Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Danielg342]

On 12/10/2023 at 6:22 PM, Raja said:

I don't remember the private jet being a thing before Criminal Minds and then the jet became a mobile command post as the team did the preliminary work on the flight instead of getting sleep time in. Two scenes for the time cost of one. Showing the boring flight time instead of picking up the story at the scene is just there to show us how special and needed by the local investigators the teams on our shows really are.

I don't ever really recall a time on Criminal Minds where the show justified the use of a private jet. I can only recall two instances where it actually was useful- in Season 8, when they were hunting an active killer, since it was faster to use the plane (and even then, the killer got away) and in Season 15, in the original series finale, when the team literally blew up the plane with the serial killer they were chasing inside of it.

That last moment the team justified the move because one of their teammates, David Rossi, said he could afford to buy the team a new one (and this serial killer was "personal" for Rossi, so he justified the expense from an emotional standpoint). Which I guess makes sense...but I'm still not sure the FBI would sanction the destruction of something that surely cost them tens of millions of dollars to acquire (if not a lot more) even if Rossi promised to pay them back (never mind his own ability to afford such a purchase).

Meanwhile, The Mentalist poked fun at CM for having a jet. When Patrick Jane joined the FBI, the first time he flew to a crime scene, they had to fly via conventional commercial airline. He remarked with surprise, saying "I thought we would have a jet."

[Chaos Theory]

I kinda hand wave Criminal Minds as the justification is “in world” that they do travel from place to place on a regular basis and it is time sensitive so having to find 5 (or whatever) seats on a commercial plane last minute to get them to their location right now instead of next available flight is 4 hours from now would be something the BAU could justify.

The other justification is more logistical to the show in general.  Having a set that looks like the inside of a small private plane is easy to shoot and it’s good bookends for most episodes.  Places the characters can talk and have those meaningful discussions which would be difficult on a commercial plane with some kid banging on the back of your seat or some idiot getting drunk next to you on expensive plane booze.   

Edited December 13, 2023 by Chaos Theory

[Kel Varnsen]

20 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

And there are some government facilities that are nowhere near a commercial airport.  

Now that I think about it I have actually flown on private planes/helicopters as part of my job. But it was to get tona super remote location where the only other option would have been riding on the cargo ship that takes weeks to get there. But even those were cramped and not very comfy. Not some kind of plush Logan Roy style plane where you can get up and walk around with recliner seats and wifi. 

I also feel like I have seen at least one spy show (Alias or maybe Homeland) where spies are using private jets. Which maybe seems even dumber. Since a great way to draw attention to yourself is when one beautiful white woman gets off a private jet at an airport by herself in some country where she would probably look out of place.

[Raja]

1 minute ago, Kel Varnsen said:

I also feel like I have seen at least one spy show (Alias or maybe Homeland) where spies are using private jets. Which maybe seems even dumber. Since a great way to draw attention to yourself is when one beautiful white woman gets off a private jet at an airport by herself in some country where she would probably look out of place

If you're James Bond drawing attention to yourself is strategy.

[Browncoat]

They used a private plane in Miss Congeniality.

[Raja]

53 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

They used a private plane in Miss Congeniality.

Was she already undercover?

[Browncoat]

3 hours ago, Raja said:

Was she already undercover?

Not yet.  They took the private jet to the airport/hangar where she got her makeover.  ("Eyebrows!  There should be two!")

[andromeda331]

Criminal Minds had a private plane a lot of their episodes ended on the plane. It makes sense for filming but in real life I'd probably be annoyed. I'm cynical went it comes to government spending given how often it's misused.

NCIS at least in the beginning mentioned booking flights but then at some point mostly used military planes. Except for one to Gitmo they got to use the director's plane. 

[andromeda331]

I was watching an old Homicide Hunter it's a show where real life detective Joe Kenda talks about his cases. This one his friend and fellow cop is shot doing a stop. Joe's driving to the scene when he gets a call from his boss telling him to go to the hospital. Because it's real life Joe does just that even though he still wants to go to the scene. Now, if this was TV show he'd ignore the order and go straight to the scene and take over case even over the objections of other officers there and he'd chase the suspect, find him and arrest him. Of course there'll be a moment where he decides whether or not to kill the murderer or he'll get lucky and the murderer will do something to give him an excuse to kill him. He might get yelled at by his boss or maybe not. He'll tell him it's his friend and he'll find the killer even if you take him off the case or fire him. He'll be congratulated at the end by everyone. No consequences for disobeying an order and taking over someone else's crime scene. 

[proserpina65]

On 12/14/2023 at 3:30 AM, andromeda331 said:

Except for one to Gitmo they got to use the director's plane. 

It seems extremely unlikely that the director of NCIS would get a private plane.

[Raja]

1 hour ago, proserpina65 said:

It seems extremely unlikely that the director of NCIS would get a private plane.

The premier law enforcement and spy agency in the world demands no less than a 15 year director with an assigned business jet.

[andromeda331]

Santa Claus exists. In dozens maybe even hundreds of TV shows they will meet Santa or notice extra presents or hear reindeer or Santa's Ho Ho Ho to show that Santa really does exist. Given how often it happens you'd think everyone in TVland would believe.  

[Kel Varnsen]

10 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

Santa Claus exists. In dozens maybe even hundreds of TV shows they will meet Santa or notice extra presents or hear reindeer or Santa's Ho Ho Ho to show that Santa really does exist. Given how often it happens you'd think everyone in TVland would believe.  

The weirdest part is parents who don't believe in Santa (when he is actually real). So where did you think those extra presents you didn't buy came from?

Edited December 29, 2023 by Kel Varnsen

[Calvada]

I have learned from TV that if a loved one is ever in a prolonged state of unconsciousness in the hospital, all I need to do is lay my head on their bed, begin to weep, and voila!  They will return to consciousness and either reach out and stroke my head or grip my hand.  

[KittyMom4]

@Calvada adding to your hospital theme: Having had daughter in the hospital ER for 24 hours last week I can attest that ER's on TV are much nicer than ER's in real life. On TV they are bright, spacious and staffed with attentive, readily available nurses, dr's and attendants. The one my daughter was in was dark, overcrowded, noisy and they only time we saw a dr/nurse/attendant is when they checked her vitals*.

*This is not a hit on anyone in the medical field, thankfully my daughter was not in need of constant observation (and even more thankfully she is home and doing well), I'm just pointing out the big difference between a TV show ER and an actual ER. 

[SoMuchTV]

Every tv parent (especially single parents) has an on-call, instantly available babysitter when necessary for plot purposes. Even if you make minimum wage and there have been no previous mentions of you having parents, siblings, etc. nearby. 

[proserpina65]

On 1/19/2024 at 1:53 PM, KittyMom4 said:

@Calvada adding to your hospital theme: Having had daughter in the hospital ER for 24 hours last week I can attest that ER's on TV are much nicer than ER's in real life. On TV they are bright, spacious and staffed with attentive, readily available nurses, dr's and attendants. The one my daughter was in was dark, overcrowded, noisy and they only time we saw a dr/nurse/attendant is when they checked her vitals*.

*This is not a hit on anyone in the medical field, thankfully my daughter was not in need of constant observation (and even more thankfully she is home and doing well), I'm just pointing out the big difference between a TV show ER and an actual ER. 

Except on the show ER, where, whatever its other issues might be concerning realism, the ER actually looked a lot more like the ones I've seen in real life.

 

[Shannon L.]

High school labs have all kinds of chemicals and a lot of scientific equipment. 

 

[possibilities]

... and big budget Halloween costumes. 

[Raja]

The crews of cruise ships are made up of lots of young Americans and the international contingent  are rarely heard from.

[ABay]

All police detectives are workaholics.

[proserpina65]

22 hours ago, ABay said:

All police detectives are workaholics.

And most of the time there's only one shift of detectives, even in a big city.

[JustHereForFood]

And the few times their team works on two cases at the same time, they turn out to be connected. Seems like until one crime is solved, that area is safe from further crime.

[BlueSkies]

There was an old episode of The Wonder Years that has actually has always bothered me.  Maybe some recall it here:  Kevin and his friends sneak out and take his Dad's car to try and see The Rolling Stones in a surprise gig.  In the meanwhile Kevin I think already had some speeding tickets and his Dad warned him about going out/leaving the house.

 

A long story short he drives all over creation and I think hit his Dad's car in the rear somewhere.  But it's implied Kevin is off the hook when the people Kevin's parents went out with happened to hit Kevin's dad car in the same spot.  It appeared Kevin got off the hook.  Still if his Dad was savvy he would have still detected something was up:

 

Did Kevin fill his Dad's car with gas after driving all over creation?

His Dad may very well have noticed how many more miles were on his odometer all of a sudden.  

Did he adjust the seat?  Did his friends liter the car?

 

If I did that my dad is savvy enough with cars he would have picked up on it.  So yeah it always bothered me in that episode how Kevin is supposed to be off the hook from his parent's noticing.  

 

Edited April 23 by BlueSkies

[Kel Varnsen]

On 4/22/2024 at 2:29 PM, ABay said:

All police detectives are workaholics.

Of course they are. You would be too if so many of your cases had some sort of connection to your personal life.

Edited April 24 by Kel Varnsen

[Danielg342]

On 4/23/2024 at 7:11 PM, Kel Varnsen said:

Of course they are. You would be too if so many of your cases had some sort of connection to your personal life.

I've mentioned it before, I think, but it's something Hollywood seems to always get wrong about every job, at least as far as the main protagonist is concerned. Focal characters are always diligent, punctual go-getters who put in the extra work to make sure they've done their jobs right, even if it means having to re-open a task at the end of the day instead of simply declaring the task "done" and going home.

I have no statistics, obviously, but having worked in workplaces with lots of other people, I can safely say that there are very few people who are so dedicated to their jobs that they'll put in the extra mile to get things right. Now, I grant that the amount of people who "hot dog" at their jobs likely depends on the field, and most of my experiences are at low-paying jobs where employee motivation is already a struggle, but, knowing we're all humans, even at so-called "better" jobs, not everyone is going to be on top of their jobs all the time. Even the best will get lazy and give in to the temptation to cut corners, even if it would be disastrous for them to do so.

Perhaps there's a good reason why Hollywood makes their characters so dedicated to their jobs. Firstly, a character who is lazy is typically not very likeable, and, secondly, it's not a very satisfying story if plots were always resolved because a character was simply lazy.

This goes both ways- for the protagonist and the antagonist. You want your protagonist to succeed because they overcame everything the antagonist threw at them, not because the antagonist got bored halfway through the story. Conversely, a loss for the protagonists would not be impactful if they were not shown trying so hard to do everything they can to succeed at the challenge only to fall short. If the protagonist simply went through the motions and failed because of it, the audience would very much wonder if the protagonist would have succeeded had they actually tried, and they might wonder how serious the challenge really was if the protagonist didn't offer any effort in trying to overcome it.

So while it's not accurate for Hollywood characters to be dedicated go-getters, it's a more satisfying story to write them that way.

[ABay]

I don't think it's lazy to do your job and want to go home at the end of the regular work day.

[Affogato]

7 hours ago, ABay said:

I don't think it's lazy to do your job and want to go home at the end of the regular work day.

No, of course not, but there are different kinds of jobs. Anyway, a lot of detectives are characterized as being obsessed. They neglect their families and personal lives and end up not listening to their bosses one time too many, at which point they become hard drinking, hard core PIs with a soft spot for women who need help. Maybe their old partner, who is still on the force, is killed and they are the only one who cares enough to give the partner’s wife closure….

[Affogato]

On 12/13/2023 at 12:52 AM, Bastet said:

The only airplane scenes from The X-Files I can pull up in my memory were regular commercial flights, but it's been some time since my last re-watch -- when did they fly private?

Is it possible Mulder flew on a private jet with the cigarette smoking man? I seem to remember something like that, but vaguely. Haven’t watched for years.

[Kel Varnsen]

10 hours ago, Danielg342 said:

I've mentioned it before, I think, but it's something Hollywood seems to always get wrong about every job, at least as far as the main protagonist is concerned. Focal characters are always diligent, punctual go-getters who put in the extra work to make sure they've done their jobs right, even if it means having to re-open a task at the end of the day instead of simply declaring the task "done" and going home.

One dead give away that TV cops are giant workaholics (especially for procedural type shows) is that anytime there is any kind of social event like a retirement party or an awards ceremony it will always happen at the end of an episode. So they will also be able to use the event to celebrate the big case they just solved.  Because they always solve the case in time for the event, except for one episode of Homicide Life on the Street I remember watching where the event took place mid episode (and was kind of awesome for doing it).

[Danielg342]

9 hours ago, ABay said:

I don't think it's lazy to do your job and want to go home at the end of the regular work day.

No, I don't think so either. There's just a difference between completing your task with time to spare so you can go home early and cutting corners on said task just so you can go home early. One is happenstance, the other is laziness.

What I was also saying is that, sometimes, when we finish a task, we may not have necessarily finished it. It's not because we were bad at our jobs- it's another matter of us being human, in that we all make mistakes and overlook things. What tends to happen on these police procedurals is that, unless it's a plot point, you never get the protagonists leaving the crime scene thinking they've done their job when they actually haven't. If the task isn't done despite looking like so, one of the protagonists will have a "hunch" and they'll be back on the case, when, in reality, that wouldn't always happen.

[possibilities]

On TV, police solve cases, when in reality most go unsolved. Also, waaaaay less police brutality and murders at traffic stops happen on TV.

Clearance rates:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/194213/crime-clearance-rate-by-type-in-the-us/

[JustHereForFood]

We also rarely see what happens next to the killer. They might still be released if they get a good lawyer. I remember one episode of Bones that showed a trial for someone they caught some time ago. But usually we don't know, unless it's a killer who comes back in a later episode to target the team or to kill a next victim in their area and only then we learn that they were let go for some reason (I think in reality the team who caught them would probably be told?). 

[Haleth]

Imagine Jack Bauer saying, "Eh, I'll finish up tomorrow," and we get to watch him sleep for the next 8 episodes.

[Kel Varnsen]

2 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

We also rarely see what happens next to the killer. They might still be released if they get a good lawyer. I remember one episode of Bones that showed a trial for someone they caught some time ago. 

I am pretty sure that Bones was one of the shows I mentioned where they had to solve a murder before they went to the big gala that night. And it wasn't even a murder where there was an indication that the killer would keep killing people.

I think what finally turned me off procedurals was ones like Bones or Hawaii 5-0 where they are clearly solving a complicated murder in one day since they don't even change clothes during the episode.

[Raja]

24 minutes ago, Kel Varnsen said:

I think what finally turned me off procedurals was ones like Bones or Hawaii 5-0 where they are clearly solving a complicated murder in one day since they don't even change clothes during the episode.

Now that it is just about over on NCIS: Hawai'i the agents often went home for the night for domestic scenes in the middle of their murder cases

[Annber03]

9 hours ago, Haleth said:

Imagine Jack Bauer saying, "Eh, I'll finish up tomorrow," and we get to watch him sleep for the next 8 episodes.

Will he sleep on his right or left side? Or his back? Will he snore? Tune in to find out!

[Danielg342]

9 hours ago, Kel Varnsen said:

I think what finally turned me off procedurals was ones like Bones or Hawaii 5-0 where they are clearly solving a complicated murder in one day since they don't even change clothes during the episode.

Criminal Minds is pretty bad with this too, as often the agents will work deep into the night and forgo sleeping just to catch their killer. Now, the agents of CM were supposed to deal with really "dangerous" killers who were almost always at risk of "devolving" into spree killers (which also doesn't make any sense, as that's now how real serial killers act) so you could justify the sleepless nights in order to catch the killer, but the show wasn't always consistent with the need to forgo sleep (the need for rest was even a plot point in S5) and I sometimes wonder if the stakes were really that high many times. Sure, the town might be on edge because they're dealing with an active serial killer, but it's not like the killer was always operating- there would have been times the agents could have slept.

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

Will he sleep on his right or left side? Or his back? Will he snore? Tune in to find out!

LOL.

Well, Jack Bauer not sleeping isn't totally inaccurate- lots of people go without sleep, especially special operatives.

What gets me about Bauer is that we never see him having to use the toilet or eating or drinking. He's in a highly stressful situation, he fights off sleep, he routinely exerts himself physically...that makes me hungry thinking about it. How Bauer doesn't need to eat despite all that is beyond me.

Besides, they could have easily filmed him having a breakthrough while having his lunch or sitting on the toilet. I can do a lot of good thinking during those times, and Bauer could have too.

[Annber03]

1 minute ago, Danielg342 said:

Criminal Minds is pretty bad with this too, as often the agents will work deep into the night and forgo sleeping just to catch their killer. Now, the agents of CM were supposed to deal with really "dangerous" killers who were almost always at risk of "devolving" into spree killers (which also doesn't make any sense, as that's now how real serial killers act) so you could justify the sleepless nights in order to catch the killer, but the show wasn't always consistent with the need to forgo sleep (the need for rest was even a plot point in S5) and I sometimes wonder if the stakes were really that high many times. Sure, the town might be on edge because they're dealing with an active serial killer, but it's not like the killer was always operating- there would have been times the agents could have slept.

My favorite thing about the "working into the night" aspect for this show was how the team would sometimes be called in at, like, two or three in the morning because of a case, or have spent an entire day/night at a police station, or whatever...

...and somehow they all still look relatively put together. Nobody's hair is all messy, nobody has morning breath, the women all still have their makeup and hairstyles in place, no dark circles under anyone's eyes, nobody's coming in in rumpled shirts that they haphazardly threw on from whatever they could quickly grab out of their closet, or outfits that were all messy after a night sleeping somewhere that wasn't a hotel room or their own bed. 

Nope. All still looking as professional as can be. 

[Raja]

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

My favorite thing about the "working into the night" aspect for this show was how the team would sometimes be called in at, like, two or three in the morning because of a case, or have spent an entire day/night at a police station, or whatever...

...and somehow they all still look relatively put together. Nobody's hair is all messy, nobody has morning breath, the women all still have their makeup and hairstyles in place, no dark circles under anyone's eyes, nobody's coming in in rumpled shirts that they haphazardly threw on from whatever they could quickly grab out of their closet, or outfits that were all messy after a night sleeping somewhere that wasn't a hotel room or their own bed. 

Nope. All still looking as professional as can be. 

Remember the  "he'll be hungry and tired" British Airways commercials. They flew a private luxury jet on Criminal Minds.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

7 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Will he sleep on his right or left side? Or his back? Will he snore? Tune in to find out!

Nah, he sleeps hanging upside down, like a bat.

[Blergh]

Jack Bauer and those detectives had NOTHING on Olivia and Esther Walton. Those two managed to keep their household of eleven fed, clothed and cleaned without so much as a hair out of place or a smudge visible  on either of them at the height of the Depression even when their husbands and offspring often would be in ragged, dirty and sweaty attire!

Edited April 28 by Blergh

[JustHereForFood]

Not the cops, but:

[Danielg342]

6 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

Not the cops, but:

Yeah, it doesn't matter what time of day or where they are or what condition they're supposed to be in...in Hollywood, everyone is always dolled up, especially the women.

Step by Step kind of parodied this in an episode. Carol spots one of her kids (I believe it was Karen) going back into her room after she had just snuck out of the house. Carol asks Karen what she was doing, and Karen tries to fool her mother by saying she was just using the bathroom.

Carol then asks rhetorically, "you put on mascara and all this makeup just to use the bathroom?"

Karen seemed to understand her fate by asking how long she'd be grounded for and I forget what Carol responded with but Karen sure was benched for a while.

[Dimity]

5 hours ago, Danielg342 said:

Yeah, it doesn't matter what time of day or where they are or what condition they're supposed to be in...in Hollywood, everyone is always dolled up, especially the women.

People often talk about how unrealistic housewives were portrayed in the early days of TV (the classic wearing a dress and pearls to vacuum kind of thing) but honestly it's not much better now!  Leaving the perfect hair and make up aside I always get a kick out of how well dressed the average woman is when she's supposedly kicking back and relaxing at home.  Yes some shows are really good about turning this on its head (Roseanne comes to mind) but those shows are still a tiny minority.

Edited April 29 by Dimity

[Annber03]

3 minutes ago, Dimity said:

People often talk about how unrealistic housewives were portrayed in the early days of TV (the classic wearing a dress and pearls to vacuum kind of thing) 

My mom's always talked about that when we watch shows from the 1950s and 1960s. She'll see women walking around in dresses and pearls and be like, "My mom NEVER dressed like that. She wore pants and went to work every day and held down the finances and everything."

(Mind, part of that was because my grandpa was a truck driver and would be gone for weeks at a time because of his job, so my grandma kind of HAD to hold down the fort while he was gone. But still). 

[JustHereForFood]

10 hours ago, Dimity said:

People often talk about how unrealistic housewives were portrayed in the early days of TV (the classic wearing a dress and pearls to vacuum kind of thing) but honestly it's not much better now!  Leaving the perfect hair and make up aside I always get a kick out of how well dressed the average woman is when she's supposedly kicking back and relaxing at home.  Yes some shows are really good about turning this on its head (Roseanne comes to mind) but those shows are still a tiny minority.

And often when they dress more casually, it's meant as a sign that they are letting themselves go or have a depression.

[Ohiopirate02]

12 hours ago, Dimity said:

People often talk about how unrealistic housewives were portrayed in the early days of TV (the classic wearing a dress and pearls to vacuum kind of thing) but honestly it's not much better now!  Leaving the perfect hair and make up aside I always get a kick out of how well dressed the average woman is when she's supposedly kicking back and relaxing at home.  Yes some shows are really good about turning this on its head (Roseanne comes to mind) but those shows are still a tiny minority.

My favorite part is the obvious corralling of The Girls every TV actress has going on no matter the circumstance.  Sometimes you see the bra, other times there are no visible straps, but they are always contained.  And if we do see a character in her bra, ninety percent of time it's the same make and model, Natori Feathers.  

[Dimity]

4 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

And often when they dress more casually, it's meant as a sign that they are letting themselves go or have a depression.

On the sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond, the mother, Marie is an obsessive clean freak but even though she spends most of her time cooking and cleaning she is always dressed to the nines with every hair in place.  Except in the one episode where she is depressed.  In that one she is shown eating store bought (the horror) donuts and wearing a wrinkled and probably food stained robe.  

[possibilities]

For women, being comfortable is a sign of depression. And being messy? Cardinal sin.