S08.E13: Doomed or Devoted

[Empress1]

23 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I think most, if not all, will stay married to get the money. There's no reason not to when they can divorce off camera in a month or two. Or is there some sort of clause that says they are given the money if they stay married for a least a year from D-Day? Not sure as this is my first season watching this show.

I don't think anything is known about how much, if anything, the contestants are paid to do the show (aside from what the show gives them, like housing and last season's $10K - that was expressly stated). The only thing I read was about the New Zealand version and the participant said he LOST money doing the show because the per diem (which was tiny) didn't cover what he lost not being able to work while filming. (We know the Americans work their regular jobs during filming so that doesn't apply here.) If their contracts are on the internet, I haven't seen them. 

[Lusterleaf]

15 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

I really want to have an eye makeup intervention with Stephanie. 

It's her eyebrows in combo with her eye shadow. I feel like I'm being transported to 1997.

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, Lusterleaf said:

It's her eyebrows in combo with her eye shadow. I feel like I'm being transported to 1997.

Her eyebrows kill me. I wonder if she over-plucked and they won't grow back?

[aphroditewitch]

4 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I don't want to present false information but I swear that I read on this forum that the couples receive money if they stay together on decision day. Maybe I am wrong but I swear I remember reading that and it making me look at D-day in a whole new light. If I'm mistaken, I apologize. 

It seems to be speculation about couples have stayed together even when it was clear that they did not really like each other. But nothing has been confirmed by either the show or past participants from what I have seen. The show also could have changed the contract to state they have to pretend they are going to stay together. I think Dr. Jessica was able to get Jon out of his contract because she wanted him for herself. 

[aphroditewitch]

3 minutes ago, Lusterleaf said:

It's her eyebrows in combo with her eye shadow. I feel like I'm being transported to 1997.

She probably over plucked her brows circa 1997 and either kept at it or they just never grew back. She needs softer and warmer eye shadows and some tips on blending since that also seems to be an issue. The brows she should try to fill in more but not go overboard because overly filled in brows can also look bad. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

It just seemed so classic that the other men are talking about the pending decision in front of them and Puke literally has given it no thought at all.

Luke has thought about it though he said otherwise; he's thought about it enough to tell Kate that he didn't want to get divorced.

[Marsh]

I'm convinced that Puke is either an alien or A.I. bcause he doesn't know how to converse with humans during dinner.

(Kate asks Luke a question).

..........

...............

......"I LIKE SHRIMP.". 

...................

.............."ERROR..."....

..............."SYSTEM OVERLOAD MUST REBOOT"

......

..

..

[discoprincessthe2]

47 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

It seems to be speculation about couples have stayed together even when it was clear that they did not really like each other. But nothing has been confirmed by either the show or past participants from what I have seen. The show also could have changed the contract to state they have to pretend they are going to stay together. I think Dr. Jessica was able to get Jon out of his contract because she wanted him for herself. 

Oh, really? I never heard this speculation before! I was impressed at first that Jon and Molly had the balls to say "divorce" even though the other experts apparently were like, "Are you sure? Really, really sure?" 

I would love to see one spouse say "I want to stay together" while the other says "divorce!"

Edited March 27, 2019 by discoprincessthe2

[OnTime]

I still believe they will all say they want to stay married because of the contract.  We know AJ does.

Did the producers really need so much drama that they put him in advanced class at the gym, when clearly he has never been in a gym?

[Jeanne222]

51 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Luke has thought about it though he said otherwise; he's thought about it enough to tell Kate that he didn't want to get divorced.

I think Luke and Kate share during pillow talk!  Luke's made it pretty clear he's not giving production much!

[gonecrackers]

There's nothing saying for sure they get extra for staying together. To me it got suspicious when a few seasons back couples started staying together at d-day, then divorced at the 1 yr mark. I started thinking of it as the one year divorceries. But then last season Mia/Tristan & Amber/Dave were done by reunion, which wasn't too long after filming stopped.

I do think they have some very tight NDA's for the US version of this show, since we never get any juicy behind the scenes info, ever. I especially find it nasty that they've started locking down the participants SM accounts.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

8 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

Thats the exact quote from puke when they were watching the ceremony

What I then yelled at the tv screen was : " God, I want to punch you so bad "

Kate looked like a deer in headlights when she saw the video, meanwhile puke was faking it for the cameras again by acting all smirky, happy and touching kate on the arm playfully.

Gag, hurl, vomit, yack, barf and puke !!!

Exactly!! That photo truly captured the Puke Smirk. The smirk tells you he's pretending to be kidding around --but actually he is totally getting off on mind-fucking someone!!

(I wonder if Kate actually noticed it when she watched the wedding video  --or was she still blinded by those rose-colored glasses she wears?)  

Edited March 27, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Retired at last]

I think most of us think there is a monetary addition if they agree to stay married on D Day, per their contract. I also think they get more if they stay married until the reunion. Last time, Mia and Tristan said they wanted to stay together on D Day, but, in real life, she had already filed for divorce.

I can see where Jasmine could think that Will would want to stay married. He is in his head on his own timeframe, on which there is no hurry. I am thinking he doesn't get physical in a relationship unless he genuinely feels strongly about his partner. He is not there yet with Jasmine, but he said that falling in love with her would be like a dream come true - he just isn't a fast mover and he may honestly be surprised if she says she wants out. But, I don't see any chemistry with them and they have so many different values that I don't see it working. Especially since all we see is her belittling him or his ideas.

[aphroditewitch]

There hasn't been much revealed from any of the former cast in a long time. There was a lot that came out of season two. Sean was cast because he had known Doug for years. Then there was Jessica's lawsuit because Ryan had threatened to kill her. I'm not sure what happened with her lawsuit. I'm guessing it was either tossed or quietly settled. And it was revealed later that none of the couples from that season had truly lived together during the show and basically had showed up to film. But it also didn't help that they had cast people who lived so far from each other. 

I kind of feel like Kate and Luke did not live together for part of the current season because during the terrible car ride, Kate said something about "but when we lived together" or "when we were living together". I would have to rewatch it which I'm not really interested in doing. 

[Soup333]

11 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

I kind of feel like Kate and Luke did not live together for part of the current season because during the terrible car ride, Kate said something about "but when we lived together" or "when we were living together". I would have to rewatch it which I'm not really interested in doing. 

I caught that too. Made me wonder if their five or six sexual experiences happened near the beginning of the marriage. 

[hoosiermom]

I have liked reading all the posts here but have been unwilling to watch the last 2 episodes because of Luke. He has just ruined this season for me. When a show makes me feel uncomfortable, it’s just not worth it. Probably won’t watch decision  day either but will be here to read results!

[aphroditewitch]

25 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

I caught that too. Made me wonder if their five or six sexual experiences happened near the beginning of the marriage. 

Especially since they were wearing the exact same clothes from the dinner they ate in the one month anniversary episode. I get that someone might repeat an outfit on the show, but this just seemed like the show didn't have anything else they would work with because Kate or Luke, perhaps both were resistant to having to film together. I feel a lot of uncomfortable conversations and accusations happened much earlier then what the show implied.  

[Soup333]

2 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

Especially since they were wearing the exact same clothes from the dinner they ate in the one month anniversary episode. I get that someone might repeat an outfit on the show, but this just seemed like the show didn't have anything else they would work with because Kate or Luke, perhaps both were resistant to having to film together. I feel a lot of uncomfortable conversations and accusations happened much earlier then what the show implied.  

Also, at this dinner Kate was kinda pissed. She eventually backs down but at the beginning she was giving him pushback when he was trying to gaslight her, telling her she was misremembering things. It kinda feels like it all happened on the anniversary night and she was still upset about him bailing to hang out with his friends. 

[discoprincessthe2]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

There's nothing saying for sure they get extra for staying together. To me it got suspicious when a few seasons back couples started staying together at d-day, then divorced at the 1 yr mark. I started thinking of it as the one year divorceries. But then last season Mia/Tristan & Amber/Dave were done by reunion, which wasn't too long after filming stopped.

I do think they have some very tight NDA's for the US version of this show, since we never get any juicy behind the scenes info, ever. I especially find it nasty that they've started locking down the participants SM accounts.

While the Chicago season was airing, I believe one of Jon's friends had posted something about Molly being fake. In what I believe was a separate incident, someone had posted a blind item about a couple who behind the scenes had essentially called it quits early on, even though it wasn't entirely obvious while watching the show. This blind item claimed that the bride didn't even want to film with her husband. Several speculated that this info was about Molly and Jon, but I don't believe it was ever confirmed. That said, some people on message boards pointed out inconsistencies with the editing that seemed to support that hypothesis. 

Back to this season - some people (like MAFS Fan) have pointed out wonky editing as well. Maybe there are additional shenanigans going on behind the scenes. It's amazing that nothing has leaked yet.

Edited March 27, 2019 by discoprincessthe2

[methadonna]

Unless deciding to divorce at D-Day (vs a week or four months later) has financial and/or practical benefits for the participants (like the production provides the lawyers or other help navigating the process, and covers it financially, or that it's most likely a simpler process as, at this point, they don't really have shared assets and it is a simpler process than once the couple moves out of their provided housing and truly has to integrate what they brought to the marriage, which--not a lawyer--but I think inherently complicates things in most states: interesting that, for all the talk of "no anulment," there's never been a mention of a prenuptial, or--if that's not possible legally since they can't meet and agree to it--a postnuptial agreement), I don't GET the point of D-Day.

Unless you're in a situation like Kate and Luke's (where it's not even a question that there is NO reason to spend another day together, which, sadly, I'm not sure Kate is in a place to see yet), why the hell WOULDN'T you decide to stay together if you at least tolerate each other, even still seeing it as a trial run, but to give it a few weeks to see if things differ once the artificiality and apparently extreme stress of "the documentation process" is gone?

They might be accurate in the (say it with me) "Annulment isn't an option; they will have to get a divorce" mantra, but it's not like they're choosing between "decide to divorce today" and "decide you will stay married forever; you can never ever separate if you don't do it now." I realize there needs to be a climax and resolution to the series, but it's just so patently absurd to pretend it actually matters if they claim divorce that day or the next. Unless, again, contrary to the speculation that there's financial incentive to say yes, not choosing divorce That Sole Day makes a likely divorce in even the near future seem more risky and difficult to navigate.

That said, if Kate doesn't flee on D-Day, the moment her contractual obligations end, I am truly worried for her. I know a lot of people have lost patience with her, and I get it--it's hard to watch someone in an unhealthy situation they can change by leaving but don't--but everything we know about abused partners makes it completely understandable to me, and I fear it's going to take her a long time and several aborted attempts to leave.

Seeing just the physical difference in her affect and appearance in general from the wedding day to less than two months later is striking and heartbreaking. She herself has said he's "broken" her, and while I think you can often see that impact, physically, when someone has spent a long time in an unhealthy relationship, seeing that manifest to such an extreme in a mere seven weeks is horrifying, and adding in the consideration that Like has made it quite clear that he wants them to maintain a happy facade while filming, and she appears to care enough about her appearance (not negatively) that I have to believe she IS presenting herself more positively than she might feel up to were she not on camera (like, take-to-her-bed, don't shower or do her hair and make-up level of depression), I think that the shift in her disposition at what is probably the BEST she can make herself appear, is heartbreaking and alarming. 

I really hope (but completely lack faith) that at least one of those "experts" will actually follow their ethical requirements as professionals (and simply human beings, supposedly) and try to get her whatever help she needs to see that the failure would be saving her marriage in exchange for losing herself, rather than pushing for a bullshit happy ending for what they think makes better TV and likely entrenches her further in this rabbit hole.

[aphroditewitch]

7 minutes ago, methadonna said:

Unless deciding to divorce at D-Day (vs a week or four months later) has financial and/or practical benefits for the participants (like the production provides the lawyers or other help navigating the process, and covers it financially, or that it's most likely a simpler process as, at this point, they don't really have shared assets and it is a simpler process than once the couple moves out of their provided housing and truly has to integrate what they brought to the marriage, which--not a lawyer--but I think inherently complicates things in most states: interesting that, for all the talk of "no anulment," there's never been a mention of a prenuptial, or--if that's not possible legally since they can't meet and agree to it--a postnuptial agreement), I don't GET the point of D-Day.

The couples do sign a prenuptial agreement prior to the weddings. The executive producer of the show is on record saying that all participants sign one before they get married. The link is from 2015 and some things have changed since the cast does now meet during their season, but I doubt they have changed the prenup part because there is no reason to do so. The no annulment has nothing to do with the show and it in state marriage laws and divorce laws. I'm not an attorney but I know people who are and the legal criteria in most states for an annulment is very narrow. 

https://www.thewrap.com/9-married-at-first-sight-burning-questions/

Edited March 27, 2019 by aphroditewitch

[stuckin60s]

i think the thing with Will and Jasmine is that she shot herself in the foot the first time she mentioned money.  Her entire plan is to have someone pay for everything.  Do you remember the episode when he came home.  She was laying on the couch and she acknowledged him.  The place was messy and she was just laying there.  I think he is keeping his distance until the show is over.  She is lazy and over confident about herself.  She was upset when he gave her a low score ( her opinion). what has she done for him except make a minimal meal in a nightgown. 

[Racj82]

While I do think mostly everything AJ does is blown out of proportion by editors and others, my actual problem with AJ is he's someone that constantly acknowledges his flaws but makes no effort to work on them. We've seen that with Keith. We've seen actual change. AJ just keeps leaning into certain behavior. 

He's really rigid and resistant to change or things not going his way which is a terrible applicant for this show. And as a marriage partner. 

I don't think he's crazy, violent or anything like that. Just really stubborn. 

I know they are more casting for the show than anything real but I wish they would test these people a little more in depth before choosing applicants. All the dudes were bad applicants for a TV show either because they are boring or make bad partners. 

Stephanie is perfect for the show because she just wants to make this work. Jasmine and Kristine are good with the right partners and Kate needs therapy not marriage.

Edited March 28, 2019 by Racj82

[Ilovepie]

4 hours ago, 2727 said:

It's one thing for Stephanie to feel embarrassed or on edge when AJ throws a tantrum, but I think the way he talks over her and doesn't listen is much worse.

I completely agree. He does not hear anything when someone is talking about his behavior. Him getting pissed is not the worst thing about him, with the exception of the "mini-moon". I didn't even mind him getting annoyed at the gym - why would they have someone who doesn't ever work out doing that hard core work out? Was there any modifications for him being a beginner? As a 46 yo woman who is sometimes fit and sometimes not, I relate to him saying I want to be able to walk tomorrow........

The biggest red flags for me with him are the conversation with Dr. Jess and last night. He refused to acknowledge any bad behavior then and completely talked for Stephanie, and last night, very similar. He tunes out when someone criticizes him or he gets annoyed. He does not own his shit, so to speak, and that is never going to end well for the other party.

It's really too bad he is that way, because his wife is a gem. I don't see him doing better than her, and if he keeps at it like this, he will be losing her and back to eating alone and he will only have himself to blame. Sadly, he would probably never admit it........

[Soup333]

1 hour ago, stuckin60s said:

i think the thing with Will and Jasmine is that she shot herself in the foot the first time she mentioned money.  Her entire plan is to have someone pay for everything.  Do you remember the episode when he came home.  She was laying on the couch and she acknowledged him.  The place was messy and she was just laying there.  I think he is keeping his distance until the show is over.  She is lazy and over confident about herself.  She was upset when he gave her a low score ( her opinion). what has she done for him except make a minimal meal in a nightgown. 

Interesting because in her conversation with her friends she touted herself as a clean freak. Hmm. 

38 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

He's really rigid and resistant to change or things not going his way which is a terrible applicant for this show. And as a marriage partner. 

I don't think he's crazy, violent or anything like that. Just really stubborn. 

I honestly wonder what AJ’s reaction would be if Stephanie opted for divorce. He came  off as very pushy last night with all his y’all of hoping they were on the same page. Felt like he wanted her to assure him she was going to want to continue the marriage.

6 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

[methadonna]

Thanks, @aphroditewitch, for the info on the pre-nup: I didn't know if that was something that required the presence of both members together for signing for it to be legal, so I was just trying to think of mitigating factors as to why choosing to file for divorce even a week after DECISION DAY rather than while still part of production would make sense (if it's not 100% obvious that that's the best choice). Not that I wouldn't prefer the transparency if that's the intent--I don't want people who know it's a sure thing to pretend they're staying together because...reasons):

I just don't get why a couple like Kristine and (uhhhh whatever her guy's name is)*, who maybe aren't certain but have at least the potential to create a real marriage, would even question staying together THEN and seeing how things go when the cameras--which seem to be universally seen as adding another layer of stress and exhaustion to an already surreal situation--go away.

I guess I was unclear in my mentioning annulment: I wasn't questioning why it wasn't an option, just noting that the "annulment won't be an option; they will have to divorce" would be the tipping point for alcohol poisoning if part of the MAFS drinking game, yet the reasons (besides Good TV) for its mattering whether they chose to get divorced at D-Day vs a month later were never (to my recollection) mentioned, leading to my uninformed spitballing that perhaps choosing it while still part of the show might simplify the process. I wasn't questioning whether or why annulment wasn't an option: rather, I was mocking how overtly clear they've made that, while overwhelmingly being oblique about the production-pushed "final" choice.

Sorry that I didn't make that clear, and sorry if this isn't any better 

*I actually think the Kristine uncertainty is all editing or production-driven: I don't know that they'll last long-term, but I'll be shocked if there's any uncertainty besides produced suspense in their choosing to stay married on D-Day. 

AJ and Stephanie are probably a better example, where I am doubtful that they will still be married a year from now but (unless AJ is even more off-putting off-screen), I can't see why Steph wouldn't want to try even a few weeks after the cameras are gone to see if he acts better or worse, as I, at least, can't figure out how much of his OTT behavior in either direction is really who he is (in which case, RUN!), or if Super Hyper Happy Annoying AJ is more a manifestation of overcompensating for his anxiety about both the unknowns/weirdness of the situation (especially at the beginning)--I think nearly all of us have seen someone we know suddenly acting overly effusive to the point of second-hand embarrassment (or even finding ourselves doing it and simultaneously being aware of it yet feeling unable to act "normal") to compensate for their discomfiture with the situation, as opposed to shutting down (less awkward and painful to watch but sometimes--like in a very social situation, where you need to try to connect with people: bad enough in a party with strangers, let alone strangers who are now your wife and everyone who is her "side"--seemingly more detrimental than trying to be too friendly <-- maybe not and I'm just projecting my extremely introverted self here? I think AJ is an extreme example of this, but his annoying faux life o' the party persona seems greatly amplified in each situation that requires adjusting to a new and usually large group of people (except when he goes the opposite way...), and he usually seems to calm down over the course of it, and, similarly, if his extreme swing freakouts are the flip side of this, which COULD lessen when the stress of filming and goes away...

I mean, I don't know if I could have stood seven weeks with the dude, but 1) I'd actually be put off more by Shiny Happy People AJ, which Stephanie either isn't or has done a great job pretending she isn't, and, 2) if Stephanie really does like him even in those times as much as she presents, plus she's certainly seen there IS a more normal, modulated version of him that she enjoys, I don't think she's wrong for being concerned about his other extreme of reaction to stress--I think it shows that she's one of the most sensible and healthy people ever on this show, and maybe she'll be able to get through to Kate--she seems to like enough about him that I'd think it would be worth seeing if his behavior stabilizes more once they're out of that fishbowl. She seems to have a good enough head on her shoulders that I don't think she'd have an issue walking away if it doesn't, and his more negative reactions don't seem harmful to her to where, even though he ain't my cup of tea, I don't think another few weeks of him, even if he continues as he has, would be detrimental to her (unlike every extra minute Luke spends with her seems to diminish Kate even more). Sorry, I know that was crazy long-winded, but that's really what I had in mind with "Why wouldn't a couple (who doesn't hate each other or are toxic and unhealthy) at least see if post-camera life changes things for the better or clarifies that, yeah, buh-bye?"

I know this is all for the show, and that's the Occam's Razor answer, but if The Experts/production would get over the idea that the audience wants to see the happily ever after ending, despite the fact that everyone knows 90% of the "yes"es become "no"s within a year, the best solution I can think of that still gives them their desired "Do you want to stay married?" [new expert] "Orrrrr, do you Want To Get A Divorce?" "resolution" episode would be for them to have a few weeks after filming ends to stay together (if they want; for the hopeless, they could escape immediately and it wouldn't matter to the viewers) and THEN come back and have their damn D-Day filming: it obviously wouldn't be any more a forever decision than it is now, but it would give a more realistic conclusion than having people who DO want to at least give it a go post-documentation and then determine it's a no go say yes at D-Day only to announce at the reunion or tabloids they're out.

#Savekate

[DrewPaul2010]

1 hour ago, hoosiermom said:

I have liked reading all the posts here but have been unwilling to watch the last 2 episodes because of Luke. He has just ruined this season for me. When a show makes me feel uncomfortable, it’s just not worth it. Probably won’t watch decision  day either but will be here to read results!

That's funny you're watching by proxy! Its okay I thought the last episode was the finale.

I hear a lot of comments about some monetary incentive if they stay married I hope its not a huge incentive that would dim my view of this show even more. I agree with others that the 8 week deadline is just a contrivance for the sake of drama. I would think a couple would only split if its obvious it won't work.

I like Stephanie a lot (never noticed her eyebrows) I do worry about her future with AJ. Her concern is that with the cameras and crew gone he may lose all restraint. He appears to be oblivious to his behavior which is apparently internalized. I don't think she will drop him...if she ever does she needs to do a complete disappearing act. AJ doesn't seem the kind to take no for an answer.

I don't have much hope for Will and Jasmine, I don't think either one has expressed love toward each other. They look like a couple that's already been married for 30 years.

Luke and Kate...Kate and Luke.

Its hard to keep my eyes off of Kate's beautiful face. She looks like a model but with a very healthy youthful glow. Her smile is magic. She seems to sincerely want a husband even if its Luke.

I've met a lot of people in my life and they seem to fall into categories of personality traits. I don't think I've met someone I can say is like Luke. His affectation always seems to be off. I can't tell if he is looking in Kate's eyes when he speaks of if he is someone else for the cameras. I can't imagine they have a future because to the best of my recollection they've never spoke about the future.

K&K will be fine...I'll be shocked if either one bails out.

I'd still like to see Shacked up at First Sight same procedure but couples get married after the eight weeks!

[configdotsys]

46 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

While I do think mostly everything AJ does is blown out of proportion by editors and others, my actual problem with AJ is he's someone that constantly acknowledges his flaws but makes no effort to work on them. We've seen that with Keith. We've seen actual change. AJ just keeps leaning into certain behavior. 

His idea of working on them was to tell Stephanie that when he gets like that she should.... and went on to essentially say deal with it by giving him time to get over it or whatever. That's easy to say and sounds like something one would suggest but when someone pierces you with their words or dismisses you like you have zero value to the conversation, it's hard to just say "okay" and let them calm down. 

I am convinced that this whole show is rigged and fake and that's disappointing but AJ's behavior really shocks me. That he behaves that way on camera is pretty astonishing and I call bullshit on the cameras make him do it. If that was the case, he'd be nasty to the camera people. He is nasty to his wife and to the situation he's in when he doesn't get his way. Usually people put on their best behavior for the camera and are on at their best during the honeymoon phase. But AJ acting this way now.

He has such an exaggerated laugh that looks maniacal to me and not in a good way. He does constantly interrupt Stephanie and that would drive me mad too. It's a shame to see someone like Stephanie, a smart woman in good shape with a great career settling for someone like AJ simply because she's desperate to be married.

[methadonna]

1 minute ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I'd still like to see Shacked up at First Sight same procedure but couples get married after the eight weeks!

From your title, I totally thought you wanted a show where two strangers are required to start having sex at first meeting and regularly for eight weeks, and then decide if they should continue doing each other or get back on Tinder. Then I finished reading and realized you wanted a monogamous version of The Bachelor, and I felt like a dirty old lady 🙂

[Empress1]

3 hours ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

I would love to see one spouse say "I want to stay together" while the other says "divorce!"

That's happened before. Neil and Sam on the Atlanta season - Sam treated Neil like shit from minute one, then decided she wanted to stay married. He opted for divorce. She ran out crying. (I tried to find it on YouTube but only found a discussion of it.) Ashley and David from that season too, although that wasn't a surprise - she clearly couldn't stand him and he was desperate to be married. He said stay, she said go.

4 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I hear a lot of comments about some monetary incentive if they stay married I hope its not a huge incentive that would dim my view of this show even more.

I doubt it because I've heard they have a really hard time finding men to do the show (which doesn't surprise me at all) and I think a big financial incentive would alleviate some of that. I think they recruit men on dating apps.

[lids]

Here’s another article on how couples are compensated:

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/how-much-are-the-couples-on-married-at-first-sight-paid-for-being-on-the-show.html/

In terms of divorce costs, Producer Chris Coelen says:

Quote

There is not any money specifically built in for divorce costs, no,” Coelen told The Wrap. “We will contribute within a certain period of time if they get divorced. We will help them cover the costs of an attorney if they choose to do that. I don’t know what the amount is. It’s nominal.

This matches what I’ve heard that if they divorce on or around d-day, production helps cover the cost. So that’s part of why couples want to establish that the marriage is over. They are on a deadline and don’t want to be stuck with additional expenses.

Edited March 27, 2019 by lids

[Scout Finch]

I'm a very even-keeled person who rarely ever loses my temper but I have to say that I was on AJ's side at the gym. I don't do well with people like that trainer haranguing me and spouting empty affirmations as if one size fits all, and I know I'd start getting contrary and mouthy in response!

[aphroditewitch]

28 minutes ago, methadonna said:

Thanks, @aphroditewitch, for the info on the pre-nup: I didn't know if that was something that required the presence of both members together for signing for it to be legal, so I was just trying to think of mitigating factors as to why choosing to file for divorce even a week after DECISION DAY rather than while still part of production would make sense (if it's not 100% obvious that that's the best choice). Not that I wouldn't prefer the transparency if that's the intent--I don't want people who know it's a sure thing to pretend they're staying together because...reasons):

My understanding based on statements made by the show's producers in various articles, is that the couples fill out and sign the marriage licence after the ceremony. So presumably that is when the prenup is signed. So while we see the wedding ceremony on screen, all the legal stuff happens off screen following the ceremony.

[DrewPaul2010]

Quote

So while we see the wedding ceremony on screen, all the legal stuff happens off screen following the ceremony.

Probably all the really good stuff occurs off screen...

[gonecrackers]

Interesting that someone as seemingly together as Stephanie felt she needed to do this show to find a husband. She said all her relationships ended up devastating her; I believe she said there was cheating. Maybe she just got to a certain age & wanted to nail down the marriage part, but nothing guarantees A.J. won't devastate her as well (hopefully not, but especially not if they end up with a kid). This show just guarantees marriage, not fidelity & long term happiness, & I wonder if she even watched it beforehand to know their track record.

I don't feel we got to know much about Stephanie; A.J. being, a lot of A.J., his behavior took over their whole story line.

3 minutes ago, Scout Finch said:

I'm a very even-keeled person who rarely ever loses my temper but I have to say that I was on AJ's side at the gym. I don't do well with people like that trainer haranguing me and spouting empty affirmations as if one size fits all, and I know I'd start getting contrary and mouthy in response!

Yes... it was unreasonable to have someone who doesn't work out do advanced moves; he could've easily injured himself.  But then I know it was likely arranged by the show just to get him going again.

I've wondered if A.J. has ADHD, as that would cause trouble in regulating emotions. When they show him really watching someone who's speaking, it seems to me he's trying very hard to sit still & concentrate. It could also explain him blurting out comments & being easily distracted by fish. Maybe Stephanie knows this & is trying to be patient & see if she can live with these issues after filming.

[configdotsys]

4 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Yes... it was unreasonable to have someone who doesn't work out do advanced moves; he could've easily injured himself.  But then I know it was likely arranged by the show just to get him going again.

I think it was unreasonable for out of shape AJ to attend a very advanced workout class. Those classes are no joke and part of the motivation is the barking that goes on so I can't fault the instructor for that. If he was in a  beginner's class for out of shape people, I could see being irritated at the yelling and injury possibility but that class was well past beginners. The instructor no doubt presumed that anyone attending his advanced class was in shape and could keep up. If he discovered that AJ was not in shape during the class, it's not his responsibility to switch over to a baby workout, it was AJ's responsibility to say, "You know what? This is a bit much for me. I'll be at the juice bar." Instead, he threw a tantrum and Stephanie ran after him.

I can totally see the producers setting this up hoping for fireworks. They certainly got them.

[seacliffsal]

In the very first scene of Jasmine and Will she tells him how nervous he looked at their wedding and he responded that no, he wasn't nervous at which point Jasmine tells him that he was nervous/scared.  She just has to be right and has to tell Will how he's acting/what he's thinking.  I really don't like that in real life-please don't tell me what I'm thinking/feeling when you have no idea.  Anyway, back to the episode-Will just seemed to shut down a bit at that point.  I think that exemplifies their entire relationship-Jasmine wants to be in control and Will resents that she's trying to control him.  They'll never work out.  

Luke was ENAMORED watching himself in their wedding video.  He looked the happiest I've seen him during this show when he was watching himself.  I bet he was thinking about his new found career as a reality star and being all over the t.v.  I am just done with Kate.  Her friends asked her for one thing that she actually liked about Luke and she responded by saying that she liked things about him.  Not what she was asked and a weak attempt to not provide specific examples in response to their questions.

[KateHearts]

I am funny about certain workout venues (like forced partner things) and I sure as heck wouldn't go to a class where the instructor yells, "WHO FIT?" and we had to respond "WE FIT!!" over and over again.  That said, I don't see why AJ pitched a fit from minute one about how much he would hurt, how he hated the class, blah blah.  There is a very distinct difference between gracefully acknowledging that something isn't your jam and having an adult tantrum and stomping off for show.  That would have been a huge turnoff for me. And I sure as heck wouldn't have gone running off after him- which is exactly what AJ wanted.

Edited March 27, 2019 by KateHearts

[Mazzy]

22 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

So far, it's just repeating the marriage scenes and last week's preview. Yawn. 

Enough of this boring filler footage!

This show has always been like this every episode. They repeat the guidelines of the "experiment" and show wedding footage literally every. single. intro. I skip the first maybe five full minutes, sometimes more, just because of that.

22 hours ago, Lacy4u said:

I wonder if Will has ever taken this long to have intimacy or displayed any sort of affection in previous relationships? I wish they would've shown Jasmine asking him these questions. Quite possibly this behavior is normal for him. He seems to live in his head way too much so he probably calculates every move he makes in his relationships instead of living in the moment & going with the flow. He's too methodical & robotish for me. I'd divorce him because my sexual appetite is way too strong to be married to someone who not only doesn't seem to desire me but has turned down all of my advances & doesn't seem to ever want to have sex with me! Is Will asexual???! Is Luke asexual, too???! Inquiring minds want to know.

I don't think Will and Luke are asexual, I think they both find nothing attractive about their wives and that's really the entire thing.

21 hours ago, Adeejay said:

What love story is Kate talking about?

The one in her middle school aged brain! Kate shows no maturity at all IMO and I see Kate wanting the RomCom ending that she fantasized about when she was 14. She wants the guy to come running after her. In the rain. In Paris or some shit! lol It's ridiculous.

[aphroditewitch]

The whole workout class thing was stupid. There is no way that AJ and Stephanie would be in the same class because she is advanced level and he is a beginner.  And even if he was not a beginner, anyone who has seen AJ would know that type of class does not suit his personality. A lot of people do not want to be singled out by a trainer like that. 

I workout almost every single day and I would not go to a class like that. I really don't like gyms or the general vibe they have. I prefer to workout at home and working out at home is the only thing I've ever stuck with and what has actually led to results. 

[configdotsys]

2 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

The whole workout class thing was stupid. There is no way that AJ and Stephanie would be in the same class because she is advanced level and he is a beginner.  And even if he was not a beginner, anyone who has seen AJ would know that type of class does not suit his personality. A lot of people do not want to be singled out by a trainer like that. 

I workout almost every single day and I would not go to a class like that. I really don't like gyms or the general vibe they have. I prefer to workout at home and working out at home is the only thing I've ever stuck with and what has actually led to results. 

I just can't help but think that AJ in all facets of his life has a problem with anyone who tries to tell him what to do. He has to be in charge. Stephanie's comments during the move got him pissed, he got pissed about the shower caddy, he works solo in his career, he blew up at the producer telling him that he had to do this homework thing, and now the instructor yelling what to do. He's a time bomb that is just fine and functional as long as everything is going his way. The minute he's no longer in charge, BOOM!

[aphroditewitch]

Just now, configdotsys said:

I just can't help but think that AJ in all facets of his life has a problem with anyone who tries to tell him what to do. He has to be in charge. Stephanie's comments during the move got him pissed, he got pissed about the shower caddy, he works solo in his career, he blew up at the producer telling him that he had to do this homework thing, and now the instructor yelling what to do. He's a time bomb that is just fine and functional as long as everything is going his way. The minute he's no longer in charge, BOOM!

They didn't move though, they packed a suitcase and went to a furnished rental and I think that is what he was annoyed about. Stephanie was even laughing at one point during that episode when he was talking about how stupid it was. And it was stupid. We already know that the cast goes to furnished rentals for filming, except for the Dallas season, so pretending to pack up an apartment makes no sense and is a waste of time. 

[sconstant]

9 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I have very little to say about Jasmine and Will because, as people, neither one is horrible but as a match they are not meshing. Petty aside: Jasmine uses the word "feelings" or "feel" (pronounced "fillings" or "fill") way too much and because of her weird pronunciation I've become hyperaware of it.

This was me and Kate and "feelming" (you know, when people are pointing cameras at you) last episode.   What was that?  Not a Philly thing.

7 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I agree it's hard to judge, but for me it's because this is TV, & there is just so much damn editing involved. That 'conversation' between K&L was so disjointed & made no sense. They also edited in statements they've both made at other times, & it was obvious because of the way it was said with the camera not on the person speaking at the time. One example was when they obviously replayed Luke saying "I don't want a divorce." in that drawn out, odd vocal tone he did when they were speaking on the bed. I knew right away he didn't just say that; the whole thing was messed with by production. We are apparently not allowed to hear how an actual conversation goes down between these two.

For some reason, I noticed this a lot during a talking head with Stephanie, where she said "I just need to figure out if I can deal with it when he gets mad" and they added "frustrated" and "or" before the "mad" - I feel like they are playing down anger and just showing ha ha how he walks out of a room when he has to pick up kettlebells too much.

11 hours ago, configdotsys said:

I know that's all dramatic for television but the scenes of them spending a night alone were weird. Everyone is staring at their rings and all sad because they are all alone. For one night? Lord. I get saying it feels weird after being together 24/7 for the past 8 weeks but jeebus, these growns ups acted like they didn't know what to do with themselves because the other was not there. As if that’s the reason to stay with someone: so I won’t be alone. Good luck with that, folks.

I don' t think you're recognizing the fact that AJ will have to eat at some point.  ALONE.

I don't know if the preview for next week is considered a spoiler so I am spoiler-protecting this comment.  @drogo just edit it out if it's not ok?

Spoiler

The preview had Pastor Cal saying (something like) "I am always pro-marriage, but not this time."  I feel like we're supposed to assume that it's Kate and Puke, but I am so up for it being a dramatic reveal of something else.  Please please please let this be about one of the other couples.  Otherwise, it's that Kate and Puke said yes and production made sure Pastor Cal was drinking a glass of water at the time and filmed the spit take.

[palmaire]

If we strip it down to basics, the couples really are intensively dating for the 7-8 weeks of the show. Except in one or two cases (like Jon being laid off), the spouses keep their own apartments/houses, maintain their own bills and have separate lives to go back to. 

In that sense, when the show ends they do have to make a decision whether or not to actually combine their lives and move in together for real, stay separate but continue to see each other, or to split.

Whether or not MAFS portrays those decisions realistically is another matter. The producers have a weird fixation on couples saying they will stay married on decision day, as if that's a "success" for them, even though we all know when it's a lie.

It's odd because couples breaking up is even more "dramatic" if that's what they're going for.

[Mazzy]

8 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

What money? I don't think they make as much as I have seen various articles claim. I doubt they are getting more than $10,000 before taxes for the entire season. And more realistically I would actually put the real number they get much lower than that. As far as I know, a contract has never been leaked from this show. 

This. Comments keep suggesting money but there is zero proof of that and if you Google it, as I just did, you find multiple past contestants saying they barely get enough to buy a crappy used car and the show itself saying it wouldn't make sense to pay people because they want people who actually want to be married. A site called Reality Blurred looked into the idea of getting a big pay off for staying together and they made very legit points of why that isn't even realistic: the show is super small on a small network so it's likely on a very small budget, and since they have 3-4 couples, if they got a big pay off that would be a big pay off for up to 8 people, which could cost more for the show than even the truly big pay offs of the super popular shows like Bachelor, etc.

Edit: HOWEVER there doesn't seem to be any incentive on splitting up on D-Day either because an InTouch article did a 'secrets of the show' story that claimed that 1. there is a longer amount of time than just up to D-Day that the show will pay attorney fees for a divorce, and 2. even the couples who break up have to stay together for 6 months before their divorce goes through. So that makes D-day even more arbitrary than it already seemed.

Edited March 28, 2019 by Mazzy

[greeneyedscorpio]

22 hours ago, EctoGammat said:

On a superficial note, at her dinner with Luke I noticed Kate’s hair was shinier and less yellow. She must have had a toner/purple hair masque done... they moisturize and take out brassy tones. Still think she’d look better as a red/auburn/dark strawberry blond. 

Okay, back to serious. As always - Kate, RUN!!!! 

Her hair looks so much like a wig to me.  Especially in that segment. 

[Mazzy]

My current take on the couples:

Kate and Luke - I just can't. I don't know and I don't care. Stay together, split up, you're both crusty nutbars. Kate is looking for a 14 year old's idea of love and Luke... maybe he's a sociopath. I really don't know what incentive he has to stay with Kate. She desperately wants a kiss at the end, he so very obviously has zero interest.

AJ and Stephanie - I really wish Stephanie had gotten to talk to AJ about his temper, and maybe she did. I feel editing in this show is extreme with the guiding of the audience to the drama they want to paint. But if it is real that she hasn't talked to AJ about this, I feel that AJ would try really hard to change. I feel he larady loves Stephanie and I feel that Stephanie genuinely enjoys spending time with AJ but for obvious reasons doesn't want to deal with that toddler temper of his. I think she could be and currently is happy with this man for the long haul IF they can talk about the temper or he can go to therapy to get some tips on how to properly process his feelings and exercises to do when he starts feeling it rise up.

Will and Jasmine - LOLOL FINALLY Will tells her about the constant hanging on him!! Since ep 2 I have noticed Jasmine constantly touches/rubs Will's face and pets his head and runs her fingers over his beard... gah! no one, and I mean NO ONE wants to have their face constantly fondled!!! And she's always draping herself over him too, and finally this episode he actually made a single comment about how she's always got her feet and legs laying on him. I think for Will that was a huge step in sharing his feelings. lol

But in seriousness, I think he's going to want a divorce and she's going to want to stay together and I also agree with comments suggesting she might say she wants a divorce just to try to save face. But I don't feel sorry for Jasmine. Even now she got snippy at the idea that he would even ever consider not wanting her but simultaneously was talking about how she had to consider things like she was the great catch and she didn't know if he was worthy. I can't stand her and I see why Will can't either.

Keith and Kristine - I think they stay together. I think they make it work. And I think they are happy together for at least enough time to call it a real marriage.
 

[OnTime]

4 hours ago, Soup333 said:

I honestly wonder what AJ’s reaction would be if Stephanie opted for divorce.

It would be Sam's reaction when Neil wanted a divorce!

[ladle]

Absolutely nothing happened in this episode, but at least the Kate/Luke clips can be used in psychology classes across America for years to come. 

[STRIDER1]

9 hours ago, shouldbedancing said:

I believe this but the question is... why didn't the "experts" pick up on this and screen him out?

Because the so called " experts " are complete !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% morons themselves and couldnt even pick their own noses correctly, much less matching up 2 compatible humans with a semi-plausible chance of matrimonial success