S09.E11: Tell All - Part 1

[Galloway Cave]

Quote

The Browns discuss the season's jaw-dropping moments, Meri's dream of buying a bed and breakfast may have driven the family even further apart, the Browns discuss Utah's tough new polygamy law.

Hold on just a little longer, my weary internet sisterwives. We are in the home stretch. Tell-Nothing Part 1 is here! By jaw-dropping moments, I assume they mean all the really, REALLY stupid shit the Browns and especially FT did this season. Meri never had a "dream" of buying a B&B. She never even had a dream of buying the fambly home. She was conned by a con artist who is even better than Kodouche. And he hated it. The purchase didn't drive the fambly further apart, I'm sure they are quite happy to have her sourpuss face three hours away from them. Blah Blah Blah Fishcakes PolygamyLaw.

Edited March 25, 2018 by Galloway Cave

[Gothish520]

I can't wait to see this cluster-fudge. 

I assume these tell-alls are filmed more recently than the already-old-news episodes - does anyone know if that's true?

[Kohola3]

4 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

Hold on just a little longer, my weary internet sisterwives.

Call the Midwife - my antidote to all things Brown. 

I'll catch up in the forums thanks to you delightful souls who take a bullet for the rest of us.  Personall I become physically ill when any one of the Grifting Groaners is on the screen.

[AZChristian]

34 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Call the Midwife - my antidote to all things Brown. 

I do love me some CtM, but have found recently that watching episodes of the Great British Baking Show on Netflix is an even better cure for dealing with the insanity we see elsewhere on television.

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

There will be more hot air spewed than at the Albuquerque balloon festival. We won't find out anything new, they will go on and on about McCankles & Fat Tony's wedding and the thousands of street taco's Fat Tony consumed. Maddies birth that went on for 40 days and nights, the B & B that does not have a wet bar. The wives are truly happy with Grody and their lives in the cult de sac.

We know Meri will be donning her best LLRue mix matched outfit, Christine will be the mouthpiece that never shuts up, Janelle will nap and Robyn will apply Abreva were needed.

[Sandy W]

Robyn and Christine will explain to us, once again why polygamist women don't go to the hospital to give birth..."because they don't want to get the father in trouble by having to put their name on the birth certificate".

When the young adult Browns are interviewed, Maddie will roll her eyes and look dis-interested when the topic moves from her birthing experience to Mariah's coming out, FT & Mykelti's wedding or Ysabel's scoliosis.

[xwordfanatik]

23 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Robyn and Christine will explain to us, once again why polygamist women don't go to the hospital to give birth..."because they don't want to get the father in trouble by having to put their name on the birth certificate".

When the young adult Browns are interviewed, Maddie will roll her eyes and look dis-interested when the topic moves from her birthing experience to Mariah's coming out, FT & Mykelti's wedding or Ysabel's scoliosis.

You bet, and the polygamist mouthpieces will never admit to the real reason daddy's name can't be given:  that would mean they can't bleed the beast and get welfare for their umpteen kids.  

Maddie and Mykelti seem to be in competition for attention of any kind.  I suppose if I had been one of 18 kids, with a part-time Doofussy Daddy, I would be, too.

I will roll my eyes!  if Meri talks about dilling with mistrust, and her fillings being so hurt, by her "best friends" (LOL) sisters-in-spiritual-marriage.  Gag.

Look forward to the snark fest, tomorrow!

[toodles]

2 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I do love me some CtM, but have found recently that watching episodes of the Great British Baking Show on Netflix is an even better cure for dealing with the insanity we see elsewhere on television.

I hear ya sista!

[ginger90]

Video:

[VioletNevermind]

Good God, Kody’s hair looks absolutely horrible in these commercials for the tell-nothing.  I can’t believe I have to dill with looking at his man-pony and the buzzed sides of his big, dumbass head for two hours tonight.

2.5 hours until the softball game begins!

[AZChristian]

If my "shared husband" said that to anyone and it got back to me, there would be four widows living in the cult-de-sac.  Loved Robyn stating the obvious:  "Kody sometimes says things he shouldn't say."

[Kohola3]

Certain men can carry off the hairstyle.

Kootie - epic fail.

[bichonblitz]

Omg that bun! It's on the top of his head, is curled and looks like a lady bun. Why doesn't he just get a decent hair cut? 

In that short little clip, it's looks like Kody is over all of it. Robyn needs to watch what comes out of her mouth.  He is being uncomfortably truthful about what he feels about Meri. I have to applaud him for that. Can not wait for this shit show of a reunion! 

[Gothish520]

6 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Omg that bun! It's on the top of his head, is curled and looks like a lady bun. Why doesn't he just get a decent hair cut? 

In that short little clip, it's looks like Kody is over all of it. Robyn needs to watch what comes out of her mouth.  He is being uncomfortably truthful about what he feels about Meri. I have to applaud him for that. Can not wait for this shit show of a reunion! 

I agree. Kody and Meri really can't continue to dance around the truth. It might be ugly, but it needs to be said, and then dealt with.

[Swiss]

Watching the episodes leading up to tonight's Tell All.   These people are so full of themselves and so full of crap.  And does no one in this family of 200 or whatever it is, have the guts to tell Cody how stupid he looks with that rat's nest on top his head??

  Please cancel this show.

[Kohola3]

Just now, Swiss said:

Please cancel this show.

A big AMEN to that.  Begone.

[Gothish520]

5 minutes ago, Swiss said:

 Please cancel this show.

5 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

A big AMEN to that.  Begone.

It's already renewed, and I'm glad because I love it!

[Swiss]

Quote

1 minute ago, Gothish520 said:

It's already renewed, and I'm glad because I love it!

Oh no..that's terrible news!!  Thanks for ruining my Sunday..lol.  Just kidding.  Will not watch tonight. Will come here to read highlights or is it lowlights??

[Gothish520]

LOL sorry @Swiss! Probably some highlights and lots of lowlights!

[Kohola3]

This show glorifies cheating, lying, grifting, financial ineptitude, and subjugation of women and makes these losers feel like celebrities instead of the dysfunctional idiots that they really are.  Sorry, I see nothing lovable about it.

[Swiss]

Kohola3, your description fits the Browns perfectly.  Maybe TLC should be honest with their viewers and post this as a "spoiler" before every episode.  I'm mad at myself for occasionally watching it..

Edited March 25, 2018 by Swiss

[Gothish520]

16 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

This show glorifies cheating, lying, grifting, financial ineptitude, and subjugation of women and makes these losers feel like celebrities instead of the dysfunctional idiots that they really are.  Sorry, I see nothing lovable about it.

LOL, well, loving a show doesn't mean that everyone (or often, anyone) on it is lovable. I disagree that it glorifies those things. I think it presents a look at a family, and often they are presented in an unfavorable light. The Browns are far from perfect and that is made painfully obvious. They are just people, imperfect human beings, and I find their story interesting. 

[giaNtsandYankees]

I'll add to the predictions:

 

• As another poster said, Meri will be wearing another LuLaRoe outfit...to market her "business."
• Aspyn will probably talk about her engagement.
• Logan might talk about his...but we haven't seen much of him this season. He was more of a "blink, you've missed him."
• Mykelti MIGHT announce that she's pregnant. We've seen the TH with her blond roots, and her face looking a little rounder than in the episodes. I could be wrong. She may not be pregnant. If that happes, Madison might return the "bitch stare" to her, the way Mykelti and FK gave Maddie the "bitch stare" when she announced her pregnancy.
• FT (for me, it's an abbreviation for F**k Tony!) will be a camera hog. Most likely interrupting Mykelti when a question is directed to her. Much like the way he took the seat she was aiming to sit in when they were going to a cake tasting.
• Meri will cry. Janelle will be in outer space (she might say a sentence or two about her grandson). Robyochin might cry and disingenuously talks about how much she Lo-ooves Meri, and wish she were around more. Christine will probably be her geeky-happy self since her relationship with Kody was improved...for now.
• Whoever is interviewing this family, I hope that they call Kody out for his contradictions. In one episode he (and Sobyn Clown) talked about wanted to move to Utah in the future) and in other episodes, he talks about not wanting to be there because of he's scared of being persecuted as a polygamist. I think Kody secretly wants to be arrested so he can be the modern face of a polygamist being jailed for living his beliefs....which I think Kody's not even sure of what his beliefs truly are.

[Galloway Cave]

20 minutes ago, giaNtsandYankees said:

As another poster said, Meri will be wearing another LuLaRoe outfit...to market her "business."

Surprise! Your vision will remain intact. She apparently is in mourning for her lost relationship with Kody, as she is dressed in gray and black. She is also still speaking in that stilted, slow voice, so I hope her contribution tonight will be minimal.

Oh, wait, forget what I said about your vision. The Curly Man Bun. The highly sculpted Curly Man Bun. 

[Armchair Critic]

Get real with "Kody has left the room so you can say what you really feel" bullsh*t, they know they are still being filmed so it's not like they are going to let the secrets fly.

[TurtlePower]

You guys, I'mm soooo mad. Trying to watch but getting this message from provider: "This channel should be available shortly." Really??

[Chicklet]

Janelle is starting to resemble Buddha.

Meri's hair looks beyond fried.

Robin isn't looking her best.

Christine seems ok.

Kody looks like a wanna-be sumo wrestler with that hair.

[Armchair Critic]

Give it up Robyn making the horking clearing the throat noises and crocodile tears over losing Meri.

[MissT]

Janelle looks pretty tonight.    Thats about all I have to say.  Oh and Meri is a liar. 

[Chicklet]

Yeah Janelle's face and hair are pretty on-point but its her body that I think is going wrong. For someone "STRIVING" heh, she sure isn't looking healthier or more fit.

Oh stop the sniveling people.

[Galloway Cave]

JHC. I will not be able to handle 2 hours of this slow-paced, fake-crying sniffling.

[Phronsie]

I want to help....just run in the room yelling “It’s Kody....HE is the problem!”

Guess that would considerably shorten the episode!

[LucyEth]

I don't think I can stand to hear Meri say one more time she is trying to find her role in the family.  Come on!  Maybe stop bragging about "your best friends" making you feel safe and spend more time with the family.  Didn't know everyone had to have specific roles.  I have to check with my family to see what my role in the family is.  I think Janelle and Christine look good.  Sorry but Meri and Robyn are not pretty, but I think Janelle and Christine are.

[Armchair Critic]

This is going to be even worse than the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview, another build up to nothing....

[MoodyGirl]

I’m not a fan of the man bun but I have to say I much prefer this over the mop he’s been wearing. At least it closely resembles a haircut!

[Granny58]

Kody is not shouldering a hell of a fight Janelle.

[Armchair Critic]

They are all too heavy to bend forward to give a fist bump. LOL

My one thing nice is that at least Meri has a tissue. So tired of the wiping her eyes with her hands and then checking her fingers for eye goo.

[Soup333]

Have Janelle and Kody ever had these problems in their marriage? I know he and Christine have. 

[ThinkerBell]

Trying to understand what Meri is saying without actually saying it is more complicated than attempting to decipher the Rosetta Stone. For goodness sake, Meri, say what you're thinking!

Edited March 26, 2018 by ThinkerBell

[Armchair Critic]

Just now, Soup333 said:

Have Janelle and Kody ever had these problems in their marriage? I know he and Christine have. 

I don't think Janelle cares if she has the physical/emotional intimacy that the others do.

[Granny58]

Christine is trying so hard to be open and vulnerable.  That is not easy.  Props to Christine.

[Armchair Critic]

6 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

Kody is not shouldering a hell of a fight Janelle.

I hope she is just sucking up to Kody because if she really believes that she needs to step away from the Kool Aid.

[Phronsie]

Kody has the demeanor of a serial killer!  Total narcissist.  He creeps me out.  

[MoodyGirl]

When Robyn asked Meri is this safe for you? I wanted to throw a glass at the TV. Enough with the psychobabble!

[TurtlePower]

9 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

I don't think I can stand to hear Meri say one more time she is trying to find her role in the family.  Come on!  Maybe stop bragging about "your best friends" making you feel safe and spend more time with the family.  Didn't know everyone had to have specific roles.  I have to check with my family to see what my role in the family is.  I think Janelle and Christine look good.  Sorry but Meri and Robyn are not pretty, but I think Janelle and Christine are.

If she has soooo many others making her feel better, she can leave. But we all know, she doesn't. In fact, she's recently been emphatic about not leaving the family on twitter. 

[Armchair Critic]

Just now, Phronsie said:

Kody has the demeanor of a serial killer!  Total narcissist.  He creeps me out.

Yup he's a total narcissist. Phronsie your name reminds me of the book 'Five Little Peppers' that I read as a kid.

[Phronsie]

Just now, Armchair Critic said:

Yup he's a total narcissist. Phronsie your name reminds me of the book 'Five Little Peppers' that I read as a kid.

That’s where I got the name, Armchair Critic!  

[Armchair Critic]

Oh hell no here he comes with their flight from persecution in Utah fiction......

[Armchair Critic]

Kody looks like such an idiot with that hair and his "serious" face, I just can't with him.

Edited March 26, 2018 by Armchair Critic

[VioletNevermind]

I wish that just one of these women would turn to this useless host and say, “Meri made every effort to leave this family and would have done so if her ‘stud’ hadn’t actually been a mentally-ill woman named Jackie.  Now this bitch is hanging onto us like a barnacle, with her nose out of joint, insisting on being given a place/role in the family.  How much longer do I have to pretend that this is acceptable?!”