S08.E06: Honey, I'm Home?

[Jack Sampson]

On 1/30/2019 at 9:12 PM, Yeah No said:

I think Jasmine wants to be the more dominant one in her relationship judging from the subtle ways she keeps putting him "in his place", but Will is not jazzed by that dynamic which is why he is keeping his distance from her.  That's not his thing.

 

She wants Will to be dominant only when it suits her...meaning she wants to maintain control, even over the way he's allowed to be a man.

She's trying to be strong and independent while pretending to be traditional and submissive.  It never works, true colors come out.

1 hour ago, LuvMyShows said:

I completely disagree.  Many times she has expressed desire for Will to man up in pretty much every way possible...financially, socially, protector-ishly, and definitely sexually.  I think that the Franklin man she thinks she wants is a take-charge man, in every possible way.  Her putting him in his place isn't because that place is where she wants him...she's calling him out on being in that place, because she wants him in some other place (meaning, taking charge)!

Telling a man to man-up is just a shaming technique.  She's not encouraging him to be more of her version of manhood, she's nagging him - even mocking him.  Despite what she claims, she doesn't want a traditional marriage.  And telling Cal that she'd gladly be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen was a complete lie.  I'm sure she wants kids, but Jas would freak out if Will told her to go make him a sandwich.

[Jack Sampson]

I don't get the Kate hate.  Kate's a sweet girl who probably blames herself for getting dumped by that Jewish dude so she's giving MAFS everything she has.  Sure she could lose weight and work on her voice, but she's exactly the unguarded, sincere type of person who would normally stand the best shot of making it work on a show like this.  Too bad she got matched with Luke.

[humbleopinion]

Kate is no Ashley Petta but she is to paraphrase  Notting Hill... she is just a girl asking a boy to love her....Too bad she was horribly mismatched with Puke....

[Virginia]

Gotta say I'm bummed that we missed out on the house hunting.  As a Philadelphian I was placing bets on where everyone lives and now I have no closure!  So any fellow Philly people want to play?

Stephanie - totally Washington Sq West 

AJ - could have sworn there was a clip of him walking on Mifflin around 12th and there's no reason to film there unless he wanted to show the crew where the best croissants in the city are ;).  So I'm guessing Passyunk for him, although I would think he could get a better place down there.

Keith - Olney/Cheltenham perhaps?  His grandma's yard makes me think they're on the edge of the city.

Kristine - I don't think we saw her at her parents home

Will and Jasmine - West Philly/Mt Airy? 

Kate - Doylestown.  I don't get any city vibes from her.

Luke- Manayunk but he wants people to think Fishtown. 

[Drogo]

A number of posts have been removed. 

As a reminder:  Everyone's allowed to snark on the show and its participants.  No one's allowed to be uncivil towards other posters.  If you see someone being rude to you or another poster, report the offending post.  Don't engage/escalate/argue: it won't fix anything, any back-and-forth will get removed anyway, and you'll probably end up with a warning or time-out.  Just report it and move on.

And in case anyone needs a reminder about how to ignore posters they don't like: here you go.

[gonecrackers]

11 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I don’t like being taken for a fool.  There’s a lot of time wasted here.

I think of them as the new soap operas. I don't like seeing real people openly mistreated on these shows though, & on other shows where kids are involved... just, no.

Edited February 1, 2019 by gonecrackers

[discoprincessthe2]

15 hours ago, configdotsys said:

This is a guy that is 100% content with laying on the couch all day and night and eating home cooked meals prepared for him. I think he signed up for one of those medical assistant type programs because he needed to find a career. I see nothing wrong with that at all. If he was living with grandma who was cooking and cleaning for him, whatever he earned was all his to spend so he was probably very content with that arrangement. Now he has a potential problem because he was hooked up with a driven woman.

This page has the requirements for a PA dialysis tech:

http://dialysistechniciancentral.com/pennsylvania-dialysis-technician-requirements/

An RN program is insanely rigorous and his couch potato style does not fit that at all. It sounds like they are trying to make his career sound better for the show because Kristine is very driven. 

Yes. If Keith is working a job in addition to doing course work and clinicals, I don't see how he'd be able to fit in time for Kristine (and this filming schedule).

 

1 hour ago, Virginia said:

Gotta say I'm bummed that we missed out on the house hunting.  As a Philadelphian I was placing bets on where everyone lives and now I have no closure!  So any fellow Philly people want to play?

Stephanie - totally Washington Sq West 

AJ - could have sworn there was a clip of him walking on Mifflin around 12th and there's no reason to film there unless he wanted to show the crew where the best croissants in the city are ;).  So I'm guessing Passyunk for him, although I would think he could get a better place down there.

Keith - Olney/Cheltenham perhaps?  His grandma's yard makes me think they're on the edge of the city.

Kristine - I don't think we saw her at her parents home

Will and Jasmine - West Philly/Mt Airy? 

Kate - Doylestown.  I don't get any city vibes from her.

Luke- Manayunk but he wants people to think Fishtown. 

On a related note, I was wondering who is a Philly native and who isn't. I know I read that AJ is from New York, and Stephanie has mentioned living in Philly for "a few years", so they're both transplants. I bet Jasmine is a native. 

The size of Keith's grandma's yard also looks like she's not living in a row home or a twin (or maybe in a twin but on a corner lot). Jasmine's house definitely looks like a row home, and I'm thinking it's in Mt. Airy.

Edited February 1, 2019 by discoprincessthe2

[humbleopinion]

Team SexySF because of the packing scenario fiasco....

AJ admitted he will likely stay at the apartment over night. SexyAF was taken aback but bit her tongue...

“If I see AJ upset I initially want to take action,”  SexyAF said in her TH.

I try to fix it and make him happy but when I see him snap and get mad at a certain point I start to feel a little uncomfortable.

I’m trying not to take things he’s saying personally, but it’s hard to do especially when he’s talking about staying the night apart.”

Sexy AF is one smart cookie...not so sure if AJ deserves her.

He doesn't realize that he needs to think before he says hurtful things aloud.

AJ will fly off the handle about something trivial...fume and sputter about staying at his place but come crawling into her bed later that night....she knew he just had to throw his tantrum and would eventually come to his senses and to her....

Edited February 1, 2019 by humbleopinion

[aphroditewitch]

50 minutes ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

Yes. If Keith is working a job in addition to doing course work and clinicals, I don't see how he'd be able to fit in time for Kristine (and this filming schedule).

 

Is it confirmed that he is in a RN program or a BSN program? Because it might be a LPN program which is not nearly as intensive. I know Ashley from season 3 was in a BSN program but I don't think she had a true outside job at the time and was doing work within her school. 

[Gem 10]

On ‎1‎/‎29‎/‎2019 at 9:41 PM, Straycat80 said:

Why is Pastor Cal talking about Will and Jasmine having children? They’ve only been married 9 days. And what’s wrong with being friends first before they have sex? He’s pushing things too fast. 

Is this Pastor for real or what?  He’s talking children when Will looks checked out already.

 

BTW, where’s Blondie?  I haven’t seen her in awhile.  Honeymoon????

[Koalagirl]

Finally got to watch the episode.  Couldn't help noticing Will's eyes constantly shifting around as if looking for an escape route.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

19 hours ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

When Keith said he was in nursing school (which I assumed was going to lead to him becoming an registered nurse), but he said he wanted to become a doctor, I was confused. Those are two different types of schooling. (Why would he even want to do both?)

You can get a Doctorate in nursing. 

I have a cousin and a a couple of friends who did exactly that.

[Captain Asshat]

On 1/30/2019 at 2:10 PM, aphroditewitch said:

Because grandmothers don't live forever. 

Neither do the majority of marriages on MAFS. Grandma has a *very* good chance of outliving this (likely) eight-week relationship. 

[configdotsys]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

AJ will fly off the handle about something trivial...fume and sputter about staying at his place but come crawling into her bed later that night....she knew he just had to throw his tantrum and would eventually come to his senses and to her....

Those fuming/sputtering fests cause such a great deal of stress and aggravation to the person on the receiving end of them. Then the sputterer thinks that because they return-- with their anger dissipated-- and say, "Well, you know me, high strung and stuff," that the other person is supposed to flip like a light switch as though nothing happened and just accept that type of behavior because well, that's how he is. Stephanie's willingness to deal with that reeks of being so desperate for a husband that she'll put up with quite a lot. I can't imagine having a situation in which I can never disagree about anything with my spouse because they will fly off the handle. How the hell do you live like that, having no opinion or walking on egg shells all the time? What happens when a real issue has to be dealt with that is higher on the importance scale than whether to take a picture off the wall or put a shower caddy up? 

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, Koalagirl said:

Finally got to watch the episode.  Couldn't help noticing Will's eyes constantly shifting around as if looking for an escape route.

If a guy was on his honeymoon on a beautiful romantic location with a woman he just legally married, wouldn’t he at least kiss or hug her?  Bet if it was another woman he was instantly attracted to, he would.  After my wedding, the husband and I went to my room to count the money in the booty bag and he threw me on the bed laughing and we had a spectular time as we were so happy.  That’s the difference in knowing each other and having a courtship, as you on here all know.  You can’t beat it.  Too much TMI, I know, haha.  I’m sure you all had a great experience when you were marrying for love. ❤️❤️

Edited February 1, 2019 by Gem 10

[Ilovepie]

9 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

I don't get the Kate hate.

I don't think it's hate. She doesn't have enough personality to generate hate, and she hasn't done anything wrong except stay with a man who was verbally abusive to her. My problem is that listening to her talk drives me a little crazy because she is expressionless and she talks like she is drugged/on drugs. She just seems vacant. I do think she is a pretty girl, and there are probably a lot of guys who would have been happy to be matched with her, but I think she would be getting flamed more for being boring if she was matched with anyone but Luke. She is not because most feel sorry for her. Also, she dresses way too frumpy for her age, but again, not serious enough to generate hate, just more like, why is this attractive young woman dressing so old?!?

[Crazy Bird Lady]

37 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

Those fuming/sputtering fests cause such a great deal of stress and aggravation to the person on the receiving end of them. Then the sputterer thinks that because they return-- with their anger dissipated-- and say, "Well, you know me, high strung and stuff," that the other person is supposed to flip like a light switch as though nothing happened and just accept that type of behavior because well, that's how he is. Stephanie's willingness to deal with that reeks of being so desperate for a husband that she'll put up with quite a lot. I can't imagine having a situation in which I can never disagree about anything with my spouse because they will fly off the handle. How the hell do you live like that, having no opinion or walking on egg shells all the time? What happens when a real issue has to be dealt with that is higher on the importance scale than whether to take a picture off the wall or put a shower caddy up? 

I wonder if AJ has ever spent time seeing a good, legitimate therapist? 

He obviously needs to, and it might make a big difference in this marriage.  ...I agree with you but I still think this pair make a good couple and could really enjoy each other, long-term --without the 'crazy' part from AJ. 

Sadly, we all know, the "experts" on this show will do exactly the opposite of what Steph and AJ need. 

[aphroditewitch]

10 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

I don't get the Kate hate. 

Kate is an easy target because of what she is representing  whether willingly or not on her part, what people fear. People fear both rejection and being made to look weak or foolish. As a result, Kate is the perfect target for animosity because no one wants to admit that they could be in that situation, regardless of whether it is on tv or just in their real life. 

[Ohwell]

20 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I don't think it's hate. She doesn't have enough personality to generate hate, and she hasn't done anything wrong except stay with a man who was verbally abusive to her. My problem is that listening to her talk drives me a little crazy because she is expressionless and she talks like she is drugged/on drugs. She just seems vacant. I do think she is a pretty girl, and there are probably a lot of guys who would have been happy to be matched with her, but I think she would be getting flamed more for being boring if she was matched with anyone but Luke. She is not because most feel sorry for her. Also, she dresses way too frumpy for her age, but again, not serious enough to generate hate, just more like, why is this attractive young woman dressing so old?!?

Exactly.  I don't hate her.  She hasn't done anything to generate hatred, she's just so boring and seems so out of it.  And I don't understand the frumpiness in someone so young and pretty (although that hair is piled on so high I wonder if something is hiding under it). 

[Gem 10]

10 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I wonder if AJ has ever spent time seeing a good, legitimate therapist? 

He obviously needs to, and it might make a big difference in this marriage.  ...I agree with you but I still think this pair make a good couple and could really enjoy each other, long-term --without the 'crazy' part from AJ. 

Sadly, we all know, the "experts" on this show will do exactly the opposite of what Steph and AJ need. 

Well, if that’s the worst thing about A.J. It could be fixed like Crazy Bird Lady said.  He either has to control his anger with therapy or meds.  She is very patient with him as she knows this is probably her last shot.  I give her credit.  If he cares for her, he will do everything to fix himself or else he’s back on the drawing board and eating at the counter.  Stephanie is a gem from what I see.  Things ain’t easy.  It’s a lot of work constantly.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

45 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

Well, if that’s the worst thing about A.J. It could be fixed like Crazy Bird Lady said.  He either has to control his anger with therapy or meds.  She [Steph] is very patient with him as she knows this is probably her last shot.  I give her credit.  If he cares for her [and it's clear that he does], he will do everything to fix himself or else he’s back on the drawing board and eating at the counter.  Stephanie is a gem from what I see.  Things ain’t easy.  It’s a lot of work constantly.

I agree with you 100% about Stephanie. She has the patience and understanding that AJ needs. But I think he also needs a thorough psych evaluation by a legitimate specilist, and afterward, he may need a couple years of therapy as well as probably meds for life. 

The thing is, AJ really does appreciate Stephanie and he's clearly well on his way to being head-over-heels in love with her. If  AJ doesn't make the [incredibly stupid but way too common] assumption that he's already being/been helped by "therapists" from MAFS (ugh!), I think there's a good chance he'll do whatever it takes to keep her.  

[Neurochick]

23 hours ago, Soup333 said:

So what’s the point of Cal’s blustering then? Just to absolve the experts’ responsibility? They said they want to continue on film so we’re good! 

Maybe THEY should have been the ones that decided to end it.  These aren't children and the experts aren't their parents.

[Empress1]

6 hours ago, Virginia said:

Gotta say I'm bummed that we missed out on the house hunting.  As a Philadelphian I was placing bets on where everyone lives and now I have no closure!  So any fellow Philly people want to play?

Stephanie - totally Washington Sq West 

AJ - could have sworn there was a clip of him walking on Mifflin around 12th and there's no reason to film there unless he wanted to show the crew where the best croissants in the city are ;).  So I'm guessing Passyunk for him, although I would think he could get a better place down there.

Keith - Olney/Cheltenham perhaps?  His grandma's yard makes me think they're on the edge of the city.

Kristine - I don't think we saw her at her parents home

Will and Jasmine - West Philly/Mt Airy? 

Kate - Doylestown.  I don't get any city vibes from her.

Luke- Manayunk but he wants people to think Fishtown. 

Oooh, I'll play! (I grew up in Mount Airy.) I was disappointed that we didn't get more into neighborhoods too. Where do they live? Where do they work? Do any of them work outside the city? If so, how would they handle that? Commutes can be a bitch - if somebody is living in South Philly and commuting to King of Prussia, that's at least a solid hour sitting on 76 in traffic. How would they handle that?

Jasmine said she grew up in West Philly (which, seeing her family at the wedding, I would have guessed). I feel sure that the house they're in for the show is in Mount Airy. I think Will said his house is in Mount Airy too, and looking at it it gave me that vibe (or Germantown, maybe).

Kate doesn't give me "originally from the city" vibes either. She works in hotel marketing so she's got to be in the city now; I could see her with roommates in Rittenhouse or Old City - someplace kind of trendy.

I don't remember anything about Kristine's place. I wondered if Keith was in East Oak Lane.

Luke's appearance screams gentrified Fishtown.

4 hours ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

Stephanie has mentioned living in Philly for "a few years", so they're both transplants.

Stephanie may be a city transplant but I'd bet she grew up in the suburbs. She's got the accent (the Philly accent isn't the kind of accent that's easily picked up just by living there for a few years) and kind of the look.

1 hour ago, Ilovepie said:

Also, [Kate] dresses way too frumpy for her age, but again, not serious enough to generate hate, just more like, why is this attractive young woman dressing so old?!?

And she leans more toward casual. The dress she wore to the group dinner on the honeymoon was not only a bad shape for her, but it was a day dress. I think she paired it with Birkenstock-esque sandals. The other women were more dressed up.

I was curious so I looked up Stephanie on LinkedIn. She's been in Philly since she got out of college in 2005 and she has a pretty impressive work history - her last three roles have been at Morgan Stanley, SunGard, and she's currently at Deloitte. That means she works in the heart of Center City (they were a few blocks from her office when they were in front of City Hall).

Edited February 1, 2019 by Empress1

[Neurochick]

20 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

The "bitch edit" can lead to very real issues that go beyond the show. It can cause employment issues and death threats are a big deal. Unfortunately these shows are allowed to get away with these contracts where the participants have little recourse. 

I don't know if I want to give these people a pass.  When a person goes on a reality show, they have to sign a contract, and the contract       basically says, "we own your image and we can do whatever the hell we want with it."  Is it moral?  No, it sucks, but no one is forcing anybody to be on a show like this.  There have been people who the producers really wanted to have on the show, but they backed off.  I remember one black woman whose family talked her out of being on the show. 

A few weeks ago, I was at a comic book festival and in one of the rooms, there were people filming, maybe it was for a documentary, or maybe something on basic cable.  Before you entered the room, there was a sign that said they were filming in that room, and if you went into that room, you were agreeing to maybe being filmed.  

[aphroditewitch]

12 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don't know if I want to give these people a pass.  When a person goes on a reality show, they have to sign a contract, and the contract       basically says, "we own your image and we can do whatever the hell we want with it."  Is it moral?  No, it sucks, but no one is forcing anybody to be on a show like this.  There have been people who the producers really wanted to have on the show, but they backed off.  I remember one black woman whose family talked her out of being on the show. 

A few weeks ago, I was at a comic book festival and in one of the rooms, there were people filming, maybe it was for a documentary, or maybe something on basic cable.  Before you entered the room, there was a sign that said they were filming in that room, and if you went into that room, you were agreeing to maybe being filmed.  

I've never claimed that anyone is forced to do the show. I'm arguing that people don't truly know how bad it can be until it happens to them. These shows tend to use less than 1% of what they film and that percentage is still heavily edited. 

The comic book festival comparison doesn't work here. The people filming aren't going to be using the footage to manipulate opinions of specific individuals that they catch on film. 

[Empress1]

4 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

The comic book festival comparison doesn't work here. The people filming aren't going to be using the footage to manipulate opinions of specific individuals that they catch on film. 

True. My best friend bought her wedding dress from Kleinfeld's, which is the shop featured on Say Yes to the Dress. They had similar "we film a reality show here, so if you're here and there are cameras, you might be on camera" signs up - but you have to apply to be featured on the show, and go through whatever the process is and sign the contract. Those signs just mean "hey, if you see yourself in the background while you're flipping through channels one day, this is why." (My friend did not and would not have applied to do the show and if she had, honestly no one in her bridal party, including me, would have gone on it with her, especially her mother.)

I feel like in 2019, there's enough out there about how the reality TV sausage is made that people who do it have the option to make an informed choice about whether the risks outweigh the rewards. 

[Lusterleaf]

Will is not attracted to Jasmine. I think physically he was OK with her it's more so her personality. Once he heard about her values/ideals I think it really threw him off.

I really think production should have done the right thing and let Kate leave the show. I don't get why Pastor Cal encouraged them to stay together after hearing what Luke said to Kate. I don't think there's any coming back from that. I know they are under contract but in a case like this, they should reconsider vs. having Kate stick it out with him because he clearly doesn't want to be anywhere near her.

I love Stephanie, I hope her and AJ work out but I do see a bit of anger issues on his part that may be a problem for them in the future.

I think Kristine and Keith will make it.

[humbleopinion]

I fear for AJ if he pushes Sexy AF too far and the newlywed goggles come off and she sees him for what he is.

A ill tempered,  set in his ways, resistant to change, can't teach an old dog new tricks, temper throwing, lashing out, insensitive, loudmouth... he would be smart to be afraid of pushing her too far....

Right now the newlywed goggles lets her see a man who get frustrated, gets anxious, feels he is trapped in a corner over every little change and decision and who  speaks out of his ass no matter if it stings Sexy AF or not...IT IS ALL ABOUT HIM.

If he doesn't start appreciating her...she will find the door.....

[answerphone]

Luke's comments to Kate will forever be in her thoughts.

 

What a shame he was chosen for this show.

[configdotsys]

4 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Well, if that’s the worst thing about A.J. It could be fixed like Crazy Bird Lady said.  He either has to control his anger with therapy or meds.  She is very patient with him as she knows this is probably her last shot.  I give her credit.  If he cares for her, he will do everything to fix himself or else he’s back on the drawing board and eating at the counter.  Stephanie is a gem from what I see.  Things ain’t easy.  It’s a lot of work constantly.

There is no way on earth I'd stay with someone that needed to be fixed in such a major way and can only attribute serious desperation to someone who would so so. This is not a disagreement over what color paint to use or other things that have available compromises. This is someone who blows up with anger over small things or anything that deviates from what he wants. No thanks. AJ seems to think that "Well this is meeeeeee!" is a perfectly good excuse to blow his top and act like a diva over everything, cool off and everything goes back to normal. Stephanie is scared to have an opinion because she's desperate so she takes all this anger and says nothing. I don't recall what AJ said about past relationships but I don't believe for a minute that he hasn't been acutely aware of his problem. That he did not avail himself of the many help options available to get his shit together before looking for a serious relationship, he instead signs on for a show that will land him a wife before she knows about his diva assholishness.

[qtpye]

On 1/31/2019 at 2:42 PM, dirtypop90 said:

Well we know these job titles they give them are fuzzy.  Regarding Keith, my friend in Philly told me in some places dialysis tech's get paid by the hour, and she knows some who make under 30k.  So if Keith doesn't get a lot of hrs, he might 20k-30k, so it's believable Kristine makes much more.  Apparently, Will isn't a financial analyst and his job is more akin to client relations.  I was curious after the 50/50 discussion and seeing his home, so I went poking around the web.

I actually am disappointed that they did not talk about Luke and Kate's finances. I want to know if Luke really works as a Civil Engineer. With all his side hustles and signing up for this show, he seems very desperate for money.

Is anyone else shocked every time they flash that AJ is only 37? He looks at least a decade older and could easily pass for someone "knocking on fifty".

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

There is no way on earth I'd stay with someone that needed to be fixed in such a major way and can only attribute serious desperation to someone who would so so. This is not a disagreement over what color paint to use or other things that have available compromises. This is someone who blows up with anger over small things or anything that deviates from what he wants. No thanks. AJ seems to think that "Well this is meeeeeee!" is a perfectly good excuse to blow his top and act like a diva over everything, cool off and everything goes back to normal. Stephanie is scared to have an opinion because she's desperate so she takes all this anger and says nothing. I don't recall what AJ said about past relationships but I don't believe for a minute that he hasn't been acutely aware of his problem. That he did not avail himself of the many help options available to get his shit together before looking for a serious relationship, he instead signs on for a show that will land him a wife before she knows about his diva assholishness.

Being that she’s already married to him and wants to stay with him, if I were her, I would go to his family or good friends and try to find out whats the story with him.  Was he always like this?  Does he always go off the rails at every little thing?  She could be subtle about asking if they were having dinner or a get together.  It’s worth a try.  If anyone would know, it would be his Mother.  I know he’s loud and has a short fuse, but underneath I think he’s a good person.  I’ve seen worse.

p.s.  What about the experts?  Do they see a problem with him?  Isn’t that what they are there for.  Stephanie should ask them.  They are the ones who picked him.

Edited February 2, 2019 by Gem 10

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

There is no way on earth I'd stay with someone that needed to be fixed in such a major way and can only attribute serious desperation to someone who would so so. This is someone who blows up with anger over small things or anything that deviates from what he wants.

AJ seems to think that "Well this is meeeeeee!" is a perfectly good excuse to blow his top, cool off and everything goes back to normal. Stephanie is scared to have an opinion because she's desperate so she takes all this anger and says nothing. I don't believe for a minute that he hasn't been acutely aware of his problem. ...he did not avail himself of the many help options available to get his shit together before looking for a serious relationship...

AJ, like most people (especially men) who have emotional/personality diseases and conditions, knows full well that he isn't "normal" emotionally. It terrifies him. But of course, AJ has abnormal anxiety issues, and when that anxiety bubbles to the top, he acts angry. Maybe because it's more socially acceptable for men to get angry than panicked --I don't know. Maybe he also has a deep pool of unresolved rage inside him. That's why he needs to get a bunch of psych testing done before some hack decides to treat him for something that may not be AJ's real problem at all.

I have a question for all of you. Do you think mental illness (which may actually be treatable with medication) is a bigger deal-breaker than, say, substance addiction, or unresolved cancer?

[Gem 10]

5 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

AJ, like most people (especially men) who have emotional/personality diseases and conditions, knows full well that he isn't "normal" emotionally. It terrifies him. But of course, AJ has abnormal anxiety issues, and when that anxiety bubbles to the top, he acts angry. Maybe because it's more socially acceptable for men to get angry than panicked --I don't know. Maybe he also has a deep pool of unresolved rage inside him. That's why he needs to get a bunch of psych testing done before some hack decides to treat him for something that may not be AJ's real problem at all.

I have a question for all of you. Do you think mental illness (which may actually be treatable with medication) is a bigger deal-breaker than, say, substance addiction, or unresolved cancer?

No.  And who are we to say he is mental?  I see he’s loud, nervous, jumps the gun, etc. but a lot of people are like that. Maybe he just needs a mood stablizer or something or Prozac.  I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think he’s that bad that she should leave him.  To tell the truth, I don’t think he was that bad on the swing when he refused the interview.  He expressed his opinion and that was that.  We all know that some therapists are nuts.  I know for sure because I have a female PHD in my family and she has many problems of her own.

[lids]

5 hours ago, Lusterleaf said:

I really think production should have done the right thing and let Kate leave the show. I don't get why Pastor Cal encouraged them to stay together after hearing what Luke said to Kate. I don't think there's any coming back from that. I know they are under contract but in a case like this, they should reconsider vs. having Kate stick it out with him because he clearly doesn't want to be anywhere near her.

See, I think production/the experts were trying to get Kate to end it. PasCal gave her multiple opportunities to make a case for why the marriage could not continue. When he asked her what Luke said after they kissed, she downplayed it. Finally he asked what exactly did Luke say. Only then did she admit the abusive speech. When he asked her if Luke had said anything else that was offensive, she lied and said no and that everything else was great. She is clearly in denial. As mentioned, later when PasCal was counseling them both and he said attraction can grow, Kate chirped in on her own accord that she was already there...It’s just mind boggling. Luke was playing the whole changed man role, so PasCal said ok.

The thing about being a counselor (and I know the show personalities are “counselors” in the loosest sense), you’re not supposed to cajole anyone into doing anything unless they are hurting themselves. If PasCal has made the executive decision to remove Kate from the situation, Kate is the type of person to always wonder if she had been ripped from her soul mate. She’s estranged from her father and appears to have abandonment issues. Letting her play out this sad situation to the best of her ability may give her closure.

I actually think that since this humiliating experience was televised, it’s gonna be more helpful for Kate. Sometimes when you “see” yourself being treated badly, you realize you deserve better. Judging by the fact that Kate has another ex-boyfriend who just did an AMA on Reddit and he also showed a total lack of respect for her, I don’t think Kate realized she was in a cycle where she allowed men to disrespect her. Hopefully seeing this play out and feeling the support from the fans will make her reevaluate her self-worth.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

I asked, "Do you think mental illness (which may actually be treatable with medication) is a bigger deal-breaker than, say, substance addiction, or unresolved cancer? 

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

No.  And who are we to say he is mental?  I see he’s loud, nervous, jumps the gun, etc. but a lot of people are like that. Maybe he just needs a mood stablizer or something or Prozac.  I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think he’s that bad that she should leave him.  To tell the truth, I don’t think he was that bad on the swing when he refused the interview.  He expressed his opinion and that was that.  We all know that some therapists are nuts.  I know for sure because I have a female PHD in my family and she has many problems of her own.

We are rather ordinary people, for the most part, who have observed AJ's nervousness and excessive sweating, his making lots of weird anxious sounds, noticed his declaration that the one thing about marriage he can count on is that he won't have to eat alone. Etc.  

Now we are seeing some aggressive verbal behavior from him --a short temper sometimes, a guy who gets 'jumpy', seems easily frustrated, and didn't want to do "homework" on his honeymoon so he snapped at that 'production' woman. 

We are the sort of people who observe, and then think about what we observe. It really doesn't take a Ph.D or any kind of 'expert' to recognize erratic behavior, or to realize that what we've observed is hurting AJ's relationship with the woman he said he's smitten with, his new "Sexy A.F. Wife".  We are qualified to compare A.J. with other people we've known that seem to have anxiety sometimes (or with people who can be especially short-tempered, or who seem to get frustrated easily). 

And we all probably feel some kind of way about it. 

Edited February 2, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Lily247]

On 1/30/2019 at 8:31 AM, Cammi said:

So Jasmine fancies herself a trophy wife? And imho, she is more into Will than he is her. But he pulls it of so much better than Luke. Will actually IS being a gentleman and giving himself time for attraction to grow. I do not believe he is genuinely attracted to her. Perhaps he might have been before her "Traditional roles" speech, but I think after that talk, he is proceeding cautiously. He is doing it very classy though!

Look I'm just going to say it, Luke thinks Kate is a "basic bitch". Not saying she is, and I think what I have seen so far, she is a total sweetheart, However, when asked her interests or hobbies her answer was "Eating out on weekends with my friends". That isn't exactly a hobby per se. I think Luke likes the attention dating other cultures brings him and his answer of "Thank you" was telling when Pastor Cal remarked he was like the United Nations or something (can't remember exactly). It was an just odd response imo. 

I think that Luke is the definition of pretentious, who would of course find that Kate is not adequate in personality or that she is not "deep: because she doesnt spend her weekends hiking in remote jungles or whatever. I can already tell who his type is, I work in healthcare and most of the girls I work with fit this mold: equally pretentious, perfectionist, schedule-driven but claiming to be a free spirit who hikes mountains, eats salad for lunch and carries a water tumbler everywhere, takes a yoga class, etc. And calls themselves deep thinkers. 

Kate is totally sweet and vulnerable and sincere. Unfortunately I dont think that she is his type in any way but mostly her weight and her possibly low energy vibe (which I only catch from her voice). Its too bad because she is totally beautiful and would make a different kind of guy really happy.

I think that Jasmine needs to stop getting so comfortable with her brand new husband. Obviously the "experts" f****d up here and paired a traditionalist woman with a modern guy who disagree on basic fundamental aspects of what they want from marriage. Jasmine wants a breadwinner and Will wants everything 50/50. While I would love to tell these people that they should go be with partners who feel similarly, I cannot imagine there is a large pool of men out there raising their hands to be picked as someone's breadwinner, especially a stranger's breadwinner. There are DEFINITELY families who live like this. But it usually happens after years of dating then choosing to marry that person,  having finance talks, marriage then children, wife stays home a few years yada yada. Jasmine needs to slow her breaks because she is looking very selfish and demanding by saying to her brand new husban. that even though she makes.more money, he should pay more bills. I mentioned this a few seasons ago but I also feel that there is a shortage of black men who qign up to participate in the show; and so therefore if a black woman requests a black man, it must be some kind of slim pickings because of how obviously mismatched these 2 are. 

Also, I was pretty rubbed off the way she got angry about finding hairs on the mud brush and stewing about it in a corner while everyone else was having fun in the water. What is she, 5 ? If she was grossed out, then... dont use the brush ???

[LennieBriscoe]

Lukewarm from the git-go looked at Kate as  "The dumb blonde who doesn't remember me. Like, are you KIDDING?!" THAT is what "repulsed" him,  made him "feel dead inside."

But he waited and gaslighted, smiling until he had the moment, their first kiss, when his cruelty would be so wounding, so humiliating, that Kate would keep it to herself.

But she didn't. Kate abased herself to reveal Lukewarm's carefully concealed persona. Then HE got to experience the disgust of another, as his face turned beet-red at the words of Pastor Cal.

No,  there is no "Kate hate" here.  There is bemusement,  pity,  frustration, sadness, perhaps even indifference. 

But I don't think anyone "hates" this trusting and hopeful young woman who was matched with a conceited, doofus-haired hipster. 

Lukewarm's "spirit animal" isn't the sloth; it is the viper. 

[Gem 10]

48 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

I think that Luke is the definition of pretentious, who would of course find that Kate is not adequate in personality or that she is not "deep: because she doesnt spend her weekends hiking in remote jungles or whatever. I can already tell who his type is, I work in healthcare and most of the girls I work with fit this mold: equally pretentious, perfectionist, schedule-driven but claiming to be a free spirit who hikes mountains, eats salad for lunch and carries a water tumbler everywhere, takes a yoga class, etc. And calls themselves deep thinkers. 

Kate is totally sweet and vulnerable and sincere. Unfortunately I dont think that she is his type in any way but mostly her weight and her possibly low energy vibe (which I only catch from her voice). Its too bad because she is totally beautiful and would make a different kind of guy really happy.

I think that Jasmine needs to stop getting so comfortable with her brand new husband. Obviously the "experts" f****d up here and paired a traditionalist woman with a modern guy who disagree on basic fundamental aspects of what they want from marriage. Jasmine wants a breadwinner and Will wants everything 50/50. While I would love to tell these people that they should go be with partners who feel similarly, I cannot imagine there is a large pool of men out there raising their hands to be picked as someone's breadwinner, especially a stranger's breadwinner. There are DEFINITELY families who live like this. But it usually happens after years of dating then choosing to marry that person,  having finance talks, marriage then children, wife stays home a few years yada yada. Jasmine needs to slow her breaks because she is looking very selfish and demanding by saying to her brand new husban. that even though she makes.more money, he should pay more bills. I mentioned this a few seasons ago but I also feel that there is a shortage of black men who qign up to participate in the show; and so therefore if a black woman requests a black man, it must be some kind of slim pickings because of how obviously mismatched these 2 are. 

Also, I was pretty rubbed off the way she got angry about finding hairs on the mud brush and stewing about it in a corner while everyone else was having fun in the water. What is she, 5 ? If she was grossed out, then... dont use the brush ???

  I can also see her giving Will instructions in the bedroom ...IF they ever have sex, which it doesn’t look like.  She is too rigid in many ways and doesn’t go with the flow.  She’s making googley eyes at him in the bed and he says he’s tired and goes to sleep.  What the hell is that?   And, she could have put the mud on Will with her hands.  He looked disappointed.  Everything has to go her way.  Maybe her father and brother spoiled her.

[Gem 10]

11 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Lukewarm from the git-go looked at Kate as  "The dumb blonde who doesn't remember me. Like, are you KIDDING?!" THAT is what "repulsed" him,  made him "feel dead inside."

But he waited and gaslighted, smiling until he had the moment, their first kiss, when his cruelty would be so wounding, so humiliating, that Kate would keep it to herself.

But she didn't. Kate abased herself to reveal Lukewarm's carefully concealed persona. Then HE got to experience the disgust of another, as his face turned beet-red at the words of Pastor Cal.

No,  there is no "Kate hate" here.  There is bemusement,  pity,  frustration, sadness, perhaps even indifference. 

But I don't think anyone "hates" this trusting and hopeful young woman who was matched with a conceited, doofus-haired hipster. 

Lukewarm's "spirit animal" isn't the sloth; it is the viper. 

WOW .. You hit the nails on the head.

[SabineElisabeth]

7 hours ago, Empress1 said:

True. My best friend bought her wedding dress from Kleinfeld's, which is the shop featured on Say Yes to the Dress. They had similar "we film a reality show here, so if you're here and there are cameras, you might be on camera" signs up - but you have to apply to be featured on the show, and go through whatever the process is and sign the contract. Those signs just mean "hey, if you see yourself in the background while you're flipping through channels one day, this is why." (My friend did not and would not have applied to do the show and if she had, honestly no one in her bridal party, including me, would have gone on it with her, especially her mother.)

I feel like in 2019, there's enough out there about how the reality TV sausage is made that people who do it have the option to make an informed choice about whether the risks outweigh the rewards. 

There's actually a show (scripted drama) called UnReal, which is all about the producers of a reality tv show.  They explore the manipulation of the participants by the producers at length, how it affects the participants, how it affects the producers, etc.  Rather fascinating show, I thought.

Reality tv has been around in force for what, 20 years or so now??  Is it possible to be in the MAFS age group and not have had some exposure to/awareness of a reality tv show participant getting the "hate edit?"  Or complaining about his/her edit?  If you then still decide to go on a reality tv show, it's mind boggling that you wouldn't then do some research beyond what you've just picked up over the years, specifically some research on the show you're considering.  Further mind boggling is that you could spend 5 minutes doing a Google search for MAFS and not see what a shit show it is for many participants' reputations, emotional health, and so on (whether that be due to bad edits, producer manipulation, the participant just being a shit, another participant being a shit to said person, whatever).

If you then decide that whilst this has happened over and over and over to former participants, on the exact same show for which you're about sign up, you're the one most special of all special snowflakes and sign up for the show anyway.... Well, you're probably about to experience a tough life lesson, and experiencing it is apparently the only way you're going to believe it and learn it.  Not at all saying that I think it's edifying for a tv show to purposefully go about trying to exploit someone, (entertaining, yes, usually, but not edifying). But, it's SO easy to avoid it.  Don't apply for be on a reality tv show.  Don't be a fame whore.  Use one of the eleventy billion other ways that exist to meet a potential mate.  And if you just must be set up, well, there are matchmaking services.  A lot of them.  In fact, there happens to be one in the office building adjacent to the one in which I work, and it's always kind of fun to see people getting their profile pics made in the courtyard the buildings share.  ;-)

Compelling reasons and circumstances exist, certainly, for society to protect people from themselves and/or from others, but adults have to be expected to show a reasonable amount of discernment and put forth a reasonable amount of effort to limit harm to themselves.  Personal responsibility is a thing, and expecting people to have it isn't at all the same thing as blaming them, IMHO.

ETA:  Abuse is never okay, to be clear.  And it's totally possible to have empathy for someone who has a bad experience with the producers on a tv show without also thinking they should have had their ability to make their own decisions taken away.  As for Kate, I don't think she's in any danger whatsoever of getting a bad edit, and I honestly would have been surprised if she'd gotten one even if she'd left, as I find "dead and repulsed" a much more compelling story line than the played out contestant who was "there for the wrong reasons," didn't "trust the process" and gave up without giving it a chance, blah blah blah.

Edited February 2, 2019 by SabineElisabeth

[athousandclowns]

1 hour ago, lids said:

 

I actually think that since this humiliating experience was televised, it’s gonna be more helpful for Kate. Sometimes when you “see” yourself being treated badly, you realize you deserve better. Judging by the fact that Kate has another ex-boyfriend who just did an AMA on Reddit and he also showed a total lack of respect for her, I don’t think Kate realized she was in a cycle where she allowed men to disrespect her. Hopefully seeing this play out and feeling the support from the fans will make her reevaluate her self-worth.

I feel Kate has been acting like she’s beaten down. It was awkward and uncomfortable from the get go and I think Luke was not going to budge in being pleasant to her unless the camera was on.  When he said he felt pressured to kiss her and alcohol was involved,  I took that as  she had had indulged and made a move on him. If he had overendulged there wouldn’t be pressure that  I’ve thought way too much about how many days had passed and he  always “takes things slowly”

 In my dating years back in the horse and buggy days yeah I was attracted to dark haired tall men but unless it was Quasimodo I could kiss the stranger I signed up to marry on a reality show after 9 days.  I’d like to see the receipts on the list of the United nation women he claims to have had realonships with.  Maybe Kate didn’t think they would let her leave or didn’t dawn on her it was abuse until pastor told her. Was  it 2 seasons ago a wife was arrested trying to board the honeymoon flight plane and he stuck around?  Luke’s house wasn’t shown was it? 

I think Stephanie's eyebrows make her look harsh. 

[qtpye]

10 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Lukewarm from the git-go looked at Kate as  "The dumb blonde who doesn't remember me. Like, are you KIDDING?!" THAT is what "repulsed" him,  made him "feel dead inside."

But he waited and gaslighted, smiling until he had the moment, their first kiss, when his cruelty would be so wounding, so humiliating, that Kate would keep it to herself.

But she didn't. Kate abased herself to reveal Lukewarm's carefully concealed persona. Then HE got to experience the disgust of another, as his face turned beet-red at the words of Pastor Cal.

No,  there is no "Kate hate" here.  There is bemusement,  pity,  frustration, sadness, perhaps even indifference. 

But I don't think anyone "hates" this trusting and hopeful young woman who was matched with a conceited, doofus-haired hipster. 

Lukewarm's "spirit animal" isn't the sloth; it is the viper. 

 

8 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

I feel Kate has been acting like she’s beaten down. It was awkward and uncomfortable from the get go and I think Luke was not going to budge in being pleasant to her unless the camera was on.  When he said he felt pressured to kiss her and alcohol was involved,  I took that as  she had had indulged and made a move on him. If he had overendulged there wouldn’t be pressure that  I’ve thought way too much about how many days had passed and he  always “takes things slowly”

 In my dating years back in the horse and buggy days yeah I was attracted to dark haired tall men but unless it was Quasimodo I could kiss the stranger I signed up to marry on a reality show after 9 days.  I’d like to see the receipts on the list of the United nation women he claims to have had realonships with.  Maybe Kate didn’t think they would let her leave or didn’t dawn on her it was abuse until pastor told her. Was  it 2 seasons ago a wife was arrested trying to board the honeymoon flight plane and he stuck around?  Luke’s house wasn’t shown was it? 

I think Stephanie's eyebrows make her look harsh. 

I remember a scene where Luke was filming in bed an then Kate jumped in the frame almost slightly snuggling with him. I swear if the camera had not been on he might of had a reflex reaction of swatting her away or at least moving away abruptly.  

I kind of hate the way Kate does seem to be so attracted to him. In a perfect world she would say “Well, it’s obvious you are not interested in me and we should part ways” and then leave with her dignity in tact. However, human beings are far from perfect.

Luke is now forced to be nice to her off camera and it will make him resent her even more. I wish she would have the self respect to walk away but unfortunately she really does seem to like the guy.

[Gem 10]

On 2/1/2019 at 2:58 AM, Jack Sampson said:

She wants Will to be dominant only when it suits her...meaning she wants to maintain control, even over the way he's allowed to be a man.

She's trying to be strong and independent while pretending to be traditional and submissive.  It never works, true colors come out.

Telling a man to man-up is just a shaming technique.  She's not encouraging him to be more of her version of manhood, she's nagging him - even mocking him.  Despite what she claims, she doesn't want a traditional marriage.  And telling Cal that she'd gladly be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen was a complete lie.  I'm sure she wants kids, but Jas would freak out if Will told her to go make him a sandwich.

This is one mixed up woman.  She’s so adventureous that she barely knew how to operate the ATV and went into the bushes.  Then she blames him for not being the protector to save her and get her out.  She’s trying to always get one up on him.  Now, she wants sex.  If he does comply and it isn’t good, she will berate him somehow and make it his fault.  I may be wrong, but I think he’s just biding his time.

[qtpye]

2 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

This is one mixed up woman.  She’s so adventureous that she barely knew how to operate the ATV and went into the bushes.  Then she blames him for not being the protector to save her and get her out.  She’s trying to always get one up on him.  Now, she wants sex.  If he does comply and it isn’t good, she will berate him somehow and make it his fault.  I may be wrong, but I think he’s just biding his time.

I know Jas said that she wanted to split the bills  with Will paying more but I was wondering what people on the board would think of a woman or a man who frankly did not want to work but  take care of the home and take care of the kids?

I am woman of color and I have worked since I was 17. I still work full time even though I am married and have two young children. However, I know some housewives and are aware they work very hard. I would not have a problem with a with a man who took up those duities  even though my husband also works full time.

I know in today’s society where many marriages do not last long it is not a good idea to be 100 percent financially dependent on someone else. However, I do think there is a school of thought where housewives and husbands are thought of as less than or freeloaders. I know the care giving roles were mostly done by women and therefore not as respected as someone who earns paycheck,

[Lily247]

12 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

This is one mixed up woman.  She’s so adventureous that she barely knew how to operate the ATV and went into the bushes.  Then she blames him for not being the protector to save her and get her out.  She’s trying to always get one up on him.  Now, she wants sex.  If he does comply and it isn’t good, she will berate him somehow and make it his fault.  I may be wrong, but I think he’s just biding his time.

They will not make it 100%. She isn't relationship material. There is nothing sexier and like making a man feel like a man than berating him to protect her, berating him to pay more bills, berating him to have sex with her ..... 

Also, why was Will picked ? Like, why ? Lives with grandma and has no life skills besides his low-paid job. And i am starting to suspect yet again, that unfortunately the black couples on this show tend to be unbelievably mismatched due to not enough male participants. 

I cant remember her name, the 35 year old with AJ, but if she were a little younger I think she would 100% be Luke's type. I wish that Luke had told Kate at the altar that she was beautiful (if he did, I missed it) and showed some more enthusiasm just because I felt bad for her. Kind of like how Tre went crazy when he saw Vanessa come down the aisle in the Atlanta season and proposed to her in front of everyone (even though he turned out to be kind of a jerk at the end). 

[Lily247]

8 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I know Jas said that she wanted to split the bills  with Will paying more but I was wondering what people on the board would think of a woman or a man who frankly did not want to work but  take care of the home and take care of the kids?

I am woman of color and I have worked since I was 17. I still work full time even though I am married and have two young children. However, I know some housewives and are aware they work very hard. I would not have a problem with a with a man who took up those duities  even though my husband also works full time.

I know in today’s society where many marriages do not last long it is not a good idea to be 100 percent financially dependent on someone else. However, I do think there is a school of thought where housewives and husbands are thought of as less than or freeloaders. I know the care giving roles were mostly done by women and therefore not as respected as someone who earns paycheck,

That is absolutely correct, UNFORTUNATELY in todays society if a mother is not working then very often working moms will turn their nose at them. Hence why there are so many bullshit MLM businesses out there for theae SAHMs who want to try to contribute financially. I don't think it is realistic to marry a stranger and expect tthem to be your breadwinner. Situations like that usually happen after years of dating marriage financial talks babies etc. Therr are many many men nowadays who are "evolved thinkers" and will not marry a woman who is not job-oriented or making a certain income bracket. However, this is just a woman's lot nowadays. 

[aphroditewitch]

14 hours ago, SabineElisabeth said:

There's actually a show (scripted drama) called UnReal, which is all about the producers of a reality tv show.  They explore the manipulation of the participants by the producers at length, how it affects the participants, how it affects the producers, etc.  Rather fascinating show, I thought.

Reality tv has been around in force for what, 20 years or so now??  Is it possible to be in the MAFS age group and not have had some exposure to/awareness of a reality tv show participant getting the "hate edit?"  Or complaining about his/her edit?  If you then still decide to go on a reality tv show, it's mind boggling that you wouldn't then do some research beyond what you've just picked up over the years, specifically some research on the show you're considering.  Further mind boggling is that you could spend 5 minutes doing a Google search for MAFS and not see what a shit show it is for many participants' reputations, emotional health, and so on (whether that be due to bad edits, producer manipulation, the participant just being a shit, another participant being a shit to said person, whatever).

If you then decide that whilst this has happened over and over and over to former participants, on the exact same show for which you're about sign up, you're the one most special of all special snowflakes and sign up for the show anyway.... Well, you're probably about to experience a tough life lesson, and experiencing it is apparently the only way you're going to believe it and learn it.  Not at all saying that I think it's edifying for a tv show to purposefully go about trying to exploit someone, (entertaining, yes, usually, but not edifying). But, it's SO easy to avoid it.  Don't apply for be on a reality tv show.  Don't be a fame whore.  Use one of the eleventy billion other ways that exist to meet a potential mate.  And if you just must be set up, well, there are matchmaking services.  A lot of them.  In fact, there happens to be one in the office building adjacent to the one in which I work, and it's always kind of fun to see people getting their profile pics made in the courtyard the buildings share.  ;-)

 

 

Reality TV has actually been around for over 40 years if you count things  like An American Family. 

I think it is important to remember that many of the people for these shows are recruited and don't apply outright to be on the show. I think this is significant because I think it gives the impression that the show wants the person specifically and that person will get better treatment as a result. Not that that will ever really happen but the impression is there.  There is also the fact that most people who go on a reality show have a rather uneventful experience overall and don't need to worry much about a bad edit. And I would even argue that most MAFS alum went through relatively unscathed in terms of their own appearance on the show. Season 1 really didn't have a true villain, IMO.  Davina in season 2 was given a needlessly harsh edit but I think that season was so notoriously bad in terms of all men having issues that should have disqualified them, that Davina and the other women were vindicated in the end. 

It is incredibly important to highlight that people have a tendency to think that they are the exception. So while it is easy to say, well you should have done your research, that doesn't mean much to people who genuinely think they can be an exception. And of course there is the real thing the MAFS has going for it.  While MAFS is a shitshow, it is a shitshow that can tout about a handful marriages over the first 7 seasons that have lasted for several years and  four of the couples have either had a baby or are about to have a baby with the person they married on the show. That is a powerful thing that MAFS has going for it in terms getting people to agree to sign on for the process. 

Yes, people who want to find a relationship can sign up for various other methods. And most of them probably won't go through this nonsense. Yes, they will weed through bots, scammers, criminals, cheaters, jerks, etc. But most won't have it put out in the media unless they are the unlucky person who finds a Dirty John type match. 

Edited February 2, 2019 by aphroditewitch

[Empress1]

24 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I know Jas said that she wanted to split the bills  with Will paying more but I was wondering what people on the board would think of a woman or a man who frankly did not want to work but  take care of the home and take care of the kids?

I would never stay home (I need to earn my own money), but I think it's fine in general if it works for the couple. I know several women who support their families and the husbands are home. I'm not sure if I would be OK with being the sole breadwinner in my own marriage; I was raised in a dual-income household with two white-collar parents and that's always what I've envisioned for myself. I do think, though, that within the context of this show, it's not reasonable to expect a stranger to support you. I could never do this show for many reasons, but one of the biggest ones is that I wouldn't be interested in mixing my money with a complete stranger right out of the gate and possibly having him mess up my credit rating. (This set of couples doesn't even need to mix their money during the 8 weeks because the housing is covered by the show - it's not like they're paying rent on these places out of their combined funds. They're playing house.) Like, I'm going to pay off a stranger's credit card debt? For what?

22 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

That is absolutely correct, UNFORTUNATELY in todays society if a mother is not working then very often working moms will turn their nose at them.

The reverse is true too, though. Remember Bobby's mother and sister? They weren't here for a woman working; they seemed to be of the school of thought that a mother who worked wasn't actually raising her kids. Really, people just need to mind their own business when it comes to other peoples' family matters.

[Ohwell]

1 hour ago, Lily247 said:

Also, why was Will picked ? Like, why ? Lives with grandma and has no life skills besides his low-paid job.

It's Keith who lives with his grandma.   Will has his own place.