Lisa Vanderpump: Pink is her Favorite Color

[ryebread]

21 minutes ago, PhilMarlowe2 said:

Yes, I think there is a huge difference between thinking and expressing it. I am coming from a background of having a very sweet mother who loved me very much, but who was also incredibly emotionally manipulative and boundary-less with her emotional needs. Every situation is different, but I know full well how, well, gross it can feel when you have a mother saying things like, "My happiness depends on you" or "If you're unhappy, I'm unhappy," or "If it weren't for my kids, I would kill myself." It's too much (for me, anyway). I think the greatest gift a parent can give their son or daughter is the complete freedom to live their lives without any sense that they are in any way "responsible" for their parents' happiness. I have sensed emotional manipulation in both LVP and Yolanda (and don't even get me started on what poor Brandi's and Taylor's and Kim's kids go through - I really feel so much compassion for the burden those kids take on). As much as I often don't like her, Kyle is really the standout for me on this show as a mother who seems to genuinely love her kids and also seems to give them the space they need to be simply be themselves. I don't think I've ever heard Kyle say or do anything remotely emotionally dependent - and yet you can see how invested she is in their happiness. Even her tears in sending them off to college felt like it was about her own sadness, and not applying some covert pressure on her daughter or trying to make it all about her. This is all my opinion, of course.

Good post PM. 

The only issue I have with Kyle's parenting is that I've seen her in a papp video being a mean girl, in front of her girls.  Just being mean for no good reason.  Like, out of nowhere. I saw it once so I believe it's probably not isolated.  I don't think as a parent, you can behave like that in front of impressionable young girls (or boys) and not expect some of that to be looked at as normal - and then perpetuated - by those teens.  Lisa Rinna is another one I think behaves badly in front of her girls.  Although I've not seen it "IRL" as I have with Kyle. But somehow I have a hard time believing Rinna is able to control her vile and mean mouth at home.

[Jel]

22 minutes ago, ryebread said:

Thanks, Jel. 

Our poor kids are in for it.  They thought they were going to have light conversation with mom, today. I have utmost confidence, though, that mine will look at me after I ask, like I'm weird but with such understanding and adoration. LOL  He'll look at me like that because he's confident that I am, and always have been, crazy in love with him just like Gigi, Bella and Anwar know how Yo feels about them. That's why these sayings don't really get me hepped up (can you tell HA!)  unless someone is being held to a higher standard for saying them.

Yes, and when I ask my son about it today, I am going to ask like this: My eyes, welling up with tears, and saying, "You don't think Mummy has put too much pressure on you, do you? Because I couldn't stand even the thought of that!", as I break down into deep, guilt-inducing sobs.

(Kidding, Irreverent mom humor.)

[ryebread]

LOL Good one.  I'm stealing it. And then I'll take the lovely bracelet I'm wearing, that he gave me for Mother's Day, and begin twisting it on my wrist until my fingers are starting to turn blue while saying, "I think I would rather die than put any undue pressure on you."  Nice touch, dontcha think? 

[jinjer]

You clearly don't have teen daughters.  hahahaha. I am happy if they aren't giving me resting bitch face or yelling at me because their sister is wearing the shirt they want to wear.  A mother is only as happy as their moodiest teenage daughter. lol.

[Higgins]

3 hours ago, ryebread said:

So Lil Ryebread is now a senior in high school.

We've talked honestly about his conception (Hello, Mr. Petrie Dish!) and about the loss of his siblings.  I've actually said to him as a teen, that had it not been for his sweet little 3-year-old self when we were in the heat of all that, I don't know if I could've gone on. And I stand by that even now. It felt that bad.

IYO, is that so horrible to say? Because as I thought it, way back when - and as I said it recently, I was just expressing how deeply, deeply grateful I am for my little man.  Then and now.  

I don't think he takes it any other way than the spirit in which it is meant.  Hmm.  I'll have to ask him when he gets home from school.  I don't think Gigi, Bella and Anwar took offense or felt pressure.  It's such a head scratcher to me.

Just like with most things, it's always about the context.

[Lura]

Ryebread, you told your story so beautifully, and I'm so happy for you that yours had a happy ending!

I was also delighted and moved by LVP's Mother's Day letter to her children.  It sounded sincere and honest to me.

[RHJunkie]

I think too much is being read into LVP and Yolanda's comments. We often interpret things based on our own experiences, but if a parent is speaking about their own children, it's important to consider the context of their relationship with their children - not the context of our relationship with our own. Despite whatever flaws we want to argue about LVP and Yolanda, they both have seemingly raised mannerly and well adjusted children. However either mother has chosen to express their love and appreciation for having their children in their lives, it doesn't seem to be translated negatively on any of their children so why can't we just consider that the most important thing rather than argue about the degree of selfishness in their comments?

It's taking two women who obviously love their children very deeply and making it seem like something foul.

[ryebread]

52 minutes ago, RHJunkie said:

I think too much is being read into LVP and Yolanda's comments. We often interpret things based on our own experiences, but if a parent is speaking about their own children, it's important to consider the context of their relationship with their children - not the context of our relationship with our own. Despite whatever flaws we want to argue about LVP and Yolanda, they both have seemingly raised mannerly and well adjusted children. However either mother has chosen to express their love and appreciation for having their children in their lives, it doesn't seem to be translated negatively on any of their children so why can't we just consider that the most important thing rather than argue about the degree of selfishness in their comments?

Since I posted the double standard interpretation (imo) of the two women's words to/about their children, I want to clarify that I don't find anything wrong with what either said.  What you said is spot on and I agree wholeheartedly.

It was an effort to demonstrate that double standard. 

Quote

It's taking two women who obviously love their children very deeply and making it seem like something foul.

Exactly. Yuck, right?  That was my point.  It's slightly disturbing, to me, that Yo is called out for allegedly favoring Gigi. And then making fun of the other two by calling them Non-Gigis.  I mean, I get the humor - but not too long ago, when LVP wasn't quite so favored, I clearly remember her being called out for favoring Pandora over troubled, adopted, thrown-away Max.  

Poisoning their children, faking their illnesses, preferring a bio child over a non-bio?  I dunno.  I see no proof of any of that.  And absolutely no proof that either of these women don't adore their children.  I'm just tired of Yo being called out for being a crappy mother when the others act in ways that could make us assume the same about them.  But we don't.

[RHJunkie]

13 minutes ago, ryebread said:

Since I posted the double standard interpretation (imo) of the two women's words to/about their children, I want to clarify that I don't find anything wrong with what either said.  What you said is spot on and I agree wholeheartedly.

It was an effort to demonstrate that double standard. 

Exactly. Yuck, right?  That was my point.  It's slightly disturbing, to me, that Yo is called out for allegedly favoring Gigi. And then making fun of the other two by calling them Non-Gigis.  I mean, I get the humor - but not too long ago, when LVP wasn't quite so favored, I clearly remember her being called out for favoring Pandora over troubled, adopted, thrown-away Max.  

Poisoning their children, faking their illnesses, preferring a bio child over a non-bio?  I dunno.  I see no proof of any of that.  And absolutely no proof that either of these women don't adore their children.  I'm just tired of Yo being called out for being a crappy mother when the others act in ways that could make us assume the same about them.  But we don't.

No worries, I understood where you were coming from. If you hadn't brought it up I wouldn't have known the comments that were made about Yolanda and you're absolutely right, that is a double standard. Lots of children have troubled relationships with their parents, there's no reason to judge two mothers who have such great relationships with their own children and pick apart the sincere love they have for their children in an effort to provide yet another example of these women being 'insert whatever bad habit here'. What about either of their children suggests that we need to be concerned about their well-being and the type of parenting they received?

If there's one thing I would commend both women on, it would be that they seem like great mothers. When people are trashing on Yolanda for telling Gigi she shouldn't eat cake - that to me wasn't a woman trying to force her child into the industry. That was a woman who was supporting a daughter who wanted to work in the same industry as her and she was giving her the honest truth about what the expectations are in such industries. She let her children move across the country to pursue their careers - realistically, what could she do if they wanted to indulge in a burger? It's not like she's breeding a super skinny mentality - all of Yolanda's kids have healthy body types. Nothing alarming there.

LVP has been honest about her struggles with motivating Max. If she let him sit on his ass and handed him everything, people would say she spoils him. When she encourages strong work ethic and makes him work to earn his rewards, she's seen as favouring the biological child? Pandora had the luxury of paying her dues off camera and we get to see the aftermath of an independent, mature, hard worker now. It's just one of my things - but I won't take snippets of what we see on TV and parlay that into assumptions about how these women are as mother. That's far too personal.

[thewhiteowl]

Fact of life, people have bias and double standards. I can imagine that if Yo took time out of her busy schedule of self-care to write (write, lol) such a letter, I' d see the self-aggrandizment that I don't see here. But that's me. I'm okay with it. 

I thought it was a sweet letter and liked Lisa sharing it with us. 

[ryebread]

12 minutes ago, thewhiteowl said:

Fact of life, people have bias and double standards.

Of course.  Every individual has a line they will or will not cross when it comes to double standards or prejudices. But when it comes to Yo, or whoever the villain of the season is, that line keeps getting further and further away.  For instance:

There was talk about what a bitch move it was when Eileen imitated LVP's British accent. Also when Brandi made fun of Joyce. But Yolanda's accent is very often made fun of, and....crickets.

If there is ever an Asian HW, for instance, and she has an accent, will it be okay to make fun of that?  Or only if she's disliked?

[thewhiteowl]

2 minutes ago, ryebread said:

Of course.  Every individual has a line they will or will not cross when it comes to double standards or prejudices. But when it comes to Yo, or whoever the villain of the season is, that line keeps getting further and further away.  For instance:

There was talk about what a bitch move it was when Eileen imitated LVP's British accent. Also when Brandi made fun of Joyce. But Yolanda's accent is very often made fun of, and....crickets.

If there is ever an Asian HW, for instance, and she has an accent, will it be okay to make fun of that?  Or only if she's disliked?

Hard to say,  but if you expect the world to be fair and PC I think you are doomed to disappointment. We snark here, it's allowed. 

[ryebread]

1 minute ago, thewhiteowl said:

Hard to say,  but if you expect the world to be fair and PC I think you are doomed to disappointment. We snark here, it's allowed. 

Yep.  Not trying to discourage the snark.  Merely pointing out a different viewpoint.  It's kind of like discussing politics.  Fortunately the welfare of our country doesn't depend on our HWs. ;-)

[ElDosEquis]

1 hour ago, RHJunkie said:

LVP has been honest about her struggles with motivating Max. If she let him sit on his ass and handed him everything, people would say she spoils him. When she encourages strong work ethic and makes him work to earn his rewards, she's seen as favouring the biological child? Pandora had the luxury of paying her dues off camera and we get to see the aftermath of an independent, mature, hard worker now. It's just one of my things - but I won't take snippets of what we see on TV and parlay that into assumptions about how these women are as mother. That's far too personal.

Max gets a car

Pandy gets a 1.85 million dollar house.

I can see where she loves both kids equally?

[WireWrap]

5 minutes ago, ElDosEquis said:

Max gets a car

Pandy gets a 1.85 million dollar house.

I can see where she loves both kids equally?

Well, Max is single and Pandora is married so that may be the difference. If when Max gets married he doesn't get a nice house from Mom/Dad then, Yes, they have double standards with their children, until then, No.

[notnowimbusy]

I thought LVP made the down payment and furnished the house - didn't buy it outright.  Still a very nice gift.   I'm sure when Max settles down he will also benefit.  Right now Pandora & her husband can afford the payments, I seriously doubt Max would be able to at this point.  

I'm actually surprised at the price of the house.   Looked amazing, nice size, pool, etc., so I assumed it was valued higher.   In the SF Bay area 1.85 would get you a small fixer-upper.

[kokapetl]

I'm sure Max has a very nice apartment that his parents pay for. The gifting of the mini soft top Jeep was a little strange, Max is 24, how was he getting around LA previously?

[zoeysmom]

Max looked like he was driving an older BMW. 

[Watermelon]

1 hour ago, WireWrap said:

Well, Max is single and Pandora is married so that may be the difference. If when Max gets married he doesn't get a nice house from Mom/Dad then, Yes, they have double standards with their children, until then, No.

And also, Max is  a busboy last I heard.  He hasn't earned a house being handed to him.

[ElDosEquis]

IF I was 'given' a home by my MIL, I'd tell her gently thanks, but no thanks.

There is no way in fucking hell that I would be beholden to her - nope, no way, no how.

My mother 'helped' (hindered) all my sibs by bailing them out of HUGE pits they dug for themselves - my parents did help me, but it was always by co-signing for a loan or a hundred bucks here and there. My mom was a great gal, but she literally bought/bailed out my sibs every time.

One of the things that stuck in my craw - and still does - was a rental property my parents owned, they let my sis live there for 7 years - rent free. Whenever there was a problem - roof/plumbing/gardening - they called my parents to fix it - which meant I had to go look at it. Eventually they bought a house with all the money they saved by living off my parents.  BTW? Sis was a nurse and she was married to a cop. So I think they could have tossed a few bucks at the house?

After she died, I found receipts where she was sending my brother 2-300 dollars a month. There was also the case of my sister and some 12,000 dollar legal bill? When my sister refused to help her son in his custody battle, mom paid 5k to a lawyer who promptly quit when my sister berated her for 'not doing her job'. This is the wonderful sister that went and told my mom on her deathbed she lost some 15 thousand dollars in the crash of 08 - I passed my sis in the hallway and walked into the room with my mom in tears. Also, there were the fucking games about keeping each other out of the facility where my mom was dying.

My mom bought cars, paid bills, rent and lent money to my sibs (Please don't get the idea I am jealous, I am not, I worked for my money and managed to do alright) and managed to turn them into entitled fuckwads.

Oh and mom lies in a plot without a plaque on the gravemarker because my brother should have bought it. We bought one and aren't allowed to place it because we didn't sign the papers.

1 hour ago, zoeysmom said:

Max looked like he was driving an older BMW. 

That sucks ass, everyone in BH drives something '11 or newer?

[RHJunkie]

3 hours ago, ElDosEquis said:

Max gets a car

Pandy gets a 1.85 million dollar house.

I can see where she loves both kids equally?

Max and Pandora are not the same age and are not in the same place in their life so comparing the kind of gifts their mother gives them in real time doesn't say much (at least not to me). When Max gets married and his parents gift him with a soap box for a home, THEN I could totally get the claim of preferential treatment.

And above all else, let's not forget we see a snippet of their lives. They live their lives and spend money even when the cameras aren't rolling so we shouldn't assume that's about all Max gets.

From my own viewpoint, if I were in a position of wealth, I would likely wait until my children were older to gift them with big purchases. Avoids them being spoiled brats that always get what they want and when they're older they can appreciate the value of money better (well hopefully).

Edited May 10, 2016 by RHJunkie

[PhilMarlowe2]

6 hours ago, RHJunkie said:

I think too much is being read into LVP and Yolanda's comments. We often interpret things based on our own experiences, but if a parent is speaking about their own children, it's important to consider the context of their relationship with their children - not the context of our relationship with our own. Despite whatever flaws we want to argue about LVP and Yolanda, they both have seemingly raised mannerly and well adjusted children.

Both Yolanda and LVP have put themselves "out there" for public consumption and both have made the choice to publicize their relationships with their children to varying degrees. My personal feelings about their words and actions regarding their children come from what I have seen of these two women on the show - both show a capacity for emotional manipulation, victiming themselves and self-serving passive-aggressiveness. And, yes, I have seen streaks of that in how they deal with and speak about their children. At the end of the day, Yolanda and LVP have both been great parents in the sense that they clearly care about their kids, they haveboth shown a vested interest in their well-being, and they both work hard to create good opportunities for them. That is more than a lot of kids get. But, beyond that, what we get on the show is what they choose to show us. We have no idea how well-adjusted their children might be when it comes to their emotional lives or personal happiness. Viewers can disagree on what they see without one set "reading too much" into what is being shown. It's just differing opinions based on what these women have chosen to share with the world.

[ElDosEquis]

1 hour ago, RHJunkie said:

Max and Pandora are not the same age and are not in the same place in their life so comparing the kind of gifts their mother gives them in real time doesn't say much (at least not to me). When Max gets married and his parents gift him with a soap box for a home, THEN I could totally get the claim of preferential treatment.

And above all else, let's not forget we see a snippet of their lives. They live their lives and spend money even when the cameras aren't rolling so we shouldn't assume that's about all Max gets.

From my own viewpoint, if I were in a position of wealth, I would likely wait until my children were older to gift them with big purchases. Avoids them being spoiled brats that always get what they want and when they're older they can appreciate the value of money better (well hopefully).

I am so glad I didn't have any kids, because they would all have to hustle to get their 'things'. NOT that I wouldn't help them out with the 'starter kit' stuff - Why not put a chunk of change into a fund for the grandkids? Simpler housing? Simpler cars?  Instead of the Subaru WRX, why not a Nissan starter car? Instead of a house in BH, why not a condo in a more reasonably priced area?

The 'grand illusion' is LVP putting a pink bow on the front door and 'gifting' the joint? Is it really a gift when you saddle your kids with a mortgage payment, insurance and utilities? I am sure all the décor is LVP approved? Again, as a male and 'head of household' I'd be hard pressed to 'accept' a gift like that. Especially without having any input as to where and how I would be living.

[WireWrap]

1 minute ago, ElDosEquis said:

I am so glad I didn't have any kids, because they would all have to hustle to get their 'things'. NOT that I wouldn't help them out with the 'starter kit' stuff - Why not put a chunk of change into a fund for the grandkids? Simpler housing? Simpler cars?  Instead of the Subaru WRX, why not a Nissan starter car? Instead of a house in BH, why not a condo in a more reasonably priced area?

The 'grand illusion' is LVP putting a pink bow on the front door and 'gifting' the joint? Is it really a gift when you saddle your kids with a mortgage payment, insurance and utilities? I am sure all the décor is LVP approved? Again, as a male and 'head of household' I'd be hard pressed to 'accept' a gift like that. Especially without having any input as to where and how I would be living.

I am sure that Lisa/Ken knew that this was the house that Pandora/hubby wanted to buy and just helped them with the down payment and some furniture, not the whole deal. Much like we did for our son when he went house shopping. We gave him and his fiancé (now DIL) the down payment, a new washer/dryer and helped them buy furniture they picked out. We also helped pay for their wedding (a small 1) because her family could not help at all. They made all the decisions and we gave them X amount of money to use as they saw fit.

[Wings]

We did the same thing with both of our sons, Wirewrap.  You help within the constraints of your budget.  

[zulualpha]

3 hours ago, Watermelon said:

And also, Max is  a busboy last I heard.  He hasn't earned a house being handed to him.

Yes, posters who have been to Ken and Lisa's restaurants have seen him bussing tables.  And by all accounts, Pandora and her husband are hard workers.  I admire Lisa and Ken for resisting the urge to shower their kids with gifts.  I don't know if I could be so restrained if I had their dough, but they are absolutely going about things with their kids the right way imo.  And in a way Yolanda is instilling the same sort of work ethic as Lisa and Ken are.  Granted her kids are more high profile and their work looks a lot like fun, but modeling does involve long hours, honoring contracts, keeping in shape, travel that one may or may not enjoy etc.  It's hard work!

[zoeysmom]

Don't Jason and Pandora work for LVP and Ken?  Maybe in the grand scheme of things it is delayed compensation for their work.  I can't imagine someone could get somebody a surprise mortgage.  Sounds tome as if it as amazing gift/tax planning arrangement.

[PhilMarlowe2]

1 hour ago, ElDosEquis said:

I am so glad I didn't have any kids, because they would all have to hustle to get their 'things'. NOT that I wouldn't help them out with the 'starter kit' stuff - Why not put a chunk of change into a fund for the grandkids? Simpler housing? Simpler cars?  Instead of the Subaru WRX, why not a Nissan starter car? Instead of a house in BH, why not a condo in a more reasonably priced area?

The 'grand illusion' is LVP putting a pink bow on the front door and 'gifting' the joint? Is it really a gift when you saddle your kids with a mortgage payment, insurance and utilities? I am sure all the décor is LVP approved? Again, as a male and 'head of household' I'd be hard pressed to 'accept' a gift like that. Especially without having any input as to where and how I would be living.

My personal sense is that Jason has landed himself in a very well-appointed gilded cage.

[RHJunkie]

4 hours ago, ElDosEquis said:

I am so glad I didn't have any kids, because they would all have to hustle to get their 'things'. NOT that I wouldn't help them out with the 'starter kit' stuff - Why not put a chunk of change into a fund for the grandkids? Simpler housing? Simpler cars?  Instead of the Subaru WRX, why not a Nissan starter car? Instead of a house in BH, why not a condo in a more reasonably priced area?

The 'grand illusion' is LVP putting a pink bow on the front door and 'gifting' the joint? Is it really a gift when you saddle your kids with a mortgage payment, insurance and utilities? I am sure all the décor is LVP approved? Again, as a male and 'head of household' I'd be hard pressed to 'accept' a gift like that. Especially without having any input as to where and how I would be living.

I agree, I wouldn't want someone to purchase something as big as a house or car for me without my input. Those are things you and I would consider but we both probably have a better idea what it means to hustle in life to pay your bills, feed yourself, etc. I've never grown up around that kind of extravagant wealth and would never think that no matter what I do in life, that mom and dad would be my back up plan. Wealth isn't everything but it sure does influence our lives. I try not to judge because no matter how hard I try, I'm shaped by own experiences where it's hard for me to think of spending money in any way that isn't reasonable and functional. Even if I had all the money in the world, I would probably need a family larger than the size of a football team to ever think to spend money on a house the size of LVP's. It's absolutely stunning but how much space do 3 people need? 

[editorgrrl]

6 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

How did I miss seeing  Lisa gave Pandy a house stuff? Where are y'all seeing it?

http://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/lisa-vanderpump-buys-daughter-pandora-a-house-for-her-30th-birthday

Quote

Lisa and Ken gifted her daughter and her husband Jason Sabo with the down payment on a fully furnished home.

But the house isn't completely a gift. "This was a gift to both of them to celebrate 5 years of marriage and both of their 30th birthdays," Lisa said. "But they do now have a mortgage, so this is a gift that definitely comes with responsibilities!" 

This season, Ken wanted to open a new restaurant so Max could run it.

[ElDosEquis]

1 hour ago, RHJunkie said:

I agree, I wouldn't want someone to purchase something as big as a house or car for me without my input. Those are things you and I would consider but we both probably have a better idea what it means to hustle in life to pay your bills, feed yourself, etc. I've never grown up around that kind of extravagant wealth and would never think that no matter what I do in life, that mom and dad would be my back up plan. Wealth isn't everything but it sure does influence our lives. I try not to judge because no matter how hard I try, I'm shaped by own experiences where it's hard for me to think of spending money in any way that isn't reasonable and functional. Even if I had all the money in the world, I would probably need a family larger than the size of a football team to ever think to spend money on a house the size of LVP's. It's absolutely stunning but how much space do 3 people need? 

I think back to the first thing I bought on credit and having my dad co-sign for me. Then a motorcycle and after that I applied for my own credit. Every purchase was haggling, looking for a better deal and sweating out the details when I did. I know what it's like to live in a house without a stove and fridge for 8 months..I was poor and BBQed chicken (A real bbq, bitches) in the garage in a thunderstorm, laughing that the neighbors were going to call the fire department because of the smoke. I have lived in rice for a week, learned to make my own bread, collected cans for beer money and took a vacation from my regular job, to work outside and earn a few more dollars. I wasn't poor, but I got wealthy knowing that I would never want for lack of trying.

Wealth is waking up in the morning and being able to get out of bed, it's having a shitty job that pays for your life, it's having a shitty life and a great job? It's having people that love you and care enough to give you a call, even to break your balls. It's a pet. Wealth is .....a warm bed, a roof that doesn't leak and hot water. Wealth isn't numbers in your bank account, it's the size of your heart and the sense to protect it.....

[RedheadZombie]

What's this rule that you don't want or need a house until you're married?  What if Max doesn't want to get married?  He doesn't deserve a house?  I'm not married.  I don't have kids.  I've got a house.  Seems so old-fashioned to think it has to be otherwise.

12 hours ago, ingenting said:

I'm sure Max has a very nice apartment that his parents pay for. The gifting of the mini soft top Jeep was a little strange, Max is 24, how was he getting around LA previously?

I don't know about the apartment.  Max asked Lisa to pay his electric bill once and she told him to use candles. 

[Lura]

I smell a rat.  The last time I remember seeing Pandy and Jason on the show, they were sitting outside, having a discussion of P & J moving to NYC.  Jason wanted to move, and Pandy was in complete agreement.  Lisa, especially, and Ken were so against their moving so far away from BH. In the same show or another one, Lisa pined for a grandchild who would live nearby.  Now, they've bought the kids a house in BH!   Is this what the other HWs meant by "manipulation?"  :)  I do like Lisa and understand their reluctance to have their offspring living on the other side of the country.  I also think it's nice (in some ways) for the younger ones to be given such a generous gift.  Well, that is, until I thought about the possible real motives!  That Lisa ... always thinking!  :)

[RHJunkie]

9 hours ago, ElDosEquis said:

I think back to the first thing I bought on credit and having my dad co-sign for me. Then a motorcycle and after that I applied for my own credit. Every purchase was haggling, looking for a better deal and sweating out the details when I did. I know what it's like to live in a house without a stove and fridge for 8 months..I was poor and BBQed chicken (A real bbq, bitches) in the garage in a thunderstorm, laughing that the neighbors were going to call the fire department because of the smoke. I have lived in rice for a week, learned to make my own bread, collected cans for beer money and took a vacation from my regular job, to work outside and earn a few more dollars. I wasn't poor, but I got wealthy knowing that I would never want for lack of trying.

Wealth is waking up in the morning and being able to get out of bed, it's having a shitty job that pays for your life, it's having a shitty life and a great job? It's having people that love you and care enough to give you a call, even to break your balls. It's a pet. Wealth is .....a warm bed, a roof that doesn't leak and hot water. Wealth isn't numbers in your bank account, it's the size of your heart and the sense to protect it.....

I absolutely agree. Of course rich people may say that's what us normal folk need to say to ourselves to keep going in life, lol. Talking about this is tempting me to get into a political discussion of division of the wealth but I won't go there. All I know is that I'm perfectly fine waking up early each morning and feeling energized that each day is another day to enjoy the world around me, another day to learn something new, work toward my goals and appreciate my potential. I like having a purpose in life that's meaningful to me. I won't lie though, I wouldn't mind the riches only so that I could afford to travel the world. Though I want to travel and immerse myself in the real culture and everyday living of the locals no fake resorts and mansion hotels. Unfortunately, it's still costly to fly half way across the world even if you plan on living in a straw hut for a couple of weeks.

[ElDosEquis]

1 hour ago, RHJunkie said:

I absolutely agree. Of course rich people may say that's what us normal folk need to say to ourselves to keep going in life, lol. Talking about this is tempting me to get into a political discussion of division of the wealth but I won't go there. All I know is that I'm perfectly fine waking up early each morning and feeling energized that each day is another day to enjoy the world around me, another day to learn something new, work toward my goals and appreciate my potential. I like having a purpose in life that's meaningful to me. I won't lie though, I wouldn't mind the riches only so that I could afford to travel the world. Though I want to travel and immerse myself in the real culture and everyday living of the locals no fake resorts and mansion hotels. Unfortunately, it's still costly to fly half way across the world even if you plan on living in a straw hut for a couple of weeks.

Instead of delving into the division of 'material' wealth, let's steer it into the area of 'spiritual wealth'. Yes, it is LVP's cash to do with what she wants, but sometimes those lavish gifts just bankrupt souls. Being rich would be fun - I hate traveling because I don't want to come home - that is the ultimate torture, spending a week somewhere and having to come home.

We all wish we had the finances to gift our loved ones something special, but are we really doing it for them, or for our own conscience, pride? THAT is the part the irks the shit out of me - There is the idea that K&L 'bought' them a house and the reality that they put a down and bought furniture then turned a nice mortgage over to them.

Then there is the other bullshit like getting the story out as a tabloid piece, the pink ribbon on the door and buying the furniture - when Max is told to burn candles? We don't know the back story of the VDP kids, it's really not about them. It's about LVP being front and center?

[editorgrrl]

It's age-appropriate gifting: Pandora got the down payment on a furnished house for her 30th birthday and 5th wedding anniversary. Max got a role on Vanderpump Rules, the opportunity to work on a SUR soundtrack (he plays guitar), a Jeep, and increased responsibility at his parents' restaurants.

On RHBH, Ken said he wanted to open a new restaurant so Max could manage it. On VPR, Lisa and Ken were very concerned about the negative influence  on Max of the other cast members—especially James Kennedy.

[RHJunkie]

2 hours ago, ElDosEquis said:

Instead of delving into the division of 'material' wealth, let's steer it into the area of 'spiritual wealth'. Yes, it is LVP's cash to do with what she wants, but sometimes those lavish gifts just bankrupt souls. Being rich would be fun - I hate traveling because I don't want to come home - that is the ultimate torture, spending a week somewhere and having to come home.

We all wish we had the finances to gift our loved ones something special, but are we really doing it for them, or for our own conscience, pride? THAT is the part the irks the shit out of me - There is the idea that K&L 'bought' them a house and the reality that they put a down and bought furniture then turned a nice mortgage over to them.

Then there is the other bullshit like getting the story out as a tabloid piece, the pink ribbon on the door and buying the furniture - when Max is told to burn candles? We don't know the back story of the VDP kids, it's really not about them. It's about LVP being front and center?

Guess it really depends on the person. In LVP's case, it may not be for pride but it have its own selfish reasons beyond simply wanting to see her children happy. Apparently she purchased the home after Pandora spoke about possibly moving across the country. I guess it was a selfish purchase on her parents part to buy a home for them with the likely intention to anchor them down in an area much closer to home than NYC. LVP will naturally be front and centre because she is the celebrity figure of the family so it'll always be made to be about her. I won't suggest if that's what it's always like within their family structure. I may not be readily willing to agree on LVP's intentions when she gives such extravagant gifts or whether she treats one child better than the other but I will certainly agree that she, like most other celebrities, spend a lot of money for things that are of little substance.

I get the whole 'it's their money, they worked for it, blah blah blah' but that doesn't mean the rest of us can't have an opinion on how they spend it. We live in a day and age where the only way to fill a room with billionaires and multi-millionaires for a charity event requires spending  upwards of $100,000 to put together an extravagant event that is worthy of their presence. We live in a day and age where the the most wealthy of people who can afford to buy whatever they want are the ones that get more free things than those who can't afford it. We live in a day and age where the wealthy reap the rewards of increased productivity by pocketing the increasing profits while their employees are stuck at barely minimum wage. It's all so ridiculous.

[zoeysmom]

On ‎5‎/‎10‎/‎2016 at 8:33 AM, ElDosEquis said:

Max gets a car

Pandy gets a 1.85 million dollar house.

I can see where she loves both kids equally?

In all fairness Max can live  in his Jeep, Pandy can't drive her furnished home.  :-)

Edited May 11, 2016 by zoeysmom

[RedheadZombie]

41 minutes ago, RHJunkie said:

Guess it really depends on the person. In LVP's case, it may not be for pride but it have its own selfish reasons beyond simply wanting to see her children happy. Apparently she purchased the home after Pandora spoke about possibly moving across the country. I guess it was a selfish purchase on her parents part to buy a home for them with the likely intention to anchor them down in an area much closer to home than NYC. LVP will naturally be front and centre because she is the celebrity figure of the family so it'll always be made to be about her. I won't suggest if that's what it's always like within their family structure. I may not be readily willing to agree on LVP's intentions when she gives such extravagant gifts or whether she treats one child better than the other but I will certainly agree that she, like most other celebrities, spend a lot of money for things that are of little substance.

I get the whole 'it's their money, they worked for it, blah blah blah' but that doesn't mean the rest of us can't have an opinion on how they spend it. We live in a day and age where the only way to fill a room with billionaires and multi-millionaires for a charity event requires spending  upwards of $100,000 to put together an extravagant event that is worthy of their presence. We live in a day and age where the the most wealthy of people who can afford to buy whatever they want are the ones that get more free things than those who can't afford it. We live in a day and age where the wealthy reap the rewards of increased productivity by pocketing the increasing profits while their employees are stuck at barely minimum wage. It's all so ridiculous.

And we live in a day and age where Wal-Mart employees donate a higher percentage of their income to charity than the Walton family themselves.

To make this LVP relevant - perhaps LVP had to bribe Pandy with a house to keep her in Cali.  Last time Pandy attempted to move away, the entire Vanderpump-Todd clan was uprooted and followed her.  That can't happen because it would sabotage the reality shows.

3 hours ago, editorgrrl said:

On RHBH, Ken said he wanted to open a new restaurant so Max could manage it. On VPR, Lisa and Ken were very concerned about the negative influence  on Max of the other cast members—especially James Kennedy.

The restaurant thing surprised me, because Ken was always shown to be the more impatient and less understanding of Max's (surely because he was adopted) slacker behavior.

[WireWrap]

22 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

 

The restaurant thing surprised me, because Ken was always shown to be the more impatient and less understanding of Max's (surely because he was adopted) slacker behavior.

IMO, his "impatience" is like most fathers towards their sons, wanting/expecting their sons to grow up, not because Max is adopted. My father was far tougher on, expected more from my brothers than he ever was with we girls and all of us are his biological children.

[RedheadZombie]

31 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

IMO, his "impatience" is like most fathers towards their sons, wanting/expecting their sons to grow up, not because Max is adopted. My father was far tougher on, expected more from my brothers than he ever was with we girls and all of us are his biological children.

I wasn't saying that Ken's impatience was rooted in Max's adoption.  After all, the comment about Max's lack of ambition possibly being caused by his lack of Vanderpump-Todd blood (even though they've raised him from infancy) came from Lisa.

[WireWrap]

2 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

I wasn't saying that Ken's impatience was rooted in Max's adoption.  After all, the comment about Max's lack of ambition possibly being caused by his lack of Vanderpump-Todd blood (even though they've raised him from infancy) came from Lisa.

I think Lisa's comment about the differences between him/them is more than just his "slacker" ways but more along the lines of his overall outlook and his decisions in life (like his past drug use) because it is so different from theirs. No parent, biological or not, wants to admit, despite doing everything they can the right way, their child chose to take the wrong path, everyone looks for reasons and this is just 1 possible reason. Maybe 1 of Max's bio parents had addiction problems or mental health problems and they fear Max inheriting that genetic problem, which leaves them feeling helpless.

[RedheadZombie]

44 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

I think Lisa's comment about the differences between him/them is more than just his "slacker" ways but more along the lines of his overall outlook and his decisions in life (like his past drug use) because it is so different from theirs. No parent, biological or not, wants to admit, despite doing everything they can the right way, their child chose to take the wrong path, everyone looks for reasons and this is just 1 possible reason. Maybe 1 of Max's bio parents had addiction problems or mental health problems and they fear Max inheriting that genetic problem, which leaves them feeling helpless.

Perhaps it's not something one would find offensive unless one was adopted or adopted a child.  I am adopted.  I don't honestly care what Lisa's motivations were.  I don't care what she fears.  She said, on camera, that Max was less than, and cast blame on his foreign blood.  Nature versus nurture is a controversial topic, but I think Lisa should spend more time contemplating her parental failings, rather than implying that from birth, Max was destined to be inferior due to his DNA.

And from what I understand of Ken's life prior to Lisa, he was a pretty hard partier.  There's probably addiction issues in that DNA as well.

When you're adopted, you know as soon as you're old enough that you are "other".  No matter how your family attempts to shelter you, you suspect in some small way, that you don't belong, or you're possibly undeserving.  I can't imagine how I would have felt if either of my parents said anything even close to what Lisa said.  In fact, my parents would have eviscerated anyone for even hinting at such a thing.

Lisa has two kids.  I think if we took a poll, most parents of two children would say they're quite different.  Why can't Max and Pandy be different because they're different human beings?  Maybe they're different because Pandy is the stereotypical eldest and over-achieving child, and Max is the stereotypical indulged and babied child.  What Lisa doesn't seem to want to consider, is Max is a slacker due to his upbringing.  Max had a drug issue because he was uprooted from the French country side to the fast lane of Beverly Hills.  As Kyle said, Lisa wants to live in a fairy tale.  Perfect Pandy fits right in, Max doesn't.  Maybe Lisa feels helpless, I wouldn't know.  She looks more like someone who's trying to shrug off responsibility for a less than perfect child, by pointing the finger elsewhere.

[ryebread]

4 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

Last time Pandy attempted to move away, the entire Vanderpump-Todd clan was uprooted and followed her.  

You mean like when Max moved to Idaho and the family uprooted and followed him there?  Oh, wait...

[Wings]

9 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

Perhaps it's not something one would find offensive unless one was adopted or adopted a child.  I am adopted.  I don't honestly care what Lisa's motivations were.  I don't care what she fears.  She said, on camera, that Max was less than, and cast blame on his foreign blood.  Nature versus nurture is a controversial topic, but I think Lisa should spend more time contemplating her parental failings, rather than implying that from birth, Max was destined to be inferior due to his DNA.

 

Wow, I didn't know she said this!  How terrible.  

[RedheadZombie]

2 minutes ago, wings707 said:

 

Wow, I didn't know she said this!  How terrible.  

To be fair, this is how Lisa said it:  Pandy is ambitious and a go-getter like Lisa and Ken.  Max isn't.  Could it be because he's adopted....... perhaps.  I get the strong impression that were Max a CEO somewhere, or perphaps a cello virtuoso, Lisa wouldn't be attributing that to his biological parents.

[WireWrap]

4 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

Perhaps it's not something one would find offensive unless one was adopted or adopted a child.  I am adopted.  I don't honestly care what Lisa's motivations were.  I don't care what she fears.  She said, on camera, that Max was less than, and cast blame on his foreign blood.  Nature versus nurture is a controversial topic, but I think Lisa should spend more time contemplating her parental failings, rather than implying that from birth, Max was destined to be inferior due to his DNA.

And from what I understand of Ken's life prior to Lisa, he was a pretty hard partier.  There's probably addiction issues in that DNA as well.

When you're adopted, you know as soon as you're old enough that you are "other".  No matter how your family attempts to shelter you, you suspect in some small way, that you don't belong, or you're possibly undeserving.  I can't imagine how I would have felt if either of my parents said anything even close to what Lisa said.  In fact, my parents would have eviscerated anyone for even hinting at such a thing.

Lisa has two kids.  I think if we took a poll, most parents of two children would say they're quite different.  Why can't Max and Pandy be different because they're different human beings?  Maybe they're different because Pandy is the stereotypical eldest and over-achieving child, and Max is the stereotypical indulged and babied child.  What Lisa doesn't seem to want to consider, is Max is a slacker due to his upbringing.  Max had a drug issue because he was uprooted from the French country side to the fast lane of Beverly Hills.  As Kyle said, Lisa wants to live in a fairy tale.  Perfect Pandy fits right in, Max doesn't.  Maybe Lisa feels helpless, I wouldn't know.  She looks more like someone who's trying to shrug off responsibility for a less than perfect child, by pointing the finger elsewhere.

No one knows what cause Max's drug use, no one, as it hasn't been address in depth on the show by anyone.

Where is it said that Ken was a "was a pretty hard partier"? I have not read that anywhere and I would like to see it myself nor have I read that either he or Lisa ever had addiction issues.

We have no idea how open Lisa/Ken and Max are about his adoption, none, it is possible that they have had these discussion before and I doubt that she/Ken would just throw it out there without Max's permission/support. How you feel may not be how he feels. The scene where Lisa/Max talk about his adoption/bio mother seemed relaxed, honest and not something foreign/new to them.

As for nature verses nurture, my sweet DIL has a family riddled with addiction throughout both sides of her family and it is a concern she/our son share for their daughter/future children.....Very. Real. Fear. and it is something they have to watch for even though neither drinks or does drugs themselves. Sometimes nature is stronger than nurture.

[RedheadZombie]

3 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

No one knows what cause Max's drug use, no one, as it hasn't been address in depth on the show by anyone.

Where is it said that Ken was a "was a pretty hard partier"? I have not read that anywhere and I would like to see it myself nor have I read that either he or Lisa ever had addiction issues.

We have no idea how open Lisa/Ken and Max are about his adoption, none, it is possible that they have had these discussion before and I doubt that she/Ken would just throw it out there without Max's permission/support. How you feel may not be how he feels. The scene where Lisa/Max talk about his adoption/bio mother seemed relaxed, honest and not something foreign/new to them.

As for nature verses nurture, my sweet DIL has a family riddled with addiction throughout both sides of her family and it is a concern she/our son share for their daughter/future children.....Very. Real. Fear. and it is something they have to watch for even though neither drinks or does drugs themselves. Sometimes nature is stronger than nurture.

No one would even know Max has used drugs, if Lisa didn't share it on camera.

I've been reading here for years that Ken was a very hard partier.  I never said, nor do I have any reason to believe, that Lisa had drug issues.

It seems unlikely that Max gave his permission and support for his mother comparing him unfavorably to his sister, and suggesting it's due to his DNA.  God, who would support something like that??

I believe you about your grandchild, but I bet she's not told she has a ticking time bomb in her DNA, or her short comings are the fault of her mother's family.  But obviously, I don't know.

Edited May 11, 2016 by RedheadZombie

[WireWrap]

6 minutes ago, wings707 said:

 

Wow, I didn't know she said this!  How terrible.  

No, she did not say that. She talked about how different he was from her/Ken/Pandora and that some of it may be because he was adopted because they raised them the same way.

1 minute ago, RedheadZombie said:

No one would even know Max has used drugs, if Lisa didn't share it on camera.

I've been reading here for years that Ken was a very hard partier.  I never said, nor do I have any reason to believe, that Lisa had drug issues.

I have never read that here or on any other site except when people confuse him with the former pro soccer player, which still happens time to time.

[WireWrap]

12 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

 

I believe you about your grandchild, but I bet she's not told she has a ticking time bomb in her DNA, or her short comings are the fault of her mother's family.  But obviously, I don't know.

Well, she is only 4 years old, so no one is talking to her about it yet. That said, both my son and DIL will go into detail with her about the addiction problems in the family so that she will know that she could be predisposed to addiction herself when age appropriate, it is something my DIL herself has had to face about her own mother/father/aunt/uncles/grandfather and because she actually faced it, she is alert to the reality it exists. Better she, my GD, know the truth than not know. Letting my GD know this information doesn't mean that they blame/hate/dislike/not love that side of the family, it means they are giving her as much information as possible to help her avoid the pitfalls/frailty that she very well could face down the road, especially since she doesn't see that side of the family all that often for obvious reasons and we tend to rarely drink alcohol and don't do drugs illegally either.

I guess I look at this way, if we had a history of Breast Cancer in the family, I would want my GD to be made aware of it, start getting checkups early, be vigilant that the BC gene could have been passed to her, or any other genic medical condition, just as much as an addiction gene. It is not blaming 1 side verses another, it is giving my GD as much information as possible to live a long happy, healthy life. Oh, and had it been my family with that addiction history, I would feel just as strongly about her knowing the family history. Knowledge is power.