S10.E03: Kody Wants Out

[RedheadZombie]

In that picture in Sarah's room, Meri's mom looks exactly like Sarah.  The genes are strong on that side.

On ‎2‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 11:55 AM, SL16 said:

Isn't she the same one that was weeping and trembling while Logan carried her into Janelle's new house? She's a drama queen of the highest order.

I believe that was Breanna, who has actually gone on to be a sweet, calm girl.  Aurora seems to take her mother's "shoulda all been together" to heart, and gloms on to all of the OG kids.  I've seen her be the first to climb all over Logan on one of his visits.  

[RedheadZombie]

On ‎2‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 4:34 PM, Kyanight said:

I think the two Alldredge wives seem to have the right mindset.  There is a poster here that is the first wife and one of her best friends is the second, and they seem to also make it work.

I want to say that I wholeheartedly believe that how the husband handles the situation can make a huge difference.  He should respect his first (second/third/whatever) wife/wives when he is bringing in someone new.  He should always be considerate of how they are feeling, and maybe give extra attention and affection during that time.  I think that is one reason I disliked Kody so much - when we first see him he is courting Robyn and he made no effort to hide his MASSIVE infatuation for her and (at least on camera) we never saw him give much of himself to his other wives.  His wife is in labor and he's on a date, kissing his new squeeze.   I can't deal with that.  I know that editing contributes to what we see and how our impressions are formed -  but regardless - it was obvious that Robyn was all that mattered.

But the Alldredges are confusing, because unlike what they present on the show, first wife is actually second wife, and second is third.  First wife is Jeff's age, and they have grown or almost grown children.  She left the family at some point.  Vanessa is significantly younger than Jeff, and Cherise was snagged at the tender age of 18.

[Kyanight]

2 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

But the Alldredges are confusing, because unlike what they present on the show, first wife is actually second wife, and second is third.  First wife is Jeff's age, and they have grown or almost grown children.  She left the family at some point.  Vanessa is significantly younger than Jeff, and Cherise was snagged at the tender age of 18.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean?  It definitely didn't work out with the first wife - but it is working out with wife two and three and Jeff.   I know quite a few first wives who left after their husband felt the calling of polygamy.  I was definitely NOT cut out for it  - because of my husband, because of his mean spirited second wife and because of my own personality traits.

I read on the boards tonight that some people thought the luncheon with Hannah was big bore.  I loved it because of many things that were admitted/said.   I liked how it was FINALLY said on TV how there are wives who DON'T get along and do NOT talk and mingle and therefore their children do not get along.  One thing I love about the Browns is how the kids all love each other despite the fact that they have different mothers.  Kudos to the Brown wives for making that happen.  I thought it was also interesting that Janelle confessed how HARD it is to live that lifestyle.  Even thought they don't discuss it much in front of the camera, it was refreshing to have that honest confession.  I love how next week Meri and Christine talk about their personality conflicts.  At least they are working on it - that can't be easy!

[RedheadZombie]

7 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I'm not sure I understand what you mean?  It definitely didn't work out with the first wife - but it is working out with wife two and three and Jeff.   I know quite a few first wives who left after their husband felt the calling of polygamy.  I was definitely NOT cut out for it  - because of my husband, because of his mean spirited second wife and because of my own personality traits.

I read on the boards tonight that some people thought the luncheon with Hannah was big bore.  I loved it because of many things that were admitted/said.   I liked how it was FINALLY said on TV how there are wives who DON'T get along and do NOT talk and mingle and therefore their children do not get along.  One thing I love about the Browns is how the kids all love each other despite the fact that they have different mothers.  Kudos to the Brown wives for making that happen.  I thought it was also interesting that Janelle confessed how HARD it is to live that lifestyle.  Even thought they don't discuss it much in front of the camera, it was refreshing to have that honest confession.  I love how next week Meri and Christine talk about their personality conflicts.  At least they are working on it - that can't be easy!

I meant it's hard to gauge them, at least for me, against other first/second wives relationships because Vanessa was never a first wife.  In other first wives I've seen - Meri and in the Williams family - there's a tendency to be territorial and even to lord over the others that she's the true wife.  Vanessa and Cherise (Sharis?) never had to go through that, so they seem to be more similar to Janelle and Christine.  Vanessa wasn't crushed by the third wife because she always shared Jeff.  Eliminating a lot of that resentment would inherently make the sister wife relationship smoother, I would imagine.

That's simply my impression.

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, RedheadZombie said:

I meant it's hard to gauge them, at least for me, against other first/second wives relationships because Vanessa was never a first wife.  In other first wives I've seen - Meri and in the Williams family - there's a tendency to be territorial and even to lord over the others that she's the true wife.  Vanessa and Cherise (Sharis?) never had to go through that, so they seem to be more similar to Janelle and Christine.  Vanessa wasn't crushed by the third wife because she always shared Jeff.  Eliminating a lot of that resentment would inherently make the sister wife relationship smoother, I would imagine.

That's simply my impression.

oh!  I see what you are saying.   

[Gothish520]

15 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

I meant it's hard to gauge them, at least for me, against other first/second wives relationships because Vanessa was never a first wife.  In other first wives I've seen - Meri and in the Williams family - there's a tendency to be territorial and even to lord over the others that she's the true wife.  Vanessa and Cherise (Sharis?) never had to go through that, so they seem to be more similar to Janelle and Christine.  Vanessa wasn't crushed by the third wife because she always shared Jeff.  Eliminating a lot of that resentment would inherently make the sister wife relationship smoother, I would imagine.

That's simply my impression.

Very interesting points there, I'd never thought of it that way. That could explain why The Aldredge wives are pretty drama-free.

[Kyanight]

Just now, Gothish520 said:

Very interesting points there, I'd never thought of it that way. That could explain why The Aldredge wives are pretty drama-free.

Nah..... I think it's because both of the Alldredge wives left are kind and fairly easy-going.  If you get a barracuda second wife (I won't mention any names) who is demanding and petulant, NO subsequent wives are EVER going to be happy.

[Gothish520]

17 hours ago, Roslyn said:

Robyn posted on Instagram about Dayton starting uni right when they were posting moving stuff and going public about the move.

Yes. She posted on Aug 29, 2018 about Dayton's first day at uni.  While she never said what college/uni he was going to, and with a scan of the comments she never answered any questions either, it has been assumed that Dayton is attending in Flagstaff or very near by because she said he was starting, and not being taken to live anywhere.  SO for an official moving timeline...someone had to be talking about it long before August of 2018 because you don't get into a university with a month's notice.

My first instinct was to defend Robyn, but her reaction to the idea of moving coupled with this bit about Dayton definitely makes it a possibility that she and Kody had this planned out. Not that it's necessarily going to be a bad thing, because as others have said, Flagstaff seems like a much better fit for them than Vegas. But just the hell that is moving and selling/buying/building houses puts so much stress on folks. I can certainly understand the reticence coming from the others.

[Roslyn]

3 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

My first instinct was to defend Robyn, but her reaction to the idea of moving coupled with this bit about Dayton definitely makes it a possibility that she and Kody had this planned out. Not that it's necessarily going to be a bad thing, because as others have said, Flagstaff seems like a much better fit for them than Vegas. But just the hell that is moving and selling/buying/building houses puts so much stress on folks. I can certainly understand the reticence coming from the others.

I watched the episode this morning with Kodys "weird presentation" and thought exactly that.  Robyn's silence and then her emotionless statement that "families move like this all the time" and Janelle firing back at her "YES!!  For WORK!!".  Yup. Robyn and Kody cooked it up behind closed doors. Then she slips in about how "Dayton is going to college and he needs family (me) close for a coupla years for him to settle and we have to know where to apply and he needs to apply to college and this is all stressin me out"  Huh.  He started college in Flagstaff at the end of August 2018.  Huh.

[Pickleinthemiddle]

1 hour ago, Roslyn said:

I watched the episode this morning with Kodys "weird presentation" and thought exactly that.  Robyn's silence and then her emotionless statement that "families move like this all the time" and Janelle firing back at her "YES!!  For WORK!!".  Yup. Robyn and Kody cooked it up behind closed doors. Then she slips in about how "Dayton is going to college and he needs family (me) close for a coupla years for him to settle and we have to know where to apply and he needs to apply to college and this is all stressin me out"  Huh.  He started college in Flagstaff at the end of August 2018.  Huh.

True.  I remember once before Christine saying she was not going to move again, then Janelle saying she didn't want to pull Gabriel out in his junior year and move yet again to another school.  He really goes out of the way for Robyn and her kids.  But I can understand that she needs to be there for him.  I have two family members like him.  Both are high functioning but still rely on others for some of the things they know nothing about.  Attending university is overwhelming to some kids, more so for those who are autistic.

[KariLois]

On 2/13/2019 at 12:22 AM, Yeah No said:

It's actually different in different places in the US.  Where and when I grew up in NYC an A was 95-100, A- was 90-94, B+ was 85-89, B was 80-84, B- was 75-79, C was 70-74, C- was 65-69, and D was 60-64.  F was also 59 and below.

My husband was a wedding photographer for 30 years and says that a cash bar is still widely considered tacky but in spite of that it seems that they are on the rise because of the crazy prices the venues charge for it.   I got married a zillion years ago but it was still expensive - relatives pitched in to give us the cost of the cash bar as a gift.  You mean to tell me that with all those relatives they couldn't get anyone to help with the cost?

In other opinions, ITA with everyone about Mitch.  I had such high hopes for Aspyn as she seemed so bright and lovely, but she is clearly naive and not seeing the entire picture with this guy.  He seems so smug and full of himself, and that crazy old man beard of his in the wedding photo - Yikes.  When you have a fat face that's the last thing that would look good on it.  I guess the female Brown children think the wild man look is cool - after all their father sports the scary hair look himself.  But at least he isn't also very overweight.

I agree with whoever said upthread about Mariah being insufferable about her mother's dream, like she is so above her own family, give me a break.  Sure, it's a dumpy old grandma's house but this is her family too.  One of these days she might actually wish she had appreciated her family history.  I get it that she is distancing herself from them for her own reasons but this is her mother, the least she could do is show some support for her even if it's not also her dream.  I don't care how her relationship with Meri is, she is still her mom.  Mariah needs to get over herself in a big way.  I'm no Meri lover but Mariah is so vile she almost makes me feel sorry for her!

Oh and I am ROTFLMAO about the Virl resemblance above - I thought that too, LOL!  I think the woman next to him (his wife?) looks a little like Olive, the Osmond mom.

Mariah’s whole attitude makes me wonder if this is her reaction to having been raised in such an anti-LGBT environment.  That girl is angry.  

[neh]

Okay, "chicken and the egg" time...which came first - the move or Dayton getting accepted into a college in Flag?

[laurakaye]

Gotta be Dayton, because in this episode all the talk was of them moving back to Utah.  I think they ended up in Flagstaff because that's where Dayton wanted to go...but I cannot wrap my mind around why it was okay to yank Janelle's and Christine's kids out of school for the sake of Dayton.  Wouldn't that be a breeding ground for sibling resentment?  I know Kody doesn't care because children's feelings are for his wives to worry about, but can it be true that Robyn really is that evil?

Hahaha stupid question, as she is currently living in a 7 bed/7 bath house.  Silly me.

[smarty]

1 hour ago, neh said:

Okay, "chicken and the egg" time...which came first - the move or Dayton getting accepted into a college in Flag?

I wish we knew the definitive answer to that.  Plus, if he is attending Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff it costs $24,000 for tuition if you are out of state.  Given that you have to live in a state for a year before you are considered in state they are paying a pretty penny for him to attend!

[Kyanight]

3 minutes ago, smarty2020 said:

I wish we knew the definitive answer to that.  Plus, if he is attending Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff it costs $24,000 for tuition if you are out of state.  Given that you have to live in a state for a year before you are considered in state they are paying a pretty penny for him to attend!

What's wrong with attending a nearby community college to see if college is going to work for you?  They are all over the place.  You live at home and it's much cheaper.  I think that would have been the best way to ease Dalton into a new situation.

[suomi]

7 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Gotta be Dayton ... but can it be true that Robyn really is that evil?

Hahaha stupid question, as she is currently living in a 7 bed/7 bath house.  Silly me.

Mileage varies, and TV shows could be made about every dominant culture on earth. But, this particular show is about people who during their lifetimes soaked up characteristics and tendencies of the mormon culture, which I have nearly 50 years of family experience with, where gaslighting and stealth evil are common. You would be wise to watch your back and sleep with one eye open when the "nice, quiet" ones are in the vicinity because they are so stealth, so passive-agressive, and so manipulative that it sometimes takes your breath away and nearly causes you to doubt your sanity. 

[SunnyBeBe]

23 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Gotta be Dayton, because in this episode all the talk was of them moving back to Utah.  I think they ended up in Flagstaff because that's where Dayton wanted to go...but I cannot wrap my mind around why it was okay to yank Janelle's and Christine's kids out of school for the sake of Dayton.  Wouldn't that be a breeding ground for sibling resentment?  I know Kody doesn't care because children's feelings are for his wives to worry about, but can it be true that Robyn really is that evil?

Hahaha stupid question, as she is currently living in a 7 bed/7 bath house.  Silly me.

I'm not sure what month they started discussing the WHERE issue, but, it wasn't just Janelle and Christine's teens who had to change schools, but, Robyn's too. The three teens who were problematic with the move according to them in this episode were Gab (Janelle's), Gwyn (Chrsitine's) and Aurora (Robyn's adopted by Kody).  So, if this was planned way out by Robyn, then she was sacrificing Aurora.  

Edited February 20, 2019 by SunnyBeBe

[Kyanight]

2 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'm not sure what month they started discussing the WHERE issue, but, it wasn't just Janelle and Christine's teens who had to change schools, but, Robyn's too. The three teens who were problematic with the move according to them in this episode were Gab (Janelle's), Gwyn (Chrsitine's) and Aurora (Robyn's adopted by Kody).  So, if this was planned way out by Robyn, then she was sacrificing Aurora.  

Maybe it was worth it for Dalton's well-being in Robyn's mind.  

[SunnyBeBe]

28 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Maybe it was worth it for Dalton's well-being in Robyn's mind.  

Right. She may feel Dayton is more in need and Aurora would adapt, better than he would. Interesting theory.  I wonder if the truth will come out. 

[laurakaye]

23 hours ago, suomi said:

Mileage varies, and TV shows could be made about every dominant culture on earth. But, this particular show is about people who during their lifetimes soaked up characteristics and tendencies of the mormon culture, which I have nearly 50 years of family experience with, where gaslighting and stealth evil are common. You would be wise to watch your back and sleep with one eye open when the "nice, quiet" ones are in the vicinity because they are so stealth, so passive-agressive, and so manipulative that it sometimes takes your breath away and nearly causes you to doubt your sanity. 

Wow....so you have to watch for the ones that are openly hostile and awful (Meri) as well as the ones that are silent but deadly (Robyn).

It's honestly amazing that all polygamist's wives can sleep at night, what with constantly having to watch your back, be both mother and father for your kids, and scuffle for priority wife status.  No wonder so many of them eat their feelings.  What a horrible way to go through life.

[B in Lee]

On ‎2‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 1:29 PM, Natalie68 said:

I don't think so at all.  I have been to a ton of weddings and only 1 was a free bar.  I would hate to be thought of as tacky if I was providing the best I could.  At my wedding we didn't have a bar.  If someone wanted alcohol we had a keg and non alcoholic drinks.  But if someone thought I was tacky because I had a cash bar then those people should not have been on my guest list to begin with.

I don't think it's tacky either. Many weddings I have attended offered an open bar for a period of time. Plenty of time for the host to offer a drink with dinner, a drink or two for socializing after. These events are supposed to be to celebrate the joyousness of the happy couple's day, not a free-for-frat party. Those who want to continue to drink alcohol after the free bar closes can bring their wallets - and assume responsibility for their own inebriation. Any tackiness is not on the part of the hosts of the party, but on those who feel the need to get knee-walking, commode-hugging drunk as a way to "celebrate" - and who expect their binge to be free.

[B in Lee]

On ‎2‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 11:04 PM, Adeejay said:

 I just can't get over the fact that those frumpy Duggar girls managed to snag better looking husbands than the Brown girls.

I thought it rather telling that the Sister Wives all rallied behind Aspyn and assured her that they would make sure she got the wedding of her dream, because if memory serves, they did no such thing with Mykelti.  Is it my imagination or has Mykelti and Tony been banished? 

WTF! Those Duggar girls are beautiful - and in more ways than one.

[New2this]

On 2/19/2019 at 1:22 PM, Kyanight said:

What's wrong with attending a nearby community college to see if college is going to work for you?  They are all over the place.  You live at home and it's much cheaper.  I think that would have been the best way to ease Dalton into a new situation.

Has it been stated or determined that he is attending NAU? There’s also a community college in Flagstaff. 

I’m fairly new to the show, but it seems crazy to uproot everyone to follow him to school. NAU also seems like a pretty random school to move to be close to. It’s decent but certainly not elite. My guess is that they needed to get out of the houses for financial reasons and Robin limited the options to places where he could also attend college (so not middle of nowhere Utah). 

[Kyanight]

Just now, New2this said:

Has it been stated or determined that he is attending NAU? There’s also a community college in Flagstaff. 

I’m fairly new to the show, but it seems crazy to uproot everyone to follow him to school. NAU also seems like a pretty random school to move to be close to. It’s decent but certainly not elite. My guess is that they needed to get out of the houses for financial reasons and Robin limited the options to places where he could also attend college (so not middle of nowhere Utah). 

Very well could be!!

[Roslyn]

7 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'm not sure what month they started discussing the WHERE issue, but, it wasn't just Janelle and Christine's teens who had to change schools, but, Robyn's too. The three teens who were problematic with the move according to them in this episode were Gab (Janelle's), Gwyn (Chrsitine's) and Aurora (Robyn's adopted by Kody).  So, if this was planned way out by Robyn, then she was sacrificing Aurora.  

While Christine and Janelle were saying that their kids were thriving in LV, Robyn stated that her kids were being exposed to things that she didn't want them exposed to, so she is more than happy to get hers out of there regardless of their age.  Her priority seems to be to Dayton.

[Adeejay]

4 hours ago, B in Lee said:

WTF! Those Duggar girls are beautiful - and in more ways than one.

That may be so, but they are as frumpy and dumpy as heck.  

[VedaPierce]

On 2/19/2019 at 3:17 PM, smarty2020 said:

I wish we knew the definitive answer to that.  Plus, if he is attending Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff it costs $24,000 for tuition if you are out of state.  Given that you have to live in a state for a year before you are considered in state they are paying a pretty penny for him to attend!

That's true if you rent but not sure if it's true if you own property. You will pay less tuition immediately if you are an owner (I think. Have one going into college soon so I looked into it.) All they would need is Cody's name on one of the houses they purchase in flagstaff (Christine's) for Dayton to immediately be qualified for the state-discounted tuition. 

[VedaPierce]

On 2/19/2019 at 3:22 PM, Kyanight said:

What's wrong with attending a nearby community college to see if college is going to work for you?  They are all over the place.  You live at home and it's much cheaper.  I think that would have been the best way to ease Dalton into a new situation.

Not every college is special-needs friendly. They don't all offer those kind of accommodations that I'm sure Dayton was getting in Vegas--probably one of the reasons they 'just HAD to flee to vegas!'...I'm sure Vegas public schools offered much more for Dayton than wherever they 'fled' from. I know of only one competitive college in my area that offers accommodations. 

Edited February 23, 2019 by VedaPierce

[ginger90]

Dayton’s first day of college was August 2018. 

robyn_browns_nest

Dayton’s first day of college was this week! I cannot believe my baby is going to college! I am so proud of him! It has really made me reflective on the last 18 1/2 years and I am in awe that we are at this point. We have put so much hard work and determination into getting here and it has been such a wonderful journey. He is so absolutely amazing and so unique. This summer he went on three week long road trips alone (his choice) exploring every National Park and natural wonder he could in the states close to NV. I would get a call every night from him and he would tell me all about what he saw that day. He has been a machine helping us with our move this summer too. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for him. 😍. #ilovebeinghismom #outsidethebox #proudofhim#awonderfullife #ohtheplacesyoullgo

[Higgins]

1 hour ago, VedaPierce said:

That's true if you rent but not sure if it's true if you own property. You will pay less tuition immediately if you are an owner (I think. Have one going into college soon so I looked into it.) All they would need is Cody's name on one of the houses they purchase in flagstaff (Christine's) for Dayton to immediately be qualified for the state-discounted tuition. 

No, you must be a citizen of the state for 12 onths prior for in state tuition.

[Kohola3]

So Day'un can travel alone for weeks at a time but Mommy needs to uproot the entire fambly to be near him in college?  Guess we know who rules the Kootie Roost.

[VedaPierce]

35 minutes ago, Higgins said:

No, you must be a citizen of the state for 12 onths prior for in state tuition.

Well, first of all, from parenting magazine:

Every state—and every college—is different.
Few blanket solutions can be shared because every person's situation is unique. States and colleges have their own criteria for what it means to be an in-state resident for tuition purposes. It's possible to qualify for in-state tuition at one college in a state but not at another. Also, rules change ... sometimes unexpectedly.

And also, from my experience and knowledge, in Texas you can actually buy a parcel of land for a few thousand dollars to qualify for in-state tuition relatively quickly. You need to also show drivers license, pay property tax, and it helps if your parents live in the state, which the Browns now do. I know somebody who did this and it didn't take 12 months. That's incorrect.

You can also petition if denied.

[Pickleinthemiddle]

I know we give Robyn a lot of heck sometimes, but you have to give it to her to her she has gone above and beyond for Dayton.  She has done everything she can to make sure that he can achieve his goals.  My SIL is the same and his mom worked with him and he was ahead of the other kids when he started to school.  

[Absolom]

Quote

Through the Western Undergraduate Exchange (WUE), students from one of 14 Western states who attend our Flagstaff or Yuma campuses will pay a reduced tuition that is about 40% less than NAU’s non-resident tuition rate.

So the tuition would have been reduced if he was classified as a non-resident.  However, by having both parents move to Arizona and declare themselves as Arizona residents (housing, register cars, driving licenses, etc), it was probably enough for him as a dependent to qualify for in-state tuition.

https://nau.edu/student-service-center/exceptions-to-the-twelve-month-residency-rule/

[Twopper]

On 2/17/2019 at 8:37 PM, Roslyn said:

Yes. She posted on Aug 29, 2018 about Dayton's first day at uni.  While she never said what college/uni he was going to, and with a scan of the comments she never answered any questions either, it has been assumed that Dayton is attending in Flagstaff or very near by because she said he was starting, and not being taken to live anywhere.  SO for an official moving timeline...someone had to be talking about it long before August of 2018 because you don't get into a university with a month's notice. 

If he is attending in Flagstaff, he is at either Coconino  Community College or Northern Arizona State;  both have a 12 month residency requirement for in-state tuition, but someone has mentioned reduced rates for students from the western states. 

Not sure when he applied as NAU has rolling admissions, and I could find no cut off deadline.  It has a 75 percent acceptance rate.  Classes at NAU started Aug 27th.      So based on Robyn's post on Aug 29, my vote is for NAU.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

What's wrong with attending a nearby community college to see if college is going to work for you?  They are all over the place.  You live at home and it's much cheaper.  I think that would have been the best way to ease Dalton into a new situation.

Quote

So Day'un can travel alone for weeks at a time but Mommy needs to uproot the entire fambly to be near him in college?  Guess we know who rules the Kootie Roost.

I believe I read somewhere that Dayton is on the autism spectrum. Some colleges have special programs for students on the autism spectrum so he may be better served in one of those colleges than a community college or another four year college without a similar program. University of Arizona is listed here as one of the best colleges for students with autism: https://www.collegechoice.net/rankings/best-colleges-for-students-with-autism. It's in Tuscon though and I don't know if there are campuses in Flagstaff. 

Interestingly, there are options on the list in Utah and Idaho. 

And he could be going somewhere else altogether.

Even though Dayton did a couple of overnight trips on his own, college is really different and can be very challenging for students on the autism spectrum. Good for him for doing them but that doesn't mean that Robyn is making stuff up saying she needs to be nearby to support him at the beginning of college.

[Kyanight]

12 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Even though Dayton did a couple of overnight trips on his own, college is really different and can be very challenging for students on the autism spectrum. Good for him for doing them but that doesn't mean that Robyn is making stuff up saying she needs to be nearby to support him at the beginning of college.

Ok.... so would it be so unrealistic to have Robyn stay in a hotel or B&B or something for a month - 6 weeks, so that if Dalton needs help adjusting - she is there?  Instead of uprooting three other families and THEIR children and moving.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Ok.... so would it be so unrealistic to have Robyn stay in a hotel or B&B or something for a month - 6 weeks, so that if Dalton needs help adjusting - she is there?  Instead of uprooting three other families and THEIR children and moving.

Maybe. I don't know him or his needs. It's possible that his adjustment won't be linear - that every new semester he will need some additional support. People who have children with special needs often have to make those kinds of choices - when one thing is better for one kid and something different (and incompatible) is better for the other. 

All these people seem a little nuts to me but planning to be near Dayton while he goes to college is one of the more rationale things they seem to do.

[Kyanight]

14 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Maybe. I don't know him or his needs. It's possible that his adjustment won't be linear - that every new semester he will need some additional support. People who have children with special needs often have to make those kinds of choices - when one thing is better for one kid and something different (and incompatible) is better for the other. 

All these people seem a little nuts to me but planning to be near Dayton while he goes to college is one of the more rationale things they seem to do.

I have a son with Aspergers.  There is almost no point in even saying that because every special needs child/young adult is different so what they need to succeed will rarely be the same.   My son was very high functioning - he didn't need me to adjust to college, although new things are terribly hard for him.  So it's not that I'm not sympathetic.

If Dayton's needs were great enough that he needs his mother for support more than for the initial adjustment period than the BEST choice for EVERYONE in the family would have been to enroll him in a community college nearby.  Maybe have him take some online classes to start.  Look at other colleges around the area that are close enough for weekend visits or even a visit during the week if Dayton is stressed and anxious.  I DO know that Las Vegas has different higher school options to fit lots of different needs.  Maybe that would not have been first choice for Robyn in regards to her son - but in this situation there ARE a LOT of people involved besides Dayton.  More than a dozen, at least - whose needs and well-being also matter.  One person's happiness is not more important than everyone else's in the family - there ARE other solutions.

We don't know for sure if this is why everyone was uprooted and moved to a more expensive area (when the excuse Kody gave was finances) but IF Dayton was the reason - I think other avenues could have been explored so that a situation that is fair to everyone could have been found.

Edited February 26, 2019 by Kyanight
Wrote "Dalton" instead of "Dayton" so I fixed it.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

If Dalton's needs were great enough that he needs his mother for support more than for the initial adjustment period than the BEST choice for EVERYONE in the family would have been to enroll him in a community college nearby.  Maybe have him take some online classes to start.  Look at other colleges around the area that are close enough for weekend visits or even a visit during the week if Dalton is stressed and anxious.  I DO know that Las Vegas has different higher school options to fit lots of different needs.  Maybe that would not have been first choice for Robyn in regards to her son - but in this situation there ARE a LOT of people involved besides Dalton.  More than a dozen, at least - whose needs and well-being also matter.  One person's happiness is not more important than everyone else's in the family - there ARE other solutions.

Agree to disagree then. I have no way of knowing what the best choice for everyone would be because I don't know Dalton or his needs or the capacity of the other children to adapt to the move. I think it's nearly impossible to find a solution that would "make everyone happy" or be "fair" to everyone, particularly when one child has special needs. As you noted, every special needs child needs something different. Community college might have worked well for Dalton. Or not. I'm not sure there was a solution that worked for him that would have suited all his siblings equally so yes, someone ends up with a suboptimal situation. Such is life.

[Absolom]

The person in question is named Dayton not Dalton.  Thanks!

[Pickleinthemiddle]

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

I have a son with Aspergers.  There is almost no point in even saying that because every special needs child/young adult is different so what they need to succeed will rarely be the same.   My son was very high functioning - he didn't need me to adjust to college, although new things are terribly hard for him.  So it's not that I'm not sympathetic.

If Dalton's needs were great enough that he needs his mother for support more than for the initial adjustment period than the BEST choice for EVERYONE in the family would have been to enroll him in a community college nearby.  Maybe have him take some online classes to start.  Look at other colleges around the area that are close enough for weekend visits or even a visit during the week if Dalton is stressed and anxious.  I DO know that Las Vegas has different higher school options to fit lots of different needs.  Maybe that would not have been first choice for Robyn in regards to her son - but in this situation there ARE a LOT of people involved besides Dalton.  More than a dozen, at least - whose needs and well-being also matter.  One person's happiness is not more important than everyone else's in the family - there ARE other solutions.

We don't know for sure if this is why everyone was uprooted and moved to a more expensive area (when the excuse Kody gave was finances) but IF Dalton was the reason - I think other avenues could have been explored so that a situation that is fair to everyone could have been found.

My thought is that any school in the Las Vegas area would have a larger student body, than one in Flagstaff.  Maybe trying to make it less stressful for him.  Our local CC only has about 300 students at it's busiest time of the day.

[toodles]

36 minutes ago, Absolom said:

The person in question is named Dayton not Dalton.  Thanks!

Also known as Dayuun.😆😆

[Joan of Argh]

On 2/11/2019 at 8:05 AM, SunnyBeBe said:

In the scenes last night, I thought that Aspyn's fiance really resembled TONY!  Something about their face and body shape.  Even their personalities...so smart asp.  I don't care for it.  I would have trouble getting behind that choice. She seems so naive.  

THIS!   He totally reminds me of Tony...he's ugly and has the same arrogant sort of smirk and putrid personality..

I don't know why a cute, sweet girl like Aspyn would settle for a turd like that.  *barf*

[Joan of Argh]

On 2/13/2019 at 9:50 AM, TurtlePower said:

Having said that, I think Meri was doomed to be unhappy from the get go, as you suggest. And she's still there, making appearances and such. I wonder if she has a long-game planned for when the show ends. I cannot imagine how awful it would be to be stuck in a filming contract with a family that made me miserable. 

I'm not a big fan of Meri but I'd love it if TLC dropped Kootie and the 3 wives and gave Meri her own show about running a haunted B&B....  Kootie and gang would shit themselves trying to remain relevant 😂 

I'd love to see Kootie suck up to Meri. 😘😣

[Elizzikra]

Quote

The person in question is named Dayton not Dalton.  Thanks!

Thanks and sorry!

[Kyanight]

4 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Quote

The person in question is named Dayton not Dalton.  Thanks!

Thanks and sorry!

I fixed my post!

[Gothish520]

14 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

THIS!   He totally reminds me of Tony...he's ugly and has the same arrogant sort of smirk and putrid personality..

I don't know why a cute, sweet girl like Aspyn would settle for a turd like that.  *barf*

I completely disagree. I think Mitch is cute and seems like a pretty chill guy. He does not remind me AT ALL of Tony.  

[Kyanight]

24 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

I completely disagree. I think Mitch is cute and seems like a pretty chill guy. He does not remind me AT ALL of Tony.  

I find Tony repulsive - and part of that is his personality.  I think Mitch is fairly handsome but it's his attitude that bothers me.   There's been more than one couch session that made my spine tense up when it comes to how he feels about Aspyn.  I DEFINITELY think she is much more into him than visa versa.

[Sandy W]

23 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

I completely disagree. I think Mitch is cute and seems like a pretty chill guy. He does not remind me AT ALL of Tony.  

Mitch is too chill for my liking.  The way he demeaned Aspyn by letting it be known that it was she who was the aggressor in the courtship, even if true, was an unchivalrous thing to do.  Plus, I firmly believe he has an agenda re. multiple wives and Aspyn is a fool for not eliciting a firm commitment from him before marriage if she is as against the concept as she claims to be.

To each their own, but I find the facial hair repulsive and he has a middle-aged man's portly figure.  As bad as Tony is, what you see, is what you get, maybe Mitch is uncomfortable in front of cameras, but I get a very sneaky vibe from him.