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Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel


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She's also addicted to screwing with her hair color. Now she's sporting an exact replica of Marilyn's platinum color and cut, but don't you bitches dare say she look like Marilyn! Not sure why she even bothers. She'll just stick it in a dirty bun, put on the headphones, and start the selfies. 

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“I didn’t do any major plastic surgery, and I’m sorry, I don’t really believe in major plastic surgery,” Portwood continues. “I don’t believe in plastic surgery on your face [but] everyone makes their own decisions on that. For me, personally, I don’t want to mess with anything else.”

You 'don't believe in' plastic surgery to the face, Amber? Like, you don't think it exists?

Or do you mean you feel some kind of moral opposition to plastic surgery to the face? Like, getting a breast lift and lipo is fine, but getting lip injections and filler is somehow wrong? And lipo is okay if you only "get a little" done?

 

Oh Amber. You are just too dumb to know how stupid you sound. It's a coping mechanism that should serve you well once Matt has bled you dry and moved on.

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"I just want to be a good role model for Leah and that’s another reason why I wanted to start my own businesses,” Portwood adds. “I want people to know me for more than just from being Teen Mom OG, because there’s a lot more to me.”

Instead of being a "role model" for Leah with your bullshit boutique, how about getting her to school on time, showing up for her meaningful events, not bringing dirtbags in her life and not skipping the visitation dates that were scheduled?  She won't remember your totally rad online store 25 years from now, but she will remember that you didn't show up for those school winter concerts. 

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“I don’t know if I feel frantic or anything,” Portwood adds. “I’m kind of scared — not for any particular reason — just the fact that I’m getting married. We are on time and we pretty much know exactly what we want to do. We’re just trying to stay level-headed, because there’s a lot going on right now."

You should be scared of marrying him, Amber. He is a sociopath and will destroy you once you're no longer useful. 

She needs to trust her instincts and not marry this guy. 

Ambien, read this:http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/the-gift-of-fear-by-gavin-de-becker

Edited by CofCinci
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Hmm, medication for anxiety. There it is. She started her downfall with Klonopin ... I wonder if she's back there. She certainly seems mostly zoned out these days (unless she's charging Farrah like a rhino).

It's actually quite creepy. Matt is spending her money like water, and transforming her into a Marilyn/Anna Nicole zombie. She doesn't even understand how or why they're being sued so much. This cannot end well. 

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From the People article:

“[Matt] is completely into it, even more than me maybe,” she jokes of the 45-year-old. “He is writing down the guest list and we already have 200 people on it, I don’t even know 50 of them! Every single Teen Mom [star] will be invited. Every single one from Teen Mom 2 and Teen Mom OG.”

Why is he inviting people that they don't know to their wedding?   That it truly creepy.  It's like he is inviting his next victim to his wedding.  

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2 minutes ago, LBS said:

From the People article:

“[Matt] is completely into it, even more than me maybe,” she jokes of the 45-year-old. “He is writing down the guest list and we already have 200 people on it, I don’t even know 50 of them! Every single Teen Mom [star] will be invited. Every single one from Teen Mom 2 and Teen Mom OG.”

Why is he inviting people that they don't know to their wedding?   That it truly creepy.  It's like he is inviting his next victim to his wedding.  

Assume she means he is inviting all his deadbeat friends who will come out of the woodwork for free food and alcohol, even though Amber has never met them.

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1 hour ago, MissMel said:

Or all of his kids and their mothers.

Are you crazy? Amber can barely stand to be around her own kid. She's certainly not going to foot the bill for a bunch of lying hosebeasts who made Matty look bad and their offspring to eat, drink, and be merry. Hell, she doesn't foot the bill for her own kid to eat, drink, and be merry.

 

Matt wants all the Teen Moms and the Teen Mom 2s to be there so he can scope out if there's a more desirable patsy in the mix. Amber probably won't have one legit friend or family member in the mix at her own wedding. You know if she even has someone like that in her corner, Matt has probably chased them away by now.

 

(If it wasn't clear, I was being facetious about the women being lying hosebeasts but I am sure that's how Amber thinks of them).

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Glad I saw this in the morning and not at night

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmberLPortwood/status/845130127230980097?p=v

Um...what's going on here? Is that headphones or earmuffs?

 

And, you're "bored" Amber? But I thought you were so busy being a hands on manager at your "boutique". Don't you have books to go over, inventory to review, customer satisfaction surveys to analyze?

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17 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Instead of being a "role model" for Leah with your bullshit boutique, how about getting her to school on time, showing up for her meaningful events, not bringing dirtbags in her life and not skipping the visitation dates that were scheduled?  She won't remember your totally rad online store 25 years from now, but she will remember that you didn't show up for those school winter concerts. 

You should be scared of marrying him, Amber. He is a sociopath and will destroy you once you're no longer useful. 

She needs to trust her instincts and not marry this guy. 

Ambien, read this:http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/the-gift-of-fear-by-gavin-de-becker

Matt isolates Amber. Where is her family, or that friend who went with her to get her nails done last season

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On March 22, 2017 at 4:16 PM, peskipiksi said:

More from Matt's book (some overlaps with what was quoted upthread):  (My favorite is line two...he didn't even know Teen Mom was still filming, you guys!  His love was pure!)

I just have so many questions:

Why does a book about his life read like a tell-all about the Moms?

What more could he possibly have left to say that could fill a whole book?

Why does this chapter jump around from one topic to another so horribly?

What is with the Farrah obsession? Didn't realize this book was a rant sesh on Farrah

Why is this so poorly written?

WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT ANYTHING HE HAS TO SAY??!?!

UGH the more I think about this the angrier I get. Who does he think he is to write entire sections on the other cast members? It's like a giant book of judgement on everyone else except himself.

Edited by BXD
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2 hours ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

He was probably concentrating on STEM subjects when he attended MIT.  No time for English Comp.

Seriously.  Dude was off inventing the internet with Al Gore or serving as the inspiration for Matt Damon's role in Good Will Hunting.  Try to forgive his grammar -- Mr. Baier was meant for bigger things.

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3 minutes ago, druzy said:

Viewers will

watch as Matt & Co. go snowboarding, go out to dinner and talk about how Matt has been unfairly shown in a negative light by the public over the past few years.

Oh, I'd love to watch that special but I've got my lobotomy schedule that day.  Blerg.

I'm actually really disgusted by MTV for this special:
-Paid for Matt's college-aged daughter transportation/lodging
-Paid for Matt's teenage son transportation/lodging
-Paid for Matt's cousin transportation/lodging
-Paid for Matt's friend Jeff transportation/lodging
-Paid for Matt's "Redhead Female Friend" transportation/lodging
-Hair stylist for special daughter bonding segment
-Wine and dine everyone
-Snowboarding trip (where in Indiana?!!!)
 

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21 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I would watch Being Gary. Matt, not even to hate watch.

I would too.  Clipping coupons, paying bills, maintaining his responsibilities, writing in his journal - and most importantly --- fathering his daughters.

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12 hours ago, CofCinci said:

 

This is so disgusting. The world is going to hell. We've got Amber's legion of fans tweeting "Your so pretty!" and she has a fashion and make-up line. I know talented people who have worked hard for years and can't get that kind of break. Matt is a middle-aged, unemployed, deadbeat dad who trolled teenagers until one was dumb enough to fall for it. I have a family member who is struggling to have his book, that he worked on for years, published. 

 I guess Being David (Janelle's latest loser) is next since irresponsibility and bad behavior is what it takes to be successful these days.  

*Sorry, messed up the quote.

 


 

Edited by Lizz
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5 hours ago, AmyFarrahFowler said:

Wasn't there a Being Catelynn as well?

Yes, there was a "being catelynn," which aired when they first brought the TMOG on.

I think the "Being Deb" was the most ridiculous one yet. Debra sold her dignity for MTV money because when we first met Debra she seemed like an intelligent upper class mother with a long lasting career in a very professional field...now we have her following her porno daughter around begging her for face lift money and wearing leather while rapping with her "crew" singing Debs OG.

MTV has basically ruined all of their lives and when this show ends Debra is screwed in the professional world and won't make it as a rapper. Tsk. Tsk. I won't feel bad either because of that season where she thought it was appropriate to talk down to their real estate agent and even Sophia had to say she wasn't being very nice.

Wow. I went on a ramble - my post was just to say "Yes, there was a being catelynn," which aired when they first brought the TMOG back. ?

Edited by Calm81
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Most reality shows have their people sign NDA contracts and won't allow them to share details of filming and behind-the-scenes stuff. They can only do that in a controlled environment (like the TEEN MOM specials). It's interesting to me that MTV allowed Matt to write a book that's basically about being on the show. Damn, I hope they get sued. Again. 

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On 3/24/2017 at 9:08 PM, CofCinci said:

I would too.  Clipping coupons, paying bills, maintaining his responsibilities, writing in his journal - and most importantly --- fathering his daughters.

Yep.  I also want to see him buy up his whole entire block before Amber even purchases one house.  Then, after the show ends, we can have a check-up special featuring Amber begging him for a place to stay because Matt cleaned out her bank account and took off in the middle of the night.  Without telling her they were getting evicted again.  

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On 3/26/2017 at 9:01 AM, mamadrama said:

Most reality shows have their people sign NDA contracts and won't allow them to share details of filming and behind-the-scenes stuff. They can only do that in a controlled environment (like the TEEN MOM specials). It's interesting to me that MTV allowed Matt to write a book that's basically about being on the show. Damn, I hope they get sued. Again. 

One of reviews or reports on one of the mom's books mentioned something about how it became a best-seller, explaining that it wasn't like most of us think and not like your real authors like Stephen King, etc. and part of that article explained that how MTV got a cut of the funds. So, they probably did sign off on his book but they get some money from the sales. 

It was definitely explained that some authors purchase books from Amazon at the full price to sell those books at the book signings. The discounted books purchased directly through their publisher don't effect the "best seller" lists the same way. They are able to return the books purchased at full price within a certain amount of time and get their money back, and because of the way the best seller list is tabulated, as long as the purchase another batch in a certain time frame, they can stay on the list for a bit before it caught up, kind of like kiting checks (for those of us old enough to remember checks). It can also get your account banned, but the one book wonders don't care about that pesky little fact.

Then it explained how the Teen Mom got to "best seller" level, but I don't think it was by kiting. I'm pretty sure all of the Teen Mom cast members who write books use the same publisher, and there was something there, like the size of the publisher or the type of publishing, that could get them to the top because there were not a lot of books in that classification, but considered in the overall rankings, was way down the list. Also, the timing of when the books were released made a difference, but that is probably all books, with two romance novelists not wanting to release in the same month, for example, and the publishers controlled that even if they were with different publishing houses.

Thinking back, maybe MTV had an interest in the publisher, too? I have about two dozen tabs open at the moment or I would google it. I know we have an author that reads comments here because I remember it being mentioned, but drawing a blank on that also. Actually, I may be responding to that author.

All that said, please have not gotten approval to have that Mr. Housewife guy write the book! Better yet, please think that by having him write it, you were getting one over on MTV, so they will block the sales AND sue you for a contract violation! There has to be an even better option that has him criminally charged with something, fraud or unjust enrichment, AND sued civilly! There is no money to collect and he would just file bankruptcy on the debt, but we are owed something for watching this dreck! It certainly isn't a "Being Matt" episode that I will not watch, just like I did not watch that abuser Butch's "Being" episode. I hope both the book and the episode bomb dramastically.

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I can't believe no one has addressed the fact that this chick is driving a CORVETTE in the promos!! A CORVETTE and unless the editing is funny, Leah is telling her Happy Birthday as they are driving off (or appear to be because of the green screen). She owes all this money in taxes, doesn't pay her rent and now she is throwing money at a brand new sports car? SMH

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56 minutes ago, IgnoranceisBLISS said:

I can't believe no one has addressed the fact that this chick is driving a CORVETTE in the promos!! A CORVETTE and unless the editing is funny, Leah is telling her Happy Birthday as they are driving off (or appear to be because of the green screen). She owes all this money in taxes, doesn't pay her rent and now she is throwing money at a brand new sports car? SMH

It will all come back to bite her in the ass.  Tick tock.

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1 hour ago, IgnoranceisBLISS said:

I can't believe no one has addressed the fact that this chick is driving a CORVETTE in the promos!! A CORVETTE and unless the editing is funny, Leah is telling her Happy Birthday as they are driving off (or appear to be because of the green screen). She owes all this money in taxes, doesn't pay her rent and now she is throwing money at a brand new sports car? SMH

No need to comment on a leased car as @CofCinci pointed out. It is all smokes and mirrors. It is to give the illusion Amber and Matt are raking in the money. I wouldn't doubt MTV signed off on that car in order to advertise for Chevy.

What I will comment on is, in the trailer it looks as if Maci is packing and moving again. I hope I am wrong.

Quote

Then it explained how the Teen Mom got to "best seller" level, but I don't think it was by kiting. I'm pretty sure all of the Teen Mom cast members who write books use the same publisher,

I think someone here once posted information on that publisher and confirmed this info.

Edited by GreatKazu
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On 3/27/2017 at 0:10 PM, Christina said:

One of reviews or reports on one of the mom's books mentioned something about how it became a best-seller, explaining that it wasn't like most of us think and not like your real authors like Stephen King, etc. and part of that article explained that how MTV got a cut of the funds. So, they probably did sign off on his book but they get some money from the sales. 

It was definitely explained that some authors purchase books from Amazon at the full price to sell those books at the book signings. The discounted books purchased directly through their publisher don't effect the "best seller" lists the same way. They are able to return the books purchased at full price within a certain amount of time and get their money back, and because of the way the best seller list is tabulated, as long as the purchase another batch in a certain time frame, they can stay on the list for a bit before it caught up, kind of like kiting checks (for those of us old enough to remember checks). It can also get your account banned, but the one book wonders don't care about that pesky little fact.

Then it explained how the Teen Mom got to "best seller" level, but I don't think it was by kiting. I'm pretty sure all of the Teen Mom cast members who write books use the same publisher, and there was something there, like the size of the publisher or the type of publishing, that could get them to the top because there were not a lot of books in that classification, but considered in the overall rankings, was way down the list. Also, the timing of when the books were released made a difference, but that is probably all books, with two romance novelists not wanting to release in the same month, for example, and the publishers controlled that even if they were with different publishing houses.

Thinking back, maybe MTV had an interest in the publisher, too? I have about two dozen tabs open at the moment or I would google it. I know we have an author that reads comments here because I remember it being mentioned, but drawing a blank on that also. Actually, I may be responding to that author.

All that said, please have not gotten approval to have that Mr. Housewife guy write the book!

Yep, I am the author. And it was probably very easy for her to make the bs list because, as you suggested, the category is so small that it has little competition. I make the Amazon bestsellers' list every time a new book comes out because there are only around 20 books in my category at any given time. For a book in my category to make #1, I only have to sell around 1200 copies in a week. For some categories, it is FAR less. The NYT is a bit harder. I made it back in 2014. Still, it only took 20,000 copies in a week to make it-definitely not the millions I once imagined it took.

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3 hours ago, EmeraldGirl said:

One of those Teen Mom specials. Amber looks ... thinner. Cate desperately needs a breast reduction, but I'm sure Tyler tells her he's a boob guy. He's a boob alright. 

You know Amber loves the "angles" ...she knows how to trick the camera into believing she's thinner until we see the teen mom OG episodes.

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(edited)
21 hours ago, EmeraldGirl said:

One of those Teen Mom specials. Amber looks ... thinner. Cate desperately needs a breast reduction, but I'm sure Tyler tells her he's a boob guy. He's a boob alright. 

 

She really does. I had one and immediately felt better.  She probably tells herself that her boobs are what make her looks so big (as opposed to the extra 50 pounds of quesadilla weight) and if she got rid of them, she'd have to own up to that. 

Edited by Birdee
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