S07.E13: Can I Get a Witness

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, Colfrmb2 said:

I confess that I tried to scan the crowd at Robert+Anny’s wedding for any kids who might be his offspring.

There was a little girl next to Bryson with her face blurred out. 

[Spike]

6 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Seriously, those vows. "You're more than a one night stand" "I promise to call you when I'm drunk". Sigh. Pure poetry. Move over, John Donne.

They only forgot “I promise to lie in the wet spot.”

[RealReality]

55 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Probably.  I'm old enough that they'll always be associated with sailors to me.

 

But did they have them done as part of the ceremony? 

I guess that's how things are these days--in order to be unconventional, you have to do something that's actually crazy.

At some point the pendulum will swing back around and doing a normal, boring wedding will be "unconventional"

Did Tania have a witch perform the ceremony?  

[Spike]

It’s kind of funny that someone who plans to make and sell soap decided to “bird bath” it for her wedding.

[Baltimore Betty]

17 minutes ago, Spike said:

It’s kind of funny that someone who plans to make and sell soap decided to “bird bath” it for her wedding.

She could make a soap called "Bird Bath" it does not need a lot of water to use it.

[Mrs. Hanson]

2 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Agreed. I can barely sit through a wedding as it is--most of them are too long and boring. Imagine having to sit and watch two people get tattooed?? I hope the bar was open.

You would have loved our ten minute ceremony.  It would have been nine but I was crying!

 

2 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Seriously, those vows. "You're more than a one night stand" "I promise to call you when I'm drunk". Sigh. Pure poetry. Move over, John Donne.

Call Hallmark!

[glitterpussy]

On 2/10/2020 at 9:28 AM, hookedontv said:

I'm still convinced she's drunk or on drugs 24/7.

Pills are my guess.  She just seems heavily medicated.  I mean, I don't blame her, if I had to interact with Michael that much, I'd be too....

[kendi]

2 hours ago, Lemur said:

Do they get credit for it not being a face/neck tattoo?  No?  No credit?  Moving on ...

Years from now, Syngin will look back on that story and wonder that maybe, just maybe, if that bouncer had felt like bodily removing a crazy drunk American, he wouldn't be in this mess. 

And when he reflects on this time in his life with huge regret, that tattoo on his ring finger will start to hurt. How'd you like to look at that constant reminder of the worst mistake of your life? My preeeecccccioiiiuuusssss....

[magemaud]

18 hours ago, ethalfrida said:

Angela:  Micheal and I’s... (insert noun)

After hearing her say this so many times, I honestly couldn't remember what was grammatically correct. I had to look it up and it's "Michael's and my..."

My favorite was when Michael said something about "I and Angela's..." but I'll give him a pass since English isn't his first language and she sets a terrible example. 

[blubld43]

21 hours ago, mittsigirl said:

She probably also sleeps on her side. I just turned 60, have large breasts and sleep on my side, and am starting to get those gross chest wrinkles from sleeping that way. She needs to buy a silicone chest pad from Amazon, I put mine on for an hour in the morning and my chest wrinkles are then gone, but I have to do it every day. I try to sleep on my back, but it is so hard to change after all of these years. Guess if I was a really vain woman, then switching sleep positions would be so much easier! Seeing her chest scares me, and she is many years younger than I am.

I am dying laughing, having been an A-B cup my entire adult life, these large breasted problems are like another language.

[mamadrama]

The tattoos didn't bother me. I have 3 and when my Pentacostal grandmother died at 87, she went with 4. (She was born in 1906.) I actually love tattoos...What I would NOT love was sitting there, or standing, watching someone else getting one as part of a wedding ceremony-a thing that can already run on the long side. Tania ought to throw a friend appreciation brunch  for the 6 people in her life that actually like her. 

[Kangatush]

On 2/10/2020 at 10:37 AM, hookedontv said:

I agree with @seacliffsal. Jasmine saying she's never been to a wedding, doesn't know about weddings, etc. was a crock. And if that was the case, honey there's a little thing you might be aware of since you want to be an "influencer" - it's call the internet. You plug in the word "wedding" or "weddings in the US" and OMG, there's pages and pages and pages of information and photos. It's producer driven or in addition to her face being frozen by fillers, the chemicals have seeped into her brains and rendered them useless as well.

Tania was ridiculous. All of it. And if you have to keep talking about how "unconvential" and "different" you are -- you really aren't. She fills me with hate and rage. She had such crazy eyes during the ceremony too. And I mentioned this on the live thread - Mystic CT is a lovely, seaside community. Very picturesque and I know it well. It's about 45 minutes from Colchester CT. I don't know why they rented an AirBnB that looked like a split level house found anywhere in any community, they could have done that in Colchester. If you go to Mystic, you go for the charming downtown, water views, etc. 

Apparently Jasmin has also never watched a tv show or movie that included a wedding.  Probably couldn't get reception in her seasoning free cave.

I actually have hope for Jasmin and Blake since they had some of the least amount of friction between the two of them (for reasons I do not understand).  

And I go to Mystic for the aquarium, school made me go for the Mayflower.  🙂

[Kangatush]

3 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

The tattoos didn't bother me. I have 3 and when my Pentacostal grandmother died at 87, she went with 4. (She was born in 1906.) I actually love tattoos...What I would NOT love was sitting there, or standing, watching someone else getting one as part of a wedding ceremony-a thing that can already run on the long side. Tania ought to throw a friend appreciation brunch  for the 6 people in her life that actually like her. 

Same.  Next they'll invite people over to watch the paint dry in their shed.  And I love how he some how managed to have friends able to show up and help, but her coven, that stayed in their hotel room uncomfortably long when he arrived, couldn't be bothered.

[mamadrama]

22 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Tania constantly telling us how edgy she is, is about as useful as Mike Sequim constantly telling us how tall he is — but at least he’s not wrong!

Tania and Syngin’s wedding was depressing garbage. W H Y IS HE WITH HER? He could get a nice woman who enjoys life and treats him like a real person. His surfer-pirate gestures before the Holy Tattoo Ceremony were hilarious. Totally reminded me of all the good-hearted space cadets I’ve known who pathologically attached themselves to shrews. 

Maybe I’m mean but I don’t think Leo is cute. He’s a spoiled little loudmouth who interrupts everyone to say dumb “precocious” shit. That poor middle brother is the only one I can stand in the whole Annaverse.

Bryson, however, is super cute, and he seems to be much calmer since Anny has been there. She bugs me to no end, but I’ll give credit where it’s due: she’s a good stepmom. 

I’m still trying to decide which Bone Thug Robert reminds me of. Leaning toward 80% Wish Bone/15% Layzie Bone/5% Eazy-E. 

According to the previews for the Tell-All, the plural of “text” is “Texas.”

Anyone who has to self-describe themselves as "edgy" probably isn't. That's one of those qualifiers that can only be made by an outside party. Like with people who brag about having a "good heart" and being a "good person." If you're the only person saying that about yourself then it might betime for some deep self reflection.

Tania is contrary just for the sake of contrariness 

Anna is constantly looking at her kids with a look of surprise and plastic smile like she's trying to figure out who they are and where they came from. She hasn't has a genuine conversation with them this whole season. She's either asking them leading questions or just flat out putting words in their mouths. She's never not aware that the cameras are there.

[Hangin Out]

11 hours ago, essexjan said:

Blake and Jasmin are a snoozefest. She is an ice queen and he pings my gaydar. Maybe that's what works for them, she gets the green

 

12 hours ago, essexjan said:

Blake and Jasmin are a snoozefest. She is an ice queen and he pings my gaydar. Maybe that's what works for them, she gets the green card and he gets his mom off his back.

That’s it.  I never thought about that.  It’s a win win for both of them.  Stupid me couldn’t understand what he saw in her.  Duh, now I get it.

[Spike]

3 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Same.  Next they'll invite people over to watch the paint dry in their shed.  And I love how he some how managed to have friends able to show up and help, but her coven, that stayed in their hotel room uncomfortably long when he arrived, couldn't be bothered.

The coven doesn’t appear to move much.

[Kangatush]

2 minutes ago, Spike said:

The coven doesn’t appear to move much.

Too much jiggle.

[Christina]

Tania and Syngin's officiant is a comedian. Here is a brief video clip of Syngin talking to or about him. I don't remember if he was actually shown on the show.

 

[Auntie Anxiety]

3 hours ago, Kangatush said:

actually have hope for Jasmin and Blake since they had some of the least amount of friction between the two of them (for reasons I do not understand).  

I don’t have any friction with the wall in my living room, but it doesn’t mean we should get married. 😉

So it seems that Tangin had the wedding I foresaw for them, the Judy Garland-Mickey Rooney DIY extravaganza with the hay bales for seating. She probably told all the invitees to BYOB and their own meat for grilling. In all of Mystic, CT there wasn’t a nicer venue than that 1970’s era house? I was unduly concerned about whether or not the septic tank could handle all those people. Well, at least Tania didn’t take a shower pre-wedding, so there’s that.

[Kangatush]

5 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I don’t have any friction with the wall in my living room, but it doesn’t mean we should get married. 😉

 

Don't misunderstand, I'm not pro any of these morons getting married (or procreating), just that Jasmin and Blake are less of a dumpster fire.

[RealReality]

14 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Same.  Next they'll invite people over to watch the paint dry in their shed.  And I love how he some how managed to have friends able to show up and help, but her coven, that stayed in their hotel room uncomfortably long when he arrived, couldn't be bothered.

Pfffft any wedding guest who knew Tania would arrive two hours late to avoid being forced to be free wedding labor.  

The suckers foolish enough to show up early or on time were just asking to be forced into donating manual labor for tanias wedding.  

I mean this is the woman who had no problem begging people for money on GFM to pay for some two week Costa Rican education vacation.....you think she is going to have any compunction about asking people to see up her wedding .....pffft.

[HunterHunted]

On 2/10/2020 at 8:43 PM, JocelynCavanaugh said:

According to the previews for the Tell-All, the plural of “text” is “Texas.”

On 2/10/2020 at 10:52 PM, magemaud said:

or "tex-tizz" 

 

I speak Real Housewives. The plural of text is "textes." Tim used another Real Housewives vocab word this week: "corn rolls." Ingrediences, distan, meanful, cyst and decease, juvial, notrocious. and holemill are other favorites.

[Pepper Mostly]

17 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

You would have loved our ten minute ceremony.  It would have been nine but I was crying!

Hahaha, mine was probably five. The JP showed up and I red penciled his notes like mad. "Nope, just cut to the chase. Do you? Do you? Great, you're married".

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 2/10/2020 at 8:41 PM, Guiltypleasure25 said:

I do have a little bit of a soft spot for Robert and Anny.  But his trick at the wedding was not cool.

I hate that kind of fake-out.  Seriously.  I would have said, "Fuck you" and turned on my red heels and left.  Marrying him to get a green card is one thing; putting up with that is way too much to ask.

 

On 2/11/2020 at 7:49 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

The minute we hear the happy couple are getting matching tatoos we know that relationship is doomed! 

I would normally predict that the nail in the coffin would be the vow renewal, but surely those vows will never be renewed, or spoken again.

 

23 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

”Syngin” is apparently a real name, based on a form of “Saint John,” so she may feel like she has to cancel out that icky Christian vibe with something like Damian or Mephistopheles. “Satanica” is cute for a girl.  

I would personally donate to their college fund if they gave their children names like Rebecca and James.  

Rebecca and James are good examples of what they won't do.  I'm sure they would jump on Mabel or Cletus because they're so retro and cool, but middle-of-the-road Rebecca and James?  No way.

Personally, I've always thought Chlamydia is a pretty name for a girl. 

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

Pfffft any wedding guest who knew Tania would arrive two hours late to avoid being forced to be free wedding labor.  

The suckers foolish enough to show up early or on time were just asking to be forced into donating manual labor for tanias wedding.  

I mean this is the woman who had no problem begging people for money on GFM to pay for some two week Costa Rican education vacation.....you think she is going to have any compunction about asking people to see up her wedding .....pffft.

I can see the invitation (sent out by e-mail the day before):

"Please be sure to arrive before (whatever time they were supposed to start the wedding), as the ceremony is being videotaped for broadcast on '90-Day Fiance.'  The production crew's time is valuable, so everything has to run according to a very-tight schedule.

Also, please print out and sign the attached release so your face won't have to be blurred out for the show."

[BallisticNikki]

58 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

I speak Real Housewives. The plural of text is "textes." Tim used another Real Housewives vocab word this week: "corn rolls." Ingrediences, distan, meanful, cyst and decease, juvial, notrocious. and holemill are other favorites.

What do cyst and holemill refer to?😆

[Spike]

17 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I can see the invitation (sent out by e-mail the day before):

"Please be sure to arrive before (whatever time they were supposed to start the wedding), as the ceremony is being videotaped for broadcast on '90-Day Fiance.'  The production crew's time is valuable, so everything has to run according to a very-tight schedule.

Also, please print out and sign the attached release so your face won't have to be blurred out for the show."

Hey at least she didn’t ask them to pull an all-nighter like the shed debacle.

[HunterHunted]

51 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

What do cyst and holemill refer to?😆

"Cyst and decease" is actually a "cease and desist" letter from an attorney. We can thank former Real Housewife of Orange County Tamra Judge for that one.

"Holemill" is from the common phrase "don't make a mountain out of a mole hill." Unfortunately (or fortunately for viewers), Real Housewife of NY Ramona Singer seems to believe the phrase is actually "don't make a mountain out of a holemill."

I didn't even get into Teresa mixing up the words "edamame" and "enema" or her estranged husband getting confused about whether Christmas was the celebration of Jesus' birth or his death.

Edited February 12, 2020 by HunterHunted

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I would normally predict that the nail in the coffin would be the vow renewal

especially if your vow renewal dress shopping is featured in a crossover episode of "Say Yes to the Dress." So far, only the Duggars have survived that event. 

[BallisticNikki]

1 hour ago, HunterHunted said:

"Cyst and decease" is actually a "cease and desist" letter from an attorney. We can thank former Real Housewife of Orange County Tamra Judge for that one.

"Holemill" is from the common phrase "don't make a mountain out of a mole hill." Unfortunately (or fortunately for viewers), Real Housewife of NY Ramona Singer seems to believe the phrase is actually "don't make a mountain out of a holemill."

I didn't even get into Teresa mixing up the words "edamame" and "enema" or her estranged husband getting confused about whether Christmas was the celebration of Jesus' birth or his death.

😂😂😶😂😂

 

***

I'm surprised how little speculation is being made as to the Natalie and Mike situation.

[Mrs. Hanson]

27 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

I'm surprised how little speculation is being made as to the Natalie and Mike situation.

My thoughts:  He had coffee with an ex or something very small (and I am just guessing, not spoiling) and she went nutty.  So now she wants to change him via his religion and says she does not trust him.  Put a pin in it, kids.  

[BallisticNikki]

5 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

My thoughts:  He had coffee with an ex or something very small (and I am just guessing, not spoiling) and she went nutty.  So now she wants to change him via his religion and says she does not trust him.  Put a pin in it, kids.  

Yeah, that would seem like the most likely thing but then he also cautioned her, "you need to be more responsible" before he walked off camera.

 

[Hangin Out]

On 2/11/2020 at 2:06 PM, Lemur said:

Do they get credit for it not being a face/neck tattoo?  No?  No credit?  Moving on ...

Years from now, Syngin will look back on that story and wonder that maybe, just maybe, if that bouncer had felt like bodily removing a crazy drunk American, he wouldn't be in this mess. 

I just can’t see Tania staying home taking care of children, especially when they are sick and you want to pull your hair out.  She’s a drinking party girl who has to be out enjoying herself.

[magemaud]

19 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Next they'll invite people over to watch the paint dry in their shed

After the friends PAINT the shed! 

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, BallisticNikki said:

I'm surprised how little speculation is being made as to the Natalie and Mike situation.

Which one refused to hug the other goodbye at the airport? If it was Mike, maybe Natalie is angry about that or if it was Natalie who walked away, maybe she’s upset he didn’t come running after her? 

[Mrs. Hanson]

3 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Which one refused to hug the other goodbye at the airport? If it was Mike, maybe Natalie is angry about that or if it was Natalie who walked away, maybe she’s upset he didn’t come running after her? 

He asked for a hug and she refused and he left.

[magemaud]

I’ll bet Mike’s unforgivable offense was refusing to give Natalie a ride on his suitcase at the airport. 

[Spike]

2 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

My thoughts:  He had coffee with an ex or something very small (and I am just guessing, not spoiling) and she went nutty.  So now she wants to change him via his religion and says she does not trust him.  Put a pin in it, kids.  

I say her college friend whom they had dinner with claims Mike flirted with her while Natalie took her pencil skirt to powder her nose.

[BallisticNikki]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

Which one refused to hug the other goodbye at the airport? If it was Mike, maybe Natalie is angry about that or if it was Natalie who walked away, maybe she’s upset he didn’t come running after her? 

Is it related to

Spoiler

the Ferrari comment? Or did that happen later? Or totally unrelated?

 

[Matty]

Tania always looks like she needs a shower. The adjective that comes to mind for her feminine scent is earthy or musky. Can you imagine the smell after working outside in the yard all afternoon setting up for the wedding and then putting her wedding dress on for the ceremony? Shudder. I'm so glad TLC doesn't have the budget for Smell-O-Vision ala John Waters. The stink emanating from Tania and her mother, after Mom smokes ciggies and swigs Jack Daniels all afternoon, would not be pleasant.

Now Anna has four boys to take care of. Her two older sons seem more mature than Mursel. I would place Mursel's maturity level somewhere between Gino and Leo.  Closer to Leo. Mursel's IQ is probably borderline. He's not all there. I think he likes the sex with Anna like an adolescent boy would. When he paws at her it's like he's a thirteen year old boy in a forty-eight year old man's body. He's gross. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

31 minutes ago, Matty said:

Now Anna has four boys to take care of. Her two older sons seem more mature than Mursel.

Yes she does have four boys.  Except this one is infant level as he can't speak English.  He can't drive, he can't work (yet) and is a picky eater who pees on the toilet.  100% reliant on her for everything.  Lemon lemon lemon you lose, Anna.

 

1 hour ago, Spike said:

I say her college friend whom they had dinner with claims Mike flirted with her while Natalie took her pencil skirt to powder her nose.

Could be!  Perhaps he was just being friendly and it was unclear communication.  Or he got hammered and nailed her mom.  

[Tuneful]

37 minutes ago, Matty said:

 Mursel's IQ is probably borderline. He's not all there. I think he likes the sex with Anna like an adolescent boy would.  

I doubt Merdesell had ever had a date, a GF, a wife, or even a sister before Desperate in Nebraska sharked him. And he's never been downtown nor is he ever going there. That blue shirt, I'm amazed he did not wear it to his wedding.      

[Hangin Out]

5 minutes ago, Tuneful said:

I doubt Merdesell had ever had a date, a GF, a wife, or even a sister before Desperate in Nebraska sharked him. And he's never been downtown nor is he ever going there. That blue shirt, I'm amazed he did not wear it to his wedding.      

never mind.  Oh hell, he did operate the phone and computer to meet her on the bee site.  Why then, can’t he learn a word or two of English?  There’s sooo much more to marriage than sex.  Well, maybe that’s all she needs.

[blubld43]

1 hour ago, Matty said:

Tania always looks like she needs a shower. The adjective that comes to mind for her feminine scent is earthy or musky. Can you imagine the smell after working outside in the yard all afternoon setting up for the wedding and then putting her wedding dress on for the ceremony? Shudder. I'm so glad TLC doesn't have the budget for Smell-O-Vision ala John Waters. The stink emanating from Tania and her mother, after Mom smokes ciggies and swigs Jack Daniels all afternoon, would not be pleasant.

Couldn't agree more.  

I can see her a year from now giving birth to a baby she's too woke to actually care for, she'll demand Syngin "do his share!" since she carried the pregnancy .  Then come home at night and bitch at him because he has no career yet.

[Spike]

1 hour ago, Matty said:

The stink emanating from Tania and her mother, after Mom smokes ciggies and swigs Jack Daniels all afternoon, would not be pleasant.

No matter what Mom wears she looks like a bag of oranges.

[Kangatush]

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

never mind.  Oh hell, he did operate the phone and computer to meet her on the bee site.  Why then, can’t he learn a word or two of English?  There’s sooo much more to marriage than sex.  Well, maybe that’s all she needs.

I don't think it's even sex, I think it's the validation that some man wants her.  And she has learned a lot of Turkish.  Great for better communication, but like Karine learning English, it's less helpful than if the other spouse learned the language of the country where they actually live.

[bravofan27]

Syngin was particularly dreamy in this episode. I do think, that Syngin and Tania, both trying to understand the world and their fates through "energy" they "feel" are doomed. It becomes a head trip too quickly. I think she's playing head games with Syngin, and she's feeling guilty about it. 

What does big Mike do? he always seems like he's in slow motion. And he's always pursing his lips which annoys me. 

[Colfrmb2]

I’m terrified that Anna was... 90 days pregnant at her wedding.  Mursel got the green light from his family to stay in the US because now they will have an American grandchild.  Please reassure me that she just gained 50 lbs because she was stress eating but she looked really pregnant on her wedding day.

[DanaMB]

Do we know when the tell all was filmed? I know they are usually filmed closer to air date than the other episodes. 

[RealReality]

7 hours ago, Spike said:

I say her college friend whom they had dinner with claims Mike flirted with her while Natalie took her pencil skirt to powder her nose.

He asked her if she wanted to see the tiny alien in his pants?

6 hours ago, Spike said:

No matter what Mom wears she looks like a bag of oranges.

A bag of oranges looks fresh and tasty.  

Tania's mom doesn't look like either of those things.