19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[Albanyguy]

Except "beast with two backs," that one's hard to miss.

 

 

Jim Bob would probably tell the kids "That means a camel with two humps!".

[Wellfleet]

We'll know for sure they're reading this board when Michelle suddenly starts quoting Shakespeare. :-)

 

LOL - I think it's how we'll know that the "rapture" is near... Me-chelle Duggar spouting Shakespeare!

[Almost 3000]

My dad used to travel all over for work when we lived on the East Coast, and my Mom could tell specifically where he was by the change in his accent. Maybe it comes more naturally for some than others?

 

Separate note, that poor dog looked entirely freaked out when he went for his bath. I couldn't really tell if he didn't know the Duggars at all or the circumstances were just too weird for him, but I felt bad. I notice the tormented cat that Derick tried to run down with a sled was in there too, so I guess it does in fact belong to the Duggars. I cringed when the little popup said they've had 15 pets over the years of filming. Poor critters. I love animals and that just makes me sad.

Previously TV POP-UP: If the Duggers have had 15 pets in the 10 years that they've been filming it means that they go through one and a half pets a year...

[Meghansmom]

Code switching-very real.  When I am with my Brooklyn/Long Island Eye-talian (as the Duggar's say) family, that accent comes out.  Speaking in a professional setting, I have no discernible accent.  I go to southern states and within a day I am speaking with a drawl.  I am aware of it when it happens but it comes very naturally and I am not forcing it at all.  I think Jessa is just adapting to the way Ben speaks since she is spending most of her time with him now. 

[GEML]

Not defending the Duggars on pets, but our family dog looked traumatized every time she had a bath. Come to think of it, my daughter yells every time I wash her hair. Maybe it's me! ;)

[hlemommy]

Not defending the Duggars on pets, but our family dog looked traumatized every time she had a bath. Come to think of it, my daughter yells every time I wash her hair. Maybe it's me! ;)

Same with my dog. She will be calm for me but anyone else tries washing her and she gets timmed

[Micks Picks]

My dog watched their dog getting a car ride and getting a bath.  He really does watch TV.  I don't know what he was thinking, but he didn't seem overly pleased.

[andromeda331]

The Duggars are famous for twisting facts and circumstances to fit their story or agenda, same thing with their Baby Story.

 

I was going to post in the Jill and Derick thread but this is the more appropriate one. My mother had two deliveries that went horribly wrong so listening to the Duggars padding their stories gets on my nerves. My mother has never bragged about her horrifying experience although she does pray every time a friend or relative is pregnant that they won't go through what she did. The fact they think there's some sort of martyr to nearly dying to bring their baby into the world one of my best friend's cousin died of a brain aneurysm five minutes after the birth of her third child. Dying in childbirth isn't martyr its tragic and terribly sad. Her children grew up without their mother, and she never got to raise them. For those who actually lost wives/mothers/cousins in childbirth its nothing to brag about.

[Jac]

Code switching is very real, and I have no doubt that the Duggars do it, but I also think they really are that stupid at grammar and usage. On the recent episode when they were updating the jurisdictions, Joy's checklist contained a glaring punctuation error--I think the apostophe was missing on a possessive noun--and I can't imagine they'd intentionally send that detail out there when they're the public face of homeschooling.

 

I code switch, not with my accent so much, because Australian accents are determined more by class than geography and there are only three of them (broad Australian, think Steve Irwin and Crocodile Dundee, standard Australian (my accent), it is hard to think of anyone in the international public sphere who has a true standard Australian accent, though it is by far the most common accent in Australia, Jacki Weaver and a young Nicole Kidman are probably closest and received pronunciation, think Geoffrey Rush and Cate Blanchett) but word pronunciation and choice does vary considerably in some geographic areas. The most obvious example is the pronunciation of the word 'castle'. In NSW, where I am from, it is pronounced 'car-sel' but in Victoria, where I have lived for the past eight years, it is pronounced 'cass-el', and I have family from around Newcastle so the word comes up more frequently in conversation than one might otherwise expect, I can code switch to the point where I am relaying information to someone in the same room as me in Victoria while talking to my mum on the phone and pronounce castle 'correctly' for each person without even thinking about it.

 

Cod switching is not, however, an excuse for basic grammatical errors in writing, grammatical errors in speech are more acceptable because some regions have ingrained grammatical errors in their speech patterns but basic grammatical errors in writing are a sign of either a learning disability or lack of education. 

[GEML]

Code switching is very much about class in the US, and that's tied to grammar. Appalachian English grammar is somewhat different than Pittsburgh English grammar, and Washington English is ALWAYS ruthlessly proper, which the other two are not.

For instance, the former two have the construction using, "The dog needs walked" or "my hair needs washed" which is hideous incorrect and would cause a Washingtonian to look at me as if I'd crawled out of the sewer. But it's perfectly acceptable in Pittsburgh - it's been traced back to an old Scots-Irish form of speaking that was once as proper as anything we say today. It's documented by characters in Shakespeare.

Remember the old linguist joke - the only thing standing between a language and a dialect is an army! :)

[Jac]

The same is true of Australia. We have some truly awful grammar in the language. The plural you (yous) being a prime example, we also have significant Irish and working class English influences in our dialect. However, I was referring to a more basic level of grammar in my comment above. It is quite clear from the family's social media accounts that many of the kids don't know even the basics of sentence structure.

Edited April 16, 2015 by JacquelineLHope

[Hpmec]

The Duggars have gone from being a large fundie family who allowed a tv crew into their home most likely as a way to supplement their income to becoming this weird famous for being famous bunch whose members sell even the most intimate moments of their lives for profit. Nothing is off limits - - not an unfortunate childbirth on a toilet. Not a stillbirth. Nothing. I'm shocked we haven't been witnesses to a conception given that JimBoob thinks nothing of dry humping his wife in public. The Duggar girls wear floor length skirts for modesty but allow cameras to record their labor and deliveries. It's bizarre. Lately they have taken to promoting themselves by filming "stay tuned" sales pitches delivered from Jill's hospital bed and by Josiah and Marjorie who have decided to "court." "Can't get enough of us?" they seem to be saying. "Well, here's more." When they aren't filming, they are posting endless selfies on social media to the point of saturation.

Really, what do they have to offer at this point? More babies and/or courtships. Anyone else think the timing of this whole Josiah-Marjorie thing is a bit suspicious and storyline driven given that they've about (as my dad would say) "run out of material"? Yes, Marjorie is perky, but she has the fundie look and it's a safe bet they will have a predictable chaperoned repeat of the previous courtships. Yawn.

These are nothing more than a bunch of hillbilly kool-aid drinkers who have the insane, irresponsible belief that women have no other purpose than to breed like rabbits. Jill got pregnant within days of the I do's , flaunted her growing belly weekly, and then endangered her baby with the pigheaded idea that childbirth happens at home without qualified medical assistance come hell or high water. And for this she's rewarded with a cover story on a national magazine. That's just plain screwed up.

So what about the Duggars gets on my nerves? At this point, everything. I keep waiting for this trainwreck to end and for these idiots to go back into the backwoods and never be heard from again. I can only hope that it happens sooner rather than later. Their 15 minutes should have been up a long time ago.

Amended to add that I'm done with the Duggars unless one of their kids wises up, escapes, and goes to work to finance his or her college education -at an accredited school. TLC could call it "Breaking Duggar." The ratings would be through the roof.

Edited April 16, 2015 by Hpmec

[Seashell Lover]

I have lived in Colorado for 20 years now and still talk like a Philadelphian.

[Darknight]

So when will people get bored? I think fans support it cause its christian just like duck dynasty. No matter what they do its ok cause they're christian. I do think some fans want one of the kids to rebel.

The courtships, pregnancy, sex is all tiring. Look at Joshanna. They're on baby number 4 and nobody cares. I doubt Anna will get the people cover like Jill did.

[3girlsforus]

LOL GEML -  You are making me feel like such a DC snob.  I probably would look at you funny if you said 'my hair needs washed'. But to be fair there is a lot of poor grammar in the DC area but it is mostly from those for whom English is a second language. Verb tenses do not translate well into English. It doesn't bother me in that case. 

Edited April 16, 2015 by 3girlsforus

[GEML]

The "my hair needs washed" is the only one that occasionally gives me away. I would come back from WV or Pitts and it would take a day or two! :)

But I remember moving from "home" to New Haven when my husband went to graduate school, and realizing that there was soooo much we had to learn. And although we both were well spoken, grammar was the least of it. Class markers are incredibly powerful, and all designed to keep people in their place. Watching Josh and Anna navigate this is kind of fun for me. But in your twenties, people conscious or unconsciously tend to pick a side. That Josh and Anna went one way while their sisters went another may actually be in response to each other.

[Skittl1321]

I grew up in Texas (in a city, but I went to the 'country' university). And I was absolutely appalled to find out that "needs washed" is considered correct when I moved to the Midwest (again, cities- I don't live rural).

[Wellfleet]

I was going to post in the Jill and Derick thread but this is the more appropriate one. My mother had two deliveries that went horribly wrong so listening to the Duggars padding their stories gets on my nerves. My mother has never bragged about her horrifying experience although she does pray every time a friend or relative is pregnant that they won't go through what she did. The fact they think there's some sort of martyr to nearly dying to bring their baby into the world one of my best friend's cousin died of a brain aneurysm five minutes after the birth of her third child. Dying in childbirth isn't martyr its tragic and terribly sad. Her children grew up without their mother, and she never got to raise them. For those who actually lost wives/mothers/cousins in childbirth its nothing to brag about.

 

So very true. PS - I think the reason Me-chelle and Jill, and eventually the other girls, talk about pregnancy, childbirth etc endlessly, dramatize it to the point of ridiculousness etc - is because this is literally the only "positive" thing that will ever happen to them in their lives. The only positive thing they're expected to do at least. It's all they've been raised to look forward to, be praised for etc.

[Wellfleet]

So when will people get bored? I think fans support it cause its christian just like duck dynasty. No matter what they do its ok cause they're christian. I do think some fans want one of the kids to rebel.

The courtships, pregnancy, sex is all tiring. Look at Joshanna. They're on baby number 4 and nobody cares. I doubt Anna will get the people cover like Jill did.

 

No, she won't get one unless Boob or TLC pays for it. No one cares beyond the second kid, and sometimes not even then. And did Anna ever get a cover - of anything? I'm thinking - maybe I'm wrong though - that all this branching-out to the evil yet well-paying mainstream media is relatively new. Were the Duggars on any People covers before the Dullard relationship came to be?

[truelovekiss]

So very true. PS - I think the reason Me-chelle and Jill, and eventually the other girls, talk about pregnancy, childbirth etc endlessly, dramatize it to the point of ridiculousness etc - is because this is literally the only "positive" thing that will ever happen to them in their lives. The only positive thing they're expected to do at least. It's all they've been raised to look forward to, be praised for etc.

Great point. Besides giving birth, cooking, cleaning, being a godly wife and praying, they really don't do much of anything. They tend to dramatize those things to compensate for the fact that it's their entire life, whereas most other women go to school, work, have hobbies, have friends outside their family, volunteer, and more. Then they try to shame those other women who do what they do and more. Even though they come across as thinking that they are so superior, sometimes I wonder if they feel insecure about their only purpose being babymaking.

[Seashell Lover]

No, she won't get one unless Boob or TLC pays for it. No one cares beyond the second kid, and sometimes not even then. And did Anna ever get a cover - of anything? I'm thinking - maybe I'm wrong though - that all this branching-out to the evil yet well-paying mainstream media is relatively new. Were the Duggars on any People covers before the Dullard relationship came to be?

Ever since the show started Clown Car was on the cover every time she had another blessing come out of the clown car chute.

[Wellfleet]

Great point. Besides giving birth, cooking, cleaning, being a godly wife and praying, they really don't do much of anything. They tend to dramatize those things to compensate for the fact that it's their entire life, whereas most other women go to school, work, have hobbies, have friends outside their family, volunteer, and more. Then they try to shame those other women who do what they do and more. Even though they come across as thinking that they are so superior, sometimes I wonder if they feel insecure about their only purpose being babymaking.

 

Personally I'm convinced that the whole "superior game" is a defense mechanism. Of course, we'd need sodium pentathol to get it out of them, but I think they all feel quite insecure about the fact that their lives are very different from the majority of American women - single or married. Especially those like Me-chelle who did not grow up "under Gothard." The easiest way to feel better about yourself is to diss others.

Edited April 16, 2015 by Wellfleet

[GEML]

The thing is, none of the girls can really cook or clean. And believe me, people in their world know this.

[truelovekiss]

The thing is, none of the girls can really cook or clean. And believe me, people in their world know this.

Okay, I guess by "cook" I meant put snacks on the bottom if the fridge so howlers and lost girls can help themselves, and make a TTC every now and then, and by "clean," I'm not entirely sure what I meant.

[Apple Clark]

I don't care if the older kids can cook/clean. The girls already have to raise the children while the guys are sitting around on their butts doing nothing. There's not one person in that house that can teach these kids to do anything properly. They've basically been "winging it" all since the buddy groups were thought up, IMO, so I think the older girls are doing the best they can with what they have, which isn't much. :( 

[GEML]

Okay, I guess by "cook" I meant put snacks on the bottom if the fridge so howlers and lost girls can help themselves, and make a TTC every now and then, and by "clean," I'm not entirely sure what I meant.

There was that time Swiffer had them do a product placement on the show....

[JenCarroll]

No, she won't get one unless Boob or TLC pays for it. No one cares beyond the second kid, and sometimes not even then. And did Anna ever get a cover - of anything? I'm thinking - maybe I'm wrong though - that all this branching-out to the evil yet well-paying mainstream media is relatively new. Were the Duggars on any People covers before the Dullard relationship came to be?

I'd never heard of them before the girls' courtships started -- but that might be just when I happened to be in a doctors office (where one reads People). But once I found out about them I've been strangely drawn in. It's just such a train wreck!

Okay, I guess by "cook" I meant put snacks on the bottom if the fridge so howlers and lost girls can help themselves, and make a TTC every now and then, and by "clean," I'm not entirely sure what I meant.

Pick up icky socks off the floor?

It is odd, isn't it? They're supposedly being raised to be homemakers, but they don't know how to do anything. They've lost sight of EVERYTHING except the baby count. I'm thinking this isn't typical even within Gothard.

[andromeda331]

So very true. PS - I think the reason Me-chelle and Jill, and eventually the other girls, talk about pregnancy, childbirth etc endlessly, dramatize it to the point of ridiculousness etc - is because this is literally the only "positive" thing that will ever happen to them in their lives. The only positive thing they're expected to do at least. It's all they've been raised to look forward to, be praised for etc.

 

 

Great point. Besides giving birth, cooking, cleaning, being a godly wife and praying, they really don't do much of anything. They tend to dramatize those things to compensate for the fact that it's their entire life, whereas most other women go to school, work, have hobbies, have friends outside their family, volunteer, and more. Then they try to shame those other women who do what they do and more. Even though they come across as thinking that they are so superior, sometimes I wonder if they feel insecure about their only purpose being babymaking.

 

Interesting points, I hadn't thought of them but it might explain why everything they do they think is the best, perfect or unique. Maybe in their world it is? Or they feel they need to tell everyone that. Those are their big moments where most people watching have other big moments prom, graduation, wedding, babies, job, job promotion, etc. I do wonder if they are aware they either don't do that much or to most of their viewing audience they aren't that special. Most of the viewing audience cooks, cleans, takes care of kids while also going to work, having friends, their kids go to school and going to their kids sports, dance, etc events. Or because the only people they are surrounded by are mom who's no stranger to lying for attention in all those areas and women who do the same thing they do. All their friends do is get married, have babies and stay at home moms. Except perhaps are allowed to do a little more then they are like the Bates girls have been allowed to have jobs, one was allowed to move away, and they know their not allowed to do any of this.

 

 

 

 

[DangerousMinds]

How can they possibly know that their beliefs are superior without knowing what else is out there? I asked this question at about age 10.

[galax-arena]

How can they possibly know that their beliefs are superior without knowing what else is out there?

Because God laid it on their hearts. Sheesh, haven't you been paying attention?? 

[JenCarroll]

You can't argue with people who have a direct line to God. *wry smile*

[HumblePi]

There are so many inconsistencies here. Despite the proclamations of 'love' and 'God'. Their religious cult openly judges other people, that may not share their beliefs, in a negative way. Ask any of the members of their Christian Fundamentalist cult what their views are on women's rights, homosexuality, gay marriage or interracial marriage. Ask Michelle or Jim Bob if they'd welcome a gay man into their lives if one of their sons was gay and wanted a life partner with another gay man. I'd like to ask Michelle if she encourages any of her daughters to be an engineer, a surgeon or an archaeologist. Ask Jim Bob if he'd pay for cosmetology school for any of his boys in order for them to have a career in cosmetology.

 

The viewing public see nothing but modesty, kindness, praise of God, obedience (in all forms) and having as many babies as one woman can have. In their Fundamentalist beliefs, the more babies a woman has, the closer she is to perfection and the higher her social standing is with the community of their peers. People with fewer children are placed in a lower rung of the status ladder than those with multiples. Michelle and Jim Bob are in great standing with their community because of their birthing 19 babies. Who could top that, right?

 

*Choosing this alternative lifestyle is basically their rejection of the "normal" world. And for some reason they think the best way to do that is to have kids the way other people buy Costco cheese.

They believe that the more babies they have, the more voting Christians to balance out the heathens. The individual babies really aren't as important as the quantity of children they successfully indoctrinate into their cause. Keeping women in a state of constant pregnancy/nursing may not be a conscious tactic of male domination, but it works that way all the same. You try life as a 24/7 lactation pump -- see how "strong" and "independent" you remain while acting as combination Household Operations Manager/Teacher/Brood Queen/Slurpee Station.

 

Look at this slacker, she has one whole free arm.

 

*Excerpts taken from an article written by Hannah Ettinger, a former member of this particular movement

[HumblePi]

I don't care if the older kids can cook/clean. The girls already have to raise the children while the guys are sitting around on their butts doing nothing. There's not one person in that house that can teach these kids to do anything properly. They've basically been "winging it" all since the buddy groups were thought up, IMO, so I think the older girls are doing the best they can with what they have, which isn't much. :( 

The females were basically born to be white slaves to take on the responsibility of raising the younger children instead of Michelle or Jim Bob. For the Duggars, this is the legacy they leave their girls, to be wives that are both obedient and subservient to their husbands and to bear lots of children for the community.

[Readalot]

How can they possibly know that their beliefs are superior without knowing what else is out there? I asked this question at about age 10.

me too. Growing up JW I was respectful towards my family and within the religion but after HS graduation I was out of there. I was fortunate to meet Jewish, Catholics, LDS and others. I tried to learn as much as I could about each religion. I found most people were disenchanted of their religion. Bottom line - I consider myself spiritual and not religious.

[andromeda331]

You can't argue with people who have a direct line to God.

 

Heh, that reminded me of a episode from the Gilmore Girls when Taylor's trying to prevent the town loaner from protesting and tries to get the town Rabbi and Reverend to refuse let him protest at the church they share Taylor insists he knows God wouldn't it to happen which of course leads the Rabbi and Reverend to start mocking him. You know? How? Does God speak to you? Do you have a direct line to God? Is it a phone? Do you have a God phone? They want to know what is like to talk to God, since in all their years they haven't gotten so much as a card and obviously Taylor knows more then they do.

[JessDVD]

The thing is, none of the girls can really cook or clean. And believe me, people in their world know this.

 

Could you go into a little more detail on that? I've wondered a bit about what the perception of the Duggars from the hardcore fundie/Gothard world sorts other than the sanitized/staged stuff that's come on the show.

[GEML]

Most Fundy's live in a world where cooking is a necessity. And cooking for more people is not harder, it's easier. Baking a turkey, for instance, is pretty easy. Roast chicken. You can get sides of beef pretty cheaply and fix it. They have NEVER done this.

Don't get me wrong - I'm pretty good with soup can recipes myself. But what's hard about poking holes in 20 potatoes and baking them? Honestly, you can tell that they haven't been, well, TRAINED. Not one of those girls has any real idea about how to keep a house. Yes, it's a large house, but given that there are so many of them, they should be able to clean it easily twice a week, rotating jobs out so no one is stuck with "jurisdictions" they don't enjoy. The laundry loads are completely out of keeping with reality, and they still don't look well dressed half the time.

I know a lot of people cut the older daughters slack because they are raising the younger ones, but what on earth are they all DOING all day??

[NEGirl]

GEML - I agree. I grew up in a family of ten people(8 kids). My mother cooked good, healthy food every day: meat vegies, fruit and salads. My dad worked two jobs to make sure we were well taken care of. My mother raised us. Yes, she had help from my older sisters, but she was the parent. We each had our chores to do which included cleaning the house. We switched often so no could complain about doing the same chores all the time.  We have never seen anyone in that house so much as cook a chicken, turkey or baked potaotoe. Jush plain old gross crap like the TTC. They have enough money now to more than feed those kids healthy food. I have noticed lately that TLC makes a point of showing fruit being served, like its a big deal.  Opps...... sorry, it is for them.

[cmr2014]

Yes, thank you.

 

This is two peeves of mine rolled into one. I, too, come from a large family, and we ate well. There are plenty of meals that can be cooked for a large family with little more effort than for a small one. We ate turkey, spaghetti and meatballs, meatloaf, lasagna, hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill, etc. -- all really easy to make for a lot of people. We didn't wander in and out of the kitchen all day and all night and make our own meals and eat off of paper plates. We ate together as a family and worked together as a family to clean the kitchen -- it wasn't some gigantic production.

 

But we ate *together* as a *family.* I just don't see the Duggars doing that -- ever. If they all gathered around that big table every night and daddy said a prayer and carved the turkey, that would be the lead-in to their show. It is such a warm and relatable image that they would absolutely use it, but they don't. I've only seen them eat at that table once.

 

To me, they don't really interact like members of a family. Why have 19 kids if you don't want to do things together as a family? Aside from the TLC guided events ("we took J_____ horseback riding! She LOVES animals!"), they just seem like a lot of people wandering aimlessly around a big house. I've gone on and on about this in a previous post, so I will just say that I agree with GEML -- what do they do all day?

[3girlsforus]

I didn't know where to ask this so since the concept of ALERT bugs people I though I'd ask here. Is this the same ALERT the Duggars use?

 

http://www.alertacademy.com/iaa/

[Micks Picks]

I moved around the site a little to see what it cost and couldn't find any indication.  Does anybody know what it costs Boob to send the boys?

[Wellfleet]

I moved around the site a little to see what it cost and couldn't find any indication.  Does anybody know what it costs Boob to send the boys?

 

You piqued my interest so I poked around on the website - they do not make it easy to find. However there is a downloadable PDF outlining various charges. Basic training for 9 weeks comes in at $3420. The application alone is $75 which is more than most college applications these days. Let's just say "pre-TLC Boob" would probably not be sending anyone to Alert.  

 

PS - if someone will tell me how to do it, I'll pop the PDF in here. Thanks.

[Absolom]

That's the one!  This page should lead to some costs and fees. It looks like a minimum of $3420 plus application fee for the basic course.  

 

ETA:  We must have been searching at the same time. :)

Edited April 18, 2015 by Absolom

[3girlsforus]

Wow - so the posts about Josiah said he spent almost a year there. How much did that cost??????

 

 

Edited - just found that part at the bottom.... 20k+ for a year at this place. That could have paid for a lot of college classes.

Edited April 18, 2015 by 3girlsforus

[Jenniferbug]

Did Josh and John David attend?

[Apple Clark]

My question is, what the fuck did he do to make them want to spend that much money to ship him away?! (I know he didn't actually DO anything, but yeah...ya'll get my point....) ;)

[Wellfleet]

Wow - so the posts about Josiah said he spent almost a year there. How much did that cost??????

 

 

Edited - just found that part at the bottom.... 20k+ for a year at this place. That could have paid for a lot of college classes.

 

There are all kinds of options for additional "training" beyond the Basic 9-weeks. The aviation one is 32 weeks, paramedic is 34. What I want to know is - who are the instructors and what are their qualifications?

[3girlsforus]

And I can't figure out what you are getting out of it for that kind of money. Also, I couldn't find the 'how to ungay your kid' class option. There is probably a surcharge for that.

[Micks Picks]

And they ask for volunteers to help run the place!  Wow a great college would have spas and all sorts of luxury amenities, which of course has driven up costs dramatically.  They spend 20K FOR A year of bootcamp.  How utterly cool.  I gotta go.  Gotta start some fly by night religion and school…..

[3girlsforus]

Some of this stuff is really offensive, even putting aside what we know is the underlying purpose of this place.  One course is property and facility care (basically HVAC maintenance, wiring, plumbing etc). Fine. They give the instructor, a former residential contractor, the title Lt. Col. That's just offensive. That is a military title that people work hard for and serve our nation for a long time to receive that honor.