Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[FormerMod-a1]

4 hours ago, DittyDotDot said:

Only if they did it because someone they loved died and now they must got out and kill some people in order to make that death have meaning.

And only if they did it in slow mo while very dramatic music played in the background. 

 

4 hours ago, orza said:

What you describe is still pretty common in real life.

I don't know anyone that has shaved their head and gone on a killing spree because someone they loved died, or broke up with them.

[DittyDotDot]

42 minutes ago, aquarian1 said:

 

I don't know anyone that has shaved their head and gone on a killing spree because someone they loved died, or broke up with them.

Whew! That's very reassuring. Sometimes my reality isn't all that reliable, though. ;)

[backformore]

16 hours ago, aquarian1 said:

 

I don't know anyone that has shaved their head and gone on a killing spree because someone they loved died, or broke up with them.

Yeah, I've known women who react to a break up by getting a different hair style or color, but nothing as dramatic as shaving all their hair.   

As far as killing sprees, if anyone in my social circle has done that, they haven't confessed to me yet. 

[orza]

The original quote was this:

22 hours ago, DittyDotDot said:

When on loses someone so very important to them, they must cut off all their hair to show they've gone to the dark side with grief. 

Not about shaved heads and deranged killing sprees. Going to the dark side can mean many things, My point was what was described in this quote is not so uncommon. It has been part of various religious grief rituals throughout history, some of which did involve retribution and human sacrifice. There are plenty of documented cases of people who suffer breakdowns and do something shocking and extreme, like suicide or burning down their house, because they are unable to cope with the death of a loved one.

This thread is weird. People keep citing things that do happen in real life and therefore can't be "only on TV" since there is historical precedent for it. Where do people think TV writers get their ideas from?

Edited July 18, 2016 by orza

[DittyDotDot]

4 minutes ago, orza said:

The original quote was this:

Not about shaved heads and deranged killing sprees. Going to the dark side can mean many things, My point was what was described in this quote is not so uncommon. It has been part of various religious grief rituals throughout history, some of which did involve retribution and human sacrifice. There are plenty of documented cases of people who suffer breakdowns and do something shocking and extreme, like suicide or burning down their house, because they are unable to cope with the death of a loved one.

This thread is weird. People keep citing things that do happen in real life and therefore can't be "only on TV" since there is historical precedent for it. Where do people think TV writers get their ideas from?

Yes, as I said, I was not clear and that's why I clarified I referring to characters shaving their head because they are now a different person capable of doing horrific things due to some loss. 

Of course most things on TV come from somewhere. It's just those things that are pushed to the extremes on TV and shown over and over and over again I snark about in this thread. I'm not suggesting no one has never shaved their head due to a loss of someone, it just amuses me how TV seems to think the only way to show someone had mental break and are now a new and dark person, due to the loss of someone they love, is to have them shave off all their hair.

[orza]

It's a trope. Writers use tropes because they work. There's nothing wrong with that.

[DittyDotDot]

I didn't say there was anything wrong with that, I said I found it funny so I came here to share my amusement with other people. I wasn't aware there was anything wrong with that either.

Edited July 18, 2016 by DittyDotDot

[ABay]

It's just those things that are pushed to the extremes on TV and shown over and over and over again I snark about in this thread. I'm not suggesting no one has never shaved their head due to a loss of someone,

You have it right, @DittyDotDot. That is the purpose of the thread: to snark on things that are ridiculously common on TV compared to real-life, like the baguette and leafy greens sticking out of a paper shopping bag. The "only" part of "Only on TV" is not meant literally.

[shapeshifter]

32 minutes ago, ABay said:

You have it right, @DittyDotDot. That is the purpose of the thread: to snark on things that are ridiculously common on TV compared to real-life, like the baguette and leafy greens sticking out of a paper shopping bag. The "only" part of "Only on TV" is not meant literally.

Speaking of the grocery bag On TV, I noticed yesterday that in the opening credits for Murder She Wrote, Jessica has not one, but two celery tops keeping her baguette company in the brown bag. This might literally happen Only On TV. I mean, she lives alone, and that's a lot of celery.

[DittyDotDot]

Heh, maybe she's cooking a feast for all the people she's about to kill?! ;)

Edited July 18, 2016 by DittyDotDot

[ganesh]

Dot left the car radio on and I totally shaved my head and went all emo. 

[meep.meep]

39 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Speaking of the grocery bag On TV, I noticed yesterday that in the opening credits for Murder She Wrote, Jessica has not one, but two celery tops keeping her baguette company in the brown bag. This might literally happen Only On TV. I mean, she lives alone, and that's a lot of celery.

Maybe that was her crime fighting secret.  Or she had a rabbit.

[ABay]

Guys, come on, she's obviously planning to use her murder victims in meat pies. 

[atomationage]

The pies:

[MaryPatShelby]

Only on TV do people get home from somewhere where something major happened, and never talk about that major thing in the car on the way home. We know this because they all walk into the house and someone says "Can you believe that major thing that happened?"

[caci]

Only on TV does someone chase a friend or loved one to the front door of a house calling their name, but then just stop when they reach the door.  They don't follow outside to the car. It's like there's an invisible barrier.  Admittedly, I think this is mostly a soap thing.

[kiddo82]

Only on TV do every female's nails perpetually look freshly and professionally painted.  No chips.  No smudges.  No week old manicure that you've just been too lazy to strip.  Always immaculate.

[janie jones]

Also, women ALWAYS use those toe separators and then walk around on their heels when they paint their toenails. 

[janie jones]

Also, teens who have their love interests/best friends sneaking in their bedroom windows never have a dog who barks at the slightest noise outside.

[Rick Kitchen]

On Days of Our Lives this week, our heroine was blown up and has internal injuries, but her makeup is perfect.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

That's so she can jump right out of bed and go dancing the second they know she's going to live. Or at least lie there and look pale and tragic when her Twu Wuv shows up.

[Rick Kitchen]

Well, her Twu Wuv is dead, but her Twu Right Now is trapped in the basement with her.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I have to write Twu Right Now down for later use, because that is awesome.

[shang yiet]

Quote

Only on TV does someone chase a friend or loved one to the front door of a house calling their name, but then just stop when they reach the door.  They don't follow outside to the car. It's like there's an invisible barrier.  Admittedly, I think this is mostly a soap thing.

And no matter what weird thing is happening outside, they just stare out the window and never step out to investigate.

Quote

Only on TV do people get home from somewhere where something major happened, and never talk about that major thing in the car on the way home. We know this because they all walk into the house and someone says "Can you believe that major thing that happened?"

People will stay silent until they reach their destination and then after getting out of the car, one of them will say 'Tell me again what we are  doing here/Why we are doing this/I think this is crazy, we should go back'.

[ChromaKelly]

On 7/18/2016 at 10:59 AM, DittyDotDot said:

Yes, as I said, I was not clear and that's why I clarified I referring to characters shaving their head because they are now a different person capable of doing horrific things due to some loss. 

Of course most things on TV come from somewhere. It's just those things that are pushed to the extremes on TV and shown over and over and over again I snark about in this thread. I'm not suggesting no one has never shaved their head due to a loss of someone, it just amuses me how TV seems to think the only way to show someone had mental break and are now a new and dark person, due to the loss of someone they love, is to have them shave off all their hair.

Don't forget having a shower-cry to show emotional breakdown.

[ABay]

And you must--must, I say--slide down the shower wall as you break into uncontrolled weeping.

[meep.meep]

Slowly slide!

It's no good if you just sit down.

[zxy556575]

15 hours ago, janie jones said:

Also, teens who have their love interests/best friends sneaking in their bedroom windows never have a dog who barks at the slightest noise outside.

Gawd! You'd think ONE TEENAGER in the world would live in a single-story house. Instead the suitors are forced to throw pebbles at the window and climb an unbelievably sturdy drainpipe or trellis. The roof always has eaves for convenient exterior perching.

19 minutes ago, ChromaKelly said:

Don't forget having a shower-cry to show emotional breakdown.

As an added bonus, nudity! Extra credit if the actor slides down the wall of the shower to sit in a heap on the floor.

[ganesh]

There must be the final shower shot where they have their knees tucked up to their chest. 

[shapeshifter]

Only On TV do modern homes not have screens on the windows. There are some interesting posts on this topic on this IMBd thread http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4877736/board/flat/259270268 on the BrainDead board—so mostly in reference to ant-like bugs streaming in through windows, but also mentioned is how Only On TV (and movies etc.) do people get thrown through windows without a screen cluttering up the scene—which I had never before considered. 

[Shannon L.]

Only on tv do all feminist wear manly looking suits and can't be bothered with things like doing hair and/or makeup and have no interest in any kind of romance.
 

Only on tv will someone who is daydreaming start acting out sections of their daydream only to snap out of it and find everyone staring at them like they are crazy. 

Edited July 26, 2016 by Shannon L.

[shapeshifter]

During this record breaking heat, I think of @ganesh everytime I turn off the airconditioning in my car before turning off the car--which I don't think I've ever seen done on TV.

Edited July 26, 2016 by shapeshifter
typo

[ganesh]

AS WELL YOU SHOULD. #ResponsibleCarOwnership 

2 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Only on tv will someone who is daydreaming start acting out their sections of their daydream only to snap out of it and find everyone staring at them like they are crazy. 

Last time that happened to me I was in the middle of the Golden Gate bridge sans pants. And I wasn't in any tv show. 

[proserpina65]

On ‎07‎/‎17‎/‎2016 at 0:52 PM, orza said:

What you describe is still pretty common in real life.

Not by anyone I've ever known.  (Except for a couple of guys who joined the military, and even then, it wasn't shaved.)  So, for me at least, it counts as "only on TV" or "only in the movies".

Edited July 26, 2016 by proserpina65

[shapeshifter]

17 hours ago, ganesh said:

AS WELL YOU SHOULD. #ResponsibleCarOwnership 

Last time that happened to me I was in the middle of the Golden Gate bridge sans pants. And I wasn't in any tv show. 

Was the car radio on or off? j/k

[Haleth]

I heard a report on the news yesterday that said if your car has keyless entry and you leave your fob within a certain distance from the car (I believe they said 15') the car might sense the fob and turn on some systems, such as AC.  This could cause the battery to drain.  So even responsible car owners who turn everything off might wake up to a dead battery.  

[ganesh]

Well I'm just a regular guy. I don't have time for no fancy fabfobs whatever. 

[Shannon L.]

Here's another one:  Only on tv will someone who is being harassed/bullied, try to push their way through/past the offending person/crowd instead of turning around and walking away or trying to go around them.  That always amazes me.  I think "Really?  They're just going to step aside and let you by?"

[shang yiet]

Non-feminists housewives will dress like they're back in the 1950s. It's like you can't be a feminist and be interested in retro fashion at the same time.

If you find old equipment like cassette tapes/cassette recorders/VCR tapes in the attic or basement, don't worry, they will work just fine even if no one has used them for decades. And you will press play at the exact spot to get all the information you need, no need to fast forward or rewind.

[ChromaKelly]

Being a suburban mom means you are some kind of pod person. Only awful, Stepford wife women do things like become president of the PTA or organize fundraisers.

[ganesh]

The President of the PTA secretly snorts coke or is a high class escort in the big city!
 

[topanga]

Or the president of the PTA is a mean SAHM with no life who makes life miserable for the working mom who has to bring store-bought cookies to a school function. 

[zxy556575]

Maybe it's because I've mostly seen them in sitcoms, but school guidance counselors and vice principals always seem to be ineffectual, humorless prigs.

[Haleth]

Except Tami Taylor, who could save the world single handedly and look fabulous while doing it.

[Raja]

On 6/16/2016 at 0:37 PM, Chaos Theory said:

6 hours ago, lordonia said:

Maybe it's because I've mostly seen them in sitcoms, but school guidance counselors and vice principals always seem to be ineffectual, humorless prigs.

It was diffent back in the day for counselors, they were right their with the most loved teachers. The VP was the designated hitman just like the political VP.

[ganesh]

A guy will wander around with a bottle of whatever and a glass and then monologue at at the character that randomly shows up while pouring and drinking every 3 seconds. Just fill the glass up! 

[DearEvette]

On 7/18/2016 at 11:29 AM, ABay said:

You have it right, @DittyDotDot. That is the purpose of the thread: to snark on things that are ridiculously common on TV compared to real-life, like the baguette and leafy greens sticking out of a paper shopping bag. The "only" part of "Only on TV" is not meant literally.

 

Ha!  I love that this is still brought up some eleventy-twelve pages and a whole year later!

Edited July 31, 2016 by DearEvette

[zxy556575]

15 hours ago, Raja said:

It was different back in the day for counselors, they were right their with the most loved teachers. The VP was the designated hitman just like the political VP.

It doesn't seem common now, but I went to a high school of about 2000 and our Dean of Girls and Dean of Boys were the enforcers. Like, out in the hallways stopping kids for dress code violations and the like. They evoked Dolores Umbridge levels of horror and fear!

Edited August 1, 2016 by lordonia

[scriggle]

4 hours ago, Raja said:

It was diffent back in the day for counselors, they were right their with the most loved teachers. The VP was the designated hitman just like the political VP.

In my high school, the VP was nicknamed "the warden."

Edited July 31, 2016 by scriggle
clarification

[Moose135]

12 hours ago, lordonia said:

It doesn't seem common now, but I went to a high school of about 2000 and our Dean of Girls and Dean of Boys were the enforcers. Like, out in the hallways stopping kids for dress code violations and the like. They evoked Dolores Umbridge levels of horror and fear!

I went to a Catholic high school, and we had a guy who's title was actually Dean of Discipline.