S11.E11: A Mother’s Love

[announcergirl]

TBA

[Bronzedog]

I wonder if Porsha is going to have problems scheduling fart time with a newborn.

[Sheenieb]

This episode would've been great if Mama Joyce didn't show up. She needs to slither back into the sewer with Pennywise. All these years later and she's still a nasty bitch. And she's unsupportive, too! Missing Kandi's awards ceremony for nothing. She wasn't sick. Was Todd implying that MJ would tell Kandi that she was canceling her flight (I'm assuming for her trip), Kandi would think MJ was coming to her event, but MJ didn't show up? Todd is truly a class act for dealing with that woman. 

Aw, poor Noelle. I hope that she's thriving in college. She was always a bright young woman, so I'm sure she's OK. I was a commuter student during my college years, but I do remember being nervous AF my first day. The college jitters are real, so I felt for her. Cynthia and Leon did a great job.  Though I will say that it shows how problematic it is when you do ev-er-y-thing for your kid. I think the wisest approach to parenting is to give your children equal parts love and independence. 

Eva needed to pick a trusted friend to dress shop with. Her mama showed her ass, now NeNe inviting Marlo, which, really, NeNe? You're bringing a plus one and didn't even bother to ask the damn bride if that was OK? I can't.

 

Both of NeNe's sons are lazy as shit. I thought there might've been hope for Brentt, but I was wrong.

[CrinkleCutCat]

When your child is melting down and wants all of the gathered friends and family to leave.... nope.... you dry their tears and remind them that everyone has made an effort to visit them for a send off and they need to buck up and go spend time with them. That would then be teaching your child a lifelong lesson about focusing on other people instead of yourself and going back to bed in tears.

[DrSparkles]

5 hours ago, Sheenieb said:

This episode would've been great if Mama Joyce didn't show up. She needs to slither back into the sewer with Pennywise. All these years later and she's still a nasty bitch. And she's unsupportive, too! Missing Kandi's awards ceremony for nothing. She wasn't sick. Was Todd implying that MJ would tell Kandi that she was canceling her flight (I'm assuming for her trip), Kandi would think MJ was coming to her event, but MJ didn't show up? Todd is truly a class act for dealing with that woman. 

Aw, poor Noelle. I hope that she's thriving in college. She was always a bright young woman, so I'm sure she's OK. I was a commuter student during my college years, but I do remember being nervous AF my first day. The college jitters are real, so I felt for her. Cynthia and Leon did a great job.  Though I will say that it shows how problematic it is when you do ev-er-y-thing for your kid. I think the wisest approach to parenting is to give your children equal parts love and independence. 

Eva needed to pick a trusted friend to dress shop with. Her mama showed her ass, now NeNe inviting Marlo, which, really, NeNe? You're bringing a plus one and didn't even bother to ask the damn bride if that was OK? I can't.

 

Both of NeNe's sons are lazy as shit. I thought there might've been hope for Brentt, but I was wrong.

I HATE mama Joyce. I ff thru all of Kandi’s scenes to avoid Joyce.

i do hope Greg’s sons saw through his bullshit about being healed, otherwise they’re in for a yuge surprise in the near future. I also hope they go in for their colonoscopies ASAP, due to family hx.

I looooove Leon & Noelle looks just like Cynthia, lucky her!! Leon put the good sense hammer down!

Anyone know what part of town Shamari lives in?

Edited December 31, 2018 by DrSparkles

[Mr. Miner]

I hate MJ, Don Juan and Nene!

Cynthia was going to send food home with her guests...grapes and saltines?

[Empress1]

7 hours ago, Sheenieb said:

Though I will say that it shows how problematic it is when you do ev-er-y-thing for your kid. I think the wisest approach to parenting is to give your children equal parts love and independence. 

I agree. An 18-year-old should know how to do her own laundry. I remember teaching a friend to do laundry in the first couple weeks of college - he was an only child of a stay-at-home Italian mother. She tended to his & his father's every whim. To his credit, he didn't expect anyone to take care of him in college, but he got there not knowing how to do ANYTHING domestic. (He also got a girlfriend pretty early on who was like, respect to your mother but I'm not about to do your laundry, so ...)

Cynthia should have told her to dry her tears, fix her face (that's what my mother would have said) and come downstairs to be with the people who had taken time out of their days to celebrate with her.

I had no idea Greg had that many damn kids! That's what, 6 sons (not counting Nene's son)? Jesus.

Mama Joyce continues to suck. Good for Todd for being like, I don't need to spend time with a woman who STILL talks shit about me years later.

Ace is adorable. "Meemaw, we're drinking water!"

[ZaldamoWilder]

6 hours ago, Sheenieb said:

This episode would've been great if Mama Joyce didn't show up. She needs to slither back into the sewer with Pennywise. All these years later and she's still a nasty bitch. And she's unsupportive, too! Missing Kandi's awards ceremony for nothing. She wasn't sick. Was Todd implying that MJ would tell Kandi that she was canceling her flight (I'm assuming for her trip), Kandi would think MJ was coming to her event, but MJ didn't show up? Todd is truly a class act for dealing with that woman. 

Aw, poor Noelle. I hope that she's thriving in college. She was always a bright young woman, so I'm sure she's OK. I was a commuter student during my college years, but I do remember being nervous AF my first day. The college jitters are real, so I felt for her. Cynthia and Leon did a great job.  Though I will say that it shows how problematic it is when you do ev-er-y-thing for your kid. I think the wisest approach to parenting is to give your children equal parts love and independence. 

Eva needed to pick a trusted friend to dress shop with. Her mama showed her ass, now NeNe inviting Marlo, which, really, NeNe? You're bringing a plus one and didn't even bother to ask the damn bride if that was OK? I can't.

 

Both of NeNe's sons are lazy as shit. I thought there might've been hope for Brentt, but I was wrong.

Intentional and passive aggressive.   A plus one who's not only not a friend of the bride, but struggle shades her every time she gets the chance.    Nene and Marlo look like a couple tired old haters for that shit.  Talmbout my request is that you drop 10.  Bitch, kill yourself, you needed 2 grown women to dragonball Z your ass into a bandage short set last week.    p.s. Marlo, this isn't you're-not-a-mom-shade, it's ignorance correction.  Yes, in fact, 13 weeks and 5 minutes is the same amount of time in terms of uterine snapback.   Your organs don't even know they're alone again till bout 5 weeks later.  That girl got yo body beat five ways from Sunday and just housed a whole person.  

5 hours ago, CrinkleCutCat said:

When your child is melting down and wants all of the gathered friends and family to leave.... nope.... you dry their tears and remind them that everyone has made an effort to visit them for a send off and they need to buck up and go spend time with them. That would then be teaching your child a lifelong lesson about focusing on other people instead of yourself and going back to bed in tears.

So my commuter boo and I were talking about it this morning.  She said what'd you think about that scene particularly.   She doesn't have kids and my only went off to college in September too.  I said honestly, I'm torn.  Lil Wilder had that moment going to high school so I was sympathetic and sniffly and bosom hugging her too.   The kids are upset because they're scared and I think the parents are upset because it's one of the few times in their lives you can't make that better, which means they're growing up, which makes you all subaru commercial weepy.    BUT, I don't know if it's the african in me, the hostess in me or the hammer in me - tell them to go away? 

We live far enough from civilization that we have our own piece of lake, Noelle.  These people, your family and my friends came all the fuck the way out here to wish you bon voyage and give you bosom hugs of their own and tell you you're gonna be fine, so I'mma give you about 35 minutes to take this guut Calgon shower, get your face and pigtails together and bring your ass down to the kitchen upset or not.  I definitely won't win any mom of the year of trophies either because I'dve told her in. that. order.   It's ok to be sad and sentimental - everybody in that house knows what she was going through.  It's not ok to be self absorbedly rude to your guests because you're in your feelings.  Welcome to adulting.      Leon for the wins!   What he say - don't worry just get to school and then have your school experience.  #dassit     What are your options?  Take a gap year that turns into your whole life?  Shoutout to Bryson.  

I gotta give it to Porsha for rewiring herself to be attracted to a whole nother type of dude.   Kordell's surface image was -- mmm - I'll think of the word directly, but Dennis.  Lol.  Where does a grown man find pajamas that double as street wear and actually put that shit on to go out in public?  I was joking when I said it initially but hell maybe he really did think the onesie he opened on his birthday was for him.

Mama Joyce and Kelly Bensimon have the same understanding of lemons and lemonade.   Either way, I'm gone need both of them not to try and analogize anything ever again.   She loves herself some of Todd's baby but still jabbing his father.  Troll.

[RHJunkie]

Noelle didn't even look like she was going to make an effort to even leave her room, what did it matter if there were guests downstairs? I get Cynthia's immediate reaction was to do as requested in order to comfort her child but it seems Noelle's dependence on her is exactly for that reason.  It would have been as good a time as any to tell Noelle that she needs to suck it up, get ready and go downstairs and meet everyone who came over to celebrate her. Being around people and hearing their excitement for her and sharing their own personal stories will help her. And I don't know what Cynthia sent her guests home with...all I saw was some grapes, cheese, chips, salsa, and some cut up hot dogs.  Thank God for Leon, I think he had to take on the responsibility of calming both mother and daughter and I think his presence really helped Cynthia cope and keep it together. I also loved that Leon asked for a to-go bag for their food...it just seems like something I never hear on the RH franchise...maybe because they're often only eating some kind of salad.

Mama Joyce is full of shit and the more we see of her, the more I think that Kandi is really lucky that she's got a man that is willing to put up with that nonsense and respect her relationship with her mother even when her mother does little to earn anyone else's respect, especially his.

I thought Eva looked great in all of the dresses she tried on in this episode and I really liked the last dress especially. Given that I had a positive reaction this episode and no reaction in the last episode of her dress shopping, I'm just gonna say that I liked these dresses better for her. 

[biakbiak]

Is bringing a headboard for your dorm beds a thing now?

Edited December 31, 2018 by biakbiak

[luckyroll3]

2 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Intentional and passive aggressive.   A plus one who's not only not a friend of the bride, but struggle shades her every time she gets the chance.    Nene and Marlo look like a couple tired old haters for that shit.  Talmbout my request is that you drop 10.  Bitch, kill yourself, you needed 2 grown women to dragonball Z your ass into a bandage short set last week.    p.s. Marlo, this isn't you're-not-a-mom-shade, it's ignorance correction.  Yes, in fact, 13 weeks and 5 minutes is the same amount of time in terms of uterine snapback.   Your organs don't even know they're alone again till bout 5 weeks later.  That girl got yo body beat five ways from Sunday and just housed a whole person.  

Oh man, it really bugged me that Nene not only brought Marlo, but didn't ask if she could.  Like you said, Marlo does nothing but say barely-masked, underhanded comments about Eva at every turn.  So you decide to bring her to the girl's wedding dress shopping trip?  And no Eva, Nene did not have your back.  She brought Marlo precisely because she knew Marlo would be Marlo and make rude ass comments and suggestions.  That was passive aggressive payback indeed.  

2 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

What are your options?  Take a gap year that turns into your whole life?  Shoutout to Bryson.  

Did Bryson even apply to college????  When Cynthia started to dial Nene's number after Noelle's breakdown, I said out loud, "I hope she's not calling Nene for advice since she still got both her bum-ass sons at home doing shit."  Cut to the next scene where Nene's begging the younger one to do work......

1 hour ago, RHJunkie said:

Mama Joyce is full of shit

Exactly.  No additional words needed here.  

[TV Diva Queen]

7 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I agree. An 18-year-old should know how to do her own laundry. I remember teaching a friend to do laundry in the first couple weeks of college - he was an only child of a stay-at-home Italian mother. She tended to his & his father's every whim. To his credit, he didn't expect anyone to take care of him in college, but he got there not knowing how to do ANYTHING domestic. (He also got a girlfriend pretty early on who was like, respect to your mother but I'm not about to do your laundry, so ...)

Cynthia should have told her to dry her tears, fix her face (that's what my mother would have said) and come downstairs to be with the people who had taken time out of their days to celebrate with her.

I had no idea Greg had that many damn kids! That's what, 6 sons (not counting Nene's son)? Jesus.

Mama Joyce continues to suck. Good for Todd for being like, I don't need to spend time with a woman who STILL talks shit about me years later.

Ace is adorable. "Meemaw, we're drinking water!"

Italian mom who does the family’s laundry right here. My daughter left for college at 17. Learned laundry the first week. Didn’t bring me any laundry for Thanksgiving or Christmas break. It is what it is. I didn’t do my own laundry until I moved out at 26. Doesn’t make me a lesser person. 

Edited December 31, 2018 by TV Diva Queen

[NowVoyager]

I can't quit you, Nene.

Over the top, 

Blinged out,

Titty city,

Gimme a leg,

Show that booty,

Thump, thump,

Whatchu talmbout

I. Died. Then I was reborn when she called out Marlow:

Bitch eatin cake, sandwiches, ice cream late at night, going to the gas station, potato chips, lollipops...

Even Marlow cracked up!

Happy New Year everybody!!!

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Is being a headboard for your dorm beds a thing now?

I wondered that too! Those beds were nice!

[Misslindsey]

I did hear Cynthia say something about Noelle not having a roommate when they entered her dorm room. I missed what Cynthia said to Noelle in the elevator prior to that about pulling strings for something. Did anyone catch that? At my university just because your roommate was a no show did not mean that you would not get one. Sometimes there were students who got housing late, switched dorm rooms (mostly do to roommate trouble), transferred during the semester, or other circumstances. There was a possibility that one might get a roommate unless they paid for a private room from the start, which was pretty rare at my university.

[biakbiak]

11 minutes ago, Misslindsey said:

missed what Cynthia said to Noelle in the elevator prior to that about pulling strings for something.

More than one key to her room.

[Misslindsey]

1 minute ago, biakbiak said:

More than one key to her room.

Thanks. I knew I missed something, just wasn't sure what it was. 

[appledumpling]

Cynthia mentioned to Noelle by the elevator that she would try to get her an extra room key since they only give you one.  Also, someone running up and down the road to Charlotte to see a boyfriend should not be having a meltdown about going off to college.  I felt the tears were fake.

 

Eva was trying to make it up to Nene for not inviting her to the bachelorette party, so she included her in the dress shopping.

 

Did not miss Mama Joyce at all, I completely forgot about her.  I’m glad to hear she’s traveling with friends.  Although she was sounding a little “koo koo for coco puffs” explaining the lemon analogy.

[Bronzedog]

Shamari must have it in her contract that her creepy little husband appear in every episode.  I can’t stand either one of them.

[Feline Queen]

Eva, here's a suggestion for the third time you go dress shopping - don't take the cameras along, that way you're not obligated to include any of the other housewives. 

Hard to believe Gregg's kids are in their 40s when they're dressing like teenagers. And that is not an attractive bunch. 

I like the relationship between Shamari and her mother and how she gives her credit for working hard to provide for her family. If she's a OB/GYN physicians assistant, she's no dummy. 

Porsha's farting scene was TMI and nobody cares. 

Leon for the win. As usual.

Mama Joyce continues to be foul. Khandi and Todd weren't buying her revisionist story about lemons. She meant it as an insult and should give up trying to backpedal.  

Edited January 1, 2019 by Feline Queen

[lezlers]

On ‎12‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 12:38 AM, CrinkleCutCat said:

When your child is melting down and wants all of the gathered friends and family to leave.... nope.... you dry their tears and remind them that everyone has made an effort to visit them for a send off and they need to buck up and go spend time with them. That would then be teaching your child a lifelong lesson about focusing on other people instead of yourself and going back to bed in tears.

Yeah, that one got some serious side eye from me.  I'm sympathetic to Noelle, I spent the first semester of my freshman year on the phone with my mom begging her to let me come home or switch schools or SOMETHING before I finally met some friends in my dormitory and never looked back, but demanding everyone leave is a bit much.  Cynthia is doing that child no favors by coddling her and giving in to her every demand.   At least she's got Leon to keep her grounded.

I can't believe Nene brought Marlo dress shopping with Eva ESPECIALLY given how much shade Marlo had been throwing towards Eva with respect to fashion.  That's just mean.  Nene can be such a bitch.

[lezlers]

On ‎12‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 9:07 AM, luckyroll3 said:

Oh man, it really bugged me that Nene not only brought Marlo, but didn't ask if she could.  Like you said, Marlo does nothing but say barely-masked, underhanded comments about Eva at every turn.  So you decide to bring her to the girl's wedding dress shopping trip?  And no Eva, Nene did not have your back.  She brought Marlo precisely because she knew Marlo would be Marlo and make rude ass comments and suggestions.  That was passive aggressive payback indeed.  

Did Bryson even apply to college????  When Cynthia started to dial Nene's number after Noelle's breakdown, I said out loud, "I hope she's not calling Nene for advice since she still got both her bum-ass sons at home doing shit."  Cut to the next scene where Nene's begging the younger one to do work......

Exactly.  No additional words needed here.  

Right?  Nene would be the LAST person I would call for parenting advice.  Her boys are fat and lazy.

On ‎12‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 10:40 AM, TV Diva Queen said:

Italian mom who does the family’s laundry right here. My daughter left for college at 17. Learned laundry the first week. Didn’t bring me any laundry for Thanksgiving or Christmas break. It is what it is. I didn’t do my own laundry until I moved out at 26. Doesn’t make me a lesser person. 

I don't think anyone is saying doing your kids' laundry makes you a lesser person.  There is something to be said, however, for ensuring your kid has basic life skills before leaving home like being able to do laundry, cook a meal, pay a bill, ect.   Sending your kid out into the world not knowing how to do any of these basic tasks isn't doing them any favors.  I don't think it's an Italian thing, either.  I'm Italian and I not only did my own laundry growing up, I did my parents as well.

[Petunia13]

I cried when Noelle cried. I was extemely homesick my first year of college. When she broke down on the floor I felt that was a real authentic moment. Also it was very hard for Cynthia in that second. 

[kassa]

Cynthia wasn't calling NeNe for advice, though - she was calling to tell her the party was off and not to come over.

Is Marlo's Balmain Army t-shirt what they sell to people who can't afford/fit into their clothes?

[Empress1]

13 hours ago, lezlers said:

I'm Italian and I not only did my own laundry growing up, I did my parents as well.

I had a friend who sent his laundry out as an adult because his chore growing up was laundry for his family of five (him, parents, two older sisters). He'd had enough of laundry.

10 hours ago, kassa said:

Cynthia wasn't calling NeNe for advice, though - she was calling to tell her the party was off and not to come over.

Yeah. It seemed that way because Nene immediately OFFERED advice, i.e. "Noelle has to go," but Cynthia didn't ask her for it.

[lezlers]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

I had a friend who sent his laundry out as an adult because his chore growing up was laundry for his family of five (him, parents, two older sisters). He'd had enough of laundry.

Yeah. It seemed that way because Nene immediately OFFERED advice, i.e. "Noelle has to go," but Cynthia didn't ask her for it.

At least your friend knows how to do laundry if he ever had to.  ;)

12 hours ago, kassa said:

Cynthia wasn't calling NeNe for advice, though - she was calling to tell her the party was off and not to come over.

Is Marlo's Balmain Army t-shirt what they sell to people who can't afford/fit into their clothes?

So true.  Nene, like Marlo, thinks everyone needs her advice about everything, because her life is so awesome.   I really don't get how Marlo is supposed to be some fashionista.  Every time I see her, she looks like a tacky ol heifer past her prime.  Oh wait, I forgot she's only 42.  :D

[RHJunkie]

On 12/31/2018 at 5:42 PM, appledumpling said:

Cynthia mentioned to Noelle by the elevator that she would try to get her an extra room key since they only give you one.  Also, someone running up and down the road to Charlotte to see a boyfriend should not be having a meltdown about going off to college.  I felt the tears were fake.

 

I wouldn't personally say it's the same kind of experience. I think there was more to do her meltdown. First, we saw her all excited about moving away and already wanting her own apartment in the city...I think Noelle was so excited about college because she was looking at it through rose-tinted glasses - how cool it would be to be going to a prestigious black college, how fun it'll be to decorate her apartment or dorm, how much fun it'll be to attend college parties or to live in a new city. I think the closer she got to moving out, the more she let her mind wander and consider the inevitable realities of college life which are going to challenge Noelle intellectually, psychologically and emotionally and through all of that, she's choosing to move away from the family and friends who she would normally rely on to keep her grounded and sane. They aren't going to be there at a snap of a finger to help cheer her up. I think she just had a moment where she became vulnerable and insecure about whether she was tough enough to deal with all of it.

[kassa]

I hope Noelle had a very active/involved floor community around her.  It's really easy to retreat to a room of your own.  Sometimes a bad roommate is what it takes to get you out with other people.  And a good one brings other people into your life. 

I had forgotten that she's been homeschooled for a few years.  Whatever the genesis of that was, it took from her a lot of the skill set of "every year in school you have new teachers/classes and this won't be that much different." She had to be worried about just walking into a classroom, something most incoming freshmen consider the least of the adjustment.

Edited January 2, 2019 by kassa

[Sheenieb]

I forgot to mention Gregg's claim to his sons that he's been "totally healed." Um, didn't the PA that called weeks ago say that they found cancer cells? If he doesn't get it together, his cancer will metastasize. I hope he has a will drafted. I get more and more annoyed seeing his foolish stance on chemo. 

[lilmarysunshine]

On 12/31/2018 at 4:42 PM, appledumpling said:

Also, someone running up and down the road to Charlotte to see a boyfriend should not be having a meltdown about going off to college.  I felt the tears were fake.

 

That is not the same thing as moving 1,000 miles away from your home and life for school, though. You never know how kids will react. I was shocked by how homesick my own kid was when she went off to college and she was not nearly as far away.  She'd been out of the country without her parents 3 times by then and had traveled out of state with groups before. (And had been doing her own laundry for years. lol ) But she cried for a week leading up to that freshman year. I was shocked and did not expect that at all. So needless to say, my heart went out to both Cynthia and Noelle during those scenes. I think how close they are is sweet. I would much rather see that than those monstrous Keough kids from the OC. lol

Edited January 2, 2019 by lilmarysunshine

[smores]

When I think Italian mom who does everything for her son, I think of Vinnie from Jersey Shore who is in his 30s now (I think?), and still has his mother coming over to his house to do his laundry and cook for him.  I would imagine he can do his own laundry and can cook, as it seems like the guys can cook, but, it's like SHE can't fathom him not having the stuff done for him, so she will roll up and do it until he has a wife to take over for her.  If this is what works for anyone's life, that's totally cool, I actually admire that level of commitment, but, I just know that I couldn't be the wife/mother who did that.  I'm the one (not Italian), who would be yelling back "What?!? Are your arms broken?!" If my adult son (or husband) yelled from another room to go make him a sandwich.  

Back to ATL.  Porsha, just get up from the damn bed and say you have to pee.  Proceed to the bathroom, shut the door.  Fart away.  Problem fucking solved.  

I know that Kandi will never say anything against her mother, but, damn.  I don't know how Todd deals with that.  I also don't understand how Kandi can reconcile her mother treating Todd that way when you know damn well Kandi wouldn't sit back and tolerate being treated that way from a parent of Todd's.  Also, the minute Joyce started talking shit about the father of my child in front of my child who is old enough to understand the words?  I'm out.  Time to pick up the kid and walk out.  I wouldn't put Ace in that position, and if Joyce wants to be around him, she can keep her lemon 'splainin ass in check.  

I'm glad I'm not the only person who was puzzled when Cynthia said that she wanted people to take food home.  I've never seen someone artfully arrange nachos in a single layer on a platter before where they didn't overlap at all.  She had like 8 people there and maybe half a bag of nachos spread over 2 platters.  And then she didn't even have actual pigs in a blanket? She boiled up some hot dogs and got some dinner rolls, cut the hot dogs into chunks and slapped the rolls around the outside of the bowl?  Does she know you can just buy stuff to heat up at Trader Joe's and you don't have to assemble it?  Hell, you can even just get whole platters of things at like Whole Foods, all you have to do is take the packaging off and put things on your own plates and it will be way better.

[kassa]

Another aspect of Noelle's situation that just occurred to me... her mom is really into this new guy.  She moved to Atlanta to be with Peter. This guy is based in LA (I think).  There may have been talk of relocating, especially if Noelle herself was going to be at school and not home.   Which means even "coming home" in future might be a radical change.  At that point she'd have school in DC, a Mom in LA, a Dad in NYC, and a stepdad/boyfriend in Charlotte.  And that means decisions about where to live herself on vacations and eventually permanently. For somebody who's evidently a big homebody, that has to be incredibly daunting.

Is there any reason why the powers that be wouldn't permit Cynthia to transfer to RHoBH?  Except for fear her leaving would damage RHoA. She, Teddy and Kyle might be too mellow a threesome, I suppose.

[Mr. Miner]

16 minutes ago, kassa said:

Is there any reason why the powers that be wouldn't permit Cynthia to transfer to RHoBH?

Is there any reason viewers would want this to happen?

[Empress1]

10 hours ago, smores said:

Also, the minute Joyce started talking shit about the father of my child in front of my child who is old enough to understand the words?  I'm out.  Time to pick up the kid and walk out.  I wouldn't put Ace in that position, and if Joyce wants to be around him, she can keep her lemon 'splainin ass in check.  

And Ace seems to be a bright, sensitive kid. Remember when something happened with Riley's father and she broke down behind closed doors, and you could hear Ace say "RILEY!" out of concern? It won't be long before he understands that Meemaw doesn't like Daddy.

[lezlers]

18 hours ago, smores said:

When I think Italian mom who does everything for her son, I think of Vinnie from Jersey Shore who is in his 30s now (I think?), and still has his mother coming over to his house to do his laundry and cook for him.  I would imagine he can do his own laundry and can cook, as it seems like the guys can cook, but, it's like SHE can't fathom him not having the stuff done for him, so she will roll up and do it until he has a wife to take over for her.  If this is what works for anyone's life, that's totally cool, I actually admire that level of commitment, but, I just know that I couldn't be the wife/mother who did that.  I'm the one (not Italian), who would be yelling back "What?!? Are your arms broken?!" If my adult son (or husband) yelled from another room to go make him a sandwich.  

Back to ATL.  Porsha, just get up from the damn bed and say you have to pee.  Proceed to the bathroom, shut the door.  Fart away.  Problem fucking solved.  

I know that Kandi will never say anything against her mother, but, damn.  I don't know how Todd deals with that.  I also don't understand how Kandi can reconcile her mother treating Todd that way when you know damn well Kandi wouldn't sit back and tolerate being treated that way from a parent of Todd's.  Also, the minute Joyce started talking shit about the father of my child in front of my child who is old enough to understand the words?  I'm out.  Time to pick up the kid and walk out.  I wouldn't put Ace in that position, and if Joyce wants to be around him, she can keep her lemon 'splainin ass in check.  

I'm glad I'm not the only person who was puzzled when Cynthia said that she wanted people to take food home.  I've never seen someone artfully arrange nachos in a single layer on a platter before where they didn't overlap at all.  She had like 8 people there and maybe half a bag of nachos spread over 2 platters.  And then she didn't even have actual pigs in a blanket? She boiled up some hot dogs and got some dinner rolls, cut the hot dogs into chunks and slapped the rolls around the outside of the bowl?  Does she know you can just buy stuff to heat up at Trader Joe's and you don't have to assemble it?  Hell, you can even just get whole platters of things at like Whole Foods, all you have to do is take the packaging off and put things on your own plates and it will be way better.

I mean, come to think of it, we've never really seen Cynthia eat, unless you count the frozen grapes she puts in her gigantic glasses of wine as ice.  So maybe she doesn't know how to actually prepare food for people that eat.  ;)

As for the Italian mom thing, fuck THAT.   If I was dating some dude whose mommy came over to clean and cook for him, I'd be out.   What kind of misogynistic bullshit is THAT?

[Petunia13]

I think some people just don’t respond to change well. As I recall Noelle had a hard time with Peter moving out too. I relate to her on this. Plus her and Cynthia have a very tight bond and it probably just hit her the reality of the situation that for the first time they’d be apart. Howard is very impressive so I also see why it was a bit rude not to suck it up and celebrate with her family and mom’s friends since I’m sure they were proud and wanting to share that moment. 

Marlo really gets on my nerves. 

[ninjago]

On 1/2/2019 at 10:48 PM, smores said:

I know that Kandi will never say anything against her mother, but, damn.   

I kind of wonder what went on early in Kandi's life that makes her feel like she can never check her mother.  She's over 40 years old, has been self supporting for more than 20 years, we've seen her take care of business in very upfront ways, so why does she enable her mother like this?

Also, for real, no snark, who is paying Marlo to sleep with them?

[jumper sage]

On 12/31/2018 at 9:29 AM, Empress1 said:

I agree. An 18-year-old should know how to do her own laundry.

A 10 year old should know how to do laundry and basic housekeeping/cooking.

On 1/3/2019 at 6:49 PM, lezlers said:

As for the Italian mom thing, fuck THAT.   If I was dating some dude whose mommy came over to clean and cook for him, I'd be out.   What kind of misogynistic bullshit is THAT?

We are Italian immigrants and no one acts like that.  Our women have always worked so cooking and such was done by the first adult who got home.

On 1/2/2019 at 1:42 PM, kassa said:

I hope Noelle had a very active/involved floor community around her.  It's really easy to retreat to a room of your own.  Sometimes a bad roommate is what it takes to get you out with other people.  And a good one brings other people into your life. 

I had forgotten that she's been homeschooled for a few years.  Whatever the genesis of that was, it took from her a lot of the skill set of "every year in school you have new teachers/classes and this won't be that much different." She had to be worried about just walking into a classroom, something most incoming freshmen consider the least of the adjustment.

I vowed I would never have a roommate or live in a dorm.  I got an apartment.  Some teens need the structure of the dorms though.  Which segues into the whole homeschooled Noelle for her last 2 years of high school.  What the hell was she thinking?  11th and 12th grade is when most parents let off the leash a bit and have the kid manage the checkbook, run the budgets etc to get them ready for life.  Letting your teen go and stay out later and let them get themselves to school without you waking them up is very important.

Noelle did seem very unready to start college.

[Empress1]

8 hours ago, ninjago said:

I kind of wonder what went on early in Kandi's life that makes her feel like she can never check her mother.  She's over 40 years old, has been self supporting for more than 20 years, we've seen her take care of business in very upfront ways, so why does she enable her mother like this?

Also, for real, no snark, who is paying Marlo to sleep with them?

Marlo brought an older white dude to an event in a previous season and I remember somebody in a talking head was like "So it IS true that Marlo has a rich white sugar daddy." And I remember in that FANTASTIC fight between Sheree and Marlo in South Africa, Sheree tried to come for Marlo for having a sugar daddy and Marlo was like "You want his number? Maybe he can help you finish your house." So I think it's an open secret - like, I don't think she'll go on the reunion talmbout "So my clients are ..." but it appears to be a thing people know about her.

Not only has Kandi been self-supporting, she supports Joyce! Joyce lives in a house Kandi bought her! And on top of that, she's the mother of Joyce's only grandchildren. She holds all the power but doesn't seem to realize it - she could shut all this shit down in five minutes.

[The Mighty Peanut]

Aw, have a heart guys. It doesn't always have to be tough love. I couldn't wait to be out of my parent's house until moving day, when I had a meltdown similar to Noelle's. It's just really overwhelming and I was grieving the fact that things would never be the same. It doesn't mean they did a bad job raising me. Eventually they wiped my tears and sent me on...but not until after a lot of hugs, and 20 years later I don't regret a single embrace.

[jumper sage]

7 minutes ago, The Mighty Peanut said:

Aw, have a heart guys. It doesn't always have to be tough love. I couldn't wait to be out of my parent's house until moving day, when I had a meltdown

I was prepped and ready and did not look back.  I see the point that her mother is now moving across the country.  Her father is not that far off in NYC.  My mid-20s niece said that the tears were for the boyfriend left behind.  [palm smacks head, walks away]

[The Mighty Peanut]

9 hours ago, jumper sage said:

I was prepped and ready and did not look back.  I see the point that her mother is now moving across the country.  Her father is not that far off in NYC.  My mid-20s niece said that the tears were for the boyfriend left behind.  [palm smacks head, walks away]

And you are a total badass, but I don't feel ashamed of needing a few extra mom hugs. They are fortifying!

[kassa]

On 1/3/2019 at 9:53 AM, Mr. Minor said:

Is there any reason viewers would want this to happen?

If Cynthia moves to  LA full time, it would make more sense than pretending to still live in Atlanta. I like her and would want her to stay on my tv however we can keep her. 

[jumper sage]

4 hours ago, The Mighty Peanut said:

And you are a total badass, but I don't feel ashamed of needing a few extra mom hugs. They are fortifying!

Nor should you.  I moved like 20 minutes from my mom's house and believe me I talked to her everyday.  Especially now with facetime or whatever they can still be close.  I am thinking my niece might be right that she did not want to leave her boyfriend.  Now that deserves the proverbial smack - not literal.

When I was in the second semester of 11th grade my mother came up with the idea of "being roommates".  Just like having a roommate, you would let each other know your comings and goings.  By the end of 11th grade I had no curfew, in 11th grade it was 2 am.  I bought my own clothes, she would put food on the table, that us kids cooked, but any incidentals were purchased by the kid.  I liked her open relationship and willingness to discuss issues as an adult.  She let us kids smoke pot at home in the basement since she did not think it was a big deal.  She thought it better than alcohol since both sides of the family had alcoholism running through it.

I did the same with my own kid who is in college now.

Edited January 6, 2019 by jumper sage

[politichick]

I learned yesterday that Noelle goes to the same hair salon that I go to and she is doing just fine. Happy and adjusting well.

[ZaldamoWilder]

On 1/4/2019 at 11:47 AM, ninjago said:

I kind of wonder what went on early in Kandi's life that makes her feel like she can never check her mother.  She's over 40 years old, has been self supporting for more than 20 years, we've seen her take care of business in very upfront ways, so why does she enable her mother like this?

Also, for real, no snark, who is paying Marlo to sleep with them?

Kandi was raised by a gaggle of women, who, from what we've seen?  Put each other first, their respective marriages not so much.  I think the reason we even know this is because the OLG is single.  Kandi's mom, aunts, female cousins, they're all single.   Let me tell it, that's not because the men are unavailable, it's cause they ran em the fuck off with all their bullshit lol.    Aunt (is it Nora? who is OnteeBabyDinosaur?) can't even answer a question without looking like she need to fix her face.   So Kandi's familial expectation was:  we're all you (and each other) got, so get used to making us a priority.   Pushing back against this ideology will get you a whole heap of smoke.  You remember how the OLG went to breaking all the fucking way down on that ski trip once Kandi was like I'm marrying this man and that's that.   Like they actually expected her to suspend her happiness because it was about to disrupt their dysfunctional dynamic.  Anyway, there are a few reasons I think she's unwilling to change their relationship.   She's super uncomfortable with confrontation.  Accountability is ok, but I think when Kandi gets to a certain level in the argument, she'd just rather bail (please see Master royalties for Don't be Tardy for the Party).  Confrontation is one.  Ingratitude is another - Joyce has been brainwashing this girl for years into believing it's Kandi's duty to take care of her whole family in exchange for the sacrifice(s) she made.   You know what that's called?  Motherhood.  Shit, ain't nobody giving out prizes for what you sposed to do.  Well, except Kandi.   What are we on?  #3?  She views checking her mother as disrespectful.  If I may generalize, it's super common with black women.  It's an unwritten rule, you don't talk back to your mom, you don't tell her business, you don't let anybody else talk about her.   Even if all of that happens at your own expense.  Finally I think she knows it wouldn't change anything.   It's easier to learn Mandarin than to get a black momma to change a bad habit.  So #4 is resignation.  She has said flat out on her FB page, I'm not finna check my mama, that's my mama.   Yo. This skipped right over ya girl.  Let a couple of those mortgage payments go missing and see how fast Joyce would learn to operate with boundaries.  

Unattractive, (privately) wealthy and ahem, mature.  You'd be surprised how lonely a demographic that combination is.  Imma be honest, this can't still be a secret.  Even a badly kept one.  Marlo has announced sugaring seminars she held in Atlanta last year.    Answer to your next question is no ya shady heffas lol.  Spending $ runs counter to the lifestyle.  I hear. 

On 1/4/2019 at 7:52 PM, jumper sage said:

A 10 year old should know how to do laundry and basic housekeeping/cooking.

We are Italian immigrants and no one acts like that.  Our women have always worked so cooking and such was done by the first adult who got home.

I vowed I would never have a roommate or live in a dorm.  I got an apartment.  Some teens need the structure of the dorms though.  Which segues into the whole homeschooled Noelle for her last 2 years of high school.  What the hell was she thinking?  11th and 12th grade is when most parents let off the leash a bit and have the kid manage the checkbook, run the budgets etc to get them ready for life.  Letting your teen go and stay out later and let them get themselves to school without you waking them up is very important.

Noelle did seem very unready to start college.

Wayment, Noelle was homeschooled?  Where was I, Lawd?    That covers so much more ground about the emotional upset.  Listen, Lil Wilder goes to school 29 miles from home.  When I say she stalks me we talk more often than we did when she lived at home?  That change must do something to them psychologically.  Sage like you, I was doing #WalendaBackflips when it was time to leave home.   Sheiiiiiiiid.  I was like I might not know how to cook and clean, but dammit I'm here.  I'm here!

 

On 1/5/2019 at 10:09 AM, jumper sage said:

I was prepped and ready and did not look back.  I see the point that her mother is now moving across the country.  Her father is not that far off in NYC.  My mid-20s niece said that the tears were for the boyfriend left behind.  [palm smacks head, walks away]

LMAO!!! girl can you even remember being this young - basing life decisions off of what he finna do?  Ah shit.  Good times.  

[smores]

Am I misremembering or did Kandi also have a sibling who died?  I think that there's a huge combination of that grief, the "we're all we have in this world" attitude with her and Joyce, and a weird sense of entitlement that was pounded into her by Joyce.  Not entitlement for Kandi to be entitled, but, Joyce's entitlement.  I have seen an almost mythical reverence of "the single mother" from some children, and I think there is a lot of that with Kandi.  I'm not for a minute saying I think it's easy to be a single parent, or trying to knock a single parent, so please don't think that, but, what I am saying is that I have met plenty of people who end up with this almost romanticized view of how their single parent went through these struggles and walked through fire to raise them and now they owe every piece of their being to their parent.  And then it turns out that their father was totally around and involved, always paid support and half of the bills, mom was a professional who made a good salary, and the kid didn't want for a thing in their lives.  I'm not trying to diminish anything when it comes to it being challenging to not having both parents there sharing the burden equally, but, the kid has this warped view of Mom eating ramen or skipping meals for 3 days straight just so the child could eat while the mom was working 3 jobs and sleeping 45 mins a night, all so the kid could have the one toy they wanted at Christmas, and so, therefore, the child MUST purchase anything the mother wants now, regardless of the cost to the child, emotionally, financially, etc.  And, the reality was that they were perfectly comfortable and mom can afford to buy the stuff, but is maybe manipulating the child.  I see Joyce this way, Kandi provides her with a perfectly good house to live in, at Kandi's expense.  But, it's not as nice as the new ones Kandi bought for herself and updated, so now Joyce expects that Kandi will pay for renovations on the house Joyce lives in.  Most people would be like, well, I'm more than comfortable, so of course I'd pay for my mom's house (I would), but, renovating the house just because I "got more" than mom did?  That seems a bit much, since it's not like this was a 1957 fixer upper that she got handed.  But, of course, Kandi can't say no, and she can't have her mama living in something that isn't as good as SHE has, so, she remodels it and sends Joyce on a vacation while the changes are made.

[jumper sage]

9 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Wayment, Noelle was homeschooled?  Where was I, Lawd?    That covers so much more ground about the emotional upset.  Listen, Lil Wilder goes to school 29 miles from home.  When I say she stalks me we talk more often than we did when she lived at home?  That change must do something to them psychologically.  Sage like you, I was doing #WalendaBackflips when it was time to leave home.   Sheiiiiiiiid.  I was like I might not know how to cook and clean, but dammit I'm here.  I'm here!

Cynthia mentioned it when they were getting packed for college.

There comes a point when a parent/child relationship should shift to a more adult relationship.  Like you I was thrilled to get out on my own and it immediately changed my mom and I to a more friendly relationship.  I remember when she surprised me with a dinette set (do they still have those?) and a desk we built together.  I could still ring her to discuss issues but she took a different role than she would when I was a mere teen.  I remember my first night in my apartment.  I put my feet on the furniture and then scolded myself that this second hand furniture was all I had.  I ate dessert before my dinner, we rarely even had desert, and felt funny so I hurried up and ate a good meal.  I remember when I was looking at college course book and my high school boyfriend, a great guy, looked at me and told me he didn't believe women should have a college education....................................................well that was that and I went home and really cried with my mother because my heart was broken.  When I saw Noelle crying, I thought of that.

If Noelle, and I don't know this, is truly wondering if her boy friend will be there then she is at a crossroad.  She should move forward with or without him.  My neighbor went to one school, with me and her boyfriend went to another school and then medical school.  They stayed in touch and when he was done with all his medical training he asked her father for permission to ask her to marry him.  They got married and 30 years later are still married with two grown kids and he has a practice and she runs his office.  You can have it all.  I hooked up for the past 22 years with a man who is a tradesman and biker.  You never know where life will lead you.

[ZaldamoWilder]

13 hours ago, smores said:

Am I misremembering or did Kandi also have a sibling who died?  I think that there's a huge combination of that grief, the "we're all we have in this world" attitude with her and Joyce, and a weird sense of entitlement that was pounded into her by Joyce.  Not entitlement for Kandi to be entitled, but, Joyce's entitlement.  I have seen an almost mythical reverence of "the single mother" from some children, and I think there is a lot of that with Kandi.  I'm not for a minute saying I think it's easy to be a single parent, or trying to knock a single parent, so please don't think that, but, what I am saying is that I have met plenty of people who end up with this almost romanticized view of how their single parent went through these struggles and walked through fire to raise them and now they owe every piece of their being to their parent.  And then it turns out that their father was totally around and involved, always paid support and half of the bills, mom was a professional who made a good salary, and the kid didn't want for a thing in their lives.  I'm not trying to diminish anything when it comes to it being challenging to not having both parents there sharing the burden equally, but, the kid has this warped view of Mom eating ramen or skipping meals for 3 days straight just so the child could eat while the mom was working 3 jobs and sleeping 45 mins a night, all so the kid could have the one toy they wanted at Christmas, and so, therefore, the child MUST purchase anything the mother wants now, regardless of the cost to the child, emotionally, financially, etc.  And, the reality was that they were perfectly comfortable and mom can afford to buy the stuff, but is maybe manipulating the child.  I see Joyce this way, Kandi provides her with a perfectly good house to live in, at Kandi's expense.  But, it's not as nice as the new ones Kandi bought for herself and updated, so now Joyce expects that Kandi will pay for renovations on the house Joyce lives in.  Most people would be like, well, I'm more than comfortable, so of course I'd pay for my mom's house (I would), but, renovating the house just because I "got more" than mom did?  That seems a bit much, since it's not like this was a 1957 fixer upper that she got handed.  But, of course, Kandi can't say no, and she can't have her mama living in something that isn't as good as SHE has, so, she remodels it and sends Joyce on a vacation while the changes are made.

Not misremembering.  A brother.  I think he died when she was a teen.

And lol, you're also not misremembering this is also her story.   I don't remember if we heard/saw what Joyce said to Kandi about her father's involvement.  My own impression was it went something like:  your no good piece of shit daddy wasn't around and didn't wanna be.  But the thing is, we did see an episode or two of Kandi and her father trying to mend their relationship.  Whatever Joyce had told her was so deeply ingrained that she couldn't consider the possibility of her father's version of events.   Which was basically that I tried to see you but every time I got the chance your mom and aunts wouldn't let me.   Pretty soon I just gave up.    Now this is where my memory gets hazy but I think Kandi left that meeting believing Joyce wouldnt've done that.    I believed her dad though.  Partly because he didn't blame it all on Joyce, he admitted that he shouldn'tve given up so "easily" (something I think gave Joyce the opportunity to prove her your daddy aint shit point).

The rest I think, is individual.  I'm a single mom.  I don't have the expectation that my kid is my retirement plan.  She has actually said to me when she gets married I need to come live with them.  I haven't mentioned that this isn't really how partnership works, I just smile and nod.   Whatever her reasons, and it's a shame because they don't serve her well, Kandi trained her mom to expect the stuff she does.   Joyce let her boyfriend strip Kandi's last house of the copper pipes.  Like, when I actually think about that, I'm kinda blown as to what's still in this relationship for Kandi.   Oh and that her mama apparently likes crackheadish type dudes so it's ironic that she's constantly criticizing Kandi's choice.    They're kinda perfect.  Joyce won't ever stop expecting and Kandi's never gonna stop giving.  I wish Sharon were still alive.  Her digging at Joyce and watching Kandi sit through it was the only time I enjoyed hearing her name.

[jumper sage]

6 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

nd lol, you're also not misremembering this is also her story.   I don't remember if we heard/saw what Joyce said to Kandi about her father's involvement.  My own impression was it went something like:  your no good piece of shit daddy wasn't around and didn't wanna be.  But the thing is, we did see an episode or two of Kandi and her father trying to mend their relationship.  Whatever Joyce had told her was so deeply ingrained that she couldn't consider the possibility of her father's version of events.   Which was basically that I tried to see you but every time I got the chance your mom and aunts wouldn't let me.   Pretty soon I just gave up.    Now this is where my memory gets hazy but I think Kandi left that meeting believing Joyce wouldnt've done that.    I believed her dad though.  Partly because he didn't blame it all on Joyce, he admitted that he shouldn'tve given up so "easily" (something I think gave Joyce the opportunity to prove her your daddy aint shit point).

I remember the same thing.

@ZaldamoWilder - you can live near your daughter.  Us Italians all live pretty close together.  It is nice to tell the kid to go down the street to grandmas so we can go out.  Cousins in and out, inlaws stopping by to chat and see who made a large dinner lol.