Kandi's Wedding: Going to the Chapel and... Mama Joyce is Pissed.

[swankie]

Iyanla had no luck with Sheree; MJ would be another fail.

 

A narcissist is never going to admit they have a problem.  It would be against their belief that they are the end all be all of existence.  They really and truly believe they are perfect and therefore don't need fixing.

 

Kandi said that Joyce is one of 14 children.  I can just imagine the force Kandi's dad had to fight against while married to Joyce.  It's probably why he went AWOL from Kandi's life. 

[quinn]

I have a hard time believing Todd is an opportunist, as I would think that he might be more hurt professionally by all of the shenanigans going on. I hope he continues his own career, and not get caught in business partnerships with Kandi. I realize financial wealth is a marker of success, and maybe off-screen, Kandi is the height of professionalism. Based on this show, though? No bueno. I wouldn't be persuaded to partner with or purchase much of anything from her enterprises.

In addition, I've known men who tolerate all kinds of foolywang from the women they love, and the in-laws. Women aren't the only ones who make poor decisions while in love. If Todd didn't have his own thing going on before he met Kandi, maybe I could see the "looking for a come-up" angle. But given the pre-nup, he's not exactly set to be rolling in her dough upon their marriage. I'm sure he'll benefit in some way financially from the marriage (which, I have no problem with), but I'm not really seeing him as the "bum looking for a sugar mama" type.

I still want to see where these two are in five years. I can't see the lack of boundaries and respect not taking a toll on their marriage.

I stand by my observation that Todd's an opportunist (which I don't think is a bad thing), but I think that you are inferring things about my definition of opportunist. I don't think that Todd's a gold digger, I stated in my previous post that I think that both he and Kandi are putting up with Joyce because she is good reality TV and they are parlaying the exposure they are getting on the show to build / expand their own businesses.

I think that Todd loves Kandi, I am not trying to imply that if Kandi did not have wealth and fame that Todd would not have given her the time of day. However love is not always enough, and as previously mentioned, love or not, if Kandi was the neighborhood hairdresser with her MJ baggage, IMO Todd would not have gone the distance, i.e., put a ring on it. To me "foolywang for love" is a vegan letting his mother-in-law take over the kitchen during the holidays to create culinary delights like chitterlings, it is NOT letting some woman go around publicly calling your father and mother a pimp and a prostitute, or calling your mother low-class - I don't recall the exact words, but that is what Mama Joyce said about Todd's mother at the reunion.

 

I don't think Todd is an opportunist trying to take advantage of Kandi.  I think Todd and Kandi are using Mama Joyce's crazy to advance their professional goals.  Debuting the play while focusing on the Joyce issues on RHOA is genius cross marketing.

I agree with your characterization that "Todd and Kandi are using Mama Joyce's crazy to advance their professional goals," and to me that is opportunism. I think that Kandi is being an opportunist too, among other things, but Joyce and Kandi's relationship is multi-faceted, so there are other things at play as well. Edited June 10, 2014 by quinn

[BestestAuntEver]

I think that in the late 1970's and early 1980's young twenty an thirty something men just did not file visitation or custody petitions for whatever reason. Back then was not like it is today when the baby is barely out of the womb and men are filing for custody or visitation.

That's my take as well. I'm 38, my bio-dad & mom split around the age os 2 he left for the military & I didn't see or hear from him until I was around 12. I saw him because we lived in Ohio at the time & my mom would send me down south for a month in the summer in order to spend time with both sets of grandparents & cousins. He had recently moved back to the are with his wife & kids. I remember the battle of wills we had over the following 3-4 years trying to figure each other out everytime I visited my grandparents.

I remember people telling my mom how nice she was to allow me to spend time & have contact with my paternal side. I now understand what they meant. Visitation & relationship building wasn't gauranteed.

I don't think Kandi understands how mind fucked she is by Joyce. She definately doesn't understand that others aren't going to put up with Joyce's nasty BS by laughing & shrugging it off.

Joyce's horrible attitude when Kandi asked her to walk her down the isle was simply mean & vindictive. I would have been done with Joyce a long time ago.

I don't know what I'm going to do with Kandi, if she has an attitude with Todd's mom calling Joyce out. Joyce has been calling this woman a hoe, prostitute & opportunist on national tv & Kandi hasn't done anything to dispell it.

Could anyone tell what Apollo's shirt said? All I could get was the NP at the top with Nida just below. I could never see what was below the Nida.

[Lucygirl2]

Apollo's shirt said Nida Fitness & I think the "NP" was NIDA with part of letters becoming other letters.  I noticed the first stroke in the N had a dot over it making it an I, the P was probably a D & there was a line across the I\ of the N making it an A.  Pathetic as it is I paused the TV to figure it out.

 

I also wanted to chime in about custody in the early 80s, people just didn't run to court over every single thing back then & women had preferential rights.  It isn't hard to just not have Kandi there when Titus came to pick her up.  He might have felt his hands were tied.

 

According to how old Kandi was & the length of her parents marriage, I am wondering if Kandi's brother isn't from the same dad?  Wasn't he several years older than Kandi? 

[islandgal]

I am just shocked that Mama Joyce has been able to hide her crazy so well on camera for so many seasons. People were cheering her on her 1st season on and she seemed to be a voice of reason. She went from that to raving loon seemingly overnight.

 

In the battle of the truths, the story goes that it is usually somewhere in the middle. Having been exposed to Mama Joyce planning to entrap Todd, believing the gossip on the streets from any old fool is the gospel according to Matthew, I think the truth probably is closer to Kandi's dad version. Do I think it is the 100% truth? NO. But being one of the jury members in the court of public opinion trying to figure out who is the most reliable - I'm going with Daddy. However, I look at him sideways because a man who truly wants to be a part of his child's life would have fought for it. I feel like he just shrugged and said 'aw, fuck it!" and left his daughter to be raised by a viper.  

 

"I was just having a Porsha moment" - oh goodness! LOL!

[Misslindsey]

I still like Kandi though she does have her faults. I think Kandi could say anything to Joyce, and Joyce wouldn't care, because Joyce does not seem to hear anything anyone says except when it is Todd bashing. Hell, Joyce did not seem to care when Kandi was crying when Joyce said Kandi's ring was not good enough. I am waiting to see how this whole wedding special plays out. 

 

At the reunion didn't Joyce complain that Kandi sort of cut her off/scaled down when she just gave her $700 a month or am I misremembering? That is when she used Kandi's name for credit cards and stuff. Kandi might be responding to her mom off camera, and well, maybe not.

[WimminWinning]

 

I also wanted to chime in about custody in the early 80s, people just didn't run to court over every single thing back then & women had preferential rights.  It isn't hard to just not have Kandi there when Titus came to pick her up.  He might have felt his hands were tied.

 

In general, that may have been true for most folks back then, but I don't think that's the case with the Burruss family as they did go to court for every little thing. If Titus' is to be believed, they were in court for this restraining order situation. A "normal" family in the 80's probably wouldn't have bothered with the courts for restraining orders unless it's a life or death situation (and I'm sure it wasn't for the Burruss'), but this family did. He had to have showed up to family court for that. And he paid child support (MJ said he paid $300/month), so he's been through court over this because child support is handled in conjunction with custody/visitation. Also, custody and visitation rights are usually handled during divorce proceedings, so he wouldn't have had to run to the court specifically for custody - that comes with the divorce when you negotiate about who gets the house, car, and 401k.

 

He knew where MJ lived and he knew where Kandi went to school. He clearly didn't try. The man gets no passes from me for not seeing his child - even if it was the 80's.

 

I think that the Pastor's lack of visitation has less to do with MJ's crazy and more to do with a socialization of Black men to be absentee fathers after they break from the mothers. That shit seemed to have started in the 70's/80's - or at least that's when I started hearing kids brag about having a father around like that's something special (unfortunately, it was). The popular excuse from these absentee fathers is that their "crazy" baby mama won't let them see their child. That was rarely ever true.

[kassa]

I guess it's easy enough to prove if he can come up with a copy of the restraining order (or some internet sleuth does so).  MJ swore on her son's grave about it.  Wonder if that would shift Kandi's mind.

 

I have no use for Iyanla after watching her methods on Starting Over.  However, if she were to stick MJ in a cage, as she did one unfortunate Starting Over houseguest, in order to teach her something or other... that I'd tune in for.

 

In fact, that's where she should have spent Kandi's wedding -- in a cage next to the lion.  She'd have outsnarled him.

[CaughtOnTape]

I think Kandi could say anything to Joyce, and Joyce wouldn't care, because Joyce does not seem to hear anything anyone says except when it is Todd bashing. 

 

She does this because Kandi has not hit her where it hurts yet.  If Kandi were to walk away and take her money with her, MJ would be quick to start apologizing.  Which is sad.  For all the talking MJ does about other people being after Kandi for her money, it seems she's the first in line.

MJ doesn't care because she hasn't been put in her place concerning it.  If people were to start walking away from her and leaving her out of things when she starts with her bullshit, she might start to see the light.  I'm a big believer in you teach people how to treat you and it's clear that Kandi has taught her mother it's ok to treat her like shit.  Kandi is weak...which is not something I ever thought I'd say.  She was weak concerning how she handled things with Carmon and she's weak with her mother and her aunts.  We've also seen her weakness when she dealt with Todd possibly moving away and she immediately started crying.  God help Riley if she ever witnesses any of this weakness and thinks that's how people should be treated.

 

I know one thing, had my mother been that mean and vindictive to me about my request to walk me down the aisle?  She'd have been told to stay at home then.  MJ has made it clear she's going to sit through that wedding with a sneer on her face, making it look like she's holding her tongue to keep Kandi on her toes the whole day.  This is Kandi's wedding and if all she's going to do is keep Kandi wondering whether or not she'll explode?  Stay the fuck home...old bat.

Edited June 10, 2014 by CaughtOnTape

[drivethroo]

This is my theory/speculation on Joyce/Titus/Kandi/Sisters:

 

Titus was Husband #2 or Husband #3. (I don't think Titus was the father of Kandi's brother)

 

Titus didn't like the Sisters all up in his house drinking and smoking and carrying on.  Sometimes a man just wants to come home and "just be" in his house without extra people there all the time.  For example, see: Kordell, Porsha, Porsha's siblings, Mama Diane and eating pizza on white furniture in Kordell's master bedroom.

 

Titus is/was a pastor. 

 

Pastors get just as much panties thrown at them as any rock/rap star.

 

Sisters "heard in the street" that Sister So N So was having an affair with/throwing herself at Titus.  Or maybe they saw it for themselves.

 

Sisters runteldat to Joyce

 

Joyce & Titus fight

 

Joyce & Titus divorce

 

Joyce & Sisters vs. Titus when he tried to come see Kandi

 

Joyce hides gifts, cards etc. from Titus to Kandi.  She doesn't hide that child support check, though.

 

Joyce/Sisters claim to have a restraining order on Titus.  Or perhaps the restraining order are Joyce & the Sister's brothers (or Joyce's new man).  Titus doesn't want to deal with Evil Mama & Evil Sisters (or new man), so he stops coming around.  Still pays child support though.

 

Titus takes up with New Woman & has new set of kids.  Joyce is not happy with this and fills Kandi's head about how Titus didn't want her.  Maybe even pockets some of the child support checks as Joyce Support Checks and makes Kandi believe Titus isn't even paying child support.

 

 

That's just my speculation.  I think both Joyce & Titus are telling the truth as they see it.

 

Joyce & Em were so nasty & so rude to Titus that he washed his hands of the situation and Kandi was not worth it to Titus to deal with Joyce/Sisters.

[ZaldamoWilder]

drivethroo, word up to your whole post.  

 

If he really did make the decision that seeing Kandi wasn't worth the hassle it cause, he owes her an apology, he could've have been the Kandi's sane place to land.  Not fighting hard enough or simply being lazy and leaving a shitty mom to raise your child is a shitty thing to do and if he did this he owes her the entire truth accompanied by an unlimited number of apologies.

[cooksdelight]

 

She went from that to raving loon seemingly overnight.

 

 

I have to believe this is all for TV. I hope so. Otherwise, Kandi is as batshit crazy as her mother to put up with this.

[jumper sage]

Cooksdelight - I agree with you.  This has to be a "scripted" show.  There is no way in hell any woman would sit there quietly while their mother is calling her fiancé's father a pimp.  That whole discussion was disgusting.  It any part of that is true, then I predict Kandi to be a very lonely person in the future.

[kellygreen]

Mama Joyce is a narcissist. The woman is textbook! http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html

 

I've always found Joyce to be toxic. The way she behaved at Kandi's 35th birthday parthy was classic narcissist behavior. She ruined Kandi's birthday. The way she carried on after Ridickulous made his appearance was totally a ploy for attention and a way to take the focus off of Kandi at her own party. Joyce carried on to the point that she had Kandi outside on the street begging for her mother's forgivness and for her to stay and not leave the party. It was embarrassing and totally manipulative behavior. If she didn't like the stripper, she could have quietly removed herself from the situation. No, instead she had to admonish Kandi in front of everyone and let everyone know that the fact that she was offended was more important than Kandi's birthday. And last night, when she would not committ to walking Kandi down the aisle, we saw, yet again, what a narcissist she is. Joyce feeds off of tormenting her daughter emotionally. And it's been going on fo so long, Kandi doesn't even understand what's happening.

 

I give Kandi and Todd two years, tops. Kandi won't ever stand up to her mother because her loyalties lie with her mom, not her husband. And that's a recipe for disaster. Kandi does not know how to be a wife and is not, and most likely won't ever be, ready to be a wife. The idea that one leaves their parents to start their own life with their chosen partner is a foreign concept to her. She doesn't understand that her partner in life is Todd, not her mother. Kandi has no qualms about shutting Todd down if he dares say anything "disrespectful" towards Mama Joyce. But Mama Joyce can sit there and denigrate Todd and his parents right in front of Kandi's face and she does NOTHING to stop her mom from doing it. I don't see Todd sticking around for long once he fully realizes that Kandi won't ever put the health of her marriage above placating her mommy at every turn.

 

I see Kandi as an emotionally abused child and she needs serious therapy.

Edited June 12, 2014 by kellygreen

[ribboninthesky1]

I stand by my observation that Todd's an opportunist (which I don't think is a bad thing), but I think that you are inferring things about my definition of opportunist. I don't think that Todd's a gold digger, I stated in my previous post that I think that both he and Kandi are putting up with Joyce because she is good reality TV and they are parlaying the exposure they are getting on the show to build / expand their own businesses.

I think that Todd loves Kandi, I am not trying to imply that if Kandi did not have wealth and fame that Todd would not have given her the time of day. However love is not always enough, and as previously mentioned, love or not, if Kandi was the neighborhood hairdresser with her MJ baggage, IMO Todd would not have gone the distance, i.e., put a ring on it. To me "foolywang for love" is a vegan letting his mother-in-law take over the kitchen during the holidays to create culinary delights like chitterlings, it is NOT letting some woman go around publicly calling your father and mother a pimp and a prostitute, or calling your mother low-class - I don't recall the exact words, but that is what Mama Joyce said about Todd's mother at the reunion.

 

In your original post, you distinctly called out Todd as an opportunist, not Kandi. Which is what I was responding to.  You have your opinion, I have mine.  We have differing views on what men put up with for love, which is fair.  My main point is that people put up with all kinds of crap if they love someone.  They may not do it forever, but Todd and Kandi haven't been together that long, either.  If I were in Todd's position, I would have cut my losses and ended things when Kandi didn't check Joyce early on.  But love can also be blind, deaf, and dumb, and I think that's what we're seeing thus far. 

 

I admittedly skip through parts of the show, so I may have missed it - what businesses do Todd and Kandi have together? Are they producing other plays or productions? I know Kandi has several hustles going on, but I thought other than her play, they preceded Joyce showing her true colors.  I'm just wondering how they're profiting off of Joyce's antics.  BRAVO might be loving the ratings and benefits from them, but I don't know how that translates into opportunity for Kandi and Todd.

 

drivethroo, word up to your whole post.  

 

If he really did make the decision that seeing Kandi wasn't worth the hassle it cause, he owes her an apology, he could've have been the Kandi's sane place to land.  Not fighting hard enough or simply being lazy and leaving a shitty mom to raise your child is a shitty thing to do and if he did this he owes her the entire truth accompanied by an unlimited number of apologies.

 

This is what I was trying to say.  I feel like fathers get a pass on being a parent after breaking from the mother, presumably because, even today, mothers usually get primary custody (or assumed to get it). But a father is a parent as well, and is just as responsible for the well-being of the child. 

 

To WimminWinning's point, I think that, because of gender roles and expectations in parenting, it's more socially acceptable for men to cease their role as parent because they're no longer involved with the mother.  And I suspect that's what happened with Kandi's dad.  It happens and it's unfortunately common, but I'm not putting his failure(s) as a parent at Joyce's feet, either.  Nothing wrong with owning up to mistakes you've made - like I said, it's human.    

 

Granted, it's possible there are some other details we're not privy to, including evidence of him fighting for Kandi.  But unless those details are shared on the show, he still gets the side-eye from me.

[SunTheen]

A narcissist is never going to admit they have a problem. It would be against their belief that they are the end all be all of existence. They really and truly believe they are perfect and therefore don't need fixing.

Kandi said that Joyce is one of 14 children. I can just imagine the force Kandi's dad had to fight against while married to Joyce. It's probably why he went AWOL from Kandi's life.

Exactly. MJ will never ever change. The woman is a class-A narcissist. I have lost a ton of respect for Kandi for not handling that. It was one thing from what we saw in the beginning, but quite another once MJ started accusing Todd's parents of being hookers and pimps.

Why Todd married her and puts up with it, I will never understand. Love can only get you so far.

MJ needs to be committed. Eta: and I am half inclined to believe Kandi's father.

Edited June 11, 2014 by SunTheen

[ToukieSmith]

 

I am just shocked that Mama Joyce has been able to hide her crazy so well on camera for so many seasons. People were cheering her on her 1st season on and she seemed to be a voice of reason. She went from that to raving loon seemingly overnight.

 

 Occasional appearances were beneficial to Joyce.  We are seeing her more often now.  Plus, I think she is threatened by Kandi and Todd's relationship.  Her delusional ass really thinks that Todd is going to come between Joyce and Kandi's checkbook.

[FozzyBear]

This is how shady I think Mama Joyce is: when she asked Kandi if her father told her why he never gave her birthday or Christmas presents my very first thought was that he probably did and Mama Joyce took off the card and told Kandi the gifts were from her.

[beesknees]

I hate Mama Joyce but it is now official.  I hate Kandi with the fire of a thousand suns for not standing up to and reeling in her mother.  Of course MJ cannot be reeled in therefore Kandi must put consequences in place for her mother's bad behavior.  Kandi is obviously ill equipped to do so.  She needs to go to a REAL therapist (not that counselor guy that Kandi and MJ went to on the show - he was useless) but a real therapist that can teach Kandi how to set boundaries and create effective strategies to deal with her mother.  Kandi frustrates me to no end.

[ToukieSmith]

This is how shady I think Mama Joyce is: when she asked Kandi if her father told her why he never gave her birthday or Christmas presents my very first thought was that he probably did and Mama Joyce took off the card and told Kandi the gifts were from her.

It would not surprise me if Joyce kept the gifts for herself.

Edited June 11, 2014 by ToukieSmith

[cooksdelight]

The mere fact that MJ brought up the missing gifts tells me, personally, that she either regifted them as hers, or she threw them out. The woman is vile. And Kandi is no better for letting her get away with it. If this was anyone else... say, Halle Berry or Sandra Bullock... and we were watching them in this same scenario.... would they let this shit fly? Hell, no!

[MMLEsq]

I hate Mama Joyce but it is now official.  I hate Kandi with the fire of a thousand suns for not standing up to and reeling in her mother.  Of course MJ cannot be reeled in therefore Kandi must put consequences in place for her mother's bad behavior.  Kandi is obviously ill equipped to do so.  She needs to go to a REAL therapist (not that counselor guy that Kandi and MJ went to on the show - he was useless) but a real therapist that can teach Kandi how to set boundaries and create effective strategies to deal with her mother.  Kandi frustrates me to no end.

I don't hate Kandi.  I feel sorry for her.  I don't know if I can keep watching this show because it's just too depressing.  The time leading up to your wedding should be joyful (well, maybe a little bit stressful with all the planning), but you should be happy. 

 

Titus seemed like a decent guy -- whether it's real or an act, who knows?  But I bet if Todd has any say in which of Kandi's parents he'd rather have over for dinner or the holidays, he'd pick Titus every time.   

 

It seemed to me that Todd never disputed that his father was a pimp, so I'm thinking there might be a little truth to that story.  But, even so, why bring it up?  It was a long time ago -- the only point in mentioning it now was to embarrass Todd and his family (and I guess Kandi, by extension for marrying into the family) and make them look bad.  I guess MJ is just so determined to spew forth her venom that she either doesn't realize or doesn't care that she's coming off looking worse than they do.

[Sims Addict]

I am just shocked that Mama Joyce has been able to hide her crazy so well on camera for so many seasons. People were cheering her on her 1st season on and she seemed to be a voice of reason. She went from that to raving loon seemingly overnight.

 I agree. That makes me wonder what is the truth--the psych case we see now or the seemingly normal woman in Season 1? It also brings up the question that it's quite possible she might have done the switcheroo on Titus; being sensible at first and then irrational and vengeful later on.

[Iguessnot]

I despise the coven because in a different place or time, they would get others hurt or killed with their rumor mongering. They are so bad that it doesn't even matter where they "heard" something because they will spread anything negative because that's their nature. Even if they stand over their cauldron stirring up crap of their own imagination, they will put it out as the truth. Although one of the witches apologized to Kandi, the other aunt was still hollering about how she thought Todd's mom talked too much.

[Sheenieb]

http://madamenoire.com/437833/apollo-nida-gives-advice-to-todd/

 

Who forgot to pick up Apollo? Can someone go get him, please.

[FozzyBear]

I agree. That makes me wonder what is the truth--the psych case we see now or the seemingly normal woman in Season 1? It also brings up the question that it's quite possible she might have done the switcheroo on Titus; being sensible at first and then irrational and vengeful later on.

I'm not sure I ever thought Mama Joyce was sane. From the get-go she seemed like she lacked any real boundaries with Kandi. Someone brought up her storming out of Kandi's birthday party because she was sooooo offended by the stripper. I don't like strippers either, although my problem is less moral and more that I think strippers always seem greasy, but to get indignant about what a 35 year old does at her birthday party? Yeah. Plus I remember always feeling like she had an unhealthy obsession with grown up Kandi who has been in the music buisnesd for close to 20 years being taken advantage of, which always read to me as concerned someone else might get a piece of the pie. I also remember Kandi saying in her first season something to the effect that it never even occurred to her that her child's father would be around. I remembered it because it wasn't specific to the guy, just a general sense of it never occurred to her to look for good "father qualities" in a man because it never occurred to her to involve a man in parenting. No offense to any single moms out there, but it did make me wonder about Kandi's childhood and how her own mother viewed men. I think Mama Joyce seemed more tolerable before because she wasn't a major focus of TRHOA. I'm maybe a bit surprised at the depth of her crazy, but I'm not really surprised at the fact of her crazy.

Edited June 12, 2014 by FozzyBear

[cooksdelight]

Who forgot to pick up Apollo? Can someone go get him, please.

He cannot be sent to the big house fast enough.

[ZaldamoWilder]

http://madamenoire.com/437833/apollo-nida-gives-advice-to-todd/

 

Who forgot to pick up Apollo? Can someone go get him, please.

 

“I’m still educated. Just because you go through situations in life, it doesn’t matter. I get informative information from homeless people…who better to ask something to than someone who’s not casting a bias opinion?”

 

.....about um, how to be homeless or how not to be?   just me?  mmmkay. 

 

whoever's driving the town car to hell this morning, could you swing by about 10?

[cooksdelight]

"informative information".... adding that to phyicality, juvial, dookie, and all the other words in my ApolloSpeak dictionary....

[Sheenieb]

Let's not forget my personal favorite, "the sector of the time scale."

[ZaldamoWilder]

cooks and sheenie, we'll be by to pick you up at 10:45 and 11:00, respectively.

[cooksdelight]

What I find sort of fascinating, in a drive-by kind of way, is that Kandi is such good friends with Phaedra, yet in all the photos she posts.... there's Apollo. No Phaedra. Weird she'd let that criminal hang out with her and her family/friends.

[kassa]

 

What I find sort of fascinating, in a drive-by kind of way, is that Kandi is such good friends with Phaedra, yet in all the photos she posts.... there's Apollo. No Phaedra. Weird she'd let that criminal hang out with her and her family/friends.

I like Kandi, but if she was willing to marry a drug dealer, hanging out with an identity thief probably wouldn't make her bat an eyelash.

[Sheenieb]

You know, I hope I'm wrong, but I don't know if Kandi & Todd are in this for the long haul. She still doesn't get it.

 

http://madamenoire.com/438229/todd-and-his-mom/

[ribboninthesky1]

I don't understand Kandi's logic about Todd's reaction - "your mom said stuff about my mom, and I didn't want to be going back and forth..." like, what does that have to do with the price of eggs? And did she really think that Todd and his mother would be cool with discovering, by watching the show, that Joyce called her a ho? What now? And why is she acting all exasperated that Todd and his mom were upset? Fool, how did you think they would react? 

 

I can't with Kandi and her dysfunctional mentality.  I just hope Riley comes out of all that unscathed.  That family is a clusterfuck of no boundaries, narcissism, emotional abuse, and co-dependency.  And I hope Todd is getting a clear picture of just how twisted these people are.   

Edited June 12, 2014 by ribboninthesky1

[Talented Tenth]

The next time Kandi wants to get on her high horse concerning what NeNe said about her momma I hope that Bravo replays the shit out of the clip of what Joyce said about Todd's mother.

 

I'm so done with Kandi's "I'm above all of this" nonsense she tries to play off with the other HoWives.  She is no better.  In fact, she's probably worse.  She's a hypocrite.

 

None of us are responsible for what other people do except for sometimes, minor children.  Kandi isn't responsible for what Joyce does.  Even if NeNe had been 100% correct about Joyce, NeNe was in no position to throw stones when she has a troubled son and wouldn't want anyone discussing him.  What Joyce does has absolutely nothing to do with NeNe.

[CaughtOnTape]

None of us are responsible for what other people do except for sometimes, minor children.  Kandi isn't responsible for what Joyce does.  Even if NeNe had been 100% correct about Joyce, NeNe was in no position to throw stones when she has a troubled son and wouldn't want anyone discussing him.  What Joyce does has absolutely nothing to do with NeNe.

What?

 

That's not what I said.  Kandi made a spectacle of going off about how NeNe should've kept her big mouth shut about her mother but then asked that Todd keep his mouth shut about what Joyce said about his mother.  

 

But ok.

[FozzyBear]

None of us are responsible for what other people do except for sometimes, minor children. Kandi isn't responsible for what Joyce does. Even if NeNe had been 100% correct about Joyce, NeNe was in no position to throw stones when she has a troubled son and wouldn't want anyone discussing him. What Joyce does has absolutely nothing to do with NeNe.

True, but Kandi is responsible for her own behavior and part of that is playing into the dysfunction that Mama Joyce creates whenever she comes into a room. I wouldn't expect someone to cut off their mother (or children or whomever) for my benefit. In the other hand if someone has a mother who constantly calls me a whore or steals or just crests general drama and they keep dragging that mother into my home or life and then expect me to play the "oh Mama's just so crazy! Ha ha!" game and actually get upset if I try to stand up for myself? Well at a certain point that becomes thier behavior they are responsible for.

[Neurochick]

I can't with Kandi and her dysfunctional mentality.  I just hope Riley comes out of all that unscathed.  That family is a clusterfuck of no boundaries, narcissism, emotional abuse, and co-dependency.

 

This reminds me of a situation a friend of mine is in.  Her mother-in-law can't stand her, which is her right; but when she started badmouthing her in front of her son (my friend's husband), friend's husband put his foot down and told his mom not to say bad things about his wife, that she is the woman he chose to marry and too bad if his mom can't deal with that.  Did mother-in-law back off?  Not really, but she won't talk shit about my friend in front of her son.  Girlfriend didn't want to come between her husband and his mom, but she didn't want to be abused either.

 

I think the issue with Kandi and her mom and her family is this:  Kandi feels that Joyce will ALWAYS be her mother, and that her aunts will always be her aunts, and that her blood family will always be her blood family.  She, however doesn't know that Todd will always be her husband.  That sounds crazy, but I do know people who feel that way, blood is thicker than water.

[cooksdelight]

Kandi has gone from being a smart, independent business woman to a groveling, weak, sniveling girl, in my eyes. I've taken this off my DVR, it makes my blood pressure go up to see her being so stupid. I don't understand why she cannot see that her mother is disrespecting her, is only in it for Kandi's money, and for her own 15 minutes of fame, in my opinion.

 

I just can't watch anymore.

[swankie]

It seemed to me that Todd never disputed that his father was a pimp, so I'm thinking there might be a little truth to that story.

 

 

When Todd said to Joyce, "So my father WAS a pimp?", shows to me that he knows no such thing and it isn't any more true than any of the other rumors Joyce has spread.  I highly doubt that in all of New York, Joyce just happens to get in touch with someone who knows Todd's mom and dad.  It's just another example of Joyce being a vile, evil piece of shit.  She comes off as one of those people who if she can't find any real dirt on you she will make it up.  The woman has no heart.

 

Although one of the witches apologized to Kandi, the other aunt was still hollering about how she thought Todd's mom talked too much.

 

 

I think you mean, "Todd's mom talked too merch". lol

[selhars]

 

It seemed to me that Todd never disputed that his father was a pimp, so I'm thinking there might be a little truth to that story.

 

When speaking with Kandi and her mom, he clearly said it's not true.

[ribboninthesky1]

I think the issue with Kandi and her mom and her family is this:  Kandi feels that Joyce will ALWAYS be her mother, and that her aunts will always be her aunts, and that her blood family will always be her blood family.  She, however doesn't know that Todd will always be her husband.  That sounds crazy, but I do know people who feel that way, blood is thicker than water.

 

I know people like this as well, and I've never understood why they bothered to get into a long-term relationship or get married.  It's the epitome of relationship destruction (I don't think you'll always be around, but my family will, so I'll sabotage the relationship to validate my logic), but it just ties into the twisted issues of Kandi and her family.

[beesknees]

This is how shady I think Mama Joyce is: when she asked Kandi if her father told her why he never gave her birthday or Christmas presents my very first thought was that he probably did and Mama Joyce took off the card and told Kandi the gifts were from her.

Okay, I was thinking the EXACT same thing.  Mama Joyce quietly put Daddy's presents under the tree and said they were from Santa, or from her (when Kandi got older).  You SOOOO know Mama Joyce's ghetto-ass did that!

"informative information".... adding that to phyicality, juvial, dookie, and all the other words in my ApolloSpeak dictionary....

I.Die.  I was just going to add a post re: "informative information" ....  Thank you, Apollo.  I am still giggling over that one.  ""Informative information" has now officially replaced "juvial" as my favorite Apollo-ism.  Thank you baby Jesus!

 

Okay, no, no.  Did I just see someone mention upthread "SECTOR of the time scale"?!  The hell?  Apollo! Just stop talking.

Edited June 14, 2014 by beesknees

[swankie]

I know people like this as well, and I've never understood why they bothered to get into a long-term relationship or get married.  It's the epitome of relationship destruction (I don't think you'll always be around, but my family will, so I'll sabotage the relationship to validate my logic), but it just ties into the twisted issues of Kandi and her family.

 

The reason I can't get with Kandi's "blood is thicker..." reasoning is because some of the most awful people I know happen to be in my family.  lol  I wouldn't trust those bitches with a plug nickel of mine let alone any millions I might be blessed to earn. I wish Kandi could see from the outside looking in like we do how her family members (I get the feeling her old aunts get their piece of the pie also), are the one's she needs to be wary of when it comes to her money, moreso than Todd.  They've been leeching off her for years and she puts up with it because they're family.  She is so friggin stupid!

[cooksdelight]

 

Did I just see someone mention upthread "SECTOR of the time scale"?!

 

 

Yes, you did. It's on my refrigerator chalk board thingy. Just so I don't forget to use it in conversation.

[demarti]

I hate Mama Joyce but it is now official.  I hate Kandi with the fire of a thousand suns for not standing up to and reeling in her mother.  Of course MJ cannot be reeled in therefore Kandi must put consequences in place for her mother's bad behavior.  Kandi is obviously ill equipped to do so.  She needs to go to a REAL therapist (not that counselor guy that Kandi and MJ went to on the show - he was useless) but a real therapist that can teach Kandi how to set boundaries and create effective strategies to deal with her mother.  Kandi frustrates me to no end.

yeah, imagine how Todd must feel. 

[Sheenieb]

 

I think Joyce is off her rocker, with a real brain disfunction,  and Kandi is right, that nothing you say, or if you get angry, is going to change that, so why  bother?

 

But it's upsetting to her husband. I don't know anyone who has skin that thick. It's hurtful to listen to your MIL insult you, and then for your wife to cower and expect everyone to ignore it just because she does. Joyce isn't going to change, but it would show Todd that she accepts him as family and respects him if she let Joyce know that her vile speech about him and his family is unacceptable. If she doesn't put her foot down, she's going to lose him, eventually.

[ToukieSmith]

 

But it's upsetting to her husband. I don't know anyone who has skin that thick. It's hurtful to listen to your MIL insult you, and then for your wife to cower and expect everyone to ignore it just because she does. Joyce isn't going to change, but it would show Todd that she accepts him as family and respects him if she let Joyce know that her vile speech about him and his family is unacceptable. If she doesn't put her foot down, she's going to lose him, eventually.

 

OTOH, Todd signed up for it.  He knew about Joyce and her hold on Kandi before he got married.  If he wants the marriage, then he needs to develop really, really thick skin.  Calling his parents sex professionals is over the top, but Joyce has been sllinging outrageous mud from day one.  Kandi never hid her mother from Todd and he knows that Kandi needs a lot of work when it comes to dealing with her mother.

 

For better or worse........

 

On the upside of things, they are doing what they love, they have a beautiful family, they are healthy and they are financially secure.

Edited June 15, 2014 by ToukieSmith

[Sheenieb]

 

OTOH, Todd signed up for it.  He knew about Joyce and her hold on Kandi before he got married.  If he wants the marriage, then he needs to develop really, really thick skin.  Calling his parents sex professionals is over the top, but Joyce has been sllinging outrageous mud from day one.  Kandi never hid her mother from Todd and he knows that Kandi needs a lot of work when it comes to dealing with her mother.

 

Indeed he did sign up for it, but everyone has a limit. If Kandi wants her marriage to work, she's going to have to step up, as well.