Steven & Olga: Babies With Babies

[jumper sage]

On 12/25/2018 at 12:11 AM, configdotsys said:

The Go Fund Me is a little over $4k as of today. Stupid people. Two days ago, this update was posted:

Dear American to be:  Let it be known that we no longer have good pay, benefits, any kind of help for mother's and children.  Choose wisely.

[Toaster Strudel]

11 minutes ago, jumper sage said:

Dear American to be:  Let it be known that we no longer have good pay, benefits, any kind of help for mother's and children.  Choose wisely

He wants strong unions and socialism! How quaint. We don't see a lot of people admitting this nowadays.

[charmed1]

Wow, Steven is really lacking in humility to say the least. I’m curious where and why he’s living in MoCo since his grandparents are in PG. Is he couch surfing in Silver Spring now? I highly doubt he can afford a place on his own there unless it’s subsidized, and I doubt he can get subsidized housing any time soon. And why all the aggression? Is he saying that because he lives in MoCo and “working his ass off” he is therefore entitled to donations? Fuck off, Beavis. Like many in our area, I’m sitting on pins and needles hoping that I’m not next to be furloughed like my friends and neighbors. Meanwhile, this little irresponsible shit is pontificating about his life in the “most expensive county in Maryland.” So move back to PG, then. Probably burned too many bridges in Bowie. Pretty soon, he’ll hit up Howard County until someone tells him what to do. Guess Virginia’s next.

[jumper sage]

1 hour ago, Toaster Strudel said:

He wants strong unions and socialism! How quaint. We don't see a lot of people admitting this nowadays.

Are you talking about me?

[Toaster Strudel]

13 hours ago, jumper sage said:

Are you talking about me?

No, I'm talking about Steven and his Gofundme. I'm sorry I didn't realize it could be confusing when I wrote the post, now I see that it is.

Edited January 1, 2019 by Toaster Strudel

[ArcticWolfRS]

On 12/30/2018 at 4:25 PM, configdotsys said:

Is the way Go Fund Me works that you have to hit the target amount in order to get the money? I'm asking because they lowered their goal to $5k and it's at a little over $4500 now. 

That's Kickstarter. GFM lets you keep any and all donations even if you don't hit your goal. It also lets you run the fundraiser indefinitely if you want to - while there can be a target date, the fundraiser won't cut off on that date. 

I have no problem with his GFM. I've seen them for people wanting to buy gaming systems for their kids for Christmas or new clothes after a gastric bypass. If people want to contribute, then that's their prerogative. If you don't want to, then don't. I don't even think it's entitled - he's stated that he's working, he didn't say he'd quit if he got the money, and, to me, it never hurts to ask. I might roll my eyes at some of them, but it's not like these people are robbing you at gunpoint; just close the webpage if it's so offensive. I'm baffled why people get so worked up over them.  

As for his 8 years of schooling, where are people getting that he wants to be a doctor? I didn't see him saying that anywhere? I can think of plenty of ways to hit the 8 year mark without med school. Presumably, he has his GED if he's enrolled - even at a community college. Open admission still generally requires you to have one - or they put you in the GED classes until you pass. Even with a GED though, that doesn't guarantee that he is at a collegiate level in reading/writing/math, especially as a high school drop out with a few years past him last being in school.

So, starting from the bottom level classes, at the community colleges around here, it can be nearly 2 years before you even take a college level course. 4 classes in reading/writing and 5 in math. Even taking 3 classes in both summer sessions (and some places won't let you take that many; mine allowed 4 total in the summer - 2 in each session or 4 whole summer long classes), that's still over a year just in the basics to get to a collegiate level. Now we start the "4 year" clock for a bachelors degree. With his background, he'd presumably have to 'graduate' community college with an associates degree (or have around 45-60 hours) to have a hope of transferring to a 4 year university. So 2 years for that. Now we are already up to 3.5-4 years, and he's just now getting to actual course work in his degree. Now, I had 60 hours transferred - the max allowed - but because I was going for a science (physics) degree, I still was in class with the sophmores - and not being with/under the freshmen was only because I stayed at my community college and took extra math classes to have calculus done (another 6! classes after the college algebra class required) and the freshman science classes that required calculus (2 more, after I had finished Cal 1, not offered in the summer). And if you have any kind of STEM degree, it can sometimes be more like a 5 year degree than a 4. Mine would have been, because they only offered certain senior year classes that were required once a year. If you missed it, you had to wait another year. 

So, basically, 1.5 years to get to collegiate level, 2 years of generic classes to transfer to university (frosh/soph classes basically), and if he's going for any kind of STEM classes, another 1.5 years to get his math and science up to par for even transferring into the soph class, and another 3 to finish the degree. That's 8 years right there. And you can bet his advisor went over everything with him when he signed up and said "I'd like to do this in the future." I was warned the day I picked my degree how hard and how long of a slog it would be. I ended up not finishing. I hope he does. I think the discipline alone to get through all of that would do wonders for him, and the sense of accomplishment. Even if he doesn't want a STEM degree (so take away the 1.5 years to get his math and science up), the job/career he wants could require a masters. Plenty do. There's there other 2 right there. No medicine required, thank God! That is one profession I hope he stays far away from.

[ChiCricket]

On 1/1/2019 at 3:24 PM, ArcticWolfRS said:

I have no problem with his GFM. I've seen them for people wanting to buy gaming systems for their kids for Christmas or new clothes after a gastric bypass. If people want to contribute, then that's their prerogative. If you don't want to, then don't. I don't even think it's entitled - he's stated that he's working, he didn't say he'd quit if he got the money, and, to me, it never hurts to ask

 You're right. If his suckers fans want to contribute to him, I guess that's on them.

Edited January 2, 2019 by ChiCricket

[RealReality10]

^^The way I understand community college is that you take two years of classes at a community college and two years of classes at a regular state university which should be four years to get a degree.

In fact, that's how most community colleges describe the process.  Even factoring in having a difficult time getting classes.....8 years to get a bachelor's degree is just ridiculous.  I have never, in my life heard of that. Even assuming he has to make a remedial class in math, writing and/or English.

I think it's a terrible precedent to act like a charity case when you aren't one.  Charity should be for charity cases, not for guys who would prefer to work less because they want to stay home.  Especially when there is a stay at home parent.  A luxury that most couples don't have.  But a 20 year old, making above minimum wage who just doesn't want to make sacrifices painting himself as a charity case rubs me all sorts of the wrong way.

Yes, this is also the fault of the simpletons who hand him money, but he shouldn't even be asking. 

Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD do something.

Edited January 2, 2019 by RealReality10

[Rdh1314]

One result: Just 5 percent of community college students graduate with two-year degrees in two years and about 36 percent of four-year private and flagship public university and college students with bachelor's degrees in four. At non-flagship four-year public universities, the on-time graduation rate is 19 percent.

The lengthy time to graduate has become so much the status quo that education policy experts now routinely use benchmarks of six years to earn a bachelor’s degree and three years for an associate degree.

Currently,  it's pretty common for people who go to college to take 5 or even 6 years, not 4, to complete their degree.  If a person has a full time job and a family to support,  it's going to take even longer than that in many cases.

People who have never gone to college or raised children who have gone to college are probably totally unaware of the reality of financing and completing a college education. Times have changed and facts are facts. Yes, of course, some people are able to do it in 4 years.  They are in the minority.   

Edited January 2, 2019 by Rdh1314

[RealReality10]

^^ I have gone both to college and law school and financed both.  

What you have described has not been my experience.  What my experience has been is that community colleges overload their schedules with classes designed to complete the requirements to transfer to a four year college.  In fact many have feeder programs directly to state colleges and work with state colleges to develop curriculum for smooth transfer to four year universities.

Additionally, the hardest classes to get in a four year university, in my experience are the general education classes.  Everyone has to take them and they are routinely packed to the gills.  So the first two years at a four year university can take some additional time.  But once a person transfers from community college they should be taking classes in their major, which should be less crowded and easier to get into since only students in the major have to take those classes.  So I do not understand an assertion that it would somehow take someone three years at community college and another six at a university.  It sounds like at worst it would take three years at community college and two maybe three years at University.  Which explains five to six years, not eight.

An additional year for an associates degree doesn't explain eight years for a bachelor's degree.  Going to school part time because of work may explain an additional year or two at most because you go in the summer when other students are off.  But it does not explain taking nearly a decade or twice the time to finish a bachelor's degree.  Even when you account for all the bells and whistles.

You have cited a variety of numbers, do you have any source materials for your facts?  Even in the stories I've heard about the breakdown of the educational system I've never heard that it normally takes eight years to complete a bachelors degree under any circumstance.

Edited January 2, 2019 by RealReality10

[Rdh1314]

For those truly interested in the topic of higher education,  it's quite easy to find information online.  There's a wealth of it out there.  

An online forum dedicated to the 90 Fiancee show isn't really the place for me to discuss complicated issues or cite "sources" with people who are not interested in researching such topics themselves. 

[RealReality10]

^^ while you are under no obligation to provide sources for your information, it does strike me as interesting that you seem to refer to various studies to bolster a point you make, but then have a hard time citing to these studies.  

To me, if the results of these studies have a proper place in the discussion it seems like the source of these studies also have a valid place in the discussion as well.

But, I understand that mileage varies.

Edited January 2, 2019 by RealReality10

[ArcticWolfRS]

16 hours ago, RealReality10 said:

^^The way I understand community college is that you take two years of classes at a community college and two years of classes at a regular state university which should be four years to get a degree.

In fact, that's how most community colleges describe the process.  Even factoring in having a difficult time getting classes.....8 years to get a bachelor's degree is just ridiculous.  I have never, in my life heard of that. Even assuming he has to make a remedial class in math, writing and/or English.

 

That is how they are described, and if you are coming in with a collegiate level of the three Rs, then it (mostly) works. If you aren't, then you have to get to that level first. Given how Steven comes across, and how early he dropped out of high school, I'd be very surprised if he tested in at those levels. On top of that, the reality is that unless you are ultimately pursuing some kind of liberal arts degree, there will be at least another year tacked on. Most science degrees that I recall expect you to come in as a freshman ready for calculus, or have already taken it, and the same was true with engineering where I went. I believe the exception was biology, but I don't have the handbook anymore. The technology degrees where I went to university were 5 year programs. 

I tested in at collegiate level, and even then, because I wanted a very hard science degree it would have been 6 years for me had it been a smooth linear progression. My mom took over a decade to get hers - and that was in business. She started at the very bottom in remedial math and couldn't go full time because of work.  It happens. 

Personally, I think Steven would be better off going to a two-year technical school to learn a trade. While an apprenticeship is admirable, one that last as long as his seems to wouldn't be worth it unless he wanted to make it his career - which he doesn't seem to. Electricians or plumbers are always needed, he could be fully trained in a much shorter time period, and if he still wanted to install fire sprinklers after that, the knowledge from either of those would seemingly serve him well. If instead, he wants a bachelors degree after that, he could sign up for weekend or night classes to get him up to par, and then go from there.

ETA: Very quickly Googling before I have to leave for work gives this study: https://nscresearchcenter.org/signaturereport11/ I don't know if that is the one Rdh is referring to, but it was the first one that popped up for me. My own mom's thesis and dissertation research found similar results (although she was only interviewing people anecdotally, as her focus was elsewhere).

Edited January 2, 2019 by ArcticWolfRS
Added a study link

[RealReality10]

36 minutes ago, ArcticWolfRS said:

That is how they are described, and if you are coming in with a collegiate level of the three Rs, then it (mostly) works. If you aren't, then you have to get to that level first. Given how Steven comes across, and how early he dropped out of high school, I'd be very surprised if he tested in at those levels. On top of that, the reality is that unless you are ultimately pursuing some kind of liberal arts degree, there will be at least another year tacked on. Most science degrees that I recall expect you to come in as a freshman ready for calculus, or have already taken it, and the same was true with engineering where I went. I believe the exception was biology, but I don't have the handbook anymore. The technology degrees where I went to university were 5 year programs. 

I tested in at collegiate level, and even then, because I wanted a very hard science degree it would have been 6 years for me had it been a smooth linear progression. My mom took over a decade to get hers - and that was in business. She started at the very bottom in remedial math and couldn't go full time because of work.  It happens. 

Personally, I think Steven would be better off going to a two-year technical school to learn a trade. While an apprenticeship is admirable, one that last as long as his seems to wouldn't be worth it unless he wanted to make it his career - which he doesn't seem to. Electricians or plumbers are always needed, he could be fully trained in a much shorter time period, and if he still wanted to install fire sprinklers after that, the knowledge from either of those would seemingly serve him well. If instead, he wants a bachelors degree after that, he could sign up for weekend or night classes to get him up to par, and then go from there.

ETA: Very quickly Googling before I have to leave for work gives this study: https://nscresearchcenter.org/signaturereport11/ I don't know if that is the one Rdh is referring to, but it was the first one that popped up for me. My own mom's thesis and dissertation research found similar results (although she was only interviewing people anecdotally, as her focus was elsewhere).

Your points are valid, and while Steven hasn't been clear about the subject he plans to study, I have my doubts that it's something that is STEM related.  It might be, but he just doesn't seem like the type.  I suspect it's something more in the field of liberal arts.  But maybe it's some sort of video games design?

While I didn't have to take remedial classes, I remember that they were like one or two classes for most degrees.  Like you had to take one remedial math class before being able to take a math class that would satisfy a general education mathematics requirement.  Now, like you said for some majors you need more than that.  But I couldn't see Steven in any such major.

I also think that given the current state of technology that students have far greater opportunities than your mother had to find classes that fit their schedule.

I don't understand Stevens apprenticeship at all because I thought an apprenticeship was done with the express purpose of doing the job as a career after the apprenticeship.  I'm surprised he was offered an apprenticeship without expressing an interest in having the job afterwards.

Thank you for the study link.

[funky-rat]

On ‎12‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 2:53 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:

Bolding mine:  I am not saying Steven said this and @gonecrackers you gotta know this is NOT at you, but I am so sick of people saying "we did not know the rules" or "I guess rules have changed" as it is basically a ploy to be greedy and tacky.  There was a same sex couple on GoFundMe who said "Well I guess we are not sure of the rules for a same sex couple, so I guess we get to ask people to fund our $5000 wedding!!  Nothing fancy, just a nice day to remember."  Okay, I am about as liberal as they come and I 100% support legal, gov't sanctioned marriage for EVERYONE, so that is not the point.  Listen, Dave and Tom, the rules DO APPLY to you, no one gets to fund your day just as we don't have to fund Steven's life, either.  I thought GoFundME was for charities, hospital bills, etc, NOT yay I want a party or yay I want a honeymoon.  No go get a part time job, scale down your expenses like everyone else.

My biggest issue with GFM, is that it seems to have changed the way people donate, and how they think about helping people.  People think nothing of giving money to a stranger who was bullied, and they end up with $50,000, but when my SIL died, we tried to raise $1500 for final expenses, and got very little, and got some comments about how she should have had life insurance, etc.  It was explained that she lost her life insurance when her husband (who moved another woman in to the house as soon as she needed round the clock care in a facility) stopped paying the premium.  By then, she had been diagnosed with an incurable disease, and good luck getting anyone to insure you.  So a stranger who was bullied gets $50,000 but people make ignorant comments about my late SIL, who was truly in need.  Makes no sense, and I've pretty much stopped donating to any of them (and yes, I donated to my SIL's GFM).

On ‎12‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 5:25 PM, configdotsys said:

Is the way Go Fund Me works that you have to hit the target amount in order to get the money? I'm asking because they lowered their goal to $5k and it's at a little over $4500 now. They probably lowered the goal because they knew they wouldn't hit $10 or $15k and didn't want to lose out on the cash.

No, you can cash out on GFM at any amount.  I've done some Kickstarters with people, and if they don't make their goal, they lose out.

[RealReality10]

7 minutes ago, funky-rat said:

My biggest issue with GFM, is that it seems to have changed the way people donate, and how they think about helping people.  People think nothing of giving money to a stranger who was bullied, and they end up with $50,000, but when my SIL died, we tried to raise $1500 for final expenses, and got very little, and got some comments about how she should have had life insurance, etc.  It was explained that she lost her life insurance when her husband (who moved another woman in to the house as soon as she needed round the clock care in a facility) stopped paying the premium.  By then, she had been diagnosed with an incurable disease, and good luck getting anyone to insure you.  So a stranger who was bullied gets $50,000 but people make ignorant comments about my late SIL, who was truly in need.  Makes no sense, and I've pretty much stopped donating to any of them (and yes, I donated to my SIL's GFM).

No, you can cash out on GFM at any amount.  I've done some Kickstarters with people, and if they don't make their goal, they lose out.

Sorry about your SIL, that sucks.  

I donate to causes like that, but it's normally through someone I know.  

It's weird that people would smack talk about a woman who is dead.  Goodness.

[funky-rat]

1 minute ago, RealReality10 said:

Sorry about your SIL, that sucks.

I donate to causes like that, but it's normally through someone I know.

It's weird that people would smack talk about a woman who is dead. Goodness.

I've donated to people I don't know, but it's usually a friend's family - that kind of thing.  Someone I know vouches for the cause.  Some of the smack talk is the area we live in, unfortunately.  My cousin's step-daughter, who is 22, I think, posted a nice well-thought out social media post one evening about the cost of healthcare.  I agreed with her, and let her know I thought her post was great (she has some issues, and I like to give her some good vibes when I can).  Her family, who live in an area where they have closer access to more job opportunities because they're closer to larger cities, just ran her over the coals.  I tried to defend her.  My husband and I had zero outstanding medical bills before he lost his job at age 45, and we lost his good health insurance, and now my medical bills keep racking up.  Their response was to tell me to quit complaining, and get a better job with better insurance.  Um.....have they ever tried to get a job at age 45?  It is really hard to get anything decent.  We got very lucky after a year, and several false starts ,and I praise whoever may be in the sky every day for it.  Of course, they all had the answers, and they had all gotten better jobs for themselves, blah blah blah.  "It's not that hard."  I just responded that everyone is just one or two incidents away from financial devastation anymore, and their luck may run out someday.  I never put up a GFM for us.  I didn't feel it was right.  But I still shake my head when total strangers raise ludicrous amounts of money for someone because of something that just doesn't seem to warrant it.  We are both employed and making a halfway decent wage for the area, but we both work for small companies (the bulk of work opportunities here) and neither can afford to supply their employees with decent insurance.  But they have no trouble telling me that it's all my fault.  Morons.

[RealReality10]

^^ the state of healthcare in the United States is unfortunate.  I love this country and I'd never want to live anywhere else, but stories like yours arent rare.  It's so easy to say "get a better job" but so many people struggle just getting any job and some large employers offer horrible benefits.

Im not going to get on my soapbox, but yeah.

[ALittleShelfish]

11 years to get my bachelor's degree here, and I'm happy to have anyone call me stupid/lazy/unfocused/whatever you (Non-specific "You", not anyone in particular) say to people who "can't" finish in 4 years.  In fact:  Bring it. 

Steven may be in a program that requires/suggests a lot -a LOT - of hands on/practical experience during the course of the program. During which time he won't be/cant' be taking full time classes.  We simply don't know beyond the words he's given us.  He may also be simply regurgitating what the admissions people told him his track "might/could" look like.  I was 20 once, and I often times spouted off half-bits of information as if they were entire truths.  I was in a situation where I had to grow up and suddenly adult too, but thank God it was before the innerwebz and social media.  I made a fool of myself more than once (regularly) because I thought I had all the answers.  

Turns out I didn't (hahahaha surprise!), and here I am snarking on fools who sign up to be on reality television.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[gonecrackers]

I have no doubt it could take him a while to get through college, apprenticeship, etc, IF he's working full time as well. I don't really know what he's actually doing as I don't follow him & hadn't read the GFM & don't care to.

My problem with this is not everyone can even get to college or see their kids because they have to work 2-3 jobs just to get by, & perhaps live in a not so expensive area to make ends meet. He's in this situation because he screwed around with no protection, so now he can be responsible for himself & his family & make the sacrifices necessary to provide & eventually, get into a better situation -  consequences of behavior & all; no one else is responsible for rescuing him. If they want to contribute it's their business, but it's also my opinion he has no business asking & there are much better things people could do with their money to help others- ones who are truly in need.

Edited January 2, 2019 by gonecrackers

[RealReality10]

5 minutes ago, ALittleShelfish said:

11 years to get my bachelor's degree here, and I'm happy to have anyone call me stupid/lazy/unfocused/whatever you (Non-specific "You", not anyone in particular) say to people who "can't" finish in 4 years.  In fact:  Bring it. 

Steven may be in a program that requires/suggests a lot -a LOT - of hands on/practical experience during the course of the program. During which time he won't be/cant' be taking full time classes.  We simply don't know beyond the words he's given us.  He may also be simply regurgitating what the admissions people told him his track "might/could" look like.  I was 20 once, and I often times spouted off half-bits of information as if they were entire truths.  I was in a situation where I had to grow up and suddenly adult too, but thank God it was before the innerwebz and social media.  I made a fool of myself more than once (regularly) because I thought I had all the answers.  

Turns out I didn't (hahahaha surprise!), and here I am snarking on fools who sign up to be on reality television.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I've mostly done traditional college.  What types of majors are these?  I wouldn't say that someone who took 11 years to get a bachelor's is lazy or stupid or whatever.  Im sure there are people at the margins who take longer than normal for a variety of reasons.  I had a friend who had to care for her sick mother and it took her longer to graduate.  My mother couldn't go to school for long stretches of time as she was our primary caregiver while my dad attended medical school and we were young.  I don't think it took her eight years, but it took her a looong time.

I took longer than usual to get my bachelor's because I absolutely was lazy and unfocused.  However I was lucky enough to not have any little person that had to rely on me.  Also, once I became focused, it didn't take me very long at all. And this was before technology became as advanced as it is.

I think it's entirely possible, maybe even probable that Stevens timeline is based off of half bits of information that he or may not have fully been paying attention to.

[Rdh1314]

I guess it is possible for someone who went to college and received a degree to have no idea how to correctly use apostrophes. But this is just a teeny little problem with higher education, given how many issues there are...

Technical schools are excellent alternatives to college.  People can learn things like welding,  automotive mechanics,  HVAC, plumbing, and much more, often times in under a year.

I guess mileage really does vary.

Edited January 2, 2019 by Rdh1314
Excellent trades with decent income potential

[RealReality10]

14 minutes ago, Rdh1314 said:

How is it possible that someone who went to college and received a degree has no idea how to correctly use apostrophes?

I guess mileage really does vary.

It's possible that people aren't looking to prove their collegiate pedigree to people on a message board.

I've always found that people who try to nitpick on grammar have nothing of substance to add to a discussion.  I mean they may cite "longitudinal studies" that they have no proof of...but other than that, such people tend to add very little substantive value to a discussion. 

Which is why they choose to try to pick on someone for grammar. Because for some reason they think that such a thing is a measure of intelligence.

However, as you said, mileage varies :)

BTW - I went to college, law school, passed the toughest bar exam in the country and I write for a living. 

Edited January 2, 2019 by RealReality10

[Rdh1314]

Well, lol, at least I don't infer that someone is a bigot when research is mentioned.  Personally,  I find that "interesting."

Edited January 2, 2019 by Rdh1314
And someone felt the need to point out their "law" pedigree. REALLY? 😉

[RealReality10]

3 minutes ago, Rdh1314 said:

Well, lol, at least I don't infer that someone is a bigot when research is mentioned.  Personally,  I find that "interesting."

When someone makes a sweeping generalization about an entire culture based on a "longitudinal study" that they refuse to cite....well that speaks for itself.

As we say in the law res ipsa loquitur " the thing speaks for itself."

Edited January 2, 2019 by RealReality10

[Drogo]

And, we're moving on.

[Granny58]

2 hours ago, funky-rat said:

We got very lucky after a year, and several false starts ,and I praise whoever may be in the sky every day for it. 

I've been thinking about you.  So glad to hear this!

[StatisticalOutlier]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

My problem with this is not everyone can even get to college or see their kids because they have to work 2-3 jobs just to get by, & perhaps live in a not so expensive area to make ends meet. He's in this situation because he screwed around with no protection, so now he can be responsible for himself & his family & make the sacrifices necessary to provide & eventually, get into a better situation -  consequences of behavior & all; no one else is responsible for rescuing him. If they want to contribute it's their business, but it's also my opinion he has no business asking & there are much better things people could do with their money to help others- ones who are truly in need.

But of those who are truly "in need"--have you asked how they got there, and if irresponsibility in the past has contributed to it?  I wonder how things would be different if every gofundme appeal came with an income and expense statement for the last 10 years, so people can evaluate the decisions that might have led the person to be currently in need.  I would imagine that the vast majority have some culpability. 

I'm just not sure Steven has been that much more irresponsible than a whole lot of people; unplanned pregnancies are exceedingly common.  And because of the show, there are people who want to give him money, and his asking gives them a way to do so.  I think it's crass, and I think people who give him money are idiots, but I'm sad to report that similar crassness and idiocy abounds, which is why I learned to avoid gofundme like the plague.  But every gofundme appeal has at its heart somebody asking for money and hoping people will give it to them--whether strangers who respond to the appeal or are shamed into doing it by others, friends who want to help or are shamed into doing it by others, or people who are willing to pay to get what they see as a personal connection to a reality TV star.

The only good thing I can say about gofundme is that since the money people give isn't tax deductible, at least I'm not subsidizing it through higher taxes that are required because people are able to write off donations.  If somebody wants to give Steven money and it's not going to cost me anything, have at it.  But I'll want to know about it when THEY come up short and have a gofundme appeal because they gave money to reality TV stars instead of saving it for emergencies.

So why can't this just be considered Steven's side hustle?  He's in a position to make people happy by giving him money, due solely to his appearance on this show.  Why shouldn't he do it?  I suppose he could drive an Uber, but then he could be taking opportunity away from somebody who doesn't have choices other than driving an Uber.  He's lucky enough to have a unique marketable skill for a few minutes, and if he can parlay it into actual cash without lying, cheating, or stealing, then what's the problem?  I just wish there were no market for it, but I don't get to make the calls on that.

[gonecrackers]

52 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

But of those who are truly "in need"--have you asked how they got there, and if irresponsibility in the past has contributed to it?  I wonder how things would be different if every gofundme appeal came with an income and expense statement for the last 10 years, so people can evaluate the decisions that might have led the person to be currently in need.  I would imagine that the vast majority have some culpability. 

There are people like @funky-rat 's SIL, so no, not everyone has been irresponsible to put themselves in need. Life happens & screws with some people, & that sucks for them.

54 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I'm just not sure Steven has been that much more irresponsible than a whole lot of people; unplanned pregnancies are exceedingly common.  And because of the show, there are people who want to give him money, and his asking gives them a way to do so.  I think it's crass, and I think people who give him money are idiots, but I'm sad to report that similar crassness and idiocy abounds, which is why I learned to avoid gofundme like the plague. 

Doesn't mean anyone else needs to help support them.

Who someone contributes to, if anyone, is their own personal decision, but it's difficult to know if someone on GFM is even being truthful about their situation, so I avoid it as well.

57 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

So why can't this just be considered Steven's side hustle? 

"Hustle" is probably an appropriate description, but it's not a job. He can work another job if he has to. Hell he can even stop going to college & just work, because it's just not always possible to do both for everyone. If he can work & go to college more power to him; I'm happy for him & hope he does well.  But he wants to do this AND live in an expensive area AND be able to not work too much so he can have enough time to be with his child. This is a nice thought, but he's not entitled to money from people so he can have that time. Maybe he just needs to work harder & longer right now then he'll get the time later & have worked for it himself.

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I suppose he could drive an Uber, but then he could be taking opportunity away from somebody who doesn't have choices other than driving an Uber.  He's lucky enough to have a unique marketable skill for a few minutes, and if he can parlay it into actual cash without lying, cheating, or stealing, then what's the problem?

It's just my opinion but being an asshole on reality TV doesn't seem like a "skill" to me. Yes, it's marketable, & people can contribute all they want. He can cash in on his 15 minutes of reality TV fame being a total prick - what a great example for his son.

[zenme]

I guess I have too much pride to ask for people for money to support me. That's like a cyber panhandling. 

I see it everyday, but if one is a woman of childbearing years, one needs to take control of their reproductive lives. One way or another, society has to take care of those who have parents who are irresponsible. It's Steven's issue too, but let's face it, it's always the moms left holding the bag.

[RealReality10]

I don't know.  I generally go more by need.  I know that the guy panhandling on the street probably made terrible life choices.  But, if I didn't have a strong family and a good upbringing I might have made terrible life choices too.  So I give the guy (or girl) a buck.  Especially some that look so downtrodden. 

But Steven isn't downtrodden, he wants money so he doesn't have to work as hard or as often.  He is making over minimum wage.  Olga is at home caring for their son.  He is in school, he is learning a trade. He has a car, he has an apartment. He has a job where he can earn nearly twice what he is making now...which is already above minimum wage.  I just don't see the need that I associate with a charity case.

Edited January 3, 2019 by RealReality10

[StatisticalOutlier]

21 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

"Hustle" is probably an appropriate description, but it's not a job. He can work another job if he has to. Hell he can even stop going to college & just work, because it's just not always possible to do both for everyone. If he can work & go to college more power to him; I'm happy for him & hope he does well.  But he wants to do this AND live in an expensive area AND be able to not work too much so he can have enough time to be with his child. This is a nice thought, but he's not entitled to money from people so he can have that time. Maybe he just needs to work harder & longer right now then he'll get the time later & have worked for it himself.

I have no reason to believe he thinks he's entitled to money from people, and I certainly never said he's entitled to money from people.  But if they want to give it to him, he's doing them a favor by giving them a way to do it, as long as everybody is on the up-and-up, which it appears they are.

It's really no different from so many situations, where the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so to speak.  There are millions of people with hardships, but if you happen to be one that gets featured on the local news, people rush in to help, leaving LOTS of people similarly situated out in the cold.  Or if you're one of the employees whose sob story gets featured on Undercover Boss, you'll get tens of thousands of dollars while everybody else who works there gets nothing, even though many of them are bound to have sob stories of their own. 

Steven is no different in that respect--he lucked into getting some attention that makes people want to give him money.  Sure, he could do what I would do and not set up a gofundme appeal, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have gotten myself into anything remotely similar to the situation that's getting him attention in the first place, so it's probably not fair to compare us in the first place. 

Many people would prefer to spend more time with their families instead of having to work, but they don't have that option.  It looks like he might, through a huge stroke of luck.  Since his personality allows him to set up a gofundme appeal, it's like he's won a small lottery payout, only better because he's getting money AND approval from the people who are giving him money. 

I can't say I admire it, but I can certainly see how it would have its appeal, and I suspect lots of people would do exactly what he's doing if they only had the chance. 

[gonecrackers]

13 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I have no reason to believe he thinks he's entitled to money from people, and I certainly never said he's entitled to money from people. 

I didn't say you said that he's entitled. My whole point is he feels he's entitled to work less, & ask for money from strangers to pay for time with his family.

As you said he's got the TV exposure, so will be more likely to get money than Joe schmo, no matter what his horror story, just because people know Steven from TV. Personally I think that sucks, especially because Steven was not an especially endearing character- but I've also said if someone wants to give him money that's their decision.

So I understand he's lucky for the TV exposure allowing him to mooch off the public for some extra cash, & again if they contribute to his 'cause', which I personally don't find worthy, it's their decision. I also don't find what he's doing to be admirable, & hate his shitty attitude in lecturing everyone about how he deserves to ask. But again this is my personal opinion.

Also, I really don't give this much thought, & only began commenting (regretfully) because this is a forum where I'm able to express my opinion just like everyone else. Otherwise I couldn't care less.

[configdotsys]

Pulling out the hater card and telling the universe that you live in the most expensive county in Maryland, that you don’t have an advantage so you have to pay college tuition, and that you want time with your family, therefore, send me money, reeks of an entitlement mentality to me. Mileage varies.

His tone in the GFM is similar to the one he uses with Olga so as far as I’m concerned, these claims of being misunderstood because we only see snippets of the show sounds like a lot of horse shit. “Let’s go over some things”? Fuck you.

[Drogo]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

 

I can't say I admire it, but I can certainly see how it would have its appeal, and I suspect lots of people would do exactly what he's doing if they only had the chance. 

I can't argue with this. 

[Pink-n-Green]

On 12/23/2018 at 10:52 PM, Sterling said:

Several people I know who went the Russian adoption route ended up with similar issues, largely due to poor prenatal care, alcoholism, etc., by the birth mother.  My Russian-adopted niece has had extremely bad dental problems, starting with her baby teeth, as they all came in already decayed.  And other things, much worse.

I'm so sorry.  How is she doing now?

[Pink-n-Green]

On 12/31/2018 at 9:30 PM, Toaster Strudel said:

He wants strong unions and socialism! How quaint. We don't see a lot of people admitting this nowadays.

He's from the People's Republic of Maryland; I'm not surprised.

[gingerella]

On 1/3/2019 at 5:46 PM, configdotsys said:

Pulling out the hater card and telling the universe that you live in the most expensive county in Maryland, that you don’t have an advantage so you have to pay college tuition, and that you want time with your family, therefore, send me money, reeks of an entitlement mentality to me. Mileage varies.

His tone in the GFM is similar to the one he uses with Olga so as far as I’m concerned, these claims of being misunderstood because we only see snippets of the show sounds like a lot of horse shit. “Let’s go over some things”? Fuck you.

^This, all day long^ To me it’s pretty simple, Steven is WYSIWYG, period end of story. No mystery there. To paraphrase Magritte, ‘This is an asshole.’

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 1/2/2019 at 6:12 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

So why can't this just be considered Steven's side hustle?  He's in a position to make people happy by giving him money, due solely to his appearance on this show.  Why shouldn't he do it?  I suppose he could drive an Uber, but then he could be taking opportunity away from somebody who doesn't have choices other than driving an Uber. 

Because a "side hustle" is not exactly an admirable career.  I needed extra income to pay back the IRS for some back taxed (my fault, no intent to cheat, my math was off) so I took a pt job as a cashier at a grocery store.  I have graduate level education and I am a special education teacher.   I, personally, would be embarrassed to make a GoFundMe to beg for $$ when I can work.  Steven should grow up a little:  You had sex, sperm met baby now ya gotta pay the piper - meaning support them ON YOUR OWN.  Steven wants to be a Man, be a Good Dad - then work admirably.  Work at a grocery store, drive an Uber, work assembly, something.  You really want to explain "Yeah, Richie, I was home all day with you cause I set up a fund for people to pay my electric bill?"

Bolding mine:  I think Steven is in this category.

Edited January 5, 2019 by Mrs. Hanson

[HaaCHOO]

On 12/31/2018 at 9:03 PM, charmed1 said:

Wow, Steven is really lacking in humility to say the least.

Wasn't that obvious from Day One?

[RealReality10]

^^yeah, it's weird to me that Steven seems to always justify his actions with this idea that Richie will care or somehow appreciate that Steven spent more time with him.  Richie isn't even one yet, he isn't going to remember the exact amount of time his dad spent with him.

Growing up, my dad worked long hours and went to school.  He didn't spend tons of time with us, because he couldn't.  I was never angry with my dad because he couldn't spend tons of time with me, I was proud and thankful for his sacrifice.

[HaaCHOO]

2 minutes ago, RealReality10 said:

^^yeah, it's weird to me that Steven seems to always justify his actions with this idea that Richie will care or somehow appreciate that Steven spent more time with him.  Richie isn't even one yet, he isn't going to remember the exact amount of time his dad spent with him.

By the time Richie is old enough to have any memories of him, Steven will be long gone--and in circumstances where NO ONE wants to remember anything about him (most likely).

[RealReality10]

1 minute ago, HaaCHOO said:

By the time Richie is old enough to have any memories of him, Steven will be long gone--and in circumstances where NO ONE wants to remember anything about him (most likely).

I think that would be the best case scenario.  Steven, to me, has an anger problem.  So if he is always around Richie will have to develop a relationship with a man who has a hair trigger temper.  That can't be good for a child's development.

[AZChristian]

16 minutes ago, RealReality10 said:

I think that would be the best case scenario.  Steven, to me, has an anger problem.  So if he is always around Richie will have to develop a relationship with a man who has a hair trigger temper.  That can't be good for a child's development.

Hair trigger temper and a sense of entitlement.  Richie and Olga need to stay in Russia.  She may not get any financial support from Steven, but at least he won't be a constant financial and emotional drain on her and Richie.

ETA:  Statistics are available that show that one out of three children (33%) born in Russia are now born to single women.  And it appears that 40% of births in the USA are to unmarried women.  

Edited January 5, 2019 by AZChristian

[Celia Rubenstein]

On 1/2/2019 at 4:12 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

... why can't this just be considered Steven's side hustle?  He's in a position to make people happy by giving him money, due solely to his appearance on this show.  Why shouldn't he do it?  ...

He's lucky enough to have a unique marketable skill for a few minutes, and if he can parlay it into actual cash without lying, cheating, or stealing, then what's the problem? 

I agree with your whole post and the above quoted portion in particular.

I look at the Go Fund Me account as a way for Steven and Olga to collect what basically amounts to tips from people who "appreciated" them on the show (meaning they actually liked Olga them or enjoyed hate watching Steven them or whatever). I don't have a problem with it. Nobody is making anyone participate. It's not costing anyone else a dime, as you pointed out. Steven and Olga opened up their lives to public scrutiny and endured the slimy world that is reality TV, and if they want to pass the hat around so they can add to the pittance they earned for putting asses in TLC's seats, it's fine by me.

Cash in while you can, I say.  The iron won't stay hot for long, might as well strike it while you have the chance!

[ChiCricket]

This is supposedly about Olga's parents, and how they horrifically murdered Olga's sister.😨

I'll put it behind a spoiler tag, because if you're at all squeamish, it's not for you.

(It's really gross, I'm sorry I read it)

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/313783

Spoiler

Exorcism: Russian parents kill daughter to 'save her soul'

BY JOHN THOMAS DIDYMUS 
Nov. 2 , 2011
City of Voronezh

A Russian couple, Sergei Koshimbetov, 49, a taxi driver, and Elena Antonova, a teacher in the city of Voronezh, are on trial on accusations that they tortured their 26-year-old daughter, beating, disemboweling and trampling her to death in an exorcism.

AFP reports that the couple, after they had thoroughly beaten up their daughter, attempted force-feeding her five liters of "holy water," as part of the ritual to rid her of "demons."

According to investigators, "After that, Antonova ripped a part of her daughter's intestine out with her hands...and the husband and wife trampled her body until she died."

  Evidence of psychiatric disturbance in Antonova and her husband Sergei comes from an interview in which Antonova denied killing her daughter. Antonova explained on television she did not kill her daughter's soul, she only killed her body.

    "The mother and father believed they were helping their daughter to stop loving her husband, believing him to be Satan."

After the 26-year-old Alexander died, her parents wrapped her in a blanket and announced to relatives that she would resurrect in three days.

AFP reports Anotonova arrived in court holding a Bible. She was puzzled about talk of committing her to an insane asylum. She says:

"How can they take me to a madhouse — I feel fine."

Edited January 6, 2019 by ChiCricket

[sasha206]

On 1/5/2019 at 1:02 PM, Celia Rubenstein said:

I agree with your whole post and the above quoted portion in particular.

I look at the Go Fund Me account as a way for Steven and Olga to collect what basically amounts to tips from people who "appreciated" them on the show (meaning they actually liked Olga them or enjoyed hate watching Steven them or whatever). I don't have a problem with it. Nobody is making anyone participate. It's not costing anyone else a dime, as you pointed out. Steven and Olga opened up their lives to public scrutiny and endured the slimy world that is reality TV, and if they want to pass the hat around so they can add to the pittance they earned for putting asses in TLC's seats, it's fine by me.

Cash in while you can, I say.  The iron won't stay hot for long, might as well strike it while you have the chance!

I also don't care about GoFundMe's, especially if they get barely paid by TLC.  People can choose to donate or not.

[configdotsys]

Just saw that Steven was clocked at 77 in a 55mph zone on 1/5 at about 4 p.m. and got himself a $160 ticket. I hope baby Richie wasn’t in the car with him.

[charmed1]

10 hours ago, configdotsys said:

Just saw that Steven was clocked at 77 in a 55mph zone on 1/5 at about 4 p.m. and got himself a $160 ticket. I hope baby Richie wasn’t in the car with him.

I’d like to know where the hell he’s able to go 77mph during rush hour in this area. For research purposes only, of course.

[gingerella]

16 hours ago, configdotsys said:

Just saw that Steven was clocked at 77 in a 55mph zone on 1/5 at about 4 p.m. and got himself a $160 ticket. I hope baby Richie wasn’t in the car with him.

Guess what the GFM money will be used for...?