Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[merylinkid]

1 hour ago, legaleagle53 said:

Now you know why Shakespeare's histories dealt primarily with the Plantagenet and Tudor lines from the time of King John through Henry VIII.  It was a grand source of high drama.

Also he had to get his plays approved by the Lord Chancellor.   Picking on the Plantagents and making the Tudors look good was a great way to get the license.

[HoboClayton]

I have never seen a cop in real life eating a doughnut. 

[Ohwell]

They might not eat doughnuts but IRL they seem to be getting fatter and fatter.  I thought there were some physical fitness requirements, but apparently not in some cities.

[HoboClayton]

Oh. That is a HARD agree. 

[Quof]

Do Rite Donuts, and 2 of Chicago's finest.

Edited December 2, 2017 by Quof
ETA tried to make big ass photo smaller, but couldn't. sorry.

[HoboClayton]

I still see no doughnuts in that picture. Hell, that could be anywhere!! ;) ;) 

[Ohwell]

I will say that at least those two Chicago cops don't look fat and out of shape.  

[Madding crowd]

My husband is a cop and not out of shape. As far as the picture above: everyone has a meal break and cops eat in between calls so you will find them grabbing a bite. They have to eat out or eat in their patrol cars. My husband's unit does have fitness standards but once the cops are close to retirement they usually are doing less strenuous things and often gain weight.

[Quof]

Quote

I still see no doughnuts in that picture. Hell, that could be anywhere!! ;) ;)

Trust me, there were doughnuts.  Cuz I sat beside them eating one, then snapped the pic as I was leaving. 

Do-Rite is awesome, by the way.

[Ohwell]

20 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

My husband is a cop and not out of shape. As far as the picture above: everyone has a meal break and cops eat in between calls so you will find them grabbing a bite. They have to eat out or eat in their patrol cars. My husband's unit does have fitness standards but once the cops are close to retirement they usually are doing less strenuous things and often gain weight.

Good for your husband, but I've seen younger, 30ish looking cops who look like they're at least 50 lbs overweight and look like they couldn't run if they had to, so I suppose fitness standards may vary by jurisdiction.

[selkie]

The cops here often end up at Waffle House on their overnights because it's mutually beneficial- the cops get a table where they can spread out and do paperwork or use the restroom, and the restaurant likes it when people know that a cop just might be there at 3:00am when hilarity might otherwise ensue. 

[shapeshifter]

A lot of the 20th century cop shows included overweight cops, but in the 21st century, we might be able to say that Only On TV are all cops fit and well-coiffed. Bruce McGill on Rizolli & Isles would have been the exception that proved the rule. IRL, I can see how spending 7 or more hours each day sitting in a car might lead to obesity.

[Ohwell]

In the 21st century, there's also the cop on Mike & Molly who's overweight.  

I also can see how sitting in a car for long hours might lead to obesity, and I wonder if police depts. have fitness programs for them. 

[andromeda331]

I was on my way to work at five am a few years ago and there was a cop car speeding, racing all the way to....Dunkin Donuts. The lights weren't flashing so I don't think he was racing there for a robbery or anything. He parked his car and went inside the second the Closed Sign was turned. I guess he really had a craving?  

[shapeshifter]

51 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

I was on my way to work at five am a few years ago and there was a cop car speeding, racing all the way to....Dunkin Donuts. The lights weren't flashing so I don't think he was racing there for a robbery or anything. He parked his car and went inside the second the Closed Sign was turned. I guess he really had a craving?  

If it was a TV show, he'd be racing to get there to propose marriage to the donut shop employee who he'd been getting to know for the last couple of years. He would have been delayed by having to capture a thief who was holding up the store where he was picking up the engagement ring.

[Anela]

3 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

If it was a TV show, he'd be racing to get there to propose marriage to the donut shop employee who he'd been getting to know for the last couple of years. He would have been delayed by having to capture a thief who was holding up the store where he was picking up the engagement ring.

Or he'd be racing to the airport, to do the same thing, just as she's about to get onto a plane, and leave the State or the country. Other people would be involved in tracking her down, or getting her attention, and then they would clap as she says "yes". New life forgotten, now that she's got that ring. 

[andromeda331]

35 minutes ago, Anela said:

Or he'd be racing to the airport, to do the same thing, just as she's about to get onto a plane, and leave the State or the country. Other people would be involved in tracking her down, or getting her attention, and then they would clap as she says "yes". New life forgotten, now that she's got that ring. 

Don't forget if she gets on a plane and leaves he's too late. She's gone for good and there is nothing he can do about it. Its not like he can get a flight out too. 

[Haleth]

Or he thinks he missed her and watches the plane take off.  Cue the morose violins.  Sadly, he turns around... and she is standing there with a wistful expression.  

[biakbiak]

I apparently watch very different tv shows than many of you.

[Anela]

15 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Don't forget if she gets on a plane and leaves he's too late. She's gone for good and there is nothing he can do about it. Its not like he can get a flight out too. 

Can't even make a phone call. :) 

I've had a huge wallow day. The people here make me smile. 

11 hours ago, biakbiak said:

I apparently watch very different tv shows than many of you.

Yeah, sorry, I was more on movies there. But the OP talking about the whole ring thing, probably has happened in a TV show. Something quirky, or life-threatening, because it's TV. 

[shapeshifter]

...plus, my over-the-air TV access today (especially ION) has replaced crime show reruns with made-for-TV Christmas chick flick movies--which I am not watching, but do imagine are populated by couples like those described above.

[Shannon L.]

I am constantly amazed at what great grip strength people have on tv and in movies.  Fall off a cliff, edge of a building, out of a helicopter or whatever?  Use those super quick reflexes to grab the closest thing and not matter how fast you are falling, the strength in the muscles from your elbow to your wrist and in your hand will catch all 100+ pounds of you and keep you there until you are safely on the ground.  Does someone else catch you?  Well, good thing you've got their amazing grip strength to help (and as a bonus, you don't even have to worry if it's hot a sweaty!  No need to be concerned with slippery skin.).  I understand that adrenaline counts for a lot, but come on......

[shapeshifter]

Only on TV does someone excusing his or herself to go to the bathroom always indicate some significant secret is being kept, and it's not number one or number two.

[andromeda331]

Dreams and nightmares always mean something on TV and/or come true. 

[proserpina65]

On ‎11‎/‎14‎/‎2017 at 11:29 PM, janie jones said:

Or if they do, they go way overboard and have an entire closet full of jars of mayo or something.

Hence Sheldon and the 30 years' worth of tampons. ;-)

On ‎11‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 11:26 PM, legaleagle53 said:

We don't.  Passengers simply don't pay attention to things like that because we don't have to.

And I HATE driving.  That's why I never bothered to get a license and have never even owned a car.

I started paying attention when I was almost old enough for a learner's permit.  Didn't help me pass the test the first time, though.  Or the second, for that matter.

[proserpina65]

On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 0:58 PM, Constant Viewer said:

There is Shakespeare, but I want a series like the Tudors, but more accurate. Lion in Winter is one of my favorite movies by the way!

As far as airing dirty laundry on Christmas, it's probably because they don't talk to each other often enough so everything gets built up.

And better cast - seeing limp, wispy Jonathan Rhys-Meyers playing robust, dynamic Henry VIII ruined the Tudors for me.

Yeah, lack of time together plus alcohol seems to end up in family feuds on tv.  Sometimes in real life, I guess, but I'm fortunate not to have experienced that.

On ‎12‎/‎02‎/‎2017 at 7:21 PM, Madding crowd said:

My husband is a cop and not out of shape. As far as the picture above: everyone has a meal break and cops eat in between calls so you will find them grabbing a bite. They have to eat out or eat in their patrol cars. My husband's unit does have fitness standards but once the cops are close to retirement they usually are doing less strenuous things and often gain weight.

My local sheriff's department must not have much in the way of fitness standards.  But the deputies will tell you they don't need to chase people very often because they have guns.  Not that we have a lot of officer shootings in my county - I guess just the fear of it keeps most people from running too far.  Oh, and I have seem some of them eat donuts.  And cupcakes.

[ganesh]

37 minutes ago, proserpina65 said:

And better cast - seeing limp, wispy Jonathan Rhys-Meyers playing robust, dynamic Henry VIII ruined the Tudors for me.

That show was so great to mock. 

[andromeda331]

1 hour ago, proserpina65 said:

Yeah, lack of time together plus alcohol seems to end up in family feuds on tv.  Sometimes in real life, I guess, but I'm fortunate not to have experienced that.

Ah, now you have me remembering the happy old days of visiting my dad's relatives as kid! There was always small tiffs between an uncle and aunt before the really big blow out. They were brother and sister, put them in a room together they'd always end up fighting no matter how old they got (because they were exactly alike both thought they were always right, and would argue to the end with anyone who disagreed with them which is why they always clashed). The family trying to intervene to keep the blow out from happening or at least putting it off for another day until the inevitable and Grandpa, who's temperament the uncle and aunt inherited going off on a tangent at least three times a day. Grandma remarking after every tiff, blow and tangent how nice it was we could all be together. Ah, memories! 

[Haleth]

15 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

And better cast - seeing limp, wispy Jonathan Rhys-Meyers playing robust, dynamic Henry VIII ruined the Tudors for me.

I refused to watch because of this.  I'd even leave the room if my husband was watching.

[ganesh]

You missed the awesomely bad "I'm the KING OF ENGLAND" scene. Please tell me people remember that. 

There were actually some good moments with some of the supporting characters. Cromwell was great. And Thomas More. 

[andromeda331]

I was confused on how Henry VIII had an uncle who was murdered in the first episode. He had no living uncles. His father was an only child and his mother's brothers were the princes in the tower. Calling his sister Margaret instead of Mary kept confusing me. He had sister named Margaret who was married to the King of Scotland.  The real Henry ironically lectured Margaret on divorcing her second husband and marrying someone else a few years before he decided to do the same thing. 

[ganesh]

Oh, it was awful. They combined two of the sisters into one character because they thought 'viewers would be confused'. 

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, andromeda331 said:

He had sister named Margaret who was married to the King of Scotland.  The real Henry ironically lectured Margaret on divorcing her second husband and marrying someone else a few years before he decided to do the same thing. 

Well, obviously.  She didn't do it properly by creating her own church.  Plus,, she's female and Henry's male.  That was probably more it

[proserpina65]

2 hours ago, ganesh said:

You missed the awesomely bad "I'm the KING OF ENGLAND" scene. Please tell me people remember that. 

There were actually some good moments with some of the supporting characters. Cromwell was great. And Thomas More. 

I stuck with it until Thomas More was gone, because I adore Jeremy Northam, but that was all I could take.

[riley702]

8 hours ago, ganesh said:

Oh, it was awful. They combined two of the sisters into one character because they thought 'viewers would be confused'. 

Despite every other male character being named Thomas...

[Mulva]

Henry did have a throwaway line about his "idiot nephew", the King of Scotland without any further elaboration.

[Nordly Beaumont]

On ‎12‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 5:40 PM, Shannon L. said:

Fall off a cliff, edge of a building, out of a helicopter or whatever?  Use those super quick reflexes to grab the closest thing and not matter how fast you are falling, the strength in the muscles from your elbow to your wrist and in your hand will catch all 100+ pounds of you and keep you there until you are safely on the ground

Or another person will grab you and you'll lock hands. The person who caught you is just laying flat on the cliff yet never gets pulled over with you!

And the person who headbutts someone never hurts their own head. If there's enough force to knock the other person out, it has to hurt them at least a little bit!

Windows on tv never have screens.

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

Or another person will grab you and you'll lock hands. The person who caught you is just laying flat on the cliff yet never gets pulled over with you! . . .never hurts . . . .

And they never suffer from torn rotator cuff or other potentially long-term shoulder or wrist or back injury.

[Anela]

3 hours ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

Or another person will grab you and you'll lock hands. The person who caught you is just laying flat on the cliff yet never gets pulled over with you!

And the person who headbutts someone never hurts their own head. If there's enough force to knock the other person out, it has to hurt them at least a little bit!

Windows on tv never have screens.

We never had screens in windows, in England. That was new-to-me when we moved back here. :)

The heights things always bothers me. We caught the end of King Kong recently, and that actress just standing up and climbing around a tall tower in New York, that would have had me clinging to something and screaming in terror? No way. Also in a movie we watched last year. Nerve. 

[juno]

On TV need to see a Doctor/Psychiatrist?

Book an appointment: No, I can just show up.

Receptionist/Nurse: Walk by them, they don't matter. Or better yet force your way in. Assault is so overated.

Closed/locked door: So what? My sister, ex is pissing me off. I will walk in wherever I want to.

Patient being treated: See above. Who cares? My sister didn't invite me to her party.

Pay for the treatment: Sure. I will pay for it with that special TV money. The same money that pays for meals and cabs on TV

[Shannon L.]

Beware when moving into a neighborhood--having someone running through your backyard may become a regular thing.  If you live in an apartment, someone will burst through your apartment and out the window and you can be sure that when it happens, it will be a bad guy running from the cops.

Also, on tv, when you get something caught in the elevator, it will lift you up off the ground to the top of the door frame. 

Edited December 11, 2017 by Shannon L.

[Katy M]

Only on TV do teenagers drive (with their parents permission) before they are 16 and oftentimes already have their own car.  Plus, they come and go at will with parents never caring where they are even late at night.

[anna0852]

In all fairness my dad had me behind the wheel from about the age of 14 onwards. I didn't even get a permit until 3 months before my 16th birthday. My parents needed a third driver in the household and I was it.

[Katy M]

25 minutes ago, anna0852 said:

In all fairness my dad had me behind the wheel from about the age of 14 onwards. I didn't even get a permit until 3 months before my 16th birthday. My parents needed a third driver in the household and I was it.

Well, your family is really lucky you never got pulled over or got into an accident (which can happen to the best of drivers).  I actually do know a couple of kids whose parents let them practice driving on the road when they were 13 or so, but it always struck me as a really dumb decision.  If anything happened, they wouldn't be covered by insurance and I would imagine the fines would be astronomical on top of that.  In some areas, CPS might even take your kid.  Doesn't seem worth the risk to me. 

[anna0852]

This was about 20 years ago. 

[DittyDotDot]

6 hours ago, Katy M said:

Only on TV do teenagers drive (with their parents permission) before they are 16 and oftentimes already have their own car.  Plus, they come and go at will with parents never caring where they are even late at night.

Oh, it's pretty common in more rural areas. The farm kids I grew up with, including myself, were mostly driving by the time they were 10. I never drove on the highway before I had a permit--it was a rule and my mother enforces her rules to the letter--but I drove a lot of back roads and stuff. A lot of my friends had cars before they had a permit or license, though.

Edited December 11, 2017 by DittyDotDot

[ganesh]

Did your rule loving stickler mother make sure you shut off the car radio?

[Bastet]

Quote

Only on TV do teenagers drive (with their parents permission) before they are 16 and oftentimes already have their own car.  Plus, they come and go at will with parents never caring where they are even late at night.

The only kids I knew who drove without a license (other than in the middle of nowhere) were doing it without their parents' permission, but plenty of kids had cars before they got their licenses.

(I learned the basics of driving at 14, while we were in farm country visiting family.  I didn't drive at home [city/suburbs] until I had my permit the next year, and then only with my parents in the car or during driver's training -- I was chomping at the bit to get my license [I was at the DMV the morning of my 16th birthday], and wouldn't risk getting my permit yanked and having to wait.)

And 15/16-year-old kids being able to come and go as they pleased without telling their parents, never mind asking, on weeknights was definitely more common among TV teens than the ones I knew.

[DittyDotDot]

2 hours ago, ganesh said:

Did your rule loving stickler mother make sure you shut off the car radio?

Nah. She preferred us all to rock out! ;)

[SVNBob]

17 hours ago, Katy M said:

Only on TV do teenagers drive (with their parents permission) before they are 16 and oftentimes already have their own car.  Plus, they come and go at will with parents never caring where they are even late at night.

There is such a thing as a hardship license for teenagers.  I had at least one friend in high school that got hers.