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What promises to be a relaxing trip to Santa Barbara instead opens old wounds for Dorit, Erika, Teddi and Kyle. After feeling judged as a mother, Lisa Rinna turns the tables on Denise, forcing her to examine her own history of risqué behavior. Meanwhile, Garcelle weighs the pros and cons of being a working mom as she prepares to leave town for a job.

Airdate: 05/27/2020

Spoiler warning:  Please do not talk about future storylines that have not yet occurred on the show even if they have been discussed in the press.  (i.e. why Denise stopped filming.)

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I’m watching Grant too!  Tonight they’ll probably cover Reconstruction, but that’s going on the back burner so I can watch Lisa ask Denise about porn.  Instead of searching my soul, I’m blaming the new time slot; I hate it.  Why can’t they just put this on at 8?  

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1 minute ago, ShawnaLanne said:

I missed the first 10 minutes. Came in on the tail of Denise's photo shoot. Did i miss anything?

Kyle and Dorito talking about how they are still friends despite last weeks fight. 
Garcelle saying goodbye to her sons because she’s going away to work. 

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I want to see the invitation to this party. It obviously must have said something to the effect of "Adult Party: Bring Your Potty Mouth and Say What You Want" or these women wouldn't be so outraged.

But what would really be great is if they had something else to talk about.

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2 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

Now Rinna is talking about blow jobs and her daughters. No wonder her daughters have problems. She will never get any Mother of the Year  Awards any time soon. 

She wrote a book about giving oral sex. I think she mentioned that she gave her girls a copy. (Pearl clutching) 

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Just now, Mindthinkr said:

She wrote a book about giving oral sex. I think she mentioned that she gave her girls a copy. (Pearl clutching) 

No. Her daughter's told her they'd read it when they were 11. Her point that Denise's girls are going to see things about their mom that she didn't think of is valid. Her and the rest of the groups inability to act like anything but oversexed twunts in front of children is something else.

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4 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

She wrote a book about giving oral sex. I think she mentioned that she gave her girls a copy. (Pearl clutching) 

did she give it to them at 13? like here so you know what your doing? if Erika insinuated that Lisa would flip out 

Edited by Keywestclubkid
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So Dorit is full of shock and awe that Kyle told her to “shut the fuck up” when Dorit screamed across a dinner table to Camille that she was a c*** apropos of nothing a few seasons ago?  Miss me.

I’m bored by Garcelle telling us what she’s working on and how busy she is every episode.  It makes me feel like she took this role for publicity.  I have the same complaint when Erika, Lisa or Kyle goes on and on about their schedules.  I don’t like that this franchise is populated with famous people; I prefer good old-fashioned rich people and the concept of “peeking behind the orange curtain.”  I think there is something to the idea that Garcelle was supposed to be a friend-of and Sutton was supposed to be full-time until the ex pulled Sutton’s kids and thus her storyline.  

Was Denise married to someone famous?  She rarely mentions the past.  

 Teddi has to “go potty”?  Ugh.  Puh-leaze with the baby talk.  And if anyone told her that sounded lame, she’d cry.  This is why she gets picked on.  

I love that Sutton is not a hugger!  A woman after my own cold black heart.  

I know Lisa isn’t popular, and I do think she’s a huge bitch when you pierce the veneer, but there is something about her joie de vivre that I like.  She is always upbeat and she appreciates things like the view at the winery in Santa Barbara.  She is not cynical or morbid and I do appreciate that.  

I like them going to Santa Barbara.  It reminds me when they went to Ojai in season three.

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How much longer are going to stay on Threesomegate? It's been hashed and rehashed on several episodes now. WTF is there left to say? I think Lisa should have just let sleeping dogs lie. While I do think Denise had the right to control the topic of conversation in her home, I am surprised she is being such a stick in the mud about her daughters overhearing the threesome talk, especially when Sami said she and her friends were laughing about it, and it was fine. However, after Denise said she didn't want to talk about it anymore in Santa Barbara, I don't think it should have been brought up again, and it wouldn't have if Lisa didn't bring it up again. I wonder if the producers told her to instigate drama. I also wonder if producers are the ones who told Lisa to even initiate the threesome talk in Santa Barbara by having her ask Denise about her threesome scene in "Wild Things."

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1 minute ago, Straycat80 said:

Does Denise not realize her girls are teens and there is the internet, You Tube, and their friends will tell them  stuff about their parents they read or heard? Denise says the stuff she talks about on the show is private conversation between friends, no it’s not, you’re on a TV reality show, the world now knows all. And eventually so will your daughters. 
If she wants to protect her daughters like she says she does she needs to quit this show. 

I agree. No matter how protective Denise is over her daughters, there's no way they haven't heard or seen things, especially regarding Charlie Sheen who had about a decade ago had two women living with him that he referred to as the Goddesses. Were Sami and Lola visiting their father during that time?

38 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

If Erika gets called out on doing something wrong she turns it around and gets mad at the person , in this case Denise, who called her out. She was furious  at Eileen for saying something about her son that one time but then she says something about Denises teen daughter have a threesome. No, bitch, no. 

Eileen didn't say anything about Erika's son. She made a statement referencing getting killed, and Erika unfairly got bent out of shape because her son is a police officer, and death is always a possibility in his line of work. Erika later apologized for overacting. 

I think Erika's issue with Denise is how passive aggressive she is being about the threesome talk. She keeps saying it doesn't bother her when it clearly does. But after seeing the scenes for next week's episode, I question if Denise was going through something else, and this threesome thing is just a distraction.

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Disclaimer:  I watch this show not to watch people do good deeds for each other.  I watch for the bitchiness.  I thought it was really interesting how they went in for the kill very slowly on Denise, almost like a five-headed hydra (Teddi wasn’t part of it) acting as one awful person.  

It was hilarious to me that Lisa said she was glad that her daughters learned how to give a blowjob right.  That was very obviously step number one in disarming Denise.  

Kyle (without her bangs—finally) went in with the second step by very calmly apologizing for her behavior the other night.  

I liked the way that they let Denise speak, that they didn’t try to shout her down, and then Erika, sitting like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth saying, “I just think it’s a little naive.” 

This is so much better than shrieking and harping.  That bitchiness was almost surgical in its precision.  Denise had every right to be upset, and I do admire that she didn’t take the bait.  I have to admire that, because if Denise had gotten angry, there would have been no fingerprints on the murder weapon and the women would have gaslit her.  And she deprived them of the opportunity.  Well played.  

Kyle should have either apologized for what she said about Dorit and Erika, or she should have doubled down.  There is no taking the middle road.  It doesn’t exist.  The only reason Erika cut her a little slack is because Erika is strangely up Kyle’s ass, has been ever since she brought her to Greece for a show and it continued through last season’s reunion when Erika said that she thinks Kyle is the new queen of the franchise.  I can’t really figure this one out.  Such strange bedfellows.  Maybe because Erika doesn’t feel threatened by Kyle?

Dorit thinks there’s “honesty” in her friendship with Kyle?  Huh?  They’re completely fake bitches to each other.  

Denise did lie about her daughter’s reaction to the threesome talk.  She didn’t want to get into it, because getting into it would have meant revealing that her daughter was laughing.  But now it’s on TV and everyone knows so...point nobody?

Everyone was trying to test the fourth wall and say Denise talked about her sex life on TV without actually saying it, and they kept running into a brick wall.  Lisa took a swing and missed when she tried to get Denise to fess up to the threesome stuff.  It was a little bit of artistry on Denise’s part.   

Procedurally, I feel Denise is correct here, if that makes any sense, but substantively, I think she’s full of shit.  She has every right to make any rule in her home and anyone who is there has to follow the rules or leave, but the subtext was that Denise goes on TV and talks about happy endings and her husband’s penis size and her ex-husband’s women of the evening, saying “fuck” and “goddamn” at every turn, and if she’s not going to address that, she’s not going to win the day with me.  

Sutton for the quiet win here for suggesting that maybe Denise just shouldn’t have the kids around the group aka when the TV show is filming the women drinking.  Maybe if the group had pursued that path and been a lot more subtle, they could have gotten the reaction they clearly wanted.  

I’ll stay tuned though.  Denise seems to have won this battle, but I don’t think she’s going to win this war.  

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