Season 6 Discussion

[Mrs. Hanson]

4 hours ago, Honey said:

I've seen this  mentioned over and over, about it being terrible to have a cash bar.  Can someone explain why this is so bad?  It's not like people are being forced to buy a drink.  If they don't want to pay for alcohol, can't they just not drink?  Serious question.

Because you and your fiance are asking people to fund a party/event that is a choice.  No one is funding my choice of car, clothes or airfare.  Why would they fund my wedding?  I am a grown woman who can and SHOULD pay, with her hubby, for a wedding.  If parents offer to help, fine, but they are under no obligation to do so.  Can't afford it?  Scale back.  I don't ask people to come to my house for dinner and then charge them for a glass of wine, why would I charge them at a wedding?  Same thing if I am hosting two people at my house or 44 people at the restaurant after the ceremony.  (Wedding #2, btw)

Cash bars do NOTHING to slow down problem drinkers.  People will say "Well we are worried about drunk driving"  Hire a licensed bartender and he/she will take care of that.  We are grown ups, we can handle it.  For the record, I don't even drink:  both my weddings were open bar.  No regrets.  

1 hour ago, CSS.MD said:

But this is Eric and Leida, we’re talking. They are not my best friends. They are horrible people. They make me want to drink.

I would start guzzling the juice at high volume with these two, lol!  Seriously, can you imagine being trapped in a car with those folks from NYC to Wisconsin?  Me neither.  Leave me at a rest stop, thanks.

[CSS.MD]

1 hour ago, Honey said:

I know it's a snark forum, but I really had no idea it was a joke.  I thought people really thought it was bad to have a cash bar if there were only 25 people.

It can be hard to tell without the Comic Sans.

40 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I would start guzzling the juice at high volume with these two, lol!  Seriously, can you imagine being trapped in a car with those folks from NYC to Wisconsin?  Me neither.  Leave me at a rest stop, thanks.

I’d rather walk:

[Morgalisa]

6 hours ago, Honey said:

I've seen this  mentioned over and over, about it being terrible to have a cash bar.  Can someone explain why this is so bad?  It's not like people are being forced to buy a drink.  If they don't want to pay for alcohol, can't they just not drink?  Serious question.

I think the cash bar is for a party of one.  No way can Eric get thru the day without drinking. Other than his ex and his kids, there probably wont be very many guests.

[Mothra]

On 12/4/2018 at 12:59 PM, CoachWristletJen said:

Kalani has the dumbest expressions on her face sometimes. She is one dim bulb.

I guess you missed the part of Nick's lecture where he assured Asuelu (free Asuelu!) that Kalani is "a very intelligent woman."  OTOH, I guess it has to be pointed out--often--because it sure isn't obvious from her words/behavior.

Poor Asuelu took that lecture as an indication of support and love from Nick.  Free Asuelu!

[Mothra]

On 12/4/2018 at 1:52 PM, doyouevengohere said:

"bovine interest" with mouths agape.

This is why it pays to read books.

[Mothra]

On 12/4/2018 at 3:22 PM, Raja said:

I can't remember the psychological term of acting different because you are being filmed. From the third season on you can add in that the couples know that the worse they are now the more likely that they will be featured in a follow up series. As opposed to the filler couples who only get recast because folks had that one experience with the show biz edits and didn't want to participate. So I take with a grain of salt the truthfulness in their on camera behavior.

I can't remember the term, either, but there is an axiom in sociology that the fact of being observed changes the behavior being observed.  The thing about Steven is that, unlike nearly 100% of other people being observed, he doesn't pretend to be better than he is--wait a minute.  Maybe he *is* pretending to be better than he is.

Oh shit.

[Baltimore Betty]

10 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I think it's silly to have a cash bar for 25 people.  I'd rather see fewer flowers and more booze.  But I'm also with those who said liquor would be required to attend that particular wedding.

A limited bar, beer and wine only is a happy medium.  They could even have a cake and champagne reception for cripes sake, money is so tight that Eric cannot buy a couch why spend money on a wedding?  Leida had her big white dress moment, get over it!

[Mothra]

20 hours ago, funky-rat said:

In a first wedding, yes, the bride's family pays for it, traditionally. 

This is certainly true in the US, but not so in other cultures.  When my son was engaged to a woman from Vietnam, we, as parents of the groom, were expected to pay for the entire shindig, including a suckling pig to be delivered to the bride's house on the morning of the wedding, as well as cash gifts to all the attending crowd.  Thanks god *that* engagement didn't last.  But Leida needs to understand, I think, that when in Rome etc., and if she wants an American wedding, her family should be prepared to pay for most, if not all, of it.

[Drogo]

10 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

 

14 hours ago, Honey said:

I've seen this  mentioned over and over, about it being terrible to have a cash bar.  Can someone explain why this is so bad?  It's not like people are being forced to buy a drink.  If they don't want to pay for alcohol, can't they just not drink?  Serious question.

It was a joke.

This is a snark forum.

Can't speak for others, but I was being serious about the tackiness that is a cash bar.  IMO, someone should not have to pull out their wallet if they want to have a drink at my wedding. 

Wine/beer open bar for a small event is maybe $10-15 a person, could be less if you use an outside caterer.  A lot of places also offer a pay-per-drink option with reduced drink pricing for the hosts (they settle the tab after the wedding) which works out in the couple's benefit if they don't have heavy drinkers.  Cash bar is "guests pay the regular price for drinks with their own money."  With say an open bar for 25 guests (some underage who you won't pay for), you're talking maybe $200, $300..  He had money to rent a house for her family to stay in; maybe he could have just cleaned his apartment instead and had a few hundred to get people wined up for nuptials.

Eric's tacky- and the cash bar, funeral parlor-looking venue and Party Central decoration suggestion just confirm it further. 

[Mothra]

2 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Can't speak for others, but I was being serious about the tackiness that is a cash bar.  IMO, someone should not have to pull out their wallet if they want to have a drink at my wedding. 

Wine/beer open bar for a small event is maybe $10-15 a person, could be less if you use an outside caterer.  A lot of places also offer a pay-per-drink option with reduced drink pricing for the hosts (they settle the tab after the wedding) which works out in the couple's benefit if they don't have heavy drinkers.  Cash bar is "guests pay the regular price for drinks with their own money."  With say an open bar for 25 guests (some underage who you won't pay for), you're talking maybe $200, $300..  He had money to rent a house for her family to stay in; maybe he could have just cleaned his apartment instead and had a few hundred to get people wined up for nuptials.

Eric's tacky- and the cash bar, funeral parlor-looking venue and Party Central decoration suggestion just confirm it further. 

When you invite someone to a party, you shouldn't expect them to pay for refreshments.  Provide *something*--California sparkling for a toast and to drink with the cake?--or a choice of water/iced tea, or nothing.  Don't be a weasel--if you can't afford to serve alcohol, don't serve alcohol.

[Pepper Mostly]

20 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Can't speak for others, but I was being serious about the tackiness that is a cash bar.  IMO, someone should not have to pull out their wallet if they want to have a drink at my wedding. 

Agreed. Its a party to which you are inviting guests. If you had a party at your home you wouldn't make your guests pay for drinks.

Wine and beer is even less expensive if you buy it yourself and bring it in.

Or don't have booze. I once went to a fancy, upper class wedding--Episcopalian church, with the reception on the grounds of the bride's grandparents' home. Not a drop of booze. (a bunch of us, the brides' workmates, bought a six pack and drank it in the car on the way home!)

Edited December 6, 2018 by Pepper Mostly

[funky-rat]

12 hours ago, Granny58 said:

sounds familiar.  was this in NEPA?

Indeed it was.

57 minutes ago, Mothra said:

This is certainly true in the US, but not so in other cultures.  When my son was engaged to a woman from Vietnam, we, as parents of the groom, were expected to pay for the entire shindig, including a suckling pig to be delivered to the bride's house on the morning of the wedding, as well as cash gifts to all the attending crowd.  Thanks god *that* engagement didn't last.  But Leida needs to understand, I think, that when in Rome etc., and if she wants an American wedding, her family should be prepared to pay for most, if not all, of it.

I understand that.  The way the question was phrased by the person I quoted made it sound like they were asking about US traditions.

[Empress1]

33 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Agreed. Its a party to which you are inviting guests. If you had a party at your home you wouldn't make your guests pay for drinks.

I'm firmly on the side of "no cash bars" and I always use the same "party at home" analogy. If you were having a dinner party and someone wanted a glass of wine, you wouldn't tell them "That'll be $5." You would pour them a glass of wine; if you didn't have wine, you'd say "Sorry, we don't have wine" and offer them what you did have, and you wouldn't charge them for that either. If you are inviting people somewhere, you shoulder the costs. I'm fine with limited booze or no booze if that's what the couple's budget allows for - like I said, I'm fine with whatever people serve at weddings as long as I don't have to pay for it.

There are lots of ways to cut corners for a wedding that guests won't notice. People won't remember what the flowers looked like at a wedding and even if they do, flowers have nothing to do with how much fun they have. They will remember if they had to come out of pocket for a drink. 

And like @Drogo said, how much money are we talking here? At least three of the guests are his daughters and Leida's son, who are underage. If Eric had money to rent a place for her parents and drive halfway across the country in an SUV on a sightseeing trip, he should be able to scrape together a few hundred bucks for booze for 20ish people. The cost of the gas alone would cover the cost of booze for 20.

Edited December 6, 2018 by Empress1

[Pepper Mostly]

22 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

And like @Drogo said, how much money are we talking here? At least three of the guests are his daughters and Leida's son, who are underage. If Eric had money to rent a place for her parents and drive halfway across the country in an SUV on a sightseeing trip, he should be able to scrape together a few hundred bucks for booze for 20ish people. The cost of the gas alone would cover the cost of booze for 20.

I think our lad Eric is the epitome of "penny wise and pound foolish". He can't seem to handle money at all. It baffles him.

[Spike]

23 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I'm firmly on the side of "no cash bars" and I always use the same "party at home" analogy. If you were having a dinner party and someone wanted a glass of wine, you wouldn't tell them "That'll be $5." You would pour them a glass of wine; if you didn't have wine, you'd say "Sorry, we don't have wine" and offer them what you did have, and you wouldn't charge them for that either. If you are inviting people somewhere, you shoulder the costs. I'm fine with limited booze or no booze if that's what the couple's budget allows for - like I said, I'm fine with whatever people serve at weddings as long as I don't have to pay for it.

There are lots of ways to cut corners for a wedding that guests won't notice. People won't remember what the flowers looked like at a wedding and even if they do, flowers have nothing to do with how much fun they have. They will remember if they had to come out of pocket for a drink. 

And like @Drogo said, how much money are we talking here? At least three of the guests are his daughters and Leida's son, who are underage. If Eric had money to rent a place for her parents and drive halfway across the country in an SUV on a sightseeing trip, he should be able to scrape together a few hundred bucks for booze for 20ish people. The cost of the gas alone would cover the cost of booze for 20.

I think production often pays for Air BnBs and travel for cast members and their families.  I doubt Eric has the resources to rent the cabin and the apartment in Baraboo.  I doubt unemployed Kalani was paying for the Air BnB in California.

[Drogo]

On ‎12‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 9:39 AM, Teriyaki Terror said:

Got that bar situation figured out here.. with no increase to floral budget..

 

11 minutes ago, Spike said:

I doubt Eric has the resources to rent the cabin and the apartment in Baraboo.  I doubt unemployed Kalani was paying for the Air BnB in California.

Eric definitely said he rented it (and the SUV) for her family's visit, and Kalani said she couldn't afford the continue paying for the Air B&B so they were going to Utah. 

I think production intervenes plenty, but notsomuch when it comes to pulling out their credit card.  90DF's happy to show us squalor whenever possible- not like Real Housewives and such where production's constantly trying to sell decadence.

[IvySpice]

We had a champagne/mimosa toast at our wedding, and that was it for alcohol. We could afford it, but we don't like it, and if any guests are unable to enjoy brunch without it, that's their problem. HOWEVER, we're not Eric, and we weren't getting married in Wisconsin. Eric is obviously on board with the local culture in Wisconsin, where it's pretty weird to have any social gathering at any hour of the day without beer. Since HE would want to drink at a wedding, he should provide it for his guests, or else have an event he can afford.

I don't get the showy wedding when you can't afford a house and furniture, anyway. I'm a practical gal. I'm down with the backyard BBQ, VFW potluck, or just a courthouse visit plus cake and punch.

If any of you are getting married at a VFW potluck any time soon, please invite me! I promise that you'll love my covered dish, and I'll bring the snark.

My go-to for potlucks: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1015300-roy-chois-braised-short-rib-stew

[doyouevengohere]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Agreed. Its a party to which you are inviting guests. If you had a party at your home you wouldn't make your guests pay for drinks.

Wine and beer is even less expensive if you buy it yourself and bring it in.

Or don't have booze. I once went to a fancy, upper class wedding--Episcopalian church, with the reception on the grounds of the bride's grandparents' home. Not a drop of booze. (a bunch of us, the brides' workmates, bought a six pack and drank it in the car on the way home!)

Up until I was 22 I had never once been to a wedding that had alcohol.  Usually the reception was in a church hall connected to the church and it was not allowed; plus I grew up in a very conservative area.  At my wedding we had the reception off grounds and had wine.  I'm sure we shocked a few!  I'm sure Eric would NOT be okay with not having alcohol at his wedding; he needs a few drinks if he's gonna marry she beast Ledia.  But a cash bar is extremely TACKY.

[Raja]

45 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Got that bar situation figured out here.. with no increase to floral budget..

 

Eric definitely said he rented it (and the SUV) for her family's visit, and Kalani said she couldn't afford the continue paying for the Air B&B so they were going to Utah. 

I think production intervenes plenty, but notsomuch when it comes to pulling out their credit card.  90DF's happy to show us squalor whenever possible- not like Real Housewives and such where production's constantly trying to sell decadence.

I think that the entire theme of the franchise is to show loser American getting someone above their class, normally in a physical attraction sense from a foreign nation. The young blond single mothers with Caribbean men with racist coming out after them,. being an anomaly. With the Green Arces Indonesian instead of Hungarian princess and rural laborer story I think that Eric's poorness is being over played as much as Leida's fabulous riches in Jakarta. In the past couple of years beyond the government fees for the visa and medical exams that go with it Eric has made international travel a part of his lifestyle so while his immediate cash on hand for floral displays might be low  the poorer he looks the better the show we have.

[sasha206]

There have been many a disgusting person on these 90 day fiance shows, but I don't think I've ever disliked anyone more than Steven, who appears to be the most immature, the most self-centered, manipulative jackass ever.  To complain that all your girlfriend does is care about a newborn is unbelievable.  I feel so sorry for Olga that she has to deal with this idiot.  I hope that he sees this episode and decides he needs serious help and therapy and feels ashamed of his behavior.

[Spike]

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

Got that bar situation figured out here.. with no increase to floral budget..

 

Eric definitely said he rented it (and the SUV) for her family's visit, and Kalani said she couldn't afford the continue paying for the Air B&B so they were going to Utah. 

I think production intervenes plenty, but notsomuch when it comes to pulling out their credit card.  90DF's happy to show us squalor whenever possible- not like Real Housewives and such where production's constantly trying to sell decadence.

I think they say that because they don’t want to appear brokeass.  I demand strict proof.

[Drogo]

Just now, Spike said:

they don’t want to appear brokeass.

Eric's couch is a balloon animal.  The jig is up. 

[Raja]

12 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Eric's couch is a balloon animal.  The jig is up. 

Eric's daughter's couch was the balloon animal. I think he is playing a role.

[Empress1]

13 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Eric's couch is a balloon animal.  The jig is up. 

I didn't know they still made those. Inflatable chairs were all the rage in my freshman dorm in the early aughts (so it would make total sense to me if the apartment and blow-up couch were Eric's 19-year-old daughter's).

Just now, Raja said:

Eric's daughter's couch was the balloon animal. I think he is playing a role.

I don't know ... I think it's the rare grown-ass man who makes himself look like he has less than he does, especially on television. And I think people who do are generally in higher income brackets, a la "the millionaire next door." Eric comes across like someone who's broke who's trying to appear middle class, not like someone who's got bank who's trying to appear middle class. And if he's playing a role, I don't think Leida is in on it. Leida seems genuinely surprised by how little he has. I don't think she could - would! - fake that. Didn't she say this episode that Eric had told her he made decent money?

Edited December 6, 2018 by Empress1

[sasha206]

On 12/3/2018 at 11:56 AM, Drogo said:

I would agree, if it wasn't so familiar.  Rather, it reminds me of feelings I felt once (and I know other non-abuser/murderers have felt also when their children were born) but taken completely out of context of the full new-parent experience.  Like someone took your worst moments during a stressful time, and made that into a blooper reel of your life to show the world "who you are."  Not sure if that makes sense. 

I would venture to guess your worst wouldn't be anywhere close to what we're seeing from Steven.  I see a kid who hasn't done anything to improve HIS OWN life.  He doesn't have a fixed address. But he's going to talk about how a mother needs to fix herself bc she's not giving HIM enough attention.  This a  woman who has her own apartment, is going to school to better herself, and who rightly is putting the infant's needs and wants in front of a relationship that wasn't built on a solid foundation anyway.  It's one thing to feel the things Steven is feeling.   We all feel selfish things.   It's another to express them to the point where a mother who had MAJOR surgery is in tears and has to capitulate to him.  And I'd venture to guess if you had a camera crew following you, you would have been on your best behavior.  We're seeing what is likely his best behavior b/c a camera crew is there and to me, that's concerning.  

You don't have to yell and scream in order for your actions to be perceived as scary.  I see a big ball of need that is manipulating every situation we're exposed to them on camera.  How he could put his needs over his infant son is unreal to me.  

Has he been loving towards her?  Other than her crying and him feeling somewhat remorseful, I haven't seen it.  He seems to be put out that he's "doing everything" while she takes care of an infant after having MAJOR surgery.  I see a kid who knows she's hotter than him, smarter than him, and doesn't really need him so he's doing everything he can to make her feel like she's lucky to have him and make her feel guilty that his needs over their son aren't being met.  She's managed to make it through a Russian orphanage and still have an apartment and go to school.  He's done nothing but be a slacker -- all the while having his grandparents be a part of his life. Olga seems to have no one and yet she's much more accomplished, much more reasonable, much less needy.  There's nothing wrong with being a server, but he has no fixed address and crashes at various places.  Clearly, this is a kid not motivated enough to be able to actually have a place with roommates.  Olga's only crime in my view is her lousy choice in a person to mate with.

Edited December 6, 2018 by sasha206

[b2H]

Slightly OT, but I think I have a story here that is relevant.  Some of you have seen my story where a former boyfriend dumped me in favor of a Chinese woman whom he brought over on a K-1.  They got married and have been together nearly 15 years.  I've met her once and he and I still occasionally communicate (today is his birthday, which opened up the following conversation).

Shortly after they married and relocated from NH to GA, she started up a business (nails and massage) with his support.  It became apparent that she was going to run the business using China rules rather than US rules and he got a bit upset about this, but she continued (he was in LE, so this was a bit of a problem for him).  Three years ago, he left GA to move to TN and she refused to go with him.  They've lived apart all this time and in TN, he tells me, her not moving to TN within two years is grounds for divorce.  She is still on a green card all these years later and is now involved in some pyramid scheme that's taking her to Hong Kong.  He has some legal recourse, but not much.  He sees a lawyer next week to begin divorce proceedings.  Now, in his 70s, he's devastated.

I can see this being the story with Leida and possibly Larisa.  I think Fern really does care for her guy, so I don't see this kind of scenario for her.  But the other two, absolutely.  I see some similarities between my friend and Eric, honestly.

[sasha206]

On 12/3/2018 at 4:26 PM, Drogo said:

 If Kalani had gone to Samoa after Asuelu had an appendectomy... and she was doing everything for him in a strange place with people she couldn't understand while he convalesced.. and he was cold and unwelcoming to her, telling her all the things she was doing wrong and none of the things she was doing right, and she expressed feeling unappreciated and begging for more acknowledgment- I wouldn't assume she was an abuser. 

The big  difference in this case is there's an INFANT to take care of post-surgery. An infant.  His son.  And the primary caretaker is the person who just went through major surgery who apparently has to also take care of the one adult in the situation whose body wasn't taxed, whose body isn't currently being used to give sustenance to his child.

And since you've commented maybe Steven is getting a bad edit, then it's also possible that while she's healing and taking care of an infant, she hasn't been criticizing things he is doing wrong and thanking him along the way.

Also, what is it she has criticized Steven for?  She wanted him to wash his hands before handling his son.  And that request generated comments from him that about being an asshole to him.  Really?  What was the other thing?  The carseat that he bought that wasn't appropriate for an infant?  Two things that deal with the baby's health and safety.  Meanwhile, his main complaint is her putting THEIR baby's needs in front of his.  

EDITED: Sorry Drogo, didn't see your withdrawing from the debate.  I commented before I read the entire thread.

Edited December 6, 2018 by sasha206

[politichick]

4 hours ago, Mothra said:

This is certainly true in the US, but not so in other cultures.  When my son was engaged to a woman from Vietnam, we, as parents of the groom, were expected to pay for the entire shindig, including a suckling pig to be delivered to the bride's house on the morning of the wedding, as well as cash gifts to all the attending crowd.  Thanks god *that* engagement didn't last.  But Leida needs to understand, I think, that when in Rome etc., and if she wants an American wedding, her family should be prepared to pay for most, if not all, of it.

OMG. Would you have actually done all of that?

[sainte-chapelle]

Eric needs to invite Debbie so she can make beef stew for the guests. 

[sasha206]

On 12/4/2018 at 1:04 PM, Elizzikra said:

He genuinely doesn't know (I don't think) that the c-section was way more painful than a vaginal delivery would have been. He doesn't know that a baby can't wait to eat. He doesn't know how exhausting it is to breastfeed. And he's absolutely right that a couple has to nurture their own relationship to be good co-parents but he has absolutely no idea how that should look when said co-parents have a newborn and just need to be in survival mode - so he's going about it all wrong with Olga.

He doesn't know she's clearly in pain?  That she had major surgery?  He has to be told these things? He is around the baby and yet doesn't know that the baby can't wait to eat?  He pretty much TOLD her the baby can wait to eat.  Essentially, he's either a complete idiot who is so stupid he can't see what is obvious or he places HIS needs in front of his partner's and the baby who can't feed itself, can't take care of itself.   I don't think anyone is that stupid.

[Mrs. Hanson]

4 hours ago, Mothra said:

This is certainly true in the US, but not so in other cultures.  When my son was engaged to a woman from Vietnam, we, as parents of the groom, were expected to pay for the entire shindig, including a suckling pig to be delivered to the bride's house on the morning of the wedding, as well as cash gifts to all the attending crowd.  Thanks god *that* engagement didn't last.  But Leida needs to understand, I think, that when in Rome etc., and if she wants an American wedding, her family should be prepared to pay for most, if not all, of it.

Out of all the things I would want delivered, this would be last, lol.  Cash gifts to the guests?  Sign me up!!!

Second bolding:  And they should!! Aren't they the most wealthiest family that ever wealthied???

[sasha206]

On 12/4/2018 at 6:06 PM, IvySpice said:

He's showing zero interest in learning. Olga tries to tell him what her experience is like, and he gets the scary face and shuts her down. She had clearly told him not to hug or shake her because of her incision pain, but he kept doing it and didn't seem to care. He has learning opportunities right there if he would just listen, but he wants to lecture and punish Olga instead. How dare she make the baby the #1 priority? I'll give him credit for better behavior when and if he shows it -- but that won't undo the wrongs we've seen. His half-assed online apology doesn't suggest he's made any progress to date.

How tragic for you. I agree that the world is full of selfish assholes like that. Now we get to watch one on TV. I wish decent people were more careful before reproducing with them. Poor Richie.

Totally agree.  I had a negative opinion about him episode 1.  Episode 2, I found him endearing.  He seemed excited to be there, excited to be a dad, wanting to do the right thing, and wanting to learn Russian.  That's more than we've seen from a lot of these Americans.  Episode 3, I didn't even blame him when he wanted to be in the room to watch his child born.  I knew he was being naive, but I didn't find it offputting as others did.  However, the last two episodes is where he has shown himself to be manipulative, self-centered, with lack of empathy.  Even when she cries, he seems to be mostly unmoved and then wants to make it sound like if SHE was different, HE'd be different.  Yes, his family life was horrible.  But Olga had absolutely no family.  He had grandparents involved in his life that appear to be loving.  Her life was likely infinitely worse -- and she is far more stigmatized in Russia.  And yet, even after having major surgery and being a mother to an infant, she is still a thoughtful and composed woman.  He seems to want to make every situation about his awful upbringing and yet he has no concern or empathy over hers.

Edited December 7, 2018 by sasha206

[Drogo]

Just now, sainte-chapelle said:

Eric needs to invite Debbie so she can make beef stew for the guests. 

They can pay by the mug.

[funky-rat]

20 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Out of all the things I would want delivered, this would be last, lol.  Cash gifts to the guests?  Sign me up!!!

Second bolding:  And they should!! Aren't they the most wealthiest family that ever wealthied???

David Poor and Annie had that at their wedding in Thailand.  David handed out money to all the attendees, although I believe it was said that it was a token amount, more for tradition than anything else.  He had to borrow that money from Chris.

Somehow, I think Leida's family is happy to be rid of her, because she is some sort of embarrassment to them.

[Pepper Mostly]

38 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

He doesn't know she's clearly in pain?  That she had major surgery?  He has to be told these things? He is around the baby and yet doesn't know that the baby can't wait to eat?  He pretty much TOLD her the baby can wait to eat.  Essentially, he's either a complete idiot who is so stupid he can't see what is obvious or he places HIS needs in front of his partner's and the baby who can't feed itself, can't take care of itself.   I don't think anyone is that stupid.

Right? He was actually in the room when the doctor literally cut her open and extracted a live human from her body. Does he think a bandaid and a couple of tylenol will fix her right up? He has the evidence of his own two eyes--Olga is pale, weepy, exhausted, and in pain. He needs to lay off.

[Mothra]

54 minutes ago, politichick said:

OMG. Would you have actually done all of that?

My husband was taking lessons in Cantonese (her family was ethnic Chinese) so he could make a speech at the wedding, and we had located a meat packer who could get us a baby pig, so, yeah.  You don't know what heaven is like until you have a Vietnamese daughter-in-law-to-be, btw ("John!  Help your mother!").

[Honey]

5 hours ago, Drogo said:

Can't speak for others, but I was being serious about the tackiness that is a cash bar.  IMO, someone should not have to pull out their wallet if they want to have a drink at my wedding. 

Wine/beer open bar for a small event is maybe $10-15 a person, could be less if you use an outside caterer.  A lot of places also offer a pay-per-drink option with reduced drink pricing for the hosts (they settle the tab after the wedding) which works out in the couple's benefit if they don't have heavy drinkers.  Cash bar is "guests pay the regular price for drinks with their own money."  With say an open bar for 25 guests (some underage who you won't pay for), you're talking maybe $200, $300..  He had money to rent a house for her family to stay in; maybe he could have just cleaned his apartment instead and had a few hundred to get people wined up for nuptials.

Eric's tacky- and the cash bar, funeral parlor-looking venue and Party Central decoration suggestion just confirm it further. 

Got it.  Thanks for taking the time to clarify that for me.

[sasha206]

This episode for slut people should be the biggest warning to wear condoms.  Kalani straight out hates the simpleton sperm donor for her child.  Steven and Olga's dynamic.  Alessandro and his asshole mom and Tasha/Tenielle with their asshole dad. 

[lucy711]

6 hours ago, Mothra said:

When you invite someone to a party, you shouldn't expect them to pay for refreshments.  Provide *something*--California sparkling for a toast and to drink with the cake?--or a choice of water/iced tea, or nothing.  Don't be a weasel--if you can't afford to serve alcohol, don't serve alcohol.

Yes.  Generally, in the USA, a wedding is the biggest party you will ever throw.  I know that I will never have another party that comes close to the time and money spent on my wedding.  So the idea is that you should pay for your guests to have a good time, including their alcohol.  After all, the guests are taking time out of their schedule to come and are most likely bringing a gift.  It's tradition that the meal expenses be covered by the couple getting married or their parents.

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, funky-rat said:

Somehow, I think Leida's family is happy to be rid of her, because she is some sort of embarrassment to them.

I think you are really onto something!!!

 

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

He was actually in the room when the doctor literally cut her open and extracted a live human from her body.

When I had my second son, my then hubby said later:  "I think I saw your intestines."  Now that deserves some TLC, STEVEN!

And per his whole, "We need to work on US!  We can't forget about US AS A COUPLE!"  Oh Steven, you Dr Phil/Dr Barbara DeAngelis/John Gottman wanna be, back that up and let's hear it again - you are the only hope for couples worldwide.  You can't manage a condom but you can solve this issue.

[the-grey-lady]

I've been with Mr. Wanders for just shy of 16 years (10 married). I'm pretty sure I've seen Olga cry more during the course of this show than I've cried in the past 16 years.

Is Steven seriously complaining that he's getting less attention than a TWO-WEEK-OLD BABY?

Run, Olga. Grab that helpless baby and run.

Edited December 10, 2018 by the-grey-lady
because I can do basic math, really

[Cherrio]

2 hours ago, Drogo said:

  2 hours ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Eric needs to invite Debbie so she can make beef stew for the guests. 

I bet Debbie's bith phtew is very much like Aunt Bea's kerosene pickles.

[Spike]

34 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I think you are really onto something!!!

 

When I had my second son, my then hubby said later:  "I think I saw your intestines."  Now that deserves some TLC, STEVEN!

And per his whole, "We need to work on US!  We can't forget about US AS A COUPLE!"  Oh Steven, you Dr Phil/Dr Barbara DeAngelis/John Gottman wanna be, back that up and let's hear it again - you are the only hope for couples worldwide.  You can't manage a condom but you can solve this issue.

Don’t they always have to move some of the intestines in order to get to the baby?  

[Mrs. Hanson]

12 minutes ago, Spike said:

Don’t they always have to move some of the intestines in order to get to the baby?  

I am not sure, I was not in a position to look, lol!!  Maybe there is a nurse in here to confirm?  All I really remember is it went by FAST.  Like, here we go, okay dad get your camera ready okay it's a boy okay, someone help me close.  And that included the tubal ligation.

[Spike]

14 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I am not sure, I was not in a position to look, lol!!  Maybe there is a nurse in here to confirm?  All I really remember is it went by FAST.  Like, here we go, okay dad get your camera ready okay it's a boy okay, someone help me close.  And that included the tubal ligation.

I googled and usually they move the intestines and the bladder to the side but leave them in the abdominal cavity.  Some surgeons remove them.  I’m not sure whether they place them on top of the body or next to it.

[millennium]

19 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I think it's silly to have a cash bar for 25 people.  I'd rather see fewer flowers and more booze.  But I'm also with those who said liquor would be required to attend that particular wedding.

Weddings are bad news all around.   There's the expectation that the bride's parents are going to shell out big bucks for the wedding and reception, and if they can't afford to, you can be sure somebody will be looking down their nose at them.   Ditto if they can't swing an open bar.   Then the bride has to weigh her romantic expectations (based on the wedding myth created by the bridal industry) and reconcile it with how much or how little there is to spend, which can lead to disappointment.   And regardless of how nice the wedding is, there will always be catty guests critical of everything and everyone -- the bride's dress, the best man's toast, that they hired a DJ instead of a live band, the quality of the meal, the flavor of the cake, whether the bride visited all the tables ...  I think it happens because let's face it, if you're not in the bridal party a wedding is mostly just a boring obligation -- one that will cost guests money, too -- and a crappy way to spend one of the two days you have off each week.   When folks get bored and resentful, they get nasty.   That's when the claws come out.

Edited December 6, 2018 by millennium

[Spike]

1 minute ago, millennium said:

Weddings are bad news all around.   There's the expectation that the bride's parents are going to shell out big bucks for the wedding and reception, and if they can't afford to, you can be sure somebody will be looking down their nose at them.   Ditto if they can't swing an open bar.   Then the bride has to weigh her romantic expectations (based on the wedding myth created by the bridal industry) and reconcile it with how much or how little there is to spend, which can lead to disappointment.   And regardless of how nice the wedding is, there will always be catty guests critical of everything and everyone -- the bride's dress, the best man's toast, that they hired a DJ instead of a live band, the quality of the meal, the flavor of the cake, whether the bride visited all the tables ...  I think it happens because let's face it, if you're not in the bridal party a wedding is mostly just a boring obligation -- one that will cost you money, too -- and a crappy way to spend one of the two days you have off each week.   When folks get bored and resentful, they get nasty.   That's when the claws come out.

Funerals are way overpriced as well and people are guilted into spending more than necessary.

[Rt66vintage]

On 12/4/2018 at 4:50 PM, CSS.MD said:

☀️ GOOD MORNING, AMERICA! 🇺🇸

This is your daily reminder that Leida is rich:

Do you see Leida looking to the left when she talks about her 300k wedding? All body language experts say this is a sign of LYING, making something up from imagination. 

Steven & Olga: Yes, near-by grandparents can be a huge help to young parents, but I don't think Steven's are like that. His grandmother said "he's a mess", and it seems like he was written off a while ago. Just seeing a glimpse of them & their lifestyle, I'm betting they have next to nothing to help financially. We've been told nothing of his mother, unfortunately. 

Most of us new mothers had men who worked 8+ hours a day, and we weren't burdened by entertaining their asses all day. Steven could be learning the Russian language in his free time, ffs. My opinion is he'll never change, he'll get worse, & Olga & Richie will be the brunt of his frightening rage. jmo

[PinkFlamingo]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

 

When I had my second son, my then hubby said later:  "I think I saw your intestines."  Now that deserves some TLC, STEVEN!

 

There's nothing like witnessing intestines to bring people close together as a couple. 😄

[Rdh1314]

38 minutes ago, Spike said:

Funerals are way overpriced as well and people are guilted into spending more than necessary.

BIG TIME.  It's horrible.