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S07.E05: Trouble in Paradise


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1 minute ago, Neurochick said:

I think both of them don't want to be "Heather."  The show made Heather look awful for leaving what's his name.  Tristan's no fool, if he wanted a divorce, the show would make him look like a heel. 

He does look like a fool though for staying with her. 

  • Love 13
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I know this would never happen, but I think it’s only fair that Tristan be allowed to speak with the guy she totally didn’t stalk and steal from.   I know I’d want to have a chat with him if I were in his shoes.  This is absolutely going to end badly and he’ll have no one to blame but himself (and his penis, of course).  For his sake, I hope he wraps it up tight.

Edited by SuzyLee
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Soooo, she said she's never been this "physical" with anybody else? Is she implying that she was a virgin? If that's the case, yeah, the show would make Tristan look like a douchebag and so wrong for leaving her. She's manipulative. I'm pretty sure the "confession" didn't come out until after they had slept together.

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It's interesting.

I had a good friend who met a man that she fell for.  This man lied to her about two important things (marriage, how many children he had).  When she found out the truth, I told her to kick him to the curb, but she didn't.  She said she loved him.  They eventually married and were pretty happily married "until death do us part."  My point is, I was soooooo sure he'd fuck her over because...well, I guess it's because of what I'd seen.  But I was wrong.

So, you never know.

But, I don't think they'll make the eight weeks.  No way.

Edited by Neurochick
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1 minute ago, humbleopinion said:

 Bet dollars to doughnuts that Mia still did not let Tristan kiss her on the mouth........just boink....

Like a prostitute? (The only thing I know about prostitutes I learned from the movie Pretty Woman, so... )

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17 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I think both of them don't want to be "Heather."  The show made Heather look awful for leaving what's his name.  Tristan's no fool, if he wanted a divorce, the show would make him look like a heel. 

I agree.  I think Tristan is being careful knowing what a potential backlash there could be if he backed out now.  I don't care if he says he "loves" her, he doesn't trust her and that's obvious from the micro-expressions on his face.  Pastor Cal has probably laid it on the line with him.  Stay in it, see how it goes, you don't want to be labeled a quitter.  Plus as we have suspected in the past, the show may now sweeten the pot if they choose to stay together through a situation like this instead of call it quits.  Him saying, "Who wouldn't love Mia" sounds like he is justifying saying that when he really doesn't mean it.  He just doesn't want to look like a "religious hypocrite", to borrow a phrase from Amber.

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10 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

Why didn’t Dr. Jess ask Mia about the credit card fraud? I wonder if Tristan is staying with her because they had sex. And they are in love already. smh. I don’t think this will last. 

I'd be willing to bet on it, that she had sex with him before the confession. Whatever else she is, this girl is manipulative --and she's good at it. 

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Tristian is a fool. He loves her? He didn't even spend a week with her yet cuz she was in jail for two days. The story she came up with is elaborate and wild. It's not just... a simple omission.

I just read about the VH1 contestant who had an arrest warrant for murdering his wife/girlfriend and then committed suicide. So that's why they are being really careful to reiterate over and over again that they did all the background checks in the world and somehow this all happened right after the books were closed. I'm still side-eyeing everyone, but especially Tristian. You can tell everything in his gut is telling him to run. That's why he's convinced himself he loves her. Because for some reason, he's determined to stay on TV.

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Bingo! Mia is exactly the religious hypocrite that Amber is describing...

 Ameea using her women's Bible study as a character witness...How about covering Thou shall not steal?...that will be a hoot and a holler...

Hey Pastor Cal...you another example of religious hypocrite that Amber is calling out?

Why are you not counseling Mia to confess her transgressions... to apologize all those she hurt, deceived, continues to bamboozle.....

Edited by humbleopinion
  • Love 15
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I'm curious about what exactly they're in love with. The idea of marriage? He can't be in love with HER because up until probably hours before that counselling session, she was presenting a completely different facade and persona. Everything she had claimed to be was a lie. I could see him thinking he's fallen in love with who he thought she was, but once that illusion or the haze of lust/sex is shattered, it's going to be heartbreak central because he will disconnect and become distant. I don't foresee them going beyond the 8 weeks. Everything in his body language, the bags under his eyes, and even his subtle facial expressions are screaming, "Run." He doesn't trust her, and no marriage can be built on lies or survive without trust. There will continue to be a nagging feeling in his gut every time she tells him something. He'll always wonder which part is true and what's a lie? That's no way to live.

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1 hour ago, PityFree said:

 How did Dave manage to go up all the stairs at the ruins and not perspire as much as he is while doing a little bit of salsa dancing??

It probably wasn’t a little bit. Imagine how many times they must have had to do it for the recording! Also, he was wearing freaking long pants and a shirt. I can’t blame him. My husband would have melted away too and would have hated it

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10 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

Why are these experts so sympathetic?  Do they really believe Mia?  They make me sick.  They look like jerks.

They're all pussyfooting around her because they are afraid that if they don't they'll do something that makes them look bad.  Unfortunately, they failed because what they're doing looks even worse than what they think they're avoiding.  Mia is a lying sack of shit and eventually the crazy will start to show.....At Tristan's expense, unfortunately.  The show is responsible for whatever future hurt he endures as far as I'm concerned, no matter how "appropriately" they try to look like they're handling the situation.  A real friend would tell you not to ignore the big waving red flag and to get away from her as soon as possible before you get any more involved with a psycho case.  Instead the experts try to spin it to look like Tristan is doing the right thing by staying with her.  They are beneath contempt in my book!

Edited by Yeah No
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1 hour ago, PityFree said:

 How did Dave manage to go up all the stairs at the ruins and not perspire as much as he is while doing a little bit of salsa dancing??

Because the production people sprayed his shirt with water for the salsa dancing.

I've seen people less sweaty after a spin class.

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9 minutes ago, LilaFowler said:

Did anyone see the previews for next week shown during Seven Year Switch? What is Amber trying to say about the whole apartment thing?

It sounds like she doesn't want to live in an apartment that he shared with an ex.

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51 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I'd be willing to bet on it, that she had sex with him before the confession. Whatever else she is, this girl is manipulative --and she's good at it. 

Men will overlook a LOT when we're being sedated with sex.  It doesn't help that the experts aren't calling out Mia's BS.

The show needs to hire some people from this board to talk sense to him. 

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I think Dave was pretty much done when he found out that his friend and Amber had practiced baby making. The fact that they both have different ideas about religion is another strike against them. I sort of feel like the “experts” are just laughing at us thinking they actually want to match people. With all their supposed research they should’ve had a clue about a shared gym and the possibility that there might have been some cross pollination. And the religious difference is a huge thing. Huge. Way to completely not match a couple. Add the one-sided baby fever to the mix and this screams miss to me. 

Danielle and Bobby are still so boring. They seem like the couple you’d go out to dinner with who wouldn’t have much to add to the conversation. You’d share an interesting story from work and they’d sit there. Your partner would tell a funny anecdote and they would laugh but have no type of follow up. By the end of the evening you and yours would be exhausted and D&B would think the evening went fine. 

Tristan and Mia. It’s hard to verbalize how dumb this situation is. She’s a manipulative liar and it disgusts me that the experts are soft peddling the pile of crap she’s selling. He is quickly losing any sympathy from me for being stupid and not wanting real, solid answers. Love? Love! Tristan are you an idiot are simply scared of looking bad on tv? Or do you think the sexy times means she’s now honest, because the frell?! The experts are dancing so fast to cover their behinds. They checked! They’re thorough! They did their due diligence! They promise! Why will no one ask this women out right about being a stalker? About being a thief? Gack! I want to shoot my tv Elvis style! 

Edited by ramble
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4 minutes ago, ramble said:

 Love! Tristan are you an idiot are simply scared of looking bad on tv?

Why didn't he leave when she got arrested...  And now she lied to him about it!?  That's the problem, they all care so much about how they look on tv and not about their marriages.  That's why they go to sleep with makeup on.  Hey Dave you have a sweaty shirt, so what get over it and dance, YOU JUST GOT MARRIED shouldn't you be excited about it.  Feel bad for Amber, that won't last.

 

I yell at the TV alot when watching this show ha. 

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1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

Why are these experts so sympathetic?  Do they really believe Mia?  They make me sick.  They look like jerks.

Because the experts don't care anymore, they just want their paycheck. The vast majority of matches over the various seasons had disaster written all over them. 

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Bobby needs to always wear a hat and t-shirt. He was almost cute in that one really short scene toward the end. His hair and clothes are preppy 90s and I just can't. 

I'm happy the couples (2/3 of them anyway) got to spend time together. That's a nice change from previous seasons. I'm sure it's helpful having someone to talk to who is actually walking in your shoes.

Dave is so checked out. His mouth says one thing but his face says another, and has ever since the gym buddy story was shared. I really need to know the dirt! 

Everyone has thoroughly covered my opinions on the Tristan and Mia situation, so nothing to add there. 

  • Love 12
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And yeah, Dave. You did "undersell" your religious requirements during the interviews. Honest to dog, I don't even blame the experts anymore when the applicants continually lie to increase their chances of being chosen.

Tristan, I want to be sympathetic towards you about being bamboozled, but you gotta stop licking your lips, dude.

Edited by 2727
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6 minutes ago, Squirrely said:

Bobby needs to always wear a hat and t-shirt. He was almost cute in that one really short scene toward the end. His hair and clothes are preppy 90s and I just can't. 

I was laughing when I saw him climbing the ruins in his tucked in polo shirt.

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1 hour ago, Squirrely said:

I'm happy the couples (2/3 of them anyway) got to spend time together. That's a nice change from previous seasons. I'm sure it's helpful having someone to talk to who is actually walking in your shoes.

Anyone else think this is just so they can save money using one camera crew?

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2 hours ago, OnTime said:

Because the production people sprayed his shirt with water for the salsa dancing.

I've seen people less sweaty after a spin class.

Could be the addition of nerves/not being comfortable. My boyfriend regularly bikes 100 miles and bareky sweats have him do something he doesn't like dancing or speaking to a crowd and he is drenched in sweat.

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Bobby dresses like he is 57 years old not 27 years old...Grandpa collared golfing shirt tucked into his Bermuda shorts and belt to climb the ruin....

Horrors if his shirt gets untucked....

Danielle please fix his wardrobe....

Edited by humbleopinion
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1 hour ago, scruffy73 said:

My recording got jacked up so someone, please tell me what Mia finally confessed that made Tristan say she lied to him.

After being arrested Mia said that someone stole her identity, and she never heard of they guy she supposedly stalked. 

So now she came clean and said she did know the guy and used to date him.  But hey Mia and Tristan had sex and they're in love now.  I guess time heals all wounds (time = a couple of days).

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2 hours ago, Marsh said:

I was laughing when I saw him climbing the ruins in his tucked in polo shirt.

 

18 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Bobby dresses like he is 57 years old not 27 years old...Grandpa collared golfing shirt tucked into his Bermuda shorts and belt to climb the ruin....

Danielle please fix his wardrobe....

Bobby looked like a mailman at the Mayan ruins to me!  He has got to stop letting his mommy pick out his clothes for him...she probably packed his honeymoon suitcase for him.

I still can't figure out what Danielle likes about him so much...he just seems really boring with no personality, and looks like a little kid.  There is no way I would be able to take him seriously as a man or a husband.  Every time they kiss or anything, I squirm/roll my eyes/throw up a little.  He just really grosses me out for some reason...I have a hard time even watching the scenes with the two of them.  

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Omg.... that salsa class. What is David's problem... if I were amber I would run immediately. He definitely is just not a happy person. I never even saw him crack a smile. I am surprised by how normal Amber is acting so far. Despite her googly eyed breathless expressions, she actually is very together and has been seemingly very pleasant. Not even when he weirdly wouldnt salsa dance. I get it that a lot of jock-y type guys would consider salsa flamboyant but hes obviously not comfortable stepping outside his comfort zone even an inch. 

I feel like Bobby's whole look and persona come from the early 1990s... from the haircut to the clothes. Strange. 

Mia had to admit to the world that she stalked a guy at least three times, is crazy and obsessive. Not easy ! Maybe that's why she had sex with him without further ado. Did she actually say shed never been that physical with anyone? After lying about not being crazy ? 

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Mia said the COPS told her that her "background was clean" and Jessica says "Your background was clean, we've seen it..."  But they aren't talking about the same time frame.

 

For Mia's story to be true, the cops arrested a random woman going on her honeymoon, got her mug shot and prints, held her for at least a day and there was never any reason.  Because computers can't search for mistaken identity in seconds.  And cops can't call another precinct (even at night) to determine what the issue is. 

 

Mia's "deny, deny, deny" speech was chilling.

 

Plus, it really seems like she had sex with him just to sell her story.  That's more manipulative and calculating than we've ever seen on this show.  Mia's playing 4D chess... 

Edited by Jack Sampson
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33 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

Mia said the COPS told her that her "background was clean" and Jessica says "Your background was clean, we've seen it..."  But they aren't talking about the same time frame.

For Mia's story to be true, the cops arrested a random woman going on her honeymoon, got her mug shot and prints, held her for at least a day and there was never any reason.  Because computers can't search for mistaken identity in seconds.  And cops can't call another precinct (even at night) to determine what the issue is. 

Mia's "deny, deny, deny" speech was chilling.

Plus, it really seems like she had sex with him just to sell her story.  That's more manipulative and calculating than we've ever seen on this show.  Mia's playing 4D chess... 

Pretty much this. Unfortunate that the "experts" are fine with the obvious.  I still think her father is a major tool for portraying her as Snow White and deliberating with himself in THs and to all within earshot whether T's good enough for her.  

In shallow news, I wonder if he'll ever get tired of kissing the top of her head because she always aims her neckless body at his armpits.

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7 hours ago, 2727 said:

That's fair. Dave doesn't want to visit a vagina that she shared with a friend of his.

You can bet the guy she dated was and is immature and freely broadcast all the details of their intimate moments to include where and what they did.  Some guys are stupid like that.  Dave probably egged him on for details and they all had a good laugh at Amber's expense.  Now he looks like a total ass for engaging in that foolishness and is worried his boys are going to clown him once they put two and two together - if they haven't already.  

10 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Tristen.  Don’t consummate the marriage.  Pretty please.

Too late. Mia's manipulating ass figured out she needed to consummate the marriage to lessen the possibility of an annulment.  Bitch knows exactly what she's doing - with her lying ass.

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9 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Anyone else catch Mia's reason for the crime spree was.... rebounding from her ex...

Didn't even raise an eyebrow by any of the experts...they were so eager to sweep her lying under the carpet...

Mia  explained she was in a relationship with her ex...then she rebounded from him with criminal activity, like that was a totally normal and acceptable  reaction to breaking up with someone.

I did catch the 'rebounding from her ex' part, but I didn't hear 'rebounding with criminal activity'.  I thought *maybe* she had "rebounded" by going out with his best friend, or something, and that warrant was his way of getting revenge

If someone broke up with me without explanation, would I bang on their door afterward saying, "Let me in! I need to talk to you"!??  I confess, I  probably would... once. But not 3 times! ...And if that 'ex' had left me with his credit card to use, would I use it just one more time, for revenge? No. Never. But maybe Mia would.

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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Dave is a jerk with a million excuses. He was not married before because he had to find something wrong with every woman he dated. Even if Amber hadn't previously dated his friend, he would have found something else to complain about. There is something incredibly shady and immature about a 37 year old man who is still friends with guys who trash women they date. Another failing on the part of the so-called experts. 

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I also think that the difference in religious beliefs between Dave and amber is fake. Dave does not strike me as a religious person. Especially not when everything he says comes out with the same poker face expression. 

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5 hours ago, EmZeeGee said:

I'd been trying to figure out what was wrong with Dave. (I think everyone that agrees to this show has some fundamental flaw and I try suss out what it is.) He seems to have a stable well-paying career, what looked to be a solid group of friends who were married and is good looking enough, just enough. Tonight, it finally clicked. He not only appears to be highly irritable (dancing and when they packed on their way to the honeymoon), he comes across as an escape artist. By that I mean someone always looking for an out in a relationship. He's already named multiple instances where he would have skedaddled. To be fair, one of those instances is a potential spouse lying about why they have warrants out for their arrest, but even so, he seems intent on finding an escape route.  "She's been with a friend of mine." " She's not religious." He's on this show to try to get around his usual escapes (whether this was a conscious or subconscious thing, who knows) and see if someone can endure his irritability.

I agree with you about Dave. While I don't blame him at all for saying that if Amber got arrested on the way to the honeymoon, he'd be out (I would too, as should anybody with any sense), he does seem to be the sort of person who always has one foot out the door, runs at the first sign of trouble, and doesn't want to do anything he might not be good at. It's salsa dancing, my dude. It ain't that deep. Even if you're bad at it, who cares? Be bad at it, laugh it up and make it a funny story for later. He had a fucking tantrum. I was embarrassed for him. Amber is going to be tripping over herself and apologizing for every little thing she does, trying to keep him happy. That's no way to live.

These are some lackluster-ass couples. The only one that has a shot is Bobby and Danielle, and they're boring AF. Amber will hold on as long as she can because she really wants a baby (again, still, some more: she should have gone to a sperm bank), but Dave is looking for the exit. I did like that he put the underselling of religion on him and not the experts - if all he said was "I can't date an atheist," that's a VERY big window that Amber fits into. 

Tristan is making a fool of himself. It's awful. Mia is not all there, with an extra dose of manipulation, and I judge the fuck out of the show for allowing this to go on and the experts for encouraging them. they keep talking about how couples can work through times of strife, and I keep thinking "That's true if they have a foundation!" Mia and Tristan literally do not know each other - that's the whole point. The way Jessica was covering the show's ass was so transparent, and the whole thing is gross.

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In the show Seinfeld, a main theme was Jerry's inability to commit because no matter how terrific the person he was dating...he would eventually find the deal breaker and end the relationship...

That is our buddy, Dave...he's got his get out of jail free card so he is going to enjoy the rest of the experiment.

He feels he has the upper hand.

I am counting on Amber to use her bag o' tricks and get Dave to fall in love with her.

In real life, Dave would have already bolted like the roadrunner...meep...meep

But he is contractually bound to this basic cable show for at least 6 weeks for Amber to cast her spell....

  • Love 8
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The more I watch, the more I am on Team Amber. She needs someone with a sense of humor. Dave is not that person.

Favorite quote from Child Bobby: "When whatever happens, happens, it happens."

Danielle's eyebrows stay on in the shower! Amazing!

Mia is a lying liar who lies. "It makes perfect sense why Mia's story changed over time," Dr. Jessica? Really?

My closed captioning is entertaining me with multiple "[ominous chord strikes]." Oh, wait, a "suspenseful" chord just struck during Tristan's meeting with Pastor Cal.

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