM, Yeah No said:

Thank you, this sounds like stuff I've heard from various sources over the years, including a good friend that's a lawyer.  Striving to avoid the "appearance of impropriety" for the good of the profession would be a more professional way to behave, but there may be no rule or penalty against it in this case.  And more often than not today people don't give a crap about the appearance of impropriety.  We used to be a culture that was all about doing things for the appearance of propriety.  I think it was good that some of that went away, but these days it even extends to stuff like this, which I think is sad.

I don't like the "appearance of impropriety" part. There are still many professions (including schoolteacher!) where it will get you fired. 

On the other hand, what a patient says to their psychologist/psychiatrist/priest is supposed to be private, never made public, and never repeated to others. And this show is broadcast on TV!

  • Love 2
1 hour ago, Lion18 said:

Sonja from 2 seasons ago- I can’t remember the grooms name. Well, the life coach from the show ended up with the groom. They have twins  so it has been done before

The life coach (Heather) was not on the show she hosted a show on Afterbuzz about the show, she reached out to Nick and Sonia saying she wanted to help them with their marriage. She apparently coached them for around 3 months but they split anyway, within 2 months Heather was pregnant with twins, the pregnancy announcement wasn't long after the divorce was finalized, so while it is quite murky Heather was never actually associated in anyway to the production.

  • Love 8
6 minutes ago, LilaFowler said:

I did a search for the other couples and no records. I don't want to read too much into it, but Amber and Dave are still married? lol

Or  just following their contract that they can't file until production says they can. Not the first time Mia has leaked and probably won't be the last I wouldn't be surprised if the sister and friends go on another social media ranting spree to defend poor innocent Mia.

  • Love 5

Mia wasn't into Tristan from the get go; all her talk of moving to Houston with him is very fake. She probably only did the show to get attention from her ex. Even if he's married if she's sick enough to stalk to the point of legal issues she may never totally give up on the guy.

Tristan was completely misguided (& not by God) & was really an idiot for not walking after her arrest; no one would have blamed him.

  • Love 8
10 minutes ago, discoprincess said:

Tristan has issues of his own:

I don't know how much of a liar he is - Maybe in the beginning, but he did tell Mia in this past episode that his business in Houston was losing money big time.

I am wondering, though, if his lease on the apartment was really up or was he being evicted.

It's just so obvious that this couple is completely fake - Tristan is as fake as Mia in his own way.  There MUST be money in it for these couples to continue with the charade throughout the 8 weeks.  The same must be true of Dave and Amber.  It's all fake.

  • Love 7

MAFS “experts” have outdone themselves this season for matching financial ruin(let me guess...his credit report results the  same time as Mia’s background check report...yeah, right) with a felon.

Tristan, the failed entrepreneur and Mia the scary stalker...I’d be hiding under blankets as well.

Tristan is redeemable.

Mia...who knows....

  • Love 6
1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

MAFS “experts” have outdone themselves this season for matching financial ruin(let me guess...his credit report results the  same time as Mia’s background check report...yeah, right) with a felon.

Tristan, the failed entrepreneur and Mia the scary stalker...I’d be hiding under blankets as well.

Tristan is redeemable.

Mia...who knows....

Bolded is the big difference between them.  She was still arrested for stalking, cc theft & acted like she was the victim while lying to everyone on TV.

Granted I do believe so much of this show is manufactured & manipulated we'll never know what the truth is with anyone, how much the show knew about anyone going in, & how much they are forced by contract to play along, stay together, etc.

Edited by gonecrackers
  • Love 1
3 hours ago, discoprincess said:

Tristan has issues of his own:

I thought the only reason he was staying with her was because of financial incentive. He is not that bad but their union is the fakest in fakeland. I am glad they are divorcing because if they had stayed together for the money there was a chance they would have ended up on the new show and I never need to see Mia again.

  • Love 6
4 hours ago, qtpye said:

Since we have not heard anything about the other couples, I am going to guess D & B stay married and are probably going to be on the new show. D and A will probably stay married on decision day and end it by the one year period like a lot of other couples before them.

They were saying on reddit that the show asks participants not to file legal documents until the final show has aired, exactly for this reason.

  • Love 4
1 hour ago, Lusterleaf said:

Not surprised about Tristan and Mia, I'm just surprised it leaked out prior to the finale. I thought they would have had to sign something saying they can't file for divorce until after the finale airs. I wouldn't be surprised if I see a divorce filing for Amber & Dave as well.

Me too. I try to avoid spoilers but I saw the news on People.com, so oops! I would think they'd have to wait until the show is off the air before filing.

I don't care who filed, I'm just glad Tristan is out of that mess.

  • Love 3

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