Indian Matchmaking - General Discussion

[Ohmo]

What I Learned By Auditioning For Netflix’s "Indian Matchmaking"

[Ilovepie]

On 7/29/2020 at 4:50 PM, Stan39 said:

Somebody needs to tell Aparna that she’s an asshole. I understand she became less negative on dates later in the series, but she still seemed very full of herself and didn’t seem to grasp this wasn’t just about giving her what she wanted.

I just finally finished watching this. I also recently watched Love on the Spectrum. I’ve gotta say, those autistic people on that show had better skills at communicating on blind dates than Aparna. What a horrible rude person.

I really don’t understand this show. It was edited really strangely. They started storylines with some then dropped them. The last girl started halfway through the last episode. There was zero resolution with anyone besides Akshay. The seventh episode ended on a cliffhanger with Vyasar telling vet lady about his dad. Then no mention of him at all in the final episode! No wrap up on anyone. It kind of feels like a waste if there isn’t going to be another season.....

[TwirlyGirly]

On 8/17/2020 at 3:15 PM, Pepper Mostly said:

<snip> I caught a good one on Prime the other day, called "The Marriage Race", follows two Indian-Australians, one man and one woman, as they explore the various resources available in their search for a mate. I enjoyed it a lot. 

Couldn't find that title, but did find "Indian Wedding Race".

Is that the one you're recommending?

[Pepper Mostly]

Yes! Sorry, I can never remember titles. I really liked it a lot. Let me know what you think!

[Neurochick]

7 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Yes! Sorry, I can never remember titles. I really liked it a lot. Let me know what you think!

Just watched Indian Wedding Race.  I liked it.  I liked that there seemed to be equal pressure on the man as there was on the woman, to get married by 30.

[EtheltoTillie]

On 7/23/2020 at 3:32 PM, configdotsys said:

Great show. Some thoughts before reading everyone else's posts. I'm so happy there is a thread for this. I'm up to episode 4 now but just have to post.

I totally dislike Aparna. There are some people in the world who will never experience true joy and happiness. They will remain joyless and just never learned to play and have fun. She's arrogant and like the last guy that did not want to meet her again (which made me happy, because I bet she thought that she was calling the shots) said "Her vacations are experiences," and not meant to relax. She seems to be a counter: I've been to 40 countries... seems like the number is the most important thing to her. She ticks off accomplishments as if she had no happiness in completing them. She doesn't even like being a lawyer. What a dysfunctional person. She is totally missing any wiring that has to do with just chilling and having fun. I could go on for days about her but yikes.

Nadia seems like such a sweet person. She's beautiful and in great shape and so genuine. It makes me sad that Vinay was such a flake. 

I think the jewelry guy is gay like someone else posted earlier and it's easy for him to dismiss every girl as not his type because he's never going to be interested in anyone. 

Jumping in here about poor Aparna. Her mother knocked all the joy out of her. Just go back to that intro where mom proudly says that she told her never embarrass me in the community and never get less than an A. 

[Ohmo]

On 9/19/2020 at 6:19 PM, Ilovepie said:

Then no mention of him at all in the final episode! No wrap up on anyone. It kind of feels like a waste if there isn’t going to be another season.....

I'm crossing shows here, but that may be Netflix's style.  I just finished watching Deaf U, and it was sort of the same.  Resolution for some people, but nothing about others.

Thanks to those who mentioned "Indian Wedding Race."  I'm going to go look for that.

[Ohmo]

On 10/3/2020 at 10:37 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Yes! Sorry, I can never remember titles. I really liked it a lot. Let me know what you think!

I liked it, but I wish there were a bit more to it.  Indian Matchmaking was eight hours, and this was only one.  Between the two people, they only got about half an hour each.

I'd be curious to see how Indians who are Gen Xers and younger feel about this when their children come of age.  Right now, it doesn't seem there is a lot of acceptance of the idea that one can be happy and single or marry later in life, whether it's a love marriage or an arranged marriage.  Maybe that acceptance will come with the shifting of generations.

I'm glad the guy didn't marry.  When the film ended, he seemed happy with his decision.

I'm not Indian. As someone who isn't from that culture, it bothers me to see women crying as they are separated from their families on their wedding days, and this is the second time I've seen clearly non-happy tears.  The same thing happened in A Suitable Girl.  Is there some custom or tradition that doesn't allow women to see their own families once they marry?  If so, then I can see why women might not be enthused at the idea of marriage.

[jabRI]

Sorry, but the scene I can't shake is the 'romantic' horse ride: being led around an empty track where the handlers couldn't walk any slower.

[Pepper Mostly]

On 10/18/2020 at 9:17 PM, Ohmo said:

I'm not Indian. As someone who isn't from that culture, it bothers me to see women crying as they are separated from their families on their wedding days, and this is the second time I've seen clearly non-happy tears.  The same thing happened in A Suitable Girl.  Is there some custom or tradition that doesn't allow women to see their own families once they marry?  If so, then I can see why women might not be enthused at the idea of marriage.

I'm not Indian either, but I think its cultural--while it is no longer true that a woman "belongs" to her husband's family, there's still cultural baggage. Maybe in the old days women married, went to their husband's home, and rarely saw their parents and siblings. Nowadays that's not the case, of course.  And not for nothing, I've seen more than one American bride bawling her eyes out on her way down the aisle. Its a monumental life change, especially for women who have lived at home and been taken care of by their parents all their lives, to have to assimilate to a new family, new home, new husband, new town. 

Spoiler

I did feel bad for the woman who moved into her husband's home with his family--her husband promised her that she'd be able to work in the family business and use her education. But she got pregnant, the MIL's health went south, and she was running the house, doing the child care and cooking and cleaning. Plus her in laws were old fashioned and she never wore her "modern" clothes any more, she wore a sari every day to please them. I felt like she got bait and switched. I thought Dipti did well for herself--her husband seemed very sweet and devoted. 

 

[HerkyJerky]

On 7/23/2020 at 8:27 PM, Neurochick said:

On 7/21/2020 at 1:46 AM, Memphisbelly said:

I thought Akshay was in love with his cousin.

I wondered if anybody else could see that.  The way he looked at her.  I was like, "he's totally in love with her".  They were so easy with each other too, absolutely no awkwardness. 

This is very possible but how about another interpretation?  It was obvious that Akshay had ZERO game, so maybe he was just so comfortable with his cousin because he didn't have to impress her and worry about what to talk about with her.

[Rahul]

On 7/23/2020 at 7:41 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

The second he came on screen I thought that then we saw his closet full of clothing he designs for the goddess statues it was undeniable.

Did Pradyamun actually design those clothes for the idols, though? It's very common in India to have numerous clothes and jewelry for your idols--especially if they are of the larger, marble variety.

On 7/24/2020 at 9:42 PM, Scarlett45 said:

Of course every family is different but that’s been my general experience among my circle of Indian friends- whether they be Muslim or Hindi, first or second generation. My Mom has an Indian co-worker whos a lesbian (in her 50s), her parents understand she has a “friend”, but she is dutiful and a Successful doctor so it’s not an issue (they are Hindi). Again- every family and circumstance is different, because humans are humans.  

Hindi is an Indo-European language spoken in North India. One cannot be Hindi. Hindu is a religious denomination for followers of the widely encompassing Sanatan Dharma faith.

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, Rahul said:

Did Pradyamun actually design those clothes for the idols, though? It's very common in India to have numerous clothes and jewelry for your idols--especially if they are of the larger, marble variety.

Hindi is an Indo-European language spoken in North India. One cannot be Hindi. Hindu is a religious denomination for followers of the widely encompassing Sanatan Dharma faith.

Yes I am very sorry- typo. I will amend!

[hula-la]

Netflix just released a new series, "The Big Day", which focuses on weddings in India. Are these over the top weddings in which rich families spend money like it was nothing? Yes? Was it enjoyable? Yes. Know it's excessive, beautifully shot, and not the reality of most people. But, it's weddings, and we don't have any of those in our lives right now.

[Irlandesa]

1 hour ago, hula-la said:

Netflix just released a new series, "The Big Day", which focuses on weddings in India. Are these over the top weddings in which rich families spend money like it was nothing? Yes? Was it enjoyable? Yes. Know it's excessive, beautifully shot, and not the reality of most people. But, it's weddings, and we don't have any of those in our lives right now.

I keep meaning to watch that.

[Scarlett45]

We have a Season 2!

Trailer here

Guess what I will be doing this weekend. 

[gingerandcloves]

I can't wait!

[Adgirl]

oh Aparna...that's all I'll say for now

[awaken]

Oh yay!

[Angeleyes]

We’ve made it through episode three of season 2 so far. It’s interesting that they’ve brought back some of the singles from last season. There’s still a lot of pickiness and self sabotage happening. Viral is a piece of work. She seems to want to skip the romance and go straight to cross examination. 

[Irlandesa]

12 hours ago, Angeleyes said:

We’ve made it through episode three of season 2 so far. It’s interesting that they’ve brought back some of the singles from last season.

I initially thought that made sense because Sima said she works with some people for years but after watching the first few episodes, that's not the case. They're taking a show that was a docu-reality show last season and turning it into a capital R Reality show.

Apurna and Jay are now hanging out as friends?  Shekar and Nadia are still sort of seeing each other but not seeing each other even though the coda at the end of the first season was that they weren't still in touch, IIRC? 

But they're also doing a few matchmaking things but with people who clearly don't want to get married.  I'm not sure Viral does.  And Akshay is going through the process for his parents but talking about his desires for a blonde, blue-eyed wife.  (So cliche.)

I also don't know why they're talking like Nashik is this podunk place. wikipedia says it has a population of a million.  Surely not every woman wants to live in even bigger cities. 

12 hours ago, Angeleyes said:

Viral is a piece of work.

She cracks me up talking like she's "mature for 30" when one would expect maturity at 30.  And then she wants 'older" but older to her is only 3-7 years older as opposed to at least a decade.

Edited August 11, 2022 by Irlandesa

[Angeleyes]

Yes, it feels like the returning singles (particularly Aparna) only returned for fame ho reasons. It’s clear that if she did get married it would only be to check off another box on her list of accomplishments and would want her spouse to disappear immediately. She said she does not want Jay to touch her so I’m guessing he’s friend zoned unless she is a person who is not comfortable with touch. 
Nadia was rude to not settle things one way or another with Shekar before she got flirty with someone else. I think she wants to be pursued, but gives mixed signals. The younger guy was not ready to settle down and start having babies immediately. He said the age thing wasn’t a problem, but ultimately it was once he talked to his friends because they clued him in that her timeline is different than his. At least he was upfront and honest, but Nadia didn’t like hearing it. 

[greekmom]

Only on episode 3.
Damn. I was really rooting for Nadia and Vishal. I think he got pressure from the parents about dating "an older woman". He could have dumped her over the phone and not gone to Cali. My heart broke for her as she really liked this guy. I can't believe Auntie Sima's attitude toward the marriage of Chopra and Jonas.
Viral is looking for a copy of herself in a male version. She's not going to find it. She could find someone like Viral (the guy with the same name), fall in love and marry and they can get a housekeeper for the cooking and cleaning. I'm sure she can afford it.
Aparna is also another difficult one.  I don't think she really wants to marry and only is doing it for either her 15 mins of fame on the show and parental pressure. 
Ashkay, is having trouble because he's a country boy!?!?! It's not like he's on the farm 24/7. He seems to want to go out and has modes of transportation.  Is able to get out and party, have friends, etc.  I don't buy the storyline that no girl wants to move to his city and I don't buy the cursed stuff.

I do miss Vyasar  from last season. He seemed like such a sweet guy.  I hope he found a nice girl.
 

[Irlandesa]

1 hour ago, Angeleyes said:

The younger guy was not ready to settle down and start having babies immediately. He said the age thing wasn’t a problem, but ultimately it was once he talked to his friends because they clued him in that her timeline is different than his. At least he was upfront and honest, but Nadia didn’t like hearing it. 

I'm calling out Vishal for reality ho-ness too.  He got on TV.  He started to date one of the "stars" of the show for TV time.  I don't think he was all that honest either.  He didn't say he realized their timelines were different or he didn't anticipate getting marriage until much later.  He said he never felt the spark.  Meanwhile, he had been aggressively pursuing her and making out with her.  So either he was lying about how into her he was or he was lying about why he was breaking up with her.

1 hour ago, greekmom said:

She could find someone like Viral (the guy with the same name), fall in love and marry and they can get a housekeeper for the cooking and cleaning. I'm sure she can afford it.

I agree they could afford it.  Of course she wants him to be able to afford it too.  I liked Viral but "I want my kids to be raised vegetarian for my mother" was a massive red flag.  Negotiating a life between two people is tough enough.  It's even harder with a mama's boy who is going to factor in what she wants more than what he or his wife wants.

[EarlGreyTea]

I can't with Nadia. I said this before, but she reminds me of my cousin. Gorgeous, bubbly, great job, total catnip to men - but for some reason, comes off as a bit clingy and desperate, which is sure to run off flighty guys like what's his name. I think the issue is that she wants the guys to like her, but doesn't stop to think about whether she likes them or if they're a good partner for the long haul. You don't have to say yes to every rando who asks you out!

I see too much of myself in Aparna. I think she's a good egg at heart, but comes off as a jerk sometimes without meaning to, or says cutting remarks meant in jest but ends up insulting the other person. I've lost a friend or two because I can sometimes be like that. It's not a good look, but it's also hard to change, particularly if it's a defense mechanism, which it seems to be in her case.

Edited August 11, 2022 by EarlGreyTea

[athousandclowns]

Arshneel could someone explain why this cardiologist is so bewildered and thrown off because his date is from India? I was binge watching very late but couldn’t make sense of it.  She seemed delightful. 

[Irlandesa]

5 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

Arshneel could someone explain why this cardiologist is so bewildered and thrown off because his date is from India?

I think it's because he grew up in the US and she mainly grew up in India.  He was worried if there would be some cultural differences that could be a problem but after spending time with her, he decided he was worried about nothing. 

I finished the season.  After the first few episodes where they focused on the people from the previous seasons, they let them go and focused on the new crew searching for love.  It felt like two different shows. 

I guess we're just leaving the Nashik guy back in Nashik with no followup. 

Shital introduces us to her tall, hot doctor boyfriend--basically her criteria--who she claims she just met but, let's face it, she was probably dating him all along. 

The show ends with Sima in London which makes me curious if the next season or iteration will take place in London.

And there might actually be a match thanks to Sima.  That'd be a first for the series but unlike the first season, we didn't get any followup to see if they stayed in touch after the series.

[Angeleyes]

We’ve been binging the series and we’re almost done. I love that Shital’s friend calls her Shitty and she gives her the advice she needed. Did anyone else think that Nadia and Shital look like they could be related? Their facial bone structure and the way they wear their hair is so similar. I had to do a double take on the episode where she was introduced. 

[Hanya2]

Still think that the jewelry maker and now restauranteer is gay. His new wife seems like a cute, bubbly doll for him to dress up. Hope I'm wrong and they are genuinely in love.

I agree that two of the women really look alike, although I know one is younger. The younger one was so OCD it would make me want to run in the opposite direction.

With the Miami guy, he rejects the cute, bubbly girl from Brooklyn who totally charms his parents and puts up with a double date with his brother and brother's wife, but then the ice cold, distant but beautiful woman is the one he wants. She wasn't into him. He only cares about looks, no matter what he says, although he himself is not gorgeous.

And Nadia, she dropped the nice guy to pursue pure physical attraction. I think he told her whatever she wanted to hear so she would sleep with him and then met someone else while she was away on business for a few weeks.

And Aparna is just cranky and unpleasant. She seems extremely set in her ways and self-centered.

[greekmom]

2 hours ago, Hanya2 said:

Still think that the jewelry maker and now restauranteer is gay. His new wife seems like a cute, bubbly doll for him to dress up. Hope I'm wrong and they are genuinely in love.

Was that the same guy? I don't remember if it was the same guy. I agree that the jewelry maker from last season had to be gay. Didn't he have the doll collection and made clothes for them (memory is a bit fuzzy and I'm lazy to check back into season 1).

I really did like Arshneel .  He seemed bubbly and full of personality.  
 

[Aulty]

bfffffffffff I got really excited when I say the new season available on Netflix but I wasn't a fan of them bringing back some of the season 1 crew because it already became quite clear back then that the process doesn't work well for them.
At times it felt like a reality TV show, rather than a documentary.

Aparna isn't really entertaining to watch. It never goes anywhere with her. Nadia, its very telling that she said she wants a boyfriend, not husband. Pradhyuman found himselft a very pretty girl, it was odd that they didn't show much of her family and the meeting of the families - they were big on that in season 1.

Arshneel was very likable and his dad seemed like a very nice guy too - his reaction as a parent to the whole matchmaking business was more relaxed than I expected. I also felt Arsh's list of wants in his first meeting with Seema was the most realistic of the new bunch.

The Pryanka Chopra and Nick Jonas references got very repetitive

As with last season, for someone who is supposed to be one of the best matchmakers we see very little success on this programme.

Edited August 13, 2022 by Aulty

[zenithwit]

On 8/10/2022 at 9:02 PM, Irlandesa said:

I also don't know why they're talking like Nashik is this podunk place. wikipedia says it has a population of a million.  Surely not every woman wants to live in even bigger cities. 

In a country like India, a million people would be considered a small city.  India has at least 4 or 5 cities that are the size of NYC and several more in 5 - 10 million range.  Plus, they heavily implied in the show that Nashik has a history of a more conservative culture.  Which probably means that a wife would be expected to take on a more traditional role in the household.  Now maybe the culture is changing in Nashik and Akshay wouldn't necessarily have those expectations but it may still be enough for several women to prefer to be in a larger, more progressive metropolitan area (especially when one like Mumbai is nearby).

[Aulty]

I finished the last couple of episodes and I wonder whether the American-Indian people they cast have they wrong, or at least a slightly skewed, idea of what matchmaking is. Like they can outsource finding 'The One' rather than finding 'A One'. Thats why Sima kept banging on that fulfilling 60-70% of their criteria should be enough.
If the next season really is UK focussed, I'm interested to see how UK-Indians compare to the US lot because there are large SO-Asian communities in the UK.

I liked the first girl Vinesh met and would be more interested in following her matchmaking story than watching both, Viral and Shital. Or Arshkeel's dentist girl.

[Pepper Mostly]

Sima Auntie is very bad at her job. There. I said it. She adopts a hectoring, scolding tone with her clients and tells them to lower their expectations. Yes, part of her job is to manage people's expectations, but she does it in such an unpleasant, lecturing way, which basically says "you are going to have to settle". AND we've never seen a single "match" of hers work out. The two good matches we've seen have been without her help. 

My heart broke for Nadia, I just love her. I think she should go out with go-kart guy, I think they'd have fun together. 

Aparna. Oy. What a sour, unpleasant woman. Nothing comes out of her mouth that isn't insulting or snide. "Oh, just what I want, a view of New Jersey" "You got coconut milk ice cream? How vegan of you" "Sit up straight!". When she was yawning in her date's face? I wanted to slap her. And that hideous rictus that passes for a smile, shudder. It looks like she looked up "smiling" somewhere and spent a lot of time practicing one, it does not come naturally to her. She doesn't seem to think that she needs to bring anything to the table, its all about whether a guy suits her wants/needs. Like she'll just store him in a closet or something until he's required. 

I loved loved loved Arshneel, the Sikh doctor. He seems gentle and kind. I think he and Rinkel were cute together. She's adorable and has a great smile. (On a shallow note, she needs to get to a good hair stylist, pronto. That bump-it! Argh.) His first date reminded me of Aparna, with her snotty  "I don't even know where Ohio is, ew!". Really? I'm an east coast girl and would demur heartily over potentially moving to Ohio but to flat out insult a person's home at first meeting is pretty shitty. Way to point out how silly and shallow you are. 

Miami guy was just a douchebag. He's a 6 at best, wants a 10. He wants to sit in the living room with his pals watching football while his super hot wife stays in the kitchen frying up the pakoras. Feh. 

[configdotsys]

15 hours ago, greekmom said:

Was that the same guy? I don't remember if it was the same guy. I agree that the jewelry maker from last season had to be gay. Didn't he have the doll collection and made clothes for them (memory is a bit fuzzy and I'm lazy to check back into season 1).

I really did like Arshneel .  He seemed bubbly and full of personality.  
 

Is it the pretty guy from last season who had the super secret locked closet that no one was allowed to enter?

I'm torn on watching this. I usually enjoy season 1 of these types of shows because they are more real. Once they get noticed on season 1, the thirsty fame whore button is pressed and subsequent seasons just feel as though there's a whole lot of acting going on.

Not surprised in the least to read here that Aparna hasn't changed a bit. 

[Hanya2]

From Aulty - "I wonder whether the American-Indian people they cast have they wrong, or at least a slightly skewed, idea of what matchmaking is. Like they can outsource finding 'The One' rather than finding 'A One'. Thats why Sima kept banging on that fulfilling 60-70% of their criteria should be enough."

I think this is a huge cultural gap or divide. I believe the idea of arranged marriages is that two suitable people marry and learn to love each other over time.

And the Western ideal is all about chemistry and physical attraction. The Americans and maybe all of them, are not willing to give this up.

Of course the downside of this is what happened to Nadia, you can be extremely attracted to the wrong people. Or the physical attraction burns out for one of the parties.

[zenithwit]

3 hours ago, configdotsys said:

I'm torn on watching this. I usually enjoy season 1 of these types of shows because they are more real. Once they get noticed on season 1, the thirsty fame whore button is pressed and subsequent seasons just feel as though there's a whole lot of acting going on.

I'm only 4 episodes into season 2 but yeah, I hate to report that there's a lot of "here for the wrong reasons" going on.  But the show isn't helping.  They changed their format from focusing on Sima, her clients and their potential matches to your stereotypical reality show - at least with the older season 1 clients.  Honestly, if Sima isn't trying to find them a match, I don't care.  If they want to do updates on prior clients, they can have a dedicated episode or do a reunion show.

2 hours ago, Hanya2 said:

I think this is a huge cultural gap or divide. I believe the idea of arranged marriages is that two suitable people marry and learn to love each other over time.

And the Western ideal is all about chemistry and physical attraction. The Americans and maybe all of them, are not willing to give this up.

Definitely agree on the cultural divide but I think both systems have the same end goal, just different methodologies.  Both sides want to end up with a loving partner that they can spend every day with and potential start a family.  But Sima's matchmaking/"arranged" marriage (not sure how relevant that term is nowadays), focuses on the more transactional nature of marriage and participants are expected to make a decision about marriage after one or two conversations.  While the Western system does emphasize an initial physical attraction, it also gives more autonomy to the individuals actually in the relationship (i.e. not your parents) and allows you to learn from your mistakes.  Though it does tend to get over-romanticized. (Soul mates, Prince Charming, etc). 

But it's not surprising that the Western participants are struggling with Sima and her matchmaking methods.  It's hard to give up that autonomy.  Though it would be hilarious if someone was actually honest with Sima and was like "sorry Sima Aunty but I just don't want to suck his d*** for the rest of my life".

[Pepper Mostly]

Sima always acts like people's "criteria" are ridiculously unobtainable. When usually the list is something like "traditional values" "wants kids" "close to family" "successful" "similar cultural background". The instant someone says something that's not one of those things she's up in arms. I don't think saying you'd like to meet someone taller than you or who would be open to watching football with you or or likes to cook is beyond the pale of aspiration. She annoys the bejesus out of me. There are ways to manage expectations without being a scolding old hag. "You say you'd like to meet a guy who's six feet or over. So, what if I found someone who ticked all the boxes but was 5'11". Would you be open to at least meeting him?" "Which matters most, that someone shares your specific religious tradition or that someone shares a cultural background?" (This was addressed on the show I saw on Prime about two Australian-Indian thirty year olds who were looking for a spouse. The woman was Sikh and said that, while she would prefer to meet a Sikh man, she'd be open to meeting anyone who was Gujerati since that was where her family was from originally.) Sima just goes "Well, you're not going to get everything because this crazy wish list of yours is totally unrealistic and also you are insane. You will have to settle for someone so prepare to suck it up". I do get where she's coming from but she expresses it very badly.

I do agree that it does seem to be a struggle for some of the American raised people to try to reconcile the rom-com "spark" with a traditional view of "I like you, you like me, and we can go into this with our eyes open and do everything we can to help love grow". I really felt for Nadia because she clearly has a lot to offer as a partner, and says she's trusting the process, but still wants to be swept off her feet. But Aparna? She holds herself out like some glittering prize, but what does she offer anyone as a potential partner ad wife? She doesn't seem to feel that she needs to bring anything to the table, the men should be queuing up to see if they are good enough for HER. 

[Irlandesa]

5 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

My heart broke for Nadia, I just love her. I think she should go out with go-kart guy, I think they'd have fun together. 

I liked Nadia last season but I read her as less authentic this season.  The guy who allegedly stood her up last season put out on social media that she staged that scene last season and he didn't stand her up. 

I wasn't sure whether or not to believe him but then the story with Shekar seems to be that she reinforced that they were going to hang out as friends so he respected that only to have her talk about how she felt rejected by him because he wasn't making moves when he came to visit--so she had to make out with Vishal right there.  And she told Sima she wants a boyfriend.  I think that's the realest she has been.  She wants to use Sima like she's an app. 

4 hours ago, Hanya2 said:

I think this is a huge cultural gap or divide. I believe the idea of arranged marriages is that two suitable people marry and learn to love each other over time.

And the Western ideal is all about chemistry and physical attraction. The Americans and maybe all of them, are not willing to give this up.

I think part of the issue might be that the subset of people willing to display their pursuit of love on a reality show doesn't have much overlap with the subset of people willing to follow a more traditional arranged marriage model where a partner is decided based on family support and values-compatibility vs. physical compatibility.

It's why I have a hard time deciding how good or bad Sima is.  I do not think she's working with people who are fully into the idea of arranged marriages. And that'd probably frustrate me too. 

Edited August 13, 2022 by Irlandesa

[Scarlett45]

On 8/11/2022 at 9:52 AM, Irlandesa said:

He said he never felt the spark.  Meanwhile, he had been aggressively pursuing her and making out with her.  So either he was lying about how into her he was or he was lying about why he was breaking up with her.

That was code for “I think you’re hot and wanted to get laid.” That’s exactly what happened. Nadia is pretty, I’m sure she gets approached a lot, but that doesn’t mean a guy is going to be serious about her like Shekar was. I was 100% team Shekar on that one. If a woman says “I’m coming to visit you just as friends.” That means, “do not make any sexual moves towards me.”, and he didn’t because he’s a respectful guy. He was probably waiting for HER to indicate she wanted more than friendship. So she can’t say she felt rejected by him!

Nadia wants attention but I don’t think she is actually interested in finding a partner. 

On 8/12/2022 at 1:06 PM, Hanya2 said:

And Nadia, she dropped the nice guy to pursue pure physical attraction. I think he told her whatever she wanted to hear so she would sleep with him and then met someone else while she was away on business for a few weeks.

I agree. And to be fair to him, it was only a month. He didn’t string her along for 6months- a year or something. 

[Hanya2]

Nadia may really want a partner, but maybe she needs to grow up a bit or do some internal work. I had periods of my life when I was like this. Just saying. I like Nadia, we're imperfect. She may also want to be a reality TV star.

[HoneyBeach]

On 8/11/2022 at 9:52 AM, Irlandesa said:

I'm calling out Vishal for reality ho-ness too.  He got on TV.  He started to date one of the "stars" of the show for TV time.  I don't think he was all that honest either.  He didn't say he realized their timelines were different or he didn't anticipate getting marriage until much later.  He said he never felt the spark.  Meanwhile, he had been aggressively pursuing her and making out with her.  So either he was lying about how into her he was or he was lying about why he was breaking up with her.

I agree they could afford it.  Of course she wants him to be able to afford it too.  I liked Viral but "I want my kids to be raised vegetarian for my mother" was a massive red flag.  Negotiating a life between two people is tough enough.  It's even harder with a mama's boy who is going to factor in what she wants more than what he or his wife wants.

THIS. As soon as I saw him make a bee-line for Nadia and focus on his pursuit of her, I thought "He's a plant".

[TexasGal]

On 8/13/2022 at 6:18 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Miami guy was just a douchebag. He's a 6 at best, wants a 10. He wants to sit in the living room with his pals watching football while his super hot wife stays in the kitchen frying up the pakoras. Feh. 

While the symmetry of it was too convenient to NOT be staged, I did enjoy that the second girl treated him exactly as he'd treated the first.  Sure, I'll give you my number but no second date, you're just friend material.   

[humbleopinion]

Notable bored resting b face LA nurse was giving Miami guy as she watched him loudly chomp and chew his food, cleaning his plate like a good boy

His SIL, Vanessa's NJ accent is jarring compared to everyone else's low tones

Nadia's family can count on her to consistently pick the wrong guy.

Aparna is matchmaking? I wouldn't ask her to match my socks.

Edited August 15, 2022 by humbleopinion

[Scarlett45]

On 8/13/2022 at 6:18 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

I loved loved loved Arshneel, the Sikh doctor. He seems gentle and kind. I think he and Rinkel were cute together. She's adorable and has a great smile. (On a shallow note, she needs to get to a good hair stylist, pronto. That bump-it! Argh.) His first date reminded me of Aparna, with her snotty  "I don't even know where Ohio is, ew!". Really? I'm an east coast girl and would demur heartily over potentially moving to Ohio but to flat out insult a person's home at first meeting is pretty shitty. Way to point out how silly and shallow you are. 

Miami guy was just a douchebag. He's a 6 at best, wants a 10. He wants to sit in the living room with his pals watching football while his super hot wife stays in the kitchen frying up the pakoras. Feh. 

I loved Arshneel too! He was so sweet. I could see how much discrimination, racism and prejudice he had experienced regarding how often he felt he needed to explain his turban. I was sharing with my friend as we were watching, when I was in HS, a classmate was barred from playing in a soccer game because of his turban, the awful ref said "he can sit out you could forfeit", the other team's coach stood up for him too and said "no wait that's not right", and all the kids were on his side (both teams, they refused to play if he couldn't). I had forgotten about that for a while but it was emotional thing for him (I went to a super small private school, 42 kids in my graduating class), and this was in 2002. To know Arshneel (who's only a few years younger than me likely) went through similar things made me shake my head. He is going to find someone I know he will.

Vinesh (Miami guy)  is his name, YEAH I got the impression that he's been dating women primarily for their looks, but also wants them to be smart, successful, educated, wealthy etc. Women who are "10s" looks wise, and are also smart/successful/educated etc tend to want to date MEN that are the same. Vinesh you are not all that.

Aparna is just a jerk, and she wants a BUTLER not a partner. You can hire a butler.

On 8/15/2022 at 9:33 AM, humbleopinion said:

Aparna is matchmaking? I wouldn't ask her to match my socks.

Hilarious!

[sugarbaker design]

On 8/13/2022 at 7:18 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

My heart broke for Nadia, I just love her. I think she should go out with go-kart guy, I think they'd have fun together. 

Wasn't that Viral who went go-karting?

On 8/13/2022 at 7:18 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

I loved loved loved Arshneel, the Sikh doctor. He seems gentle and kind.

Easily the most likable, and in my humble opinion, the biggest catch of all the guys.  He had such good vibes and good dad karma.  I love when he asked his dad his opinion of the three prospects Sima put forth.  And dad said 'it's your decision'.

[HoneyBeach]

I like Arshneel very much, I think he comes across as a great guy. But, he doesn't seem like he wanted to go ahead with Rinkle and I don't understand why. She's adorable and educated and can laugh at herself, but still, she doesn't seem to be enough even for this "nice" guy. I really am feeling that they are all the same, men and women, are in it just for looks. Hopefully, he proves me wrong. After all those awful women, Rinkle and Mosum are breaths of fresh air.

[EarlGreyTea]

The level of delusion in Vinesh is unreal! How could he possibly think the date with Meena went well? If that's his idea of a "connection," no wonder he's single. She could not have given less of a fuck about him. Whereas with Mosum there was an actual connection and vibe, but of course he dropped her. Douche.

I got a little too much pleasure seeing how quickly Meena dropped him.

Edited August 15, 2022 by EarlGreyTea

[Empress1]

On 8/13/2022 at 8:48 PM, Scarlett45 said:

That was code for “I think you’re hot and wanted to get laid.” That’s exactly what happened. Nadia is pretty, I’m sure she gets approached a lot, but that doesn’t mean a guy is going to be serious about her like Shekar was. I was 100% team Shekar on that one. If a woman says “I’m coming to visit you just as friends.” That means, “do not make any sexual moves towards me.”, and he didn’t because he’s a respectful guy. He was probably waiting for HER to indicate she wanted more than friendship. So she can’t say she felt rejected by him!

Totally. I agreed with Shekar there - that was unfair of her. As he said, he asked her point blank what the deal was and he respected what she said. She then came out of nowhere and said she felt rejected. Don’t play those games. If she wanted romance with him she should have said so.

A furniture store is not a date. It looked bizarre for them to be sitting in a showroom like that. Viral said she didn’t have to get dressed up but like … go to a coffee shop or something. I liked that the guy was like “the fuck? Why is she acting like this isn’t weird?”

The mismatch of pictures Viral was complaining about … I think he was just wearing glasses. 

On 8/12/2022 at 5:24 PM, Aulty said:

Aparna isn't really entertaining to watch. It never goes anywhere with her.

She is such an asshole. Just utterly humorless. Even when she smiles and laughs it looks fake. She thinks very highly of herself but I think she’s just not a nice person.

Loved Arshneel. I’d date him if he were open to dating outside his race. He just seemed so easygoing and nice.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

The mismatch of pictures Viral was complaining about … I think he was just wearing glasses. 

The mismatch of pictures was the glasses and a TINY bit weight gain in his face. A man that height, maybe 20-25lbs? Nothing major (and some people gain weight in their faces more than others). It was the same person she was being ridiculous.