Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

[lovesnark]

Hahaha!!!! Someone posted on Twitter that Jenelle Instagrammed their lunch today and she had fettuccine alfredo. You can't eat before an endoscopy. Bitch is recycling pics again for sympathy #liarliaralfredoonfire

[Rebecca]

On 12/20/2018 at 6:24 AM, citychic said:

This showed up in the comments section about the truck towing video.  Another one of David's family members claiming that Jenelle is pregnant again so they can get back on the show.

Christ, learn how to fucking “rite!” Who the hell writes “neway” - it’s exactly one letter shorter than anyway and people will actually know what the fuck “ur” trying to say if you just write “anyway” ! Also lol forever at the idea of mtv giving David “back salary” and needing his permission to film Jenelle because it’s his baby if she were pregnant. 🙄 Even mtv isn’t that stupid. And I’m not sure that a pregnant Jenelle would be any kind of draw for mtv...in fact I think it might go the other way and a lot of people might be so disgusted they quit watching, especially if it meant bringing David back. I’d be one of them. We’ve already seen Jenelle pregnant 3 times and this one would be the first with the same father - boring! If she really wanted to keep interest she’d dump David and get with a new guy ASAP and we’d all watch as the stalking and threats commenced.

On 12/20/2018 at 10:42 AM, druzy said:

What the fuck is this list? It can’t be legit? Why would the government share this info? 

13 hours ago, lovesnark said:

Well, I bet the local, county and state police know he has an arsenal now!😊 If he thinks no trespassing signs and a gate is all he needs to be able to open fire on law enforcement or any government entity, he's sorely mistaken. I guess he's never watched Live PD. I'd love to see an entire SWAT team descend on THE LAND and use a battering ram to enter the house (when the kids are gone, of course). I'd spring for Pay Per View to watch some bigass cop grab his nasty beard and throw him to the ground. He'd probably pee all over himself if confronted by a man. He only menaces and beats up womem, children and handicapped people. I hate both of them with the fire of a thousand suns and wish they'd both just vanish from the face of the earth.

Jenelle has actually Snapchatted them watching LIVE PD and said it’s her favorite show. The only other reality show I ever want to see them on is that one! Please!!!!! let it happen!!!

5 hours ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

Apparently, any damage over 1k is a felony in NC. If he's found guilty, he can kiss his penis extensions aka guns good bye. 

I totally lolled!! A million for you, FoC!

1 hour ago, lovesnark said:

What a wonderful Christmas miracle to come home to after a marathon of shopping for all the last minute stuff!! Please, sweet baby jebus, let him FINALLY be held accountable and make it a felony so he can't have any guns! Not to be greedy about Christmas wishes, but maybe the guy Jenelle followed home will follow suit and press charges, too! If he's convicted of a felony, Jenelle can't have firearms, either😂

I have doubts that a felony would actually stop him from having guns - they’ll just be illegal. But, I agree, he needs some accountability for once! Even though he and Jenelle are lost causes I still have a shred of hope for the kids and want their kids to learn that acting like David (and Jenelle!) results in negative consequences or else they’re more likely to end up being asshole, useless adults too. Maybe if they see it leads to prison they’ll chose a different life than the life their “parents” have shown them.

3 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

Hahaha!!!! Someone posted on Twitter that Jenelle Instagrammed their lunch today and she had fettuccine alfredo. You can't eat before an endoscopy. Bitch is recycling pics again for sympathy #liarliaralfredoonfire

I think you mean “alfreda” which is what Jenelle’s dumbass has called it in the past. And yeah, what a liar! You’re doubly not supposed to eat rich foods like that!

[CaliforniaLove]

Quote

My mother has degenerative disc disease. She's had two back surgeries. She was given a handicap thing to hang from her windshield if she wants to use it. She rarely does. But, once in a while, if her pain is at its max; she will use it. She doesn't LOOK handicapped at all. 

I'm sorry about your Mom's situation @ghoulina, and "medical professional, lifesaver Jenelle" should know better. There are so many things like that, as well as people with CF, or other breathing disorders, etc. etc. Her putting handicapped in quotations is just another checkmark in her being so unbelievably offensive. 

[lovesnark]

51 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

Christ, learn how to fucking “rite!” Who the hell writes “neway” - it’s exactly one letter shorter than anyway and people will actually know what the fuck “ur” trying to say if you just write “anyway” ! Also lol forever at the idea of mtv giving David “back salary” and needing his permission to film Jenelle because it’s his baby if she were pregnant. 🙄 Even mtv isn’t that stupid. And I’m not sure that a pregnant Jenelle would be any kind of draw for mtv...in fact I think it might go the other way and a lot of people might be so disgusted they quit watching, especially if it meant bringing David back. I’d be one of them. We’ve already seen Jenelle pregnant 3 times and this one would be the first with the same father - boring! If she really wanted to keep interest she’d dump David and get with a new guy ASAP and we’d all watch as the stalking and threats commenced.

What the fuck is this list? It can’t be legit? Why would the government share this info? 

Jenelle has actually Snapchatted them watching LIVE PD and said it’s her favorite show. The only other reality show I ever want to see them on is that one! Please!!!!! let it happen!!!

I totally lolled!! A million for you, FoC!

I have doubts that a felony would actually stop him from having guns - they’ll just be illegal. But, I agree, he needs some accountability for once! Even though he and Jenelle are lost causes I still have a shred of hope for the kids and want their kids to learn that acting like David (and Jenelle!) results in negative consequences or else they’re more likely to end up being asshole, useless adults too. Maybe if they see it leads to prison they’ll chose a different life than the life their “parents” have shown them.

I think you mean “alfreda” which is what Jenelle’s dumbass has called it in the past. And yeah, what a liar! You’re doubly not supposed to eat rich foods like that!

They really screwed the pooch by posting that video. Now, everyone from Wilmington to bumfuck Money Hole Road and all parts in between know who they are and what wastes of human flesh they are. Before the morons posted that video and the local news ran with it,  there were only a handful of people who knew who they are. Now, his giant, ugly mug will be recognized everywhere, and not in a good way 😂 If we all get our Christmas wish and he is convicted of a felony, it'll be much harder for him to keep his arsenal. I'm assuming he Jenelle purchased the firearms legally, so there is a paper trail which will be helpful to law enforcement as far as getting them off THE LAND. He Jenelle can buy new ones, but he won't be able to open carry and that will be like someone cutting his dick off. 

The kids are still young enough to have a chance at a decent life if they could get away from them. We don't know anything about Maryssa's mother and I hope she has more brains than the Eason clan.  Listening to them talk and reading what they "rite" has convinced me that none of them made it past 6th or 7th grade. One thing in that poorly written post did jump out at me, though. His sister claims he was bullied while growing up. Explains why he's such a beastly bully himself and why he picks on women, children and elderly folks. I still believe he'd piss his pants and run away screaming if a grown man confronted him (and he didn't have a gun on his hip).

[FairyDusted]

These people are painfully stupid. They really love fire, eh?! And what about that tune playing in the video?! 

Well they made the news. Merry Christmas to all. Thank you Terry for taking one for the team. Someone had to. DumbFucks were stupid enough to film and post all this ignorant shit. 

I hope Babs is still taking notes and saving this shit show on Social media. The kid doesn't have a chance living on THE LAND.

[akr]

It doesn't look like Jenelle paid close enough attention to David's tutorial on how to lay down a gasoline fuse - that thing ended up burning behind her as well as towards her target. 

[Adiba]

10 hours ago, lovesnark said:

I'm skeptical, too. But, the morons filmed the entire thing and have since bragged about getting away with it all over the internet. Swamp dick admitted he knew what he did was illegal on FB and laughed about it. Jenelle making fun of Terry and saying he isn't handicapped won't help, either. 

I'm skeptical as well, because they (J and D) have money for lawyers and time to spend on going to court, etc. However, because they filmed it and also lied about it, it may give a judge reason enough to slap them with whatever fine/penalty is allowable. We'll see.

Also, when I viewed the video, it seemed that David's boat motor was actually slightly over the line going into the handicapped spot. Wouldn't that be a fine as well? It also looked like no matter if Terry Hill parked an inch or two back, David still would have had trouble getting his boat out. The way David parked looked like no one could be in the Handicapped spot, unless it was a very very small vehicle parked a foot away from the line!

[FlowerofCarnage]

Can you imagine if David had to spend tine in jail leaving Jenelle as the sole caretaker of the kids? Kaiser would be deposited on Doris's doorstep so fast; Ensley would find herself spending a lot of time with Mama Eason; Jace can't come for his weekend visits because Jenelle doesn't  feel well and as for Maryssa, she might keep her because she needs someone to clean up and wait on her.

[druzy]

[DangerousMinds]

Charge her with anything and everything.

[FairyDusted]

And Ya know some hair products are highly flammable! Idiot. I guess Babs had to call the cops Friday morning because she locked her keys inside while she was on THE LAND. Lurch is useless. Though I don't think I'd let him near my vehicle either. 

[Mkay]

[badhaggis]

18 minutes ago, Mkay said:

WTF did I just watch?! Yikes just say no to whatever this psycho is using!

Edited December 22, 2018 by badhaggis

[toodywoody]

23 hours ago, druzy said:

Damage control!

There is a news article in Google saying she has biopsies everywhere. Seeing particles and bleeding from the eyes. My gosh there is always something wrong with her. Gotta get sick so that I can take the heat off of my latest shit I or my husband has pulled. And who does biopsies on a Friday or Saturday before Christmas? 

[FairyDusted]

He is an asshole. She is a basket case. Who is watching the kids while he kills dinner???? I just can't!!!!

*PPP* I got a new vape pen;)

[kicksave]

3 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

He is an asshole. She is a basket case. Who is watching the kids while he kills dinner???? I just can't!!!!

*PPP* I got a new vape pen;)

Why are they eating a bird? Can't they just go to the store like everyone else and get a pound of chicken breasts? There was no reason for this socio-psychopath to kill a bird for food. His  behavior with the dead bird is really off the rails. 

[druzy]

Why don't you just quit? 

[toodywoody]

2 hours ago, druzy said:

Why don't you just quit? 

MTV makes people have mental illnesses now? Like wtf is wrong with Jenelle? Oh yeah I forgot, her and Ambie are long lost twins that have every illness in the world and think their shit doesn't stink and blames everyone else for how they act. 

Both just need to quit if they hate their jobs so much.

[SweetieDarling]

9 hours ago, druzy said:

Why don't you just quit? 

I'm still stuck on the line "Change can't happen with new people/bosses in the offices all the time." ummm, isn't that change? new people, new bosses? Am I missing something?

 

That and "We remember our memories as a family and get all happy" part. So, the memories of why Jace is afraid of UBT, and the marks on Kaiser's bottom, the road rage incident, and "falling near the fire" are happy memories but "These producers" twisted them for ratings purposes? Sure Jan.

[KittyKat133]

Jenelle is so stupid. A peace gathering! 

She means a peace offering. 

Moron

[geauxaway]

11 hours ago, kicksave said:

Why are they eating a bird? Can't they just go to the store like everyone else and get a pound of chicken breasts? There was no reason for this socio-psychopath to kill a bird for food. His  behavior with the dead bird is really off the rails. 

I won’t watch the video, but if I am understanding, UBT shot a bird to feed his family of 6? One bird?  If it’s a game bird other than a turkey, there’s no way you’d get enough meat for a decent meal for 6 people.  He’s full of shit.  As per usual.

With all this most recent drama going on out at the land, I’m sure Christmas is setting up to be a grand old time, NOT.  What a miserable life they have, those poor children have no peace or joy.

[badhaggis]

50 minutes ago, geauxaway said:

I won’t watch the video, but if I am understanding, UBT shot a bird to feed his family of 6? One bird?  If it’s a game bird other than a turkey, there’s no way you’d get enough meat for a decent meal for 6 people.  He’s full of shit.  As per usual.

With all this most recent drama going on out at the land, I’m sure Christmas is setting up to be a grand old time, NOT.  What a miserable life they have, those poor children have no peace or joy.

I wish I had not. To use an old TWOP quote that stuck with me I watched and it is as if millions of brain cells suddenly cried out and were silenced.

[FairyDusted]

3 hours ago, badhaggis said:

I wish I had not. To use an old TWOP quote that stuck with me I watched and it is as if millions of brain cells suddenly cried out and were silenced.

Awww man! How true! I needed that reminder!

[Rebecca]

On 12/22/2018 at 12:13 AM, lovesnark said:

Money Hole Road

I had forgotten about that ironic, perfect name! What a gift it’s named that! And word to your whole post.

22 hours ago, druzy said:

Please, please Santa, let her get the damn fine! Her “badassery” needs to be checked!

14 hours ago, druzy said:

Why don't you just quit? 

I’m breaking out the tiny violins 🎻 for your sociopathic ass, Jenelle. Never mind all those parents, some of whom also have mental illnesses and legit physical ones, that are working 3 minimum wage jobs so that their kids can eat and maybe get a Christmas present this year. The real bullshit is your unskilled, untalented, unprofessional, hateful and disgusting self making 6 figures and thinking its a some “tragedy” to deal with getting called out by “hatters” while being the worst person on tv and thinking your bosses owe you anything at all. Why does Jenelle (and Amber) seem so convinced the world owes her everything for doing nothing? She doesn’t seem to get that all she actually deserves is jail time and to lose custody of her kids. And a minimum wage job with the biggest asshole in the world as her boss, so she can see what it’s like to have a real job with a real boss and real consequences. You’re no one, Jenelle, and it’s a damn shame mtv has made you think otherwise.

Edited December 23, 2018 by Rebecca

[ghoulina]

So is Jenelle now trying to suck up to the OG moms since she's alienated all the ones from HER show?

[Mkay]

[Snarky McSnarky]

[Chaos Theory]

20 hours ago, kicksave said:

Why are they eating a bird? Can't they just go to the store like everyone else and get a pound of chicken breasts? There was no reason for this socio-psychopath to kill a bird for food. His  behavior with the dead bird is really off the rails. 

A friend of my sisters bought some land in the middle of nowhere and they hunt their own food.    I have no problem with hunting for dinner because the vast majority actually use more animal parts then grocery stores do.       Then again David seems the type to enjoy the killing for killing sake and will drop the animal and throw out what they don’t eat.  

[badhaggis]

4 minutes ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

And what are the rules dumb fuck? So how many fields has she mastered? Doctor, lawyer and now journalist? 

[kicksave]

3 hours ago, Chaos Theory said:

A friend of my sisters bought some land in the middle of nowhere and they hunt their own food.    I have no problem with hunting for dinner because the vast majority actually use more animal parts then grocery stores do.       Then again David seems the type to enjoy the killing for killing sake and will drop the animal and throw out what they don’t eat.  

I get that...not uncommon especially in the West and points north for people to kill deer and wild game birds for food but that wasn't a game bird he killed and it would not be enough to feed him let alone everyone else. I think that was a blackbird or a Raven...not really edible...a lot of little bones to pick out. It's disgusting. That and the squirrels he shoots and eats. I'm sorry, I just cannot get behind this psycho killing woodland creatures for sport disguised as a source of food for his family. Didn't Jeffrey Dahmer start out killing squirrels and birds???

Edited December 24, 2018 by kicksave

[TheRealT]

I think UBT made the video with the dead bird SOLELY to gin up anti-hunting hatters online so he'd have a new battle to righteously wage. So it wouldn't surprise me if he just shot some random bird or used a bird he found dead on the ground. What real hunters make a video showing off (and kissing) one small bird they bagged?

Edited December 24, 2018 by TheRealT

[lovesnark]

Merry Christmas, fellow hatters! We did the family gathering tonight  and managed to pull it off without killing any squirrels or crows. Imagine that!  My Christmas wish is the swamp things will suffer the consequences of their vile behavior and the children will be safe and have a chance at a happy, healthy life. 

I was fortunate to be raised by loving parents who worked their asses off to provide every opportunity for their children. I miss my folks every day and especially during Christmas. I may be crying a little right now. Thanks, alcohol mixed with Christmas music😂 May  Maryssa, Kaiser and Ensley some day know the security of  that unconditional love. Jace has his real mom, Barb and knows what love feels like, thank goodness!

[KittyKat133]

On 12/21/2018 at 11:47 PM, Rebecca said:

Jenelle has actually Snapchatted them watching LIVE PD and said it’s her favorite show. The only other reality show I ever want to see them on is that one! Please!!!!! let it happen!!!

Could you imagine them Snapchatting them watching live PD when Live TV bursts through the door! That would be a good one 

I’m trying to remember 

did amber and jenelle ever have beef with each other 

[Adiba]

15 hours ago, badhaggis said:

And what are the rules dumb fuck? So how many fields has she mastered? Doctor, lawyer and now journalist? 

Yeah, what is Jenelle’s problem with what has been reported? The two idiots posted a video of what happened— any rational human being can see what David did was wrong, illegal and crazy.

I wonder what David would have done if the situation were reversed and he came outside to find some nutcase towing his truck or boat trailer?

[lovesnark]

5 hours ago, Adiba said:

Yeah, what is Jenelle’s problem with what has been reported? The two idiots posted a video of what happened— any rational human being can see what David did was wrong, illegal and crazy.

I wonder what David would have done if the situation were reversed and he came outside to find some nutcase towing his truck or boat trailer?

He would have opened fire. Then lied to the police and said he interrupted someone trying to steal his truck. Then, would have lied again and said they brandished a tire iron or something so he was in fear for his life. And, his skanky ass wife would have lied for him. Not a doubt in my mind.

[BitterApple]

I have zero fucks to give about what Jenelle, Amber or any of these other girls have to say about the editing or the producers. Their lazy asses can quit and get real jobs at any time. 

It's beyond depressing to think about Jace, Maryssa, Kaiser and Ensley being stuck in that hellhole for Christmas. 

[galaxychaser]

Dude merry Christmas I got you a bag of drugs (Jennelle)

Dude Thanks eat my fist (David)

[Snarky McSnarky]

If David knew how to read, he'd like the title of this book.

[MaggieG]

On 12/21/2018 at 11:44 PM, lovesnark said:

Hahaha!!!! Someone posted on Twitter that Jenelle Instagrammed their lunch today and she had fettuccine alfredo. You can't eat before an endoscopy. Bitch is recycling pics again for sympathy #liarliaralfredoonfire

Dude, was it Olive Garden??!

[Snarky McSnarky]

Do either of their goals include the cleaning of that disgusting kitchen counter?

[CaliforniaLove]

God, "goals" is SUCH a pet peeve of mine. They are such try-hards it's hilarious. 

[ghoulina]

What is even being made in that picture?

[CaliforniaLove]

30 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

What is even being made in that picture?

A fucked up egg, and the lid to the peanut butter jar? Yeah, I got nutin'. 

[hoosiermom]

29 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

What is even being made in that picture?

Maybe they are trying to make an egg McMuffin hence the egg in the round form?

[druzy]

1 hour ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

Do either of their goals include the cleaning of that disgusting kitchen counter?

Hubby Goals-who wants a hubby who throws you to the ground, chokes you out and breaks your collarbone?

[CaliforniaLove]

2 minutes ago, druzy said:

Hubby Goals-who wants a hubby who throws you to the ground, chokes you out and breaks your collarbone?

But he makes gross looking egg concoctions!! #GOALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Christina87]

I just don't understand what she wants us all to be jealous of. I don't want a husband who makes me eggs, because I want him to be going to WORK!!! Sorry, but getting served breakfast does not make up for marrying a bum. I guess some women do get it "all," like Leah, who apparently never cooks, but still attracts hard-working men, but most women want to contribute in some way to the marriage, AND have their husband contribute. Sane people don't want to sit around all day with their non-working spouse, where neither contributes anything meaningful to the household. 

[druzy]

Sucker! Criminal Charges against UBT

 

Edited December 27, 2018 by druzy

[FlowerofCarnage]

To quote another trashy reality show:

"When you do clownery,  the clown comes back to bite!"

 

So does he have to turn himself in or do they go to Swamplandia to arrest him? 

[druzy]

1 hour ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

To quote another trashy reality show:

"When you do clownery,  the clown comes back to bite!"

 

So does he have to turn himself in or do they go to Swamplandia to arrest him? 

I'm not sure. I think if he doesn't appear on his court date the judge will issue a bench warrant for his arrest.

Summons

Edited December 27, 2018 by druzy