Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

[toodywoody]

36 minutes ago, druzy said:

GD again! This bitch is a fucking hypochondriac and should be at a shrink's office to have her fucking head checked out. For how many years has see seen 50 doctors in a year. Who the fuck would treat her when she dr shops. Remember her trip to NYC to get pills for her seeing sunlight and moonbeams. 

[lovesnark]

2 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

No one wants to see exclusive pictures of this kid.

Is that Kool-Aid in her bottle?  

Looks like Kool-Aid or some other sugary crap. Enchilada is two years old, why is she still drinking a bottle?!?! No one needs to answer, we all know she's still sucking on a bottle of sugar because her parents are useless pieces of garbage.

 

2 hours ago, druzy said:

Who cares? Unless you're seeing a doctor that specializes in removing useless brains and replacing them with functioning ones.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, druzy said:

 

 

Let me tell you something...if that was the doctor's office I was in I'd be escorting myself out the door. That poster is from 1976, it's askew, and it's the only one there. That's some pill-mill doc, if they're even a doctor at all. 

Keep the meth out of your nose, Jennelle. 

[MaggieG]

3 hours ago, toodywoody said:

GD again! This bitch is a fucking hypochondriac and should be at a shrink's office to have her fucking head checked out. For how many years has see seen 50 doctors in a year. Who the fuck would treat her when she dr shops. Remember her trip to NYC to get pills for her seeing sunlight and moonbeams. 

Dude, she saw molecules!!!!!

[Rebecca]

5 hours ago, teapot said:

I'll have you know that I've eaten grits at a Cracker Barrel in New Hampshire.  they were yummy.

Yeah, I’m about as far north as one could get in the continental US and some places around here even have grits on the menu, not to mention the chain places like CB. Lol. I guess all cuisine is pretty much everywhere now.

2 hours ago, lovesnark said:

Enchilada is two years old

Lol! 

37 minutes ago, MaggieG said:

Dude, she saw molecules!!!!!

I actually “saw molecules” once...I was hella high. 😆 Put down the bong, Jenelle.

Edited January 8, 2019 by Rebecca

[Chaos Theory]

4 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

 

Is that Kool-Aid in her bottle?  

I know I am not a parent but who gives their two years old kool aid.  My sister gives her kids water and milk and when they go to grandma’s house they have a “milkshake” which is basically a smoothly..    

[Rebecca]

6 minutes ago, Chaos Theory said:

I know I am not a parent but who gives their two years old kool aid.  My sister gives her kids water and milk and when they go to grandma’s house they have a “milkshake” which is basically a smoothly..    

I wonder why anyone would want to drink that fake dye filled, overly sugary but otherwise kinda flavorless crap. I don’t have kids but 95% of my friends do and I spend a lot of time with them (I’m actually at my friend’s house right now waiting for her kids to get off the bus, (I have a key)) and I’ve never seen kool aid in any of their homes. Is it even really “a thing” anymore? Jenelle would definitely think nothing of feeding her kids any crap food or drink. Kaiser seemed to eat hot dogs for every meal in the past.

Edited January 8, 2019 by Rebecca

[heatherchandler]

2 hours ago, Chaos Theory said:

I know I am not a parent but who gives their two years old kool aid.  My sister gives her kids water and milk and when they go to grandma’s house they have a “milkshake” which is basically a smoothly..    

I think it is one of the worst things you can do as a parent.  I think I have received backlash for my no-sugary-drinks-for-kids stance before, but if you never give your kids sugary drinks, they will not ask for them.  My kids drink water - sometimes with lemon, sometimes with crushed berries as a treat.  And milk, usually almond milk, sometimes with a tiny bit of chocolate sauce.

[Snarky McSnarky]

She's seeing an ENT Doc?  Chronic nasal inhalation of either cocaine or meth can lead to the misalignment of the nasal septum.

Nah, probably just wayward molecules.

[lovesnark]

13 minutes ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

She's seeing an ENT Doc?  Chronic nasal inhalation of either cocaine or meth can lead to the misalignment of the nasal septum.

Nah, probably just wayward molecules.

She had sinus surgery a few months ago and posted sympathy pics. A little while later, she once again blamed her kids for making her sick while she hawked up phlegm and spit in a video she posted on Instagram. I'm sure there is mold everywhere at casa swamp and that's why everyone but UBT is sick all the time. He must be immune to mold spores.

[Stusan]

2 hours ago, lovesnark said:

She had sinus surgery a few months ago and posted sympathy pics. A little while later, she once again blamed her kids for making her sick while she hawked up phlegm and spit in a video she posted on Instagram. I'm sure there is mold everywhere at casa swamp and that's why everyone but UBT is sick all the time. He must be immune to mold spores.

Perhaps because he is some sort of giant mold or fungus?

[galaxychaser]

Caca swamp is a good name.

egghead poor kid isn’t cute. If her parents cared they’d at least brush / style her hair. 

[Rebecca]

Quote

Setting the record straight? Jenelle Evans says her infamous 911 call, in which she accused husband David Eason of attacking her, was a “misunderstanding.”

In an exclusive interview with Us Weekly, the Teen Mom 2 star, 27, explains what happened in October 2018, when she hysterically told 911 operators that her husband “assaulted” her and “pinned” her “down on the ground in the yard.” Following the incident, the Columbus County Sheriff’s Office confirmed to Us Weekly that Evans was transported to the hospital. A source told Us at the time, “David attacked her in front of everyone and they fell to the ground.”

However, Evans says that’s not the case. “We had friends over and we had a bonfire and I tripped over a hole, and me and David were in the middle of arguing about something … I went and fell down, David wouldn’t catch me, he tripped over the hole and we both fell down together,” the TV personality tells Us. “And right after it happened, we filmed about it and I was open and honest.”

The reality star — who married Eason, 30, in September 2017 — touched on the backlash she received from fans, who questioned why she would stay with someone who has come under fire recently for his actions.

“I totally understand that. I was like, dude, I was drunk and when I get drunk, sometimes, I cry for no reason. I mean I was hurt, I’m not gonna lie about that,” Evans continued. “Yeah, I hurt my shoulder. But I went to the doctor afterwards and it’s just a sprain and I was fine.”

The Read Between the Lines: From the Diary of a Teenage Mom author believes that once the upcoming series of Teen Mom 2 airs, the public and her fans will get more clarity on the disturbing incident. “Everyone’s like, ‘Oh, what’s Jenelle’s story? Oh, she’s hiding it.’ No, I’m not hiding it. CPS came to my house, they interviewed me, they know the story. My lawyer knows. Everybody knows except for the public.”

Despite this bump in their relationship, Evans and Eason are still happily married. “Everything’s fine,” the MTV star tells Us, adding that the couple now have custody of his daughter Maryssa. The pair share 23-month-old daughter Ensley, while Evans has two children, Jace, 9, and Kaiser, 4, from previous relationships.

Fans of the hit MTV series shouldn’t expect to catch up with Eason and his antics when the ninth season debuts on Monday, January 14, however. The network cut all ties with him in February 2018 after his homophobic tweets went viral.

If you or someone you know are experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential support.

The article came out yesterday: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jenelle-evans-breaks-down-tear-filled-911-call-i-was-drunk/amp/

SURE, JAN! We all know you’re a fucking lying liar who lies so why would your “explanation” on the show convince anyone otherwise? Especially if it’s as sound and logical as the explanations we’ve already heard you give about that night.

Now she and David both fell in this massive, mysterious future grave hole that they were obvious completely unaware of. Next to the fire. And then Jenelle fell first but then they also fell “together”? 🤔 And that really doesn’t explain anything she said on the phone... So she’s admitting she’s a drama queen, basically, as well? 

For as much as I dislike her and think she’s a horrendous person it’s really alarming that she feels the need to make herself look so dumb in an attempt to cover it up for David. Not even just the changing stories in general but the fact that she is basically trying to say she was just a drunk drama queen is alarming to me, Jenelle never takes responsibility for anything and always tries to put herself in the best light...she’s actually blaming herself here...that says to me that something is MAJORLY off, which we all know anyway but I take it as further evidence. The Jenelle of yore would never downplay her own “suffering” and innocence in all this.

Also, I wouldn’t have quoted the end of the article because we all know but I like the burn of throwing in how and why David was fired and the fact that they gave the domestic abuse info. It’s like they’re saying “Sure, Jan (but we need articles),” too.

Edited January 10, 2019 by Rebecca

[DangerousMinds]

Nice to know they are both getting so drunk and Jenelle gets drunk and teary when the kids are there. Then tells 911 uBT did not have firearms!

[mamadrama]

Drinking from a bottle at 2, the occasional kool aid drink, lots of doctor visits...none of that crap bothers me or makes me raise an eye until Jenelle does it. Then I am all Judgey McJudgerson.

[BlancheDevoreaux]

On 1/7/2019 at 8:09 PM, Mkay said:

I agree. I lived in Corpus Christi for two yrs in 99-01 and we definitely had different accents. I have a cousin in McAllen who has a valley accent. Hahaha She laughs at me.  People in Corpus would comment on my accent.  We sounded funny. I can reel it in if I think about it. Especially when I had to call insurances at the pharmacy and they would have to enunciate correctly so they understood what I was saying.  😆 When we went to Washington/Oregon every time I spoke they would say “You’re not from here.” Hahaha Nope One girl knew my accent because she grew up close to my town and said she recognized the accent   Two sweet ladies at Friday Harbor ran around the shop for what I needed and asked questions just to hear me talk.  They were so tickled!! I liked them  but when my daughter asked for sweet tea at a restaurant and the waitress said “I can bring you sugar packets” I had to tell my daughter they don’t drink sweet tea there.  Oops I didn’t think it until she said it  

I do not own a cowboy hat, boots, horses, cattle, or a farm.  I cant stand country music. I’m also tired of the year long summers. I sound like the old lady yelling “Get off my lawn.” Since I do live in the country, on a dirt road,  if I want to be like Jenelle, I can call it my land! Ha

You know, when you consider that El Paso to Orange is about twice as far as Cleveland to Manhattan or that Amarillo to Padre is about the same distance as Manhattan to Savannah, it makes sense that our state has many different accents and customs.  I mean, people in Savannah don't sound anything like people in Manhattan and people in Manhattan sound very different from anyone in Ohio.  Personally, I'm from west Texas, went to college in south east Texas, and now live in DFW after a few years in the Austin area.  I've experienced it all, love it all, and wouldn't have Texas any other way.

 

Jenelle still sucks as a person. As does David.

[CaliforniaLove]

She seriously would be so much better off just keeping her mouth shut. How does she not realize that? "No my husband doesn't abuse me. This black eye? Wuhhhhl, I was stoned, and my husband was drunk & folding laundry. There happened to be some cookies by where my husband was folding laundry so as I walked by to grab one cuz of the munchies, he was shaking out a sheet from the laundry & his elbow caught me in the eye. Since I was stoned, I thought a black or gay person had gotten into our apartment & was beating me so I became hysterical. My husband then slapped me to calm down my hysteria, so I called the cops, but it's all good. It was all just a misunderstanding. You will ALL SEE THE TRUTH!!!!"

Um, what you dumb cunt?

[Rebecca]

4 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

"No my husband doesn't abuse me. This black eye? Wuhhhhl, I was stoned, and my husband was drunk & folding laundry. There happened to be some cookies by where my husband was folding laundry so as I walked by to grab one cuz of the munchies, he was shaking out a sheet from the laundry & his elbow caught me in the eye. Since I was stoned, I thought a black or gay person had gotten into our apartment & was beating me so I became hysterical. My husband then slapped me to calm down my hysteria, so I called the cops, but it's all good. It was all just a misunderstanding. You will ALL SEE THE TRUTH!!!!”

Also, something about “making ice water.” 

Edited January 10, 2019 by Rebecca

[Rebecca]

Jenelle is hawking more crap on Instagram. If you have a spare minute message this company and tell them how you feel about them choosing Jenelle to represent their product. #IDid (kinda like #IVoted but obviously much more important *wink*). The picture is blurry because it’s actually a video. The text is so 80’s infomercial. 

Edited January 11, 2019 by Rebecca

[KittyKat133]

On 1/8/2019 at 8:18 AM, FlowerofCarnage said:

Stop trying to that poor dead-eyed baby happen!

She really is so dead eye! No personality ever in any of her pictures! Very sad 

On 1/8/2019 at 10:14 AM, druzy said:

The molecule dr.

[FlowerofCarnage]

Dr. Molecule. Lol

[Isthisok]

She should get a Nexplanon while she’s there. One in each arm.

[kicksave]

14 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Jenelle is hawking more crap on Instagram. If you have a spare minute message this company and tell them how you feel about them choosing Jenelle to represent their product. #IDid (kinda like #IVoted but obviously much more important *wink*). The picture is blurry because it’s actually a video. The text is so 80’s infomercial. 

Well... she's building her brand for when she's fired from MTV.

7 hours ago, KittyKat133 said:

She really is so dead eye! No personality ever in any of her pictures! Very sad 

The molecule dr.

What kind of parent pimps out pictures of their young daughter online???? Wow...a pedophile's wet dream. Honestly, Jenelle is just stupid and ignorant.

[BitterApple]

26 minutes ago, kicksave said:

 

What kind of parent pimps out pictures of their young daughter online???? Wow...a pedophile's wet dream. Honestly, Jenelle is just stupid and ignorant.

She must be taking a page out of the Kim Zolciak playbook.

[toodywoody]

Anyone else read google and how David said if his kids were transgender he would slap the shit of them?

 

https://radaronline.com/photos/jenelle-evans-husband-david-eason-threatens-slap-kids-transgender-views-teen-mom-2/

Edited January 11, 2019 by toodywoody

[druzy]

1 hour ago, toodywoody said:

Anyone else read google and how David said if his kids were transgender he would slap the shit of them?

 

https://radaronline.com/photos/jenelle-evans-husband-david-eason-threatens-slap-kids-transgender-views-teen-mom-2/

I want to slap the skin off his demonic face.

[DangerousMinds]

I hate Jenelle, but they ALL pimp their kids out online (and on national tv).

[toodywoody]

1 hour ago, druzy said:

I want to slap the skin off his demonic face.

I love you druzy. 

I swear this dude has some issues. I would really hate for an of the kids to turn out gay, he would probably try to beat it out of them. My sister is gay and I knew even before she told me, same with my best friend, people like David will never understand that people are born the way they are,  no amount of anything is going to change the way they are meant to be. It is a shame that people still believe the way he does.

[FlowerofCarnage]

Someone deactivated his FB because he got slapped with a 30 day suspension:

https://twitter.com/FUNB18/status/1083812537416761344?s=19

I am displaying this as a link ad a precaution because the tweet contains offensive language. 

[Rebecca]

1 hour ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

Someone deactivated his FB because he got slapped with a 30 day suspension:

https://twitter.com/FUNB18/status/1083812537416761344?s=19

I am displaying this as a link ad a precaution because the tweet contains offensive language. 

 

 

If only life could “deactivate” him now. 😬 

Edited January 12, 2019 by Rebecca

[Guest]

23 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Jenelle is hawking more crap on Instagram. If you have a spare minute message this company and tell them how you feel about them choosing Jenelle to represent their product.

I googled the side effects of "Boombod":

Quote

Some people may experience mild side effects, such as bloating, flatulence, soft stools or diarrhea, but these negative effects are uncommon.

So, I'd say Jennelle is their perfect spokesperson since they're both full of shit. 

[Psycho Suzy]

On 1/10/2019 at 1:51 PM, CaliforniaLove said:

She seriously would be so much better off just keeping her mouth shut. How does she not realize that? "No my husband doesn't abuse me. This black eye? Wuhhhhl, I was stoned, and my husband was drunk & folding laundry. There happened to be some cookies by where my husband was folding laundry so as I walked by to grab one cuz of the munchies, he was shaking out a sheet from the laundry & his elbow caught me in the eye. Since I was stoned, I thought a black or gay person had gotten into our apartment & was beating me so I became hysterical. My husband then slapped me to calm down my hysteria, so I called the cops, but it's all good. It was all just a misunderstanding. You will ALL SEE THE TRUTH!!!!"

Um, what you dumb cunt?

May I add on to your wonderful story? David only lowered himself to do that dern wimin' work, because he needed that white sheet for his KKK meeting that evening.

[Rebecca]

40 minutes ago, SuzyQILoveYou said:

May I add on to your wonderful story? David only lowered himself to do that dern wimin' work, because he needed that white sheet for his KKK meeting that evening.

And he had to do the folding himself because Jenelle was too busy “making ice water,*” in all its complexity, to do it then. And the hell if David is gonna host his KKK klique on The Land with a wrinkly sheet!

*Told ya earlier there was something about “making ice water” involved. 

😂 That’s one of my favorite idiotic things Jenelle has ever said. I still need the recipe.

Edited January 12, 2019 by Rebecca

[eskimo]

On 1/8/2019 at 8:14 AM, druzy said:

Your follow-up apt with the ENT, after David finally broke your nose?

[Maharincess]

Wow. I see nothing has changed for the swamp monsters. I don't keep up with these idiots outside of here and haven't been here a while.  Things seem to have gotten worse.  Those poor kids. 

Did they ever say why Marissa no longer lives with them? 

[Psycho Suzy]

Okay, full confession, I think the "making ice water" may be regional. I was born and raised in Tennessee and have lived in North Carolina for the past 15 years. We say things like, "Do you want me to make you a diet Coke?" or "Do you want me to make you an ice water?" all the time.

This is so embarrassing.

[BitterApple]

9 hours ago, Maharincess said:

Wow. I see nothing has changed for the swamp monsters. I don't keep up with these idiots outside of here and haven't been here a while.  Things seem to have gotten worse.  Those poor kids. 

Did they ever say why Marissa no longer lives with them? 

Wow, I had no idea Maryssa was no longer living on The Swamp. My guess is it's because she's older and can fully articulate the various abuses going on in the home. Kaiser and Ensley are much easier to control.

[lovesnark]

From what I can gather from reading twitter, I don't think Maryssa has moved out of casa swamp. She's having regular visitation with her mother now, so she  gets to escape for a while.

[lovesnark]

Wait a minute. Jenelle has been hawking that Flat Tummy crap for a couple years. Isn't what she's shilling now the same snake oil in different packaging? Did Flat Tummy finally decide she's not the best idea to shill their garbage?

[blubld43]

On 1/7/2019 at 4:49 PM, Christina87 said:

It's interesting how we classify places. I live in NC, but I don't consider Florida the South. Florida is basically its own thing IMO. 

Lol. Where I live, the panhandle, it's definitely the South!  The rest of the state, not so much.

[Isthisok]

31 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

Lol. Where I live, the panhandle, it's definitely the South!  The rest of the state, not so much.

Agreed. I’m from south Mississippi, and the panhandle is definitely southern. We all have Salt Life stickers hahahaha 

[geauxaway]

I “make” pretty much everything so....it’s just how I talk.   I’m not embarrassed or uneducated, I just am what I am.  I make the bath, I make the groceries, I make a plate.  

I still hate Jenelle.  But I like to make things 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Snarky McSnarky]

From PopCulture dot com:

David Eason, the controversial husband of Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans, reportedly shut down his Facebook page after he told a fan he would "slap" his child if he or she came out as transgender.

Earlier this week, a fan asked Eason, "Serious question, what would you do if one of your kids came to you and said, 'Dad I think I should be a boy/girl?'"

According to OK! Magazine, Eason replied, "I would slap the s– out of them."

"Man you're really trying to lose your kids," the person replied.

"Smickity [sic] smack," he replied.

"Kids that feel they are born in [the] wrong body should be able to choose what they want and [you] should love [and] support them," another user wrote to him.

"Born in the wrong body?" Eason replied. "Well instead of getting body implants maybe they should have a new brain implanted?"

After the comments were reported, Eason's official Facebook page disappeared, InTouch Weekly points out. Indeed, a search of "David Eason" profiles shows other people with that name or fan-created pages. Evans' verified Facebook page is still active.

https://popculture.com/reality-tv/2019/01/13/teen-mom-2-david-eason-deactivates-facebook-alleged-transphobic-comments

Edited January 13, 2019 by Snarky McSnarky

[mamadrama]

What is it going to take to get these asshats off my radar? When will Jenelle finally face some repercussions for her lying and actions? 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 1/12/2019 at 7:57 PM, geauxaway said:

I “make” pretty much everything so....it’s just how I talk.   I’m not embarrassed or uneducated, I just am what I am.  I make the bath, I make the groceries, I make a plate.  

I still hate Jenelle.  But I like to make things 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Checking in for "Making groceries," @geauxaway. You're my neighbor!

I'd say "I was getting a glass of ice water," but I can see how someone might use "make." I wouldn't criticize anyone for saying that except Jenelle, just cause it's Jenelle.

David is so disgusting. He is incapable of empathy or putting himself in anyone else's shoes. 

[DangerousMinds]

How do you make groceries?

[HeySandyStrange]

I am truly beginning to believe that UBT is nothing but a closet case in severe and hateful denial. Everytime I've seen a person this over the top hateful and homophobic, it was usually because they were pissed at the fact they were attracted, deep down, to their same sex. I actually hope ol'Dave stays in the closet, though. I wouldn't want to inflict him on some decent gay guy.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

1 hour ago, DangerousMinds said:

How do you make groceries?

You "make groceries" by going to the grocery store and buying them, boo!* :)

It's common to hear in south Louisiana/New Orleans area. It has something to do with the French verb fairer, which means "to make/to do," being used in colonial French as the verb that went with the phrase for grocery shopping (or at least that's where my colleagues who are interested in Francophone Louisiana say it came from).  It's a literal translation of the phrase in the French spoken in colonial Louisiana that is understood as "to do the grocery shopping" into English (and I suspect also because the Spanish verb hacer also means to do/to make and Louisiana was a Spanish colony for over 70 years as well). I hope that makes sense. While South Louisiana is the South, it's a different flavor of Southern than the "Bible Belt South" (because of its history as French & Spanish colonies, large numbers of Italian & Irish immigrants, etc) culturally and linguistically.  I used to cringe when I heard people say they were "making groceries" when I was a teen/young adult because I knew it was "wrong," but I've started to remind myself to use the phrase "making groceries" (and purposely use it in front of my kids) as a way to kind of keep the south Louisiana dialect (or at least its unique phrases) alive.   

Some of the quite older generation of New Orleans area natives say "make water" for peeing (very few people of that age are still around, so it's been a looong time since I've heard someone's great-great-grandparent say it, but it was a thing).  It's used like: "I have to go make water" = "I have to go pee." Jenelle making ice water is even funnier if I think about that. Ha!

(*https://www.mccno.com/glossary/ for more NOLA phrases & words, if you're interested and bored. Dere ya go!)

Back on topic (and sorry for the culture lesson, LOL) - Jenelle and David are trash in every American regional vernacular. 

Edited January 14, 2019 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[FlowerofCarnage]

Nathan posted pictures of Kaiser's bruises.  I scrolled kinda of quick because it made me uncomfortable but as someone who has been beat with a stick as a kid, those bruises look awfully similar. 

[Jeanne222]

17 minutes ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

Nathan posted pictures of Kaiser's bruises.  I scrolled kinda of quick because it made me uncomfortable but as someone who has been beat with a stick as a kid, those bruises look awfully similar. 

Do you happen to have a link?  I've wondered about those brui.  Thank you!