Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Kromm]

That's why I posted it. It also happened on Babylon too, but they played the scene for dark humor.

I was just noting from my end that it was the same, not questioning your contribution.

[shapeshifter]

In every hostage situation on tv, pizza will be delivered.

Only on TV (for example, on the episode of The Mentalist that just aired), is a large complex operation planned to get a criminal unaware, but some idiot local cop runs his siren--tipping off the criminals.

Did both of you hear my eyes rolling during the episode at those two points?

[Actionmage]

I've been getting a paycheck since I was 12. No one on tv had a job until they were 24.

 

Doogie Howswer, M. D.! *g*

 

Only on TV.... Can a grown man send not one, not two, but three kindergarten-aged girls to fight crime and monsters and the Devil hirself and no one from Townsville calls Child Protective Services? *g*

Edited February 10, 2015 by Actionmage

[Raja]

More than Doogie. Just about every town has a hip teens club, which sometimes is able to book bands who just have released albums on major labels. And one kid of the gang is blessed with working there. Some even own the joint, but then a Superman have a crush on them

[Rick Kitchen]

If there is a teenager on the show, they or their friends (whom we have never seen before) are close friends to a major movie or music star.

[andromeda331]

Only on tv does your husband or wife come home looking nothing like the person they've been married and they

don't question it. Same with their parents either Mom or Dad, or sometimes every time they show up its a brand

new person. Also, you never notice that you yourself change like on One Life To Live Blair went from being

half Japanese to an blond with a Southern accent. Or Jesse who suddenly became Greek. Also, some times

you have a sister or brother and sometimes you don't.

Edited February 11, 2015 by andromeda331

[merylinkid]

 

 

Also, you never notice that you yourself change like on One Life To Live Blair went from being

half Japanese to an blond with a Southern accent.

 

One Life to Live had fun with this at one of Asa's funerals.   All the wives were thinking back on being married to him, not too fondly either.   Blair looks into her compact mirror to remember and sees the previous Blair (the half Japanese one) staring back at her.   She looked a bit startled.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

One Life to Live had fun with this at one of Asa's funerals.   All the wives were thinking back on being married to him, not too fondly either.   Blair looks into her compact mirror to remember and sees the previous Blair (the half Japanese one) staring back at her.   She looked a bit startled.

 

When Santa Barbara was still on the air, the role of Mason Capwell was recast when Lane Davies left the show. He was replaced by Gordon Thompson, who was also on Dynasty. Lane-as-Mason either sat down or fell down, his face going out of frame, and when he came back into view, he was Gordon Thompson. :-P

[legaleagle53]

I think they do sometimes, or style of dress. I don't wear glasses myself, but I've had two people who do tell me that they've had people not recognize them when they saw them without glasses (my sister actually had someone introduce himself).  I don't know that it has happened to them with the same people on a regular basis though.  Maybe Metropolis is full of people who need glasses themselves.  But still, they should recognize his voice.

 

Not if he alters his natural speaking voice as Clark (canon is that Superman's natural speaking voice is that of a full baritone; for Clark, he adopts a higher speaking voice that is almost a falsetto).

[Kel Varnsen]

How blind do you have to be to not see that Clark Kent is clearly Superman?  Do people really only look at glasses and hair?

That never really bothered me because there were only a small handful of people who knew Clark Kent who had actually seen superman up close (and most of those people already knew his secret identity or possible refused to think about it because they didn't want to know). I mean to most people Clark Kent is just some guy they might see on the street. And for most of those people, at best they have maybe seen Superman in a news picture or maybe from far away as he was saving something. 

 

Plus I was a kid in the 80's and supermans kind of weak secret identity has nothing on the terrible secret identity of Prince Adam/He-Man. I mean Prince Adam ridiculously ripped/giant blonde guy, while He-man is also a ridiculously ripped/giant blonde guy, but with a tan. And most of the people who interact with He-man on a regular basis actually know Prince Adam.

[DittyDotDot]

Not if he alters his natural speaking voice as Clark (canon is that Superman's natural speaking voice is that of a full baritone; for Clark, he adopts a higher speaking voice that is almost a falsetto).

 

And gels and styles his hair differently! ;)

[Bruinsfan]

Plus I was a kid in the 80's and supermans kind of weak secret identity has nothing on the terrible secret identity of Prince Adam/He-Man. I mean Prince Adam ridiculously ripped/giant blonde guy, while He-man is also a ridiculously ripped/giant blonde guy, but with a tan. And most of the people who interact with He-man on a regular basis actually know Prince Adam.

I feel the effectiveness of He-Man's secret identity is dependent on just how many gym rats with blond pageboy 'dos and green-and-orange-striped pet tigers there are running around in Eternia.

Edited February 11, 2015 by Bruinsfan

[Rick Kitchen]

OLTL had James DePaiva as Max Holden.  When James was replaced in the character by Nicholas Walker, they did a big storyline about how Max had had plastic surgery, and that was why his face looked different.  But then DePaiva came back to the role and they made no explanation as to why he looked like he had before the surgery.

 

Not to mention the "Two Todds".

[ToxicUnicorn]

Good memories, folks.  I remember either seeing or hearing about most of these soap switches.  I'll add the Vicky/Nicky switch on Another World, and I vaguely remember taking awhile to get used to the new Nikolas Cassadine, Emily and AJ Quartermaine, not to mention Lucky and Lulu Spencer on GH.  (Especially when Lulu went from being an essentially mute little girl with brown hair to a suddenly developed teen with long blond curls and a loud personality.

 

Those were the days when I never expected to see anything resembling reality on tv!

[Kromm]

Only on TV (for example, this last episode of the totally ridiculous "Stalker") do the cops place a single officer outside a target's house, to be quickly taken out.  Yes, there are huge shortages of police in the real world, but the point is the basic tactical error of such a scenario.

 

Alternate: When there IS a pair of officers, there's always a scenario where they're distracted by a noise or something, one of the goes off the investigate, and they get successfully taken out one at a time.

[topanga]

Only on TV comedies do sibling arguments consist of quippy one-liners that don't cause the other sibling to cry because they're so mean or hurtful. And one sibling never walks by his brother and "accidentally" hits him with a whiffle ball bat, leading to chases around the house, more exchanged blows, and lots of yelling from parents. Because that wouldn't be funny at all. Trust me, it wouldn't.

[lampshades]

Only on tv do medical doctors not know how to use birth control. I didn't watch E.R for its entire run but I can't think of a single character that had a  planned pregnancy.

Edited February 22, 2015 by lampshades

[ABay]

Only on TV is the first sign of murder an unlocked door. TV killers never close the door on their way out unless they're setting up a locked room mystery.

[shapeshifter]

Only on TV is the first sign of murder an unlocked door. TV killers never close the door on their way out unless they're setting up a locked room mystery.

I think it's consistently even more specific than that: The door of the room where there has been a murder will be open no more than two inches. This means the killer leaves and almost (but not quite) closes the door behind him/her.

[Quof]

Only on tv do people never make their beds.  "His bed's not been slept in."  Is it possible the bed was slept in, then the occupant made it after getting out?

[DittyDotDot]

Only on tv do people never make their beds.  "His bed's not been slept in."  Is it possible the bed was slept in, then the occupant made it after getting out?

 

This always makes me laugh since I rarely make my bed, I'm just going to mess it all up again in a few hours so it feels kinda pointless. I hope I never go missing and no one notices because my bed appears to have been slept in. ;)

[Shannon L.]

 

Only on TV comedies do sibling arguments consist of quippy one-liners that don't cause the other sibling to cry because they're so mean or hurtful. And one sibling never walks by his brother and "accidentally" hits him with a whiffle ball bat, leading to chases around the house, more exchanged blows, and lots of yelling from parents. Because that wouldn't be funny at all. Trust me, it wouldn't.

It's been a while since I've seen it, but didn't Malcolm in the Middle have a lot of chasing and physical fighting.  I know their mother yelled a lot.  While that show definitely leaned to the opposite extreme than most shows, there was a touch of realism in it that I appreciated. 

[Quof]

My house was broken into while I was on vacation.  My friend who was checking the house discovered it and called the police.   She, of course, couldn't tell them what was missing but, as they went through the house, saw that the drawers in all the bureaus were open.  The officer said "Judging from the way the rest of the house looks, I'm assuming your friend isn't the type to leave the drawers open?"  Um, no.

[Ceindreadh]

Only on tv do medical doctors not know how to use birth control. I didn't watch E.R for its entire run but I can't think of a single character that had a  planned pregnancy.

 

I'm pretty sure that Kerry and her girlfriend had a planned pregnancy  ;-)

[lampshades]

I'm pretty sure that Kerry and her girlfriend had a planned pregnancy  ;-)

 

That shows how long I actually watched the show - I had no idea Kerry was even a lesbian.

[ZuluQueenOfDwarves]

On Gilmore Girls, there was an episode where Richard called Lorelai panicking because Emily hadn't slept in her bed and he was worried about where she'd spent the night, only for her to turn up and angrily yell she'd spent the night at home. "I made the bed, I know how to make a bed!"

Only on TV do women wear all black dresses complete with veiled hats to a funeral. No woman has ever worn slacks or left her head uncovered.

[Shannon L.]

 

No woman has ever worn slacks or left her head uncovered.

Or another dark color besides black.

[shapeshifter]

Only on TV cop shows does the killer reveal him/herself by saying, "You can't prove it!"

[CoderLady]

And if it's an amateur sleuth show, that statement triggers a setup.

 

The good guys have a conversation with the killer or near enough for him / her to eavesdrop on in which they talk about a key piece of evidence that will prove the killer's guilt but won't be retrieved until the next day. Then they all hide at the location and when the killer inevitably comes looking for the evidence they pop out and triumphantly do the "Gotcha!" thing.

 

To my mind it's still not proof and would fall apart at the hands of a good defense attorney, but since it usually happens within the last 3 minutes of the show that's never been tested.

[yourpointis]

Only on tv will a person who is leaving their home; either by force or free will, will say "I'll send for my things". Has anyone actually said this in real life?

[kassygreene]

Only on tv will a person who is leaving their home; either by force or free will, will say "I'll send for my things". Has anyone actually said this in real life?

I have a feeling most people who try this in real life get told to send the money to pay for that too.  And probably won't....  In my family as the three of us moved out on our own, we were given opportunities to pack our stuff in our cars on each visit.  After I think about a decade, it would clearly no longer be our stuff, and disposed of appropriately.  In fact, when I moved out, it was after six years of college and grad school, and my stuff was already sorted out and packed up.  As my first job had paid relocation (and OMG that was a long time ago), I got the smallest available long-distance rental truck, and filled less then a quarter of it.  If I had suggested that I would send for my things, I would have received a meticulously itemized list of the cost of each thing vs. the cost of packing and shipping it.

 

But "I'll send for my things" does make a nicely dramatic exit line, doesn't it?

[yourpointis]

kassygreene I would love to be able to just once say that line. Of course, that is only if I'm leaving on my own free will. I returned home for a visit after moving out of my parents home only to find that my dad went on a spring cleaning spree. My room had been redecorated and half of my stuff was gone. Only items I truly missed was my comic book collection (not collectors items but sentimental loss). I had only been gone from home about six months. He probably got started the minute I took that last step out of the house (last child out of the house). : ) 

[kassygreene]

My mother yard sales stuff, which we all knew...  And now that I think of it, the only thing they ever shipped to any of us was my grandmother's piano to my sister (my other grandmother's piano came to me on a truck).  My sister paid for all of that - she really wanted that piano, and she's a doctor, so she could afford it.  AND it was a spinet, so a little easier to ship.  She still has it.

[Shannon L.]

It's possible that this one's been mentioned, but only on tv do people accept a drink when visiting someone, then leave without ever touching it. 

 

Only on tv can you walk into a crowded room with a communication device in your ear and walk around without people noticing that you are talking to someone who isn't there.

[Raja]

It's possible that this one's been mentioned, but only on tv do people accept a drink when visiting someone, then leave without ever touching it.

Only on tv can you walk into a crowded room with a communication device in your ear and walk around without people noticing that you are talking to someone who isn't there.

only on TV would you use a wire in your ear and talk to your wrist when half of the population has a Bluetooth attached to their ear.

[shapeshifter]

only on TV would you use a wire in your ear and talk to your wrist when half of the population has a Bluetooth attached to their ear.

Talking to one's wrist will soon become commonplace if Apple has its way: https://www.apple.com/watch/

I watch too much TV, and, in particular, too many who-dunnit shows, because the iWatch just makes me think of all the ways it will figure into crimes shows, including the obvious gruesome manner in which some will be removed from wrists. I think I'd rather risk having my pocket picked, thank you.

But the Dick Tracy nostalgia is kind of nice.

Anyway, Only On TV is it only the rich who get their identities stolen, and who have enough resources to get by until the perp is caught (and On TV, identity thieves are swiftly apprehended). If it is a working stiff whose identity is stolen, that person is barely mentioned as "another victim" of the thief.

Edited March 11, 2015 by shapeshifter

[ChromaKelly]

It's possible that this one's been mentioned, but only on tv do people accept a drink when visiting someone, then leave without ever touching it. 

That's because accepting the offer of a drink is just a ruse to get the person to turn their backs or go in another room while you rummage through their stuff, lift fingerprints, steal a napkin out of the trash for DNA, plant a bug, take pictures of documents, etc.

[ganesh]

People at bars never finish their drinks either. They drink some, then talk, then leave. So you can zoom in on the unfinished drink.

[DeLurker]

Sadly, I've never found myself so upset that I toss a perfectly good drink in a lover's face.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

People at bars never finish their drinks either. They drink some, then talk, then leave. So you can zoom in on the unfinished drink.

 

Not only do they not finish their drinks, they'll order an entire meal, then only have a few bites before they have to rush off and solve a murder/save a loved one who has been kidnapped/stop a plan for world destruction. Sometimes all three at once.

[DeLurker]

But they seldom leave money to pay for that meal. In fact, about the only time someone is seen paying for a meal is if they've just had a major spat with the dinner companion. They stand up, throw money on the table and say "I'm leaving!".

[Shannon L.]

They stand up, throw money on the table and say "I'm leaving!".

I always wondered if, since they haven't looked at the bill, they leave way too much (all's the better for the server!) or not enough.

Have we covered the fact that only on tv can someone without a business degree can walk right into managing/owning/being the CEO of a business/corporation?

Edited March 12, 2015 by Shannon L.

[supposebly]

 

They stand up, throw money on the table and say "I'm leaving!".

 

Before I moved to North America, I always thought that's how it works in the US and Canada and marveled at how trusting people are to just throw their money on a table and leave. And wondered what happens if they don't leave enough.

[shapeshifter]

Before I moved to North America, I always thought that's how it works in the US and Canada and marveled at how trusting people are to just throw their money on a table and leave. And wondered what happens if they don't leave enough.

This must be the 21st century equivalent of immigrants coming to the U.S. in the early 20th century because of leaflets claiming that the streets were "paved with gold."

I really do wish we had an open, trusting society where people can just pay what they think something is worth. I wonder if there is any way that could work. Oh well. Gold isn't very useful paving material either.

Welcome to America anyway, supposebly.

ETA: Or welcome to Canada!

Edited March 12, 2015 by shapeshifter

[Tunia]

I really do wish we had an open, trusting society where people can just pay what they think something is worth. I wonder if there is any way that could work.

 

 

Panera Bread seems to think it can work!

 

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/panera-bread-expands-pay-what-you-want-experiment/

[supposebly]

 

ETA: Or welcome to Canada!

Thanks! It has been 17 years. ;) I figured out fairly quickly that real life in Canada and the US is not like TV and never tried just throwing money on a table and leave.

[Kel Varnsen]

Thanks! It has been 17 years. ;) I figured out fairly quickly that real life in Canada and the US is not like TV and never tried just throwing money on a table and leave.

I have never actually see anyone peel off a few bills from a wad of money and throw it on the table, but back in the day before cards when paying with cash was more common, getting the bill and leaving the money on the table (if you didn't need change), either in the little folder thing, or under a glass was a lot more common I think.

[ganesh]

People still do that.

 

On tv if someone has a mug, glass, plate, whatever, and they walk into a room where something shocking happen, they immediately let go of it and it shatters all over the place. 

[DeLurker]

But you only break a glass, plate, vase...from shock or by playing rough where you are not supposed to.  Nobody ever accidentally drops something.

[Bruinsfan]

There's always the klutzy pile-up of someone stacking way too many dishes and having them topple.