S09.E05: Paradise Lost?

[aphroditewitch]

10 minutes ago, lizajane said:

BUT this is not the first time she has done this. Her sister said she supported her last live in guy who apparently was a user and a leech. That is all I am saying.

While I think Amber is easily manipulated with money, Matt put her in a crappy position. He is giving her mixed signals. He signed up for this telling the show and then after the wedding telling her that he was ready to settle down in one place. Now he is telling her the opposite by saying he might sign on to a new basketball contract, which would make building his business nearly impossible. 

[Blissfool]

7 hours ago, Soup333 said:

Regarding Amber's salary claims. I tried to find the current Charlotte public employees database but her name wasn't popping up (and it kept giving me the Charlotte Observer website, which was making annoying ads pop up). I was able to find this info from bizjournals.com. It's two years old though. The article is dated 2017.

I don't think that's her current school. So maybe new school, new salary? Would have doubled her income in two years if what she told Matt is true.

Amber is NOT making $80k by teaching alone; especially being 27 yrs old. In my district, beginning teachers make $45k. Teachers with 35+ yrs make $69k. A master's degree increases your salary by $3k. She probably coaches an after-school sport or two and gets a $5-7.5k stipend for that. We usually get "paid" with CPE hours for attending trainings and conferences. Tutoring and summer school gets you $35/hr.

I realize that salaries vary by district, but I can't imagine that her district in NC is very different from the norm.

[Blissfool]

I just went on the Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools website. Their salary schedule is posted. Yep, there's no way she's earning $80 by teaching. 

[Auntie]

Deonna – respectable, worldwind? Seriously? SMH.  I nicknamed her Cruella DeVille in a previous post. Maybe a tad harsh, but she certainly is judgmental, and likes to talk-down to Greg. And when he mentioned he was previously engaged, she admitted she had to tell herself to “not go off” on him about it. WHAT? It was 2 years ago, while you were busy shutting yourself inside and away from humanity, God forbid somebody else go out and have a life. Get over yourself, Cruella. You don’t deserve how patient Greg is being with you.

Iris – ask  me, not aks. SMH.  You’re voice is such a turnoff, and the way you go all 'like from the hood' when you’re trying to impress. Not a good look for you. I think you are my second least favorite person in this year’s cast, with DaddyBeth getting first nod.

DaddyBeth – On Unfiltered pretty much forgot to wear an outfit. Her boobs falling out, it’s a wonder daddy didn’t come running on set and fondle them before putting them back into her dress. Uncultured, filthy-mouthed, loud-mouthed, drama queen. You are memorable, alright, but not in the way you think you are in your little mind. Oh, and her comment on Unfiltered about not telling the other wives about Jamie poking her the night before ‘cuz she wanted that to be private - - excuse me, you’re the one who flaunted it on national TV, you moron

Jamie – Dollar Store is having a sale on gonads (balls) Perhaps you should go there and buy a pair as you obviously weren’t born with any. Tell that bitch of a wife to shut the fuck, grow up and act like a lady instead of $10 (something I shouldn't write). And while you’re at the Dollar Store shopping for your balls, pick up a different hat and a shirt that fits..

Amber – slow learner, huh? Didn’t you do the same thing with your checks in one of your previous relationships? Let the guy have it? SMH. For being a teacher you sure are dumb. And you apparently lied about your salary as well.– gasp, could it be that a cast member lied? Say it ain’t so…And on Unfiltered, you were almost as badly dressed as DaddyBeth.

Matt – you’re almost another snake-in-the-grass-Luke. But then, when Amber is so quick to let you dunk the basketball (wink wink), I guess you’re bound to go for it. Your “cameos” in front of the camera, alone, you talk a good game – how long did it take you to memorize those lines?

[Ohwell]

11 hours ago, Soup333 said:

She comes off as a little bit Mrs. Knowitall when the wives are all together though, which is odd to me. 

Yeah that's the bit about Iris that I find annoying, like she's the font of wisdom regarding relationships.  *rolls eyes* 

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

Men love the thrill of the hunt!  No hunter wants his prey to lay down in front of him!

I think that anyone interested in “the thrill of the hunt” wouldn’t be on MAFS...

[PityFree]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

I’m gonna butt in, but, I THINK she said something like “do what you have to do, and then take a shower”.  I taped it, so I’ll take another look see and get back.  I was kind of surprised she would say something like that.

Thank you! I couldn’t remember exactly what she said. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I live in a one of the more expensive NC areas and it’s has a pretty low compensation scale for teachers though there have been some modest gains. I have friends who have 15-20 years of teaching experience, master’s degrees, lots of professional development and the one with 20 years experience, teacher of the year, etc makes around $60,000. Unless Amber has a side job I don’t see how it’s possible. Most teachers I know who don’t have a spouse or partner to share expensive with work other jobs. She definitely has another source of income. 

[STRIDER1]

On 7/10/2019 at 7:32 PM, gingerandcloves said:

Last season has 2 couples who are still together, but they started with 4 - so a 50% success rate for that season.

Yeah well thats true but I wouldnt exactly celebrate that fact and pop open the million dollar champagne just quite yet hahaha

Overall in 8 seasons, only 6 of the 25 are still married at this point.

S1 - jamie/doug (had a kid)

S5 - ashley/anthony (had a kid)

S6 - shawniece/jephte (had a kid)

S7 - danielle/bobby - (had a kid)

S8 - steph/aj (hes the kid lol)

S8 - kristine/keith (hes the kid too lol)

Thats a very disappointing yet not all too surprising 24% success rate/76% failure rate.

Edited July 12, 2019 by STRIDER1

[topanga]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I think that anyone interested in “the thrill of the hunt” wouldn’t be on MAFS...

LOL. This is Jurassic Park— the experts give you your goat. 

[Real Housewife LI]

Matt’s voice/diction is super annoying...i can’t pinpoint what bothers me...but it just does. 

Jamie’s moobs and dad bod in his tight shirts and too small crushed fedora are an equal match to his wife’s awful boobs that he seems to find irresistible 

[topanga]

6 minutes ago, Real Housewife LI said:

Matt’s voice/diction is super annoying...i can’t pinpoint what bothers me...but it just does. 

Jamie’s moobs and dad bod in his tight shirts and too small crushed fedora are an equal match to his wife’s awful boobs that he seems to find irresistible 

Matt’s voice has an urban affectation that probably comes from years of being around black basketball players. But he also has the slow cadence of a Southern man.

And I don’t think anyone has to have a perfect body to be on TV. Maybe Jamie used to be morbidly obese, but he lost 100 pounds. Or maybe he’s on medication that makes him gain weight. 

Edited July 12, 2019 by topanga

[2727]

It seemed to me like the "romantic" outdoor dinners with Deonna/Greg and Amber/Matt were after their first full honeymoon day, same as the other two couples. They were discussing basic get-to-know-you things.

I also wouldn't be surprised if Matt's bombshell about possibly leaving the country is what caused Amber to look so deflated the rest of the week.

[configdotsys]

I’m watching this a day late because I have no idea what shows are on on what day and time anymore… And now I have Marrying Millions to add to the mix.

Not sure about anyone else, but if my stranger, five day old husband lost his wedding ring by accidentally dropping it on the beach, I wouldn’t take an attitude about it like Iris did. Her “freaking out” was ridiculous and unhelpful. Help him look for it. It’s not like he wanted to drop it and possibly lose it. 

Elizabeth saying “Fuck you, Jamie,” reminded me of a friend of mine who was relaying a story about her husband. She had planned a surprise party for him finishing his degree in his 40s and when they go to the restaurant, he noticed his sister’s car was right outside and his other sister’s van right next to it. He looked at his wife and said, “You’re an asshole,” and laughed. I have to say that I was startled to hear that. I know all relationships are different but I would never, ever say that to my husband even in a joking way and he would never say that to me. Not judging on anyone. It was just so jarring. I felt for Jamie when she said that to him but another part of me understands why Elizabeth was so furious. Imagine truly feeling completely nauseated and stressed and your husband saying to you— in front of a group of others— “You’re so dramatic.” Not smart, Jamie.

If we took a shot every time Amber said “husband,” we’d all be passed out less than 30 minutes into the show. He looks completely disinterested in her. If he was in love with her, he would not be having any conversations about possibly signing another contract to play b-ball in another country. His comments sound like things he rehearsed and memorized or something.

I have a problem with Amber telling Matt that she makes enough to take care of a family so he won’t have to leave. If he loved her, he would take a local job or a course or something in order to stay with her. Did she turn over her paycheck to her previous boyfriend to keep him too? Color me confused. Amber’s selfie cam video said that Matt told her that she humiliated him about the money and made it sound like he was broke. He said nothing remotely close to that on the camera when they were talking. I think there’s a lot of Matt we don’t see. I get sort of an angry vibe there. Maybe he’s internally angry because he never hit it big in sports and has the added stress of whatever is going on in his family. I don’t know but their whole encounter was just weird to me. 

I’m not seeing the problem with Greg having been engaged and living with someone before. Not everyone swears off dating for their entire 20s because their high school relationship didn’t work out. I don’t understand Deonna using the word “hurt” to describe how she feels about him having had a fiance before. I was more concerned that Greg said he had “control issues” and a toxic relationship that required therapy. Should be interesting to see how this progresses as it seems Deonna’s walls are beginning to crumble.

[aphroditewitch]

1 hour ago, topanga said:

aphroditewitch, I hope your stalker is long gone and that you are safe. I initially misread your post and thought you said you'd been a stalker, and I was like, "Girl, what did you do?"

LOL, no I did not stalk anyone. The stalker is now rather old and last I heard she is disabled. I was a teen at the time (I'm now in my thirties) and for some reason a middle-aged woman in the neighborhood became obsessed with me. It was creepy, she would follow me, send me things, and had the nerve to cry to people about how I didn't like her. I have no idea why she became so obsessed with a teenage girl or what her deal was. The police were not particularly helpful and did not take it very seriously. Her attempts to get near me or contact me tapered off after I went away to college. I'm glad social media was not around back then or it probably would have been worse. 

I feel like Amber is lost at how to deal with Matt because he is sending her mixed signals when he needs to just spit it out. I'm hoping she is less naive that she is currently coming across. A teacher should be more savvy.

[Mercolleen]

I cannot believe that Big E claimed to be a private person.

[Ohwell]

Amber just sounded so desperate, waving her $80k salary in front of Matt.  I think she has self-esteem issues.

Jamie does come off as creepy now, like as soon as his fascination with Elizabeth's boobs wanes, he might stuff her body somewhere.   I know, I know, I'm kinda joking, but he does seem creepy. 

Ok Iris could eat a few sammiches.  I couldn't help myself.

[STRIDER1]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

If we took a shot every time Amber said “husband,” we’d all be passed out less than 30 minutes into the show.

Lmao hahaha lol thats funny AF

I can totally picture all of us in here getting hammered before the 2nd or 3rd commercial break 🤣🤣

[Gem 10]

On 7/10/2019 at 9:59 PM, ECM1231 said:

I live on Long Island too and worked as a substitute teacher for a few years. The married teacher couples I knew were making major bucks. Tough to get a job here, though. 

I was a bit surprised b/c a teacher I knew here moved to Raleigh and said the teacher salaries sucked there.

Yep .. Between the Teachers and Police who work on Long Island, not New York City, they make the most money in the whole country.   The taxes on Long Island are outrageous.  We bought a new home in Florida and after one year, moved back to Long Island, and it cost us a fortune to buy another house, but we are happier here.  Long Island schools tend to hire their own quite often.  I worked in a Florida elementary school and was stunned they didn’t have a school nurse.  They just called 911.  Here on Long Island, they have everything a child needs.  

[OnTime]

2 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

Yeah well thats true but I wouldnt exactly celebrate that fact and pop open the million dollar champagne just quite yet hahaha

Overall in 8 seasons, only 6 of the 25 are still married at this point.

S1 - jamie/doug (had a kid)

S5 - ashley/anthoiny (had a kid)

S6 - shawniece/jephte (had a kid)

S7 - danielle/bobby - (had a kid)

S8 - steph/aj (hes the kid lol)

S8 - kristine/keith (hes the kid too lol)

Thats a very disappointing yet not all too surprising 24% success rate/76% failure rate.

What season did they start having the couples meet each other? I know they did it in S6 with Shawniece/Jept and Jackie and what's his name.   Seems that is helping with successes.

S2,3,4 they didn't met the other couples.

[qtpye]

8 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

True but he didn't have to start having sex with her. She's not been his type from the start; he even said on Unfiltered he was disappointed, but he jumped into sex with her anyway. He could've pumped the breaks instead of Amber, in an effort to see if there was anything there for him. I'd never slam the guy for not being attracted, & if he keeps his distance because of that it's more respectful IMO. But I do think the sex will end soon & he'll start keeping his distance, which is going to sting for Amber.

What did he say about Amber on unfiltered? On the wedding day did he have the typical “she’s beautiful” response that every groom has had on this show since season 1 (maybe with the exception of Luke). I just don’t remember his wedding day reaction.

[Stella Rose]

15 hours ago, topanga said:

Or swan-diving during the volleyball game and getting sand up her vagina. 

I feel for Amber--I got seasick on my honeymoon during a boat excursion, and it was awful. I think she and Matt had the most problems this week. Not just the money discussion or his possibly going oversees again to play basketball. In Unfiltered, she said they had good physical intimacy but not much emotional intimacy. And I felt that on the main show as well. I wonder if Matt has ever opened up to anyone. Or is it that he just doesn't feel that emotional chemistry with Amber?

Honestly, what was she wearing, or what medical issue does she have that a nose dive into he sand sends sand into her vag?  Honestly.   I don't know about you ladies, but mine is not gaping  open, just waiting  to gobble up anything going past it.   Mine kind of stays put - and closed - until I require it to do otherwise.

Matt...  he just seems like a dick.  I think poor Amber will be  written as the victim of this season.  He has already said in multiple interviews how disappointed he was that she is tiny.  Really?  DICK.

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, Auntie said:

Deonna – respectable, worldwind? Seriously? SMH.  I nicknamed her Cruella DeVille in a previous post. Maybe a tad harsh, but she certainly is judgmental, and likes to talk-down to Greg. And when he mentioned he was previously engaged, she admitted she had to tell herself to “not go off” on him about it. WHAT? It was 2 years ago, while you were busy shutting yourself inside and away from humanity, God forbid somebody else go out and have a life. Get over yourself, Cruella. You don’t deserve how patient Greg is being with you.

I wouldn't go so far as to call her Cruella DeVille, but I agree with you about her coming off as judgmental and talking down to Greg.  I don't see the sense of humor others are talking about either.  Nor do I see her walls crumbling for Greg either.  She is being over-rational about everything and that doesn't lend itself to romance.  I can't see her going from this attitude to being all open and yielding to him.  He's definitely being patient.  I get the sense that if she gave him the right signs he'd respond in kind, but as of yet I don't see her doing that and I don't hold out a ton of hope that she will anytime soon.

6 hours ago, Blissfool said:

I just went on the Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools website. Their salary schedule is posted. Yep, there's no way she's earning $80 by teaching. 

I don't buy it either, especially not in NC nor at age 27.  I understand why she might inflate her salary (because she's desperate to keep Matt), but that seems to me like a really screwed up thing to do on national TV.  I'm sure people that know her would know right away that it's a lie.  Maybe she has some kind of sideline?  A second job?  I'm reaching here.

4 hours ago, topanga said:

Matt’s voice has an urban affectation that probably comes from years of being around black basketball players. But he also has the slow cadence of a Southern man.

Ehhhhh, I don't think the slow cadence is because he's Southern but because he's a BONEHEAD.  He always looks mildly confused like he's stretching his ability to understand what's going on.  When Amber told the camera that he's "intellectual" I almost sprayed tea all over the room.  I think this car detailing business idea is about as intellectual as he's ever been in his entire life.  Of course I think that idea was entirely conceived to be contingent on whether or not he was really into his new wife, which he is obviously not.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Jamie does come off as creepy now, like as soon as his fascination with Elizabeth's boobs wanes, he might stuff her body somewhere.   I know, I know, I'm kinda joking, but he does seem creepy. 

I don't know if I find Jamie creepy but he is not typical.  I was the one that compared him to Jerry Seinfeld - If I didn't know he was from the South I would think he was from New York.  My jury is out on him in general.  He seems like a decent guy but I'm still not completely convinced because I sense that he is a good actor and may be putting on an act for TV.  Right now he seems really taken with Elizabeth, but as we all know she will become tiresome after his fascination wears off.  Her quirkiness and self centered-ness matched with a guy that the show calls "Mr. Picky" certainly calls their longevity into question right off the bat.

As far as bodies go, neither one of them has a great body but not everyone has one naturally.  Jamie does not have an athletic build to begin with and he doesn't strike me as the athletic type either.   I actually liked him in the hat.  He reminded me of everyone's Dad back in the 1960s.  I think he's going with his look in an ironic way.  I was thinking about a term I heard on another show I watch - I think Jamie has BDE (Big Dick Energy), LOL.  He's not classically attractive but there's something about him.  He's supposedly very successful in his career (whatever that is, I didn't catch that) and I can understand why.  He radiates success and quiet self-confidence.  BDE.

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Perhaps she didn't want to say that a catamaran lurching and jerking and swaying makes her do something disgusting and smelly and completely unromantic --throwing up!

But I saw and recognized the look on Elizabeth's face as that boat was being tossed around by large waves while racing toward the little island. She was redder than usual, she looked like she was forcing her mouth to stay shut (that's unusual for her!) and she was clearly embarrassed by being seen on TV (and by her brand-new spouse) like that. Elizabeth might have a fear of boats -- but I think it's because she gets sea-sick. 

I agree with you.  I suffer from wicked bad motion sickness and I would probably have been in quite a state after that boat ride.  I once went on one of those I-Max things where the whole room swayed and jiggled and bounced and was sick to my stomach for the rest of the day.  Considering I was on vacation in Las Vegas that was awful.  I felt like I was ruining the precious time we had there and was feeling so bad that I probably said and did a few things I would never have said or done otherwise.  When you're THAT sick it's easier than you think to be that cranky, and when you add Elizabeth's ultra-quirky personality to it, it's even worse!  Fortunately for me my husband knew me well when this happened and gave me a ton of slack.

I think that for some reason admitting she has motion sickness is more embarrassing for Elizabeth than just saying she doesn't like being on boats or whatever excuse she made up.  To me those excuses sounded like the BS and the truth was that it was motion sickness.  When she made a comment later to Jamie about "feeling lighter" because of last night, I got the impression she was referring to having thrown up or feeling too sick to eat.  Yeah, I caught that because it takes one to know one!

Who knows, the producers may have asked them if anyone suffered from motion sickness and Elizabeth said "no" so as not to look like a Debbie Downer, so she had to publicly make up some lie about why she was so anxious to go on the boat.  I can kind of relate to that too.  I remember when I was younger not wanting to miss out on a boat ride and then putting on a game face despite feeling really sick to my stomach because I was with a boyfriend and didn't want to "ruin the moment".

[Ilovepie]

4 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

Lmao hahaha lol thats funny AF

I can totally picture all of us in here getting hammered before the 2nd or 3rd commercial break 🤣🤣

If you added in the times Iris says it too we would need to go to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.....

[STRIDER1]

2 hours ago, Stella Rose said:

Honestly.   I don't know about you ladies, but mine is not gaping  open, just waiting  to gobble up anything going past it.   Mine kind of stays put - and closed - until I require it to do otherwise.

OMG this has got to be hands down the best and funniest quote Ive read so far on this forum

Im 100% serious too, this just jumped to #1 on my all time favorites list hahaha

If I could have like it a million times I would have, and would still be clicking away on my mouse right now to give u those 1 million likes lol

Just too funny hahaha lmao lol  🤣🤣🤣

[ramble]

Amber makes me sad. Her abandonment issues are so apparent. She even mentioned her fear of being left when Matt stumbled through his basketball escape clause. She needs therapy more than she needs that doofus. 

[Soup333]

3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

 I was thinking about a term I heard on another show I watch - I think Jamie has BDE (Big Dick Energy), LOL.  He's not classically attractive but there's something about him.  He's supposedly very successful in his career (whatever that is, I didn't catch that) and I can understand why.  He radiates success and quiet self-confidence.  BDE.

LOLLLLLL. NO. I've never heard of such a term but after reading the definition Jamie is about the lassssssstttt person I'd ever think of as having such a thing. Had you said Keith, yeah. I could see that quiet self-confidence. Jamie? Naaaaahhhhh.

That really tickled me. It's too early in the morning to be laughing this hard.

I'm with others who think Jamie isn't all that attractive and I don't see any real redeeming qualities in him besides the fact that he isn't as outlandish as his wife. He "loves" Elizabeth because she's a freak in the sheets.

[Jeanne222]

I'm kind of surprised we haven't heard anything about Matt's missing family???

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Soup333 said:

LOLLLLLL. NO. I've never heard of such a term but after reading the definition Jamie is about the lassssssstttt person I'd ever think of as having such a thing. Had you said Keith, yeah. I could see that quiet self-confidence. Jamie? Naaaaahhhhh.

That really tickled me. It's too early in the morning to be laughing this hard.

I'm with others who think Jamie isn't all that attractive and I don't see any real redeeming qualities in him besides the fact that he isn't as outlandish as his wife. He "loves" Elizabeth because she's a freak in the sheets.

Well I guess YMMV.  Jamie appears to be confident in his skin and not like he has anything to prove or justify to anyone, which to me add up to BDE.  It's not about how good looking he is.  Plus he doesn't appear to be hiding anything either.  As far as that and redeeming qualities go I think there might be more redeeming to him than meets the eye.  I bolded that because I'm not sure about him just yet.  I agree that he's infatuated with Elizabeth but as far as loving her goes, that I don't believe.  And it worries me that he would come out with the L word so soon.  He does seem to be making an effort to do right by her so that's promising.

I agree with you about Keith, though!

[configdotsys]

3 hours ago, ramble said:

Amber makes me sad. Her abandonment issues are so apparent. She even mentioned her fear of being left when Matt stumbled through his basketball escape clause. She needs therapy more than she needs that doofus. 

I was raising my eyebrows to the point that I thought they'd jump off my face and onto the ceiling when she was telling a guy she met a  few days ago that she would feel abandoned if he left or whatever it was that she said. Give me a break. Comparing a relationship that's a couple of days old with her relationship with her mother? After a few days she's so dependent on this guy that she'd be a basket case if he left? Bleh. I am not wild about Matt but would not blame him if he walked away from this. It's too heavy right now. She is like AJ but without the hyper. All in on day one to the point of smothering. AJ got a desperate fool that would pay any price to have a husband but Matt seems to not be in that camp. 

41 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Well I guess YMMV.  Jamie appears to be confident in his skin and not like he has anything to prove or justify to anyone, which to me add up to BDE.  It's not about how good looking he is.  Plus he doesn't appear to be hiding anything either.  As far as that and redeeming qualities go I think there might be more redeeming to him than meets the eye.  I bolded that because I'm not sure about him just yet.  I agree that he's infatuated with Elizabeth but as far as loving her goes, that I don't believe.  And it worries me that he would come out with the L word so soon.  He does seem to be making an effort to do right by her so that's promising.

I agree with you about Keith, though!

He has a confidence about him that borders on arrogance to me. That may serve him well in business but I don't see it working out so well when he brings that detached attitude into a relationship and tries to apply business principles to romance and settling disputes. I don't know if this will make sense but he reminds me of a person that I'd be embarrassed to watch dance. There's no warmth or compassion there. It's like it's all business.

I know they got over it but the "I'm not a mind reader," attitude that he had just showed a serious lack of empathy or something. It wasn't like, "Oh, I'm sorry everything got messed up," it was "Why should I care?" and comments like that. The tone he used would make me crazy. Not a fan of Elizabeth but my face would have looked just like hers if someone took that attitude with me.

I think he's happy to have someone giving him what he wants on the regular but I just don't see their personalities clicking at all. Whether or not she was truly seasick, telling her she was "so dramatic" was such a dirtbag thing to say. It was like he was embarrassed that she was sick. It was such a huge difference the way Matt treated Amber and Jamie treated Elizabeth during those scenes. I think Jamie would also be embarrassed by Elizabeth's "quirky personality"  around his friends or business associates. He seems like the type that was too lazy to go out and put in the effort to land a relationship so he had a wife delivered. 

Edited July 12, 2019 by configdotsys

[Soup333]

52 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Well I guess YMMV.  Jamie appears to be confident in his skin and not like he has anything to prove or justify to anyone, which to me add up to BDE.  It's not about how good looking he is.  Plus he doesn't appear to be hiding anything either.  As far as that and redeeming qualities go I think there might be more redeeming to him than meets the eye.  I bolded that because I'm not sure about him just yet.  I agree that he's infatuated with Elizabeth but as far as loving her goes, that I don't believe.  And it worries me that he would come out with the L word so soon.  He does seem to be making an effort to do right by her so that's promising.

I agree with you about Keith, though!

There are definitely husbands that I would rank beneath him. LUKE, Nick, Will. I don't get a strong sense of self-confidence with any of those guys. But I agree with @configdotsys that Jamie comes across as arrogant. That wouldn't exude BDE energy to me, but Biggest Asshole Energy. Now I'm talking Ryan "I'll kill you" DeNino, Derek and that other asshole from S2 that was a nurse. He may not be on their level yet but I could see him being of a similar type in the end.

[LennieBriscoe]

OMGee, Yeah No! Now we have TWO new merchandise offerings!

For the confident man: Our latest T-shirt in MAFS Noir, with a centered embroidery in  Cautionary Amber and Magneto font---BDE.

And for the sassy lassie: Our new hybrid handbag, incorporating an infamous saying from Big Angela's Michael of "90 Day Fiance"! The Navy Blue purse will have embroidered on the front in Virginal White---"He Had BDE, So...." And on the reverse, in Hot Pink---"I Did the BJ!"

Ordering and shipping details forthcoming.

[Empress1]

12 hours ago, topanga said:

Matt’s voice has an urban affectation that probably comes from years of being around black basketball players. But he also has the slow cadence of a Southern man.

I think Matt's voice, both tone and cadence, is really sexy. I love a low voice (maybe because I have one; second alto here) and tend to dislike high, tinny voices on men. An ex of mine had a beautiful rich baritone voice and I used to tell him all the time that I loved listening to him talk.

[Gem 10]

18 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

True but he didn't have to start having sex with her. She's not been his type from the start; he even said on Unfiltered he was disappointed, but he jumped into sex with her anyway. He could've pumped the breaks instead of Amber, in an effort to see if there was anything there for him. I'd never slam the guy for not being attracted, & if he keeps his distance because of that it's more respectful IMO. But I do think the sex will end soon & he'll start keeping his distance, which is going to sting for Amber.

I have always believed in love at first sight.  There has to be an attraction from the start.  The few couples on this show that make it are just lucky.  Learning to love someone is hard.  I’ve tried it long ago and it didn’t work for me, but the minute I met my husband, fireworks from day one.  Not for everyone, but just my opinion.  I think Matt feels stuck and losing interest.  I feel bad for Amber.

[Ohwell]

5 hours ago, ramble said:

when Matt stumbled through his basketball escape clause.

This cracked me up.

[Kareem]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

I was raising my eyebrows to the point that I thought they'd jump off my face and onto the ceiling when she was telling a guy she met a  few days ago that she would feel abandoned if he left or whatever it was that she said. Give me a break. Comparing a relationship that's a couple of days old with her relationship with her mother? After a few days she's so dependent on this guy that she'd be a basket case if he left? Bleh. I am not wild about Matt but would not blame him if he walked away from this. It's too heavy right now. She is like AJ but without the hyper. All in on day one to the point of smothering. AJ got a desperate fool that would pay any price to have a husband but Matt seems to not be in that camp. 

He has a confidence about him that borders on arrogance to me. That may serve him well in business but I don't see it working out so well when he brings that detached attitude into a relationship and tries to apply business principles to romance and settling disputes. I don't know if this will make sense but he reminds me of a person that I'd be embarrassed to watch dance. There's no warmth or compassion there. It's like it's all business.

I know they got over it but the "I'm not a mind reader," attitude that he had just showed a serious lack of empathy or something. It wasn't like, "Oh, I'm sorry everything got messed up," it was "Why should I care?" and comments like that. The tone he used would make me crazy. Not a fan of Elizabeth but my face would have looked just like hers if someone took that attitude with me.

I think he's happy to have someone giving him what he wants on the regular but I just don't see their personalities clicking at all. Whether or not she was truly seasick, telling her she was "so dramatic" was such a dirtbag thing to say. It was like he was embarrassed that she was sick. It was such a huge difference the way Matt treated Amber and Jamie treated Elizabeth during those scenes. I think Jamie would also be embarrassed by Elizabeth's "quirky personality"  around his friends or business associates. He seems like the type that was too lazy to go out and put in the effort to land a relationship so he had a wife delivered. 

I agree with this re Jamie from what we've seen so far.  He seems to have missed the warm and fuzzy bus and sometimes responds to her accordingly. 

I think we've seen couples who believe they're in this for the long haul, and who try to make it work and those who repeat the 'stranger' word 75,000 times with one bag packed.  Amber appears to be in the first group so I can almost understand her abandonment speech.  Almost. 

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

He has a confidence about him that borders on arrogance to me. That may serve him well in business but I don't see it working out so well when he brings that detached attitude into a relationship and tries to apply business principles to romance and settling disputes. I don't know if this will make sense but he reminds me of a person that I'd be embarrassed to watch dance. There's no warmth or compassion there. It's like it's all business.

I don't see Jamie as arrogant but again YMMV.  I'm originally from NYC and I realize that a lot of  New Yorkers would seem arrogant on the surface to a lot of people just by virtue of that, so I guess I'm seeing him with slightly different eyes than most.  I know he's not a New Yorker but he reminds me of one.  I will agree with you that he's approaching this marriage like another business partnership and that concerns me.  That demeanor coupled with using the "L" word so soon somehow doesn't add up or feel right.  So that's why I'm not firm in my judgment of him as a person just yet.  Something seems a bit off.

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

I think Matt's voice, both tone and cadence, is really sexy. I love a low voice (maybe because I have one; second alto here) and tend to dislike high, tinny voices on men. An ex of mine had a beautiful rich baritone voice and I used to tell him all the time that I loved listening to him talk.

There is absolutely nothing I find sexy about Matt.  I think he's a jerk.  He's already said and done some things to confirm that for me too so it's not just a visceral thing.

I just realized who Matt reminds me of in some ways.  Penny's boyfriend Zack on "Big Bang Theory".  Not too bright.

Edited July 12, 2019 by Yeah No

[configdotsys]

2 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I don't see Jamie as arrogant but again YMMV.  I'm originally from NYC and I realize that a lot of us would seem arrogant on the surface to a lot of people just by virtue of that, so I guess I'm seeing him with slightly different eyes than most.  I will agree with you that he's approaching this marriage like another business partnership and that concerns me.  That demeanor coupled with using the "L" word so soon somehow doesn't add up or feel right.  So that's why I'm not firm in my judgment of him as a person just yet.  Something seems a bit off.

Born, raised and still here in NYC so I totally get the perceived arrogance thing. There is just something so empty and wooden about him, like a stick in the mud, no genuine smile or joy. Everything feels transactional. It's like he never learned how to have fun or something. I agree with you that something is a definitely a bit off there. 

[Ohwell]

I didn't see the beginning where the "experts" gave their reasons for pairing the couples, but I wonder why the paired Matt and Amber?  Did they think it was somehow amusing to pair a man so tall with a woman so short?  Not that height is the main reason for a pairing, but it did seem strange to me.

[Kroliosis]

http://www.ncpublicschools.org/docs/fbs/finance/salary/schedules/2018-19schedules.pdf

Maybe Amber has multiple jobs, maybe I am misinterpreting this, but I do not see how she can be making more than $51k

[Yeah No]

33 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

Born, raised and still here in NYC so I totally get the perceived arrogance thing. There is just something so empty and wooden about him, like a stick in the mud, no genuine smile or joy. Everything feels transactional. It's like he never learned how to have fun or something. I agree with you that something is a definitely a bit off there. 

I'm leaning towards that Jamie knows how to play the game in business and the transactional demeanor is coming from putting on that game face 24/7 for the cameras.  He's probably used to turning it on and off when he needs it in real life, but being on this show is forcing him to do it all the time.  And it's coming off as a stiff facade.  Which makes you not want to trust him.  I don't think he's really hiding anything (at least not intentionally) but yeah, something's off so I'm still suspicious.

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, configdotsys said:

 I don't know if this will make sense but he reminds me of a person that I'd be embarrassed to watch dance.

I feel certain that Jamie can't dance.

Jamie strikes me as the kind of person who is practical and solutions-oriented and Elizabeth is more emotional. Like, I could see Elizabeth coming home and being like "UGH, let me tell you about my fucked-up day" and Jamie saying, "Well, did you try xyz to fix it?" and Elizabeth getting frustrated because she doesn't want solutions, she wants to vent. One of my best friends is like this. You have to say to her, "I just want to rant about my horrible boss for a minute," otherwise she'll be sending you links to resume writers. She is a great listener but you have to tell her expressly that you just want her to listen.

Jamie strikes me as the "why didn't you ..." kind of guy and Elizabeth doesn't seem like that's her wheelhouse, so they might clash.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

I have always believed in love at first sight.  There has to be an attraction from the start.  The few couples on this show that make it are just lucky.  Learning to love someone is hard.  I’ve tried it long ago and it didn’t work for me, but the minute I met my husband, fireworks from day one.  Not for everyone, but just my opinion.  I think Matt feels stuck and losing interest.  I feel bad for Amber.

I agree with you.  I remember being in relationships where I had to try to find a guy attractive and they never worked out.  For me it's fireworks right away or forget about it.  I know I've criticized the people on this show for not giving the other person a chance that way but I've changed my mind about that given my own experience.

Which makes me wonder about Jamie Otis and Doug.  She obviously wasn't attracted to him immediately and yet she is supposedly crazy about him now.  I've never really bought that to be honest.  Speaking of her, did anybody notice that she was actually wearing a different outfit in this week's "Unfiltered"?  I almost fell off my couch.  I actually didn't hate it for a change, LOL.

[Yeah No]

2 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I feel certain that Jamie can't dance.

Jamie strikes me as the kind of person who is practical and solutions-oriented and Elizabeth is more emotional. Like, I could see Elizabeth coming home and being like "UGH, let me tell you about my fucked-up day" and Jamie saying, "Well, did you try xyz to fix it?" and Elizabeth getting frustrated because she doesn't want solutions, she wants to vent. One of my best friends is like this. You have to say to her, "I just want to rant about my horrible boss for a minute," otherwise she'll be sending you links to resume writers. She is a great listener but you have to tell her expressly that you just want her to listen.

Jamie strikes me as the "why didn't you ..." kind of guy and Elizabeth doesn't seem like that's her wheelhouse, so they might clash.

I think they matched them partly because Jamie is practical and Elizabeth is emotional.  I think they thought he would "ground" her, as long as he has the patience for her.  Sort of like Steph and AJ where she is the grounding one and he is the flighty, over-emotional one.  But yeah, after a while they'll probably devolve into some kind of death spiral like you describe above, once he loses patience with her, and who wouldn't after a while anyway?  I keep wondering when "St. Steph" is going to tire of AJ too.  But you never know, depending on these people's makeup they could actually like being in that kind of caretaking relationship.  I've actually seen it work before, but it is rarer to work than not to work.  I just don't see Jamie as being able to sustain that for the long haul.

[Yeah No]

10 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I feel certain that Jamie can't dance.

I think Jamie would have what Billy Crystal called "The white man's overbite", LOL.

https://y.yarn.co/fbda6c58-0f80-4d54-97a4-90219a87e51c.mp4?1562945084631

[Yeah No]

56 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I didn't see the beginning where the "experts" gave their reasons for pairing the couples, but I wonder why the paired Matt and Amber?  Did they think it was somehow amusing to pair a man so tall with a woman so short?  Not that height is the main reason for a pairing, but it did seem strange to me.

I think it was the basketball connection.  She loves basketball and has a "thing" for basketball players.  I don't know if they warned him about how short she was beforehand, though.  They mentioned it to her and of course she was fine with it, but I'm not sure he would have been if he knew.

[Gurkel]

36 minutes ago, Kareem said:

I agree with this re Jamie from what we've seen so far.  He seems to have missed the warm and fuzzy bus and sometimes responds to her accordingly. 

I think we've seen couples who believe they're in this for the long haul, and who try to make it work and those who repeat the 'stranger' word 75,000 times with one bag packed.  Amber appears to be in the first group so I can almost understand her abandonment speech.  Almost. 

2 hours ago, configdotsys said:

I was raising my eyebrows to the point that I thought they'd jump off my face and onto the ceiling when she was telling a guy she met a  few days ago that she would feel abandoned if he left or whatever it was that she said. Give me a break. Comparing a relationship that's a couple of days old with her relationship with her mother? After a few days she's so dependent on this guy that she'd be a basket case if he left? Bleh. I am not wild about Matt but would not blame him if he walked away from this. It's too heavy right now. She is like AJ but without the hyper. All in on day one to the point of smothering. AJ got a desperate fool that would pay any price to have a husband but Matt seems to not be in that camp. 

It seems like you're damned if you do, damned if you don't on this show. If you're eager to get to know the stranger you impulsively married and try to make things work, you get called thirsty and desperate (Amber) or disingenuous (Jamie and Liz). If you're understandably hesitant and distant with the stranger that you impulsively married, you're called a cold, frigid, distant, selfish asshole who's probably hiding something (Deonna and Matt. And sometimes Keith. Jepthe and Jasmine in prior seasons). 

BTW, I'm not excusing myself from my own critique--  I've used some of these same descriptions for the spouses.

I'd say Iris probably gets criticized the least, but she still gets called melodramatic, extra, hyper, or even phony. (Again, I'm including myself in this). At least she stopped calling herself The Virgin.

I don't think there's any right way to organically develop a healthy marital relationship when you're in a televised arranged marriage, but society (reality TV society) is telling you that you're still supposed to have all of the butterflies and chemistry that you would if you were in a love marriage with someone you met in college and dated for 3 years. 

[configdotsys]

59 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I didn't see the beginning where the "experts" gave their reasons for pairing the couples, but I wonder why the paired Matt and Amber?  Did they think it was somehow amusing to pair a man so tall with a woman so short?  Not that height is the main reason for a pairing, but it did seem strange to me.

I thought it had something to do with Amber being "sporty" and athletic. Maybe they thought if she could talk sports with him, it would be an immediate connection of some kind.