Music Videos: The Worst

[Jeebus Cripes]

Don't you hate it when people try to be avant guard?  I give you, Patty Smyth's The Warrior.

I remember Smyth said in an interview that she hated everything about the video even then.  She mentioned a French "stylist" was brought in to do her wardrobe and makeup (she complained how her costume made her look shorter than she really was), and the whole "storyline" seemed to be some strange post apocalyptic theme - I think.  I still love the song, but the video is all kinds of wrong!

 

OMG, I kind of love it, though.

Edited November 22, 2014 by Jeebus Cripes

[GaT]

Don't you hate it when people try to be avant guard?  I give you, Patty Smyth's The Warrior.

 

 

I remember Smyth said in an interview that she hated everything about the video even then.  She mentioned a French "stylist" was brought in to do her wardrobe and makeup (she complained how her costume made her look shorter than she really was), and the whole "storyline" seemed to be some strange post apocalyptic theme - I think.  I still love the song, but the video is all kinds of wrong!

Didn't she have some kind of say in her own video? 

[harrie]

The Warrior is classically craptastic, I love it.  If a Patti Smith song is on the radio, either the hub or I will mention how much we like her other song, the one that goes "shooting down the walls of heartache, bang-bang" complete with the pistol gesture thingy.  Because Patti Smith and Patty Smyth are very different, stylistically.

 

Smyth (or the band) may not have had much say in the video.  Record labels and managers had more power in the '80s than today. John Mellencamp was forced to use the names John and Johnny Cougar for years, and had to fight to add his real name after Cougar.  Eventually he dropped the Cougar part completely, but that took some time, too. 

 

Music trivia note:  Zack Smyth, one of the founding members of Scandal, is from my hometown.

[Shannon L.]

 

and the whole "storyline" seemed to be some strange post apocalyptic theme

Wasn't that a thing for a while in the 80s?  Off the top of my head w/o researching I can think of Wild Boys by Duran Duran and Bop 'Til You Drop by Rick Springfield (if I'm remembering it correctly). 

[magicdog]

Yeah it was.

 

Don't forget Loverboy's "Queen of The Broken Hearts", Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers' "You Got Lucky" and Kiss' "Lick It Up".

 

I think it had to do with the popularity of the Mad Max films.

[aurora296]

I have to say I challenged anyone who claims to be the Bowie Fiend to a duel. Of course I specialize in everything from 60's, 70's and lost my obsession soon after he went commercial with Let's Dance. Speaking of....that video sucks. 

 

But I digress...Hurt's So Good by John Cougar Mellencamp makes me want to stab my eyes out. How much did it cost to produce this? Twenty bucks? And not that I'm the hottest looking person around, but these are some of the most unattractive people in a music video ever. Those bikers girls can't dance work a lick and are as sexy as Richard Simmons. See for your selves:

 

Personally I don't mind Dancing In the Street with Bowie/ Jagger because clearly they did this for fun and weren't vowing to win MTV's Video of the Year with it. 

 

Also, I kinda dig Peter Wolfe's dancing and Centerfold holds a special place in my heart. I like the girls too and the expressions they make. 

[DkNNy79]

Nick Jonas' "Jealous" - I consider this song a guilty pleasure of mine.  I never liked the Jonas' Brothers, but I think this song is catchy.

The video is so stupid and low budget.  Really??  That's the best you can come up with.

[Rick Kitchen]

I dunno, "Jealous" sounds to me like Nick Jonas is trying to pass himself off as black.

[Watermelon]

I dunno, "Jealous" sounds to me like Nick Jonas is trying to pass himself off as black.

Nick Jonas is like Ben Savage (Cory Matthews) to me.  I've never been convinced they weren't a lil black.  

 

Especially Ben, but that's not the topic for this lol 

[GaT]

I hated this song from the second I heard the first notes, Tuesday by ILOVEMAKONNEN. His voice is horrible so I can't stand to listen to him, but what really drives me crazy is he acts out the entire song with his hands. When he sings "goin' up" he points up, when he sings "on Tuesday" he puts up two fingers, he points all over the place while he "sings". HATE

[potatoradio]

This is obvious, but I have to put Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off" video here. It's not even cheesy fun; it's so poorly done and awful I got angry for wasting minutes of my life watching it. I would rather watch one of those painful videos from Dance Moms (yeah, I include "Girl Party") than subject myself to this shite. Oh, yeah, Taylor, this hater's gonna hate hate hate hate hate....you shake it off anywhere other than my teevee or computer...

 

 

 

 

[magicdog]

This is obvious, but I have to put Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off" video here. It's not even cheesy fun; it's so poorly done and awful I got angry for wasting minutes of my life watching it.

 

 

 

Agreed.  One would think that these "experts" could have done better (I miss the good old days of MTV when videos had more personality to them).  In fact, the videos posted on YT made by fans often look far better conceptually.

Edited January 26, 2015 by magicdog

[TrininisaScorp]

I adore this piece of 80s glory, but Too Shy by Kajagoogoo is a TERRIBLE, painful video.  I'm convinced they didn't even have proper lighting for the video: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKWbMJOIkUk 

Edited February 11, 2015 by TrininisaScorp

[BatmanBeatles]

Yeah what was with the panning shots of the waitress?

[DeLurker]

Awww...I've always loved it. The singers knotted shirt? I so wanted that! Granted not a great video in terms of story or film technique, but this was 1983ish and MTV and videos were all still new (1981).

The waitress was interested in the singer, but was too shy to let him know (or maybe She was just luded out which was big at the time). If you make it to the end, the singer is sorta trying to catch her eye.

[GaT]

The song isn't bad, but every time I see this video all I can think about is Ciara's crotch. It's just too front & center.

[AntiBeeSpray]

I love the "Literal Video Verson" of it:

 

 

OMG. That was just priceless. XD

 

I HATE that song with a passion, but that Literal version is awesome!

[Kromm]

Ugh.  Taylor Swift, who's mostly been on a roll, justed turned out a real rancid turd of a video (and the song's not that great either):

 

 

 

It's just a pointless unending stream of cameos, with a ridiculous, annoying faux-girl-power framework (vs. a real legit girl-power framework, which would consist of more than them all being "powerful" because they are all in black leather and are faux-spies fighting and sneering at each other).

The fake names they give them all makes it even funnier.  It's like they justified them all by giving them complex character sketches backgrounds we're never going to get to see in their individual 3 seconds each in a mere 4 minute long video. 

[funkopop]

Ugh.  Taylor Swift, who's mostly been on a roll, justed turned out a real rancid turd of a video (and the song's not that great either):

 

 

 

It's just a pointless unending stream of cameos, with a ridiculous, annoying faux-girl-power framework (vs. a real legit girl-power framework, which would consist of more than them all being "powerful" because they are all in black leather and are faux-spies fighting and sneering at each other).

The fake names they give them all makes it even funnier.  It's like they justified them all by giving them complex character sketches backgrounds we're never going to get to see in their individual 3 seconds each in a mere 4 minute long video. 

 

Out of all the songs on her album Bad Blood was my least favorite.  I can listen to the whole album but Bad Blood always gets skipped along with Shake It Off. There was huge hype over this video on social media and her daily release of 2 posters of the characters and everything heightened my anticipation.  I saw the video during  the awards and was let down.  If you're going to go all out then really go all out.  Her crew of famous friends barely had any point other than a glorified cameo.  She managed to get Cindy Crawford, Mariska Hargitay and Ellen Pompeo and all she did was just nod at them.  I hope there is a 15 minute short video waiting to be released, with dialogue and plot.   Since Bad Blood is supposedly about Katy Perry there was speculation that she would be dissing her in the video but I didn't see any of that.

 

Also it might as well had been Kendrick Lamar's song, I think he had more verses than she did.

[Kromm]

Katy on the so called issue:  http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/05/18/katy-perry-reaction-taylor-swift-bad-blood-video-diss/

Edited May 18, 2015 by Kromm

[Rick Kitchen]

Yet again another Taylor Swift song about how she's so much better than everybody else, who just picks on her because they're jealous.  It is old.

[cpcathy]

 

Also it might as well had been Kendrick Lamar's song, I think he had more verses than she did.

 

I kept skipping ahead just to see who the celebs were and every time I stopped, he was singing and not her.

[Princess Sparkle]

Not only was the video so freaking lame, for someone who's been all "GIRL POWER" over the past year, the vibe of the video is super mean-girl to me. It comes off so "HAHA KATY! ALL THESE FAMOUS WOMEN ARE ON MY SIDE!!! EAT IT!"

I mean, all this over some backup dancers and John Mayer? Desperate is right.

[cpcathy]

She really seems to have turned into The Monster That Ate Pop Music.

[AstaCharles]

Ok , I caved and watched that video. That song is lame. Every time I see something about Taylor Swift or Katy Perry, I just want to go and listen to Gwen Stefani.

[UYI]

Not only was the video so freaking lame, for someone who's been all "GIRL POWER" over the past year, the vibe of the video is super mean-girl to me. It comes off so "HAHA KATY! ALL THESE FAMOUS WOMEN ARE ON MY SIDE!!! EAT IT!"

I mean, all this over some backup dancers and John Mayer? Desperate is right.

 

Would any of you be interested in an individual thread about Taylor Swift? Just as a place to direct all talk--love, hate, in between (I'm in the latter group, for the record)--about her, given her power over pretty much everyone else in the music industry right now.

 

Anyway:

 

Katy herself has a few notable celebrity friends: Rihanna, Adele, Allison Williams (see? Taylor may have Lena Dunham, but Katy has Allison!). And I have to give her credit: She has pretty much kept silent throughout this so-called feud, except for the Regina George comment she made on Twitter when this feud first became a story. Good for her.

 

As for the video? Taylor is a HUGE Kendrick Lamar fan girl, so if she were to ever have a rap remix with someone, it might as well be him. But DAMN, I like the album version better, and it's not even my favorite on 1989 (better than "Shake It Off", though. Then again, so is malaria.)

 

She's my age, so I'll admit it's hard for me occasionally to look at her tall, slim frame and long legs, and then look back at my short, curvier frame and big boobs, and not want to switch bodies with her every once in awhile (not to mention paychecks). It hurts sometimes. LOL. :P

 

But to the main point: I agree. It does seem like she's just showing off how many beautiful supermodels she has as friends, and the video is just so rushed and pointless. Just...no.

 

For the record, though, I have things I like and don't like about both Taylor and Katy. I'm Team Switzerland, really. ;)

Edited May 20, 2015 by UYI

[Kromm]

She really seems to have turned into The Monster That Ate Pop Music.

I actually liked Blank Space, because it actually seemed like a semi-clever counter to the years of jokes about the process of being Taylor Swift's boyfriend = being fodder for her next break up song (review the lyrics--it's very much making light of that).  But this Bad Blood song in contrast is bad, and the video as I said before is the very opposite of clever.  She's lost most of the ground she made up with me just from this.  

[Janet Snakehole]

I hated Bad Blood on the album, but Kendrick Lamar makes it almost tolerable. Honestly, he is the person that I am most impressed that Taylor roped into the whole thing.

Weirdly, it reminds me very much of a Katy Perry song. I could see it being one of her songs much more than a Taylor Swift song. I would almost think she used the style on purpose to make fun of Katy, had she not released it as a single.

Also, John Mayer may help Katy write a song about Taylor now. Great. They are all assholes.

Edited May 29, 2015 by Janet Snakehole

[UYI]

Eh, I'll believe it when I see it. Katy's been almost entirely silent on this issue herself, so until I hear a quote from her about this, I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. It's all gossip right now. 

[wanderingstar]

Liberian Girl by Michael Jackson is a lovely song. No clue what they were thinking for the video, though.

[Rick Kitchen]

I posted this over in the American Idol thread, but Katharine McPhee's new video is just bizarre.

 

[GaT]

Dear God, whose idea was this? From the Matefit product placement as soon as the video starts, to the valley girl speak, to the dancing, & especially to Iggy Azalea & her glowing eyes "acting" like an alien, this video is horrible. The song itself is insipid at best, but it could have coasted, this video makes sure that it's going on the "worst of" list of Britney Spears songs. I give you "Pretty Girls" by Britney Spears & Iggy Azalea.

[GaT]

I like the song, but the video, WTF? Calvin Harris Pray to God featuring Haim

[Beezel]

She managed to get Cindy Crawford, Mariska Hargitay and Ellen Pompeo and all she did was just nod at them. 

So dumb. Particularly when Taytay and the squad were walking like they are all badass  in front of that explosion. I couldn't help screaming, "but...Mariska's right over there!" as she's taking the models and Selena into  heat of battle or whatever (Zendaya though, you are adorable and  deserve better). 

Edited July 10, 2015 by Beezel

[UYI]

Dear God, whose idea was this? From the Matefit product placement as soon as the video starts, to the valley girl speak, to the dancing, & especially to Iggy Azalea & her glowing eyes "acting" like an alien, this video is horrible. The song itself is insipid at best, but it could have coasted, this video makes sure that it's going on the "worst of" list of Britney Spears songs. I give you "Pretty Girls" by Britney Spears & Iggy Azalea.

 

It still wasn't smart for Iggy to blame Britney for why it failed, though. That was a dumbass move if I ever saw one. 

[GaT]

I just saw this for the first time. The song sucks, the video sucks, and at some point, Madonna has to realize she's not a 17 year old brat anymore. I don't expect her to curl up & die, or start wearing ladies-who-lunch clothes, but come on, she's in her 50s, show a little sophistication. She keeps trying to be shocking, but she's just ridiculous.

[anony mouse]

It still wasn't smart for Iggy to blame Britney for why it failed, though. That was a dumbass move if I ever saw one.

Yeah, Igloo Australia seems to be struggling at the game. I heard her tour was canceled, too?

[Jeebus Cripes]

I just saw this for the first time. The song sucks, the video sucks, and at some point, Madonna has to realize she's not a 17 year old brat anymore. I don't expect her to curl up & die, or start wearing ladies-who-lunch clothes, but come on, she's in her 50s, show a little sophistication. She keeps trying to be shocking, but she's just ridiculous.

 

That was truly horrifying in every aspect.

[UYI]

I will say this, though: Unlike Taylor Swift, whose video for "Bad Blood" had more allegedly famous people* than not, "Bitch I'm Madonna" is at least entirely made up of genuine celebrities and Rita Ora. If you're going to have an alleged all star video, you better make damn sure it includes actual CELEBRITIES.

 

*That said, she did get Cindy Crawford and Jessica Alba, which definitely qualify as biggies, along with her longtime BFF Selena Gomez. Throw Mariska Hargitay in there, too. 

 

To be fair to Madonna, though, her previous single, "Ghosttown" was amazing and deserved to do MUCH better than it did. 

[Twilight Man]

On 5/31/2015 at 2:29 PM, Gillian Rosh said:

Liberian Girl by Michael Jackson is a lovely song. No clue what they were thinking for the video, though.

They were thinking "Let's shove as many people into this video as we can."  I would like to know what they were thinking about the "video" within the video.

I'm surprised nobody mentioned (I) "Can't Fight This Feeling" (Any More) sung by REO Speedwagon.  After hiring a professional film artist to make a "high concept"
video for their next big hit after making it big with "Keep On Loving You", the band was initially appalled by his "vision".  The band then put together a

much more simple video.  The label company decided to have MTV air both versions. 

[BuyMoreAndSave]

Good old black metal always delivers the hilarity.

 

[Trini]

It's been a while since I've seen a TERRIBLE 80s music video. This played at my work today, and I decided to look up the video -- GOOD GRACIOUS the hair! ...And non-existent budget. ...And the anti-charisma of this band... and the horrible camera work....

The Romantics - 'Talking in Your Sleep' :

 

The song is fine, though.

Edited August 28, 2018 by Trini

[GaT]

Can someone tell me what the problem is with the female singer in Sofi Tukker in their videos? No matter what song it is, it just looks like she's mouthing the words to the song & not singing. Even though she's the person who recorded the song, it always looks like she's trying to sing to somebody else's voice. Hopefully I'm explaining it so you can understand, but just watch her "sing" in these videos.

 

 

[Dandesun]

 

The most literal video I ever recall seeing back in the day. I think this is more literal than the actual parody literal videos they make anymore.

[Blergh]

Utterly HATED Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself". Passing by a chained-up and captive, brutalized woman but making no attempt at rescuing her much less condemning the brutality  but just shrugging the whole criminal scene as if  it  was normal while gleefully riding an elevator singing his own praises is NOT COOL!  And, yes, I thought so WAY BACK THEN,too!

Edited December 22, 2018 by Blergh
if

[catlover79]

I love Journey and I love the song, but the video they did for "Separate Ways" is still too cheesy for words. 😂

[Dandesun]

On 7/7/2019 at 12:16 PM, catlover79 said:

I love Journey and I love the song, but the video they did for "Separate Ways" is still too cheesy for words. 😂

It's such a terrible video that it kind of comes back around to be spectacular in it's cheesiness. "Okay guys... we're going to a lumber yard... and you're going to full on MIME playing your instruments for a lot of this... okay, now gather together... tighter... tighter... and fucking EMOTE AT THE CAMERA!!"

[Twilight Man]

Well, your mileage may vary on some of these, but................

MTV actually did a special a long while back, you know, when they actually showed music videos.

The "LAME" 25 was a special hosted by Jon Stewart, Denis Leary, Janeane Garofalo, and Chris Kattan.

The LAME include such "gems" as Eddie Murphy's "other" song (the one with MJ singing along), Hall and Oates "ManEater", perrenial unfavorite Toni Basil's "Mickey", and Macarena backlash was on full display back at this point.

Then Vanilla Ice showed up, and went bonkers when the panel put his song on the list. (It should have been his other song, which you saw earlier).

By the way, the winner (or should I say loser) --------  Don Johnson's "Heartbeat"

Edited August 29, 2019 by Twilight Man

[Trini]

2 hours ago, Twilight Man said:

The "LAME" 25 was a special hosted by Jon Stewart, Denis Leary, Janeane Garofalo, and Chris Kattan.

Hey, I think I remember watching that! Didn't someone end up destroying the actual tape of one of the worst videos at the end? I think it was Vanilla Ice with a baseball bat.

[Maisiesmom]

On 8/19/2019 at 3:20 PM, Dandesun said:

It's such a terrible video that it kind of comes back around to be spectacular in it's cheesiness. "Okay guys... we're going to a lumber yard... and you're going to full on MIME playing your instruments for a lot of this... okay, now gather together... tighter... tighter... and fucking EMOTE AT THE CAMERA!!"

And that woman in the video with the big hair, tight skirt and too much eye make-up didnt see the purpose of her at all. All she did was walk around-I thought it was stupid.